I Triple Dog Dare You To Get Out Of The Boat


ABOVE: A speculative rendering of Robin of Berkeley based on a forensic analysis
of her blog posts.

Shorter Robin of Bezerkley, A Licensed Psychotherapist, The American Thinker
Stanley Ann Dunham and the Left’s Exploitation of Women

  • The reason why we are saddled with a Communist mulatto as President is that Obama’s mother had a funny first name, which made her susceptible to Communist brainwashing, which is why she had sex with a Negro and gave birth to the Communist mulatto who later became our President.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™


 

Comments: 382

 
 
 

mmmmmmm, new thread smell.

 
 

This seems like a good thing to base wild accusations upon.

There’s conjecture that Stanley Ann was raised in a radical family with Communist leanings.

Bolded by moi.

 
 

which is why she had sex with a Negro

And it could have been ANY negro!

 
 

Trivial explanations for complex ideas and mindless contrarianism? Guys, I think Robin is Bobo’s sister!

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Fuck you and your triple dog dare, Tintin.

That was like looking into goatse guy’s butthole and seeing your own soul reflected back at you.

 
Prudence Goodwife
 

” Of course, Obama demonstrated no warmth towards his grandmother whom he dismissed as a “typical white person.”

I remember when she died and Obama went to Hawaii to spit on her grave. It was in all the papers,right?

 
 

Perhaps someday, someone with Chang’s courage (and the resources for personal bodyguards) will write a similar-type book about the Left’s abominable treatment of its women. The narrative should include Diana Oughton, a once ebullient and lively woman who morphed into an emaciated zombie after she joined the Weather Underground.

The zombie outbreak explained!

 
 

My goddamn tongue is stuck to Robin’s frozen brains o’ crazy.

Damn your eyes for triple dog daring me.

Seriously, Barry is a pinko because a school board member was a pinko!

 
 

Shorter Robyn: I just pull a bunch of rumors out of my ass and hope to scare you with them. And if I can throw in charges of pedophilia and alcoholism–WOO-HOO!!!!!!!!!

But even more disturbing is the prospect of Frank Marshall Davis being Obama’s father. Davis was decades older than Stanley Ann, and a purported pedophile.

 
 

Not only did Barry’s mom have a weird name, Robin is also very concerned that she was raised on COMMUNIST Mercer island, WA!

 
 

That was like looking into goatse guy’s butthole and seeing your own soul reflected back at you.

And you know this how?

 
 

pedophilia

What’s wrong with a love of feet?

 
 

emaciated zombie

Jesus, what does she want? Branes are pure protein. It’s like being on Atkins!

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

“Of course, Obama demonstrated no warmth towards his grandmother whom he dismissed as a ‘typical white person.'”

Not only is she diagnosing Obama and his family without actually ever talking to them, it’s also apparent that she hasn’t even *read* Dreams of My Father.

 
 

Ya know, for a psychotherapist, trained to render conclusions upon the compilation of a large base of impressions and discussions, she does a fuck of a lot of

– I can’t tell for sure, but it is imperative to investigate

There is no. fucking. way. this idiot is a licensed psyther in any organization that has an inkling of a hint of a process of ethics training.

Got outta the boat, so there, Tintin. And by god I am less of a person for it (tiger got my leg).

Best part, the poster encouraging young women to nail draft dodgers. Ok, yeah sex, etc. But the other minor drive of draft dodgers? NOT BEING FUCKING SHOT AT.

 
 

I also didn’t know that 60’s radicals gang raped women before throwing their babies up in the air and spearing them with bayonets.

Your forensic photo reconstruction is way off. That woman appears way more lucid than the author of those rotted, moldy mangoes.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

And you know this how?

I um…uh, I just imagine that’s what it would be like, you know?

 
 

If you stare into the goatse long enough it stares back.

Also FYWP

 
 

And you know this how?

I am hoping for some credit here.

 
 

Of course, the truth about Obama’s past is shrouded in secrecy.

Not for me; birthplace, name and background of parents, name of birth hospital, places of residence, name of schools, high school and colleges, and much, much, more.

Many Bothans died to bring me this information, of course.

 
 

I also didn’t know that 60?s radicals gang raped women before throwing their [i]homosexual[/i] babbys up in the air and spearing them with bayonets.

FIXT!

 
 

I am hoping for some credit here.

I believe your goatse promotion is a debit, St-Peter-wise.

 
 

Perhaps someday, someone with Chang’s courage (and the resources for personal bodyguards) will write a similar-type book about the Left’s abominable treatment of its women.

In contrast to the other side, Ms. Beserkely, at least we have FREE RANGE™ WOMEN.

 
 

@tantan:

Pretty sure Josef Stalin was born on Mercer Island. Or maybe it was Lavrentiy Beria.

Purportedly.

 
 

So Tintin, are you calling me on my promises in exchange for a new thread? What’ll it be- potato donuts, beignets, crullers, blow job?

 
 

OT: I still have not seen the goatse guy. Butt I have seen all those guys that one of the S,N overlords linked to on that Christian cult board that Anon attacked. I’ll never REALLY get that out of my head.

 
 

In contrast to the other side, Ms. Beserkely, at least we have FREE RANGE™ WOMEN.

I am also organic and Halal. But not vegan.

 
 

vs – Goatse bad, berry berry bad.
You will not find the droids you are looking for in there.

 
 

vs – Goatse bad, berry berry bad.
You will not find the droids you are looking for in there.

Neither are you in Kansas anymore.

 
 

vs – Goatse bad, berry berry bad.
You will not find the droids you are looking for in there.

What about my keys? Or that one sock?

 
 

Pupienus Maximus said,
January 29, 2011 at 19:38 · Edit

So Tintin, are you calling me on my promises in exchange for a new thread? What’ll it be- potato donuts, beignets, crullers, blow job?

Can I have crullers and a blow job?

 
 

Can I have crullers and a blow job?

MULTIMEDIA EXPERIENCE!

 
 

Anal sock-puppet?

(I may have just invented the greatest band name ever! Your welcome!)

 
 

OK I took the dare and now i am having hallucinations and want to hide under my bed. To think that sickly yello envelope containing my invitation to join up with uncle sugars mighty green machine kept me from getting all that lefty girl action..damn you draft board…must find a way to thank robyn for the flashback.

 
 

Pupienus Maximus said,
January 29, 2011 at 19:38 · Edit

So Tintin, are you calling me on my promises in exchange for a new thread? What’ll it be- potato donuts, beignets, crullers, blow job?

Can I have crullers and a blow job?

Website? Pamphlet? Subscription?

 
 

Oh God VS, now you’ve done it.

 
 

lefty girl action

What about right-handed girls?

 
 

the Left’s abominable treatment of its women

They weren’t “its women” — that was sort of the point of the entire freakin’ womens lib effort.

While it is in fact true that there were in the 1960s many male assholes who viewed women as objects and thus not full members of the revolutionary movement, it is rare to see someone complaining about this while actively endorsing the language. Maybe she didn’t notice. Sheesh.

 
 

Oh God VS, now you’ve done it.

I BLAME T&U!!!!

 
 

Up next: goatse meets the human centipede.

 
 

Always. Trust. The. Shorter.

I lost twelve IQ points reading that.

 
 

I thought goats ate centipedes.

 
 

“Of course, Obama demonstrated no warmth towards his grandmother whom he dismissed as a ‘typical white person.’”

For white people of her generation, racism, including towards relatives who’d married on the wrong side of the tracks sometimes, was typical. Not universal, but very, very widespread. If it wasn’t, then the America of her days wouldn’t have been segregated. I hope I’m not going too fast for you.

Sorry if that cuts into your “I don’t remember it being that bad” historical fantasy. It’s a fact. Deal with it.

 
 

I quintuple dog dare you to try to get me out of the boat. Back the fuck off. I’ll cut you. I’ll fucking cut you.

 
 

There is conjecture that Robyn’s mother was in fact not a woman but transsexual Nazi Communist capybara who probably was a terrorist sympathizer. There are rumors that her father liked to huff paint and molest many of the wild animals of South America, including the capybara, which is most likely how Robyn came to be. Both her parents were purported to assholes of goatse-like proportions, which is why she’s a syphilitic lush. We can’t be sure all this is true, but investigation is warranted.

 
 

Now that I think about it, what happens when a chupacabra meets goatse?

 
 

You think about that? You’re weird.

 
 

Arky you win the internets for this thread!

 
 

I don’t think her imagination is florid enough myself. This story needs more rape.

 
 

Triple do dare, eh? Well, there’s no way I can resist a triple dog daYYAAAAAAAAHHHHH THE STUPID IT BUURRRRNS

 
 

I don’t think her imagination is florid enough

First your imagination is florid.

Then it pants when going up stairs.

Next thing you know, it’s got gout.

