More Objective Media Reporting From Howie
Posted on January 25th, 2011 by Tintin
Shorter Howie Kurtz, The Daily Beast
Keith Olbermann’s Righteous Rage
- The reason Olbermann had to go is that he’s angy, bitter and old, unlike Bill, Sean, and Glenn, those impishly adorable cutups over at Fox.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
I’m surprised there’s no mention of his favourite on-line personalities like that restrained and remarkably even tempered Malkin woman. Maybe there is, but I ain’t gettin’ outta the boat to find out.
The only “media analysis” Kurtz should be doing is watching re-runs of Barney and guessing the number of times the dude farts in his costume.
Though DKW stands proud and erect, he doesn’t have the wangchucks to get off the boat? Fine, make the pregnant woman do it. And while I’m carrying your little dragon-prince!
Dragon-prince Dudeskull Slayer. Awesome.
Howard Kurtzied to FOX. There’s a story…
And while I’m carrying your little dragon-prince!
Doth the prince mince?
Silly him. If he’d worked for NewsCorp, that‘s one thing that never would’ve happened.
Silly him. If he’d worked for NewsCorp, that‘s one thing that never would’ve happened.
Nononononononono! Once Roger Ailes told Glenn Beck to stop alienating Republicans!
Also, Yay for the toilet p-shoops. My favorites!
Although Wingnuts in hats is pretty good.
I hated the Vehicular Love series.
To be fair, most of the article focuses on backstage politics (he intimates in a million different ways that Keith has an ego and a temper…duh)…but this part made me chuckle:
Once Roger Ailes told Glenn Beck to stop alienating Republicans!
….and then the Teabagger ratings came in…
I am not getting off the boat to read Howard Kurtz. That’s not cowardice (although to be fair – I’ve never claimed to lack this attribute) that’s just common sense.
I hated the Vehicular Love series.
Some people like Frazzetti more than Vallejo…but it’s all van art to me.
OT: browsing PJM for kicks, stumbled upon this comment:
The author’s pseudonym? “Pragmatist.”
There needs to be a zombie-themed p-shop ’round these parts.
The author’s pseudonym? “Pragmatist.”
I call bullshit.
He didn’t spell out “Christmas” like a good right wing Christian would.
I should have asked. ‘Cuz my wish is your command. I need to know that chivalry’s not dead all of a sudden…
Just read that Mohammedan BOGUS POTUS HUSSEIN Obambi is going to talk about the FIVE PILLARS that he is going to implement during his State of The Union speech. “FIVE Pillars”
1. Job creation
2. Bipartisan outreach
3. Turntabalism
4. Taking away your guns
5. Beatboxing or possibly Shania Law
I heard about this the other day and knew it was just a matter of time before the next wingnut freakout erupted.
Some people like Frazzetti more than Vallejo…but it’s all van art to me.
I’m more of a cover art type.
The author’s pseudonym? “Pragmatist.”
Living proof that in politics, people are usually the exact opposite of what they call themselves. (“Democratic People’s Republic of Korea,” “National Socialist Party,” “Fair And Balanced,” etc).
Pragmatist has a kicky poetic style though. “Mohammedan BOGUS POTUS HUSSEIN Obambi” is my favorite right-wing presidential nickname yet.
Someone on MSNBC just said “Michelle Obama would like to have you in her box.” Swear to FSM.
Just read that Mohammedan BOGUS POTUS HUSSEIN Obambi is going to talk about the FIVE PILLARS
“Mr. Osamabama! I see you have five fingers. You know who else had five fingers? HITLER! THERE! WHAT’D YOU THINK OF THAT, EH? WHAT’D YOU THINK OF THAT!!!”
– sincerely, the Tea Party Movement
Fizixed for more Bowzertude.
The author’s pseudonym? “Pragmatist.”
“Pragmatist” cross-posts at the usual haunts
Waiting for five pillars to go pro, my money’s on Jim Hoft to draft this sucker.
