Surber, Baby!

Shorter Don Surber
The night Chris Matthews told the truth

  • Megalulz!!! Rich liberals who want rich people to pay more taxes are the real Richie Riches who want the rich to hoard all their riches! It’s funny because it’s the opposite of true! LOL? LMFAO?

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™


 

Comments: 488

 
 
 

“Fucking lame” doesn’t even begin to describe Surber. Does he have a credit on “American Carol?”

 
 

I don’t know from Surber, but after reading the transcript I get the feeling he’s in a JR High Young Republican club sniggering behind his hand.

 
 

Holy fucking lord. What’s the point of this? That some liberals are rich also? That’s weird cuz I thought we were all lazy freeloaders. Yes, fucktard, some liberals are rich…and many of those rich libs are fairly ITCHING to pay more in taxes. So, what’s your fucking point again?

 
 

I don’t know from Surber, but after reading the transcript I get the feeling he’s in a JR High Young Republican club sniggering behind his hand.

That’s not what he’s doing with his hand.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I got out of the boat.

Mah brain hurts.

More coffee. Then perhaps snark.

 
 

Unhilariously, this animation is apparently part of a series from Surber, because some of the commenters are like, ‘this is the best one yet!’

 
 

Also, is he arguing for raising taxes on the wealthy?

 
 

Also, is he arguing for raising taxes on the wealthy?

I’m not sure he knows what he’s arguing for.

 
 

Have you ever been at a meeting or gathering when someone stands up and starts blathering pointlessly about something he and only he thinks important, and everybody’s thinking “Geez, Don. STFU and sit down already.”?

That was my visit to Don’s Mango stand.

If there is a God, s/he’s a mean MF’er for messing up Don that way.

 
 

Don’t. Think. About. The hand.

From the comments:

I’m convinced this lib blog watch is part of that guerrilla internet war propounded and preached by such organizations as MoveOn, Code Pink, etc., and funded by intensely intellectually dissonant billionaire-Communist George Soros.

Billionaire-Communist?

 
 

The fact is, if wealthy liberals want to pay more taxes to support their socialist engineering, they should. Nobody is stopping them.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Also, is he arguing for raising taxes on the wealthy?

Just George Soros.

BTW, good to see you around here, D. I’m sorry to hear that life circumstances are craptastic right now.

 
 

Aw, thanks – it’s actually not so bad. Still got some UI to burn through before it all really turns to shit

 
 

Surber, like most conservatives, uses “It’s All About Us Me” as his basic building bloc. If liberals are raising taxes, it can only be because they want to hurt conservatives. Lulz – but there are rich liberals too, so they’ll be hurting themselves! Their evil plan fails!

It’ll plain never occur to people with this mindset that liberals might, just might, want to raise taxes because they think it’s a smart thing to do, that they’re aware it’ll impact rich liberals as well as rich conservatives, and that they’re okay with that. Team Politics + heavy dose of navel gazing = they can’t conceive that the non-conservative world might have other priorities than screwing over conservatives.

 
 

But, seriously, I’m with Snort. That reads like something wrote by a middle-schooler. Sad.

 
 

Billionaire-Communist?

Yeah, the words that immediately follow “intellectually dissonant.”

I think it was Will Rogers who said “I don’t write comedy. I just watch politics and report the facts.”

 
 

I know Suber had a point that he was trying to make, but I can’t figure out what it was.

 
 

That reads like something wrote by a middle-schooler.

And this reads like something written by someone with only a passing familiarity with the English language. *facepalm*

 
 

Meanwhile, I think it was Don Surber who just said “I don’t write comedy.” Or at least he should have.

 
 

Just George Soros.

And Barbara Streisand. She’s a scary woman PLUS she wants control of her own vajay-jay! You know, that Icky girl stuff that makes true Conservative manly men feel emascula…uh, uncomfortable.

 
 

Good lord, he puts the dumb in dumbass. Also the ass. Politicians’ tax returns are usually voluntarily released to the public, which is how Surber knows foks’ incomes, so we know rich Democratic politicians are paying the taxes they pass.

 
 

foLks, dammit. LLLLLLLLLL!

 
 

Always. Trust. The. Shorter.™

In my elevator we have that egregious Captivate.com video screen. Today was a funnay:

Q: Should the Bush tax cuts be extended?

A: Yes, those poor rich people have been so deprived lately.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Aw, thanks – it’s actually not so bad. Still got some UI to burn through before it all really turns to shit

That’s good. And you probably are getting to spend more time with your family now, so yay!

 
 

Unhilariously, this animation is apparently part of a series from Surber, because some of the commenters are like, ‘this is the best one yet!’

DA, we’re talking redneck morans here. They are probably methed out thinking there were more.

This is how the right wing punditry makes its money: keep ’em stoned, keep ’em ignert, and they’ll praise you to high heaven as you rob them blind.

 
 

Al Gore has a big house, so energy conservation is for suckers;
It snowed in New york in March, so global warming is a hoax;
Graham Frost’s house has granite countertops, so healthcare coverage for children is unnecessary;
I saw someone buying ice cream with foodstamps once, so poverty is non-existent;
John Kerry is rich, so the Democrats don’t care about poor people.

This, in what passes for the wingnut mind, passes for QED

 
 

Still got some UI to burn through before it all really turns to shit

Don’t spend it all in one place.

Of course, how far can you really stretch a nickle and a wad of used chewing gum?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Of course, how far can you really stretch a nickle and a wad of used chewing gum?

If they have a color TV and are spending that on anything but beans and rice, I WANT MY NICKLE AND WAD OF CHEWING GUM BACK!

 
 

Note also too his other point about teh Lie-beral Media biasnesses to Teh Left and “Hardball? More like softballs for lefties and firing squads for conservatives! Amirite!” is made based on Chris Matthews. Tweety. Voted for Bush the dreamy package in a flight suit. Chris, the only person he hates more than Hillary Clinton is Al Gore, Matthews. As a symbol of leftsist bias.

 
 

Spengler!

Hey, I wanted to let you know, I finished Rise Again, and loved it!

 
 

Still got some UI to burn through before it all really turns to shit

Limousine liberal..

Srsly, hope all works out for you.

 
 

Hey, VS: What happened to the cowboy hat and boots? Remember, some of us here are guys. We needs the visuals.

 
 

Good lord, he puts the dumb in dumbass. Also the ass.

Don Surber puts the retarded in ‘Don Surber is fucking retarded.’

 
 

Chris Matthews. Biased against conservatives. Only believes the absolute best of Democrats. The guy who has practically trademarked algore is fat. That guy.

 
 

Slightly but not much O/T, I’ve been encountering a totes new strain of pig-=iggerance lately, speaking of UI — my little novel has sold well enough to go into a second printing, which is great news. But now people (people I know well and personally) are making polite but unmistakable remarks about how a famous author shouldn’t ought to be on unemployment, should he? Isn’t he, after all, famous, which = sheaves of loot bundled for easy carriage from place to place in his golden limousine?

So not only am I shit out of work for six months, riding the electric dildo cactus of failure to the landfill of ruin, but I’m morally suspect for accepting my tax money back as a means to pay the water bill. I’m a modestly successful author — shouldn’t that disqualify me in some way? Let’s remember I’ve also paid all the promotional costs on the book, erasing my advance, the publisher doesn’t cut me a check (if any) until August, and the advance comes out of my cut, so if I do get a check, it will reflect that deduction, probably reducing it to the low three figures.

O-O/T, I had to visit with a $400/hour tax lawyer a couple days ago. This was in re: several years of back taxes my ex and I are using to keep our antagonism alive. This lawyer was a fount of anecdotes about people that look perfectly respectable on the outside, but the veneer is microns thick. He casually suggested that a quarter of American households are already destroyed, and it is sheer fear of humiliation that keeps ’em finding new ways to shore up the brittle facade of normalcy.

So that was kind of fun.

 
 

We needs the visuals.

*staring at VSs webcam one-handed*

No, you don’t!

 
 

Hey, I wanted to let you know, I finished Rise Again, and loved it!

Steerpike, thank you. I’ll take accolades.

 
 

Don Surber puts the retarded in ‘Don Surber is fucking retarded.’

That Don Surber puts ANYTHING in is a testament to the patience of his partner or the generoisty of the nearest Coke can.

 
 

I’m not sure he knows what he’s arguing for.

Yup – that’s what happen when people try to construct arguments for things they think are self-evident.

Stupid people, anyway.

 
 

Still, Matthews is non-partisan in his desire to hump the leg of whoever’s the biggest swinging political dick of the moment. Bush, Obama, Giuliani. I remember during Katrina when Matthews kept demanding that Giuliani be sent to New Orleans to run around with a bullhorn and boss people around or something.

Like every fucking day on Hardball during Katrina he kept demanding this happen. Jesus, can you imagine if anyone had listened to him? We’d probably have had dozens more dead, shot on Giuliani’s orders.

 
 

We were discussing possible titles for the sequel yesterday. My suggestion is Return of the Son of Shut Up and Rise Again

 
 

Ahem, actor. More,still,too.

Snort said,

December 9, 2010 at 16:17

Don’t. Think. About. The hand

 
 

Rise Again II: The Rise Againing

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

He casually suggested that a quarter of American households are already destroyed, and it is sheer fear of humiliation that keeps ‘em finding new ways to shore up the brittle facade of normalcy.

Only a quarter?

Also, good luck to you, too. And yes, anyone who thinks that writers (even famous ones) make gobs of money is stupid.

 
 

I’m a modestly successful author

I’m sure that gets you comped at all the fine restaurants.

You who else was a modestly successful author…

 
 

Spengler – FWIW, ordered a copy of teh tome. Used your nym link to get to Amazon, too, if that helps.

obSequelTitle: Catcher in the Rise

 
 

Rise Again II: This Time It’s Personnel (the zombies are all traced back to the same HR department)

 
 

Rise Again II: It’s Just Not for (the) Dough

 
 

Point, Matthews isn’t inherently anti-liberal. He’s pro-authority. Wait, isn’t that the same thing?

