Thanksgiving With Crazy Robin

Shorter Alleged Psychotherapist Robin of Berkeley, The American “Thinker”
My First Thankful Thanksgiving

  • Now that I’m no longer a liberal, I can truly enjoy Thanksgiving for the first time because I don’t have to give a shit about whether other people are poor, hungry or lack health insurance.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™


 

Comments: 147

 
 
 

The fact is, the poor and lazy are the same and deserve there fate. We, the hardworking and patriotic, as well as the producers of wealth and jobs, should just let all of you die and recover your water and protein.

 
 

I call Fake Gary. The real Gary would never be able to string together the words “recover your water and protein,” especially without misspelling them…

 
 


When a person wakes up to the Divine, he’s still sometimes happy and other times unhappy.

Yeah, it depends on how much you had to drink before you slept with the Divine.

 
 

It is not possible to enjoy Thanksgiving without shitting, copiously, at some point.

 
 

it depends on how much you had to drink before you slept with the Divine.

Fiqqst for more Charm-Cityness.

 
 

It’s amazing how the problems of the world drop away to insignificance when one adopts right-wing “reality.”

Her family must be thrilled to know that when she is too sick to take care of herself they will be able to just drop her off in an abandoned lot to die because she’s no longer a productive member of society.

Oh, wait …

She’s not a productive member of society now, so I ask the obvious question: why wait?

 
 

The fact is, it is you hippys who are not productive, well people like Robin and I are warriors for truth in a world full of Left Wing Obama Lonny Toon Lies.

 
 

Now that I’m no longer a liberal, I can truly enjoy Thanksgiving for the first time because I don’t have to give a shit about whether other people are poor, hungry or lack health insurance.

It really is kinda weird how much the psychotics have taken over the GOP. I swear I remember Republicans who weren’t moral monsters, once upon a time.

I’m really getting a bit nervous about the coming economic collapse, ’cause I get the feeling that most of the Modern GOP have just been dying for the chance to run free and indulge their serial killer instincts, convinced that a government crash will mean all laws have been repealed. I’m a bit amazed that more of them haven’t adopted Bryan Fisher’s tactic of talking about what a merciless killer-of-men Jesus was…

 
 

Is this Tintin’s blog exclusively?

 
 

I’m a little sorry I got out of the boat. Not because the piece is full of agonizingly offensive stupid (although it is), but because the thing is so pathetically sad and simultaneously so ripe for mockery that I feel a bad about laughing at it, but am unable to stop.

 
 

wev. IPU knows I’ve never had much problem with mocking someone’s faith.

I was reading a comment by a reader who wrote the oddest and yet most intriguing thing. He/she wrote, “God is revealing Himself to you.”

Heh. You gotta watch out for those Divine trenchcoats, they have a habit of suddenly not-covering-what-they-should-be-covering at the slightest provocation.

I had no idea what the person was talking about; I had never heard language like this before. And yet because my eyes moistened, I knew that a door to something big and transformative had been opened.

Tee hee hee. I’m sure it was just your eyes that moistened. Hee hee.

 
 

I knew that a door to something big and transformative had been opened.

I remember that from the original Tomb Raider ca. 1998. You need to jump over the rolling boulders and shoot the bats to get through the door right after it opens.

 
 

Holy crap — the mangoes be rotted!

Robin actually writes that …

Never-ending gripes and grievances are the glue that keeps progressives cemented together.

… in a post in which she … gripes and whines about grievances … on a site pretty much dedicated to nothing but griping about perceived grievances.

Fucking self awareness — how does it work?!

 
 

Fucking self awareness — how does it work?!

It depends on where you put the hyphen among those first three words.

 
 

Sayeth the Lord

I am aware of all self-fucking, and I gots me a pile of kittens here.

 
 

a pile of kittens

Thanksgiving dinner is served.

 
 

Thanksgiving was never a favorite holiday of mine…I realize that I was like a spoiled child — ungrateful, mean-spirited…With my spiritual evolution, my life has come full circle.

All the way back to ungrateful mean spirited child again. Way to go Robin! You can be a selfish moronic sociopath regardless of your alleged political leanings!

 
 

Actual NYT headline: “T.S.A. Chief Visits Airport to Buck Up Employees and Defend Tactics.”

The 24th letter is causing some confusion.

 
 

I love that photoshop – it fits so well with the content. Fuck if I’m getting out of the boat.

 
 

Now that I’m no longer a liberal, I can truly enjoy Thanksgiving for the first time because I don’t have to give a shit about whether other people are poor, hungry or lack health insurance.

Also, she can now be extra thankful that she’s not one of them!