 
 

I am proud that I have not stepped out of the boat in two weeks….and I’m not about to do so now: I am–at least on some level–a rational person. I’m quite content to hear the accounts of those brave souls have gone ashore. Now I’ll get caught up the thread. Looking forward to it!

 
 

But Robin is a man’s name. And a bird’s name. No wonder this poor woman writes such drivel. She can’t decide if she’s a man, a bird, or some third thing.

 
 

When a chupacabra meets a goatse
What happens depends on who’s twee
Should the vicious beast have horns, you see
D-KW’s mom will be in the midst of the action.

 
 

But Robin is a man’s name. And a bird’s name.

And an underage sidekick.

 
 

Have a care there, Sadly Nauts, you insult the good name and integrity of the winner of the Conservative Diva (totally not hijacked) voting competition thing. R of B has credentials or brain placques as the medico comsymps prefer to call them.
Also, not getting out of boat, you can’t make me, I got rights….

 
moderately good looking not so hunchback
 

Reader Advisory: Sexual Content

YOU LIE!!!!!!

 
 

I also didn’t know that 60?s radicals gang raped women before throwing their babies up in the air and spearing them with bayonets.

It was fun, wasn’t it? But we were young and silly and worshipped Satan.

 
 

I am strong. I can handle it. Here we go
.
.
.
*shaking and gasping*

Here’s the money quote

  Many of these women were Leftists who turned conservative because of harrowing experiences in radical movements. 

Was Stanley Ann Dunham one of them;  was she a brainwashed victim of a Communist upbringing?   Or was she simply an independent thinker,  who willingly and happily forged her life’s path?

I just…I don’t….I can’t even.

 
 

Pretty sure Josef Stalin was born on Mercer Island.

Know who ELSE was born there?

 
 

Robin is just bitter because her white ass is the shittiest participant in the dozens of all time.

“Yo Mama’s name is so funny, she gave you a funny name. Also she slept with a black man. I WENT THERE.”

*looks around, grinning expectantly at a crowd too bewildered to be offended*

 
 

OF ALL TIME.

 
 

[Was] she a brainwashed victim of a Communist upbringing?

Was she a brane-chewed victim of a zombie uprising?

Was she an innocent victim who got out of the boat?

Was she a banana split drizzled in hot chocolate sauce?

We propose. You decide.

 
 

Wow… i especially her paragraph on the rape of Nanking:

“When I think of the Left’s sordid history, I recall another time and place, and another woman who stumbled upon a heavily concealed secret. Her name was Iris Chang, and she exposed an even more iniquitous period, the Rape of Nanking. In her landmark book, Chang revealed the mass violation of Chinese women by the invading Japanese troops during World War II.

Tragically, hearing the horrific details, and receiving death threats, proved too much for Iris Chang. She suicided a few years after the book’s release.

Perhaps someday, someone with Chang’s courage (and the resources for personal bodyguards) will write a similar-type book about the Left’s abominable treatment of its women.”

Lol? How does one even come up with these ideas?

 
 

suicided

As in ‘I suicide’ … ‘you suicide’ … ‘he / she / it suicides’.

It’s fun to invent words!

 
 

It’s fun to invent words!

I refudiate that assumpscone.

 
 

Unlike irascable people here, I ain’t givin’ you no grief, Tintin. Mainly because I never, ever get out of the boat. i have learned to always trust the Shorter. And, therefore, I never need Brane Bleach.

So get off Tintin’s case! You were gullible and foolhardy to step over the gunwale. Deal with it.

(Plus, can’t you show some gratitude for nice, shiny new thread?)

 
 

Triple dog dare, eh?

OWWWW!!! MY FUCKING EYES/BRAIN!!!

You bastard.

 
 

Got. out. of. the. boat…feel as though I’ve just played in the Superbowl.

 
 

If the left has a “sordid history,” the right has…what’s infinitely worse than sordid?

 
 

I repellatize your refudiation.

 
 

what’s infinitely worse than sordid?

Chupacabra goatse.

 
 

I think this Robin chick is kinda hot and dresses well.

 
 

“(Plus, can’t you show some gratitude for nice, shiny new thread?)”

AHEM!

 
 

While we can’t know what horrible commie hippie sex thing happened to Robyn way back when to make her snap like a glass bong it would be irresponsible not to speculate. It was at least as bad as the rape of Nanjing so there’s a starting point.

 
 

commie hippie sex thing

My key parties ain’t communist, son.

 
 

Pupienus Maximus, I’m tired of the sexual tension between us, baby. Just admit you dig you me.

 
 

John Saxon – leader of the evil fembots on the Six Million Dollar Man – was in Mitchell!

 
 

Everybody RIGHT NOW should head over the VS’s place and see the “I Can Dance” video. It is priceless.

Plus the kitty-and-puppy video is there. And three or four other nifty videos.

 
 

John Saxon – leader of the evil fembots on the Six Million Dollar Man – was in Mitchell!

That’s right, baby. My movie has everything a red-blooded man from the 70’s could want. Check out that fine Bo Derek Linda Evans!

 
 

Can I have crullers and a blow job?

Gee whiz, assuming two crullers over the blowjob is, like, an extra $1.60 in value AT LEAST.

 
 

Thanks for the shout-out, Variants.

Yep, if you’re bored and want to check out some funny videos, my joint has some.

 
 

Pup: My bad. I totally forget! Was it the crullers or the other thing?

 
 

two crullers over the blowjob

What I love about the S,N! community is the giving. If D-KW’s mom gives him two blowjobs, he’ll always give you one.

 
 

What I love about the S,N! community is the giving. If D-KW’s mom gives him two blowjobs, he’ll always give you one.

No socialist blowjobs!

 
 

VS: Have you licked the sinus pain? What is this? Day 17 of Slayer Held Hostage?

 
Batman of Berkeley
 

Well old chum, I’m afraid the Bookworm’s crazy gas still hasn’t worn off. If you’ll just let me get you into the Bat-straitjacket and give you a shot of Batazine, Alfred and I will have you resting comfortably in Batboro Mental Hospital in Batavia, IL by bat o’clock Baturday morning bat bat bat bat BAT BAT GET IN THE BACK OF THE BATMOBILE

 
 

Mostly. I’m not sure the antibiotics got rid of all of it, but I’m hoping for the best. Thanks for asking.

 
 

She got dumped by a lefty boyfriend once and still hasn’t gotten over it.

 
 

Point. Central. Speculate. Irresponsible. Not. To.

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

An absolutely stunning feat of… I don’t even know what to call that.

I don’t presume to know.

So I’ll just make a bunch of shit up that sounds really, really bad.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Lol? How does one even come up with these ideas?

I don’t know, but that’s Pastor Swank-level crazy.

 
 

why is she still married? She claims her husband is a liberal. Is it illegal to divorce a crazy person in California??

 
 

To Spengler, from last thread:

This line drawn in the sand, may I say that the comment above which contains the following gem:
You know WHO ELSE was a dick-tater?
is an example of comedy opportunism that will probably only arise once in the history of the universe. In order for this witticism to appear, it required 1) a local joke in which interrogatory reference is made to invoke a certain historical despot; 2) some previous comment in which a penis is inserted into a spud.
It’s so funny that it’s not funny. There is no spoon. I’m gobsmacked.

Sputnik moment.

 
 

Did Communist brainwashing play some role in Stanley Ann’s choice of partners and her subsequent pregnancy?

Robin and the other Islamo-leftists at American Thinker are trying to pull off another liberal lamestream media cover-up of the sordid, disturbing, asshole-clenching truth. What we have here isn’t mundane brainwashing by some tedious communists – it’s mind-control by space reptile flesh harvesters. Wake up, sheeple!

 
 

– it’s mind-control by space reptile flesh harvesters.

Someone’s been hittin’ the bong way too much.

 
 

Curses on the dare. Couldn’t finish it though. It didn’t feel like reading a blog post. It felt like I stumbled onto the diary of a psychotic who would have been a hack writer if not for the disease.

 
 

Speaking of psychos that just keep giving, Maggie Gallagher blames Roe v. Wade for … wait for it….the epidemic of buttseks.

Is Maggie obsessed with buttseks? Perhaps she’s making a diversification effort in advance of the impending disaster of losing completely on teh homonups. Still, she does focus on buttseks awfully a lot.

 
 

It was highly unusual for girls in the 1950’s to have interracial relationships, much less babies, with a man of a difference race.

Back then, women only had interracial relationships with men of the same race.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Speaking of psychos that just keep giving, Maggie Gallagher blames Roe v. Wade for … wait for it….the epidemic of buttseks.

Damn you, PM. I was just going to bring that over here!

 
 

Wait a minute, I ain’t gettin’ out of no boat, but … the rape of Nanking? By Japanese Imperial troops — you know, the other side of WWII from the Commies? There was a “liberal” cover-up of it?