Oh, I stand corrected. Doughy Pantload’s book tells me otherwise and we all know how Jonah’s always right about everything.

PS to Dampniche – sheaves of loot? I always thought it was giant bags with dollar signs on ’em.

 
 

Rise Again II: The Rise Againing

Rise Again II: Yeast Infection

 
 

Aw, fuck you, Willy! 🙂

 
 

I’m sure that gets you comped at all the fine restaurants.

You who else was a modestly successful author…

The guy who wrote “Mine Comp”?

 
 

A212, I am fucked already, thanks. But I’ll take another.

 
 

I remember during Katrina when Matthews kept demanding that Giuliani be sent to New Orleans to run around with a bullhorn and boss people around or something

I would PAY Spoober to do an ani… or whatever that he does, of Matthews doing this. It would be a new art form. Unintentionalsnarksurrealismistinorantunawaredlystupiditylyfunny.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Ooh! I have money! I can buy the book!

But if it gives me nightmares, I want a refund.

 
 

Rise Again II: Sloppy Seconds

 
 

The guy who wrote “Mine Comp”?

I actually lol’ed in my cube farm.

 
 

Do You Want Rise With That?

 
 

Rise-anetics. Then you start a crazy cult and recruit most of Hollywood to it.

 
 

Rise Again Again: Electric zombiloo

 
 

Rise, Damn Rise and Statistics

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Fried Rise–the survivors hole up in a Chinese restaurant.

 
 

I actually lol’ed in my cube farm.

I totally thought for a second there that one flopped. I even had flopsweat.

 
 

Rise Again II: Lord of the Rise

 
 

Syrup Rise!

 
 

1001 Zombian Nights: Magic Carpet Rise

 
 

The Princess Rise

 
 

I was thinking “Rise Again II: Reckoning of the DarkWinter Knightshadowbane,” and then it could be an urban fantasy novel. Or “Rise Again More! The Story of Pappy Zombeh.”

 
 

Jane Austen’s Rise and Risability.

 
 

Rise Again II: The Rise Againing

Son of Rise Again. But put the of in very small print so it looks like it says Son Rise Again. That way you will get all the Christian extremists to buy it as well before they realize it’s not about Zombie Jesus. Try to release it just before Easter.

 
 

Riseageddon

 
 

Oooh! If you can get John Cusack into the film version of the sequel…
In Your Rise.

 
 

Why is all this Rise Again talk make me think of the movie Free Willy?

 
 

I have made a potentially lucrative deal to market Rise-A-Roni, which you sprinkle on your ass before the zombies eat it.

 
 

He is Risen

 
 

Catcher in the Rise?

Standback. I think she’s gonna blow.

 
 

Why is all this Rise Again talk make me think of the movie Free Willy?

You could get arrested for a free willy.

 
 

Rise Again II: Shambles With Wolves

 
 

The Princess Rise

HAH-lo. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father and now he’ll eat your branes.

 
 

Rise Again: The Empire Strikes Back Rambo Look Who’s Talking, Too

 
 

I’m cheap but I ain’t free. Them drugs cost money.

 
 

Rise Again II: Ghoul Durham

 
 

The spy version is “For Your Rise Only.”

I just threw up in my mouth.

 
 

Rise Again’s Cosmos: A Personal Voyage

 
 

Burnt Offerings: Rise Krispies

 
 

Rise Again 2: Flexing the Warp
Still Risen, Still Again
Rise Again: Tokyo Drift
Rise Again II: The Vitter Tapes

 
 

Rise Again II: Betty Davis’ Rise

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

The Price is Rise–Zombie gameshow!

 
 

Keep Your Eyes On The Rise

 
 

If the action in the sequel works it’s way east from Caifornia then that opens the possibility for Rising Arizona.

 
 

Jesus Christ, the sequel’s working title is Rise Again II. This is clearly inadequate.

What were we talking about? Don Surber?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Rise Above: The Zombie Henry Rollins Story

 
 

Don Surber’s Rise Again: Mom, This is the Second Time my Weiner Got Stiff!

 
 

Rise Again II: Reckoning of the DarkWinter Knightshadowbane

– Rise Again II: Storm Giants Of Valhalla (A Hobbit’s Tale)

 
 

Would You Like Rise With That?

 
 

Tender Rise: A Zombie Love Story

 
 

Thank You For Not Rising

 
 

Tender Rise: A Zombie Love Story

So full of teh win, is this.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Riseomes: 101 Easy Recipes with Brains and Ginger

 
 

The action moves to Mexico for
Tequila Son Rise

 
 

Rise Again II: If a Motherfucker Been Dead For a Week and Motherfucker Still Walking Around, I Kill the Motherfucker, Dig? Sheeeyit.

 
 

Rise Again II: Again With The Rising? Oy Vey!

 
 

High Rise – featuring Cheech and Chong

 
 

You guys play nice now, I have to run. My mom fell and went to the ER and my brother isn’t home.

Something about laughing and DKW’s penis….

 
 

Rhizome Again: the Root of the Problem

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Dammit, why is everyone so much better at this than me? You fuckers.

 
 

Oh wait, I have to go do something too. You kids have fun. Get back on topic. The comedy doesn’t write itself!

 
 

Hope your mom’s okay, actor

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

My co-worker is an evil cunt and I can’t stand to hear the way she talks to people on the phone.

 
 

Record it. Play to others.

 
 

Hope your mom’s okay, actor

Me too. Seriously.

 
 

Rhizome Again: the Root of the Problem

RADICAL!

Actor, best wishes for a quick recovery to your mom.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Sorry.

Also, hope your mom’s okay, actor.

Rhizome Again: the Root of the Problem

I hate you.

 
 

Record it. Play to others.

Much as I think bigoted jackwads need upbraiding like some seriously unbraided hair that would look much better in a braid – I gotta disagree with SMcG on this one. I am against recorded surveillance on the basic principle of we need to save something special for camwhores.

 
 

My mom fell and went to the ER

I, too, hope your mom’s OK.

 
 

Catcher in the Rise?

Rise Again II: the AHEMening

 
 

OT – Bryan “MoH feminization” and “no more mosques” Fischer making strong bid late in the game for Wingnut of the Year.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

The House Democratic caucus just rejected the tax deal…

 
 

I wonder why hundredaires like Surber are so concerned about the rich keeping their cash? I mean, was he hoping this will get passed to Letterman or Stern and his days of writing “comedy” while nursing a small Hardee’s coffee for hours at a time would be over? He’s just so close to being rich.

So close.

 
 

I… uh… wow. And here I thought the Mel’s sweet nothings to Oksana were teh lulz.

 
 

Substance – lulz. Eddie Lee Sausage was a writer on the first proto-blog I wrote for back in the late 90s

 
 

I equate Obama’s capitulation to the corporate overlords who really run things much like Vercingetorix, the defeated leader of the Gauls, kneeling, naked and humiliated, before Julius Caesar and he kisses the Roman standard.

Kneel before your lord and submit to his will!

The message we got from Obama’s ridiculous press conference the other day is that the people and citizenry be damned, the rich rule this country like a feudal kingdom, and fuck any of you who try to defy their will.

At least that’s what I feel. Democracy is dead.

 
 

And then Rise Again III: The War of the Rises.

Actor, hope yo mama’s OK.

We have a date later this week.

 
 

Go to the 2:20 mark of the video I linked to see that scene.

 
 

Actor, hope yo mama’s OK.

We have a date later this week.
too soon?

 
 

Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
December 9, 2010 at 17:53

Bryan Fischer is the Director of Issues Analysis for AFA? Bizarroworld.

 
 

Rise Againe, the sequal: Meat the dead M****Fokkers

 
 

too soon?

Wait, you’re worried about Actor’s sensibilities?

Rise Againe, the sequal: Meat the dead M****Fokkers

Meta?
Meme?
Macaroon?
Mango?

 
 

The House Democratic caucus just rejected the tax deal…

Dear Jaysus, why these heartless bastijis holding the poor little hedge fund managers hostage?!!! !! !

 
 

are too

 
 

am not!

 
 

Thread,pow,kill.

We’ll since I’m alone I’ll confess I put my panties on backward today and I can’t see a thing. I i’d put a thong on at least I’d have eye holes.

Wut? Still there?

OOPS!

 
Marion in Savannah
 

Wut? Still there?

OOPS!

Do you have any idea how I can get beef barley soup out of my keyboard?

 
 

Westboro Baptist Haters to picket Elizabeth Edwards’ funeral.

Won’t they just once picket a biker’s funeral?

 
Marion in Savannah
 

Because the bikers would pound the snot out of them.

 
 

I put my panties on backward today and I can’t see a thing.

What a coincidence! I put on an eyepatch today but it doesn’t cover my balls.

 
 

Because the bikers would pound the snot out of them.

That is my most fervent wish, them stepping in some nasty shit. More deserving souls I cannot find.

 
 

Won’t they just once picket a biker’s funeral?

Seem to be pretty shy about NeoNazi/White Supremacists funerals too.

 
 

Hey I know! Spoober can do a show on Worstbro clowns picketing an East LA latino street gang funeral.

Hole-ah pendekoes! We have-o come-o to picket your funeralito.

 
 

Hmmm, stenchingly familiar. Same thread.

Gary Ruppert said,

December 9, 2010 at 16:18

The fact is, if wealthy liberals want to pay more taxes to support their socialist engineering, they should. Nobody is stopping them.

 
 

“Rich liberals are always welcome to pay the higher tax rate….I’m sure the US Treasury would accept a higher amount than what was owed.”

No. It wouldn’t, asshole. The IRS refunds all money in excess of what is owed.

 
 

The IRS refunds all money in excess of what is owed.

Really? Cool. Revenue Canada has a special box when you fill in your return that says something like “Would you like to make a one time payment to reduce the national debt?”, which gives you a chance to pay extra if you are feeling patriotic, I guess. You’uns can’t do that?

Actor, I join the others in hoping your mom is OK.

