I married a really smart woman
Last night Mrs. G and I were discussing current events, such as they are. Neither of us was surprised by Lance Bass’ gaiety, and we decided that the Brooke Astor situation would make a fine setup for an episode of Law & Order: Criminal Intent. We next considered the irony that the Massachusetts Turnpike Authority chairman lost his job after someone was killed by a collapse in the Big Dig, yet no high-ranking officials have been held vocationally accountable for one of the most egregious and deadly security breaches in world history. This irony, we agreed, was compounded by the eventual promotion of our national security adviser that morning to secretary of state, where her job responsibilities include preventing – or, if possible, delaying – the end of the entire fucking world. Let’s just say that I report only modest confidence in her abilities. “She didn’t even invite Syria and Iran to the goddamn peace talks!” I said through a bite of fish taco.
“Wait – isn’t that kind of like going to marriage counseling alone?” asked my wise and lovely bride.
Just so you know, if you don’t treat that woman right, I’m gonna move in on her.
I love her already!
What would Syria and Iran do at the peace talks? It’s not like they are in reasonable proximity to the shitstorm or, you know, are supplying one side with weapons and finances or anything.
Wait, they are? Wait, which conflict are we talking about again?
Oh, shit. Uh, I need to, uh … HOLY FUCK what’s that over there?
/scurry out the door
Well, here’s the thing that I find incomprehensible: “No, we don’t want the sides to agree to a ceasefire until it’s permanent and all problems are solved.”
Has there EVER, in the history of the Universe, been a SecState who said, “No thanks, we’d rather they kept fighting?” Isn’t it well-established tradition that they have to at least pretend that they want the fighting to stop?
Why on earth isn’t more being made of this?
Has there EVER, in the history of the Universe, been a SecState who said, “No thanks, we’d rather they kept fighting?� Isn’t it well-established tradition that they have to at least pretend that they want the fighting to stop?
Simple. We’re letting them fight each other over there so we don’t have to fight them here.
I know!! AAARRRRGGGGHHHH! Just what the hell good is America’s diplomatic corps? They won’t negotiate a cease fire, indeed, they seem to be in favor of endless bloodshed, they won’t talk to half of the players because that would be “rewarding” terrorism. Huh? If talking gets you what you want and not talking makes things worse for you, just exactly who is being rewarded? It’s all part of the militarization of American Society. We’d rather start shooting than start talking. These asshats are lunatics…
mikey
Has there EVER, in the history of the Universe, been a SecState who said, “No thanks, we’d rather they kept fighting?�
Sure. The Secretary of State for the Klingon Empire… Romulon? Vorgon? Gondor??? (Eventually this joke is going to pay off.) The Red Queen’s Foreign Minister in Wonderland!?!
Oh. By “universe” I think you meant to say “reality”? In that case the answer’s NOOOO!!!
Who is being rewarded? Well, arms manufacturers for one, oil companies for another (it don’t cost BP $75 to drill a barrel, but if that’s the going rate on the world market, that’s what they’ll sell it for). Probably security firms as well.
The average guy, not so much. I was watching War of the Worlds last night on HBO (kinda sucked). And while I was watching it, with the crowds of people scrambling for safety, trying to get out of the cities, I kept thinking: Well, this is probably what it’s like for your average person in Lebanon right now. Don’t need aliens zappin’ people. Jets with bombs will do the same thing.
“Wait – isn’t that kind of like going to marriage counseling alone?� asked my wise and lovely bride.
__________________
I do not doubt that your bride is lovely. Nor do I doubt her intelligence, or her wit, or her taste, or the goodness in her heart.
But “wise?”
Let’s not get carried away here. Sadly, not much wisdom is found on the left these days. Oh, I am not suggesting that you or your wife are unwise when it comes to outed gay dancers or elder abuse or promising subjects for TV crime dramas or where to buy the best fish tacos, but the lessons of Neville Chamberlain are completely lost on you. The idea of comparing negotiations with terrorist states to marriage counseling I think proves my point.
the lessons of Neville Chamberlain are completely lost on you
The lesson of Neville Chamberlain, as we all know, is that everyone the U.S. opposes is Hitler. Iraq, Iran, Syria, North Korea, they are Nazi Germanys one and all.
What’s amusing, of course, is that negotiations with Syria and Iran are positively unthinkable, until next week when we actually do it and everyone praises the wisdom and good sense of George W. Bush. Seriously, we’ll negotiate with al-Qaeda in Iraq, but we can never ever negotiate with Iran? That makes a whole lot of sense.
““She didn’t even invite Syria and Iran to the goddamn peace talks!â€? I said through a bite of fish taco.”
You talk about politics during foreplay? weird.
Jose, you are so right. Your (and my) crude, broad-strokes-only understanding of pre-World War II diplomacy have served us so well up to now, why change anything? Nuance is for sissies, and so is so-called “diplomacy.” They can nuke each other and let the Good Lord (the CHRISTIAN Lord, the and only) sort ’em out.
that’s, “CHRISTIAN Lord, the one and only.” Of course!
Wow, it took a whole three hours before someone made a fish taco joke.
When people like Jose are ignorant of reality, they often pretend to know more than they really do. The unabashed confidence exhibited in his words cannot hide his misunderstanding of what is really happening in the world today.
Who do you think you are fooling, Jose? Unfortunately, now you have left a comment that displays your naivete to everyone viewing this site.
In a Washington Post op-ed, Warren Christopher says, basically, “hey, let’s start by getting these guys to stop with the killing. What do you say?”
I don’t have the stomach to click the links, but I see on memeorandum what the bright lights such as Cap’n Mr Ed have to say in response to Christopher: Christopher Teaches All the Wrong Lessons.