 
 

Uh, maybe I’m reading it wrong, but the poem she ends her piece with seems kinda at odds with the whole Allahu Akbar “God is Great” message she’s trying to get out.

I didn’t know much about W.S. Merwin so I done me some reading. Your Yankee Poet Laureate also, in Robin’s words, know[s] what it’s like to live with and without God. What being the apostate that he is. The apostate enviro-hippie Zen Buddhist that he is.

 
 

Funny how she can’t enjoy her peace of mind and God-inspired thankfulness without yet another bitter rant denouncing liberals, based yet again on her own self-example.

 
 

When a person wakes up to the Divine, he’s still sometimes happy and other times unhappy.

When the Divine woke up to her, on the other hand, it repented the Lord that he had made man on the earth, and it grieved him at his heart. Unfortunately we didn’t get the answer to the age-old question “can God create for Himself an arm that even He can’t chew off” because she rolled over just then.

 
 

“Never-ending gripes and grievances are the glue that keeps progressives cemented together.”

Yes. Because conservatives never have any gripes or grievances.

 
 

Tigris wins.

Five hours of driving ahead for me.

Happy T-Day, Sadly No!sians!
~

 
 

Ahhhh, coffe and Sadly, No! The perfect morning pick-me-up before a day of cooking and TV football.

Have a good, y’all!

 
 

I have a soft spot for these “I Was A Grievance-Mongering America-Hating Leftie” conversion stories. The people writing these columns never know where to stop, so they go too far and they end up sounding ridiculous. Example:

Thanksgiving was never a favorite holiday of mine. Now that I think about it, I never cared for any of them: 4th of July, Christmas, or Columbus Day

Does anyone actually celebrate Columbus Day? Like, with an actual celebration? Maybe things are different in California, but I grew up in Real America and the most I can remember were a few little events in elementary school.

Or how about this:

Why do these cashiers keep cheerfully extolling me to “have a Merry Christmas!”?

Apart from the fact that no liberal ever has talked liked this, I’d like to note that Robin “converted” before this whole “War on Christmas” nonsense took off.

Honestly folks, the mango nectar you’ve been offered is plenty good. Do not be fooled by tales of fresh fruit. Be thankful for what you’ve got.

 
 

Always. Trust. The. Shorter.™

It’s against my Christian nature to wish ill on anyone, and certainly on this day of Thanksgiving, to suggest that Robin just be thankful for what she has and not mock others, but I hope, no, I *pray* Robin loses her job and her house just in time for next Thanksgiving.

And HT-Day, all!

 
 

Yeah, it depends on how much you had to drink before you slept with the Divine.

STOP JUDGING ME!

 
 

I’m still calling Poe on Ms. Robin.

I’m convinced that one day she’s going to rip off the ‘mask’ and declare, “Ha! Pwned ya, American Thinker! I’m really the chairwoman of the Berkeley chapter of Code Pink! You guys really thought I was serious???”

 
 

Why should we celebrate Thanksgiving when the holiday marks the slaughter of Native Americans? Why do these cashiers keep cheerfully extolling me to “have a Merry Christmas!”? And if I hear one more [censored] Christmas song, I will lose my frigging mind.

Of course, I was just one of the progressive pack, parroting the party line.

You know, the only pack morons I ever hear parroting that bullshit are certain Conservatives, similar to the mid-country rattlebrains who say “here in flyover country” with a smirk as if it’s a notion anywhere other than their own imaginations. Thanksgiving celebrates the end of harvest, and commemorates the generosity of the natives without whom the settlers would have died. Also FWIW, I have never known anyone who disliked being cheerfully extolled to have a nice anything; as an atheist, I cheerfully extol them right back, no matter what holiday they wish me to enjoy.

 
 

Since it looks like WordPress is hungry for comments today, let me say this: I’m thankful that, for all the crazy right-wing relations I have, none are even one-tenth as bad as Robin of Berkeley.

 
 

tigris, you said “cheerfully” twice which is something Ms. death-to-all-who-are-not-me, has trouble with.They continue to promote their “We’re the best in the world, everyone hates us” bullshit because that’s all they have. They cannot celebrate their happiness without dumping on other people. If they took an objective step back and acknowledged the sucking vortex of greed and emptiness that their lives are it would unhinge them, but in a good way this time.

 
 

Alternate shorter:

How I learned to embrace my confirmation bias and see everything as “God’s will” so that I didn’t have to face the world’s realities. It’s wonderful!

Happy Thanksgiving, all. Be sure to resent all Euro-Americans for the slaughter of uncounted First People and turkeys on this wonderful day of resentment.

Don’t forget, the gaybortion clinics close early so get yourself in there. So to speak.