 
 

It’s funny because it’s these particular liberals who get rich telling other liberals they’re in there fighting for them

…and then back it up by trying to kill the Bush tax cuts on the super-rich, while the Republicans who are “all for the little guy” and who spent the last two years bitching about the deficit, are all in the tank for the rich when it comes down to it.

Actions speak louder than words, bucko.

 
 

Bryan Fischer is the Director of Issues Analysis for AFA?

Yep, he’s one of the primary reasons the SPLC has labeled AFA a hate group.

 
 

It was funny. It’s funny because it’s these particular liberals who get rich telling other liberals they’re in there fighting for them against the evil rich Republicans….who oddly enough aren’t as rich as they are.

I can see you’re not to sharp there, troll, so I’ll type this real slow:

The difference, is the wealthy Democrats aren’t trying to get out of paying their fair share like the greedbags in your camp.

As far as “socialist engineering”, I assume you’re referring to things like our military garrisoning of the world. That ain’t cheap, and so far we’ve been doing it all on the national credit card.

 
 

No. It wouldn’t, asshole. The IRS refunds all money in excess of what is owed.

True, that, but one can send cash or a check directly to Treasury with instruction to apply it to the debt. It does happen.

Update: They now accept plastic.

 
 

Okay.
1. Rich liberals want higher taxes on the rich. This is proof that liberals are all for helping out only the rich.
2. That these rich liberals got rich by telling other liberals they’re in there fighting for them is completely disproven by 1.

Dennis appears to just be a stupid idiot. Surber has him beat easily because Surber’s post is predicated on the notion that it is impossible for anyone to be willing to accept (let alone advocate for) higher taxes on themselves – even if that tax revenue is going to help the less fortunate.

Also too – for the glibertarians – people sharing Surber’s views are the moral and righteous and we should get government out of helping the needy because private charities can do that.

 
 

I don’t get it. Isn’t George Soros richer than me, you and Tea Party Joe put togther? Doesn’t that make him better than us? Shouldn’t the Republicans be sitting at his feet to catch the pearls of wisdom as they drip from his oh-so-rich dick lips? Shouldn’t his every utterance be written into the Constitution post haste?

Or is there some parkikeular aspect of Soros’ person that they find so very, very objectionable?

 
The Sage of Concord
 

Whale Chowder said,

December 9, 2010 at 19:36 (kill)

Actions speak louder than words, bucko.

Your actions speak so loudly I can not hear what you are saying.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

FYITAWP.

It was funny. It’s funny because it’s these particular liberals who get rich telling other liberals they’re in there fighting for them against the evil rich Republicans….who oddly enough aren’t as rich as they are.

No, Dennis, lead paint flakes are not a low-cost substitute for Wheaties.

 
 

Hey…is it too late at 53 to trade up for a better mom?

Thanks, everyone. Stupid idiot, fell out of a chair and let herself lay on the floor for four hours. She hurt her shoulder, but that’s about it.

On the other hand, it’s a position she’s familiar with…

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Sex, Rise, and Videotape

 
 

Surber’s post is predicated on the notion that it is impossible for anyone to be willing to accept (let alone advocate for) higher taxes on themselves

Surber’s post, to the extent that I could make sense of it at all, seemed to be that rich people advocating for higher taxes on themselves were hypocrites. I am not able to understand the cognitive process (I use the term loosely) that would lead one to such a conclusion.

Or is there some parkikeular aspect of Soros’ person that they find so very, very objectionable?

Well, he is one of Those People, so that might be part of it, but I think mainly it’s the message they find objectionable. The part of Soros could be played by a Texas minister/oilman with a gun collection and a twenty-point antler rack on his Cadillac’s hood and they’d still be calling him a socialist fag.

 
 

We have a date later this week.

OK, but no doggie style.

 
 

My co-worker is an evil cunt and I can’t stand to hear the way she talks to people on the phone.

Give her number ot my mom. They can commiserate.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Maybe you need to get one of those “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up” thingies for her.

 
 

Maybe you need to get one of those “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up” thingies for her.

Can we skip to the part where you know I’ve already approached her about this stuff?

 
 

I never understood why no one – not the cameraman, the director, the grip, no one – helped that poor old lady get up.

 
 

We kids had to twist her tit just to get her to accept a part time home aide.

(go ahead, I left that softball out over the plate…)

 
 

I gotcher Rise. I gotcher .ZOMBIE!

 
 

I never understood why no one – not the cameraman, the director, the grip, no one – helped that poor old lady get up.

National Geographic has a strict non-interference policy.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Can we skip to the part where you know I’ve already approached her about this stuff?

Maybe lying on the floor for four hours possibly changed her mind?

I never understood why no one – not the cameraman, the director, the grip, no one – helped that poor old lady get up.

You’d think at least one of those 22 strapping young men would lend a hand!

 
 

I’m sure the US Treasury would accept a higher amount than what was owed.

Not as easy as you’d think. I once overpaid by $200 due to a simple math error. I probably never would have noticed, but the IRS did and sent me a refund check without me even asking. However, the check comes with a disclaimer that says if it turns out the IRS was mistaken in their math and I really didn’t deserve the refund I would be responsible for paying them back along with all interest and penalties. Even when they’re being nice to you they still manage to be bastards.

 
 

You’d think at least one of those 22 strapping young men would lend a hand!

I thought it was part of the scenario.

 
 

Maybe lying on the floor for four hours possibly changed her mind?

You know how I’m a bastard coated bastard with bastard filling?

 
 

She hurt her shoulder, but that’s about it.

Good, I was afraid it was a broken hip. That would’ve put a crimp* in the date.

Srsly, glad she’s relatively OK.

*VsomethingR. I can’t figure out what *something* is but that word in that place was definitely veiled.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

You know how I’m a bastard coated bastard with bastard filling?

Well, I was going to say, “Unless she’s as stubborn as you are,” but thought that might be a low blow.

 
guitarist manqué
 

Rise Wide Shut

This. Has been hovering just there out of reach for so long. Good work exford legs. (among the things one would never have thought one would type)

 
 

ouch

got out of the boat

feel twenty points stupider for having read that

oh god

the comments

the comments

 
 

You’d think at least one of those 22 strapping young men would lend a hand!

Oh, you meant the teevee commercial mom, not actor’s mom.

SRSLY though, actor tell your mom to get a new safe word, because singing the entire score of the HMS Pinafore doesn’t seem to be working out so great. Even the craft table guys thought it was part of the usual. I mean had we known she was actually hurt, we could have at least picked up her diapers.

 
 

Now cut that shit out!!! I’m gonna rip you a new one when I get home!!! Go back to your room. And turn off that dang computer do-dad. I gave it to you so you could wank to all that pron. Not so you could write snarky comments on some liberal “comedy” website. Either start wankin’ or turn it off!!!

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

the comments

I’m afraid there’s nothing we can do for you now except ease the pain a little.

 
 

Hey, thanks, Dennis.

 
 

I never understood why no one – not the cameraman, the director, the grip, no one – helped that poor old lady get up.

The lady in the ad, or actor’s mom?

He didn’t say what she was doing on the floor for four hours…

 
 

You’d think at least one of those 22 strapping young men would lend a hand!

Third Explorer: All that’ll be left of us will be a map, a compass and a few feet of film, recording our last moments…

First Explorer: Wait a moment!

Fourth Explorer: What is it?

First Explorer: If we’re on film, there must be someone filming us.

Second Explorer: My God, Betty, you’re right!

They all look around, then gradually all notice the camera. They break out in smiles of relief, come towards the camera and greet the camera crew.

Third Explorer: Look! Great to see you!

First Explorer: What a stroke of luck!

Camera Crew: Hello! …

First Explorer: Wait a minute!

Fourth Explorer: What is it again?

First Explorer: If this is the crew who were filming us . .. who’s filming us
now? Look!

Cut to another shot which includes the first camera crew and yet another camera crew with all their equipment.

 
 

Damn you, DKW.

*refresh before posting* *refresh before posting*

 
 

SRSLY though, actor tell your mom to get a new safe word, because singing the entire score of the HMS Pinafore doesn’t seem to be working out so great.

But “His energetic fist” is her favorite line!

 
 

Well, I was going to say, “Unless she’s as stubborn as you are,” but thought that might be a low blow.

*sipping herbal tea quietly*

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Oh, you meant the teevee commercial mom, not actor’s mom.

No, I meant actor’s mom. Did I underestimate?

 
 

Actors into midgets?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

*sipping herbal tea quietly*

Dammit, I hate it when I do that.

 
 

Actors into midgets?

I’m really tall, see, and they’re perfect for the beer can to rest on

 
 

No, I meant actor’s mom. Did I underestimate?

Uh let’s see… it was my turn to wear the Reagan mask and we need three just to operate the mechanical octopus. No, I think 22 is right if you’re just counting us 3rd shift guys.

 
 

actor, have you considered using the awesome power of guilt? Get her an alert necklace for Christmas, and guilt her into wearing it?

“Gee, Mom, I got this for you because I love you, and it would break my heart if you didn’t wear it every day. I thought you loved me, Mom. (sniffle)”

(My grandmother fought wearing an alert necklace until we finally got her one and told her to wear it and use it. She doesn’t fall often, but she’s been able to avoid the lying-on-the-kitchen-floor-for-hours scenario since then.)

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Uh let’s see… it was my turn to wear the Reagan mask and we need three just to operate the mechanical octopus. No, I think 22 is right if you’re just counting us 3rd shift guys.

Is that counting the conjoined twins as one dude, or two?

 
 

Not from Pinafore but I can’t resist linking this.

FYWP

 
 

actor, have you considered using the awesome power of guilt? Get her an alert necklace for Christmas, and guilt her into wearing it?

My mom lectures Jewish mothers on how to do it.

 
 

Is that counting the conjoined twins as one dude, or two?

Two boys, one cock?

Just one.

 
 

Is that counting the conjoined twins as one dude, or two?

It matters where they’re conjoined.

 
 

Poop head.

 
 

Or is there some parkikeular aspect of Soros’ person that they find so very, very objectionable?

It’s called being a traitor to your class, like FDR. The economic equivalent of a nigger lover race traitor.

