Gay Marriage Isn’t Valid Unless Printed On Special Paper With Special Ink
This fellow in the video, Pastor Bob Nelson from the Merced First Baptist Church, seems quite pleased with himself (as does the women who makes a brief appearance in the background) for coming up with an incomprehensible argument against gay marriage that has something to do with how you figure out whether a $20 bill is counterfeit. That, says Preacher Bob, is the same way you figure out whether a gay marriage is counterfeit. Apparently if you try to pay for your gas with a gay marriage the Secret Service will arrest you for trying to pass a counterfeit bill. From this we can only conclude that gay marriage should be made illegal.
If your gaydar just went whoop-whoop-whoop, you’re not alone.
[h/t Evan Hurst]
Silly old queen should know better. I mean, CMON MARY!
Can’t be me first, can it?
Nah. Sigh. PM’s gaydar is set like a cat’s whiskers.
Pastor Bob paid for his gay marriage with gas.
Fucking money, how does that work?
I linked to this vid in the last thread.
Don’t know about my gaydar, but my smugassdar sure went off.
If your gaydar just went whoop-whoop-whoop, you’re not alone.
Insert “three dollar bill” joke…
without lube.
But where do I put the marker pen?
But where do I put the marker pen?
You had to go there.
The way his co-star was squirming, I’m sure they had some wild sexy time right after.
Keep the camera rolling .
Weird. I took his advice and apparently I should have around 10 wives and some of them should be my sisters. I don’t want to be counterfeit.
So we’re pushing for a return Biblical marriage? My husband needs another couple wives and I need a handmaid if you know what I mean and I know you do. Also trading wives and daughters to sex-crazed fiends for safe passage for oneself is good with God, as is abortion as long as you use a sword and infanticide as long as you bash their ickle brains out.
What does the bible say about $20 bills?
I wonder if anyone has seen the vault copy of the good Pastor’s marriage certificate?
She’s got that Helen Lovejoy look down pat.
Apparently if you try to pay for your gas with a gay marriage the Secret Service will arrest you for trying to pass a counterfeit bill. From this we can only conclude that gay marriage should be made illegal.
And apparently, blogging is the Tea Party Movement version of getting high.
It does the heart good, though, to see most of the commenters on the YouTube site taking this moron to task. There is hope yet.
“I wonder if anyone has seen the vault copy of the good Pastor’s marriage certificate?”
The long form, damnit! Not that cheap ass Hawaiian version.
To be fair, I fuck the guy at the convenience store straight up the old fart-pipe any time I’m a couple bucks short, so there is some logic to this argument.
But think about this: the banana. Perfectly shaped to fit in the human hand, and it even angles towards your mouth like a throbbing cock. If that’s not proof there’s a divine hand at work in the world, I’ll be monkey’s uncle.
Best punk band in Rhode Island.
Well, we go back to the author of marriage…
Fu Xi?
The author of our father and lord and savior…
Oh. Apparently he’s talking about the author of God. My mistake.
ickle brains
I read that as “Icke brains”, and went off Googling “reptilian humanoids” again.
Haterosexual
I see what you did there, Mr. Science-Talking Guy.
Marriage should be between a man, a woman, and a saucer full of ass-probing reptilians.
Man, this new season of Fry and Laurie isn’t very funny.
Homonups? Doubleplusungood!
Hey, the video for that Planned Parenthood child sex ring hoax is out. Media Matters is covering it. Even O’Keefe was able to fabricate incriminating evidence for more than one ACORN location — these guys only managed to get video of one employee at one Planned Parenthood clinic.
Planned Parenthood isn’t ACORN, though. ACORN had its own considerable internal weaknesses, limited public visibility, and little time to prepare for the attack. PP’s been dealing with the right-wing thugs for decades. They’ll be fine, I’m sure.
PS: Don’t anyone tell Mr. Stiff Upper Lip that other cultures were performing same-sex marriages back when Jeebus wasn’t even a divine inspiration in the Holy Spirit’s pants yet. Or that in places like, say, Canada, the anticipated mass outbreaks of baby-eating, Baal-worship, child-rape & illicit handball have yet to materialize, even after several years of “counterfeit” couples tying the knot.
Awww! They’re so cute when they try to make sense.
They’ll be fine, I’m sure.
This time, sure. But conservativism is like a tide of corrosion and the waves of hyperbolic acid just keep washing over the public until it becomes a self evident fact that PP was “caught” supporting a child sex ring, or at least did something wrong because they’ve half heard so many half truths about them being accused of doing wrong.
I just got a spam email from
IsrealYokel9465
They are online now in case any of y’all are interested. It’s either PENIS, BOOBS or low price swiss watches.
The author of our father and lord and savior…
So, NOT Lovecraft then? Whoozee talkin ’bout?
You know, you can go into a store and get change for a twenty – say a ten, a five, some ones and a few quarters to feed the parking meter. OMG! Teh Bible is pro-polygamy*!
*Yeah, yeah – Solomon and his thousand wives and concubines, &c. wev. Nevermind** I’ll stop trying to be all bibble snarky and stick to having sex with your mom.
**Sorry Smut.
Marriage should be between a man, a woman, and a saucer full of ass-probing reptilians.
Sure, if she does the cleaning and maybe can cook. Otherwise ….
“Now I want you to send all of your 20’s to me for verification. I can’t send them back but I can assure you that YOU WILL NOT BE GHAY!!!
OT, but I have no shame.
A Georgia state legislator seeks to abolish that despicable artifact of Gestapo-like tyranny known as the driver’s license.
Franklin told CBS Atlanta News that driver’s licenses are a throw back to oppressive times. “Agents of the state demanding your papers,” he said.
And don’t miss the keen legal reasoning in the comments section. One example of many:
All of our rights come from two sources, the holy bible and English Common Admirality Law by a man named Charlemage.
First most legal definitions come from a book entitled “Block’s Law Dictionary” Almost every legal term we use today came from that book.
The Term “license” means a permit to do something that is ordinarily illegal.
So where in the U.S. Constitution did the founding fathers state that one form of transportation is illegal and another form is legal? Answer they didn’t. There fore, it always has been a legal right to drive a car without a license.
Render gently unto Caesar that which belongs to Caesar. Then discard all but one tablespoon of the fatty drippings, add a pinch of Tony Chachere’s and a garlic clove before stirfrying.
The Teddy Code was when they made all religions other than Xianity illegal. Fuck you and your Jesus marriage crap ya flaming Nancy*.
* If there was never a band called the Flaming Nancy’s there should have been.
Sex with your dad has the biblical seal of approval even. Plus he swallows.
So you get to the Pearly Gates, St Peter asks for your marriage certificate, swipes it with a neon highlighter and YOU ARE SO BUSTED! Ain’t that an interesting slant on the after-life?
I read that as “Icke brains”, and went off Googling “reptilian humanoids” again.
Is it fair to call a PUMA a “reptilian humanoid?”
I know, right? I mean one minute they’re talking about “sanctions” against Iran, and the next they’re all up in our face claiming we “sanction” violence against gays, so which is it libs?!
Plus he swallows.
Tastes salty. Uh, or so I’ve heard. TOTES HETEROSEXUALLY!
Having just paid the jack-booted tyrants of GADOT (say, how do you pronounce that?) for a new license I anxiously await the outcome of this idjit’s legal battle.
,,,GADOT,,,
There’s a Sam Beckett joke in there about long lines or something.
“Marriage should be between a man, a woman, and a saucer full of ass-probing reptilians.”
HOTT
What does the bible say about $20 bills?
Just leave ’em in the plate.
