Sharia Law: It’s Not Just A Drag Name Anymore
ABOVE: Bradlee [sic] Dean
[audio:http://www.sadlyno.com/wordpress/uploads/2010/12/Bradlee_dean_clip.mp3]
When I last noticed glam-goth-goon-rocker and Land o’Lakes poofter-in-hiding Bradlee [sic] Dean, he was showing a little love to the Muslims, saying that they were more moral than American Christians because they believed in executing gays. This seemed somewhat odd from a guy who appears to take his fashion tips from Rapunzel and Obelix and who would unlikely be mistaken for, say, Clint Eastwood.
Well, he’s back, and with his own radio show to boot, where he seems to have executed a dainty little pirouette with respect to teh Mooslims and their Sharia law. Bradlee [sic] no longer believes Sharia law is the apex of morality but is, instead, a threat to every single volume of the United States Code itself. The threat of the imposition of Sharia law, according to Bradlee [sic], comes not from the usual suspects, you know, the Muslim terrorists, the White House and Nancy Pelosi, but –and here’s the good part — from the gays themselves! Gay marriage is the precursor to Sharia law. The mechanism for this is, not surprisingly, not entirely clear but it has something to do Keith Ellison, the Muslim congressman who also supports gay marriage. Ellison supports gay marriage, says Bradlee [sic], not because he actually supports gay marriage. Ellison does this because gay marriage will cause our entire system of Christian laws to collapse to the ground leaving nothing but Sharia law to swoop in as the law of the land. If you don’t believe Bradlee [sic] said that, click on the audio player under his picture and hear for yourself.
This kind of “creative thinking” lets you see almost anything as a plot to establish Sharia law. Pseudo-gay, pseudo-ex-democrat Kevin Dujan uses this kind of pseudo-reasoning to determine that the pseudo-pr0n-scanners in the airports are a plot to establish Sharia law. It’s only a matter of time before DADT meets the same fate. The argument would be this: once DADT permits gays to go to the PX in Scarlett O’Hara drag, the rest of the Army will quit while the gay soldiers are too busy decorating their barracks to fend off the Muslim hordes, and then we all wake up in beards and burqas.
This could become the next Seven Degrees of Kevin Bacon. We could call it Seven Degrees of Keith Ellison. Name a progressive policy goal and in seven steps or less demonstrate how it will inevitably lead to Sharia law in the United States. Here are some starters: Extending unemployment benefits, not extending the Bush tax cuts for the rich, the new Food Safety bill, and, my favorite, public funding for the arts.
[Hear the entire radio show here.]
Too late. I ran across that one a few days ago – I’ll see if I can find a link.
Burqas seem roomy and comfortable. Where’s the problem.
We should get out of our boats and set them ablaze to give ourselves a sense of purpose
Question mark
I’ve never seen anything like this sharia law stuff. There’s a sizable chunk of this country afraid of a threat that just stone doesn’t exist. Sure, terrorism exists, but the idea that this country is under threat of becoming Iran is just a fucking fiction.
Christ, even McCarthy had some real traitors and Communists whose threat he could over-inflate . Guys like Dean are afraid of ghosts.
Also, I think it’s disingenuous of wingnuts to pretend that they wouldn’t dig Sharia Law.
There’s a sizable chunk of this country afraid of a threat that just stone doesn’t exist.
Rilly. How do they see the Sharia takeover actually happening? That’s what I can’t get my mind around? How do they envision any kind of “takeover” so enormous as to enable forcing American woman into mobile tents?
Wouldn’t that require, like, nuclear winter or something?
Whoa, the typos. Time for a nap.
I had some girlfriends too, but all they wanted from me is weed and shit. Shit my grandmother used to say ‘What’s better, fuckin’, a good plate with nothin’ on it… ‘ no wait I fucked up. ‘What’s a good plate with nothing on it?’
Schmokin Weed, Schmokin’ Weed, Doin’ Coke, Drinkin’ Beers…
On that note, in an effort to establish sharia law, I’m going to go poop liberally.
1) Congress extends unemployment benefits
2) Everyone in America contrives to get fired, preferring reduced pay for some limited amount of time to full employment.
3) Having become addicted to the government teat, Americans only pretend to look for work.
4) Businesses cannot find workers, no matter how high they raise wages.