 
 

Oh Snort, you have to have faster fingers than that.

 
 

Actors into midgets?

Duh. Actor’s into anything he can get it into.

 
 

Is that counting the conjoined twins as one dude, or two?

One. We also count the human centipede that crawls all over her backside as one as well.

 
 

Or is there some parkikeular aspect of Soros’ person that they find so very, very objectionable?

He’s a Jew who thinks Israel could, you know, possibly conceivably be a little out of line. Maybe. He’s not sure.

 
 

Someone’s going to have to explain to me how, as European as my background is, I have an increased risk of esophageal carcinoma because it’s more prevalent in Asians?

I mean, we’re not talking a slightly elevated risk, we’re talking three times the normal for an Asian, which is already elevated from the world at large.

 
 

For people like Surber, wealth is a birth right or something acquired through cunning, guile, and deceit. The “free market” after all does demand ignorant buyers.

Obviously, Surber thinks only conservatives are deceitful enough to get rich.

 
 

Your four packs of unfiltereds a day habit?

 
 

Reflux from all those years of binging and purging?

 
 

Maybe it’s hereditary. IOW, your mom.

 
 

Thanks to actor for prompting me to peruse the Wikipedia on esophgeal cancer. I learned a new word.

 
 

Someone’s … explain to me how, … I have an increased risk of esophageal carcinoma because it’s more prevalent in Asians?

Yer mom was teh Asian Mata-Hari in Indochina in the late 50s and was the victim of sex by surprise?

Haha, like she wouldn’t be ready for it any time.

 
 

Haha, like she wouldn’t be ready for it any time.

I know yours is, but what of mine?

 
 

Your four packs of unfiltereds a day habit?

But it’s medicinal!

 
 

“Someone’s going to have to explain to me how, as European as my background is, I have an increased risk of esophageal carcinoma because it’s more prevalent in Asians?”

That is so weird, because my wife got back from the doctor about two hours ago with a diagnosis of some kind of joint disease that is mainly found in Scandinavians. And she’s Hispanic! True story.

 
 

Rise Again 2: Electric Zomboogaloo

 
 

That is so weird, because my wife got back from the doctor about two hours ago with a diagnosis of some kind of joint disease that is mainly found in Scandinavians. And she’s Hispanic! True story.

How old is she?

*getting suitcase*

 
Marion in Savannah
 

the mechanical octopus

You got Ed Woods’ octopus that Bela Lugosi wrestled? That’s SO cool!

 
 

Rise Again II: The Ann Coulter Story

 
 

some kind of joint disease

She should grow her own.

 
 

You got Ed Woods’ octopus that Bela Lugosi wrestled?

Left over sentinel from the Matrix.

 
 

Not my octopus. actor’s mom just has this thing for tentacles and sharp crushing beaks.

 
 

actor’s mom just has this thing for tentacles and sharp crushing beaks.

I blame your mom, Medusa.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

The night Chris Matthews told the truth

Worst EVER song by “The Band”.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Yer mom was teh Asian Mata-Hari in Indochina in the late 50s and was the victim of sex by surprise?

I must still be hung over from last night, because I read this as “Mata-Hentai”.

 
 

“How old is she?

*getting suitcase*”

Hmmm. Can’t tell what aspect of this arouses you the most. 1) she’s married. 2) she’s Hispanic 3) she’s got a rare Scandinavian joint disease.

And, fyi, she’s younger than your mom.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Hmmm. Can’t tell what aspect of this arouses you the most

Gross! I thought he was just getting ready to leave the country in case of a paternity suit.

 
 

Hmmm. Can’t tell what aspect of this arouses you the most.

“she”

 
 

Hmmm. Can’t tell what aspect of this arouses you the most. 1) she’s married. 2) she’s Hispanic 3) she’s got a rare Scandinavian joint disease.

You’re assuming I’m heading *towards* you. How quaint.

 
 


The night Chris Matthews told the truth

Worst EVER song by “The Band”.”

I LOLed.

 
 

vacuumslayer in a cowboy hat and boots

Somewhere, there’s a cowboy with frostbitten toes and scalp cancer.

 
 

“Somewhere, there’s a cowboy with frostbitten toes and scalp cancer.”

I am a badass: everybody betta recognize.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 
 

Oh. My bad, actor. Your M.O. has me befuddled. I don’t know whether your going or coming………………………………………..and always too soon.

 
 

The perfect gift for the 101st Keyboard Kommando in your life.

 
 

I don’t know whether your going or coming………………………………………..and always too soon.

STOP JUDGING ME!

Sheesh! Do one of those K-Y marital aid commercials and suddenly everyone thinks you just pop off….

 
 

Say it ain’t so!

*GASP*

Unpossible!

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Hmmm. Can’t tell what aspect of this arouses you the most

Gross! I thought he was just getting ready to leave the country in case of a paternity suit.

That’s how I read it… does your wife occasionally speak in an agglutinative language? If so, she may be suffering from Finno-Ugrism.

 
Disgruntled Lurker
 

Waaaaay late, but this:

If they have a color TV and are spending that on anything but beans and rice, I WANT MY NICKLE AND WAD OF CHEWING GUM BACK!

made me happy.

That is all. Carry on.

 
 

does your wife occasionally speak in an agglutinative language?

Watch your mouth! That’s his wife, not his mom, you’re talking about!

 
 

“does your wife occasionally speak in an agglutinative language? If so, she may be suffering from Finno-Ugrism.”

No. And as far as I know, she hasn’t had a Ugrism in months.

 
 

she hasn’t had a Ugrism in months.

*packing more quickly*

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

made me happy.

Thank you! I’m glad *somebody* appreciates me around here.

 
 

Damn me and my agglutinative tongue….

*dialing cab company*

 
the ugly hunchback that washes dishes and rings the dinner bell
 

Due to a recent decline in patronage, the chef has added a new menu item.
Tonight’s special consists of:

Turdle soup

Dingleberry salad

VEAL STEW!!!!!**

Scoop-0-poop (w/sprinkles on request)

** Combine 1/2 pound stewing veal, 1 cup canned tomatoes, 1 cup water, 1 chicken bouillon cube, and parsley in a pot and simmer. When meat is tender, remove all the bones. For dogs, cut the meat in chunks, and mix stew with kibble or some other grain; for cats, grind the stew in blender, adding a tablespoon of wheat germ.

http://healthrecipes.com/pet_supply.htm

 
 

Lucky for me, she’s Proto-Uralic.

 
 

Dude, Golden showers?

 
 

Speaking of Christmas Lists, here’s mine:
HMS Invincible.

 
 

My favourite part about the listing?

Availability: In stock

I hope so, that’s not the kinda thing you can get on back order.

 
 

HMS Invincible

Wow, it has a wicked curve up at the point…

 
 

does your wife occasionally speak in an agglutinative language?

For once I’m glad I’m on an agglutinative free diet.

 
 

Your four packs of unfiltereds a day habit?

I was thinking along those lines, but along the line of smoking to much Asian something else. “Hello Mr. Wong!”

 
 

does your wife occasionally speak in an agglutinative language?

That is dangerous if you happen to have celiac disease.

 
 

…judges: is WC entitled to AHEM me over that celiac joke?

 
 

3) she’s got a rare Scandinavian joint disease

Sjorgrens Syndrome?

 
 

I don’t know whether your going or coming

Is it yellow or white?

 
 

“Dude, Golden showers?”

No, no, no. Uralic is the chambermaid.

 
Marion in Savannah
 

Sjorgrens Syndrome?

Sjögren’s syndrome. /medical terminology pedant

 
 

Hey, VS: What happened to the cowboy hat and boots? Remember, some of us here are guys. We needs the visuals.

Hey, this morning it was waaaaaaaaaay too cold for sexytime. I was rockin’ jeans and a sweatshirt along with the boots and hat. I still say I cut a dashing figure, though.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Soo, the DADT repeal is dead.

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY OUR DEMOCRACY IS AWESOME YAAAAAAAAAAAY!

 
 

“Sjorgrens Syndrome?”

I don’t think that was it. (She told me on the phone. I’ll get the details later.) The primary symptom is, she says, similar to rheumatoid arthritis. But the prescription is a low-level steroid that she will have to take forever.

 
 

No, no, no. Uralic is the chambermaid.

I thought her name was Magenta?

 
 

Whatsa matta Marion? Still got barley soup inya keyboard?

Nah, I know someone with it.

 
 

Sjögren’s syndrome. /medical terminology pedant

Wow, the umlauts really follow you around the room!

 
 

I still say I cut a dashing figure, though.

I hope you stitched him back up.

 
 

The primary symptom is, she says, similar to rheumatoid arthritis. But the prescription is a low-level steroid that she will have to take forever.

Ah, Juhaaholaitis! It also turns her into a competitor for the World’s Strongest Man competition.

 
 

Hey, this morning it was waaaaaaaaaay too cold for sexytime

*cough* shrinkage *cough*

 
 

made me happy.

Wouldn’t that make you a “Gruntled Lurker” then?

 
 

*cough* shrinkage *cough*

Great. Now everyone’s gonna know I’m married to George Costanza.

 
 

“Ah, Juhaaholaitis! It also turns her into a competitor for the World’s Strongest Man competition.”

Hey! I said she’s Hispanic, not German.

 
 

Soo, the DADT repeal is dead.

Why can’t you be a more sensible liberal? Jesus. You people are always whining about dumb shit like people’s civil rights all the time.

 
 

Rise!And the rying ryiars who tell them.

 
 

Suggestions for Actor’s mom

 
 

Hey Marion, I just glanced at your comment and thought you had written pendant. I was was wondering WTF you were talking about. Why would they make a necklace for that disease?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

It fucking died on a cloture vote, by the way. ArgleblargleARG fuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

 
 

Suggestions for Actor’s mom

I wonder if they make one that fits mens….well you know, for those times when its waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too cold.

 
 

Hey! I said she’s Hispanic, not German.

Ohno, you din’t!

NEVER call a Finn a “German”!

