Cream-Colored Ponies and Ketamine Strudel

Oh, puhleez, Thers, do you think that the power of the SadlyNauts can be extinguished by chicken poop? Not so much, if by not so much you mean not at all. I was prepared earlier this week to bring out our big guns, but it would violate the conventions of war to retaliate with such force to such a lame volley. So I see your chicken poop and raise you one Pomplamoose — the untalented, drug-addled duo who reinforce their indie cred by singing Jingle Bells in Hyundai ads — here providing one of the worst recorded performances of one of the worst songs ever written.

PS: Even though Robin (“Eek, A Lesbian Looked at Me at the Gym!”) of Beserkley has, thanks to your votes, taken a commanding lead in the voting for the Grandississimo Conservative Blogeresseralla Supremo Diva de Plus Haute Qualité 2011 over at Gay Quisling, please remember to vote for her repeatedly to keep this lead in place.

 

Comments: 375

 
 
 

Now I know why God invented overdoses.

 
 

Now you are going to piss off the other SEB

To his credit he did introduce me to Tim Minchin

 
 

I hate Pomplamoose so much that I’m willing to take the heat. I hate them even more than I hate Flo on the Progressive Insurance commercials.

 
Enraged Bull Limpet
 

I prefer the Zappa version that’s now playing in my mind’s ear

 
 

Another Tim Minchin.

 
 

OH MY GOD IT TURNS INTO A SOAP COMMERCIAL.

 
Enraged Bull Limpet
 

Saponinane? I didn’t have the suds to endure more than about 45 seconds.

 
 

Okay, that was not even an interesting sort of bad. That was the sort of bad that requires repeated listenings of the Velvet Underground’s first album to counteract the awful, perky, unironic sincerity of their badness.

 
 

Thirty years ago, their career path would land them a gig on the Lawrence Welk Show. Indie Music my ass.

 
 

Tintin, I think you and Bouffant need to stage a Pomplamoose Hate-Off.

 
 

I find them as annoying as these guys

 
 

I listened for a whole 1:08.

Which was plenty.

I offer 15 seconds of wolfhounds running around as a palate cleanser.
~

 
 

perhaps the wolfhounds can poop on Pomplamoose.

 
 

…although I must confess I find the singer kind of cute.

 
 

…although I must confess I find the singer kind of cute.

Yes, but you have been dead and rotting for a while now.

 
 

Yes, but you have been dead and rotting for a while now.

Look, I didn’t say I liked the music.

 
 

I cannot wait for Robyn Berserker’s victory speech. I’m thinking a frilly evening dress, an inappropriate victory dance and an incoherent speech, hands clenched in fists of rage.

 
 

I’m gonna pretend to be a lesbian and undress her with my eyes while she gives it.

 
 

If anyone needs to get that Jingle Bells out of your head, this is the cure: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=De8ykmm_2_o

 
 

And who knew Gowron played bass?

 
the ugly hunchback reflecting a more mature patina
 

a frilly evening dress, an inappropriate victory dance and an incoherent speech, hands clenched in fists of rage.

There’s a Carnack ‘what is…..’ routine somewhere in there, but I’m not up to generating it.

Maybe something involving Lindsey Graham.

 
 

The fact is, here in the Heartland, we like our music and our women to be wholesome. I don’t understand what a nice girl like that is doing with a bearded hippie, but if she ditches him and comes out to Branson, she’ll have a long career ahead of her singing Pat Boone covers.

 
 

And I voted for Cassie, because in the Heartland, we appreciate a woman who puts an ironing board at the top of her wedding registry.

 
 

Hey, I asked for the cream pony strudel! Christmas = RUINED.

 
 

The video equivalent of nuking it from space, the only way to be sure: http://www.twitvid.com/ZEZFF

 
Enraged Bull Limpet
 

There’s a Carnack ‘what is…..’ routine somewhere in there, but I’m not up to generating it.

Don’t sweat it– I’m just glad that it was the last envelope.

 
 

Coltrane on soprano sax renders the most tolerable version of this song ever.

 
 

Worst songs ever written?
Just look at who’s covered it.

 
the ugly hunchback reflecting a more mature patina
 

crowd roars
rim shot
heyo

 
 

one of the worst songs ever written

After Tintin Twitted this about this last night & I, sadly, watched/listened, I was reminded that it was my mother’s favorite song, for whatever that’s worth.

And just to demonstrate how ahead of the curve I am (& as no one will link my sorry site):

Pomplamoose: “Pas Encore?” Jamais Encore Is More Like It

&

Great Minds Dep’t.

 
 

Is that a scarf or a hitching post?

 
Enraged Bull Limpet
 

*Snif* The mention of Carnac the Magnificent has me feeling nostalgic, which is always a danger at this broody time of year. Ah, but those were more innocent times…

 
 

Andy Axel beat me to it, but sadly, the version posted lasts only 10:36.

Disc 4 of _Live in Japan_ runs, iirc, 74″. After that, you will understand the brilliance of the song, even with the horror of its most common use.

 
Enraged Bull Limpet
 

Grrrrr: went and briefly listened again, and it’s obvious that they smugly think they’re being so fucking cleverly creative by switching between 5/4 and 3/4 time. Possibly the most annoying time-signature alternation yet devised.

 
 

I found an online review entitled Pomplamoose: your new favourite band.

Sheeit.

 
 

Disc 4 of _Live in Japan_ runs, iirc, 74?.

That would be the Spinal Tap version, I suppose.

 
 

Tintin is skirting dangerously close to Video War Crimes with this one.

Also, the weird soap commercial at the end seemed like a eerie deleted scene from Fight Club on quaaludes. I mean, was the smiling soap sister played by Helena Bonham Carter? And when can I expect the high-rises to blow up?

 
 

Although it’s not a manly thing, I still must go EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EEWEW EEEW EEEEEEWWWWW EWEWEWEWEWEW EEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWW EW EEEEEEEEW EWWWWWWWWW EW EWEEEEWWWW EEEEWWWWWEWEEEEEEEEWWWWWWW EEWEWEWEWEW EW EW EEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWW EW EW EUUUUUUWWWWWW EW. EW .EW. EW. EW.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Being one of those primitives who doesn’t own a T.V., I’d never heard of these people before Monsieur Bouffant brought them to my attention.

Confusticate and bebother him!

 
 

Wow, she has a really sweet voice – & that’s why I had to stop the video after 1:22, when I began to feel the characteristic numbness & spinning head that immediately precedes a spontaneous diabetic coma.

Remember when the kids in rock bands weren’t all ultra-generic aspiring whores?

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Remember when the kids in rock bands weren’t all ultra-generic aspiring whores?

Some people think Pomplamoose should be seen and not heard, but I say, “Oh, Pomplamoose up yours!”

 
 

Ew.

 
 

Being one of those primitives who doesn’t own a T.V.

Righteous, B4. Wear it like a badge. I own one but only for watching DVDs.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

I think this song, with its anti-advertising theme, is an even better remedy for Pomplamoose.

 
 

I remember the Hyundai ads. I didn’t know this duo was an actual thing– I thought it was some misguided attempt to appeal to “hipsters”.

 
 

On the other hand, this has been a great public service for anybody who wasn’t quite sure what the word “twee” meant.

 
 

an actual thing

That’s debatable. It seems they mostly like to video themselves multi-tracking their drivel. I was horrified to discover they do exist as a combo & are not just lame actors.

San Franciscans are advised they’ll be at the Warfield soon. Tomatoes & eggs?

 
 

As in twee dull dumb.

 
 

the characteristic numbness & spinning head that immediately precedes a spontaneous diabetic coma.

So THAT is what I experienced!

 
 

Huh. I kind of liked “Another Day”. This puts them in completely different light, as in, “do they know what the f*** they’re doing???”

 
 

Righteous, B4. Wear it like a badge.

Wearing a Teevee like a badge seems a bit cumbersome.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

San Franciscans are advised they’ll be at the Warfield soon. Tomatoes & eggs?

Why the hell would you want to make these dinks an omelet?

 
 

Wearing a Teevee like a badge seems a bit cumbersome.

Not for a Big Bad Bald Bastard. (I’m guessing Paul Bunyan with an attitude.)

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Not for a Big Bad Bald Bastard. (I’m guessing Paul Bunyan with an attitude.)

I take my fashion cues from this guy.

 
 

Enraged Bull Limpet said,

December 30, 2010 at 3:46

I prefer the Zappa version that’s now playing in my mind’s ear

Surely you must be referencing something produced by Zappa that was performed by Larry Fisher.

 
 

Damn, all this manly-man rockist hate makes me want to like it, and i kinda do. Whaddya mean, one of the worst songs ever written?

 
 

i do hate the soap commercial, though.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Damn, all this manly-man rockist hate makes me want to like it, and i kinda do.