Once upon a time, there was a woman and a man, and they grew very fond of one another. Sometimes, as an expression of their fondness, they had sex. Sometimes they had sex in ways that did not result in babies. One time the man said he was very curious about the taste of his own sacred essence. The woman said, what? You never accidentally tasted your own whilst spilling your seed? And the man was ashamed to admit he had not. So the woman said, okay, wait. And when the deed was accomplished, she swallowed not, neither did she choke, but instead delivered into the mouth of her beloved the very essence he had just released. And the man was all astonishment. “O dear Lord!” he ejaculated. “That is truly vile and disgusting!” The woman replied “And yet….” And the man stood in awe of her, and considered himself the most fortunate of God’s creatures. The end.
I am waiting for the next video, this one starring the guy behind the camera who says “Excellent!” at the end. With a special appearance by a saucer full of ass-probing reptilians.
And the man stood in awe of her, and considered himself the most fortunate of God’s creatures. The end.
Pics or it didn’t happen.
Franklin told CBS Atlanta News that driver’s licenses are a throw back to oppressive times. “Agents of the state demanding your papers,” he said.
I would do anything to see a reporter ask him his opinion of the Arizona “show me your papers or be deported” law.
a saucer full of ass-probing reptilians
A little plastic wrap will keep your saucers free of vermin.
Thing I like about this vid is how proud they both look. Like toddlers who’ve mad a poo in the potty.
Of course, these folks are so dumb they prolly are genuinely excited when they manage not to shit their pants.
“saucers free of vermin.”
Its funny, when I think saucer I think of the little milk-filled ones for feeding kittens…so i was picturing very small reptiles.
What kind of sicko pictures very small reptiles anally probing kittens?
“mad a poo in the potty.”
Made, too. Also
“What kind of sicko pictures very small reptiles anally probing kittens?”
I’m embarrassed this made me laugh so much.
Yeah, vs, you’d better not get mad at poo in the potty. Actually, I figure that at some point, many many months hence, when the poo in fact goes into the potty and not the diaper, you’re gonna run right over to the keyboard and we’re gonna have a big ol’ celebration.
Yeah yeah, the dude has a stiff upper lip — the flat philtrum thing. Possibly he’s holding a pinch of snuff up there? Some special tuna-juice? (if you know what I mean and I think you do).
But, here we are, with this fool while Rome burns, bankers crouch under their leather couches convinced that al-Queada is out to get them (if only we were so lucky) and I guess the media thinks that makes us scared?
And Rethuglicans are winning Supreme Court judgments against healthcare reform, they are working in the states to pull back Medicaid, what’s left of Fuel Assistance (again) and TANF and if that’s not enough to break your back, they are still fighting to throw social security into the stock market.
But, let’s worry about what the gay folks are doing because some fucktard in East Jesus wants to feel better about how he gets the hard-on thinking about boy acolytes with no clothes on under their robes.
Where’s my damn ticket to France?
I’m in no mood for this shit Word Press, gimme back my god-damned writing or I’ll.
Look at you wrong.
Put the poo in the potty pot and flush it all away
You put the poo in the potty pot and flush it all away
You put the poo in the potty pot and flush it all away
You put the poo in the potty pot and call the doctor woke him up
I said Doctor! Is there nothing I can take
I said Doctor! To relieve this bellyache
I said Doctor! Is there nothing I can take
I said Doctor! To relieve this bellyache
Somedays you just have tohave Uncle Lou singing “Heroin”on teh intertube
Exellent N_B, but my three year old grandson might disagree.
He likes to put the poo in his unnerwears.
So … a man can buy a wife for $20 cash but if he wants to buy a husband he’ll need a credit card or a check.
This thread needs MOAR JEEBUS!
Halfway down the page, a statue that Lladro could never have imagined.
a man can buy a wife for $20 cash
Buy cheap, you end up just stuffing it away in the closet. Pay a little more, get some real use…
Jeebus is ma coach!! The saintly balls are something else
Granted, Larkspur. But I’m hoping that when that happens little Liam/Wyatt/Dudeskull will be 2 or 3, not 60.
Somedays you just have tohave Uncle Lou singing “Heroin”on teh intertube
A fine song, that you never, ever hear at karaoke.
Saintly balls. Yes indeedy. These are end times.
Jesus is my massage therapist.
“What kind of sicko pictures very small reptiles anally probing kittens?”
I suggest you do not Google that.
I suggest you do not Google that.
I’m way ahead of you, bub.
Transcript of the brainstorming session behind this wonderful work of video:
Camera Guy: Okay, so teh marriage is for babby making only argument fell flat; and teh ghey marriage will lead to extinction of teh human race thing didn’t pan out; and teh ghey marriage cheapens reg’lar old opposite-sex marriage argument still gets us funny looks like we’re still covered in all those obscene Sharpie drawings from that time we let your brother stay over. What do we got left?
Pastor Bob: Got it. We’ll appeal to America’s desire for an oppressive theocracy based on the Bibble! Who wouldn’t love to be part of that!
“So … a man can buy a wife for $20 cash but if he wants to buy a husband he’ll need a credit card or a check.”
Men have agency in the bible, the man can just walk over and say, “You got me sweetheart.”
That’s it.
Before long, there won’t be a need for winking when saying, “He’s married.”
Teh kittehs are NOT ENTIRELY HELPLESS
they kno lizard fu
“Got it. We’ll appeal to America’s desire for an oppressive theocracy based on the Bibble! [sic] Who wouldn’t love to be part of that!”
Millions of American women sign up for that everyday all day.
This is why cats should be revered. And perhaps feared.
Teh kittehs are NOT ENTIRELY HELPLESS
True dat.
Jesus H. Christ, I just saw on the news that the president is a colored fellow. Is this common knowledge?
DK-W, you gotta quit getting into the minds of these wingtards. Sure its hilarious an it amuses me, but I’m afraid you might get IN TOO DEEP and not be able to come back to us.
I’m afraid you might get IN TOO DEEP
That’s why he wears a double wetsuit.
Where the White women at?
but I’m afraid you might get IN TOO DEEP and not be able to come back to us.
Not to worry. Usually when I go in too deep, I come. Uh, I mean I come again.
come again
Isn’t that a recently-popular novel?
Left myself wide open for that one.
See what I did there?
See what I did there?
No…I was in my bunk.
What do you guys do in this bunk you’re always talking about? Make forts? Read comic books by flashlight?
I’ll be in my bunk.
Hey, my bunk is moist.
I really enjoyed Serenity—space zombies!
I’m afraid you might get IN TOO DEEP
He’s not Phil Collins.
”
He’s not Phil Collins.”
I KNEW all those stories about his gold records were bullshit.
“Hey, my bunk is moist.
Stop molesting the pillows, haven’t they had enough?
What happens in the bunk, unfortunately stays there.
I KNEW all those stories about his gold records were bullshit.
What are you talking about?! Look that’s a REAL Grammy Award and not a counterfeit. Just check with the authors – the Bibble.
Yeah, it’s a Grammy award…cuz you’ve been fucking Grandmas.
Girls are the BUNK!
The Bibble done dribble
Some drabble and babble
but don’t worry, don’t worry
and don’t start any rabble
cause a man and a wife
they will have a life
whether together or not
two men in a bed is hot
Teh Bibble says man and wife
And that’s the way it is for life.
There is no biblical recourse
If you want to divorce.
But man and man
No marriage can
Be sanctioned under the Bibble
But it is still hot.
Uh, or so I’m told – tote heterosexually.
Don’t be silly. John “Rusty Orange” Boehner is not the president.
I would so join that church . . . Oh, no, wait, I was thinking of Versed.
Gotta admit, it would explain a lot, though.
Argument by analogy – ur doin it rong. Even I can do better with the ‘counterfeit money’ analogy:
Counterfeit money is something that works only when most of the money is not counterfeit. Once too much money is counterfeit, the whole system of money collapses because noone trusts that the money is real. Similarly, gay marriage only works when most of the marriages are opposite marriages; once there are too many gay marriages the whole institution of marriage will collapse because people won’t know whether their marriage is a real opposite marriage or a fake gay one.
come again
Isn’t that a recently-popular novel?
The Victorian zombie porn one?
That was the worst. I feel bad for people who have to listen to this guy preach.