Also, I’m watching the horrible, horrible Macy’s parade in the faint hope of seeing my son march by with the Major Midwestern College Marching Band. Pity me.

 
 

It is not possible to enjoy Thanksgiving without shitting, copiously, at some point. Do you want that #2 super-sized??

 
 

Let’s see, I don’t like football, hate parades, my family is too far to visit, can’t stand crowded shopping malls, and am watching my weight so eating all that pumpkin pie is out.

Thanksgiving is my least favorite holiday. I swear Labor Day is more fun!

 
 

We… should just let all of you die and recover your water and protein.

Tell me of the waters of your homeworld, Usul.

 
 

Happy Thanksgiving, friends (except Woodrowfan, who I suspect wouldn’t thank me for it), even if you do celebrate it six weeks late. I got out of the boat, but I will not comment on the rantings of Dr. Robin, because nobody’s day of football, turkey and pie should be disrupted by such ugliness.

 
 

Happy Thanksgiving anyway Lurker.. 😛

 
 

I swear Labor Day is more fun!

Not what most mothers say.

 
 

Last year I felt I should watch the Macy’s parade because I worked there, but I didn’t. This year they didn’t hire me so welp. I still have a job though and maybe they might actually give me some hours now. Plus I don’t have cholera.
Happy Thanksgiving!

 
 

It is not possible to enjoy Thanksgiving without shitting, copiously, at some point.

If I can’t fill this spackle bucket next to me to the brim by the end of the day tomorrow then the holiday is a failure. Either way the Goldman Sachs guy and son who stole my son’s football will have custody of its contents by tomorrow night.

I’m still calling Poe on Ms. Robin.

Definitely possible but I lean towards her being a genuine example of the 18,000,000 liberals who, after the primaries, found themselves outraged by ACORN.

 
 

Speaking of Thanksgiving and the Indians, I heartily endorse this event or product:

http://www.amazon.com/Mayflower-Story-Courage-Community-War/dp/0670037605

Several decades passed before the big race war/freakout happened. Oodles of details & nuance abound in said tome. Lots of coexistence, at first. Great depopulation in the years right before the Englishers arrived, thanks to diseases spread by dirty fishermen before them, so, room on the land for the Englishers. Oh, and the Englishers chose a stoopit patch of land, too. Maps? Why buy the good map when the Lord will provide?!

 
 

I was reading a comment by a reader who wrote the oddest and yet most intriguing thing. He/she wrote, “God is revealing Himself to you.” […]

I had no idea what the person was talking about; I had never heard language like this before.

Sure you hadn’t “Robin,” suuuuure you hadn’t.

A non-traditional traditional T-Day is on tap in the PM/Ho household. Free range organic heritage breed bird is brining now. It will be disassembled a la Ste. Julia Child. The thighs get boned, seasoned, slathered with (homeomade) butter and sprinkld with sage chiffonade then sewn up. b The breast will roast on wild mushroom stuffing (bread from PM Kitchens, Inc., foraged mushrooms from the Coast Range) and homemade brown chicken stock. The trimmings – backbone and etc. go into a hot oven to roast for a bit. They will be joined by onion carrot and celery for the last 20 minutes. The resultant brown turkey stock will make insanely good gravy. Yams roasted, split and strewn with pecan streusel (and mini marshmallows, just for the Ho). Dough for the rolls is rising. Wild mushroom green bean casserole (bechamel, juice from reconstituted maitakke shrooms, sauted wild shrooms, thyme, cream, brown mustard seed) topped with crispy red onions fried in arborio rice flour. Basic cranberry/orange/apple relish but also cranberry compote all with organic Oregon cranberries and dried sour cherries from Washington state. To be honest, the canned pumpkin puree aint half bad and since I didn’t get around to processing any pumpkins this year we will avail ourselves of same. Several bottles of Willamette Valley Pinot Noir. will likely disappear by the end of the day.

Happy T-Daqy everyone! Except for you furriners and also canuckistanis who always jump the gun – premature celebration I think it’s called.

 
 

Yeah, happy Genocide Day and shit yeah?

 
 

You know who else doesn’t have cholera? The guy in this picture!

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/11/20/world/americas/20haiti.html

But why, I do not know. One of the grossest things I’ve read in a long time. Bon appetit!

 
 

The thighs get boned, seasoned, slathered with (homeomade) butter…

HAWT!

 
 

Why should we celebrate Thanksgiving when the holiday marks the generosity of the soon to be the slaughtered of Native Americans?

Poor Robin, so victimized.

 
 

Today is the day when all RealAmericans™ give thanks for the tax-cuts bestowed upon them by Obama JESUS, the improvements to health-care passed by Obama TEH FOUNDING FATHERS, credit-card reforms passed by Obama FREE-MARKET CAPITALISM, & the more humane student-loan program instituted by Obama CHUCK NORRIS & TED NUGENT.