Especially Juha! He’s likely to rip your arms from your shoulders and shove them…errrr, well, you’ll become your own human centipede!

 
 

Pffft, who believes in unicorns? Show me a bovine gnawing faerie then you’re talking my kind a language.

 
 

Suggestions for Actor’s mom

*dialing UWashington*
\
Fuck her, I want one!

 
 

Speaking of Christmas Lists, here’s mine:
HMS Invincible.

Hope you got a tug boat, or are a really strong swimmer:

Displacement – Current 17000 Tonnes
Estimated metal weight – 10000 Tonnes
blah blah blah
Engines – Removed

It would, however, make a kick-ass home-on-the-H20 if you could find a place to put it. Put some turf on the flight deck to have a nice yard, turn the bridge into a mannotreallymuchofacave, and the garage space has got to be teh awesome.

As soon as our checks from Soros arrive, we should totes bid on that bad boy …

 
 

Put some turf on the flight deck to have a nice yard, turn the bridge into a mannotreallymuchofacave, and the garage space has got to be teh awesome.

Hell, you could put a ski jump on that flight deck.

 
guitarist manqué
 

Extremely O/T:

Snowed in in Paris? Romantic!
Snowed in in Paris with Shakira? Whoohoo!

And then I read that the cataclysmic snow event was 12cm ! ? !

Is there anything more off topic from Surber than Paris and Shakira?

 
 

And then I read that the cataclysmic snow event was 12cm ! ? !

Is there anything more off topic from Surber than Paris and Shakira?

Well, 12cm does sort of resemble his under a magnifying glass…

 
 

Rise Guys

Are we still doing possible titles?

 
 

Snowed in in Paris? Romantic!

She’s not my cup of tea, but where specifically did it snow in her?

 
 

“She’s not my cup of tea, but where specifically did it snow in her?”

Her nose would be my guess …

 
 

Are we still doing possible titles?

Not a Rise continuance, but I’d RUN to see 300 Days Later.

 
 

I’d RUN to see 300 Days Later.

The Spartan zombie movie?

 
 

Are we still doing possible titles?

I read this as “Are we still doing possible titties?”

 
 

“Are we still doing possible titties?”

Apparently you’ve been to Singapore…

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I read this as “Are we still doing possible titties?”

I did, too.

 
 

I read this as “Are we still doing possible titties?”

I did, too.

Psh. Women. ONE TRACK MINDS.

 
 

Psh. Women. ONE TRACK MINDS.

I was just gonna say…

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

What? They’re *right* *there*!

 
 

What? They’re *right* *there*!

WHERE?!?!?!

*finger hovers over PrintScreen key*

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Matt Yglesias has his own URL shortener. That’s kind of…sad…

 
 

What? They’re *right* *there*!

What to choose? What to choose…

1) Close that tab in your browser.

2) Put away the mirror.

3) My posts are *up here!*

 
Disgruntled Lurker
 

Wouldn’t that make you a “Gruntled Lurker” then?

The happiness was transitory. I’m searching for individual health insurance, so it’s back to disgruntled.

For some reason, no one wants to cover a 30 year ex-drug addict with Hepatitis C.

I keep emailing them promising to never seek medical treatment if they’ll just give me a prescription co-pay, but no takers yet.

Must be because I smoke.

 
Disgruntled Lurker
 

Errr…that should be 30 year OLD ex-drug addict.

 
the ugly hunchback that washes dishes and rings the dinner bell
 

Either WP ate the earlier menu, I’m blind drunk, or I’ve been banned.

Anyway, due to a lack of patronage, Chef has decided to vary the menu somewhat:

Turdle soup

Dingleberry salad

VEAL STEW!!!!!*

Scoop-0-poop (w/sprinkles on request)

* Combine 1/2 pound stewing veal, 1 cup canned tomatoes, 1 cup water, 1 chicken bouillon cube, and parsley in a pot and simmer. * When meat is tender, remove all the bones. For dogs, cut the meat in chunks, and mix stew with kibble or some other grain; for cats, grind the stew in blender, adding a tablespoon of wheat germ.

http://healthrecipes.com/pet_supply.htm

 
 

That you people have not yet held a revolution, or at least a respectable general strike, to get single-payer healthcare is a testament to the stubborn nobility respect for the law crap, I don’t know, AHA exceptionalism of the American people.

 
 

exceptionalism of the American people

Exceptional, in a short bus kinda way.

 
 

VEAL STEW!!!!!

What? No POOP?

Lunch Lady is going to be pissed you’re horning in on her turf.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Must be because I smoke.

That shit’ll kill you!

 
Disgruntled Lurker
 

That you people have not yet held a revolution, or at least a respectable general strike, to get single-payer healthcare

I’ve got a pitchfork on the porch. Just waiting for the bat signal.

 
 

When meat is tender, remove all the bones.

This is DKW Mom’s purview.

 
Disgruntled Lurker
 

That shit’ll kill you!

I prefer to call it “retirement planning”.

 
the ugly hunchback that washes dishes and rings the dinner bell
 

Is poop for dessert.

 
 

That you people have not yet held a revolution, or at least a respectable general strike, to get single-payer healthcare is a testament to the stubborn nobility respect for the law crap, I don’t know, AHA exceptionalism of the American people.

I’m this close to the “fuck it, let the country go up in smoke” stage.

If so many people (not politicians or bankers but regular citizens like you and I) are committed to the idea of shooting themselves in the foot just so the bullet can go through the floor and hit the dirty unamericans beneath them, then one, the liberals are building a castle on sand; two, if solidarity is as dead as it seems to be and “everyone for himself” is the new “e pluribus unum,” then there’s no point in even having a country in the first place.

Countries, after all (see Jennifer’s 4th of July post) are groups of people who look out for one another; if we’re not doing it anymore, then we’re not a country. Simple as that.

Yes, I know, I’m being depressing. Perhaps I’ll be cheered up in a couple of hours when I next have access to a computer.

 
 

I prefer to call it “retirement planning”

Damn, I thought that’s what the lottery is for.

 
 

I prefer to call it “retirement planning”.

Hee, in a giggling past the graveyard kind of way.

 
 

Damn, I thought that’s what the lottery is for.

I thought that’s why I was blackmailing that rich wife…

 
 

Hey, Troofie? SInce I know you still lurk here…THERE’S HOPE FOR YOU YET!

 
 

Errr…that should be 30 year OLD ex-drug addict.

Quitter! Many of us went well into our forties.

 
 

if solidarity is as dead as it seems to be and “everyone for himself” is the new “e pluribus unum,” then there’s no point in even having a country in the first place

It is interesting how the right scares the average voter with how liberals and Democrats are out to steal their tax dollars and give it to “those kinds”. You know the welfare mothers, the unemployed, the shifty lazy ones, the ones who just…..aren’t. You know they just aren’t….us.
The depersonalization and demonization of fellow Americans is tearing this country apart. A person needing an extension on unemployment is far easier to understand than the vague and rarified atmosphere of the huge amount of money Wall Street and bankers siphoned out of this economy. The base is so trained to attack anything the right wing hierarchy tells them to, they turn a blind eye to the fact Republicans are pulling the rug out from under them. What is the rationality of a lower and middle class person supporting the fight for personal tax breaks for someone who has no plans to plow it back into the economy?

 
 

Why use six words when twenty will do?

 
Disgruntled Lurker
 

Quitter! Many of us went well into our forties.

Dude. I was squatting in abandoned houses in the ghettos of Atlanta smoking crack and shooting heroin with dirty needles. I don’t think I was going to make it to 40.

 
Disgruntled Lurker
 

On the other hand, I got to sleep in everyday, so it wasn’t all bad.

Nevermind. It was all bad.

 
 

Nevermind. It was all bad.

Jeezus. Sometimes a little reminder of just how bad it could be is needed.

Now, a Republican would tell you you did it to yourself and you deserve everything you get.

Me, I just shudder and think about a few choices that could have gone another direction and put me right there in that crackhouse with you. There but for the grace of FSM…

 
 

I was squatting in abandoned houses in the ghettos of Atlanta smoking crack and shooting heroin with dirty needles.

You know you’re having a bad day when…..

 
Disgruntled Lurker
 

Jeezus. Sometimes a little reminder of just how bad it could be is needed.

No shit.

Now I’m married. Bought a new car. Own my own business. Saving up the proceeds for a down payment on a house.

No one I meet would ever be able to guess where I was five or six years ago. That’s probably a good thing.

 
 

I got to sleep in everyday, so it wasn’t all bad.

Shit, when I was homeless I had to get up around 0630 when the guy w/ the leaf blower came around to blow the sand back in the sand-box. Even earlier reveille in the shelters. Now, I haven’t gotten up before 1300 any day this wk.!

Just being a smart-ass; congrats on beating the dope, & the pig society which drove you mad in the first place. Now use that new lease in life to do something better than lurk here.

 
 

Lurker, congratulations for getting out of that, you rock.

 
 

Now I’m married. Bought a new car. Own my own business. Saving up the proceeds for a down payment on a house.

Whoa, there!! You’re overcompensating. Balance is the key, not excess. (Talking out ass now, if no one’s realized yet.)

 
 

Nah, Bouffant’s right. Ya gotta ake it easy coming back from the edge like that. Move too fast, and you’ll go too far, end up joining the local Chamber of Commerce, buying a Hummer, going to tea party rallies, registering Republican, watching Glenn Beck {{shudder}}, signing up for the NRA newsletter, reading NRO and demanding a tax cut.

Easy does it, is all we’re sayin’

 
 

Now I’m married. Bought a new car. Own my own business. Saving up the proceeds for a down payment on a house.

No one I meet would ever be able to guess where I was five or six years ago. That’s probably a good thing.

That’s fucking awesome.

What the teabaggers need is you and a bunch of people like you to describe the entire trajectory so they can see that “helping people” doesn’t mean “putting people on the dole permanently” — and that preserving a life until they can get it together is a worthy thing.

Ah, who am I kidding, recognizing that requires empathy…something distinctly lacking in that bunch of prissy assholes.

