The Only Good Injun Is . . . Etc. Etc.
Posted on October 11th, 2010 by Tintin
ABOVE: Moe Lane, PFC, Red State Trike Force
Shorter Moe Lane, Erick Erickson’s Civil War Reenactors Club
Happy Columbus Day!
- The killing off of Native Americans was a small price to pay so that I could still have most of my teeth at age forty!
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
Citoyens, aux Tweets!
Not surprisingly, the manly Moe shows his strength and mettle by blocking me on Twitter. As if I had plans to follow and DM him. As if.
Moe does realize that, um, the whole “smallpox blanket” thing has been disproven, right?
But if it was true, that would mean his ancestors…Lane been an Anglo name, were as genocidal as Hitler?
Oh Tintin? Linky dinky broekn.
[Tintin adds: Link fixed]
Interesting that Moe adopts the linguistic patterns of a famous film psychopath.
Interesting, is all….
Oh Tintin? Linky dinky broekn.
he’s just trying to protect you, actor, because you are UNABLE TO STAY IN THE DAMN BOAT.
alternate shorter:
“Thank God we didn’t let the Native Americans survive and trade for the resources that, being the white Europeans we are, are so rightly ours!”
Which pisses you off because you can’t swim.
*stayintheboatstayintheboatstayintheboatstayintheboat*
Next Lane tweet: “God save us from ‘Conquest of Paradise’ types; if we had left science up to them we’d still burn cats to try to stop the plague. Or Jews.”
Take that! Whatever that is.
Which pisses you off because you can’t swim.
hmpf. Myself, I wouldn’t touch your brain, until it’s been thoroughly tested for diseases and malnutrition.
Virgin Field Epidemic? Is that when Moe gets let loose in a whorehouse on the Red State credit card?
Burning cats to stop Jews? Is this a thing?
Myself, I wouldn’t touch your brain, until it’s been thoroughly tested for diseases and malnutrition.
I swear the Jakob-Kreutsfeld was cured.
Burning cats to stop Jews? Is this a thing?
If your name is Andrew Lloyd Webber…
Which pisses you off because you can’t swim.
But he can just walk on the bottom.
It’s worth noting that Moe’s post seems to be an attempt at a humor.
Watch out Tintin! There’s a new yuckster in town!
Still, speaking as somebody with most of his teeth at forty, no dietary deficiencies, and two kids that survived their first six months – which would not have happened if I had been born an illiterate turnip** farmer in Ireland, which is where I’d be if there hadn’t been an America for my ancestors to flee to – let me just say that I am not exactly broken up about the thought that In Fourteen Hundred and Ninety-Two / Columbus Sailed The Ocean Blue.
Shorter Moe: my Irish ancestors were so dumb, that no material progress would have been made in 500 years without the assistance of a Genoan who was wrong about the size of the Earth.
Goddammit. Got out of the boat.
“The killing off of Native Americans was a small price to pay so that I could still have most of my teeth at age forty!”
HE REALLY FUCKING SAID THIS.
I dunno, killing and enslaving the native population of Hispaniola seems pretty fucking bad, deliberate biological warfare or no. “Oh, but they didn’t mean to kill that many people.” What the hell kind of argument is that?
His commenters are dumber than Moe. This “billcabot” is great:
For example, Mr. Alfred Nobel (Nobel Peace Prize irony here) wherein billcabot thinks it ironic(!) that Alfred Nobel created a Peace Prize because, uh, ya know he invented safe-to handle nitroglycerin which killed like innumerable humans.
Hard to be dumber than Moe but…..
For example, Mr. Alfred Nobel (Nobel Peace Prize irony here) wherein billcabot thinks it ironic(!) that Alfred Nobel created a Peace Prize because, uh, ya know he invented safe-to handle nitroglycerin which killed like innumerable humans.
Fuck me, dude is lucky he doesn’t have to think to breathe.
Still, speaking as somebody with most of his teeth at forty, no dietary deficiencies, and two kids that survived their first six months – which would not have happened if I had been born an illiterate turnip** farmer in Ireland, which is where I’d be if there hadn’t been an America for my ancestors to flee to
So fluoridated water and mandatory dental checkups that we libs insisted be part of the education program…?
By the way, Moe “illiterate turnip farmer” would be a step up for you.
Holy fucking shit, can you believe morons like this are our neighbors and fellow citizens?
E pluribus unum starts to take on a different meaning noways, eh? Like, “From far too many psychotic and delusional right-wing douchebags AND apparently far too few enlightened, decent, humble, rational, and caring human beings, one.”
I need a drink, bitches.