Amen.

 
 

Whoah. It’s suddenly like Tag-apalooza in here.

 
 

…at least I didn’t wiki-roll anybody.

 
 

“Yeah, it depends on how much you had to drink before you slept with the Divine.”

Everyone who sleeps with me wakes up happy.

 
 

sucking vortex of greed and emptiness
HAWT.

 
 

A Randian Thanksgiving is always so joyful in hard times when you are flush.

 
 

“sucking vortex of greed and emptiness”

God Bless America!

 
 

A Randian Thanksgiving

Child: Mom, can you pass me the sweet potatoes, please?

Mom: What are you giving me in return, you grasping anti-life second-hander? As long as you are under my roof, you’ll live by my rules and A is A in this house!

 
 

“sucking vortex of greed and emptiness”</I

YOO ESS AY! YOO ESS AY!

Chatting 'bout politics at the dog park teh udder day (no problem, this is Portland after all) someone mentioned the US ranking of 37th or something on the health care scene and I shouted as above. Fellow says "I've never seen a team in last place with so much confidencethey're winning."

 
 

I am thankful today for not tag FAILing *too* much.

 
 

I just wonder, would Robin and her commenters be so thankful if the US was only the second-greatest country in the entire history of the world? What about the 3rd-greatest? When would they stop being thankful for their full bellies, warm houses, and healthy families — if the US was only the 47th-greatest? Inquiring minds want to know!

(Except not actually… because I know already: if you even suggest to these “people” — and I use the term advisedly — that they might be thankful for their own blessings, without asserting total moral supremacy over everyone else who’s ever lived who isn’t exactly like them, they freak out.)

 
 

I am giving thanks for PETER SIDDLE’S ROUTING OF THE ENGLISH BATTING ORDER

/fellow proud Victorian

 
 

re: PETER SIDDLE.

OMG, could Cricket be any more homosexual?

A position of potential impregnability was sacrificed on the Brisbane slab.

The ritual was performed, appropriately by an unprepossessing man who was once a junior wood chopping champion. Peter Siddle sliced through English flesh with what had appeared, in the morning, a blunt axe.

…teasing edges from a fuller, more demanding length and snaking a beauty through…

…and straining to do so often results in overcompensation. Balls that were intended…

…A decent ball outside off stump drew Cook outside his comfort zone and he nicked to slip…

…It slipped through his ponderous shuffle to take out his off stump…

…Late and unprepared, he was beaten by the swing and intensity of a leg-stump yorker and was lbw…

…or at the fag end when everyone else is spent.

 
 

I just wonder, would Robin and her commenters be so thankful if the US was only the second-greatest country in the entire history of the world?

What’s the US #1 in?

 
 

…or at the fag end when everyone else is spent.

The proverbial “Sticky Wicket”?

 
 

What’s the US #1 in?

It has defense spending totally locked up and is at or near the top in number of people in prison, which is evidence that even conservatives can achieve their goals if they really apply themselves.

 
 

There you liberals go again with your gripes and grievances.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Robin’s just angry because people are eating turkey on Thanksgiving instead of robin.

 
 

If I’m being completely honest here, my main activities during the holidays were ranting and raving. For instance: Why should we celebrate Thanksgiving when the holiday marks the slaughter of Native Americans? Why do these cashiers keep cheerfully extolling me to “have a Merry Christmas!”? And if I hear one more [censored] Christmas song, I will lose my frigging mind.

Only liberals complain about Christmas music.

 
Even more disgusting Perv
 

Do you know how easy it is to look up-skirts from down here?

 
the ugly hunchback that washes dishes and rings the dinner bell
 

Biodegradable plates people. Think about it for next year.

http://www.branchhome.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&products_id=181

Salud, Si!
Also.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

If I’m being completely honest here, my main activities during the holidays were ranting and raving.

That’s not the mark of a liberal- it’s the mark of a lunatic.

 
 

If I’m being completely honest here, my main activities during the holidays were ranting and raving.

Robin’s mom’s main activities during the holidays were slightly different. However, they did involve passionate outbursts and emotional releases. Possibly even some deeply religious experiences, at least judging by the number of times she kept calling out for her God.

 
 

In other news, Desert Bus for Hope is wrapping up for 2010.

 
 

Uh, my bad. Wrapping up next hour, the magnificent bastards.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Oh, and Happy Thanksgiving to all.

 
 

Remember, when you lambaste the United States, first make sure you have everything ready (lambasting brush or squeeze-bulb lambaster) so you can lambaste it quickly. If you have the oven door open, it will cool down and your United States will take even longer to cook.