Actually, they probably deserve it for going to the church of a theocratic douchebag.
Hey, the video for that Planned Parenthood child sex ring hoax is out.
I was hoping that went away. Fuck.
“Similarly, gay marriage only works when most of the marriages are opposite marriages; once there are too many gay marriages the whole institution of marriage will collapse because people won’t know whether their marriage is a real opposite marriage or a fake gay one.”
Then suddenly the sun came out, the birdies sang, the unicorns danced and all was right with the world and we loved one another forever and ever and all of us all at the same time.
The End.
Sooooo… the author of ‘our lord & savior’ doesn’t like fake $20s, but only man on women domestic arrangements. So is marriage a dollar-based transaction, therefore not valid with other currencies? Or is marriage only valid if you don’t have counterfeit money. Maybe he’s implying that you have to pay money for marriage, like seeing a hooker. Does that equate marriage? What about if the hooker is a tranny and your pay her to peg you? Is that valid? Or is it OK to just pay young men money to suck them off as long as they carry your luggage? What about if you’re wearing a series of wetsuits? Does that mean you aren’t actually touching the ghey? Now I’m all confused again, THANKS for nothing, “Pastor” Bob.
The Biblical position on marriage is clear, and is supported by the vast sweep of human history and tradition:
and also
Wow.
I mean, yeah, the stupid and the half-formed thoughts where they think they’ve got something clever and it’s collapsing as they try and formulate it into words that make half as much sense as the methaphetamine fueled fever dream that birthed them.
But I think the crowning moment is where the cognitive dissonance nearly slips into the analogy. Legal tender’s “legitimacy” is determined by the laws of the land, how it is distributed, and so on. A secular affair in which one’s money isn’t worth less if one is black, gay, Real American TM, or anchor baby terrorist as long as it was printed by the US Treasury.
And you see him waver and stutter as he nearly makes clear that marriage is the same, a secular affair determining the right to contract and which can be expanded to include same-sex pairings by the march of legal jurisprudence and growing secular notions of fairness and justice.
But he can’t make that argument. Making that argument means that it’s not about God or what self-righteous bigots think and furthermore, that attempts to block access to marriage or render same-sex pairings as less than would be akin to treating every dollar being spent by a black person as 75 cents.
So you see the hive mind kick in to whir the cognitive dissonance and protect the brain from accidentally stumbling on the truth through linguistic and anecdotal clumsiness. So suddenly, the author of Our Father is the “author of marriage” and we get a mealy-mouthed reiteration of the “Bible says marriage is a man and a woman” (Also, yeah, I’m going to have to ask for citation here. There is a lot of heinous evil in the Babble, even about gay folks if all you read is Leviticus and the Letters of Paul (and ignore the stories of Ruth and David of course), but I don’t remember anything akin to “Marriage is between a man and a woman”. There is a lot about what happens to rich men, those who focus on enforcing punitive laws above caring for fellow man, and the importance of standing up for minority groups that had that nice Jesus fellow saying very specific things, but then those passages are banned in Fundamentalist circles for heresy).
“Author of God” (I’m so stealing this now) owns marriage and He (and it is always a He) happens to agree with whatever bigoted notion the pastor believes in just at the time when the governing authority (i.e. the same backing authority in his money example) is starting to turn against these dinosaurs.
Quelle surprise.
I will say that they are not becoming any less stupid, proud of their ignorant half-arguments, or annoying, but they do seem to becoming more incoherent in the last couple of years. I wonder if the beginning of the loss of wanna-be intellectual “moderates” is the reason or if it’s simply a general crazification factor prompted by the Teabaggers Ascendent.
I’m surprised that the guy accepts $20 notes as legitimate, rather than insisting on GOLD.
Shekeled by his own ignorance, as it were.
I am all for biblical marriage. Marriage should be a sacred bond between a man and as many women as he can afford.
Sadly, I can barely afford one.
“He (and it is always a He) happens to agree”
Everyone knows that God has a penis and since he is God the creater of everything, I am sure God gave himself a very large penis. This truth seems self evident and beyond dispute.
Also, good comment Cerberus.
This begs the question, is God’s dick circumcised and if so, by whom?
gocart mozart-
The Celestial Wang of the capital-lettered one is so massive, so universe-engulfing that it is almost big enough to contain all the massive insecurities and masculinity anxieties of wingnuts. Bow before the God Penis. Lean forward, taste it a little. As long as it’s the big He it’s all no homo.
gocart mozart-
The Universal Twig and Berries is circumcised by the black hole at the center of the Milky Way. In fact, he decided to get trimmed late in life, thus displacing the Earth from the center of the universe. MOTHER CHURCH IS NEVAR RONG !ONEELEVENTYANDSOFORTH!
This sounds like a job for Mega Mohel!
Are any of these guys not gay? I mean, the amount of human suffering that has occurred at the expense of closet cases trying to fight off the gay is really sad.
And now I shall go to bed before the inevitable Cut v. Uncut debate begins.
(The correct answer is Cut. Pffbbbbbt!)
Cerberus, you seem to focus an awful lot on God’s schlong. If I did not know better (I don’t) I would think that you have a thing for the almighty thing. Its a shame God is dead.
is God’s dick circumcised
I am not sure about the legal standing of a covenant signed with oneself.
and if so, by whom?
God has some serious psychological problems so self-mutilation is a possibility.
The whole business of the Elohim make sense if you imagine God as suffering from multiple-personality disorder. Jehovah is just one of the alters.
“This sounds like a job for Mega Mohel!”
Godzilla’s most feared enemy.
gocart mozart-
I was trying to channel the wingnut id. Perhaps I should have used more snark tags to protect against the cooties (by which I mean brainrot).
Honestly, though, with the amount of intense masculinity crises and various obsessions with male ultimate authority, it makes one wonder if they’d be more happy worshipping the Main Man rather than that faggy Jesus fellow.
Favorite God: Jehova, God or Allah?
Can God create a dick so uncircumcised that God himself cannot circumcise it?
Cerberus, all good. I was snarking atya.
I say, that boy’s taken more balls off the chin than Johnny Bench.
Metaphysics and penis! Only at Sadly,No!
gocart-
I figured, but I wanted to clarify nonetheless.
Of course, I feel this topic can’t be complete without this classic line.
God, he’s the Space Penis. In. SPAAAAAAAAAAACE!
“I say, that boy’s taken more balls off the chin than Johnny Bench.”
Veiled teabag reference.
I thought that was Steve Miller.
Unveiled! I should say . . . . LEAVE MICHELE BACHMANN ALOONE!!!!
This thread got excellent. MOAR PENIS.
That right there is home truth.
This new nym fucking SUITS, mate.
I say, that boy’s taken more balls off the chin than Johnny Bench.
So does he wear the tools of ignorance? Or is he a tool of ignorance? Or just a tool? My hunch is number three.
It does indeed, Spengler.
PS: Don’t anyone tell Mr. Stiff Upper Lip that other cultures were performing same-sex marriages back when Jeebus wasn’t even a divine inspiration in the Holy Spirit’s pants yet. Or that in places like, say, Canada, the anticipated mass outbreaks of baby-eating, Baal-worship, child-rape & illicit handball have yet to materialize, even after several years of “counterfeit” couples tying the knot.
So if not Canada, where is this glorious place – I must reschedule my honeymoon.
This rev is no mere teabagger, we’re talking full-size grocery bags.
That is to say, he sucks enormous kraft-paper resembling thingys.
I am calling God out! If he’s so omnipotent and everything, I dare him to bust a hymen from the inside out, grow up as a fanatic in some desert shithole and then get nailed to boards and stabbed and die. And the folks nailing him up? Oh, just for the hell of it, let’s say ancient robot unicorns.
OT; I love how the story of the blond American woman from Philly who tried to kill a Swedish artist in the name of Islam has received practically no attention (this is the first I hear of it in almost a year) compared to the fearsome Underwear Bomber and even the quite inoffensive Park51 preacher.