 
Disgruntled Lurker
 

Lurker, congratulations for getting out of that, you rock.

Lot’s of help getting there. Thanks.

 
Disgruntled Lurker
 

Move too fast, and you’ll go too far, end up joining the local Chamber of Commerce, buying a Hummer, going to tea party rallies, registering Republican, watching Glenn Beck {{shudder}}, signing up for the NRA newsletter, reading NRO and demanding a tax cut.

Its been about five years. I’m gonna assume any permanent brain damage would have manifested by now.

 
 

#

TruculentandUnreliable said,

December 9, 2010 at 19:51

Sex, Rise, and Videotape

That took you like an hour to come up with, didn’t it.

 
 

Rise Again Again: Rise So Serious?

 
 

Obvious theme is obvious….

Rise Again II: Shall not perish from the earth.

 
 

Take a cue from Cameron: Rise Agains

 
 

The depersonalization and demonization of fellow Americans is tearing this country apart.

This, indeed.

I worry sometimes that I’m doing the same thing in reverse, and I work hard not to let politics come in the way of personal relationships, to the extent that I can (some of them really do deserve it) – heck, I’ve still got plenty of family and friends on that side of the aisle.

But at the same time, this divide, the depersonalization and demonization, really is their doing, not ours. Yes, there’s people on our side who look down on the red states, but that’s hardly politically significant. Politicians don’t appeal to us by pointing us at the red states and saying “those are your enemies,” and if they tried, it wouldn’t work. But their politicians do – it’s practically the only thing holding the coalition together – and there, it does work, because so many of their voters really do fucking hate us on a personal basis. It’s no good pretending otherwise.

 
 

Also, congrats for the upgrade, Lurker.

 
 

Since the zombies in the book are all apparently from the L.A. area, how about:

Rise Again II: The Southland Shall Rise Again

 
 

Also, off-topic, but I gotta vent;

I spent a couple hours after work in Borders waiting for rush hour to die down, and for old times’ sake, flipped through the Tom Clancy novel that came out this week.

Wow. First; the man thinks the Sunni are a majority and the Shi’a a minority in Iraq (just for those who don’t follow international relations, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Demographics_of_iraq#Religions). Not really much more to say, except that this is the fucking ABCs of Iraqi politics, especially as it relates to the civil war post-invasion. Writing an Iraq-related book without knowing this, is the functional equivalent of writing “Gone With The Wind” without knowing whether black people were the slaves or the masters.

Other than that; in the Ryanverse, Jack Ryan left the White House with a rich and thriving economy, and the Obama-character fucks it up by raising taxes on the rich. And the terrorists’ evil plot is to provoke the U.S. into invading Pakistan, creating a chaos the terrorists could exploit. This will work, the text explains, because of the Obama character is stupid and inept enough to fall for it.

So basically, the guy creates an alternate reality in not only the financial crisis but the Iraq war are Obama’s sins. I’m trying to figure out how you can possibly write that without having your head explode, even when you’re a conservative.

(And yes, this is a lot of venting for one second-rate thriller, but 1) reading his stuff as a war fiction obsessed teenager is what originally piqued my interest in politics, hence my interest, and 2) this guy is actually considered a knowledgeable and realistic military expert by quite a ton of people).

 
 

I also noticed, reading the book jacket description only, that President Ryan created some kind of extra-governmental, non-aligned, unaccountable anti-terrorism private army because (this is paraphrased from the book jacket) politicians can’t be trusted to be bloodthirsty enough.

That is frightening shit, right there.

 
 

You think that’s frightening? Check out this logo.

 
 

I also noticed, reading the book jacket description only, that President Ryan created some kind of extra-governmental, non-aligned, unaccountable anti-terrorism private army because (this is paraphrased from the book jacket) politicians can’t be trusted to be bloodthirsty enough.

Private intelligence agency with its own double-O section – yeah, close enough.

That actually happened in his previous book, the one that was so bad everyone thought its failure had driven him into retirement. The conversation basically goes “government is inefficient, so we have to privatize intelligence.”

 
 

Tom Clancy actually came to speak at an Air Force Base I was stationed at back in the 1980s. He’s a total geek.

We offered him a ride in a T-38 (supersonic jet trainer) and he turned it down. The guy is very much afraid to fly.

 
 

government is inefficient, so we have to privatize intelligence

Did you read that one? Is any explanation given for how “private intelligence service” is distinct from “mafia”, or do we just apply the American Exceptionalism operator to ensure their power is never used for evil and/or self-serving ends?

 
 

Did you read that one? Is any explanation given for how “private intelligence service” is distinct from “mafia”, or do we just apply the American Exceptionalism operator to ensure their power is never used for evil and/or self-serving ends?

I read some parts of that one, not the whole book, which is basically the same thing I just did at Borders with the new one.

No, the latter explanation is basically it.

 
 

To his credit (I feel like I should add this), I also found a part in which he mentions that torture’s a limited and not too efficient form of interrogation and that “ticking bomb scenarios” are Hollywood bullshit. And he sticks to his gun on “our enemy is terrorism, not Islam.”

Never did I ever imagine those things would actually make someone look like a moderate conservative, rather than just a normal human fucking being.

 
 

“…We offered him a ride in a T-38 (supersonic jet trainer) and he turned it down. The guy is very much afraid to fly.

Damn. I’m afraid to fly, too, but I wouldn’t have turned down that offer. Of course, I’d probably have barfed the whole way. Messy.

Tom Clancy and Spengler: The Duel. Our Spengler would have him for breakfast. Congratulations on the second printing, dude. And color me not even remotely surprised that you’re not a millionaire yet. Jeez. You got it written, you got it published, you got people reading it, and they are liking it. Yes, I wish you could make a fraction of what Clancy does, but that ain’t how it works.

 
 

I would give my left nut … wait, I already did that, my … something to have a T38. There was a company selling surplus T38s with civilian avionics a while back – dang why wasn’t I born rich?

 
 

dang why wasn’t I born rich

[Republican]You chose your parents badly. You can’t expect hard-working people to compensate for your bad choices.[/Republican]

 
 

I accidentally got poison in my eye last spring. Even though I knew where my phone was, but it was really hard to dial 911. It took like fifteen minutes while blind and disoriented to manage. If the handsfree dial feature worked, I could have just told the phone I had an emergency or had it as a quick option. But I just couldn’t remember which keys were which.

It was really annoying. So much so I rather forgot to be frightened.

I don’t understand the market for those alert thingies… When nearly any cell phone could have a one-button or voice activated emergency function. My spouse’s smartphone has it without telling it to.

 
 

I’m too fatigued to read the whole thread.

Anyone recommend “Rise Harder” yet?

 
 

Aaah FYWP with a rusty razor. I just posted a nice bit about what a Tom Clancy version of RA would have been like, and WP eated it.

 
 

One of the things I really enjoyed in Rise Again (RA) was its devastating portrayal of the private security thugs, “Hawkstone”. Spot fucking on. If Someone like Clancy had written it, he would have made the Hawkstone characters the heroes.

 
 

I can see the protagonist, with a name like “Dirk” or “Lance”, who comes back from Iraq disgusted with the namby-pamby politicians who refused to declare all-out war on Islam, and wouldn’t let our brave warriors use torture to keep the sand-niggers in their place.

When the “zeroes” rise up, he and his brave buddies would be thwarted from taking them out with good ol’ yankee ingenuity and firepower. There would be some liberal professor/scientist type who foolishly tries to protect the zombies while he wastes time searching for a cure, or trying to negotiate or something.

The climactic scene would have the doctor, or professor, or whatever, trapped in his laboratory–make it a library–surrounded by a closing circle of zombies, while he screams “wait! Can’t you see I’m trying to help you?!”

The zombies would be a thinly disguised metaphor for Muslims, or maybe liberals. “The only way to deal with ’em is a bullet to the brain-pan, Hoss!”

I have to say, I liked our Spengler’s version better.

 
 

I can see the protagonist, with a name like “Dirk” or “Lance”, who comes back from Iraq disgusted with the namby-pamby politicians who refused to declare all-out war on Islam, and wouldn’t let our brave warriors use torture to keep the sand-niggers in their place.

 
 

When the “zeroes” rise up, he and his brave buddies would be thwarted from taking them out with good ol’ yankee ingenuity and firepower.

 
 

Fuck!!!!!
C’mon WP, let me post a goddam comment!!!!

 
 

I give up

 
 

Just got some really bad news a few hours ago and just in time for the holidays. What makes this especially galling is that at the same time this is happening to us, bloated billionaires are poised to get their 6 figure tax breaks.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

That took you like an hour to come up with, didn’t it.

Noooooooo……..

okay, okay, it did. SHUTUP.

Lurker, way to get out of some serious shit. I’m impressed.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Also, too, I’m 30 and you’re doing better at life than I am, you fucker!

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Related: is there any such thing as adult-onset ADHD?

 
 

I blame the com-pu-tor box.

 
 

Ooh, ladies’ morning! Woohoo as of right now WE OWN THIS PLACE!

 
 

My latest cowbird just died inhumanly and with all the zany crap going on in the world a cowbird story would make my year. I don’t know how he got stuck in that paper bag. My question is to Vishnu… Why did it have to be my Cowboy?

 
 

I want a gaily-colored drink with an umbrella in it.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I blame the com-pu-tor box.

That can only be it. I seriously can’t concentrate on a task for more than 1 minute.

 
 

“That can only be it. I seriously can’t concentrate on a task for more than 1 minute.”

I’m pretty much the same way. Always mindlessly multi-tasking

 
 

You should see the mess a cowbird leaves behind.

 
 

Ooh, ladies’ morning! Woohoo as of right now WE OWN THIS PLACE!

Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain and pillow-fight all you want.

 
 

Catbirds are neater, and you can leave those tiny little piles in the litter box just about forever. Also Substance: honorary lady-parted person but only if he gets us all Mimosas. WITH UMBRELLAS.

 
 

DAMMIT.

 
 

No pillow fights, we’re talking about who we like best and braiding each others’ hair.