According to this guy, the concepts of fasting, pilgrimage, prayer, charity and faith are to be eternally banished from public discourse, otherwise it’s Mohammedan.
I fucking hate stupid people.
Just remember what old Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, the poison arrows fall from the sky and the five pillars of Obama shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big old Pragmatist right in the eye and says “Give me your best shot. I can take it.”
My bed has five pillars. It’s totes Muslim. Unless the one the cat always sleeps on doesn’t count.
[sigh] It’s all in the reflexes.
Those, plus two, = T.E. Lawrence’s Seven Pillars of Wisdom:
6. ??
7. Profit!
Sounds a little elitist to me.
My bed has five pillars.
Mine does too but only the middle one is for fun.
So Obama wants to make America more like Wikipedia?
WHY DOES PRAGMATIST HATE AMERICA?!?!?!?
Though he does nicely summarize the average Fox viewer …
While Sotero will be shoving Islam down our throats via the Five Pillars, he will apparently also be discussing “jobs.” Job. Job. Sound familiar? His duplicity and mendacity are without boundary! Wake up sheeple, etc.
I always *knew* Wikipedia was Muslin!
Any official news on why Comcast wanted Olbermann gone?
Hey remember Juan Williams? Man, when that guy lost his job no one gave a shit. Stupid lie-beral biased media.
Mistuh Kurtz, he ends with this:
I need to know that chivalry’s not dead all of a sudden…
it’s still shambling along, eating branes….
Scribe: I’m so sorry to hear about your mom. I hope her ending was peaceful and without pain.
While Sotero will be shoving Islam down our throats via the Five Pillars, he will apparently also be discussing “jobs.”
The Five Pillars hand job…
Any official news on why Comcast wanted Olbermann gone?
Somehow it will boil down to money.
We have eight pillars on our bed. I like ’em fluffy; the missus likes ’em firm.
We have eight pillars on our bed. I like ‘em fluffy; the missus likes ‘em firm.
Yer missus shoah has some firm pillars there, ayup.
Job. Sound familiar?
He wants us to give him a blowjob? Is that why they’re always talking about him shoving things down our throats?
Job is a book in the Judeo-Christian Bible. He’s playing both sides against each other for the coming Holy War. Wake up sheeple, etc.
Job is a book in the Judeo-Christian Bible. He’s playing both sides against each other for the coming Holy War. Wake up sheeple, etc.
I thought you were saying that he was going to make a bet with Kim Jong-Il to prove that we really love him.
Somehow it will boil down to money.
Countdown is MSNBC’s highest rated show. I’m guessing it’s related to Jeff Zucker stepping down, but that is a wild-ass guess.
Any official news on why Comcast wanted Olbermann gone?
The wingnuts like to point to the plethora of right wing radio and tv hosts as proof that the right wing message is in line with the majority in America. Their argument being that the left wing message does not get the ratings so it must be unpopular. However, I believe that the right wing message is what the the big corporate sponsors want put out there. They are willing to spend advertising money on right wingers even if the ratings are weak since they are selling the corporate agenda. The left wingers tend to get dropped any time they start gaining ratings.
I’m more of a cover art type.
Ah, Roger Dean. He’s fun.
My bed has five pillars.
Four corners and center?
My bed has five pillars.
Four corners and center?
Two chicks and a well-hung dude.
Two chicks and a well-hung dude.
Only on my birthday.
Thanks for pointing that out, Captain Obvious…
…people are usually the exact opposite of what they call themselves.
That is the main reason I need a new nym. In the world, I’m a warm and friendly person, not the least bit icy. I’m rarely snide, either. (I actually can crack a whip, however, but would never use it on a person or critter.) Also don’t want to be an imaginary apocalyptic substance or a cartoon villain.
The guys in the band are still undecided on our new name.
The guys in the band are still undecided on our new name.
Variance Therov. Nice Russian sounding name.