Maybe Robin’s “liberal” husband is in a coma?

 
 

“Maybe Robin’s “liberal” husband is in a coma”

Well, she IS unpleasant to be around.

 
 

Much of the Left’s dirty laundry has been expunged…

Communist washing machines always have way too much agitator action.

 
 

Rarely do I get outta da boat, but a triple-dog dare…Oh, Fuck Yeah!

Goddam, that’s a lotta stoopit on one spot! I would not be suprised to find that Robyn of Bedlam is a fine Poe-purveyor, and it’s all one big funny, for all to enjoy. But I don’t think that’s the case.

Note to self: recommit to ‘Stay.On.The.Boat-ALWAYS!’

 
 

Oh, yeah- Thanx for new thread! Last one lost its flavor on the bedpost overnight!

 
 

Communist washing machines always have way too much agitator action.

Quel Frommage.

 
 

Damn you, PM. I was just going to bring that over here!

Much as my PENIS is faster than D-KW’s, you’ll never beat me to buttsecks.

 
 

“The epidemic of buttseks”

Ed Wood’s finest and least-known film.

 
 

“The epidemic of buttseks”

Ed Wood’s finest and least-known film.

Filmed in Arkansas, btw.

 
 

Haven’t read all the comments, but this:

She suicided a few years after the book’s release...

…is priceless.

Also too:

Was Stanley Ann Dunham one of them; was she a brainwashed victim of a Communist upbringing? Or was she simply an independent thinker, who willingly and happily forged her life’s path?

I don’t presume to know. But I do know that millions of American women have been hoodwinked by those sweet-talking progressives. it would be irresponsible not to speculate using the most vile and unprovable accusations and conjectures possible, and to tar the entire Left with the same.

 
 

It was highly unusual for girls in the 1950?s to have interracial relationships, much less babies, with a man of a difference race.

Robin would pay a nickel for someone to chop her chifferobe into kindling.

 
 

What else can we deduce about Stanley Ann? There’s conjecture that Stanley Ann was raised in a radical family with Communist leanings.

Deduction is to conjecture as big giant boners are to Pokémon.

Oh. Forgot.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

In her landmark book, Chang revealed the mass violation of Chinese women by the invading Japanese troops during World War II.

So, is she implying that the Imperial Army of the Empire of Japan, with its divine Emperor, descendent of the sun goddess was leftist?

This shit is so off-the-wall, it’s not even wrong.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Deduction is to conjecture as big giant boners are to Pokémon.

I have a pocket monster, its name is Pokatchu.

 
 

Wait, wait. This woman is claiming that no-one knew about the Nanking Massacre until Iris Chang wrote about it in 1997.
I can only assume that she didn’t know about it until then, and that she also imagines that the whole world goes dark whenever she closes her eyes.

the invading Japanese troops during World War II.
For values of “World War II” that include 1937.

She suicided a few years after the book’s release.
For values of “a few” that include 7.

 
 

The Real Money Quote:

“There’s little known about Stanley Ann, aside from the details provided by Obama and his handlers. Of course, the truth about Obama’s past is shrouded in secrecy.

But what can be pieced together about Obama’s mom from the information at hand?”

In other words. “There must be someone who will take the time to really get out there and get the story, but it won’t be me, so hey, you wanna sit around while I make straw people out of innuendos?”

 
 

Robin just called and wanted me to add: “…and we can both wank off at the thought of the numbers of potential pedophiliac communist brainwashers in our neighborhood waiting to rape women like us by the hundreds…OH GOD!”

Then she hung up so I’m putting that up for her.

 
 

…faking a coma is not easy, but if the incentive is there, it can be done.

 
 

That was like looking into goatse guy’s butthole and seeing your own soul reflected back at you.

The Prep-H Haderach has appeared at last!

 
 

Getting gang raped by a company of Japanese soldiers is EXACTLY like consensual sex with an African Negro, except that the AN didn’t shoot your husband, bayonet your children before raping you, and didn’t slit your throat after. Plus, the fortunate women of Shanghai weren’t forced to marry 100 or so Japanese soldiers, in part because they were dead.

 
 

…millions of American women have been hoodwinked by those sweet-talking progressives.

A typical communist agent of the Third International.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

“Maybe Robin’s “liberal” husband is in a coma”

I know it’s serious!

 
 

There’s little known about Stanley Ann, aside from the details provided by Obama and his handlers. Of course, the truth about Obama’s past is shrouded in secrecy.

All she is demanding is that Obama provide information that hasn’t been provided by him or anyone connected to him. It’s telling that he can’t, or won’t, cooperate.

 
 

I was a teen in the late 60’s, High School and all that in Calif. Bay Area: pretty liberal & radical. Loved to visit Berkeley and hang out on Telegraph Ave.

I suspect Robin (if she ever was liberal, which is questionable) is the sort of Hippy-chick who was basically an Authoritarian-follower-type; she didn’t actually have liberal ideas or beliefs, she just went along with the crowd. And some “hippy” groups were mean, just junkies or dealers, really.

Maybe she fell in with the type of commune where the head guy wore a beard & a tie-dyed kaftan, sold drugs, “rented” out the chicks, pretended to play in a band, and talked a lot about Peace & Love. A friend of mine lived in a “commune” (house in SF) like that. She was smart, though, and left in a couple of months.

See, it’s easy to “imagine” horrible things about Others’ experiences & motivations. Only my speculation is based in real possibilities, not just rage-induced hatred.

 
 

Fess-up, who amongst ya is a “sweet talking progressive”?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

millions of American women have been hoodwinked by those sweet-talking progressives.

What is it that conservatives always say about feminists? That we don’t trust women to make their own decisions? I guess that only applies when the decisions women make are in accordance to the ones they think are best.

 
 

See, it’s easy to “imagine” horrible things about Others’ experiences & motivations.

I imagine that everyone not in my presence is suffering the torments of hell, but I’m polite enough to not dwell on their problems.

 
 

All she is demanding is that Obama provide information that hasn’t been provided by him or anyone connected to him. It’s telling that he can’t, or won’t, cooperate.

It’s not his fault. The satanic Islamo-communist vampire tentacle demons from which he is descended tend to keep poor birth records.

 
 

I’ve got some experience with this pretendo-commie-get-the-chick-thing. Somewhere in my cousin Darrell’s attic there’s a trunk full of t-shirts we used to wear when we went looking for hippie chicks. My favorite t-shirt had a picture of Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens) on the front and Puddnhead Wilson on the back, checking for finger prints. All the chicks thought it was Karl Marx on the front and Neil Young on the back. That always drew the chicks in close for the ambush. I’d flick ’em the peace sign, say cool, then I would explain that I was really a Russian dude. Even the suspicious ones were finally convinced I was a Russian dude because I always carried a sack of potatoes (for making vodka in the bathtub). When we got back to my “crib”, the chicks were dazzled by my strobe lights and Hendrix posters. I kept a bunch of Carlos Castaneda books strewn around, especially The Teachings of Don Juan, and the chicks would say things like, “Cool. I hear he’s really deep into thinking and shit. You’re really heavy aren’t you?” And I would explain that in order to understand Carlos (I used his first name, and, get this, I also forged his books with the names of other famous thinkers, like Einstein and Dos Passos and Hitchcock, making them sound like personal friends of mine with lines like, “Rodertrudis, from one great thinker to another, The Teachings are eternal, shine on… A.E.”) they had to take their clothes off and drink a glass of MD 20-20, with a lime garnish. The chicks would say that they had heard something about Don Juan and yeah, it was cool to get naked. After the MD20-20 I spoke Russian to them, even though I didn’t know any Russian, I had heard that the Ruskies spit a lot so I was really just speaking English words backwards and spitting at the same time. After doing that for about three minutes I would ask if they wanted to lie down, and complete the Don Juan deep-thinking meditation. Sometimes, well, most of the time, they just got up and put their clothes back on and walked out the door, shooting me the bird. But, sometimes, they would say ok.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

You know, I know that some male hippies disregarded women’s ideas and feelings and only used them for sex, but I’m sure they were still better in bed than conservatives who did the same thing.

 
 

“Ginger kisses, licorice allsorts, orange whip, aniseed wheels, gummi bears.” Sweet-talking progressive is me!

 
 

rodertrudis: NOW we know what really happened to Robin, why she’s so, so … you know. All. Your. Fault. I hope you’re happy.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

“Ginger kisses, licorice allsorts, orange whip, aniseed wheels, gummi bears.” Sweet-talking progressive is me!

Kinky!

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

rodertrudis: NOW we know what really happened to Robin, why she’s so, so … you know. All. Your. Fault. I hope you’re happy.

It wasn’t all his fault, after all, he didn’t cook the hushpuppies that put her around the bend.