Also, now that bald eagles aren’t endangered, cooking a turdeagleken1 is no longer a felony!

1The “d” had to stay in because not enough foods have the word2 “turd” in them.

2. Chitlins really ought to.

 
 

I was under the delusion that living in another country, any other country, would be better than in the world’s oppressor, the U.S. of A.

Now what kind of idiot thinks the oppressed have it better than the oppressor?

 
 

Suck my person!

 
 

Not getting out of the boat.

I’m just going to be thankful that today, Tom DeLay is a convicted felon.

 
 

As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.

 
 

Hmmm… So three years ago, her bottom falls off, and 1 year after that she starts writin’ fer the toilet merkins, and it is only this year that she is able to enjoy Thanksgiving to it’s ripe, juicy, proud fullness.

I think… Robin has a girlfriend!!

 
 

So, she was an obnoxious, unlikeable, self-righteous left-wing jerk who hated everyone around her before she became an obnoxious, unlikeable, self-righteous right-wing jerk who hates everyone around her?
Boy, just the kind of person I would want for a therapist.

 
 

I am ThankFull for this:

“The Nevada Legislature in 1995 passed a law that specifies that breasts are not genitals and that it is perfectly legal for mothers to breast-feed in public, Pickering noted.”

Thank goodness THAT’S settled.

 
 

“So, she was an obnoxious, unlikeable, self-righteous left-wing jerk who hated everyone around her before she became an obnoxious, unlikeable, self-righteous right-wing jerk who hates everyone around her?
Boy, just the kind of person I would want for a therapist.”

Lancelot Link FTW.

(To say nothing of how embarrassing it will be for Robin when she realizes one day that she has lived her entire life letting other people dictate her opinions, prejudices, and reactions. And she WILL realize it, when she’s old and near death, and she will stew in that last foggy bitterness until darkness falls. God is laughing, Sabu.)

I’m thankful for SadlyNo.com and the commenters here.

 
 

Yes, OTB, Brave Soeur Robin ran away, ran away from those horrible hairy hippies, and became Robin o’ the Berkshire Hunt.*

*Cockney rhyming slang alert

 
 

“Never-ending gripes and grievances are the glue that keeps progressives cemented together.”

= Observing and discussing serious problems and dangers in our world, and working to solve or at least alleviate some of them…

 
 

She was just as stupid as a “liberal” as she is as a conservative. Because she isn’t actually either of those type of persons, she’s just another common, garden-variety, selfish malicious bitch.

 
The Tragically Flip
 


Of course, I was just one of the progressive pack, parroting the party line. Being a Leftist means honing in on every possible injustice.

As opposed to being a rightie, which means creating every possible injustice.

Damn those lefties, being concerned with ALL kinds of injustice, not just the ones that personally affect them!

 
 

ahahahaha, she literally called herself a “true believer”.

Yeesh.

 
 

“Never-ending gripes and grievances are the glue that keeps progressives cemented together.”

in which brave sir robin takes one substance, glue, and imputes upon it a relationship to another substance, cement, with which it holds no truck at all.

you see, one uses mortar rather than glue. but what do i know i’m just a nit-picking progressive.

also, and too, WTF tintin? where did everybody go? can you get them to come back? you are great and i enjoy the blog stylings very much, but…c’mon dude, we need you motherfuckers NOWMORETHANEVER

 
 

The fact is you liberals are fagets.

 
Enraged Bull Limpet
 

I’m simmering with resentment on this Thanksgiving Day ‘cuz my PNW fall/winter garden was clobbered by a unseasonably early hard freeze this week. Having to depend on Whole Foods for the next few months’ organic arugula supply is truly depressing.

 
 

Holy crap, related link from N__B’s Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=67fFDiPRsrk&NR=1

 
 

I wonder how many times they had to do that before they knew where to put the net.

 
 

I am thankful for this sparrow, and the curtain rod I have to roast it on. It’s you liberal ee-leets who are thankful for faggy shit like turkeys and family.

 
 

I am also thankful for the phrase “Convicted Felon Tom DeLay.” Just let it roll around in your mouth for a little.

 
 

Conscripted penguin Frito Lay?

 
400-Pound Hell's Angel in Cellblock D
 

Actually, it’s Margaret DeLay now. S/he and I discussed this.

 
 

I am thankful for this sparrow, and the curtain rod I have to roast it on.

Thanksgiving 2018

 
 

I am thankful for this sparrow, and the curtain rod I have to roast it on.

I am even more thankful that those dusky moochers under the next overpass have no sparrow, because that means I’m better than them. I am also thankful that Bog has bestowed these many blessings of an overpass to keep me dry, cozy cardboard box to sleep in, and dusky people to look down upon.