I wouldn’t consider myself rockist (though I cop to manly-uh-manliness), I think the problem is that these well-scrubbed, yet artfully disheveled, go-getters are pumping out product-pushing pablum of the blandest sort.

 
 

Here’s righteousness: I live in a one room + kitchen bunker, & have two telebision sets. Having one in the kitchen cuts down considerably on grease fires, things exploding in the microwave, & so on.

 
 

Music yes, crap no. That simple.

 
 

Sadly, Ew.

 
 

John Revolta said,

December 30, 2010 at 11:07

Sadly, Ew , Ew,, EEEEEEWWWWwww!

 
 

Catch that Neumann mic they’re using…letting these people near one of those is like giving a five year old an Uzi.

Man, the guy who figured out how to run pro tools on a home computer is going to have a lot to answer for in the next life.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Tax cuts, unjust wars, and contracts for cronies,
Providing rent boys for moralist phonies,
Making sure gay people can’t exchange rings,
These are a few of my favorite things.

 
 

 
 

I have to register my offense at the characterization of My Favorite Things as “one of the worst songs ever written.” I’m with Mama Bouffant on this one – I love this song, although my feelings about this particular version are somewhat different.

Some background – my dad loves musicals. Nothing he enjoys more than watching some golden age stuff with big sets and big numbers. When I was a child, one of our holiday traditions was to watch The Sound of Music together as a family. As a five year-old, I didn’t manage to follow the story very well, maybe also because I’d fall asleep sometime during the thing. Every year for probably a decade. And only once a year, right around Christmas time. I’m sort of programmed to love all things Sound of Music.

I can’t remember why we stopped watching it together, and I almost never see it now – but it still has warm and fuzzy associations for me. Makes me think of home.

Okay, that said – as a pacifistic lie-beral leftsist, I am working towards better feelings towards my fellow human beings – and so I don’t wish any harm to befall Pomplamoose. I just hope that they lose all interest in producing any more music. In a fire.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

I just hope that they lose all interest in producing any more music. In a fire.

Would your feelings towards Pomplamoose change if the Pomplamoose pixie were to become a mother?

 
 

“Tax cuts, unjust wars, and contracts for cronies,
Providing rent boys for moralist phonies,
Making sure gay people can’t exchange rings,
These are a few of my favorite things.”

I actually sang that to myself three times. B4 wins the internets today.

 
 

That is one extraordinary rendition by those Graepfrootz, who render poorly as they spell.

As to the song…people used to listen to the Coltrane version like they were getting a direct line from God. I’ll say now what I was afraid to then: I don’t care if Jesus Christ does it, it’s still a terrible song.

 
 

Happy New Year- best be in Oklahoma City. The San Francisco scene is just plane lame since Jerry died

Dresden Dolls with Pomplamoose, New Years EveDresden Dolls with Pomplamoose, New Years Eve – $35 (SOMA / south beach …
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Sorry, don’t hate that track. It’s My Favourite Things, what do you want, a death metal version? Meh.

 
 

… if the Pomplamoose pixie were to become a mother?</i?

Sorry for the late response, I had to give this one some serious thought (and have breakfast, and by breakfast I mean sex with someone's mother).

On the one hand, the zombie is right – she is kinda cute with that little turned up nose and those huge huge eyes. Kinda Bjork-like, but less weird. OTOH, if it weren't for that cute-ness, what are the odds that Pomplamoose would have gotten the exposure they did. Her adorability is the cause of much suffering. Then again, motherhood changes people. They have less time to wail arrythmically into a microphone.

As you can see, it is a tough and complex issue.

I guess I'd have to say that no – my position would be unchanged. They should stop making "music". With extreme prejudice.

 
 

Wow, tag fail. I guess I’m a bit rusty. I blame Obama.

 
 

You guys are wasting so much good hate.

 
 

acrannymint:

I hate you forever for that ISB link. I need two hours of this to counteract it.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

On the other hand, this has been a great public service for anybody who wasn’t quite sure what the word “twee” meant.

I can’t listen to the damn thing and I know that. Look how cute and white that girl is!

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Oh, Jesus, just the video with the sound off makes me want to puke.

And that girl does NOT play guitar.

 
 

I guess I’m a bit rusty.

I never figured you for a trombonist.

 
 

On the one hand, the zombie is right – she is kinda cute with that little turned up nose and those huge huge eyes.

She looks like Justin Bieber.

 
 

The song is fine. (Outside the context of the show it doesn’t make as much sense, but in context it works brilliantly.) That performance typifies everything I hate about hipster art–the limpid, disaffected vocals, the Dezigner Grunge “it took me two hours to look this casual” visual aesthetic, the practiced effortlessness, just yicch.

 
guitarist manqué
 

I’m with luminous muse above. I rate for all things Coltrane except My Favorite Things which is always awful and sometimes cringingly hate inspiring.

 
 

If Justin Bieber had BOOBIES, guys would think he’s hot.

 
 

That performance typifies everything I hate about hipster art–the limpid, disaffected vocals, the Dezigner Grunge “it took me two hours to look this casual” visual aesthetic, the practiced effortlessness, just yicch.

The best way to deal with that feeling is to mug a few of them.

 
 

I never figured you for a trombonist.

I’m a mom-bonist.

 
guitarist manqué
 

I’m a mom-bonist.

Mombo mombo!

 
 

the untalented, drug-addled duo who reinforce their indie cred by singing Jingle Bells in Hyundai ads

Creepiest. Fucking. Ad. Of. Xmas.

Without peer. I can’t believe that shitty group with its creepy little signer and faux-hipster musicians got a national gig, unless you account for the Mason Reese factor.

 
 

I’m a mom-bonist.

Who you kidding? You’re a bonobo-bonist!

 
 

DKW in a parallel universe:
http://amultiverse.com/2010/06/22/have-you-seen-the-lungports-on-her/

or maybe in this universe, I couldn’t say.

 
 

in my defense, have you seen Jeff’s mom’s flange groove? It literally pulsates!

 
 

Admit it, Titin: This was all a Batman Gambit so you could dump on Pomplamoose. Well played, sir; well played.

 
 

“vs said,
December 30, 2010 at 16:31

Actual indie carol cover done right”

Erm, that was in reference to the Jingle Bells cover.

 
 

Actual indie carol cover done right

“The Bird And The Bee”?

Really?

They should have kept to form and renamed the carol “The Carol of the Balls”…

 
 

This was all a Batman Gambit so you could dump on Pomplamoose

I’m assuming the chick has less than adequate grapefruits….

 
 

Yeah…well, anyway, I think it’s lovely.

This song doesn’t bother me so much, though I can definitely understand how it wouldn’t be to everyone’s taste.

 
 

This song doesn’t bother me so much, though I can definitely understand how it wouldn’t be to everyone’s taste.

You talking about your post or Grapefroots?

Cuz one of the things that is eerie to me about Froots is the fact the stupid chick can’t look straight at the camera, like I’m some secret she’s keeping from her Marine colonel daddy.

 
 

I’m talking about pompalnoose or moose or whatever.

 
 

Ham sings to vegetable.

Ethel Merman was Aquaman’s drag nom de plume.

 
 

I’m talking about pompalnoose or moose or whatever.

Right. The Grapefroots.

 
 

the stupid chick can’t look straight at the camera

The crucial seduction at 0:15 was missed. You can briefly imagine SHE IS YOURS.

 
 

Buying bread from a man in Brussels
He was six foot four and full of muscles
I said, “Do you speak-a my language?”
He just smiled at me and gave me a Ketamine sandwich
And he said,

“I come from a land down under
Where beer does flow and men chunder
Can’t you hear, can’t youuuuu…………clonk..

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

These are the best indie covers of Christmas carols. Most of them, anyway.

And this one, too.

And, yes, one could say that my boyfriend Sufjan Stevens is “twee,” but he’s also talented and not, you know, a whore.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

The crucial seduction at 0:15 was missed. You can briefly imagine SHE IS YOURS.

I saw that. UUUUUUUUUUUUUGH.

That was a total jerkoff video for 13-year-old hipster wannabe boys.

 
 

Mmmm… Ketamine Strudel

 
 

The crucial seduction at 0:15 was missed.

You mean when she inhales?

 
 

That was a total jerkoff video for 13-year-old hipster wannabe boys.

Indeed. Pomplamoose is a machine built to sell shit. The car ad was a natural.

 
 

So Robin of Berkley is pretty much a slam dunk for Blogzera?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Indeed. Pomplamoose is a machine built to sell shit. The car ad was a natural.

See, I’ve never seen the car ad. It’s a little depressing that Adorable Twee Indie Rock is now used for marketing.

I blame Juno.

 
 

You mean when she inhales?