I suspect that the thought of Muslims among us who cannot be profiled in the Israeli fashion is so unsettling they can’t bring themselves to do anything but sweep it under the carpet.
In Russia, race card plays you.
That poor man has no lips at all.
That poor man has no lips at all.
Lips are gay. Could lead to cocksucking.
In a fit of panic, thinking that I did not have enough booze* for Snowmageddon III (the snowiest Snowmageddon yet!), I bought a “pint” of really cheap whiskey at the convenience store. There was halfway decent whiskey there (not great, but still drinkable), but for some reason, I couldn’t bring myself to spend the extra FOUR DOLLARS on a better stuff. I regret that. I may be switching to vodka.
*I like my hot toddies like I like my men, strong and full of Maker’s Mark.
That was the worst. I feel bad for people who have to listen to this guy preach.
he reminds me of the freakazoid preacher at a wedding i was at this summer…no lie, this dude mentioned the fact that a) the bride has special plumbing b) this special plumbing springs a leak every 28 days and will make her cranky c) this special plumbing was also for baby making d) can i mention one more time that the bride has special plumbing that will leak every 28 days?
it was truly creepy…and awkward…
Relevant.
“*I like my hot toddies like I like my men, strong and full of Maker’s Mark.”
T&U, I M D guy 4 U.
sub’s link–number 2 made me laff! i’m always amazed when cantore doesn’t whip off his snow pants to measure the snow with his dick…
“this dude mentioned the fact that a) the bride has special plumbing b) this special plumbing springs a leak every 28 days and will make her cranky c) this special plumbing was also for baby making d) can i mention one more time that the bride has special plumbing that will leak every 28 days?”
You can put a man on the moon . . .
This discrimination against weak teetotalers proves liberals are intolerant.
he reminds me of the freakazoid preacher at a wedding i was at this summer
Ick. And I was pissed when the dude quoted that fucking verse from Corinthians that EVERYBODY fucking quotes…at least he didn’t talk about my periods.
T&U, I M D guy 4 U.
Now, now, now, slow down here! I didn’t say those were the *only* qualifications.
Do you have bacon?
You can put a man on the moon . . .
but you can’t train a plumber to stop a woman from leaking every 28 days.
[A pre-emptive sincere gocart apology to every Sadly, Nyet!]
“Do you have bacon?”
I can get some.
I must correct a grievous error that was made repeatedly in this thread.
The Reptilians don’t anal-probe people. They’re the leaders. They farm out all the anal-probing duties to the Greys.
And I, for one, am against Grey Marriage.
omg…i have not been up this late without the benefit of alcohol or jon stewart…it is time for bed…that ED guy on MSNBC is yelling again…
and don’t ask why my teevee is on MSNBC…teh hubby turned it there and then promptly fell asleep and i am too freaking lazy to get up and get the remote…
and my dogs are too dumb to learn how to use it for me…
I recognise the paintings in the background of the video. They feature in “In the Mouth of Madness”, hanging on the wall of the hotel room in Hobbs End.
Slowly back away from the T.V. bbkf and and call the authorities. NOW!
I don’t usually rant, but… what the fuck? Feel free to insert a few Bobcat Goldthwaite ‘ooh ooooh” interjections in your mind’s ear, where appropriate.
This video is 57 seconds long and you knew by 0:22 where he was going, but he was just so fucking pleased with himself that he dragged it out another 35 just so he could smirk alabially at its brilliant wit and impeccable reasoning before getting to the fucking point, much like how an experienced onanist modulates his self-stimulation in order to draw out the experience and delay the terminal achievement of orgasm.
In fact the real entertainment was the cameraman’s ‘Excellent,” at the end as if his subject had just completed a recital of notable difficulty, for which there was an actual risk of failure, or at the very least he felt required some positive reinforcement as if the subject were a child in need of affirmation after permitting him to perform some strange and confusing act that he can never tell his parents about, because they just wouldn’t understand.
And, ad hominem aside, what pleases him and his audience so much, what he finds so smirkfully witty, is the justification of institutionalized bigotry using a distortion of an ancient myth. This altarboy fucker makes me contemplate the benefits of another Deluge.
On a lighter note, figuratively speaking:
It looks like we’ve found someone more Orange than the new Speaker.
That was excellent, bughunter.
That was excellent, bughunter.
indeed it was…and now I AM going to bed…god this site is addicting…
I suspect that the thought of Muslims among us who cannot be profiled in the Israeli fashion is so unsettling they can’t bring themselves to do anything but
sweep it under the carpet.fap to it.Fiqqst for more Ilsa-She-Wolfishness and more rising gorge, simultaneouslike.
There are not enough Ilsa She wolf analogies in this world in my opinion.
There are not enough Ilsa She wolf analogies in this world in my opinion.
If you ask me, that’s the wrong path to T&U’s heart. As is a rib-spreader.
If you ask me, that’s the wrong path to T&U’s heart. As is a rib-spreader.
You mean it wasn’t the menstruation joke?
Menstruation is inherently funny – unlike testicles – but jokes about it are usually off-color.
Do you know any good testicle jokes N__B?
They were all told millennia ago by Testicles, the nuttiest Greek philosopher, but I’ll give it a shot:
He shoulda had a rooster blocker. You know, to scare the road away by acting like a couple of jerks.
Penis to vagina and back to penis. The cycle is complete.
In economic news, vagina sales are expected to be down this quarter.
http://www.dallasobserver.com/2011-01-27/news/the-super-bowl-prostitute-myth-100-000-hookers-won-t-be-showing-up-in-dallas/#
The circumcision of life.
Bughunter said
…alabially…
Marry me. Now. Gay, Grey, straight, wevs. Call me.
Penis to vagina and back to penis. The cycle is complete.
Memo to self: Do not go on any bicycling holidays with gocart mozart.
that’s the wrong path to T&U’s heart. As is a rib-spreader.
Stealing that.
“Memo to self: Do not go on any bicycling holidays with gocart mozart.”
Ha !
At least by the S,N! timestamp – I’m not up at some godawful hour in the early early morning.
Anyways, sorry to drag this back ON TOPIC. Wev, looks like the alabial rib-spreaders are completed with penis to vagina to penis and have gone to sleep.
Anyways, just wondering a bit more about how this video came to be. Looks like it was shot in some sort of meeting room, probably the one at First Baptist Merced. You know, buncha d00ds sitting round wondering how to Praise God and Protect the Congregation and Build Community – that sort of thing. Just your regular old churchgoers celebrating their Faith. Normal, everyday church business.
Video was uploaded by ProtectMarriageMD, a Political Action Committee. Now I suppose that any expression of a PAC isn’t necessarily political speech, but this video certainly seems in support of ProtectMarriageMD’s goal of preserving the legal definition of marriage as one man and one woman.
I mean it’s not like there’s same-sex legislation making its way through Maryland’s system right now with a public hearing taking place next week. Certainly Pastor Bob Nelson would never dream of using tax exempt religious facilities for the purposes of influencing politics.
BTW, yes First Baptist Merced. Protect Marriage Maryland. d00d is all riled up about folks over 2,000 miles away because they might stop treating gays as second class citizens.
Maybe I shouldn’t be criticizing that, what with being a Canookistani obsessed with American politics. Well, at least my exemption from paying American taxes isn’t dependent on refraining from political activism.
D-KW – It had to be in Maryland. They couldn’t have raised an objection to gay marriage in Diverceland, Abortionland, or (my favorite when I was 10) Playland.
It’s the Mirror Universe Wallace Shawn!
It’s the Mirror Universe Wallace Shawn!
Needs more evil-twin
goatsegoatee.I have nothing to add to the snark, but I wanted to post to vent that this frickin storm has frozen the pipes in my upstairs bathroom. Here’s what I want to know. If the storm allegedly came from the Southwestern US, then why did it come with a North wind? Huh? Explain that Mr. Smartypants Egghead!