Remember, Bog will never give you a burden you cannot bear. No matter how much it hurts.

 
 

I think any self-respecting convict would sooner fuck their cell toilet than make Tom their prison bitch. A lot warmer, first of all, and definitely more attractive.

 
 

A thankful, tender sentiment from the man with the golden arm:

Thanksgiving Day, Nov 28,1986

 
Enraged Bull Limpet
 

Y’all think you’re kidding about the sparrows? I grew up in Alaska and have eaten many a roasted sparrow, mostly in the days before my parents deemed me mature enough to bear something more muscular than a Daisy .BB gun.

Where I came from the hunter/gatherer ethos reigned supreme. But nowadays, the most macho thing I do is whine about unseasonably early freezes besetting my organic veggie garden. DemocRATic propaganda is surely to blame for that…

 
 

I saw one of those moochers from the next overpass with a sparrow once… they must have stolen it! From real Murricans!

Let ’em all go to hell, except Overpass 76!

 
 

I shall copypasta from BalloonJuice:

http://www.balloon-juice.com/balloon-juice-lexicon-a-h/

27 Percenters – Those Americans who will predictably vote against their own best interests. In his seminal post on the Crazification Factor, John Rogers used the 2004 Obama/Keyes senate race as a measure: “Keyes was from out of state, so you can eliminate any established political base; both candidates were black, so you can factor out racism; and Keyes was plainly, obviously, completely crazy. Batshit crazy. Head-trauma crazy. But 27% of the population of Illinois voted for him. They put party identification, personal prejudice, whatever ahead of rational judgement. Hell, even like 5% of Democrats voted for him. That’s crazy behaviour. I think you have to assume a 27% Crazification Factor in any population.”

Or, as commenter Davis X. Machina phrased it:

“The salient fact of American politics is that there are fifty to seventy million voters each of who will volunteer to live, with his family, in a cardboard box under an overpass, and cook sparrows on an old curtain rod, if someone would only guarantee that the black, gay, Hispanic, liberal, whatever, in the next box over doesn’t even have a curtain rod, or a sparrow to put on it.”

 
 

An enterprising convict would acquire the rights to Tommy ‘Show Me Da Munny’ DeLay, through those tactics that any astute convict would use, and sell him on the yard for a pack a whack. Great sales pitch- ‘Fuck the bitch what fucked the whole muthafukkin country!’ Or ‘Stuff a real Wild Turkey, homes!’

Oh, yeah, Happy Thanksgiving Day, from myself, the Creaturette and the Li’l Creaturette.

 
 

Um, as a general rule, the people who take the greatest offense to Christmas songs are people who did time as retail workers. Politics don’t enter into it; it’s all about the carpet bombing effect. Not to mention the oldies and classic hits stations that go all-Christmas, all the time…

 
 

Thanks, stryx, I for one hadn’t seen that before. Puts it rather well, don’t he?

 
 

My problem with Christmas songs is that there’s only been about 10 of them ever written and after you’ve heard them over and over and over and over…….

 
 

I want more Christmas songs celebrating the reign of Jack Skellington.

 
 

I am thankful for this sparrow, and the curtain rod I have to roast it on.

HAH! Fire. LUXURY.

 
 

Award-worthy AT comment:

Posted by: Neo-libertarian
Nov 24, 07:38 AM

I am waiting for November 2012 when Palin walks out on the veranda with a hatchet wearing a rubber apron at the Thanksgiving Turkey Event.

 
david gergen is the third lemming
 

The nanny state told me to bake my stuffing outside the bird instead of inside the bird, which is the American tradition. This is why voters hate democrats, stuffing cooked outside the bird. I recommend cooking half the stuffing outside and half the stuffing inside. The same number of people will get sick as if they all ate stuffing cooked exclusively inside the bird, but it appears to be a compromise.

 
 

OT – Christwire.net is a supertanker filled with very rotten mangoes that has hit the Reef of Reality and spilled its mango load all over Sanity Beach. 1000s of former homeless are now employed, scouring the beach with Pooper Scoopers, but Sanity will never be the same again.

For example, Blacks Are Scary, More So At Night. [Actual Title, not a Shorter!]

Or maybe Racial Study: Why Americans Are Afraid of Non-American Descent People. [Again, not a Shorter!]

And finally (but not really, the place is a mango apocalypse), The Anti-Masturbation Movement’s 14 Greatest Inventions. This one’s got lots of pictures!

A place so fucking crazy that even the most discerning snarkmeisters cannot provide an answer to the question, ” Poe or no Poe?”

And, you’re welcome, also too.