0:20. It seems the flash player will give different timings when you go back and forth in the video and reload and such.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Oh, god. She even has a giant scarf.

 
 

Christine O’Donnell on the teebee dis morning shoving aside the other Goopers on the cross. “This criminal investigation is a witch hunt!”

Couldn’t resist.

 
 

Pomplamoose kicks ass.

 
 

“This criminal investigation is a witch hunt!”

I loved how, without missing a beat or batting an eyelash, she lumped Soros in with “establishment Republicans”.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

You should suffer along with America, T&U

Oh, fuck, I did see that at Thanksgiving! I drank to forget it!

 
 

American indie bands hide their selloutiness by selling out to Canadian phone companies. One of the many ongoing scams that predate Juno (which I liked, and which had Kimya Dawson songs I liked).

 
 

Remember to respect and obey:

 
 

Pomplamoose kicks ass.

I’ve heard catchier ring tones.

From T-Mobile.

 
 

Remember to respect and obey:

That’s……hmmmmm

What would a mix of scary and sad be? Scad? Sary?

 
 

Scard.

 
 

Y’know, TinTin, I realize this might invoke M.A.D. between you and Thersites, but, um, you could always launch a Yanni bomb….

 
 

Pomplamoose kicks ass.

That is simply terrible. There is no sense in which that is better than the original “Beat It” (which I don’t much like in any case).

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 



*sob*

One of the many ongoing scams that predate Juno (which I liked, and which had Kimya Dawson songs I liked).

Yeah, I mean, Of Montreal did an Outback Steakhouse commercial, and there have been a couple of commercials featuring Postal Service songs. I thiiiiiiiiiink I heard a Wolf Parade song on a commercial once, too.

I actually don’t give a shit about that, really. It’s this ultra-commercial, bland bullshit that rips off more talented artists and subcultures. Not that that’s not a normal and natural part of the American marketing process.

 
 

Scard.

Well, that’s what *I* am after watching that authoritay video, but I mean what emotions does it evoke?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

That is simply terrible. There is no sense in which that is better than the original “Beat It” (which I don’t much like in any case).

I can’t even hear it. The videos make me want to stab my eyes out. The tiny piano fucking pisses me off more than you can even imagine.

And, yeah, I don’t blame Juno per se (although I think it was a horrible movie), but I do think its popularity had something to do with the Rise of Twee.

 
 

It’s this ultra-commercial, bland bullshit that rips off more talented artists and subcultures. Not that that’s not a normal and natural part of the American marketing process.

What’s your point?

 
 

“…the limpid, disaffected vocals…” There it is, tommytimp, the quality that annoys me so thoroughly. It seems like the trend in commercials these days is either a disaffected replicant-type style, or a grotesque, over-the-top, mugging-it-to-death effect (like maybe those Burger King bits – whoever does the military breakfast death march spot). I join the “Ewww” chorus. But I am feeling benevolent, so I wish that the Lord or Lordess will bless and keep Pamplymouse – far away from the telebision and my poor ears.

 
 

Yeah, what is your point?

 
 

I join the “Ewww” chorus. But I am feeling benevolent, so I wish that the Lord or Lordess will bless and keep Pamplymouse – far away from the telebision and my poor ears.

Our Lady of Insipid.

 
 

What’s your point, eh?

 
 

I’m not sure either

 
 

Look, I wasn’t the first guy to do it, okay?

 
 

Yew pratainders wi’ yer markaten poosh frum yer bland A&Rrrrrrrrrrrrrr men…

 
 

Didn’t Volkswagen do a lot of indie mining with the bug launch? And of course iPods… Oh and long ago people were pissed at the Del Fuegos doing a commercial for Miller beer. Egregious, that one. It wasn’t just selling the song to the beer company, they were in the commercial being representatives of The Heartland. Pomplamoose are apparently representatives of The Hipsterland (meaning upper-middle-class white kids who are scared by loud noises).

 
 

You stay out of this, you Nancy boys!

 
 

Didn’t Volkswagen do a lot of indie mining with the bug launch?

I know Michelob Ultra uses Shine On by The Kooks in their ads. Actually a fairly effective blend of music to imagery, with Lanceroids Armstrong mountain biking and shit.

 
 

All of the artists commenting above make better music than Pomplamoose, with the possible exception of Vanilla Ice. But none fit in the “indie” bin. To be honest I dunno if the offenders at the top of the post do either. Not investigating.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Pomplamoose are apparently representatives of The Hipsterland (meaning upper-middle-class white kids who are scared by loud noises).

Nah, I think I’d call them more representatives of the Sweet Indieland. Which includes upper-middle-class white kids who are scared by loud noises. The bands are mutant bastard children of bands like The Decemberists.

 
 

All of the artists commenting above make better music than Pomplamoose, with the possible exception of Vanilla Ice.

Avril Lavigne?????????

 
 

What?

 
 

Avril Lavigne?????????

Absolutely. And I hate her.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

WOW.

 
 

Hmmm. There is a huge difference, I think, between selling rights for a song you already did, knowing it will be used for a commercial that might be very very silly, and between doing twee limpid shit specifically for an ad. But anyway, people gotta eat and pay the rent. This is why I thank God, on account of She allowed the invention of the mute button. I should probably go sacrifice some small burnt vegetables.

 
 

The annoying thing about the commercials is, I’m njot sure what Hyundai is trying to sell me.

I mean, I get that by using an indie band, they’re marketing their cars as cheaper knock offs of cars by Toyota and Honda (which are themselves simply cheaper versions of their Lexus/Acura lines) and thus selling to first time car buyers, but I see these ads in really inappropriate time slots for hipsters, like the 6A-fucking-M news.

 
 

I should probably go sacrifice some small burnt vegetables.

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm, grilled asparagus….

 
 

I think it is safe to describe those people as “multiuntalented.”

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

but I see these ads in really inappropriate time slots for hipsters, like the 6A-fucking-M news.

Real hipsters ride fixies, anyway.

 
 

Real hipsters ride fixies, anyway.

Messenger chic? Or just an admission that their career choice was either that or soda jerk?

 
 

inappropriate time slots for hipsters, like the 6A-fucking-M news.

Hey! Thats when I’m having my Wheetabix and Bosco.

 
 

doing twee limpid shit

TOTALLY naming my next indie rock band this.

 
 

Thats when I’m having my Wheetabix and Bosco.

Yea, but I’m a dad to a 20-something, so I know that’s a before bed snack!

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Messenger chic? Or just an admission that their career choice was either that or soda jerk?

I guess. I think it’s a way to show your badassitude and carelessness, I guess. Also, they’re easy to maintain on your own so you have more money to spend on cigarettes and PBR instead of bike shop work.

Also, even I’ll admit that a lot of them can look really good. Although BRAKES PEOPLE WHAT THE FUCK?

 
 

Twee hipster annoyance and little fascists. I think I go vomit now.

 
 

had something to do with the Rise of Twee.

Live At Leeds is proving to be a surprisingly effective antidote.

 
 

I was reading about how Honda has discontinued its boxy Element car. It seems that it was thought up, built, and targeted to a demographic that never in a million years would have wanted it. The whole thing was planned and deployed from the office, without any actual input from people on the line or in the field.

They wanted young men to love it, because it was so sturdy and could carry their snowboards or surfboards, and you could just hose out the interior when it got all funky from your gear and your beer. (The preceding was an homage to Pastor Swank.) But it is a nice little box with wheels, and it appeals to practical older folks like me, because it’s great for ferrying around dogs and stuff from Restoration Hardware or Home Depot or Trader Joe’s.

The point is that this is why twee faux-indie rock ads pop up during the morning shows and Judge Judy or whatever – it’s guys in an office with their minds in neutral. Shut up and shop. Using what, says I. Cash money I no longer have? Just shut up.

 
 

Live At Leeds is proving to be a surprisingly effective antidote.

Heh. I’m listening to White City.

 
 

Although BRAKES PEOPLE WHAT THE FUCK?

In college I took the brakes off my bike, for non-functionality. I never locked it up around campus, and eventually someone took it. I found it abandoned a couple of blocks away, too dangerous for even bike thieves to ride.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Larkspur, it’s sort of the same thing with the Scion line. They were targeted at a younger demographic, but older people like them because they’re low to the ground and can carry a lot of stuff but aren’t huge and get good gas mileage.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

In college I took the brakes off my bike, for non-functionality. I never locked it up around campus,

Proto hipster!

 
 

ZRmD, you was smart from the get-go, yes.

 
 

You are playing their game when you hate hipsters publicly. And you are losing. How much do you sound like your parents hating punk or you grandparents hating hippies right now? Hipsters are the wave of the future. In 20 years there will be hipster nostalgia. You want to beat hipsterism? Invent a more relevant aesthetic.