I never knew that ergot grew on corn.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

a glass of MD 20-20, with a lime garnish

Classy! The leftist boys who corrupted me thoroughly never had anything but bombers of Mickey’s.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

“Ginger kisses, licorice allsorts, orange whip, aniseed wheels, gummi bears.” Sweet-talking progressive is me!

I’m not getting in that van unless you have jelly babies.

 
 

jelly babies

To be eaten with peanut-butter fetii.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

To be eaten with peanut-butter fetii.

I’m allergic.

 
 

You know, I know that some male hippies disregarded women’s ideas and feelings and only used them for sex…

I’m sure that’s true, given that in the early sixties women in a lot of states still didn’t even have community property rights, no right or expectation of equal wages, equal access to education & etc etc. The hippy era was in full blossom only 5 short years later. But Robin wants to pretend that the grossly unequal status and treatment of women at the time was exclusive to the left, when it was societal-wide. That’s what takes the stupid there up an extra notch.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

But Robin wants to pretend that the grossly unequal status and treatment of women at the time was exclusive to the left, when it was societal-wide. That’s what takes the stupid there up an extra notch.

Exactly. It’s not like hippies were special misogynists or anything.

 
 

Also too, here we have a purportedly educated professional who thinks “suicide” is a verb.

 
 

Vans have hot tubs?

 
 
 

I saw a doco about some hippies who had lived in buses in California and after 30 years the blokes were all, “Peace and love and innocence and fun” while the women were all “hard work”. They just dropped out for a year or two then got back onto the treadmill, about as leftist as Richard Nixon

 
 

It was highly unusual for girls in the 1950?s to have interracial relationships, much less babies, with a man of a difference race.

Yeah, those anti-miscegenation laws that were overturned by Loving v. Virginia were to … uh … keep Martians from stealing our wimmin.

Liberal Martians.

 
 

Robin’s comments section is a rank mass of dark and creepy birther paranoia blended with treacly religiosity. I love it.

One commenter commiserates:

…no wonder you’re waking up with freaky dreams at night Robin! All of this floating in your head!

Liberals are so evil that just thinking about them can drive you insane. Wingnuts may be crazy, but it’s our fault.

Also:

American just wasn’t ready for the son and protegee of a filthy communist pervert as its Commander-in-Chief…

Ah, well. Maybe not today and maybe not tomorrow, but I dream that the day will come when this great country of ours will finally be ready and eager for non-stop wall-to-wall filthy communist perversion.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

I didn’t get off the boat to grab one of Robin’s mangoes, but any reptilian alien B.S. is sweeter than ripe persimmons to me. I’ve been diving in strange waters, and this comment made me laugh my ass off. Money quote:

I felt the same thick evil while at Harvard (in the Nondinominational cathedral which is also about 8ft under ground) but cast it aside as the feel of a building with history and a mustiness about it.

 
 

The fact is, we the Tea Bag Party will punch every last leftist inthe USA with are bear hands when we get the signal.

 
 

If this the same filthy communist perverts that were here last night, we don’t take roubles, comrade. Orange whips ain’t cheap, you know

 
 

“It was highly unusual for girls in the 1950’s to have interracial relationships, much less babies, with a man of a difference race.”

As opposed to the more acceptable interracial relationship with a man of the same race.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

I saw a doco about some hippies who had lived in buses in California and after 30 years the blokes were all, “Peace and love and innocence and fun” while the women were all “hard work”.

Kinda hard to feed the kids vibes. Fuckin’ patriarchal hippies, how do they work?

Yeah, those anti-miscegenation laws that were overturned by Loving v. Virginia were to … uh … keep Martians from stealing our wimmin.

Well, that Martian threat was real.

I figure any mention of Yvonne Craig is sure to get N__B away from the FPS he’s playing.

 
moderately good looking not so hunchback
 

There was nothing like Frida Kahlo references to get those hippie chicks .

I heard.

 
 

“It was highly unusual for girls in the 1950’s to have interracial relationships, much less babies, with a man of a different race.”

Yeah, well, Obama’s parents got together in 1960 or 61.

I think we should do a forensic analysis and count all the different ways Robin can be wrong in one blogpost.

 
 

I figure any mention of Yvonne Craig is sure to get N__B away from the FPS he’s playing.

Getting ready for dinner and “The Fisher King.”

 
 

…if one were incautious, forensic could be misspelled forescin

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Orange whips ain’t cheap, you know

That’s the man the Reptilians keeping you down!

“It was highly unusual for girls in the 1950?s to have interracial relationships, much less babies, with a man of a difference race.”

But super-hot interracial sapphic encounters were an everyday occurrence!

Uh, I’ll be in my bunk…

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Getting ready for dinner and “The Fisher King.”

Another fine movie filmed in Arkansas.

 
 

…Louisiana? …or do I have my cryptic references tangled?

 
 

Another fine movie filmed in Arkansas.

The castle where the holy grail is hidden is my high school.

 
 

OK, I got out of the boat… and it was like a 3-day acid flashback from the brown acid at Woodstock. I’m considering having myself 5150’d.

 
 

I ain’t gettin’ outta the boat. I mean it looks like Robyn is saying mean shit about Obama’s mom. How utterly disrespectful.

 
 

So I’m pretty psyched not to have gotten out of the boat.

 
 

BBB got me out of the alien reptile boat, however. Wowzer, the crazy is thicker’n mayflies.

 
 

I think we should do a forensic analysis and count all the different ways Robin can be wrong in one blogpost.

We’ll need to borrow the computer that runs the Large Hadron* Collider.

*NVPR.

 
 

…”the boat” is a metaphor for life – “getting out of the boat” is a pathetic cry for help – Robin will be there to ease your pain (her comatose liberal husband notwithstanding)

 
 

“January 30, 2011 at 1:00

“Ginger kisses, licorice allsorts, orange whip, aniseed wheels, gummi bears.” Sweet-talking progressive is me!”

FAIL. You’re like the Halloween house with all the lame candy.

 
 

We’ll need to borrow the computer that runs the Large Hadron* Collider.

Road trip to Arkansas.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

SD, just heard the new Deerhoof single, “I Did Crimes For You”, on the radi-adi-o.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

FAIL. You’re like the Halloween house with all the lame candy.

Be nice, he’s not from these parts. Surely, your candy would be strange to him.

 
 

For some reason that made me giggle. AK knows I wuv him, but, damn man—where’s the chocolate?!!!!

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

AK knows I wuv him, but, damn man—where’s the chocolate?!!!!

Corn is not one of New Zealand’s major agricultural products, so they use High Fructose Lamb Syrup to sweeten their confectionaries.

 
 

Uh, I’ll be in my bunk…

Clean up on Aisle 7!

 
 

Ha! That reminds me…there was this Australian comedienne who was joking that the aussies accuse the kiwis of fucking sheep and kiwis accuse the Aussies of the same…but really it’s the sheep who are sluts.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

there was this Australian comedienne who was joking that the aussies accuse the kiwis of fucking sheep and kiwis accuse the Aussies of the same

My favorite joke like that is, “Scotsmen wear kilts because sheep can hear a zipper from a mile off.”

 
 

really it’s the sheep who are sluts

I think that it’s time for sheep liberation to be a little more sex-positive.

 
 

Corn is not one of New Zealand’s major agricultural products, so they use High Fructose Lamb Syrup to sweeten their confectionaries.

I don’t know why, but that may well be the most disgusting comment I’ve ever read on S,N!

 
 

I am not certain, but believe it to be entirely possible that RoB is taking her impression of how the left was to “its women” (nice revelatory possessive, there) from the musical “Hair”. (Which is itself about as authentic a depiction of the counterculture as “Rent.”)

 
 

B^4, aren’t there tons of those “where the women are________ and the sheep run scared” jokes?

pedestrian–lulz

 
 

Wingnuts cannot even defend women without first infantilizing them. Duh. Women are 100% human. Humans are capable of astonishing things. Sometimes those things are brilliant, sometimes horrific. Sometimes there are circumstances, sometimes there’s only raw horror.

Maybe Diana Oughton made her own decisions.

I don’t get it, really. Remember when Andrea Yates drowned all of her children? It quickly became clear that she was suffering from post-partum psychosis, but she was reviled from the get-go. Only a monster, etc.

You can get whiplash from the twists and turns of their logic. I am a horrible DFH lefty virago because I support abortion rights. Well, hello, I had an abortion once, a long time ago. Would they put me in prison for it? No. All of a sudden they turn all sympathetic: of course we won’t put those unfortunate women in prison. They were confused and victimized, etc.

It’s like we’re all walking around with blanks where our faces should be, so that everyone can just project whatever image they need onto us.

Joanna Russ has a great book on how women’s artistic agency gets hijacked – How To Suppress Women’s Writing.