If the storm allegedly came from the Southwestern US, then why did it come with a North wind?
The chipotle sauce is imported from Saskatoon.
Explain that Mr. Smartypants Egghead!
Coriolis Force. That storm is a mid-latitude cyclone, which means that the winds travel about it counterclockwise. Therefore, when the eye of the storm (less visible than in a tropical cyclone, but it’s there) passes you moving from west to east as they tend to do in N. Hemisphere mid-latitudes, then the winds come from the North, and are therefore colder. Ahead of the storm, the winds come from the South and are warmer and moister.
Where they collide: tabloid rumors and lawsuits, and occasionally lightning and hail.
paleotectonics, we’d have to move to the outback of Australia.
Or Utah, with a large donation to the CLDS.
Explain that Mr. Smartypants Egghead!
algore is fat.
Some morning thoughts….
1.) I had a dream about DK-W (sort of) last night
2.) The braised short ribs were A-MAZING
3.) Wegmans bakery has a cake called “Louisiana Crunch Cake” that should be a controlled substance
4.) I would give my left boob for a time stamp on this blog I could actually understand
5.) Team Wyatt has taken up some sort of STRENUOUS activity in my tummy…like gymnastics or soccer…or is putting together a band. And he is the drummer.
Bughunter, assuming you aren’t pulling my leg, that is way cool. Thanks.
It doesn’t relieve the stress of frozen pipes, but knowledge is always welcome.
vs,
Not surprising. Most women who have amazing meat in their mouths end up dreaming of me.
Ah, Merced. The heart of California’s SR-99 corridor in the lush Central Valley.
Home to 10 million descendants of Dust Bowl refugees, aka Okies, and a large population of dusky migrant workers and immigrant farmers, many of whom are undocumented. The two groups never mix, even when brought together for a common social event, like my niece’s sweet-sixteen party last weekend in Modesto. Bless her heart, her friends are equal parts black, brown and white, but when she brought them together they separated like oil, water, and mercury.
Rev. Nelson is from California’s equivalent of the Deep South: Pickup trucks, country music, oxycontin, and minds narrow enough to demonstrate the capillary effect.
vs, I think the [FY]WP clock is set to Discordian Standard Time.
I kinda like it.
he reminds me of the freakazoid preacher at a wedding i was at this summer…no lie, this dude
That reminds me of a time I politely agreed to attend a “bible talk” at the house of a preacher up the street who had helped me out a little here and there. I was young, alone and had three kids, he found my wallet once when I had left it the grocery store, then he invited me to his house for Thanksgiving when my kids were at their father’s and I was alone and then I felt obligated to do this bible thing.
I sat in his living room with five other “members” of his congregation of some small distant church somewhere. All these people were women, homely women, most who were not married but divorced or just never married. We sat in stiff Victorian upholstered chairs in the small parlor of his quaint restored Victorian house.
He was handsome, with dark hair, warm eyes and a movie star cut face. He had a thick mustache that made him look something like a Victorian gentleman. He topped to look by wearing freshly pressed wool pants, black leather tie-up oxfords and a crisp pin-striped oxford shirt and a wool vest that matched his pants.
We all sat there, the middle aged woman making small talk and he taking it all in with chivalrous calm and delight. Once we were ready to begin, he put down his wood pipe and opened his large, leather-bound bible and instructing us to find some location in the book of Paul.
Then, for over an hour, I sat through the most boring and strange bible lesson I had ever experienced. Now, being raised Methodist and in a household that demanded obedience to every church law and church related obligation like a soldier, I had thought I’d heard and seen it all. But what came out of that man’s mouth was like nothing else.
He talked for over an hour and a half about the significance of a passage quoting Paul instructing all good Christians to get circumcised.
One hour and a half of him droning endlessly about the symbolic sacrifice made of men to God when a doc shaves off part of their foreskin.
The obedient church ladies nodded in ascension to his profound wisdom and I just stared blankly ahead, wondering at what point I’d be free of this, looking periodically at the crotch of his pants; looking hopefully for the reason why he obsessed about penises in front of women. Did he really want to get laid and this was a fundie message to receiving women? I’d have done him, he wasn’t bad looking and raising three kids on my own didn’t leave much time for any fun, so to say I was willing would have been an understatement.
But even though I seemed to catch his eye many times, in between glancing at his average sized crotch, hidden in dark green wool, he never indicated any inkling of sexual undertone. There just seemed a gleam in his eye that tried to catch you and suck you in, suck into you some kind of blank, surreal world where up was down and in was out.
I returned there a couple more times for a favor or to return a favor over they years. His good looks faded slowly. He always wanted me to attend his church and seemed to enjoy talking to me. Once he opened his back door to me dressed only in his tighty whities and a T-shirt, neatly tucked in his briefs. But what was I to do? Jump him right there? Ask him when he was ready? Wink at him?
It was strange. When he made a comment once that he thought the Jews were annoying him because they always made such a big deal about the holocaust, I never talked to him again.
What I like best about you is your modesty.
What I like best about you is your modesty.
VPR.
Lurking frozen pipes suck.
I could offer you some plumbing advice but the regulars would see a VPR and make pseudofreudian snickers.
You know who pings my gaydar, big-time?
All the male hosts on the shopping channels. ALL. OF. THEM. Also BOTH of Paula Deen’s sons.
Also, gay marriage gave me a sinus infection.
kate, that is a REALLY weird story.
It reminds me of when I was friendly with this one chick where I used to work before I got married. She invited me to watch her sing in her chorus for her church. I said “ok,” even though holy water bubbles in protest when I enter those sorts of places. Anyway, she belonged to one of those roll-on-the-ground churches, where you get hit on the forehead and stuff. I was…mortified and frightened. I could not get out of there fast enough. Horrible.
Rev. Nelson is from California’s equivalent of the Deep South: Pickup trucks, country music, oxycontin, and minds narrow enough to demonstrate the capillary effect.
You forgot crank.
Anyway, she belonged to one of those roll-on-the-ground churches, where you get hit on the forehead and stuff.
Like this?
It’s a really scary day out there (details at my blog, and that’s not even counting the ice storm up here), so thanks for the laugh, TinTin…
Bob Nelson is not a closeted queen. He’s a Full Nelson.
You forgot crank.
Sorry, I’ll stop at the crank store on the way home tonite.
I WISH there had been lightsabers!
Sorry, I’ll stop at the crank store on the way home tonite.
Now, is that Ye Crank Shoppe, The Crankery, or Crank-S-Us?
Thanks for deining to read my missive there vs, yes it was weird and I would have done him I really would have, just to see his eyes pop in out of control orgasmic, sinful pleasure.
But I never had the pleasure and he’s the only holy roller preacher I’ve ever met that didn’t look like some creepy pedophile or a maladjusted closet queer.
Anyway, she belonged to one of those roll-on-the-ground churches, where you get hit on the forehead and stuff.
I went to one of those as a child. I think that kids enjoy them much more than those sit-quietly-in-your-pew churches, because you can run around and yell and dance and go nuts. You shouldn’t overdo it though, because then you might find yourself pinned under a fat, sweaty, middle-aged preacher for an exorcism.
They all do look like that, don’t they?
Btw, Ted Haggard’s wife is still in denial.
” You shouldn’t overdo it though, because then you might find yourself pinned under a fat, sweaty, middle-aged preacher for an exorcism.”
Right. “Exorcism”
Right. “Exorcism”
Well, it does include vomiting…
There just seemed a gleam in his eye that tried to catch you and suck you in, suck into you some kind of blank, surreal world where up was down and in was out
ewww…i think he was practicing for some sort of national or global stage, where he could mesmerize millions with his own special blend of charisma and intellect. apparently he missed his casting call…
seriously tho, that experience alone would have put me off religion forever…
because then you might find yourself pinned under a fat, sweaty, middle-aged preacher
Sounds wayyy too much like the greco-roman wrestling rotation in sixth-grade Phys Ed. No thanks.