These people generally speaking, aren’t wearing secondhand clothes and playing ukuleles because that is their chosen medium, they are doing it because they are broke as shit. Give them good careers and a future and we will get some music that is listenable and fashion that is wearable.

 
 

older people like them

HAH!

When you sell me a car using fucking animated hamsters, I can guaran-damn-tee you I’m buying a Subaru instead.

 
 

T&U, maybe this particular aspect of the disconnect is related to the fact that corporations just don’t have that many field and line people any more. Like in publishing, there used to be lots of actual proofreaders – it was kind of a foot in the door to publishing. Or back when I was a paralegal: there used to also be receptionists and secretaries and file clerks.

Then, computers and voice mail! and they decided that they didn’t really need receptionists and secretaries and file clerks, at least not individually, so they cheerfully assigned me to be the paralegal who did receptionist, secretarial, filing, coffee-making, office-managing tasks, because, look, computers! How hard could it be? Then my head exploded. I think they had to actually hire someone to get my branes out of the carpet. Prolly took weeks, and that shit isn’t billable.

 
 

You mean they’re real? I thought that was central casting’s idea of what indie looked like.

 
 

77 –

You’re right. I usually ignore styles and genres that I don’t like. It’s not about good or bad, it’s about taste; if I don’t like hipster fashion or current indie music, why annoy myself and sound like John McCain delawning youngins in the process? Having said that, sometimes it actually is about suckitude – such as Pampersmouse, or the Monkees, or Wagner.

 
 

These people generally speaking, aren’t wearing secondhand clothes and playing ukuleles because that is their chosen medium, they are doing it because they are broke as shit. Give them good careers and a future and we will get some music that is listenable and fashion that is wearable.

Two words: Haight Ashbury

Hippies.Those folks were broke and wore torn jeans and hip length hair not because it was fashionable but because they were broke. And stoned.

And they came up with….ohhhhhhhhhhhhh, the Grateful Dead, Jefferson Airplane, Moby Grape, the Doors…

 
 

77south, you are over-generalizing my objections. I’m referring to the proffered example by Pamplmouse.

 
 

Rise of Twee

:click:

Oh, Spengggggggggggggggggglerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

 
 

Pamplmousse ought to be stomped by moose.

 
 

Of course, what old person doesn’t sigh wistfully while reminiscing about Strawberry Alarm Clock.

 
 

Of course, what old person doesn’t sigh wistfully while reminiscing about Strawberry Alarm Clock.

Tangerine Dream….*sigh*

 
 

what old person doesn’t sigh wistfully while reminiscing about Strawberry Alarm Clock.

That wasn’t a sigh dear.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

These people generally speaking, aren’t wearing secondhand clothes and playing ukuleles because that is their chosen medium, they are doing it because they are broke as shit. Give them good careers and a future and we will get some music that is listenable and fashion that is wearable.

Most of the hipsters I know of are actually wealthier kids who are ripping off artists/musicians/writers who actually are poor.

And there’s plenty of music made by people without a lot of money that’s good. And a lot of indie designers who are good. Plenty of alternative cultures exist that involve music, vintage clothes, making do with less, etc, etc, that don’t involve hipsters.

And if not bathing, being a pretentious douche, and acquiring herpes is the wave of the future, I want nothing to do with it.

 
 

77south, you are over-generalizing my objections. I’m referring to the proffered example by Pamplmouse. I never said specific bands couldln’t suck, I’m saying the ‘hipster phenomenon’ as a whole is valid and culturally relevant.

And they came up with….ohhhhhhhhhhhhh, the Grateful Dead, Jefferson Airplane, Moby Grape, the Doors… and 10,000 bands you never heard of or forgot because they stank on ice. Think of hipsterism as hippies + youtube. In 20 years there will be hipster musicians who are nearly universally praised as being as good or better than those bands you mentioned. We just don’t know who they are yet, because we aren’t tuned in to the scene, so we will have to wait while fans and music critics point us towards the good stuff and throw away the 90% of everything which is crap.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

T&U, maybe this particular aspect of the disconnect is related to the fact that corporations just don’t have that many field and line people any more.

I agree. When you don’t involve people who actually have contact with everyday people, you run into problems.

 
 

And there’s plenty of music made by people without a lot of money that’s good. And a lot of indie designers who are good.

The more I think about the hippies, the more I get annoyed at the hipsters.

Hippies were angry. They were thrown out of the house by crew cut dad while mom looked on anxiously. They were tormented by society, subject to the draft, and generally mocked incessantly.

And out of that anger, they grew some pretty potent cultures.

What do hipsters have to be angry at? They sound more annoyed than anything else and it shows in the twee music and twee fashion and twee twunks.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

See, I think the problem here is that I see hipsters as a very specific subculture with very specific types of people in it, whereas I think a lot of people conflate indie (for lack of a better word) culture with hipsterism.

As someone who is “indie,” that bugs the shit out of me.

 
 

When you don’t involve people who actually have contact with everyday people, you run into problems.

People
People who employ people
Are the luckiest people in the world

 
 

I’m sorry, 77, I just don’t see great music coming out of “My latte was cold and she put whole milk in it!”

I might be wrong, but for the sake of music and art, I hope I’m not.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

What do hipsters have to be angry at? They sound more annoyed than anything else and it shows in the twee music and twee fashion and twee twunks.

That’s what I’m saying. Most hipsters are non-New York transplants who at least have enough money to gentrify Williamsburg.

We have a pretty big hipster subculture here, and honestly, I don’t see much coming from them except sandwiches.

 
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

You are playing their game when you hate hipsters publicly. And you are losing. How much do you sound like your parents hating punk or you grandparents hating hippies right now?

I’m trying to stay self-aware about this, which is part of why I don’t weigh in on music threads much. My fellow GenXers on Facebook are starting to sound distressingly get-off-my-lawnish, and it’s sad to see in more ways than just meaning I’m getting old.

 
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

That said, does anyone self-identify as “hipster”? I’ve only ever heard it used as an insult toward somebody else.

 
 

That said, does anyone self-identify as “hipster”?

My mother, discussing her upcoming hip replacement.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Well, and let’s be honest, a lot of hippies were self-entitled middle/upper-middle class white kids, too. There was a little bit more consciousness there, but it was mostly about fucking and doing drugs.

 
 

Well, and let’s be honest, a lot of hippies were self-entitled middle/upper-middle class white kids, too.

Absolutely, and they absolutely made shite art, too. Nehru jackets, anyone?

 
 

This is one of those times I’m glad to be part of a nameless cohort. By two weeks, I’m counted as a Boomer rather than Gen X, but the boom in Boomers is ten years or more older than me. The best cultural reference to people my age is actually Victoria Williams’s “Summer of Drugs.”

 
 

By two weeks, I’m counted as a Boomer rather than Gen X, but the boom in Boomers is ten years or more older than me.

Right. I like to measure the Boomers as those people who actually had to worry about the Vietnam draft, which excludes people our age.

 
 

What do hipsters have to be angry at? They sound more annoyed than anything else and it shows in the twee music and twee fashion and twee twunks.

Ever watch a foreign hipster band on the tubez? Can’t understand them but I notice they’ve got the fashions, the pouts, the attitudes down pat. Plus they’re cutely grungy appearing.

Sure there were crap bands back in the day, there always is. What I think the difference between then and now is the big ones back then were musicians who performed, instead of hipster entertainers who entertain.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Absolutely, and they absolutely made shite art, too.

I’m quite sure there was this same discussion within that subculture, as well.

Also, honestly, I’m a stereotype and I’ll admit it. Luckily I’m really fucking cool, so I make up for it.

 
 

mostly about fucking and doing drugs.

What isn’t though?

 
 

What I think the difference between then and now is the big ones back then were musicians who performed, instead of hipster entertainers who entertain.

There’s a sort of evolution going on, too, and like scientific evolution, it’s slow and almost changes without notice.

Every decade has its big, music altering sound. In the 40s it was Sinatra, the 50s Elvis, the 60s the Beatles, the 70s disco (note that it’s gone from an artist to a band to a sound) and so on, such that you can’t really point to a game-changing artist in the ’00s who doesn’t sound like he or she could have been around in the 90s or the Teens.

Part of this, I think, is the acknowledgement that it’s no longer just about the music, but about selling records and that means not taking chances anymore. Tack onto that the importance of a “look” for your video and you end up with an awful lot of homogeniety.

 
 

That moose in the vid reminds me of Schroeder except that Schroeder could play.

 
 

“drug-addled”? Please, like most of the great music of the last fifty years wasn’t a direct product of drug enhanced minds. More likely, the problem is insufficient drugs.

 
 

Most of the hipsters I know of are actually wealthier kids who are ripping off artists/musicians/writers who actually are poor.