5) Capitalism collapses
6) Muslims use their welfare to have more babies, while responsible Christians restrain themselves*, or are forced to have Obamacare abortions or something.
7) SHANIA LAWZ!!!
*Christian (here, as always) should be read as “white”. Non-Muslim brown people would ordinarily spawn welfare babies too, but by the magical powers of wingnut logic they momentarily don’t exist (for this argument only).
Name a Democratic policy and in seven steps or less demonstrate how it will inevitably lead to Sharia law in the United States.
Keeping abortion safe and legal while improving sex education, accessibility to birth control, and support for poor families to lessen the need for it would decrease the number of educated white people having babies while fiscally supporting the super-fecund black Muslims, causing America to start celebrating Mohamedmas publicly instead of in secret like the liberal elites do now.
I’m establishing Shar pei-a Law, wherein people must constantly throw Shar pei puppies at my feet so I may roll around in them.
SHAR PEI-A LAW: GET USED TO IT!!!!!
Which is, of course, hilarious because the sum of the major parts of the Republican agenda amount to the institution of Evangelical theocratic law here in the US.
Zombies do not lead to sharia law.
Gordon the Big Express Engine does, however.
“How do they see the Sharia takeover actually happening?”
They don’t. By and large, they know it’s all bullshit. They’ve either conned themselves into ‘believing’ something they know for a fact isn’t true, or they’re just out-and-out liars. End of discussion.
Also too, that pic aint Shooped in the least, izzit? [Something about Poe’s law goes here]
Too, also too, and speaking of pimping, if any of your PBS stations are rerunning last year’s Rick Steve’s Iran pledge show then tune in and catch The Ho at work. Not one of his best performances but what the fuck, eh?
and then we all wake up in beards and burqas.
Ooh, can I have both?
1: Axl Rose’s illegitimate stepsister starts a blog. Takes photo of self in soft lightning.
2: Photo causes everyone who sees it to collapse in laughter.
3: Mooslems, in this moment of weakness, SWOOP IN and ISLAMIFY EVERYTHING.
Very clever, Bradlee. Or should I say, Bradli al-Deen?
Uh, soft lighting, that is. Soft Lightning is actually the name of the band she’s in.
Oh, sure. This country is going to embrace a religion that doesn’t let you eat bacon.
Spaghetti Lee makes me laugh unflatteringly.
Soft Lightening occurs during The Quiet Storm.
No bacon, no booze – yeah that’s really gonna fly here. These people should stay out of the sun because of those DARK SHAPES THAT FOLLOW THEIR EVERY MOVEMENT!
will cause our entire system of Christian laws to collapse to the ground leaving nothing but Sharia law to swoop in as the law of the land.
well, duh. nature abwhores a vacuum after all…
I don’t mind getting out of the boat to read, but I refuse to listen to these assholes in real time.
the sum of the major parts of the Republican agenda amount to the institution of Evangelical theocratic law here in the US
Exactly. The Deadly Wingnut Sharia Feerz is spelled P-R-O-J-E-C-T-I-O-N.
And, dude, regarding your picture?
1) Axl’s heyday was 21 FUCKING YEARS AGO.
2) Put on some fucking long pants. Jeez.
3) Airborne? Really? With your age, apparent warm-body status, and desire to fight the terrrsts? Recruiting office. You knows where it is.
Burqas seem roomy and comfortable. Where’s the problem.
Difficulty in nose-picking?
Question mark
Hell, waterboard Mark for all I care.
As a Minnesotan, I apologize for Bradlee[sic]. He has obviously had a bad batch of lutefisk. We’ll send him to the re-education camps in Brainard. There is always hope.
Was Brainard settled by people fleeing Braintree?
Lola meets My Sharia.
Oh my little covered one, covered one
When you gonna show me some shin, Sharia?
“There’s a sizable chunk of this country afraid of a threat that just stone doesn’t exist.”
Joss Stone does too exist and she is much better than Shania but personally I am rooted for Shakira Law.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joss_Stone
“Was Brainard settled by people fleeing Braintree?”
It’s about half way to Fargo. Probably has plenty of wood chippers too.
Obviously you’re not trying hard enough.
It took me a second or two…then I larfed.
Tintin, it is “Six degrees of Kevin Bacon” not seven, or does seven degrees away from bacon qualify as more muslimy and perhaps even halal?