I found college much more my speed, where I could get pinned under a hot, sweaty coed, or on one occasion, two drunk faux-bizexual ones.
All the male hosts on the shopping channels. ALL. OF. THEM. Also BOTH of Paula Deen’s sons.
there is something very wrong in that household…
also, in fairness to gay marriage, i think paula deen’s VOICE gave you a sinus infection…i know hearing it makes mine hurt like hell…
I’ve got nothing against the Deens, though as a southern girl, I feel her Paula’s accent is a bit of a put-on. Her sons seem a bit closety to me, though…
okay…a couple of things–after watching pastor bob again, i heard him say to call the folks who make the $20s to see if they are legal? really? call the us mint? “um yeah…i have this twenty dollar bill and i want to know if it’s real or not. yeah, it’s got a picture of andrew jackson on it?
also, has anyone watched chaplain wade who comes on right after pastor bob? whoo boy! i hope he has his shit more together than that on a sunday!
I’ve got nothing against the Deens
Except that they should stop spelling their name like fucking rednecks.
OT: Who knows how to best properly prepare and serve crow?
Cuz I seem to recall defending Nick Cage’s acting and movie choices a few months back. And after having just watched Conan O’ Brien rip his roles to shred on his show, I am ready to take back everything I said. When I’m wrong, I’m wrong.
Who knows how to best properly prepare and serve crow?
paula deen…lotsa butter, y’all. i wouldn’t ask bobby flay…he would just put some spicy spices on it and throw it on the grill…oooh! he would have a ‘crow’ down! see what i did there?
Cuz I seem to recall defending Nick Cage’s acting and movie choices a few months back.
Eat it raw! Raw! Raw! Raw!
*sigh* I guess I gotta give this guy the Ozzy Osbourne treatment.
You can call the US Treasury to verify currency. They are friendly and helpful. Preventing counterfeiting is one of those government services Ron Paul wants to eliminate. (3X score for double gerund)
You can call the US Treasury to verify currency. They are friendly and helpful.
For the first few hundred asshats who listen to this shmuck, yes.
Boston Crow Pie?
As a Sox fan I have some familiarity with this.
Sorry, I’ll stop at the crank store on the way home tonite.
Haven’t you heard? Bikers now deliver, free of charge.
Nothin’ much to add right now, except honest-to-gosh commiseratiion with the Sadlies enduring avalanches from the sky, treacherous ice-storms, and bitter cold. I hope your multiple sieges end soon!
(Baltimore-DC have been mostly spared so far. But February is mos def our Cruelest Month. Of Baltimore’s five worst winter storms (per NWS data), four happened in February. I fucking hate the winter.)
But February is mos def our Cruelest Month.
That’s the scary bit for us up here in NYC. The worst storm we ever had was in March, and I know for a fact I’ve lived thru a few multiple-foot snowstorms around Valentine’s Day.
So it seems we also were spared here in LEAFS SUCK. Overnight accumulation was only about 10 to 15 cm and it’s currently a balmy -9 Celsius. There are threats of waves of snow later today, but it appears to be average for a snow storm.
There are threats of waves of snow
Clouds can speak in Canuckistan? Or do they send threatening telegrams?
You can threaten clouds back
Well, it’s bright and sunny here, but we’re under about twenty inches of snow right now. My car’s basically buried because there was pretty strong wind and crazy snowdrifts. I *think* we should be able to dig our way out in time for work tomorrow, but I’m not holding my breath. Luckily, it’s supposed to get up to almost 40 (what the FUCK?) this weekend.
I think I’ve figured out Pastor Bob’s problem. Apparently his marriage is costing him $20 an hour. Also explains why the lady looks so happy when he holds up the money.
Clouds can speak in Canuckistan?
They send letters to the Toronto Star.
Apparently his marriage is costing him $20 an hour.
Paid in quarters, most likely.
Paid in quarters, most likely.
He’s married to DK-W’s mom?
Well anyways, Snowmageddon turned out to be pretty much *meh*.
Snowmageddon turned out to be pretty much *meh*
Please keep up. It’s “Snowly Shit!” this year.
He’s married to DK-W’s mom?
You’ve seen the video, who else would have him?
You guys. My mom wouldn’t do Pastor Bob, she doesn’t have the right equipmen,,, I mean YOUR MOM’S THE WHORE!
My mom wouldn’t do Pastor Bob, she doesn’t have the right equipmen[t]
Yea.
Like that’s ever stopped her before…
“Author of God” (I’m so stealing this now) owns marriage and He (and it is always a He) happens to agree with whatever bigoted notion the pastor believes in just at the time when the governing authority (i.e. the same backing authority in his money exam
“You can tell you’ve created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do” – Anne Lamott
One of the best quotes I’ve ever seen in a sig was attributed to Ms. Lamott:
“You can get the monkey off your back but the circus never leaves town.” –Anne Lamott
You can threaten clouds back
After last night’s storm, I want to do more than threaten them.
Well anyways, Snowmageddon turned out to be pretty much *meh*.
I will expect you in a couple of hours to help shovel the five foot drifts from our yard and driveway then? Thank you for volunteering.
Dress for wind chill.
Give them a nom.
OT: I am currently working on a commish for one of your fellow ‘Naut-y Boyz. Who wants to volunteer to paint the hair for me later? COME ON!
I will expect you in a couple of hours to help shovel the five foot drifts from our yard and driveway then? Thank you for volunteering.
No problem. I’ll start shovelling right after I finish with your mom. Because that’s the only way I’ll get out from under all that flab.
Wind chill in LEAFS SUCK takes the temp down to 0F. It’s practically spring out there.
No problem. I’ll start shovelling right after I finish with your mom. Because that’s the only way I’ll get out from under all that flab.
I am pretty certain she’s not zombie.
Zombies stay lean, ‘cuz, as I said before, branes are PURE PROTEIN.
“I am pretty certain she’s not zombie”
It’s the enthusiasm she displays when eating the meat that gives her away.
It’s the enthusiasm she displays when eating the meat that gives her away.
INTEREST!
Website? Newsletter?
All this weather y’all are getting has sucked balmy Gulf air over us on the outskirts of the Okefenokee. 23C and humid, nearly sultry. Camelias. Tazettas.
Well it could be worse. Pastor Bob approves, I’m sure.
I see that NE Australia had a cyclone hit. Like they really need more rain there right now.
So I’m listening to Majority Report now…and apparently there may be a story about John Boner having an affair about to drop. Normally I wouldn’t give a shit. But the Repukes are so hypocritical about this stuff…
Anyway, I’m anxiously awaiting the teary press conference where he confesses all.
Interest. Website.Newsletter.
More Anne Lamotte wisdom:
“Forgiveness is giving up all hope of having had a better past.”
“I thought such awful thoughts that I cannot even say them out loud because they would make Jesus want to drink gin straight out of the cat dish.”
“A good marriage is where both people feel like they’re getting the better end of the deal.”
“The opposite of faith is not doubt, it’s certainty.”
Also not so veiled buttseks reference.
Interest
Website
Newsletter
Tee hee!
apparently there may be a story about John Boner having an affair about to drop
Please please say it’s with a drunken gay elephant…
Also not so veiled buttseks reference.
Probably a hat tip to Jon Cryer.
It would almost have to be. That being said, I don’t think you should refer to DK-W’s mom as an elephant.
I don’t think you should refer to DK-W’s mom as an elephant.
You ever see her kneecaps?
and apparently there may be a story about John Boner having an affair about to drop.
EW. No interest, keep any websites and newsletters to yourself.
Oh please, tigris. You know that once you go orange you never go…
I got nothin’.
IS there anything what rhymes with “orange”?
IS there anything what rhymes with “orange”?
Nothing that wouldn’t make you cringe.
and apparently there may be a story about John Boner having an affair about to drop.