Mr. Alfred Nobel (Nobel Peace Prize irony here)
BilltheCatbot can’t be arsed to go over to fricking Wikipedia and see that Nobel created the Prize because of guilt over what he had invented? This person is allowed to use the world without adult supervision?
I swear the Jakob-Kreutsfeld was cured.
Air-cured I hope, what with health concerns about nitrites and all that. Have you considered smoking or pickling?.
BTW, what the hell was the “Christopher Columbus” Moe was yelling all about?
He got some kinda Eurocentric Tourette’s?
Furthermore, the wikipedia article on smallpox clearly indicates that: on June 24, 1763, William Trent, a local trader, wrote, “Out of our regard for them [sc. representatives of the besieging Delawares], we gave them two Blankets and an Handkerchief out of the Small Pox Hospital. I hope it will have the desired effect.”
And even if that effort failed, the 500 year campaign of land stealing and forcible relocation, not to mention out and out slaughter, that is north american history, might have something to do with the relatively small number of Native Americans we see every day. Let’s face it, it was called the trail of tears, not the trail of giggles for a reason.
Teabaggers at the Fair.
I may have to go, even though I really can’t afford to.
Yes, yes, yes: we’re supposed to be subtly embarrassed of this holiday,
No we’re not. The Spanish, maybe, but we had nothing to do with it.
What we are supposed to be subtly embarassed about, at a minumum, is the Trail of Tears, Wounded Knee and everything that the United States did to the Indians. And by “subtle embarassed,” I mean “as repentant about it as the Germans are about that little glitch in 1933.”
OK, that last one? Kind of a fair point. Still
Central to my point… Shuddup, that’s why!
In my day, the illiterate turnip farmers were a step below the illiterate potato farmers which were one step below negro slaves. At least the slaves could sing Protestant hymns on Sundays. Whereas the potato farmers and turnip farmers would go to the potato & turnip market and trade their wares. The first potato farmer would say “I’ll trade six potatoes (a footsworth and a pinkie toe) for eight turnips (a footsworth and a roast beef toe)”. Moe Lane’s ancestor illiterate turnip farmer would reply “I’ll accept that trade, and now I’ll offer for trade those potatoes and a footsworth and stayed home toe turnips (nine) for a firkin of potato milk.” Needless to say, eventually the illiterate turnip farmer (Moe Lane’s ancestor) and his family starved to death as a result of this trading. It turns out he had four toes on one foot and six toes on the other foot.
Potato milk is hypoallergenic.
But just try telling that story to kids these days!
Tintin joining Twitter is the single greatest thing ever to happen to S,N!
As usual, the comments section tops the actual article.
And I tell those that claim they were first, that that is not relevant. It matters not who came to the Americas first, what matters is who told everyone else about the place.
Right. Let me settle in your house and then tell everybody about it.
Property rights = only for white people, I guess.
“Do you have a flag?”
Moe does realize that, um, the whole “smallpox blanket” thing has been disproven, right?
*Has* the “whole smallpox thing” been disproven?
It’s proven that American generals actively discussed deliberately inducing smallpox among Native Americans nearby;
http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/1088/did-whites-ever-give-native-americans-blankets-infected-with-smallpox
Given that, I think it’s actually somewhat likely that various honky American forefathers in private capacities traded infected blankets, to thin out the population on some of the land they wanted.
Yay! Discussing genocide on a joke blog! Wheeee!!!
BTW, what the hell was the “Christopher Columbus” Moe was yelling all about?
He seems to believe that the politically correct are allergic to mention of Columbus or something. Kind of an extension of “doesn’t this annoy you libbies?” argument we are so familiar with.
what matters is who told everyone else about the place.
Yay me!!
Yay! Discussing genocide on a joke blog! Wheeee!!!
It’s a joke blog about wingnuts, so genocide necessarily gets discussed a lot.
Also, POOP.
According to the documentary film series “The Sopranos”, the only people who care about Columbus Day are mobbed-up Italians.
I think this is sufficient evidence for the FBI to take Moe Lane in for questioning.
Dear Moe,
Some Irish people have advanced beyond the potato farmer stereotype. Those who aren’t violent drunks, of course.
I am NOT getting off this boat!
Why all this hate for Chris Columbus? I’m no great fan of the Harry Potter movies but genocide! Cmon guys.
Mo said: — “which would not have happened if I had been born an illiterate turnip** farmer in Ireland, which is where I’d be if there hadn’t been an America for my ancestors to flee to”
You’re still an illiterate turnip. That your ancestors moved and planted your stupid ass over here didn’t change a thing.
You mean millions of native Americans had to die, just so Moe could keep most of his teeth?
Shit, I’m 47 and I still have ALL of mine. That’s probably because, as big of a bitch as I can be, I’m still not as insufferable of an asshole as Moe is; hence, no one has felt compelled to knock any of mine out.