Little Timmy the fucking moron in the comments over there said:
“Was Brainard settled by people fleeing Braintree?”
It’s about half way to Fargo. Probably has plenty of wood chippers too.
As long as it’s far enough away from Zombietown.
” it is “Six degrees of Kevin Bacon” not seven”
Bacon + one = sharia law. duh…
I asked her her name and in a dark brown voice she said, “Sharia”. Sha-sha-sha-sharia. Sha-sha-sharia.
Was Brainard settled by people fleeing Braintree?
Have you ever seen an actual brain tree? It’s an abomination, a horror! A crime against the laws of God and man!
I’m lucky I got out of Massachusetts with my life. Well, as far as any of y’all know.
Rilly. How do they see the Sharia takeover actually happening?
Liberal activist judges, silly.
Another gem from the Timmy
For allowing visitation rights for gays in hospital. In the pole on the linked site the “This is another example of forcing a sinful and unhealthy lifesyle” has 4,113 votes. But hey, at least they called it a lifestyle, which is a step up from what they used to say.
Sha-ri-ahh, Sha-ri-ah-ahhh,
They call the wind Sha-ri-ahhh
This could become the next Seven Degrees of Kevin Bacon.
Since Sharia Law will outlaw the haram flesh of swine, this will now be known as the Seven Degrees of Tariq Aziz.
Your Mama’s yappin’ in the back seat
Tell her to push over and move them big feet
Every Monday morning I gotta drive her down to the unemployment agency
Well this morning I ain’t fighting tell her I give up
Tell her she wins if she’ll just shut up
But it’s the last time that she’s gonna be riding with me
You can tell her there’s a hot sun beating on the black top
She keeps talkin’ she’ll be walkin’ that last block
She can take a subway back to the ghetto tonight
Well I got some beer and the highway’s free
And I got you, and baby you’ve got me
Hey, hey, hey what you say Sharia Darlin’
Now there’s girls melting on the beach
And they’re so fine but so out of reach
Cause I’m stuck in traffic down, here on 53rd Street
Now Sharia my love for you is real
But I didn’t count on this package deal
And baby this car just ain’t big enough for her and me
So you can tell her there’s a hot sun beating on the black top
She keeps talkin’ she’ll be walkin’ that last block
She can take a subway back to the ghetto tonight
Well I got some beer and the highway’s free
And I got you, and baby you got me
Hey, hey, hey what you say Sharia Darlin’
Well let there be sunlight, let there be rain
Let the brokenhearted love again
Sharia we can run with our arms open before the tide
To all the girls down at Sacred Heart
And all you operators back in the Park
Say hey, hey, hey what you say Sharia Darlin’
Hey, hey, hey what you say Sharia Darlin’
In the pole on the linked site the “This is another example of forcing a sinful and unhealthy lifestyle” has 4,113 votes.
If the Poles said that, what did the Czechs say? (sorry, couldn’t resist)
Stop shoving sinful and unhealthy Poles down our throats!
Stop shoving sinful and unhealthy Poles down our throats!
Sometimes a kielbasa is just a kielbasa.
Of course, Sharia law will ban all Slavic charcuterie.
WOLVERINES!!!!!BERKSHIRE HOGS!!!!How do they envision any kind of “takeover” so enormous as to enable forcing American woman into mobile tents?
Wouldn’t that require, like, nuclear winter or something?
Actually, a Republican takeover of both houses of congress would suffice.
Why, if he’s so opposed to Sharia law, does this knucklehead wear a hijab?
“Bradlee” is a girl’s name. A redneck girl’s name, but a girl’s name nonetheless.
Well, he’s obviuosly a girlee redneck, so …
“Bradlee” is a girl’s name.
Boys with odd names names tend to get in trouble and end up in prison more than boys with standard names. They think the extra teasing does it.
Kinda explains the whole right wing.
Letting teh gheys marry, ruining marriage. Letting the brown peeples vote and citizenfy, destroying THE CONSTITUTITION. Demanding that all citizens have abortions, persecuting GOD-FEARING WHITE PEOPLE. Making the UN and POPE the KINGS of AMERICAS, killing the intent of TEH FOUNDERErS. Forcing nAtional socailism healthcare down OUR throats, making us NAZis. The Islamascicsts fool us into surrendering our FREDOMS, making SHARAI LAW.