Ooooh! I’d seen that around for a while, but didn’t think anything would come from it.
And now I just had the most horrifying thought that I will not share. Excuse me, I’m going to go bleach my brain now.
Tears, sweet sweet tears.
If I ever develop an orange fetish I’d rather yiff Chester Cheetah.
And now I just had the most horrifying thought that I will not share.
You had the chocolate sauce and ball gag image too????
If I ever develop an orange fetish I’d rather yiff Chester Cheetah.
I hate you for being so clever.
You had the chocolate sauce and ball gag image too????
And I hate you for being a sick bastard.
And I hate you for being a sick bastard.
*whew*
I’m glad I left the “Eric Cantor in the gimp outfit” out.
That’s the scary bit for us up here in NYC.
Baltimore-DC weather is sorta strange and our weather patterns are somewhat different than much of the East Coast north of here. For example, two of the massive snow dumps that NYC had minimal effect here. (The huge snowfalls were Philly and northward.) Conversely, Baltimore-DC region will sometimes be shellacked, with minimal effects to the north.
Our regional winter weather is also dissimilar to the South’s (using Richmond as a convenient marker). The easiest description of our winters: Pennsylvania gets snow, Virginia gets rain, and we get Weird Stuff as the transition zone. When the ground temperature & air temperature combination is right, we sometimes have utterly paralysing ice storms.
I’ve lived through winters in the lower Plains, Midwest, New England, and near Buffalo (lake effects: Yay.) So that’s were my commiseration comes from. Plus I hate winter. Also FYWP.
Meteorology thread kill?
I think Chris and Arky in DC could bear this out.
If I ever develop an orange fetish I’d rather yiff Chester Cheetah.
once you go Oompa Loompa, you never go…
Well, that’s a hard one also.
I’m glad I left the “Eric Cantor in the gimp outfit” out.
11:30’s late enough to start drinking, right? Turpentine, I mean.
once you go Oompa Loompa, you never go…
Once you go George Hamilton, you never…
Um, hmmm…this is tough.
No gay elephant has ever been that drunk, although I know who has.
Once you go burnt sienna, you never go…
Damn, this *is* hard.
Once you go burnt sienna, you never go…
…sausage vienna?
Damn, this *is* hard.
seems like an unfortunate choice of phrasing, what with Wangchuck lurking….
seems like an unfortunate choice of phrasing, what with Wangchuck lurking….
Actor, it looks as if some young upstart is trying to unseat you from your position of Resident Perv.
and apparently there may be a story about John Boner having an affair about to drop
Two things:
One, I don’t believe it for a second. Bohner is teh gay. Come on: habitual abuse of self-tanning products, lavender ties, republican senator? All the signs are there. This story is just the GOP equivalent of a hollywood marriage.
Two, vs, does it help if I suggest you imagine Mr. Speaker hung like a cheeto?
(Fried, of course.)
Who wants to volunteer to paint the hair for me later? COME ON!
You paint hair wonderfully well. Or are you now going all Renaissance on us, with a studio and apprentices? Are you establishing the Spencer School?
((Also, scurry over to VS’s place It’s nice to give some her some hits–don’t twist this!–and some love.))
Two, vs, does it help if I suggest you imagine Mr. Speaker hung like a cheeto?
(Fried, of course.)
I thought that was Schwarzenegger.
I think Chris and Arky in DC could bear this out.
Yes We Can. Although, I’ve never lived anywhere other than DC (in the United States), so I can’t compare it as well as you can. But “weird” is a good and succinct way to put it.
Once you go salmon you’re really one sick fuck, let me tell ya.
Variants, I would LOVE to delegate some of my tasks, believe me. Coulda used an intern to use and abuse just a bit ago…
And, bughunter, the less I think about Boner’s boners the better it is for my mental health.
Before ah die, Imma fuck me a fish.
Here’s one:
Once you go zombie
You can’t help but nommy
Have you settled on Wyatt? That’s very nice. And it can’t be cut down or reduced to a diminuative. (That’s even more problematic with girl bebes.)
Maybe ‘Dudeskull’ as an infant endearment? (Infant craniums need careful support, after all….)
Once you go orange toner, your only option is John Boehner.
DK-W is now performing dangerous scientific experiments to transform himself into a merman.
Once you go orange toner, your only option is John Boehner
WIN!
IVE settled on it, Variants. Hubby is 90% behind Liam however.
Once you go melon
Your hoohah starts smellin’
Once you go Cheeto, you’ll need a Mojito.
Ewww
And
HA!
Actor, it looks as if some young upstart is trying to unseat you from your position of Resident Perv.
I sometimes wonder if there needs to be one at all….
Once you go spray tan
your life’s is in the shit can.
IVE settled on it, Variants. Hubby is 90% behind Liam however.
I like Liam, but I know a few people who have Liams, and I know it was important to you for him not to have the same name as a lot of other kids, so…
I know it was important to you for him not to have the same name as a lot of other kids, so…
…..Dudeskull!
Pedestrian: Great photo. I did a sci-fi riff in my imagination. The skin and especially the eyes are spectacular. (Others: @19:02)
Fuck, there are no words that rhyme with “bronzer.”
Yes, I worry it’s growing in popularity too. I wish hubby were open to more names. He pretty much only likes 3 currently.
He likes Dudeskull better than many of MY suggestions. Lol
IVE settled on it, Variants. Hubby is 90% behind Liam however.
So, a compromise. Liatt. Or perhaps the more philosophical Wyam.
First, I’m not lurking. I’m trying to get work done. Sure it’s a snow day and I’m working from my dining room table – odd, my productivity seems a lot higher when I’m out of office.
Second, while I may be fixated on your mom I doubt that I’ll ever really challenge actor for pervitude. I can only hope to be second skankiest.
Third, damn you fish.
Fourth, ???
Fifth, profit.
Finally,
Once you go Wangchuck,
You’re probably someone’s mom.
I like Liam, but I know a few people who have Liams, and I know it was important to you for him not to have the same name as a lot of other kids, so…
I agree!
I enjoy playing around with names in my writing. Wyatt Spencer is a great name, fit for a protagonist.
My mom wouldn’t do Pastor Bob, she doesn’t have the right equipmen[t]
Surely a pillow would suffice. Can’t she improvise?
VS, what about Owen? I like Ewen, too, but there’s the whole “ewe” thing.
Imma name my kid “Floyd”.
Once you go Wangchuck,
You’re probably someone’s mom.
Win.
The sad truth is that I can’t be arsed
Looking for words to rhyme with “brassed”.
Off to Egypt again. This thread has been fun to read. (May it also be therapeutic for snow-bound cabin fever….)
Owen IS nice.
And he’ll have a cousin named Cohen.
Owen IS nice.
For trendy Celticness, spell it Eoin.
Ruairidh.
Owen IS nice.
Yeah, I think it has that sort of literate/old-fashiony/Anglo edge without being a) ugly, and b) all that popular. And for some reason, I seem to be drawn to boys’ names that start with vowels. Or are kinda girly.
I like Oscar, too, but that doesn’t sound very good with your last name.
Wyatt’s super-cute, though. And very American-sounding. In a good way.
Speaking of distinctive protagonist names: Is anyone familiar with Thursday Next (Jasper Fforde)?
Owen IS nice.
Yeah, I think it has that sort of literate/old-fashiony/Anglo edge
Memo to self: Do not describe “Owen” as an Anglo name within the hearing of drunken Welsh people (but I repeat myself).
I think the real reason John Boehner is Krylon Safety orange is that the credulous twerp overdid it on the colloidal silver years ago and if he lets the paintjob slip, he’ll be the first Smurf in the house of representatives.
Do not describe “Owen” as an Anglo name within the hearing of drunken Welsh people (but I repeat myself).
God, they’re so sensitive. You’d think that they’d been historically oppressed and put into special schools where they were punished for speaking their own language or something.
And, yeah, “anglo” was a bad choice of words. Sorry, drunken Welshpeople!