Also, how much does anyone want to bet that at least some of the Egyptian looters are security police?

 
 

I don’t know why, but that may well be the most disgusting comment I’ve ever read on S,N!

Then you’ve never tossed some prunes into a pot of lamb jus that you are cooking down to a syrupy consistency. Actually neither have I, but I will as soon as I find myself a nice tagine.

 
 

“High Fructose Lamb Syrup”

Were I drinking, the monitor would be dripping.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Women are 100% human.

Obviously, you didn’t read any of those “reptilian hybrid” websites.

 
 

“I find myself a nice tagine.”

I like the cut of your jib, sir.

 
 

I am of peace, always.

 
 

“Women are 100% human.”

Except the ones at Taco Bell.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

I am a horrible DFH lefty virago

{snagglepuss}Termagant, even{/snagglepuss}

I don’t know why, but that may well be the most disgusting comment I’ve ever read on S,N!

USA! USA!

Actually neither have I, but I will as soon as I find myself a nice tagine.

Well, stop looking under the local shrubbery, and get thee to teh Goog!

Joanna Russ has a great book on how women’s artistic agency gets hijacked – How To Suppress Women’s Writing.

I’ve only read her short fiction, I think I’ll have to look this up in a biblioteca.

 
 

really it’s the sheep who are sluts

They were brainwashed by leftists into believing that they needed to sexually service shepherds for the good of the Revolution.

 
 

Well, stop looking under the local shrubbery, and get thee to teh Goog!

I’ve actually picked out the one I want. Le Creuset . In traditional orange. Just haven’t been arsed to actual get it yet. What can I say? I’m lazy and have no prunes or lamb in teh house right now.

 
 

A typical communist agent of the Third International.

Can’t fool me. That’s actually Tintin.

I too, compounded my mistake of clicking on the post by clicking over to the comments, and…aw, fuck it, my wife and kids don’t need me that much. I’m gonna go do bong hits out of my car’s exhaust pipe, and it’s all Tintin’s fault.

 
 

Funneh, teh traditional orange is apparently the trendy new colour for the tagines – abd they call it “volcanic”. Anyways, one of these.

 
 

Le Creuset no less…

 
 

Hyperbole and a Half currently has a trenchant analysis (and depiction) of what girls are capable of. It’s kind of heartwarming while being blood-curdling. Sometimes the contradictions heighten themselves.

 
 

Weird. I was just gonna ask if it were orange.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I’ve actually picked out the one I want. Le Creuset . In traditional orange. Just haven’t been arsed to actual get it yet.

Damn, how many Cleveland Steamers did your mom have to take for you to afford that?

 
 

The fact is, liberals are retarded fags.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

From Le Creuset:

Suitable for all hobs

I think it’s supposed to read “Suitable for all hobos”. I imagine it would be great for heating up beans.

 
 

I got out of the boat. I wish I hadn’t.

Jesus fucking Christ, is she fucking nuts?

Can we make The Rape of Nanking the new Godwin?

 
 

I don’t gots it yet. Actually, the price tag on it ain’t too bad – it’s not like it’s the 8 quart dutch oven or anything.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I don’t gots it yet. Actually, the price tag on it ain’t too bad – it’s not like it’s the 8 quart dutch oven or anything.

No, it’s not. I’m just giving you shit. Also, all the good cookware from the T&U household isn’t, um, in the T&U household anymore, so I might be jealous.

 
 

Snorg, I forgot to say how beautifully droll this was : “Communist washing machines always have way too much agitator action.” I think a bunch of other people said smart things, too, so good work everyone! I will buy each of you a drink or a Creuset. Can there be a drink called a Creuset?

 
 

Pardonnez-moi, I meant 9 quart French oven. I would have swore that it was an 8 quart though. I guess I’m conservative when it comes to how much freeboard you leave for braising.

 
 

g – yes. I know this even though I didn’t get out of the damn boat. Wouldn’t it suck to be her? Can you imagine living in that mind? I mean, my branes may be tasty, but they aren’t tagine-worthy, and yet I’d still rather be in my head than in RoB’s.

 
 

I think it’s supposed to read “Suitable for all hobos”. I imagine it would be great for heating up beans.
Now THAT’S funny.
I wonder what the hobo sign for it would be? A little Michelin man?

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

it’s not like it’s the 8 quart dutch oven or anything.

Heh, he said Dutch oven…

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Why are hobo jokes so funny?

 
 

Heh, he said Dutch oven…

You’re the one that brought up reheating beans.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

I mean, my branes may be tasty, but they aren’t tagine-worthy

I dunno, Claudia Roden had a bunch of recipes for brains in her landmark book on Middle Eastern cuisine.

 
 

Also, how much does anyone want to bet that at least some of the Egyptian looters are security police?

I saw a man being interviewed on CNN who said that a looter who was detained by vigilantes had an NDP card.

 
 

You motherfuckers made me get out out the boat. I couldn’t stop myself. You win.

There’s like six shorters you could produce from that shit. Several of them would have to contain the phrase ‘librul womyn love black penis.’

How the fuck did she tie the Rape of Nanking into this?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

It’s a good thing zombies are already dead, because all that cholesterol would kill them.

(I feel like I’ve made this joke before.)

 
 

“January 30, 2011 at 3:37

Why are hobo jokes so funny?”
Just the word “hobo” is funny to me.

 
 

I am assuming Robin of Berkeley has very high malpractice premiums. Or should.

 
 

From the Tagine website:
“It can be used on any heat source, or on it’s own as a baking dish in the oven”

It’s over, folks, and has been for quite some time. NO ONE, even those writing ad copy, knows the difference between ITS and IT’S.

When did we kill all the 10th grade English teachers?

Oh, and before you use a La Crueset, be sure you have been working out for a few months. Those mothers are HEAVY.

 
 

Oh, well, who doesn’t have a 9 quart French oven? I have one. Me! She Who Cooks Almost Never. It is orange. It is very very beautiful. The last thing I cooked in it was Hoppin’ John, for a New Year that wasn’t this last one. I probably should send it to you. Or deliver it in person and wait for the tagine.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

There’s like six shorters you could produce from that shit. Several of them would have to contain the phrase ‘librul womyn love black penis.’

I know! I kept copying stuff to bring back here, and then decided to bring nothing because I couldn’t decide which was the best.

And it’s true that we do love black penis. When we are being hairy-legged man-hating lesbians, anyway.

 
 

Creuset. Damn.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Or deliver it in person and wait for the tagine.

You’d probably spend less on gas than you would on shipping it.

 
 

I have a traditional orange Le Creuset oven dish called a Daube – they don’t seem to make it anymore, but it’s like a Dutch oven except the lid is shaped so you can put water in it. I think it serves the same function as the coolie-hat shape of the tagine – it makes condensation keep the food moist. Daube is also the name of the french stew you make in one.

When we were last in London – which is far too long ago – there were some Moroccan immigrant shops in Notting Hill, and they were selling imported tagines there.

I know there are some Moroccan shops here in LA, I should look and see if I can find one.

 
 

It is okay, pat. “Creuset” is never on the test, and none of the dead 10th grade teachers cared anyway.

Also, T&U, the plural of penis is penii. That will be on the test, even for us nympho-lesbo-killer-whores.

 
 

(raises hand) It’s = it is.

 
 

I like the Moroccan ones, Like These

 
 

@Colleen

YES. A gold star for you!! Now, finish this sentence fragment..

Just between you and (I or ME?)

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Also, T&U, the plural of penis is penii.

AHEM

It’s third declension, baby!

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

I like the Moroccan ones, Like These

I’ll just nick one the next open mike I play.

 
 

A declension of the third kind. Oof. I always forget.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I *meant* for it to be singular, anyway. Hmph.

 
 

“I’ll just nick one the next open mike I play”

Play?

 
 

I like the Moroccan ones, Like These

Stoneware is more authentic, but cast iron doesn’t break when you drop it.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Play?

Oh, yeah. The open mike is actually quite an easy instrument to learn.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Play?

Future blog post, as soon as I get a damn webcam. I wonder if there are any tagine/webcam combo offers on Ebay.

 
 

Oh, darn, T&U! I just went back and read it aloud, and I see that I missed your original intent. You weren’t counting penii, you were referencing a concept, or an ideal, or a way of life, or whatever. Of course it would be singular. So since my objection was irrelevant, I will assume I won’t get points taken off for not knowing about declensions. Or declensionae.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Stoneware is more authentic, but cast iron doesn’t break when you drop it.

It just breaks your foot.

 
 

Tagines with webcams is a niche market just waiting to be tapped.

 
 

The last thing I cooked in it was Hoppin’ John, for a New Year that wasn’t this last one. I probably should send it to you.

Won’t it be spoiled by now?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

You weren’t counting penii, you were referencing a concept, or an ideal, or a way of life, or whatever.