I think I’ve made my point.
DJ Subby Mc-G linked to this in the last thread, but I thought it was so terrificy-wiffic, it deserved an encore link. Did you know that liberalism is dead?
Gee, thanks!
How I explain the right wing.
OT: I just bought this for my 2-year-old nephew. Yes, I’m the aunt who buys those sorts of things.
1. Health care reform causes ReaLAMEricans to check under their bed for death panels.
2. While they’re bent over, crack squads of the dread Pink Berets charge in and fuck them up the ass.
3. This creates a distraction that allows our radical Muslim allies to tippy toe into the country and spray paint “SHARIA NOW, OK?”, “Mohamed Rules, Jesus Drools!” and “Allah 3:16” all over important buildings such as the local V.F.W.
4. A stunned, sore, and very relaxed ReaLAMErica meekly acquiesces to its new masters.
(5. Bradleeee pouts because the Pink Berets took one look at him, said ‘Not even with Tony Perkins’ dick and left.)
That was fairly bursting with win.
“Well, he’s obviuosly a girlee redneck, so …”
Nooo!, It’s an ’80’s dood band thing. Amanda Marcotte would understand.
Hey Bradlee Dean, Bret Michaels called from 1985. He wants his look back and he sounded pissed. He said something about you getting douchebag smega all over it.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/jackolantern0221/2393556144/
Oh my proud little prayer warrior, you’re lack of self-control is SO HAWT!!
If I am merely “Pseudo-gay”, must I execute a dainty pirouette while wearing steel-toed boots? Really?? Okay, but no-way am I wearing those shorts. Those are out.
Poor little moon-faced Axl Rose. Trying so, so hard to be manly. And failing so, so miserably.
Braintrees are the logical end result of the experiments with the mice with fully-functioning human brains.
This asshat is from MN? Must be from Embarrass.
Or maybe T&U is more corect. Judges?
“Poor little moon-faced Axl Rose. Trying so, so hard to be manly. And failing so, so miserably.”
http://www.flickr.com/photos/photosgunners/4559798110/
Oh no not the whole brain. Just a piece of it. You’ll never miss it.
I’ll see your soft-focus close up and raise you:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/photosgunners/4559763628/in/photostream/
I just noticed but, uhm . . . what’s the deal with the ‘little black dress’ Bradlee?
Arky, my picture of Axl was way gayer so you lose.
I’d be bummed except the winner gets a dream date with Bradleeeee Dean.
(Not to be confused with Jimmy Dean. Bradleeeee is so str8 he won’t even LOOK at a sausage.)
Hey Vacuumslayer,
Burqas seem roomy and comfortable. Where’s the problem[?]
Where’s the problem?! No boobies!!
Suddenly the liberals got back Congress and declared Obama the democratically elected preznit after a democratic election (causing epiletic fits among proper Americans). Then suddenly all non-white peoples gathered and imposed measures against climate change like mandatory bicycle commuting, closing gas stations, making people grow their own food, read at least one book a week and finish their high school education.
Then Obama and his minions instituted a 150% tax on all rich bastards and a turned their oppulent waterfront mansions into re-education centers where wingnuts learned about cultural tolerance, love for their fellow humans and the concept of collectivism.
The rich people’s funds were redistributed giving everyone a four month mandatory vacation at the destination of their choosing and a three bedroom house with .5 acres, a chicken coop with free range chickens and seeds for a vegetable garden.
City people were given a rent subsidy if they produced art or were scientists working on solutions for cleaning the air and water.
Insurance companies were mandated to turn their profits back to the state wherein promptly everyone was offered lifetime free healthcare and private doctor’s offices were turned into free clinics, dentists had to give out dentures to anyone who didn’t have teeth and little children got free dental work.
Grocery store chains closed and people were sent home to till their land and grow their own food and sell their extra in local neighborhood coops.
Energy companies were turned over to the people wherein promptly geo-thermal systems were installed in all urban centers along with solar and/or wind power generators. Rural dwellers were able to get financing to install power generation centers on their land.
Highways crumbled as people no longer needed to travel like lemmies to work for the corporate dollar as all income generation was localized and people could walk and bike freely on the once dangerous freeway system and the cultivation of plants between the concrete cracks was encouraged.