 
 

Some of you are not faring very well in the slam book.

 
 

Is WP going to behave this morning?

 
 

Is it still waaaaaaaaaaaaaay too cold to wear just a cowbird hat and boots?

 
 

Way fucking late, but this was fucking hilarious:

Hole-ah pendekoes! We have-o come-o to picket your funeralito.

Well fucking done.

 
 

Mimosas. WITH UMBRELLAS.

Ummmmmmmmm, no. Mimosas are champagne based elegant drinks to be had in fluted glasses which means you could poke an eye out with an umbrella.

 
 

We have-o come-o to picket your funeralito.

We need the liberal equiavalent of Fred Phelps’ church and start picketing rich people’s funerals with pictures of the poor their “death taxes” are not helping.

 
 

Mimosas are champagne based elegant drinks to be had in fluted glasses

Not in flyover country. Mason jars are de rigueur so you can add 3 umbrellas and drink without eye injury.

 
 

Not in flyover country.

I suppose the sustitution of battery acid brings a new flavor, true.

Mason jars are de rigueur so you can add 3 umbrellas and drink without eye injury.

And three chances to skewer your gums.

 
 

They should be delivered with umbrellas which we will remove and tuck coquettishly over our ears.

 
 

And three chances to skewer your gums.

That’s called oral hygiene, Mr. East Coast.

 
 

That’s called oral hygiene, Mr. East Coast.

Don’t blame me for having more than one toof.

 
 

“Is it still waaaaaaaaaaaaaay too cold to wear just a cowbird hat and boots?”

Not only that, but I have a cold I can’t shake and am producing more mucus than one person should be able to. Fuck.
Plus, I’m at that stage in pregnancy where it just looks like I’m porking up a bit. Poop.

 
 

The hair braiding and gossip can only go on so long. I’ll just be over here in the corner. Waiting. And watching.

 
 

am producing more mucus than one person should be able to

You are snotting for two, you know…

 
 

OT – Bryan Fischer just took another POOP. Seems to him teh geyh sechs is an epidemic:

We currently have between two and four percent of the population engaging in gay sex. How about we ask the surgeon general to launch a crusade to reduce the gay sex rate from four percent to one percent by 2020?

Says the surgeon general, in words that can and should be addressed to practicing homosexuals, “It’s never too late to quit but the sooner you quit the better.”

In other words, the official administration policy on cigarette smoking is abstinence. Let’s make it the official government position on gay sex.

 
 

We currently have between two and four percent of the population engaging in gay sex. How about we ask the surgeon general to launch a crusade to reduce the gay sex rate from four percent to one percent by 2020?

That’s easy: redefine “gay sex” as anyone having sex with DKW’s mom at any one moment.

 
 

Actor, I do not think “reduce” means what you think it means.

 
 

actor, that made me giggle for some reason. “snotting for two” That’s a keeper.

Bryan Fischer is just upset that no one is having hot gay sex with him. Bryan, it’s ok. It’s just that the sex ceases to be hot when it’s with you. So, hey, how about you go fuck YOURSELF?

 
 

it just looks like I’m porking up a bit. Poop.

Yes, that might help.

and tuck coquettishly over our ears.

Must..pour..coffee..directly into eyes. I read the first T as an F

 
 

I wonder how one would fuck coquettishly. Blush while doin’ it?

 
 

actor, that made me giggle for some reason. “snotting for two” That’s a keeper.

So long as YOU keep it.

I wonder how one would fuck coquettishly. Blush while doin’ it?

Take a chicken breast, k, and dip it in an egg wash then breading and then wrap it around the penis.

Alternatively, you can stick a wire hoop in the ground and use a mallet on the penis.

 
 

fuck coquettishly

*cough* shrinkage *cough*

 
 

actor…dude…you’re into some weird stuff. You MAY want to start logging less time with DKW’s mom.

 
 

r…dude…you’re into some weird stuff.

*puts down High School Hens In Bondage*
.
.
.
.
.

What?

 
 

Coq au Vein?

 
 

I don’t know how you could fuck without a coque.

 
 

Coq au Vein?

Vampire Zombie Chickens in Lust

 
 

HOMOS! So sneaky!

Yeeesh, what a drama queen. Project much Francis?

 
 

I don’t know how you could fuck without a coque.

Or a toque

I don’t know how you could fuck fuque without a coque.

Fixed for Frenchiness

 
 

Yeeesh, what a drama queen. Project much Francis?

For realz. Someone wants a gay patdown in the worst way.

 
 

Actror, part of your prep work?

 
 

Actror, part of your prep work?

Dammit! Now the secret of my special sauce is out!

 
 

actor will never do my mise en place.

 
 

Actor used to be a weatherman on tee-vee.

 
 

actor will never do my mise en place.

Hullo? Actorrrrrrrrrrr?

Mise-en-SCENE!

 
 

Actor used to be a weatherman on tee-vee.

Actually that was the anchor who said that. I’ve never been a TV anchor but I’ve played one on TeeVee…

 
 

Look what you’ve started.

 
 

Look what you’ve started.

Hey man, hate the egg, not the layah!

 
 

VS, pretty soon you’ll be boogying down!

 
 

In other words, the official administration policy on cigarette smoking is abstinence. Let’s make it the official government position on gay sex.

Shorter Ed Fischer; if I can’t get any, neither should the fags!

 
 

Shorter Ed Fischer; if I can’t get any, neither should the fags!

That’s what I was sayin’! *throws more salt in Chris’ game*

Snort…oh, joy!

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

We currently have between two and four percent of the population engaging in gay sex.

Like, right at this moment? Hot!

 
 

Like, right at this moment? Hot!

I’m humping my pony boy while I type this!

 
 

That’s what I was sayin’! *throws more salt in Chris’ game*

* shakes fist at screen, feeling annoyingly like Wile E. Coyote.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I mean, does 2-4% seem low to anyone else?

 
 

I mean, does 2-4% seem low to anyone else?

Not really. Exit polls conducted during elections show roughly 4% of the voters self-identify as gay, lesbian or bisexual. Even allowing for the fear-of-outting factor, it wouldn’t be much higher.

 
 

Wait, I thought gays accounted for roughly 10% of the population.

OK, fine, I’ll go research it.

 
 

The estimate of 2% is for out gays, 4% is when you take into account Republicans who have a wide stance.

 
 

Wait, I thought gays accounted for roughly 10% of the population.

Hang on, that figure is usually connected to adults who have had homosexual contact after their teenage years

 
 

I mean, does 2-4% seem low to anyone else?

What is it they say, 10% of the population’s gay?

So 90% of the population is off-limits to them. Factor in the additional barriers that I imagine you’d face if you were gay (huge stigma in many parts of the country, a lot of potentially available people still in the closet, the demographics are a lot more spread out than if they were say a racial or religious minority). Add to that the people too young or too old to be having sex yet/anymore and stuff like that.

And when you take all that into consideration, it seems plausible to me.

 
 

But wait, he didn’t say that between 2% and 4% of the population identified as gay. He said that’s how many were engaging in gay sex. So clearly, he’s wrongity wrongity wrong, ’cause everyone knows you don’t actually have to say “I’m gay” before getting some good hot gay sex. Now I’m really confused.

But y’all are moving way faster than me this morning. I should probably just sit back, hand VS another box of Kleenex, and keep reading. Minions: more mimosas, pls.

 
 

Wikipedia says this:

2007
Cornell University, carrying out research into sexuality amongst a representative sample of more than 20 000 young Americans, published that 14.4% of young women self-identified as being sexual and either lesbian or bisexual, whilst 5.6% of young men self-identified as being sexual and either gay or bisexual.[27]

and

2010
The National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior interviewed nearly 6,000 people nationwide between the ages of 14 and 94 found that 7 percent of women and 8 percent of men identify as gay, lesbian or bisexual, and that by age 50, 15% of men have had at least one oral sex encounter with another man.[29]

…apparently I’m behind the times, too. Also.

 
 

Now I’m really confused.

Where the hell is Poopyanus when you need him? We need a little illumnation here!

 
 

official government position on gay sex.

There’s an official government position? Do they have a pamphlet with instructional photos to achieve said position?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Yeah, but people who identify as straight have “gay” sex, too. But that probably doesn’t skew the numbers much, so I’ll just shutup.

It also occurs to me that I probably know more LGBT people than a lot of people, so my perception is flawed.

 
 

Same link as WC

1992
The National Health and Social Life Survey asked 3,432 respondents whether they had any homosexual experience. The findings were 1.3% for women within the past year, and 4.1% since 18 years; for men, 2.7% within the past year, and 4.9% since 18 years.[20]

2008
CNN exit polling showed self-identified gay, lesbian, and bisexual voters at 4% of the voting population in the United States presidential election, 2008

They can’t both be right, these studies we’re seeing

 
 

Also, it’s just a lifestyle choice, yes? When the nice person with the clipboard asks you if you are gay, you can just think about it and it’ll depend on how you’re feeling that day, or whether you think the clipboard person might be getting ready to ask you out.

 
 

Yeah, but people who identify as straight have “gay” sex, too.

Yes, but not every day…some of try, of course…but here’s the thing: you can have ten percent engaging in gay sex at some point in their adult lives and still have 4% engaging in gay sex at the moment. These are not mutually masturbating exclusive figures.

 
 

Like if Don Surber asks me out, I’m gay. But Debbie Schlussel? I’m so straight it hurts.

 
 

you can just think about it and it’ll depend on how you’re feeling that day, or whether you think the clipboard person might be getting ready to ask you out.

Damn! I gotta pay up front!

 
 

Like if Don Surber asks me out, I’m gay. But Debbie Schlussel? I’m so straight it hurts.

WIN!

 
 

it’ll depend on how you’re feeling that day

So if I’m feeling faaaaabulous, I’m gay?

Damn. This changes everything.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Yes, but not every day…some of try, of course…but here’s the thing: you can have ten percent engaging in gay sex at some point in their adult lives and still have 4% engaging in gay sex at the moment.