Navel gazing.
Both Owen and Wyatt are in the top 100 most popular boys names.
Wyatt’s super-cute
Disagree. It’s a manly dude’s name. Echoes the frontier and a strong, self-reliant personality…AND an artistic sensibility (echoes Wyeth).
Wyatt Spencer works for a noir detective … a Western marshall … a painter (or other creative occupation–actor, musician) … a spy … a scientist. It’s a great name, VS.
(And if he wants to be a professional rassler or a heavy-metal guitarist, he can use Dudeskull.)
This place is so addictive. I’ve gotta show some restraint and bail for Egypt.
I know a young Eoin, me must be about 7. I always try and sell him a consonant.
I know a Wyatt too. Dunno what kind of a role model he is but he can sure play the guitar.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bi3pKqqlcVI
Most of this cut is Danny chewing the scenery but it was the best WR I could find quickly. Guitar lead at 0:56.
The plows and sidewalk clearing thingy went by a few minutes ago. Right on cue, the snow has starting to come down like mad.
Actually NOT a Western marshall. The influences would be too much for the genre: Wyatt Earp … Spencer rifle.
But works great for the Great Lover in a romance novel.
And if you name him Wyatt, he will probably be “Wyatt Burp” for the first 5-6 years of his life.
Both Owen and Wyatt are in the top 100 most popular boys names.
Damn, I didn’t realize Owen was there.
Abraham?
The “WHY WHY WHY” stage should go great.
bliz-aster ‘oh11 strikes!!>!!!<!!!
damn my arms are tired.
I agree Wyatt is a great manly name.
I think the only name we agree on outside the top 100 is Wesley. But I worry it’s too…effete…or foppish…or just and excuse to pay homage to westley from Princess Bride.
Come on: habitual abuse of self-tanning products, lavender ties, republican senator?
GASP!
He’s the JOKER!!!!!!!
God, they’re so sensitive. You’d think that they’d been historically oppressed
I love the story about how Edward promised the Welsh people a prince who was born in Wales and couldn’t speak English and they were like, alright, we’ll submit, but then it turned out to be his infant son and they were pwned.
I know it isn’t true, but it makes me chuckle, in the way that imagined stupid people often do.
Actor, it looks as if some young upstart is trying to unseat you from your position of Resident Perv.
I don’t care who he is, or what dark alley he’s dropped his trousers in…
Arakasi: Hadn’t occurred to me. Say, were you mean on the playground?
Wyatt Spencer works for a noir detective
Or a Tom of Finland film!
Edward promised the Welsh people a prince
Outstanding strategist, cunning wielder of power, magnificent castle-builder … and major asshole.
Weird. Those are every last one of the names we chose. EVERY LAST ONE. Aidan,Ethan and Ian. We’ve ditched the first two cuz they’re so popular.
we named our daughter aidan
My nephew had twins–a boy and a girl. They chose Aidan and Nadia — reversed spellings. Both are nice names, and they’re clever together. (Like the kids….)
Imma name my kid “Floyd”.
funny…we watched a bit of a biography about pink floyd last night. i had no idea that they were originally ‘the floyd.’
but you might want to think about creepy barber references before you name your tyke that…
I know a Wyatt too
as do i…and i would refer to him as quiet wyatt…needless to say, i found it funnier than he…
Weird. Those are every last one of the names we chose. EVERY LAST ONE. Aidan,Ethan and Ian. We’ve ditched the first two cuz they’re so popular
pick ian, pick ian, pick ian! then i can live vicariously through you…
Russell. Oliver. Bowen.
Or cripple the kid with a literary pun: Edmund.
pick ian, pick ian, pick ian! then i can live vicariously through you…
not in a creepy, stalkerish way, though…
Or use a Biblical name: Iscariot. … Pontius Pilate … Nebechadnezzar … Ramses. Which reminds me. I really MUST get to Egypt now.
i would refer to him as quiet wyatt
maybe you need to wefer to him.
Ramses
If I’m going to name my kid after a condom, I want one that won’t break.
For I am Welsh, you know, good my countryman.
would be akin to treating every dollar being spent by a black person as 75 cents.
60 cents. It’s right there in the Constitution.
I wasn’t mean on the playground. I had a mom who taught in the same school that I went to, so I heard every single insulting variation on my name possible. It’s left me a little sensitive to the possibilities
I am aware of Thursday Next but haven’t read the Fforde books.
Commiserations on all the bad weather folks, I guess you should have voted for McCain.
I think our Summer has died in the arse, just sort of ran out of good weather about 2 weeks ago. Gay Patriot has advised us that some of the Himalayan Glaciers are not melting and it is apparently Al Gore’s fault and therefore I know nothing about the weather. I guess that is why he did not allow my comment.
I’m now weading this in Peter Cook’s Pwincess Bwide voice.
Well, if it’s not in a creepy, stalkerish way, I’m not interested.
vs, if you’re still looking for a good, unique name, try here. While name-appropriate words are kinda sparse, there are some good candidates, like Guerdon, Maffick and even Kip. (And besides, it’s a fun page, anyway, for the kind of intellectyool eeleetists that frequent these parts.)
My wife wanted to name our son Ethan, and I agreed, finding it unique because I personally knew very few Ethans.
HA! Was I surprised the next time I saw a top 10 baby name list. I now regret not doing more research myself.
Gak!! Mr. Patriot did print ma comment. I’m so proud.
VS what about Marxn Spenser
Kim-Gwenn Performers
Envoy Carlee
Watishprouw Herder
VizMarie Inequity-Schematically
Aprons Doyx
Diamondcocr Congratulations
Clocrshirip Heeb
Sickroom-Smooth
Lundberg Allyson
Dorothea
Cakljuwo
Cestouwkow
Commandment Redeclaring
Collen
Vesta Fader-Newscast
Nga
lozwishers Seep
But Naivete-Slurring
Carita-Leo Mariano
Vuplruthe Pi
Sen Magdalen
I’m now weading this in Peter Cook’s Pwincess Bwide voice.
“MAWWIAGE! Mawwiage…is what bwings us togewer today…”
(see also: Biggus Dickus)
Well, if it’s not in a creepy, stalkerish way, I’m not interested
i was only saying that to be polite…
(see also: Biggus Dickus)
i was wondering when we would come to this…
Or cripple the kid with a literary pun: Edmund.
You could go more Hollywood with Tracy Spencer.
VS what about Marxn Spenser
Marx N. Spenser
[short for Nemo]
Mark Syn Spenser.
I would advise the lad not to join the Police force, because with his surname you know he’s never going to rise to the rank of Detective-Inspector.
I would advise the lad not to join the Police force
but could he join the Police? cuz marxyn spenser is a pretty good rock name…
because with his surname you know he’s never going to rise to the rank of Detective-Inspector.
Spenser, no higher?
I had to. I had no choice.
Anyway, she belonged to one of those roll-on-the-ground churches, where you get hit on the forehead and stuff.
My niece went to one of those churches were you testify your evil behavior before finding the lord. Her impression was that they just made stuff up
I am tested Oh Lord
Oh look uncluttered. A man can stretch out and knit tea cosies here.
OMG GLENN BECK IS RIGHT the Kiwis really are taking over everything!
Well I don’t know, my mum is pretty busy at the moment so she can’t do it and Uncle Glynopphion can’t even control his own pooping so I’m not sure if we can get enough people to control the world.
That took me a good three minutes to understand. I have such an awesome life.
You may have to draft the livestock; there’s about 80 sheep to each person, right?
Suffering from a over abundance of snow T+U?
The relationship with the sheep should not be cheapened by politics, tigris.
Suffering from a over abundance of snow T+U?
Yes, and an underabundance of enthusiasm for getting off my ass and going out.
First of all, that’s not the network’s theory. That’s not Fox’s theory. That’s my theory. My theory.
It is about the elk.
A *Mad Cow disease* survivor?