Same applies out here. The ones who think they’re musicians (the vast majority) are the worst. Most can’t read music at all, and it’s such derivative drivel that the most fun I have while listening is figuring out who they’re ripping off.

 
 

Please, like most of the great music of the last fifty years wasn’t a direct product of drug enhanced minds

Was, ummmmmmmmmmmm, oh yea, NOT!

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

such that you can’t really point to a game-changing artist in the ’00s who doesn’t sound like he or she could have been around in the 90s or the Teens.

Well, it depends on what you mean by “game-changing.” If you mean “commercially successful,” then probably not (although I would argue that Radiohead’s music in the last 10 years couldn’t have been made in the 90s).

There are a few bands/artists that I would consider influential that have new and interesting sounds. Do they define the last decade? No, but I think that’s because the variety of media and ways of accessing them that we have make it more difficult for any one particular genre to define a decade.

 
 

Well, it depends on what you mean by “game-changing.”

I think the examples I cited are pretty clear. I’m not talking about “artistes” I’m talking about folks or movements that combined new music forms with success. After all, perhaps the most artistic bands of the past forty years, from Velvet Underground to Radiohead, probably sold fifty million albums combined.

 
 

“Right. I like to measure the Boomers as those people who actually had to worry about the Vietnam draft, which excludes people our age.”

I was starting to worry in 75 that the war would still be going next year when I would turn 18. . I had no doubt I’d get a student deferral (at worst, I’d have suck cock in public or something) but my friends were certainly getting edgy from thinking about it.

 
 

my friends were certainly getting edgy from thinking about it.

That they’d have to suck cock in public, or that you would?

 
 

The Bobs said,
December 30, 2010 at 18:43

“drug-addled”? Please, like most of the great music of the last fifty years wasn’t a direct product of drug enhanced minds. More likely, the problem is insufficient drugs.

A reasonable hypothesis Consider: Syd Barrett is reputed to have been the only user among the Floyds.

 
 

Frank Zappa no drugs.

 
the ugly hunchback reflecting a more mature patina
 

As a white boomer bluesman wannabee, I think that I can fairly assert:

Your subculture sucks.

 
 

Keith Richards, no……….

 
 

Are we counting alcohol as a drug for this survey? Because there are a fair number of non-drug-using drunks.

 
 

From the Wki

The Baby Boom Generation is the generation that was born following World War II, about 1946 up to approximately 1964, a time that was marked by an increase in birth rates

Raises hand.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

After all, perhaps the most artistic bands of the past forty years, from Velvet Underground to Radiohead, probably sold fifty million albums combined.

I dunno, I think Radiohead’s sold around 30 million…

The aughts are going to be known as the Decade of Autotune.

 
 

The aughts are going to be known as the Decade of Autotune.

Is it really that Sirius?

 
 

Donnie Osmond, no drugs…

 
 

Hmmmm, Substance may have a point.

 
the ugly hunchback reflecting a more mature patina
 

Good call Snort.
Keef’s book is pretty boring.

 
 

A pamplemoose bit my sister once…

 
 

Did it turn her into a newt?

 
 

It’s money innit? The Trampled By Moose people are just trying to earn a living by being professional musicians and these days if you aren’t Lady Gaga but are technically good enough you probably think that this is the way to do it.
I am not a big fan of the starving artist as a career so iffen they do sell out for a car ad well, so be it. But don’t tell me it’s a culture beyond that of capitalism. It might have a label and all but it’s just sales.

 
Marion in Savannah
 

actor212 said,
December 30, 2010 at 17:29

Y’know, TinTin, I realize this might invoke M.A.D. between you and Thersites, but, um, you could always launch a Yanni bomb….

Good God, sir! Have you no decency? For the love of mercy, think of the children…

 
 

OBEY OUR SECRET LEADERS!

Just a reminder: If you haven’t yet cast your daily vote, here is the link:

http://www.gaypatriot.net/2010/12/24/grande-conservative-blogress-diva-2011/

Let’s give Robin the Ethel! (That sounds sort of kinky, don’t it? Maybe we can invent some new lesbian code?) Brave Robin leads by 582 votes and has 34%. She is still the only candidate in four digits. (Also sounds kinky, no?) With a solid GOTV effort, she might reach 2,000! So let’s think of our kids and grandkids: Go vote!

The lone GP commenter (of 51) to sense what’s going on:

This contest has been so transparently hijacked. How in the world would a couple of no-names like Robin of Berkeley and Clarice Feldman be so far out ahead in this poll? Over MICHELLE MALKIN?? [snip] So what’s up? I guess it’s not that hard to hire an astroturf outfit if you really want to win a popularity contest.

Also, Our Most Excellent and Secret Leaders need to know where to send the astroturf paychecks. I’m depositing mine in a Nigerian bank.

 
 

I’d never heard of them, but then I’m pretty much pop-culture ignorant. Not terribly interesting, but I like it that they do most of it in 5/4 rather than the standard 3/4. There’s a nice jazz version by someone or other (too lazy to look it up) that they’re probably modeling this after.

 
the ugly hunchback reflecting a more mature patina
 

Keef bought a Bentley to tool around in. Special hidey places for teh drugz.

 
 

I’m hearing a lot of hate coming from the “offa my lawn” and “sellouts make a mockery of pure purism” directions.

I’m of the right age and in almost the right location, but probably not in the right socioeconomic group to be a good hipster. I’m also not creative or cool enough to be a true indie music type. I’m not very impressed by white male rock or anti-consumer ethics, so I don’t much judge them for failing to rock hard enough or for making commercials. Also, their music is not to my taste.

Where’s MY parade?

 
 

Where’s MY parade?

In the Daily News on Sunday, right next to the comics.

 
 

In the Daily News on Sunday, right next to the comics.

Gosh, that Marilyn vos Savant is such a smarty.

 
 

More Two Minute Hate Fuel, anyone?

Wonkette brought up a certain “comic” who coined the term “hipstervative” a while back.

You’re welcome.

 
 

Serious analysis of the music, then: No, it doesn’t exactly light my match, but neither does it induce reflexive vomiting; YMMV. As a salvo in the ongoing war with Thers, I’d have to say it falls flat. “Mediocre” is not a particularly lethal weapon. I think the young lady has a passable, possibly even interesting voice, but running it through autotune (I assume) and multi-track self-harmonizing ends up making it sound robotic and soulless. I remember hearing the Hyundai ad from another room before actually seeing it, and being surprised that is was apparently being sung by a human being, rather than strictly (and poorly) computer-generated, as I had assumed.

 
 

Why, jim? Why?

I know you have sex, like to drink, love guns and cuss like a Rahm Emanuel. Me? I floated the Daily Caller’s keg, have a filthy mouth and almost blasted off my junk with a 410 once.

I’m good-looking and I’m rich and I have a rapist’s wit.

 
the ugly hunchback reflecting a more mature patina
 

we need a Sadly, No! song (or is there one already?)

Woke up this mornin, linked to NRO….

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Wonkette brought up a certain “comic” who coined the term “hipstervative” a while back.

That picture makes me never, ever, EVER want to have sex EVER again.

 
 

If that guy isn’t a serial killer…

 
 

re: Avril

I’m gonna stick up for my fellow Ontarian and either win her a bit of respect, or piss ya’ll off to no end.

 
 

I don’t have anything against Avril Lavigne. She’s perfectly fine at what she does, which is making punky-pop-y Top 40 music. “Girlfriend” is super-catchy and I just straight-up like “Hot.”

 
 

Where’s MY parade?

Rained on

SASQ

 
 

That picture makes me never, ever, EVER want to have sex EVER again.

I swear, that’s not one of my etchings.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I’m gonna stick up for my fellow Ontarian and either win her a bit of respect, or piss ya’ll off to no end.

Does slight annoyance count?

 
 

I floated the Daily Caller’s keg

*looking around the room*

The NEXT time any of your fucks calls me a perv, you just remember this shit, mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmk?

 
 

Dunno, how’d you feel about Avril before?

 
 

I don’t have anything against Avril Lavigne.

Apart from eleven inches, I can think of several things, including “posing”…

 
 

BTW, since this thread is all music-centric…if you want to know what your fellow S,N pervs think is romantic and/or sexy, here’s the answer they gave to that question on my blog:

Jennifer: “Let’s Get it On”–Marvin Gaye
zrm: “Ack Ack Ack” –The Minutemen
M. Bouffant–some old song Elvis
ITTDGY–“I Wanna Be Sedated”
Smut–““Deutscheland Ueber Alles”
DKW–“Stacy’s Mom”

 
 

The NEXT time any of your fucks calls me a perv, you just remember this shit, mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmk?

Totally. I’d do Jeffrey Dahmer before I’d do that guy. *shudder*

 
 

piss ya’ll off to no end.