How about a nice Sadlynaught name, like “Gary and the Rupperts”.
OT-
Clarence Thomas says that he misunderstood the question on the disclosure form asking to list spousal income when he checked “None.”
Clarence Thomas says that he misunderstood the question on the disclosure form asking to list spousal income when he checked “None.”
He’s a right-winger. Maybe he believes black men are dumb.
“Anyone still think that man child Mohammedan Communist HUSSEIN Obambi is not taking the p*** out of naive, gullible , uneducated, ignorant , …”
Piss? Pack? Pr0n? Peen? POOP?
Clarence Thomas says that he misunderstood the question on the disclosure form asking to list spousal income when he checked “None.”
Good thing his job is to interpret much simpler things, like the law and the Constitution, otherwise we might have a problem.
Ladies and Gentlemen, one of your Supreme voices on interpretation of the law.
The guys in the band are still undecided on our new name.
I’m leaning towards Nymotoad.
Damn you Thread Bear! Beaten to the punch because I was too distracted finding a link. And making sure to close my tags. Fucking tags.
Clarence Thomas says that he misunderstood the question on the disclosure form asking to list spousal income when he checked “None.”
Well, yeah, she didn’t pay him a thing!
He’s a right-winger. Maybe he believes black men are dumb.
The fact is he has anecdata to support it as the one he knows best is.
Fucking tags.
You’re it!
Here’s a good one with some comedy value:
“Well regulated militia”
It always gets a big laugh at CPAC meetings.
it is raw emotion, harnessed to ideology, that puts viewers in the seats.
…thanks for telling us you are all full of shit…we wouldn’t have thought of it ourselves…
Clarence Thomas says that he misunderstood the question on the disclosure form asking to list spousal income when he checked “None.”
I can understand his confusion. He must have opened the drawer to her nightstand and realized she wasn’t coming when he was in.
Clearly, Thomas thinks it is better that Americans believe him to be stupid instead of dishonest.
Maybe he believes black men are dumb.
Nah, he learned this trick at the George W. Bush School of Management—and damned if it didn’t work for thirteen whole years!
Nice Russian sounding name.
I like the Russians!
True story: Once I was in the Watch Office when stuff was really popping in East Germany: GSFG put up four Temporary Restricted Areas for a big exercise; units were leaving garrison all over the place. (One of our concerns was the ‘standing-start’ invasion: They start maneuvers … and maneuver right across the border.)
After I finished posting the latest changes on the Big Map on the briefing stage, I paused near the Duty Officer, gazed at the map, and said, with evident appreciatation and sincere admiration: “I really like the Russians!”
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the Duty Officer do a double-take. I glanced over at him and delivered the punch line: “It’s just the Soviets I’m not too fond of.”
“Clarence Thomas says that he misunderstood the question on the disclosure form asking to list spousal income when he checked None “
He is completely justified in that. He has no spouse because Loving v. Virginia was unfairly decided and is thus an invalid decision
I ain’ got no spouse, I has a wife and da bitch better get me my muthafucking ice tea NOW!
Needs more high-tech lynching.
If you look at the Original Intent of the person who wrote the form, it was clearly to burn up hours until 5 PM came around. Clearly, and there is a wealth of case history to support this, the form was never intended for actual truthful answers.
“He’s a right-winger. Maybe he believes black men are dumb.”
And women belong in the kitchen.
Any official news on why Comcast wanted Olbermann gone?
discomfiting the Owners is always a firing offense.
it is raw emotion, harnessed to ideology, that puts viewers in the seats.
thanks for pointing out that you are all full of shite…we never would have thought of it otherwise…
it is raw emotion, harnessed to ideology, that puts viewers in the seats.
…oh, but you meant everybody but you, right?
Doesn’t he know that ignorance of the law is no excuse?
A Supreme Court Justice is ignorant of the law – think about that.