Suddenly, the sense of peace and tranquility overcame everyone and rampant sex acts took place. People expressed their love for eachother in all ways good and enjoyed eachother. People no longer bound eachother to marriage contracts but were free to end and begin relationships as they saw fit. Children were the responsibility of the entire community and were nurtured by everyone and allowed to grow and develop free of interruption or abuse.
Sexual crimes of control and power faded away as sexuality no longer became a weapon and gender was not a tool to be used against another. No one cared about gender roles, sexual identity or other labels that divided so long ago.
Then the wingnuts died and schools and old people would talk about the dark ages when one feared walking down the streets and love was a divided and possessive thing that hurt and killed communities not bound them together.
Poor Bradley don’t you really want that? You can have it, you really, really can.
Alright so it just came out. A re-read looks like a Pol-Pot con scam but I really mean it in the true sense, really.
Lemmings, not lemmies.
“Where’s the problem?! No boobies!!”
They’re still there, I promise.
Hey! What’s a guy got to do to hold the title of pathetically self-loathing gay-hating gay conservative for more than a day?
Also2, WTF is up with the military badges on his dress? Did the U.S. military ever allow this schmuck near weapons (other than as a target)?
Sleep with Kevin DuJan and no fair chewing your arm off to escape in the morning.
They’re still there, I promise.
Scratch and sniff or it didn’t happen.
I love kate.
Have you considered kidnapping her and taking her to your tower?
I want her to be free.
You could use one of those invisible fences…if you could get her to wear a collar.
I’ve already begun wearing my burqa…so freeing. My beard has not come in yet. So until then I guess everyone’s gonna think I’m a lesbian.
If you have a beard you can go to the stoning.
WOO-HOO!!
Just don’t say “Jehova.”
tr;dl (too retarded; didn’t listen)
Maddow had a clip of this asshat enying the Taliban some moons ago … needless to say, his band RAWKS (for values of “RAWKS” that = sucking like a black hole).
If you don’t mind I think I’ll just call him [sic] for short.
Someone ought to tell [sic] that pretty well none of the folks apt to be spanking it over his publicity photos are of the female persuasion. The army patches fool no one, [sic] – your hair-extensions alone make Freddie Mercury look like Charles Bronson, gaydar-wise.
Also, it’s hard NOT to hit someone with glasses when they’re designer shades perched on top of their bandanna-swaddled head. If Sharia law threatens stoning or dismemberment for such last-intact-nerve-working douchbaggery, it is long overdue.
Forecast: heavy perm with a strong probability of guy-shadow.
This nontroversy over America’s impending surrender to Sharia law starts to smell suspiciously like a high-stakes bar-bet between Rupert Murdoch & Ted Turner.
“Go on, Ted, try to think of something too moronic & (hic) unbelievable for me to sell to Americans! Sky’s the limit! (hic)”
Put on some pants, Legolas.
As for the above “Death of Liberalism” screed, this is kind of how I imagine things ending for Dr Tyrell
Actually what that picture’s missing is a brick wall and/ or some railroad tracks.
oh, and fywp
http://www.rockandrollconfidential.com/hall/hall_detail.php?dd_keyid=89
“As for the above “Death of Liberalism” screed, this is kind of how I imagine things ending for Dr Tyrell”
Ha! If only…
Apparently some “PENIS” here.
The hall Of douchebags site makes me laugh…then feel a little guilty for it.
Burqas might be okay if they were made of light floaty gauze, in your choice of layers (I’d probably go with a three layer style) because then you’d get pleasant ventilation, but no worries about muffin top. In fact, light floaty gauze (but not for work! you know, if it could get caught in machinery, hah, as if we do that kind of work any more) would look so comfy that men would clamor for permission to wear burqas, too. Then we’d have a big decision to make.
I love kate too.
This is an excellent new word with great potential.
Ted Haggard abwhores gay sex.
So, has Tintin declares a jihad against the Log Cabin Republicans? I continue to be amazed at what he dredges up from the shallows of the conservative sewer swamp.
The hall Of douchebags site makes me laugh…then feel a little guilty for it.
Don’t. A bunch of guys who willingly get their picture taken together in such ridiculous manner so folks will come hear their music deserve your scorn. There’s no such thing as a good band photo.