Oh dear, I just found something else to hold against her.

WHO THE FUCK MAKES A COVER OF “IMAGINE” INTO A SONG ABOUT FUCKING?????????

What fucking marketing executive decided a racoon sitting at a piano in a set of puffy curtains singing a tremendously socially relevant song while fantasizing about sexing some hunter she traps in the woods WAS A GOOD THING?!?!?!?!??!?!?!

 
 

if you want to know what your fellow S,N pervs think is romantic and/or sexy

No one mentioned “Boom Boom Boom, Let’s Go Back To My Room”? “Don’t You Want Me, Baby”?

“IN A GADDA DA VIDA”?????????? HULLOOOOOOO??????

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Dunno, how’d you feel about Avril before?

I despise her. Also, I can’t actually hear what she’s singing. I’m assuming it’s “Imagine,” but apparently about fucking?

 
 

I’m assuming it’s “Imagine,” but apparently about fucking?

Imagine there’s no clothing.
It’s easy if you try
No condoms or pull outs
Semen to the max….

 
 

Why, jim? Why?

Because MUAHAHAHAHAHA, that’s why!

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Smut–”“Deutscheland Ueber Alles”

Did I LOL? Yes, yes I did.

 
 

I’ll put down “Imagine” by Avril Lavigne as actor’s new favorite doin’ it song.

 
 

Step off, y’all. I saw it first. I will be buying this because it perfectly illustrates what will be my approach to motherhood.

 
 

I’ll put down “Imagine” by Avril Lavigne as actor’s new favorite doin’ it song.

Only with you, dear. And only while you’re pregnant.

 
 

…aaaaaaaaaaaand if you get bored enough today, here’s a Porn Name Generator
and a Drag Name Generator

 
 

Porn Name Generator

Dass gangsta, ho! Bitch be frontin’ me????

 
 

Mine is NuPaul?

I’M JEWISH!?!?!?!??!?!

 
 

Erm, when I first clicked on the link it was a porn name thingie, I swear. Gangstas outwit me AGAIN with their street-smart ways.

 
 

I’M JEWISH!?!?!?!??!?!

Isn’t there a little Jew inside everyone?

Oh yeah. Totally just put the ball in the air right by the net…

 
 

Isn’t there a little Jew inside everyone?

Well, yea, but you’re not supposed to know that…

 
 

Totally just put the ball in the air right by the net…

Does hubby know?

 
 

For Vs.

 
 

The Original Gangsta Name Generator promised a name that was harder – one that would make Dragon-King Wangchuck seem boring.

Threepac Mint Flava

Uh – I think I’ll stick with D-KW.

 
 

I think “Dragon-King” is always going to be hard to top.

 
 

Threepac Mint Flava

Fuck, you’re a pack of vending machine chewing gum, dawg!

 
 

Hi Mum, my new image is a Gansta. Yeah, it’s cool. Could you call me Swingin’ Couch Bouncer form now on? Yeah, it’s a image change I had meaning to make since the University wants us to relate to the kids more. Yeah, well English Lit. has changed a bit lately.
Kthxbai

 
 

Yo yo! Flavaboyeeeeeeeeeeees, dis be my gangsta name, word!

 
 

Arrrrrrrrrrrr, dis be my pyret name, matey

 
 

Any of my dates calls me this, I’m gonna green egg crack smoke them, y’all

 
 

So I’m “Stupid-Ass Rhino Banga”

um, WHAT? I’d call that name stupid, but “stupid” is already innit. *massive eyeroll*

 
 

I think “Dragon-King” is always going to be hard to top.

Mothers everywhere know how hard Dragon-King is.

 
 

You don’t wanna know what my Mafia name is.

No, seriously! I don’t mean the stupid generated one, either.

 
 

Um, does this mean I want to have carnal knowledge of rhinos? ‘Cuz how did they know?

 
 

Mothers everywhere know how hard Dragon-King is.

Mom keeps calling you Cream Puff, but now I get it!

 
 

Mothers everywhere know how hard Dragon-King is.

Oh, yes. We do.

 
 

‘Cuz how did they know?

Ecko homo, ergo elk.

 
 

I think “Dragon-King” is always going to be hard to top.

Naw, not after a couple drinks.

 
 

Rhinos: Horny much?

 
John Cougar Baller
 

‘Nuff said.

 
 

When you sell me a car using fucking animated hamsters, I can guaran-damn-tee you I’m buying a Subaru instead.

The Kia Soul was the car with the hamster ads.

 
 

It is eerie how accurate the Mexican wrestler name generator is. In the future you can refer to me as:
El Vigilante sin Pantalones

 
 

The Kia Soul was the car with the hamster ads.

Fine. The Scion had nothing to do with hamsters. It still looks like a douchemobile.

 
 

That said, does anyone self-identify as “hipster”? I’ve only ever heard it used as an insult toward somebody else.

I haven’t even seen a good working definition of “hipster”, to be honest. I tend to figure (especially as an insult) that it means “trying too hard”– which may or may not have been what Norman Mailer meant when he coined the term for his essay “The White Negro”.

 
 

El Vigilante sin Pantalones

NO! QUIERE!

 
 

White Goat Smuggla?

Mickey Kaus gonna be all up in my grill for some hawt quadruped action now, bitchezzzz!

 
 

The first Scions always make me laugh. They’ve softened the outline a little bit in the last couple of iterations, but the early models looked like a minimalist cartoon version of a car, like something the Pink Panther might drive.

 
 

I’m going out to buy a Justin Bieber CD

Oh dear. Wingnuts are out to boycott Teh Biebster because of what he “said” in a fake pro-Park51 interview.

Irony: it’s not just fun … it’s educational, too!

 
 

Wingnuts are out to boycott Teh Biebster because of what he “said” in a fake pro-Park51 interview.

In a related development, they believe The Miz is really the best wrestler in the world because he holds the WWE championship….

 
 

Wingnuts, you can’t belieb everything you hear.

I wish I had made that joke first. I did not.

 
 

Then I saw her face, now I’m a Belieber!

/Monkees

 
 

Then I saw her face, now I’m a Belieber!

Daydream belieber and a homecoming queen…..

/ Monkees

 
 

Porn Name Generator

Mines Red Ruffensore.

 
 

Mines Red Ruffensore.

Look at it this way: you get a LOT of on-camera solos….

 
 

The tweak improves it, methinks.

 
 

Ummm, Popsy?

Krugman’s?

Really?

 
 

The tweak improves it, methinks.

I’d go with John Cougar Manscape, myself.

 
 

If you wanna talk about the neat stuff you got for Jesus Day, you can do so at my blog…and I’ve updated the comments thingie.

 
 

My Gangsta name of Defmaster Sparkle Pony didn’t work so well.

“Popsy, the perfect ice breaker for when you first meet your girlfriends parents!”

 
Enraged Bull Limpet
 

Popsy

So that’s the business he er, launched with the Nobel money?

 
 

You have a blog?

Aw, lets do baby pit-tures!

 
 

So that’s the business he er, launched with the Nobel money?

It was a blinding stroke of genius. I think he got the idea from your mom.

 
 

Oh, TinTin! Timmeh Graham is cranky again!

 
 

It was a blinding stroke of genius

Pum-puta-pum!

That’s funny.

 
 

That’s funny.

Shoulda heard the one I was going to tell about “seed money”

 
 

Wanna be amused/depressed? Check out the glibertardian in these comments on global warming: http://pandagon.net/index.php/site/comments/our_policies_are_working_oh_shit_blame_the_liberals/

 
 

I want Tintin to do the mark f-link Dennis Prager one…and Pup’s Loadpants one.

 
 

M. Bouffant–some old song Elvis

Oh, entirely unfair. (Waaaaa!) A country classic, just couldn’t be arsed to find a good version on YouTube, & didn’t know Elvis had made a demo of it, so I linked that!!

Not necessarily “sexy” (What kind of weirdo gets hot from hearing music, anyway?) but romantic, & as good an expalnation of love, if not lust as ever writ.

Here’s the guy who wrote it. Listen to the lyrics, Philistines!

 
 

vs said,
December 30, 2010 at 23:12

A-HEM

 
 

What kind of weirdo gets hot from hearing music, anyway?

Clearly, you’ve never put a Marvin Gaye record on in front of a fire…

 
 

What kind of weirdo gets hot from hearing music, anyway?

Actually, the kind I’d like to date 😉

 
 

It’s really not about that, M. Havent you ever found a song sexy or wistful or romantic?

 
 

actor, I was directing people to that commenter, specifically.

 
 

Havent you ever found a song sexy or wistful or romantic?

Wistful, yes. (As linked above.) Romantic, maybe. But makes me hot when I wasn’t before (i.e., pornographic) no.