Exactly! It’d be like when the Black Panthers saw all those hippie leftist chicks and said “We could be knee-deep in white pussy!”

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Tagines with webcams is a niche market just waiting to be tapped.

The lamb cam, hotter than harissa.

 
 

It just breaks your foot.

No problem, I don’t cook with my foot.

 
 

““We could be knee-deep in white pussy”

Ouch.

 
 

Pedestrian, you fiend.

Um, I froze it (the hoppin’ john) and washed the French oven in hot soapy water, then rinsed it, then dried it with lambswool, then placed it back carefully onto its shelf.

(I have since et the hoppin’ john, and, as you see, am here to tell the tale. It were delicious.)

 
 

“The lamb cam, hotter than harissa.”

Ya know I’ve never used that stuff. What is it exactly?

 
 

..and then we leftist hippie chicks began to analyze the implications, and we realized that history demanded that we ask out the Black Panther sisters instead.

The fact that they turned me down is peripheral to my point.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Ouch.

Don’t worry. They work up to it.

 
 

punch every last leftist inthe USA with are bear hands

I would love to have bear hands as long as I could keep my second amendment rights to keep bear arms. Wolverine eat your heart out!

 
 

Oh, and B^4…re: your entry from a ways back, I meant to tell you that my very first serious beau was a 3rd degree black belt (that’s a thing, right) in Hap Ki Do (?)

 
 

i can’t believe that you guys have ALL missed the POINT. obama’s granddad got in trouble in high school for punching the principal. WHAT MORE DO YOU NEED TO KNOW?!?!?!!?!?!!1111!!!

i for one am grateful for robin’s incisive writing and i too applaud her for overcoming the great hurdles of having a man’s name and/or a bird’s name. i hope the crazies are proud of their woman.

 
 

“punch every last leftist inthe USA with are bear hands”

What the hell is that from?

 
 

Via the mighty House of Substance

Behold an even deeper abyss of weirdness… the Weather Underground is behind the Egyptian revolt. I’m not making this up.

From the comments section:
The longer we go without prosecuting the treacherous Left, the bolder they get. We failed to execute John Kerry and Jane Fonda for their high treason, and this is our reward.

 
 

VS – fake Gary at: Gary Ruppert said,

January 30, 2011 at 1:41

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Ya know I’ve never used that stuff. What is it exactly?

It’s a hot sauce common to North Africa and the Levant. If you take a road trip to NYC, dinner on Mamoun’s is on me.

Oh, and B^4…re: your entry from a ways back, I meant to tell you that my very first serious beau was a 3rd degree black belt (that’s a thing, right) in Hap Ki Do (?)

I spent a good portion of this morning fighting like hell with a good friend. Oddly enough, I felt great afterward- all the snow shoveling lately has been a good warmup.

 
 

Thanks, S.

The bear arms joke has always tickled me.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Behold an even deeper abyss of weirdness… the Weather Underground is behind the Egyptian revolt. I’m not making this up.

The Suez Canal comment is fucking great, too.

 
 

Sounds cathartic, B^4. What belt are you at?

And dinner would be loverly.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

So, wait, is the wingnut narrative that Mubarak is the shiz and the revolt is BAD? I thought they were all pro-democracy and shit.

 
 

“So, wait, is the wingnut narrative that Mubarak is the shiz and the revolt is BAD? ”

Exsqueeze me? Baking powder? What the EFF?

 
 

And you gotta love the “are” – that is perfect. I think “are” fake Gary is DougJ from Balloon Juice. I may be totally wrong but that is my hypothesis.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Mubarak is relatively friendly to Israel and is one of the closest allies we have in that region outside of Saudi Arabia.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

It’s just like the Shah, VS! We can’t have that!!!!

 
 

I reserve the right to arm bears – I will be on Colbert’s list soon.

 
 

Yeah, I know. I’m guessing that if they’re against the revolt it’s because some of the middle class folks are looting in wealthy neighborhoods. Wingnuts never miss an opportunity to route for the most fortunate.

 
 

Bear hands and bear arms would be wicked cool. Fuck with me, you drunk bastard!

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Also…that caption: “Code Pink co-founder Jodie Evans meets with President Barack Obama weeks after meeting the Taliban, Oct. 15, 2009.”

That is FUCKED UP. At long last, have you motherfuckers no fucking decency?

 
 

Watching “The Dreams in the Witch House” on Masters of Horror – Damn I would love to see this as a big budget film.

 
 

I love that series, S. I gotta see if I can find it on On Demand.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

YOU GUYS. The sidebar says “FEATURE STORY: IS SEIU WORKING WITH HAMAS AND FARC?”

Okay, a) I don’t think I need to point out the horribleness and absurdity of this, and how fundamentally scary it is, and b) FARC? Really? If you’re going to include FARC, why not just include the IRA? And throw in ETA while you’re at it?

 
 

my very first serious beau was a 3rd degree

That sounds serious…put some butter on it.

 
 

If you stare into the goatse long enough it stares back.

It also seems to follow you as you move around the room. Creeeepy!

 
 

NO! not butter – that is a myth, but aloe vera is very good for burns.

 
 

“my very first serious beau was a 3rd degree”

I heard you’re NOT supposed use it on burns. Or use it for anal sex.

 
 

Butter is a myth? What the fuck have I been eating?

 
 

T&U, please close the link. That way lies weirdness, and there’s only so much weirdness a girl can handle on any given day. I don’t want your head to splode or nothin.

 
 

Does anyone know the status of the rumored movie of “At The Mountains of Madness”? “Cause that could be seriously cool. (bubbling sounds)

 
 

“January 30, 2011 at 4:55

Butter is a myth? What the fuck have I been eating?”

Ok, that made me laugh. You should know sour cream is a legend.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Butter is a myth? What the fuck have I been eating?

Margarine?

 
 

Have we even made a decision yet on whether there are mountains in Arkansas?

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Sounds cathartic, B^4. What belt are you at?

Second brown- need to drop twenty pounds and work less to get 1st dan. I spent a good time being beaten up by this guy, who took bronze in the ’80 Olympics– guy was one of the funniest people I’ve ever met.

 
 

Butter is a myth? What the fuck have I been eating?

Margarine?

“I swear Mr. Simpson, I never went near your wife.”

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

T&U, please close the link. That way lies weirdness, and there’s only so much weirdness a girl can handle on any given day. I don’t want your head to splode or nothin.

Once you get in there, it’s very hard to get out!

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

“Cause that could be seriously cool.

Frigid, even.

 
 

T&U, I am here to talk you down.

Well, for a little while anyway. Ima go read a book or somethin soon.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Have we even made a decision yet on whether there are mountains in Arkansas?

They’re technically jagged bits of plateau, but I think it would be kind to call them “mountains.” I don’t want to hurt their feelings.

 
 

Big Bad Bald Brown Belt Bastard= B6. Yikes.

 
 

I want a Miskatonic U. shirt.

 
 

jagged bits of plateau

Blame your dentist.

 
 

“1st dan. I spent a good time being beaten up by this guy, who took bronze in the ’80 Olympics”

Damn. He’s not a petite guy.

So what differentiates Judo from the other arts? Sorry I’m nosily interrogating you tonight.

 
 

So what differentiates Judo from the other arts?

Very few painters can split a concrete block with their nose.

 
 

The plateau of Leng? Arkansas.

 
 

If you’re going to include FARC, why not just include the IRA? And throw in ETA while you’re at it?

I’m kind of surprised they never include the Mongols. Those guys were really scary.

“Code Pink co-founder Jodie Evans meets with President Barack Obama weeks after meeting world conqueror Genghis Khan, Oct. 15, 2009.”

 
 

N_B, ya damn smartass.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

T&U, I am here to talk you down.

I’m good now. I’m out of Diet Dr. Pepper, but I might make some tea, and then I’m going to eat some pudding and maybe some popcorn.

 
 

I heard you’re NOT supposed use it on burns. Or use it for anal sex.

I’ve never heard butter, but I’ve heard of crisco and vaseline being used. She boggles, th’ mind does… burns, of course. Still talking about burns here.

 
 

Climb ev’ry jagged bit of plateau
Ford ev’ry intermittent rivulet
Follow ev’ry reticulated highway system
Til you ______!

hit skid row
stub your toe
just let go
….

 
 

““Code Pink co-founder Jodie Evans meets with President Barack Obama weeks after meeting world conqueror Genghis Khan, Oct. 15, 2009.”

LULZ

 
 

Pudding is good.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

eat a gateau

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

doff your chapeau

Oh, I have bacon, too!

 
 

I am going away now. Does anyone need anything before I go? Doesn’t mean I’ll get it for you; I’m just pretending to be polite. I can’t believe there’s a Sadly, No and that we get to play here.