If anyone sees my sanity around, tell it not to come home just yet. The time isn’t right.
Let’s not get carried away here. Sadly, not much wisdom is found on the left these days. Oh, I am not suggesting that you or your wife are unwise when it comes to outed gay dancers or elder abuse or promising subjects for TV crime dramas or where to buy the best fish tacos, but the lessons of Neville Chamberlain are completely lost on you. The idea of comparing negotiations with terrorist states to marriage counseling I think proves my point.
Jose is right, of course, if we all agree that “wise” means willing and able to promote as a means of refuting a good analogy another analogy that falls apart after a nanosecond of examination (negotiating peace = appeasement? how’s that again?). Or if we agree that “wisdom” means never having to examine the reality of a situation, ever, in order to have a firm opinion about it. And of course if we agree that it is “wise” to use pre-fab terms like “terrorist states” in order to not make a rational argument because making a rational argument would be . . . well, unwise.
Jose is repeating a currently popular talking point, is all. A few weeks ago he would have been talking about the “knife in the back.” Today it’s Chamberlain. Next week, who knows. Probably something about how it’s all Clinton’s fault.
Nathan Lane is gay?
Jose, you must have a point in order for it to be proven. “You’re dumb. QED. Therefore. Here unto after. lol?” is not a point.
The wife’s comment is valid, not because the scenarios are equal, but because they share a comparable level of absurdity.
Although I’m sure there are individual couseling sessions that are not together, the idea of going the entirety by your one-sie is a poor idea, savvy?
Wow, it took a whole three hours before someone made a fish taco joke.
Wait, so are there really tacos made with fish? Because I thought they were just having WAY more fun watching the news than anyone I’ve ever met.
yeah, wives are pretty much awesome. i’m sure if ben in va was around, he’d agree with me…
Yeah, prolly teh best th1ng EVA!!!11!
Yes, the foodies I know love fish tacos. The FT postdates my conversion to vegetarianism, so I have no idea what the big deal is.
What, you guys don’t have fish tacos east of, what, Sacramento? Fish tacos are one of the great bounties offered by our diverse planet. If you ever get a chance to go to san diego, you can sample a wonderful selection of fish tacos as you travel south from there to Ensenada. And do some pleasant surfing at the same time.
As for Jose, sorry, dood, you’re just stoopid. If Iran, Syria, NoKor etc are only to be dissed as “Terrorist States” (Gawd, we REALLY need a working definition of that fucking word), why are all you Right Wingers so terrified of them? If however, Iran represents the “Greatest Threat to America ™” (Thanks george, but have you ever noticed that great big country in asia?), wouldn’t it make sense to talk to them? I mean, if the choice is to open talks or open fire, how is this even a choice? Gawd, these dim bulb fuckwads piss me off. I’m gonn have a scotch…
mikey
Neville Fucking Chamberlain?
“fish taco”? heh hehheh heh…
Wait, you don’t talk about politics while having sex? I kid. My partner’s current rule is that any conversational overtures I attempt during sex must be limited to the sex itself. Man, you offer your opinions *just once* on the possible existence of dead-end members of the giant ground sloth family, and they come over all fascist on you.
What’s this talk of marriage counselling. Better tread carefully Travis, she’s got it on her mind.
Of course, when Israel’s Big Lebanon Adventure winds up costing waaaaaay more IDF lives and American (or should I say borrowed Chinese?) treasure “than anyone could have foreseen!”, people like “Jose Chung” (Swing, Ameeeeerican!) won’t admit that they were wrong, or that the end result surprised them. No, they’ll have long ago switched to the latest talking point spit-up by their long suffering fax machine (“it is all the fault of teh fags!” “it is all part of the Clenis’ evil, evil plan!”). Hopefully, it won’t take Israel 18 goddamned years this time to figure they’ve fucked up again.
Oh, and BTW, thanx, breeders, for rubbing my nose in the “you can’t get married, suxxorr!”-thing. Um, other than in MA. For the time being. Or Manada. And, of course, I’m not actually dating anyone right now, or even boinking anyone with any regularity. Or even getting out often enough to hang with my own kind, and… rrrrRrrrrrRrRAAAARRRRRRrrRgGGGGHHhhhHHHHHhhh!!!!!!!!
So thanx. A. Lot.
[fume]
But “wise?�
Just for the record, sir, you are ruining one of the few episodes of The X-Files I still like.
What, you guys don’t have fish tacos east of, what, Sacramento?
Bah — I’ve had fish tacos in no less than Noo Yawk City, at some little place on Stanton St. whose name I can’t remember. They were great, too!
OK, Travis, I followed you until that last line.
I mean, a FISH taco?
Good lord, why ruin a perfectly good taco with fish? That’s like peeing in your bottled water before you drink it.
Myself, I usually wash down my fish tacos with a delicious bottle of diluted urine.
OK, well depends on what you dilute it with…
im feel alonbe and married for ten years
I’ve got an idea…why don’t we mind our own affairs? Why is it that American’s, one and all, regardless of the blinders of party affiliation, feel they are better suited to make other peoples (nations) choices? Washington is rolling over in his grave. You must realize, that even if we undeniably advance the welfare of foreign nations, they will not love us if we make their choices for them…if we extort and manipulate them into negotiations or concessions in order to retain our gifts of capital (borrowed from China)…but can they afford to pass on our “aid” when we provide their enemies with similarly ridiculous ‘aid’ packages. Are they so easily fooled? Can anyone be so blind.
Whatever happened to valuing the freedom of individuals and the sovereignty of nations?