Olbermann should talk to Michael Moore, between them they probably have enough money to start their own cable network. Or else, there may be an open time slot on the Oprah channel.
it is raw emotion
that causes salmonella.
:
–
;
(
)
Raw emoticons.
Raw emus
Speaking of bifurcated PENIS, look here.
Raw emotions. Look at all the veiwers in the seats.
Speaking of bifurcated PENIS, look here.
You wouldn’t happen to have an email address for her, would you?
You wouldn’t happen to have an email address for her, would you?
No, but you can find her at the Office of Indian Affairs.
No, but you can find her at the Office of Indian Affairs.
I see what you do there.
I bet she’s very popular.
You wouldn’t happen to have an email address for her, would you?
I do, but I’m not sharing it.
I bet she’s very popular.
If I took a scalpel to my tongue, I’d be pissed if I wasn’t.
Apparently, a bifurcated PENIS is supposed to feel very nice to the receiver of said PENIS, but I’d be too scared to try.
Apparently, a bifurcated PENIS is supposed to feel very nice to the receiver of said PENIS, but I’d be too scared to try.
Where would you buy condoms for something like that?
AFAF.
The band needs suggestions!
I’m off to the library’s studio. Have fun.
Snoopy used to fly a Sopwith Camel, which is a form of flying bifurcated PENIS.
Where would you buy condoms for something like that?
Where else? From CONDOMMMMMMMMMMM MANNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
Where would you buy condoms for something like that?
Two small ones? I have no idea.
The band needs suggestions!
“Bifurcated Penis” should be right popular.
Should be, but likely isn’t.
Always think twice before you choose a new nym!!
I’m out of practice. I find myself imagining what the Goddamned Batman would look like with a bifurcated penis dangling beneath his utility belt.
If you had a bifurcated penis why would you need a utility belt?
It’s not inconceivable that the Sexy Batman is thusly equipped.
Clarence Thomas says that he misunderstood the question on the disclosure form asking to list spousal income when he checked “None.”
Well of course! He gets paid in money. It’s only Congressmen who get paid in wives.
If you had a bifurcated penis why would you need a utility belt?
He doesn’t have a wallet for the condoms.
I bow down before the FIVE Pillars!
naive, gullible , uneducated, ignorant , stupid Americans.
Sounds a little elitist to me.
Five adjectives, sounds more ISLAMOFASCIST@!!!!@! to me.
I bow down before the FIVE Pillars!
Quinfurcated penis reference?
Quinfurcated penis reference?
Starfish goatse.
EWWWW.
Clarence Thomas says that he misunderstood the question on the disclosure form asking to list spousal income when he checked “None.”
I didn’t realize Clarence Thomas could actually speak. I thought Scalia just put his hand up Thomas’ ass and worked his mouth like a ventriloquist puppet.
Quinfurcated penis reference?
HIs pants fit him like a glove.
HIs pants fit him like a glove.
So does a glove!
Clarence Thomas says that he misunderstood the question on the disclosure form asking to list spousal income when he checked “None.”
He thought it was questioning whether his spouse did internal.
“I didn’t realize Clarence Thomas could actually speak. I thought Scalia just put his hand up Thomas’ ass and worked his mouth like a ventriloquist puppet.”
The speaking part is just a bonus.
1) I’m going to fucking beat WP to death with a baseball bat in a minute here.
2) Obama to announce five year spending freeze. Why do we even bother…
2) Obama to announce five year spending freeze. Why do we even bother…
Cue wingnuts talking about “five year plans” in 3… 2… 1…
HIs pants fit him like a glove.
In Soviet Union, pants fit you. Wait a minute…
2) Obama to announce five year spending freeze.
Well, sorta. Not on defense, of course.
Jesus fucking CHRIST what the hell what the hell what the hell?
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to check on immigration requirements to Canada.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to check on immigration requirements to Canada.
Check out New Zealand. They really, really want non-insane immigrants.
N_B – Seriously? I may look into that after I get my Masters next year, I hear it’s beautiful down there.