 
 

I’m not sure a song has ever gotten me hot…but there are certainly some songs that remind me of sexytime..mostly these are all tied up with my romantic/wistful feelings, though.

 
 

Try this out for size, folks.

And remember, folks , the Andrew Sisters once did a song based on Khatachtarian’s Sabre Dance, so enough with the purity bullshit.

 
 

mostly these are all tied up with my romantic/wistful feelings, though.

My romantic/wistful feelings are when I’m all tied up.

 
 

the Andrew Sisters once did a song based on Khatachtarian’s Sabre Dance

So did Neil Diamond, so your point is kinda lost on me.

 
 

I thought Neil Diamond only had one song that he sung louder or faster or slower and quieter in different versions.

 
 

Andrew Sisters?

 
 

.ohhhhhhhhhhhhh, the Grateful Dead, Jefferson Airplane, Moby Grape, the Doors

That’s quite an indictment of hippie music.

The worst thing about Pomplemoose is that they covered Beyonce and had the temerity to insult her lyrics in the cover. I’d expected to hear reports of their sundered bodies discarded in the San Francisco bay, but I suppose Sasha Fierce works in more subtle ways. In any case, they’re doomed.

I live in Portland, I’m in my twenties, I wear thick-framed glasses, I have friends who knit, I have a friend with a fixie, and we all think Pomplemoose is terrible. Take that as you will.

 
 

“Mr. Sandman/Bring me a ‘lude …”

The quick cutting of Nataly’s face is epilepsy-inspiring. And has eliminated any vague feelings of Nataly-lust, just as well as I am certainly old enough to be her father, & now gladder than ever I haven’t reproduced.

Also hoping that mole above her lip is, as they say, malignant.

 
 

Also, actor, do not lump The Doors into the Haight.

Real music comes from L.A.

 
 

Real music comes from L.A.

When GNR first came out it seemed as if they would conquer the world.

 
 

GNR: Sunset Strip hair-farmers.

 
 

“Tax cuts, unjust wars, and contracts for cronies,
Providing rent boys for moralist phonies,
Making sure gay people can’t exchange rings,
These are a few of my favorite things.”

I actually sang that to myself three times. B4 wins the internets today.

…with a perfect 10 from the East German judge, too!

 
 

Hows about an edumacation? I know most of the SF bands from the Haight days. Any specific LA bands beside the Doors.

 
 

I hate you forever for that ISB link. I need two hours of this to counteract it. Sorry OTB that is just as bad to me.
I do have to thank the friends who like ISB for introducing me to Guided by Voices, Swell, Sonic Youth, Spirtualized, Underworld among others

 
 

Tangerine Dream….*sigh*

I actually saw them in concert. The friend I was with at the time turned to me and said “Wow, they actually play real instruments”

 
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

I live in Portland, I’m in my twenties, I wear thick-framed glasses, I have friends who knit, I have a friend with a fixie, and we all think Pomplemoose is terrible. Take that as you will.

Thank you! Always nice to hear from actual young people in threads where young people are being discussed.

I still don’t have a good idea of who’s a “hipster” and who isn’t – so to sort of answer Actor’s question above – “What do hipsters have to be angry at?” I can’t say, but young people certainly have plenty to be pissed about. e.g. six-figure debt for a college education, the degree that might have earned them a job that’s now outsourced, etc. etc. and all the generations that caused all the shit have to say about it is “your music sucks.”

 
 

Comment from DA/FOLKS link.

It’s nice to see that this fairly talented musician was able to construct a Justin Beiber lookalike robot to sing and have hot gay sex with. He certainly lost any integrity he might have had as a musician by selling out and doing lame Hyundai commercials and singing other peoples 200 year old songs. But the robot seems fairly lifelike, even if it doesn’t blink. Perhaps? the robot sex is a comfort for his failed dreams.

Richardatf 41 minutes ago

Hii-yooo!

 
 

I should probably go sacrifice some small burnt vegetables.

I sacrifice small winged insects. The gods of baseball savor sacrifice flies.

 
 

“Hows about an edumacation? I know most of the SF bands from the Haight days. Any specific LA bands beside the Doors.”

The Byrds. Buffalo Springfield. Beach Boys. Mamas and Papas. David Crosby et al.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I live in Portland, I’m in my twenties, I wear thick-framed glasses, I have friends who knit, I have a friend with a fixie…

So you’re totes not a hipster. Unless I’m one. Shit.

At least I’m thirty?

 
 

Mothers of Invention. Love. Beefheart/Magic Band.

Best punks were from L.A., too.

 
 

I’ve been reading the comments because I love you fuckers, but have not clicked on a single link. Because timeholes and awfulness lurk at every turn.

However, re: the generational “kids listen to such crap these days” thing, I think there’s a much, much bigger picture happening right now. Bold thesis follows. We’re in a period when the tools are leaping forward, and artists are responding by learning them, which I think cuts into the actual aesthetic innovation that can occur.

In the 50’s we saw the end of what many arts could do, in a very real way: in painting, for example, with action art, color fields, op art, etc. we literally ran out of things that remained to be done with the medium. There are people doing good things today, but not new things. It’s all refinements or riffs or explorations of existing approaches. Sculpture, same deal. The tools are getting upgraded, but there’s nothing being produced today that hasn’t got a close analog in the 20th century somewhere.

Music is in a similar place. The 20th century saw the appearance of jazz and its children, rock and its kids, the maturation of the blues, atonal music, electronic music, all kinds of weird tunings and theories, plus of course recording technology that went from wax to digital in 100 years…

…My point (yes, I had one, fuck off) being that right now we have all these tools and techniques, all these shiny things built up during the enormously innovative 20th century, and now we have to subside for a while and kind of digest it. We have to get familiar with the materials, build up new norms, new traditions. Only then can we tear it all down and invent new things again. That can take decades or centuries. Music, for example, frequently finds a groove and stays in it for several centuries on end, if you look at the historical record. Another painting example: perspective gets rediscovered in the Renaissance. All of a sudden it’s all perspective, all the time. Painting didn’t move past it until cubism hit the scene.

So basically expect things to be kind of derivative and unclever, if pleasing, for a while. Like maybe 300 years. Then we’ll get some funky new beats.

 
 

Tangerine Dream….*sigh*
I actually saw them in concert.

In one of their recognisable incarnations, or just Edgar Froese + session musicians?

 
 

Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,

December 31, 2010 at 0:22 (kill)

There will never be a time when oldsters stop making up excuses to try to cover up for the fact that they hate youngsters for their youth. I’m sure the hipsters of today are onto the people that hate them too. I bet that makes those PBRs taste that much better. Also, they’ve got lots of great new music to listen to so they’re justified in throwing up fingers for that reason to.

 
 

BOOOO-GERRRRR!!!

 
 

“…the limpid, disaffected vocals…”

Amen! I was trying to put my finger on that the other night.

re:
upper-middle class white kids scared of loud noises

Yep.

As I thought about this gal, this cute, but seemingly medicated, or a just plain timid and bland woman, I had to ask myself, what is it inside myself that is having such a bad reaction to her singing? What is it about her singing that I…

I’ve got it, the issue is, WWJLS? What Would Johnny Lydon Say? For there was a singer who was not afraid to engage and offend. He might declare Pomplamoose to be NO FUN.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5nkaJutE0Cw

Have ya ever had the feelin’ you’ve been cheat-ed?

Jim, bless you for the X-Ray Specs linky. That’s an example of un-snoozy music, too.

(shake fist, get off my lawn, you goddamned kids, etc etc.)

 
 

re. Scions & Honda Elephants

One problem the automakers had was knowing who was really driving these. Much of their data is based on who is doing the buying, and lots of youngsters nowadays are leaning on their parents, because their parents are creditworthy. Yep, lots of credit card offers tossed at college kids have fucked them up. (Insert grumble here about how manufacturing of real things is having trouble selling real things because the F.I.R.E. sector of the economy has taken/is taking so many consumers for a usurious ass-ride.)

And, lots of kids nowadays just can’t afford cars. Economy and whatnot in these past… uh, decades.

So yeah, a lot of oldsters flocked to the cubey things out of convenience, but it may not have been as bad as the basic stats looked. Some just had their name on the bank loan/purchasing paperwork.

Another reason to dump the Honda Elephant: it’s been around many years now, maybe more than you’d realize. It has served its purpose. The CR-V has developed a loyal crowd. (Dumping something that’s not selling is a good idea, make Detroit joke here.)

Oh, and lots of Honda people are bland and timid and were askeered of the Element. Hence the CR-V developing a loyal following.

 
 

I’ve been wondering about the fact that I find the Pomplamoose act so irritating, and I think it comes down to the fact that this is the diametric opposite of edge, or sharpness- it’s a relentless dullness. It’s like a heavily sedated psych ward, slow and thick and unengaged.