I’m just saying that if we’re treating gay sex as the equivalent of smoking, then the orientation of people is irrelevant, and the numbers are better calculated based on people’s experiences, not how they identify. And those numbers are probably larger than 2-4% of the population.

Also, that guy is a douchebag.

 
 

So my question is, is gay sex as addictive as smoking? Because it took me 35 years to quit smoking and I really don’t want to go through that with smoking pole.

 
 

I’m getting the feeling a lot of the anti-gay flamers are like people watching a movie with their hands over their eyes but with a couple of fingers spread. Deep inside they are interested if not aroused, but can later say they were so disgusted they had their eyes covered the whole time.

 
 

I’m just saying that if we’re treating gay sex as the equivalent of smoking, then the orientation of people is irrelevant, and the numbers are better calculated based on people’s experiences, not how they identify.

So you’re saying that, if I smoke a cigar once a year, I have to be included in that population that smokes?

I mean, in a black and white reference, I’d agree: I’m clearly not a non-smoker, but a cigar a year is hardly cause for me to have higher insurance rates.

Also, his paragraph is written in the present tense, as he’s concerned with the population currently having gay sex, and not the overarching population that may or may not have gay sex going forward.

 
 

Also, that guy is a douchebag.

Oh, he’s the full set: bag, nozzle, and hose.

 
 

On a bit more serious note, Fishy is equating the reasons it’s a good idea not to smoke (because it’ll fucking kill you) with why in his opinion it’s a good idea not to have gay sex (because THE LORD says so and also men kissing ew ew ew).

In other words the demonstrable bad effects of smoking are EXACTLY LIKE the sky-fairy story bad effects of gay sex and therefore both deserve the same level of attention from the US Surgeon General.

Yeah, I’d need to pound my own head a few times with a carpenter’s hammer before I bought that. Hey, maybe that explains Fischer.

 
 

Oh, he’s the full set: bag, nozzle, and hose.

You call that a hose?

 
 

So my question is, is gay sex as addictive as smoking?

Yes.

 
 

So my question is, is gay sex as addictive as smoking?

Yes.

I CALL ANECDATA.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Also, his paragraph is written in the present tense, as he’s concerned with the population currently having gay sex, and not the overarching population that may or may not have gay sex going forward.

I guess if you’re going to treat something like a “risky behavior” then it should target everyone who’s doing it. (Heh, doing it). Whatever. He’s a barely literate douchebag.

 
 

I CALL ANECDATA.

Recruiting.

 
 

The numbers have been disputed, researched, challenged, reresearched to fucking death. Way back when, we used to say one in ten. Was it Harvey Fierstein in Torch Song Trilogy with the “you….and you…”? In my lifetime the number has ranged between 2% and 12%. These days people are much more open to publically identifying as L/G, so that the estimate has been creping steadily upwards toward that 10%, probably asymptotically.

I recall, during the Anita Bryant era, when the fundies and H8ers focused on the then current estimation of 10% and were all “NO, there aren’t that many fags!” As though it makes complete sense to deny civil rights because they’re only 2% of the population.”

Ach, I’m too fucking old.

 
 

I guess if you’re going to treat something like a “risky behavior” then it should target everyone who’s doing it.

You can have my butt when you pry it from my cold dead lips…

 
 

Wait…let me rephrase that….

 
 

So you’re saying that, if I smoke a cigar once a year, I have to be included in that population that smokes?

Is it just a cigar?

 
 

Is it just a cigar?

He swore it was.

 
 

*puts down High School Hens In Bondage*

Obligatory.

 
 

In my lifetime the number has ranged between 2% and 12%.

The number varies with the supply of the opposite sex at hand as well. In a world in which the Promise Keepers get their way there are gonna be a lot of people looking for alternatives to the locked-up women or the locked-out men.

 
 

*walks through the door*

Also, his paragraph is written in the present tense, as he’s concerned with the population currently having gay sex, and not the overarching population that may or may not have gay sex going forward.
Also, his paragraph is written in the present tense, as he’s concerned with the population currently having gay sex, and not the overarching population that may or may not have gay sex going forward.

So my question is, is gay sex as addictive as smoking?

*backs away slowly through the door*

I think I picked a weird moment to come by.

 
 

Bah, messed up the quotes…

and really, not so weird for this place 🙂

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

and really, not so weird for this place 🙂

I was going to say that really, that wasn’t that strange of a conversation.

 
 

Mysticdog, nobody has said it was mandatory.

As I understand it, the 10% figure comes from Kinsey, but Kinsey’s research methods are apparently challenged by modern sociologists for reasons that go over my pretty little head. P-Max has it right, though:

As though it makes complete sense to deny civil rights because they’re only 2% of the population.”

Even if there were only two gay people in the world, they still ought to have the same set of civil rights as everybody else, and we should be happy they found each other.

So my question is, is gay sex as addictive as smoking?

Less risk of lung cancer, anyway.

 
 

Mysticdog, nobody has said it was mandatory.

It seems I have gotten our fight for Shania Law all wrong.

 
guitarist manqué
 

Less risk of lung cancer, anyway.

Lower taxes too, also.

 
 

Snort said,

December 10, 2010 at 18:53 (kill)

I’m getting the feeling a lot of the anti-gay flamers are like people watching a movie with their hands over their eyes but with a couple of fingers spread. Deep inside they are interested if not aroused, but can later say they were so disgusted they had their eyes covered the whole time.

Obligatory

 
 

Just to queer up the statistics even more, consider the asexuals. Someone that is attracted to neither gender is by default not-gay even though they are equally not-straight. Kinda like how people who don’t believe in god(s) but don’t want to be labelled atheist or agnostic get counted as christians. There needs to be a new label that describes the don’t-give-a-shit-ness of these folks, something like Apatheists.

 
 

Also, too. Bernie Sanders.

 
 

Way to go, DKW. Thread dead. You killed it.

 
 

Don’t blame me. Everyone’s off getting #filibuster updates – blame Bernie Sanders.

 
 

As though it makes complete sense to deny civil rights because they’re only 2% of the population.

Similarly, who cares if being gay is a “choice?” Not that I think it is but really, what difference does it make? Why should your civil rights be denied because of the choices you make?

Now you could argue, I suppose, that smoking is a choice and your right to freely assemble is limited by anti-smoking laws but that’s a false equivalence to me. You’re still allowed to smoke, just not where it can cause (measurable) problems for non-smokers. The anti-gay forces would totally abolish gay-ism if they could.

 
Disgruntled Lurker
 

No matter where they start, all the S,N! threads seem to end up talking about poop, zombies, or buttsex.

Someone should go back through the archives and do some kind of fancy statistical analysis.

 
 

Sherrod Brown I can understand, but Mary Landrieu? WTF?! She’s not up for re-election until 2014.

I dunno how long Bernie can keep this going, but the sight of an actual filibuster Mr. Smith Going to Washington style – now during the height of Jimmy Stewart season… bravo to the gentleman from Vermont.

 
 

What really rags my ass* is that being a fundie Xianist is most definitely a choice. Fuck ’em all with a 14″ ion-powered ice-auger.

*maybe it is, maybe it aint.

 
Statistician manque
 

Someone should go back through the archives and do some kind of fancy statistical analysis.

The number of threads would be 100%. The fancy analysis would have to be of how long (heh, I said long) it took before the topic was turned to poop, zombies or buttsecks.

 
 

@BarackObama #BernieSanders is showing how one voice can change a room

 
 

The problem with zombie buttsex is the hardened poop.

 
 

Mysticdog, nobody has said it was mandatory.

It seems I have gotten our fight for Shania Law all wrong.

I was going to hold out for a box turtle anyway.

 
 

poop, zombies or buttsecks.

Your model is incomplete, because it does not include DKW’s mom.

 
Disgruntled Lurker
 

{DWK’s Mom} ? {Buttsex}?

 
Disgruntled Lurker
 

Aww damn. WP made the little symbol for “is a subset of” into question mark.

 
Disgruntled Lurker
 

Cool.

{DKW’s Mom} ⊆ {Buttsex}

 
 

…if you’re into pegging.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that!

 
 

What about all those people who when you ask if they’ve had sex lately, leave out oral, anal, masturbatory, etc? And those who don’t even have sex?

I think the flaws outweigh the data on these.

There was this crazy preacher on NPR this morning on Forum… Kept saying the old-testament stuff was ‘part of the times, in the past’ and that straight marriage was part of their Cultural Dialog or something, and he wouldn’t stand for anyone telling Christian Minister (insert his name, since he randomly referred to himself as his own name rather than ‘me’, though he used ‘I’ repeatedly) so they needed to discriminate against gay relationships so they can’t have marriage or whatnot; and that gay people had to wait to get DADT overturned later or allow gay people to sign for their spouse’s immigrations visa like hetero couples do…

…At the same time touting how he’s part of these groups trying to decriminalize homosexuality and working against hate crimes and discrimination in employment and housing. And going on how Christians need to be Radical and Man Up and not Stand For Christian Ideas Being Sidelined.

Argh.

 
 

First of all I would like to say wonderful blog! I had a quick
question in which I’d like to ask if you do not mind. I was interested to know how you center yourself and clear your mind prior to writing. I’ve had trouble clearing my thoughts
in getting my ideas out. I truly do take pleasure in writing however it just seems
like the first 10 to 15 minutes are generally lost simply just trying
to figure out how to begin. Any suggestions or tips?

Thank you!

 
 

Today, while I was at work, my sister stole my apple ipad and tested to see if it
can survive a thirty foot drop, just so she can be a youtube
sensation. My iPad is now broken and she has 83 views. I know this is
completely off topic but I had to share it with someone!

 
 

Have you ever considered writing an ebook or guest authoring on other blogs?
I have a blog based upon on the same topics you discuss and would really like to
have you share some stories/information. I know my viewers would value
your work. If you are even remotely interested, feel free
to shoot me an e-mail.

 
 

Hey there your site url: http://www.sadlyno.com/archives/34069.
html seems to be redirecting to a completely different
website when I click the home-page button. You might want to have
this looked at.

 
 

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