Check out New Zealand. They really, really want non-insane immigrants.
Dammit! I’m out!
Also, there are no critical shortages of librarians.
Hands-down, the coolest people I have met on the Intertubes–besides N_B, of course–have been from NZ. Seriously. The nicest. The funniest. They grow ’em right over there.
Check out New Zealand. They really, really want non-insane immigrants.
Maybe I can move in above Smut’s garage, and be his “Fonzie”.
AYYYY, Mr. C!
Do you need a sponsor?
I take back everything, Mr. Dr. Clyde. Sir.
The problem is getting boots sticky enough to hold you onto the earth, yet unsticky enough that you can walk to the places with alcoholic beverages.
PENIS
PENIS
I would have expected that at Conservapaedia.
http://www.immigration.govt.nz/
“The problem is getting boots sticky enough to hold you onto the earth, yet unsticky enough that you can walk to the places with alcoholic beverages.”
Webbed feet and useless wings work for penguins.
Hey – they want structural engineers! And not architects! IT’S PARADISE!
The New Zealand Qualifications Authority is an important link in the immigration chain.
I want to be Another Kiwi and Smut Clyde’s kooky neighbor. And I want AK to find me more cool music like this.
With Smut Clyde already there, there is apparantly no need for a snarkologist. I’m guessing the beach bum position is already filled as well. I didn’t see it on the list, but perhaps they could use a sunset monitor.
There’s a shortage of pregnant artists! *packs bags*
Hey hey, I’m on the long term skills needed list!
I also didn’t see anything on the list for “person who looks very busy but is really just posting at Sadly, No! all day.” It looks like I’m gonna be stuck here in Wingnuttia after the Great Halfling Migration takes place.
I want to be Another Kiwi and Smut Clyde’s kooky neighbor.
Urkel kooky or Kramer kooky?
I also didn’t see anything on the list for “person who looks very busy but is really just posting at Sadly, No! all day.”
Nor was there anything about a need for alley bashers.
There’s a shortage of pregnant artists! *packs bags*
You’d probably also qualify under “Flat weaving”
I’m going to strive for either Larry from Three’s Company or “sassy, strong black woman.”
Apparently, there’s also a pressing need for a pig farmer, so DK-W can present evidence of how he handles his mom’s customers…
Check out New Zealand. They really, really want non-insane immigrants.
This should tell you something about the current level of sanity.
Present for VS.
This should tell you something about the current level of sanity.
Really? You’re saying this to a bunch of people who live in a country where a political movement named itself (at first) after the practice of taking a man’s testicles in one’s mouth?
I like this music from New Zealand.
I see there’s no need for musicians, manqué or otherwise, not even bass players. I thought everywhere needed bass players. I might could make it as an anaesthetist though an unconventional one.
Smut, VERY nice. I dig it. Y’all are two for two.
Apparently, there’s also a pressing need for a pig farmer, so DK-W can present evidence of how he handles his mom’s customers…
Ha ha. Very funneh. Apparently, there’s no shortage of whores, I guess cause your mom’s already moved down there.
Also not on the list:
Dragon-Kings
Motherfuckers
I guess I’m stuck in this frozen tundra socialest paradise. I guess I’ll have to hope that teh crazee stops at teh border.
actor212 said,
January 25, 2011 at 17:24
Yer missus shoah
Needs moar Blood Libel references.
VERY nice. I dig it.
Lead singer is also an artist, though no longer pregnant.
smut, I bookmarked that page, because I MUST HAVE that painting of the dress.
I guess I’m stuck in this frozen tundra socialest paradise. I guess I’ll have to hope that teh crazee stops at teh border.
BUILD THE BORDER FENCE!!
I MUST HAVE that painting of the dress.
Which one? The one in the foreground, or the back wall?
Foreground
Ah, this one. I think Peter Jackson bought it.
That fat hobbit-hugging bastard!