 
 

Of course the wingnuts would say Nyarlathotep is Obama.

 
 

Bacon. Pudding. Popcorn. Unmixy.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

drink a glaceau (product)

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Bacon. Pudding. Popcorn. Unmixy.

Not all at the same time!

Although I think chocolate pudding could go with bacon, and vanilla might pair with popcorn.

 
 

em-bar-go!

 
 

No no no, no chocolate bacon. Aieeeee.

 
 

T&U, If I recall correctly you are (or were) in Lawrence so I just want to pass on my favorite Nebraska joke that one of my (UK alum) professors told me: Do you know what the N on Nebraska’s football helmets stands for? Nowledge.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Do you know what the N on Nebraska’s football helmets stands for? Nowledge.

Hahahahaha! God, Nebraska is like the Duke of football.

 
 

I can’t believe there’s a Sadly, No and that we get to play here.

The only reason we enjoy it is because we’ve been brainwashed by leftists.

 
 

DK-W, where are you and that glass that fits so nicely in hour hand? I wanted to ask if you got a chance to see that vid.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Bacon formula.

Adds a nice, savory porcine flavor to the baby flesh.

 
 

Needed more Lovecraftian trippiness and more shapeless horrors.

 
 

T&U – that is COOL! I will check these guys out more.

Of course it made me think of:

Duffman: Duff beer is made from barley, hops, and sparkling clear rocky mountain… what?

Titania: Goat!

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Damn. He’s not a petite guy.

Six six, 280 lbs- he would have been the perfect “heavy” in a James Bond film. He also had a knack for making you laugh while he was destroying you. He succumbed to cancer back in ought-six.

So what differentiates Judo from the other arts?

It was conceived in the late 19th Century as a cleaned-up form of jujutsu to be practiced as a sport (for instance, the only joint locks that are legal are attacks on the elbow, because the wrist can be broken too easily to allow an opponent to concede a match). It’s a lot like wrestling, concentrating on throws (we grip our opponent by the garment when we fight). Oddly enough, George Washington would have been right at home in a dojo.

Hey, what thread had the “fat hobbit loving bastard” bit in it?

 
 

NEED MOAR SHOGGOTH!!!!!

 
 

B^4, I will remember to be much more polite to you.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

T&U – that is COOL! I will check these guys out more.

John Darnielle should give me a cut of the profits on his next album.

 
 

OMG, he’s huge.

” It’s a lot like wrestling, concentrating on throws”

Ok, that is interesting. I had no idea.

I think the Hobbit stuff is in The Thread that Ate the Internauts

 
 

But the original hobbit comment is in the Howie Makes a Boom-Boom thread.

 
 

Well there is a Bacon Mountain which is quite close to Electric Butte, so I’m told. None of this is anywhere near Arkansas.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Oh, snap.

Poor Scottie.

 
 

Unknown Kadath? Arkansas.

 
 

Ladies and gentlemen,

I have got to go. Real life is now my priority. I could not finish reading that epic thread, alas. You’re a brilliant, funny, overinformed bunch. But you’re also a bunch of dirty bastards.

It’s nice to know there are other folks out there as upset about the big poop parade of current events as I am.

I wish you all the best.

Bilo

P.S. Charlton Heston called from beyond the grave and said: DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!!

 
 

OMG, he’s huge.

*blushing* thanks hon.

 
 

I think the Hobbit stuff is in The Thread that Ate the Internauts

I don’t remember anything about Mark Steyn for a while now.

 
 

the Weather Underground is behind the Egyptian revolt.

RA IS DEAD!
Up against the wall, Sphinx!
OFF TEH PHARAOH!

*observes mangos, LOLs at Triple Dog Dares*

 
 

Licensed psychotherapist, you say? What, you mean like Zoe D Katze, Ph.D., C.Ht., DAPA?

 
 

Safe journeys Bilo

 
 

A weird rotation of Deerhoof, the Decemberists, the Silversun Pickups, Florence and the Machine, Goldfrapp, Yann Tiersen, Gogol Bordello, Liz Phair, and a bunch of ’90s Bollywood hits. Thanks for asking.

Between that and the Sour Diesel, feeling visionary.

I’m sorry about Bilo leaving. But let’s take this opportunity to move all the furniture around.

 
 

*observes mangos, LOLs at Triple Dog Dares*

Fuckin’ A right. My shoes are dryer than Joan Rivers’ gigolo’s cock.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Fuckin’ A right. My shoes are dryer than Joan Rivers’ gigolo’s cock.

DUDE. I was eating popcorn. I almost DIED!

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

One day I will be old, and I will feel guilty about laughing at dry vadge jokes.

 
 

T&U, that’s like what happened to me today — a friend and I were “practicing the ukulele” in the green, grassy park (actually we were practicing the ukulele, the suggestive quotes are only provided to add a little of the old picante to an otherwise dull post). It was one of those balmy days, you know? Then a tree shadow fell across us, and it dipped into the low 70s, and we got chilly. So we left.

I almost died, too.

 
 

RA IS DEAD!
Up against the wall, Sphinx!
OFF TEH PHARAOH!

And me doing my Stargate SG-1 marathon before Hulu takes it off the air on Monday. Well timed.

 
 

Off-topic, here is today’s email to my doting mother.

Ma,

Congratulations on Ted’s voluntary defenestration from the halls of government.

That said, we need to have a serious discussion. With Ted retired, there will be a real temptation for the two of you to get into drugs. So I want you to pick up a hobby you can do together that isn’t improved by chewing coca leaves and whatnot. Now, clearly: drawing is not that hobby. And if you start attending church I’ll shit in your hat.

So here’s my suggestion. I think you should find a couple of starter ukuleles and commence to learn to play ’em. Your eldest son, who is well known for having no musical ability whatsoever, still doesn’t. But he can rip out half a dozen songs with reasonable accuracy and has another ten or fifteen sort of pieced together.

It’s kept me off the harder drugs, I haven’t been to a whorehouse in months, and although I’m drinking like the Irish navy on shore leave, I’m no longer tormented by the desire to strangle tourists to death behind the Griffith Observatory. Not every week, anyway.

Now, mind you, I’m working on the banjolele, which has the virtue of being even more eccentric and obscure (my two primary criteria for liking anything) than the ukulele. But the uke has a couple of things going for it: first, it’s cutting-edge with the hipsters; the very coolest persons play the ukulele. Second, you could get third degree burns over 90% of your body, lose all your fingers, and still play the goddamn thing with reasonable accuracy. I have to learn FINGER ROLLS and SPLIT STRUMS on the banjolele. With the uke you just thrash away like an unmedicated Parkinson’s victim and it comes out well enough.

IN FACT, I have a uke coming to me by US mail, courtesy an Ebay auction, of course, in which I secured the instrument for less than the cost of shipping. I shall paint it in some gay fashion and have at it (the ukulele) with the great Buz Carter, who got me started by leaving his own uke at our house for three fucking months until I was entirely hooked.

One admonition: find a music store that has a few in stock at different price points. Ask the nice man to play them. Choose the ones that sound good. Below $40, you’re not going to have much luck. For $80 or so you can get a good one. They go up to $6,000. In addition, if it has shitty factory strings, get some Aquilas put on there, and buy a clip-on tuner (around $10.) Then tuning is extremely easy. Which is great, because you’ll have to tune it every six minutes until the strings break in.

Have I made myself clear?

1. Say no to amphetamines

2. Jesus is for other people

3. The ukulele is the path to good health

Finally, Mr. Carter and myself are assembling a songbook, which we have not yet agreed shall be entitled “Ukulele For Assholes,” although I believe I will eventually prevail. If you procure the musical devices necessary to profit from such a volume, I’ll send you a copy. When we’re done with it. Which will be before I’m 50.

Your concerned son

Ben

PS Ike just farted.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I almost died, too.

Now you know how Luke Skywalker felt on the planet of Hoth, don’t you?

I hope you weren’t forced to shelter yourself in the innards of a large animal (such as a Great Dane) to keep warm.

 
 

I hope you weren’t forced to shelter yourself in the innards of a large animal (such as a Great Dane) to keep warm.

Pillow talk, eh? Two can play at that game.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

It’s kept me off the harder drugs, I haven’t been to a whorehouse in months, and although I’m drinking like the Irish navy on shore leave, I’m no longer tormented by the desire to strangle tourists to death behind the Griffith Observatory. Not every week, anyway.

Hm, maybe I *should* get a ukulele….

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Pillow talk, eh? Two can play at that game.

Well, you know, the ukulele is a sexy, sexy instrument.

 
 

It depends how you hold it, of course — and mine’s a banjolele, which mostly deaf chicks dig.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

and mine’s a banjolele, which mostly deaf chicks dig.

Of course! How could I forget?

I dunno, I kind of like the banjolele, and it’d probably be popular with the old timey-type hipster girls.