Also. I have long hair, but I see this picture and think to myself, “Boy, you’re 35. You and this clown have something in common. Study on that for a while.”
Thank you for the love all and I bring it back to you who are the bestest of all things.
The rock and roll site made me laugh a lot and loudly.
Looking at the Bradley picture, since when were shorts cool? Unless you are a man with nice hairy manly, muscle legs and you’re standing on a building site with your Chippewas and a manly wool socks and cargo shorts, or same legs with doc martens and a kilt.
I really find nothing attractive about his bare nekked white thighs squished on some studio prop.
But I think it does have a smell of feminine does it no? With the red locks and far-away, bedroom eyes. He is a fetching femme-fatale no?
“Also. I have long hair, but I see this picture and think to myself, “Boy, you’re 35. You and this clown have something in common. Study on that for a while.”
If this picture would get my 26 year old son to cut his overly long, way past due red locks, I’d wallpaper it to his door.
It’s not just the long hair, though. The bandanna and sunglasses-on-his-forhead thing he’s got going just pushes it over the edge from “guy with a nice head of hair”* to “What a doofus.”
* Hate on, male-pattern-baldness-suffering haters. You know you do.
Nothing wrong with long hair (mine’s pretty damn long), but as Matt T. says it’s the whole package of douchiness that makes this dude stand out.
Well, now that I think about it, do ya think the bandanna is hiding an overly exposed scalp?
and he folds that bandanna specially so that that medallion sits right on front like a big ass target.
I’m calling it:
CLOSET JUSTIN BIEBER FANBOY.
Oooh, ooh, can I play too? Is QE2 also a precursor of Sharia law? How about platform heels? Or autotune?
AUTOTUNE IS A TOOL OF THE DEVIL!
“Hate on, male-pattern-baldness-suffering haters. You know you do.”
I’m not a hater. Never really bothered me, never tried to conceal it, never considered implants or a rug. Fortunately, I have a nicely shaped skull. I began shaving the top of my head. Gave me sort of a priestly tonsure look. I always liked the sun, so my head acquired a bronzed helmet look.
The only thing that I missed was long hair. It used to come down to my shoulders. But I couldn’t keep it, because it would look like my scalp had slipped backwards. What I really missed was the way the wind felt pulling my hair.
So to get that sensation back, I grew my beard long. I mean really, really, really long. The longest hairs reach below my sternum. It whips around very nicely with the car window down. I call it my Wizard’s Beard when I’m around children. I call it my Leo Tolstoy Beard when I want to impress adults.
Same thing with going gray. It didn’t really bother me. But I can surely understand and sympathize with men who have MPB and with anyone encountering gray hairs in the comb for the first time.
This was probably too self-referential. I should turn my attention to something more on-topic. Perhaps I’ll try to work out a storyline for Sharia Law….
Ah, you just came home from doin’ a bid
Tell me whatcha gon’ blame? SHARIA LAW!
Somebody broke in and cleaned out your crib
Tell me whatcha gon’ blame? SHARIA LAW!
Just bought a new pair and they scuffed your shoes
Tell me whatcha gon’ blame? SHARIA LAW!
Now them cops tryna throw you in them county blues
Tell me whatcha gon’ blame? SHARIA LAW!
All men who have MPB should either cut their hair very short or just shave it off. Keeping the mullet or the Hair-Band Hair is just not ok.
Just because your high school sweetheart swooned about it in 1979 or 1986 doesn’t mean anyone will now.
This can most definitely be linked to Sharia Law because under Sharia Law all men will be mandated to wear funky head dresses and hillbilly bandannas will be banned.
And this scares bradley more than anything.
Libruls hanging out your bedroom door
tell me watch gon’ blame? SHARIA LAW!
They stole all your weed and now they want more
tell me watch gon’ blame? SHARIA LAW!
They molested your mother and now she’s a whore
tell me watch gon’ blame? SHARIA LAW!
I’m calling it:
CLOSET JUSTIN BIEBER FANBOY.
Hey, lots of people like Justin Bieber:
http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2010/11/29/looks-like-im-not-the-only-adult-with-a-justin-bieber-google-alert
Your crotch done itch like a fire
tell me watch gon’ blame? SHARIA LAW!