 
 

…waiting for November 2012 when Palin walks out on the veranda…

Moderate Democrats point out that the earliest that Palin could participate in the Turkey Pardon is November 2013, while Republicans say that she is already President.

On the extreme end of the spectrum, leftist liberals and terrorist sympathizers point to a long history of polling indicating that Palin has virtually no chance at the Presidency in 2012. Some even claim that a failed Vice-Presidential candidacy has a tendency to end political careers by pointing out that the only one still holding any public office today is Joe Lieberman. Research shows that these fringe moonbats are completely off-base and wrong about everything. The last failed VP candidate to later successfully run for President was FDR, albeit twelve years after he lost in 1920.

 
 

Hmmmm, needs moar balance.

On the extreme end of the spectrum, leftist liberals and terrorist sympathizers point to a long history of polling indicating that Palin has virtually no chance at the Presidency in 2012.

When asked about these polls, Palin supporters dismiss them as not being representative of Real America.

Great. Let’s file this baby.

 
 

I read the whole thing, and the comments too. Sounds like Robin has written her report for fifth grade, and borrowed heavily from Human Events. Her community sounds like fifth grade too, at the Christian Academy, where they all raise their hands simultaneously and cry, “Call on me, I know! I know what’s the matter with them, they never sing out loud in Church, and they never bow their heads during the prayer, they’re always looking around smirking and winking.”

I never bowed my head either, because it hurt, especially for if the prayer was more than fifteen seconds, but I always said “Amen”. Amen

 
 

I never bow my head because my skull lacks the requisite flexibility. I also rarely bow my neck.

 
 

Hi, guys! I can see Robin of Berkeley from my house!

Well, okay, there is a ridge partially obscuring her, and in fact it may be the Richmond refinery instead of Robin, and it’s not really my house…but other than that, I’m a-lookin’ east, and despite Robin’s best attempts, it looks pretty.

I am thankful for you knuckleheads, and also for the house I am staying in which is not mine, and the pets I am caring for, also not mine: the sweetest, most beautiful golden retriever ever, and his best friend, a tiny, friendly, elaborately-patterned tortie kitty.

And now the golden pup and I will head out on our hike. It’s supposed to rain tomorrow, but today the sun is out. (Also the ticks, but the golden loves being brushed and combed and inspected.)

 
 

This American Thanksgiving, I’m thankful that we Canucks got this whole Thanksgiving Day thing over with in October. The less time I have to spend with my extended family the better.

Also, I wish there were more Christmas songs like this. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wjEIP6otc4Y

I find that song genuinely touching.

 
 

A place so fucking crazy that even the most discerning snarkmeisters cannot provide an answer to the question, ” Poe or no Poe?”

I say definitely Poe–more Poe than Edgar Allan himself. A couple representative quotes (from “Do Gay Pets Go To Heaven?”):

Whether an animal is “gay” or not, the short answer to this question is no. Some Christian thinkers have tried to argue otherwise, but the Bible is very clear that God created animals to be the servants of humans. They are there to carry things for us and to be cooked as meat when we’re hungry. Some animals violate these rules. They serve no purpose for humanity; rather they distract and harass us. Beasts must serve humans and not the other way around. Some animals do trick their human masters into becoming helpless slaves, commanding fresh food and the central spot on the couch. As I have explored before, the cat is one of the most common offenders against the commandments of God and it is truly a sin for a Christian to own one.

…but nowhere in the Bible is a cat referred to in a positive light. In fact, amazingly not one of the Apostles ever owned a cat! (It goes without saying that Jesus never did.) In the Good Book, they are often referred to as “beasts,” something akin to Satan’s serpent. Notorious King Herod was a cat owner and these pets were likely present at his birthday party where John the Baptist was beheaded. Lions– a direct member of the feline species– were specifically chosen to murder early Christians in the coliseums of the pagan Roman Empire.

70,000 kittens are born every day in the United States. This is clearly an American problem. Most people assume pussies are easy to care for, but once they’ve come into possession of one they realize this is far from the truth. With the evident health and moral problems, can we really continue to believe that there is no harm in cat ownership?

 
 

Most people assume pussies are easy to care for

If this isn’t a Poe, I’m frightened.

 
 

It’s hard to tell which way the Christwire is going when you have ads for Liberty University and Meet Gay Singles on the same screen. However, the writing style is too good and too funny to be serious. Poe’s Law Wins.

 
Um, y'all really don't know?
 

A Niche of the Unreal in a World of Credulity

 
 

Sadly, no.

nuff said.

 
 

Doug Ross says of this comment.

“Now that I’m no longer a liberal, I can truly enjoy Thanksgiving for the first time because I don’t have to give a shit about whether other people are poor, hungry or lack health insurance.”