 
 

old timey-type hipster girls
Theda Bara, where are you?

 
 

With this week’s column arguing that “Leftists are the true sexists (because they encouraged white women to have sex with black men)”, does anyone doubt that Robin’s next column will be about “Leftists are the true racists”?

the plural of penis is penii.
PENES.

 
 

I heard you’re NOT supposed use it on burns. Or use it for anal sex.
I’ve never heard butter, but I’ve heard of crisco and vaseline being used.

Kids today. In our day we only had Silver Nitrate, Tannic Acid, and Gentian Violet.

 
 

I want a Miskatonic U. shirt.
Someone at the boozer the other day was wearing a “Miskatonic University Antarctic Expedition” hoodie. Imagine my envy.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Kids today. In our day we only had Silver Nitrate, Tannic Acid, and Gentian Violet.

You’re even older than antibiotics? Damn.

 
 

Kids today. In our day we only had Silver Nitrate, Tannic Acid, and Gentian Violet.

Even today, gentian violet is often used to treat decapitations.

 
 

Robin: It was highly unusual for girls in the 1950’s to have interracial relationships, much less babies, with a man of a difference race. During this time, however, the Communist Party of the United States encouraged women members to use their feminine wiles to entice men, especially black men, into the movement, as well as to reward the ones who joined up.

Gocart: How does that coincide with your post-war Commie conspiracy, huh? It’s incredibly obvious, isn’t it? Progressive vaginas are introduced to our precious bodily fluids without the knowledge of the individual, and certainly without any choice. That’s the way your hard-core Commie works. I first became aware of it, Robin, during the physical act of love…Yes, a profound sense of fatigue, a feeling of emptiness followed. Luckily I-I was able to interpret these feelings correctly. Loss of essence. I can assure you it has not recurred, Robin. Progressive women sense my power, and they seek the life essence. I do not avoid leftist women, Robin…but I do deny them my essence.

 
Illuminati Repton
 

That crazy bible code woman pisses me off. Obama, sure, I can see that, but no way in hell is Ron Paul one of my people.

http://www.hiddencodes.com/ron-paul.htm

 
 

Catching up on the thread, I see

The castle where the holy grail is hidden is my high school.

and chuckled some. You were a couple of years ahead of me there. I started in the armory.

From your comments,

Except a movie with Diane Lane, of course. Rowr.

I, however, got to have Diane Lane in my home room and English classes before she took off to make some movie in France, breaking my poor schoolboy heart. Yes, she is yet another alum, though she only went there briefly.

 
 

Ya know who ELSE denied women his essence?………………….

 
 

Ya know who ELSE denied women his essence?………………….

Ross Douthat?

 
 

In case you missed it, Larkspur’s Hyperbole and a Half link is very funny…both the cartooning and the story.

It must be a true story. Kids are so like that.

Much of the off-topic thread seems to be about weirdly-shaped cooking pots, an extremely odd HS / movie set in NYC, martial arts, banjoleles, and using cute little lambs as industrial sweetners. You know, the typical sort of conversation that can be found almost anywhere on the internet.

I got nothin’, folks. Except some news, or rather the absence of news:

Mubarak shut down Aljazeera’s operations in Egypt and withdrew their broadcast certification…probably because he is our Good Friend and Staunch Ally, and Aljazeera is a terrorist propaganda mouthpiece controlled by Osama bin Laden. So it’s all good.

 
 

I, however, got to have Diane Lane in my home room and English classes before she took off to make some movie in France, breaking my poor schoolboy heart.

Per IMDB, Diane Lane is about a month younger than me and – because of the thing about birthdays after 12/31 – should have been in the class behind me. Somehow I missed her 11-year-old self wandering the halls.

 
 

I wanted to ask if you got a chance to see that vid.

Oh I watched it, but when he went “something something,,, in the month of May” it freaked the hell outta me. I’m just glad he didn’t end the song with “and your mom” because that would have been freaky as all fucking get out. IOW, your mom is a freak – super-freak.

 
 

I fell deeply and madly in love with Diane Lane in Lonesome Dove.

 
A well regulated militia of heavily armed lunatics
 

…millions of American women have been hoodwinked by those sweet-talking progressives. And each new day, another young woman falls under their hypnotic spell.

See, that’s why DK-W’s mom lets me have it for free— it’s because of my hypnotic smell.

 
Leftist women, beware Dead-Eye Dick!
 

Out of the woods came Dead-Eye Dick
The man with the six-foot spiral dick
He searched the earch in a mighty hunt
For a girl with a six-foot spiral cunt

He searched by air and he searched by ground
But never a six-foot twat he found
He searched by land and he searched by sea
But never a corkscrew screw screwed he

He searched from Spain to the isle of Wight
To find a girl to fit him right
At last, when he found her, he shot her dead –
When he found she had a left-hand thread!

 
 

So I awoke this morning to find these two folks following me on Twitter:

Tom O’Halloran
Tom O’Halloran
@TPO_Hisself Las Vegas, Baby!
Child of God – Married – Gun carrying NRA Conservative – Right Winger hard Core Anti Obama (Pro America), Parrothead – http://www.ABoldStepBack.com #tcot #nra

Debra Parker
@chance_esp OK/USA
Conservative 9/12er I believe in One Nation Under God.Not in one new world order.

At first I found it amusing, now I find it kinda creepy. What, are they keeping tabs on me or something? Hope they don’t find out about my freaky three-way with Bill Ayers and George Soros.

 
 

My favorite joke like that is, “Scotsmen wear kilts because sheep can hear a zipper from a mile off.”

way behind time (& what are you people going with yer Saturday nights!), but my favourite sheep related joke:

“What’s the difference between Celtic and a bunch of sheep?
At least the sheep put up a struggle before getting humped.”

Can be changed for sporting teams and nationalities. Think I heard it first in South Africa.

 
 

That disgusting POEN is so typical of you potty-mouthed liberals. Ha Ha Ha. We are so sex liberated and cool and you conservatives are uptight squares. LOL!!! You mock what is Holy and only between and man and woman and everything about families and perversions and decency. ROFLMAO!!!

 
 

That disgusting POEN

Don’t hate on the peasants, Gary. You may be one someday.

 
 

Someone at the boozer the other day was wearing a “Miskatonic University Antarctic Expedition” hoodie. Imagine my envy.

I would sacrifice kittens to Cuthulu for one of them.

 
 

Ya know who ELSE denied women his essence?………………….

Ross Douthat?

OK, that’s fucking funny.

 
 

I believe it’s non-fucking funny.

 
 

Dusk in Egypt. The hour of evening prayer just began in Liberation.

 
 

Don’t hate on the peasants, Gary. You may be one someday.

Even if I am a peasent I WON’T BE A SLAVE TO SOCIALISTS!!!!!! We won, libs! We are talking back America & U can’t stop it!!! ROFLMAO!!!!!!

 
 

Shit! I blew my cover with ‘Dusk in Egypt! Well, I tried….

 
 

And I worked so hard! ‘POEN’ … ‘talking’ . Carefully sprinkled exclamation marks. Stale internet cliche shorthand. (ROFLMAO). Rants that cram lots of things into muddy, run-on sentences.

And I fucking neglected to change the nym for ONE innocuous post about Egypt!

*sigh*

 
 

You progressives are all over the place….. WTF

 
 

Per IMDB, Diane Lane is about a month younger than me and – because of the thing about birthdays after 12/31 – should have been in the class behind me. Somehow I missed her 11-year-old self wandering the halls.

She’s a couple of months older than I, so I think we were 12 at the time. You must have been an early starter. She might have been 13 when she left. I totes had a mad crush on her.

 
 

So I awoke this morning to find these two folks following me on Twitter

I have a troll follower on Wonkette:

Some info about Obama planned Tuscon:
Description: Divisive, intolerant Liberals hate it when minorities escape the Democrat Plantation. Libs ban all dissenters from their websites.
Reputation: -115
Follows: 88
Followed by: 9

You can almost smell the airplane-glue!

 
 

OBAMA PLANNED TUSCON? Oh lord, that is sick. *facepalm*

 
 

Got out of the boat.

For a long time, I’ve Always Trusted the Shorter ™ but this was a triple dog dare. You can’t turn down a triple dog dare!

Now, I fear that the amount of alcohol I need to drink to expunge the brain hurt will soon exceed the gross domestic product of South Korea.

If you see a guy on the street, looking unhinged, ranting and raving “Damn you, Robin of Berkley!” please buy him a drink.

 
 

Sooo late to the game. But I gotta say, I got out of the boat, and…

HOW THE FUCK ARE WE LOSING TO THESE PEOPLE???

 
 

Well, given these “facts”, it sort of makes sense that Barry could be a communist mulatto.

But how does this explain why he is President?

 
 

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