Your wife called you a dirty rotten liar
tell me watch gon’ blame? SHARIA LAW!
you wanna put the bible on a funeral pyre
tell me watch gon’ blame? SHARIA LAW!
In the sharia law system, the will of God is represented by two separate yet equally important groups: the Committee for the Propagation of Virtue and the Prevention of Vice who investigate crime and the imams who prosecute the offenders. These are their stories.
DUN DUNNN!
Not bad, but maybe add something about a mire.
Doctor B rocks. I want a writing gig on Sharia Law.
You got your balls caught in the mire
tell me watch gon’ blame? SHARIA LAW!
and your buds call you a whimpy crier
tell me watch gon’ blame? SHARIA LAW!
your foot got run’d over by a tractor tire
tell me watch gon’ blame? SHARIA LAW!
I also love you kate.
Okay, I’ve worked up how Sharia Law takes over the world. (Bonus: It also explains my monniker.) But it’s a longish post, and I don’t want to try everyone’s patience. Should i put it up anyway? The threshold is three YES votes….
Yes you should because I shouldn’t be the only one hogging the lines
Kurt Vonnegut’s dead, and so’s the guy who pioneered the neutron bomb, so it’s up to you, man! Tell us how! (Be sure to show your work, and include Ice Nine freezing the world.)
Yes. And yes again. Does that make enough? “Cause I’ve never understood how them damn Sharias could walk down every street in Anytown, USA and make anyone wear a burqua. Besides, how do they transport all the burquas they’ll need? One big triple trailer semi that’d be.
Yes. That makes three.
Four is the new three.
There’s a word for people who imagine that the entire rest of the world is secretly plotting and conspiring against them. Can’t remember the psychiatric term, but “conservative” is close enough.
Guys. Seriously. We’re not that into you.
Five is right out!
I met a Sharia the other day on the street and she asked me if I was gay and I said no but I’m liberal and she said “Good enough” and handed me this big black sheet with a kinda steam-punk cage thing on it.
She said “wear it” and I did and then I felt a little gay but she had gone already and I saw this guy with a kilt and doc martens on and forgot about it…
Okay, two votes is enough. Bilo’s comment makes most of my story unnecessary. Most of it was explaining Ice-nine for people who didn’t know what it was. But I’ll put up a nice snippet of Vonnegut.
The set-up is a general who wants a scientific solution for Marines having to slog through mud. Is there any way to get rid of the mud? Dr. Hoenikker develops a polymorph ice crystal the solidifies every bit of water it touches.
—————-
[Vonnegut:]
“…suppose, young man, that one Marine had with him a tiny capsule containing a seed of ice-nine, a new way for the atoms of water to stack and lock, to freeze. If that Marine threw that seed into the nearest puddle…?”
“The puddle would freeze?” I guessed.
“And all the muck around the puddle?”
“It would freeze?”
“And all the puddles in the frozen muck?”
“They would freeze?”
“And the pools and the streams in the frozen muck?”
“They would freeze?”
“You bet they would !” He cried. “And the United States Marines would rise from the swamp and march on!”
——————-
…and global castrope ensues when the oceans freeze with Ice-nine. So the simple synopsis of the story is this: Sharia Law is a legal analog to Ice-nine. So it’s already too late! Sharia Law *can’t* be stopped!
I don’t have any work to show. Except I was going to tack on an epilogue about real-world substances called ‘disappearing polymorphs’. Should I change my monniker? Being an invisable shape-shifter sounds pretty nifty!
them damn Sharias
crawling all around
up the streets and down
in my head and in my hide
like bugs
going up in my behind
but I ain’t gay, no sir
cause I really didn’t like it
even when they said I did
I know I really didn’t
but I adjusted my bandanna
it was too much when he called
me anna
I ain’t no fairy godmother
I’m just a poor loser white brother
Trying to make it in Kentucky
But the Sharias they want to fuck me
So I’ll spew some hate for butthurt
cause I ain’t no frickin’ pervert
just because I didn’t cry out
Oh to hell with it, I’m going to bed shortly.
I like the IceNine, sounds kinda eighties.
Kate: I’m an old geezer, but I think steam-punk is great look. I’m a genuine DFH. Steam-punk would have been so much fun in the ’60’s!