– Never mind that the system that has enriched and fed more people around the world than any other is the free market — otherwise known as capitalism, which the crackpottery routinely rejects.

Never mind that the authoritarian and Fabian socialist systems that the left idolizes are collapsing as we speak.

Never mind that we already have Medicaid for the poor. And Medicare for the elderly. And those systems, too, are melting down.

Never mind that 75% of all pharmaceutical and medical innovation — which the bankrupt NHS and Canadian health care systems freeload upon — originate in the United States. And that those systems are bankrupt. Just like Medicare and Social Security. And the insanity of ladling on another monstrous entitlement — a bill that no one read and fewer understand — is just the ticket for the economic illiterates.

But facts, logic, reason and history have never been strong suits for the Left. – Doug Ross

 
 

But facts, logic, reason and history have never been strong suits for the Left. – Doug Ross

Nevermind that food kitchens are reporting a 40% increase over 2008 in meals served.

Nevermind that the capitalist system has failed to feed 57 million people this week alone.

Nevermind that more people are on food stamps as a percentage of the population than at any time since 1995.

Doug Ross can kiss my motherfucking (DKW’s mom can testify) ass.

 
 

I also rarely bow my neck.

I do, but the cello sounds really crappy.

 
 

Biodegradable plates people. Think about it for next year.

Dude, you already bury the fine china instead of washing it!

 
 

Dragon-King Wangchuck, journalist said,
November 26, 2010 at 16:26

…waiting for November 2012 when Palin walks out on the veranda…

Moderate Democrats point out that the earliest that Palin could participate in the Turkey Pardon is November 2013, while Republicans say that she is already President.

Or possibly they hope Palin will walk out on the veranda with a hatchet wearing a rubber apron WHILE OBAMA IS STILL PRESIDENT!

 
 

I’m not mean spirited and a snob. I’m just better than you.

 
 

Dude, you already bury the fine china instead of washing it!

Well you’re the one who put treif on it.

 
 

Yeah, THAT BITCH! She should be be taunted, mocked, hated upon , smeared and , well, let’s face it….FLOGGED. I mean, how dare she write such tripe? I mean, she is the very face of evil and most likely a racist. WHO EATS BABIES AND PUPPIES!

 
 

Nothing better than Babpuppen for Thanksgiving. Unless it’s spending all day stewing about how thankful you are not to be one of those horrible hell-bound people who HATE AMERICA.

 
 

—Nevermind that food kitchens are reporting a 40% increase over 2008 in meals served.

I have no doubt that since Obama has been in office food kitchen traffic has increased. What’s your point?

—Nevermind that the capitalist system has failed to feed 57 million people this week alone.

Yeah. 57 million people in the world (or are you so deranged that that this figure that you’ve pulled out of your floppy sphincter is supposed to be the U.S. alone?), under capitalism, went hungry last week. What was the number under communism and socialism? Can there even be an accurate count of that, with all the openness and transparency of a leftist government?
~~ Nevermind that more people are on food stamps as a percentage of the population than at any time since 1995.

Why is this a problem? According to Pelosi this is the fastest and most effective way to stimulate the economy!

 
 

I hope Palin can walk out in January 2012 with a axe and feed a certain Kenyan Turkey to the straving masses.

 
 

With a name like BigFurHat, I’m surprised you haven’t tried to get cozy with Ben Shapiro a few posts down.

 
 

–Yeah. 57 million people in the world

I don’t know where the 57 million number comes from but according to world hunger.org the number of hungry people worldwide is actually closer to 925 million. Worldwide.

http://www.worldhunger.org/articles/Learn/world%20hunger%20facts%202002.htm

 
 

I have no doubt that since Obama has been in office food kitchen traffic has increased. What’s your point?

“If you want to live like a Republican, vote Democratic”. You know, Furball, we’re a bit tired of cleaning up your fucking messes. Grow up, get a haircut, get a job and leave the country to people who give a damn about it.

 
 

I don’t know where the 57 million number comes

According to Hunger in America, one in six Americans is receiving either public or private food assistance this week.

 
 

I wasn’t doubting that there are hungry people in America, Actor. And if I wasn’t so tired at 3AM when I posted that I might have realized that 50 million or so Americans are one in six. I was calling into question BigFurHate’s assertion that the 57 million hungry people was worldwide.

We could also cite the fact that one in three children in the developing world (you know those people who work in the sweatshops making temporary consumer goods for richer people in the developed world) fall under the definition of hungry thus supporting your assertion that the capitalist system fails to feed massive chunks of people and in fact that failure seems to be an intrisic quality of the system.
*again my stat here comes from worldhunger.org

 
 

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