People used to make fun of Richard and Karen Carpenter for the same reason, but I think they actually had a voice; something to say. Though you might not have agreed with it.

 
 

Last add: I’ve met dairy cows with more life in their eyes than that woman. Frightening, really.

 
 

I heard some Carpenters on the muzak in the crapper last week. A Christmas song, it was. It was pretty nice, actually. They were working hard at making pleasant music, and they were good at it. Then again, I’m not ashamed of the 70’s.

Pampered Moose, well, they’re working hard at being dull and bland, which isn’t the same as being pleasant. Neither are the Sex Pistols, but that doesn’t mean they are the same?

 
 

The Carpenters were as much a reflection of the times they appeared in as Peter, Paul, and Mary were of their earlier ones, near beer for those who can’t take their bourbon straight. And as a sage once reflected, “Popular music is music a lot of people like.”

Somehow I don’t think the grapefruity duo quite get there. I wouldn’t have detested them if they hadn’t done the commercial simply because I wouldn’t have even known they existed. I’d love to know what the distaff member considers her singing influences, just because I want to know if she’s actually trying to sound like that or if she really can’t sing any different. My horror was realizing she sounded like some unholy shtup of Nico and Spanky McFarlane.

 
Enraged Bull Pimplemøøse
 

It’s undoubtedly been pointed out upthread–which I probably even read late at night and forgot–but exactly which soap company were they shilling for so’s I can boycott it forever and EVAH?

 
 

which soap company were they shilling for

One of their relatives makes soap and there’s ordering info at the end.

I agree that The Carpenters were better than Pimplemess.

 
 

Sorry. I *like* Pomplamoose. The Hyundai ads must die though.

 
 

me too Dot

 
 

I have only this to say.

 
 

In one of their recognisable incarnations, or just Edgar Froese + session musicians?

No idea – free tickets. This was back in 86-87.

 
Some people call me Maurice 'cause I speak of the Pomplamoose of love
 

We can’t sing very well
We can’t play instruments all the great
We can’t write original material
But we can make cute little videos
And int the days of the intertrons
If you can’t You-Tube you ain’t shit.

 
 

Oof. Three hundred years, Spengler? I am going to start on my project of alt-Appalachian gamelan fusion. Heck, if nothing we do matters, then all that matters is what we do. Gongity gongity twang.

 
 

Best punks were from L.A., too.

Um, excuse me, but who? Belinda Carlisle?

Cuz, you know, we here in Noo Yawk had these little clubs…perhaps you haven’t heard of them? CBGB? Max’s? Copperfields?

 
 

We’re in a period when the tools are leaping forward, and artists are responding by learning them, which I think cuts into the actual aesthetic innovation that can occur.

There’s something to this, but also it’s possible for any cow-eyed babe who can stroke a chord or two on a cheap guitar and then go into her PeeCee and mix it up over and over and add all sorts of synthetic crap, without ever having to do the work to learn it.

That’s where I think the shit comes from.

 
grapefruit's are tasty.
 

Well, actor212, that’s totally not what these kids are doing, upper-middle-class though they clearly be (I mean, have you *seen* their house in Marin County or wherever)?

They can actually play their instruments just fine compared to 90% or performing musicians. They sometimes bring in other musicians for the difficult parts. See their cover of Mr. Sandman, for instance, one of my favourites. And I know several Real Musicians ™ who like it.

Now I am going to rant at all the tiresome fogies who are hating on Pamplemoose. You go right ahead with your evidently world-class musicianship on multiple instruments, and your unheard of vocal chops, and put together a national act from scratch using a new medium. Then, you can get back to us with how authentic and not-at-all annoying you are.

Until then, get the hell off my lawn.

 
The Carpenters? Is that all you got?
 

 
Enraged Bull Limpet
 

have you *seen* their house in Marin County or wherever

Yes, I live nearby and have been there many times! But I totally WASN’T at the wild cocaine, ‘lude, Cuervo and Turgexxx®-fueled party over there that you may have heard about.

 
 

Yeah, I have to agree with grapefruit’s(sic) are tasty, who is obviously some kind of one-off sock puppet, but still.

I first saw/heard Pomplamoose doing their cover of “Single Ladies”, thought they were pretty cool, that the “video song” gimmick was at least clever, and that the woman was super cute.

Plus, she and Jason Bateman had such great chemistry on Arrested Development.

 
 

Oh, yeah, and also, if you ever listen to music you didn’t buy, commercials are how the artists live. Maybe not a great system, but I wouldn’t blame the smelly van-driving musicians themselves.

 
I am not a sock puppet.
 

Just grammatically challenged. Plus I really likes the Poppy Family. And Grapefruit’s. So cold and delicious and possessive.

Seriously, I will cut Pamplemice a lot of slack for harbouring young Lauren O’Connell, who has the potential to become really quite something over the next few years.

 
Not starvling wretches.
 

@Enraged Bull Limpet: I imagine you’re just kidding about the Turgexxx(r). I’ve never been to that part of the world, but have gathered from background shots in their videos that a certain amount of money must be floating about. I don’t mind so much if they make it from evil commercials, or from wealthy parents. I’ve hung with enough Impoverised Musicians ™ to be remarkably free of romantic illusions about that life.

There’s almost no remaining business model for how to be a professional musician as a career….most of the old options are no longer available. As Courtney Love pointed out in the mid 90s, the problem with the music biz is “nobody gets paid”. If Pamplemeeses and their like can find a new way to finance their work, hooray for them.

Then too, we’re confusing moral repugnance with aesthestic distaste. One may very well not like Pamplemoose, but that does not confer an obligation of dislike on other right-thinking people. Whereas we dislike Republicans because it is morally necessary to hate them. Not a matter of taste.

 
Nobody gets paid indeed
 

Nothing is more ridiculous than a bunch of well-fed people who work for corporations and buy shit from corporations every day turning around and calling artists “sellouts” for licensing their music to those exact same corporations.

Grow up.

 
 

Nothing is more ridiculous than a bunch of well-fed people who work for corporations and buy shit from corporations every day turning around and calling artists “sellouts” for licensing their music to those exact same corporations.

Except the poseur who tries to be “anticorporate” by posting on a blog provided by one of the largest corporations on the planet.

Try a tin cup and string next time, if you really want street cred around here, whelp.

 
 

They can actually play their instruments just fine compared to 90% or performing musicians.

So can a trained ape. Still doesn’t make him a musician.

 
 

Actually an ape trained to play an instrument would be a musician, even if that instrument is the drums.

 
Turbine Yukon Palin
 

Or if bonobos played keyboards. Also: they like jello, apparently.

(And the Dresden Dolls put on a great show at the Warfield. Missed this opening act. Helpful tip: check your tickets to make sure your NYE navigation plans aren’t rendered pointless. Plus side: the Tenderloin was quite festive. Someone thoughtfully spelled out “Happy Ne” in sick (usually it’s urine). Guess they ran out for the rest though.)

 
 

When did the pronunciation of the word “Kitten” change to “Kit 10?”

 
POMPLAMOOSE SUCKS GIANT DONKEY BALLS
 

POMPLAMOOSE SUCKS GIANT DONKEY BALLS POMPLAMOOSE SUCKS GIANT DONKEY BALLS POMPLAMOOSE SUCKS GIANT DONKEY BALLS POMPLAMOOSE SUCKS GIANT DONKEY BALLS POMPLAMOOSE SUCKS GIANT DONKEY BALLS POMPLAMOOSE SUCKS GIANT DONKEY BALLS POMPLAMOOSE SUCKS GIANT DONKEY BALLS POMPLAMOOSE SUCKS GIANT DONKEY BALLS POMPLAMOOSE SUCKS GIANT DONKEY BALLS POMPLAMOOSE SUCKS GIANT DONKEY BALLS POMPLAMOOSE SUCKS GIANT DONKEY BALLS POMPLAMOOSE SUCKS GIANT DONKEY BALLS POMPLAMOOSE SUCKS GIANT DONKEY BALLS POMPLAMOOSE SUCKS GIANT DONKEY BALLS POMPLAMOOSE SUCKS GIANT DONKEY BALLS POMPLAMOOSE SUCKS GIANT DONKEY BALLS POMPLAMOOSE SUCKS GIANT DONKEY BALLS POMPLAMOOSE SUCKS GIANT DONKEY BALLS POMPLAMOOSE SUCKS GIANT DONKEY BALLS POMPLAMOOSE SUCKS GIANT DONKEY BALLS

 
 

I’m truly enjoying the design and layout of your site. It’s a very easy on the eyes
which makes it much more pleasant for me to come here and visit
more often. Did you hire out a designer to create your theme?
Great work!

 
 

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