Yes, it would have Ice and I’m no spring chicken either. In fact my lazy red headed 26 year old son was the one who clarified for certain for me what steam punk is.
And I said, “I can dig that.”
Ice-Nice is also ’60 in another sense: It is the name of the Grateful Dead’s publishing/copyright organ.
Good night IceNine.
Sha-a-ria, ba-ybee (Sharia, baby)
Sharia,
If you come out tonight
(If you come out tonight)
(If you come out)
Ay-rabs will attack
(Come out) They’ll recruit Teh Blacks
(Come out) And somehow include
Feminists, Mexicans and Jews
Sha-a-ria, ba-ybee (Sharia, baby)
Sharia,
If you come out tonight
FYWP and your misplaced hyphens.*
*Would be a pretty good name for a doo-wop band, now that I think about it.
I’m off to fix some Dirty Rice for dinner. And read some Patrick O’Brian. My second time through the Aubrey-Maturin series. I’m currently in the fifteenth novel. i’ll check back here in an hour or two. (I’m very nocturanal.)
Thanks to all the posters. This has been a very entertaining thread!
So I just finished watching Sicko (yeah, I’m a bad liberal). Fuck this place, I’m ready to move somewhere where they don’t think “socialized” is a dirty word.
Seriously. I’m totally bummed.
My Sharia don’t you know I’ve come a long, long way
I been longin’ to see her
When she’s around she takes my Constitution away
Sweet Sharia the sunlight surely hurts my eyes
I’m a lonely dreamer on a highway in the skies
Shareeee-eeeee-ee-ia,
Sharia I love you
This is what happens when Lady Liberty is forced to wear a burqa made of blotter acid.
Also, teh gay buttsecks, too.
I’m sensing a pattern here.
Where other rock bands would use a meaningless umlaut, Bradlee looks like he would prefer a little love heart or smiley face.
When you tried to tell me
The one for me was you
I was in your mattress photo like it was
back in 1982
Shaaaaaria
Shaaaaria
Shaaaaria, I won’t be soothed
I won’t be soothed
“Where other rock bands would use a meaningless umlaut, Bradlee looks like he would prefer a little love heart or smiley face.”
Lulz.
And CAKE for breakfast!! *polite applause for exford*
That’s it! It’s a really lame attempt at reverse psychology.
“Hey liberals! We really, really hate the idea of two men having sex!” [said while bent over and wiggling ass in what would be a provocative manner if said ass weren’t attached to a fReichtard.]
“Hey liberals! We really, really hate the idea of Sharia law!” [said while picking out a burqua for the wife.]
Welcome to my bunghole!
It really smells so bad
This is the worse acid
I’ve ever ever had
Wish I was back there in the suburbs
Where things are nice and loose
But they pay me so much money to stand here and skin my goose, so
So, welcome, welcome to my bungholle, welcome to my dunghill!
Both radical Muslims and radical homosexuals are fully engaged in a war against our nation, targeting our Constitution.
The best way to protect the Constitution is to institute religious restrictions on Islam and use intrusive warrantless searches to throw homos in jail.
The argument would be this: once DADT permits gays to go to the PX in Scarlett O’Hara drag, the rest of the Army will quit while the gay soldiers are too busy decorating their barracks to fend off the Muslim hordes, and then we all wake up in beards and burqas.
Because Corporal Klinger was able to turn Radar, he says this????
This asshat is from MN? Must be from Embarrass
I know, right? He’s one of Ms. Bachmann’s special friends. South Dakota is looking better and better all the time…
I’d rather have Sharia Law than Cole’s Law. (You know, cabbage and carrots with mayo.)
radical homosexuals are fully engaged in a war against our nation, targeting our Constitution.
I, for one, welcome our radical homosexual overlords, and look forward to their “Beautify America, One Wingnut At A Time” program.
Cole’s Law
D’OH!
I will not click on that audio link. I am just now recovering from the last time I check out your “facts”. I’ll take your word for it, Okay?
So the thing with steampunk events is, much like with “Renaissance1” Fair(e)s, is that they are largely a vehicle for cleavage-enhancing costumes and there’s a low makeout threshold.
However, there are lots more goggles.
1. The Renaissance didn’t happen in England, Monty Python and the Holy Grail is not really a documentary, yadda yada.
THE GOGGLES DO NOTHING