She’s a flat, like-a you head.
Well I rest easy knowing that everything done to the Native Americans, was first test run on the Irish by the English, but does Lane thank US for keeping his teeth? Noooo!
Just another example of keeping the Red Head down.
“The killing off of Native Americans was a small price to pay so that I could still have most of my teeth at age forty!”
The fact that he still has teeth at forty plus means he doesn’t circulate his observations outside the Internet much.
Here is the page on wikipedia on Henry Bouquet
So it seems difficult to be absolutely sure and an outbreak among are Natives at the time could have been because of other factors.
POOP for Cristobal Colon!
Smallpox is unlike bedbugs which are intentionally brought by foreigners to infest our pristine hotels.
Moe does realize that, um, the whole “smallpox blanket” thing has been disproven, right?
Yep, since nobody asked for authorization in writing from the military or government it obviously never happened.
He’s right that infectious diseases killed more Native Americans than were actually starved and massacred by whites. I’m not sure why he thinks that constitutes some sort of defense of starvation and massacres.
Why all this hate for Chris Columbus?
Turning decent books into generic Hollywood kids’ movie swill is much, much worse than Hitler. Chris Columbus is the Leni Riefenstahl of
liberal fascismboring capitalism.Even shorter Moe:
I am Proud to be a bloodsucking worm! Wanna see my teeth?
Just for Moe: during the Irish famine, Ireland was a net exporter of food. The government, being English, allowed the Irish poor to starve while they ate quite well on Irish food.
This being the opposite of government actions here in the land C. Colombus found and told everybody about. Which explains nothing but that Moe doesn’t know what he’s talking about.
No surprise there.
Moe would have been on the streets of Denver cheering on Chivington’s Colorado regiment when they paraded after Sand Creek with their hatbands and tobacco pouches made from the Cheyenne’s private parts.
C’mon up to the rez, Moe, and spout this crap – you’ll need that dentist.
Bitter Scribe said: He’s right that infectious diseases killed more Native Americans than were actually starved and massacred by whites. I’m not sure why he thinks that constitutes some sort of defense of starvation and massacres.
It’s the kindergarten excuse: “But Billy broke more crayons than I did!”
It wasn’t equal, but in return, Native Americans gave Europeans syphillis.
Everyone keeps telling me fast food is bad. If fast food is so unhealthy then why was McDonald’s the sponsor of the Olympics???
Meteors, motherfuckers. COME ON ALREADY.
It wasn’t equal, but in return, Native Americans gave Europeans syphillis.
The process of getting syph might be enjoyable. Smallpox, not so much.
Everyone keeps telling me fast food is bad. If fast food is so unhealthy then why was McDonald’s the sponsor of the Olympics???
Because the overweening and corrosive power we’ve allowed faceless corporate conglomerates to exert over virtually every aspect of our lives forces pretty much all of us into one form of hypocrisy or another?
I dunno – just guessing.
The process of getting syph might be enjoyable. Smallpox, not so much.
I guess it depends on what you use those blankets for…
overweening and corrosive
Great name for a barbecue sauce.
Had India or China discovered the Americas, perhaps it could have shared its knowledge of variolation, a basic immunization against smallpox, but Europeans, being anti-scientific, backwards, and generally barbaric, didn’t grasp the practice until the 1700s.
Native Americans gave Europeans syphillis.
Anthrax is “New” World too, innit?
And who the fuck thinks the Olympics have anything to do w/ “health?” Fucking maroons, how do they work?
Holy fuck! Moe Lane is Buffalo Bill?
“It wasn’t equal, but in return, Native Americans gave Europeans syphillis.”
And syphillis incapacitated Hitler’s decision-making capabilities! We had to invade the Americas to hurt Hitler!
I’m pretty sure anthrax (the germ) is Old World. Biblical plagues and all.
The government, being English, allowed the Irish poor to starve while they ate quite well on Irish food.
Come, be fair. They were very sad about it but it would have been wrong to interfere in the operations of the Market.
It wasn’t equal, but in return, Native Americans gave Europeans syphillis.
Don’t forget High Fructose Corn syrup!
“Native Americans gave Europeans syphillis.”
They gave us tobacco so it all evened out in the end.
Also,
Americans invented germ warfare! U.S.A!! woot! woot!
My people call it maize.
Don’t forget High Fructose Corn syrup!
A-maize-ing
Fuckin’ El Cid.
How does he work?
“How does he work?”
What? Fuckin’ El Cid or high fructose corn syrup?
What? Fuckin’ El Cid or high fructose corn syrup?
Fuckin’ El Cid.
“Yes, yes, yes: we’re supposed to be subtly embarrassed of this holiday, given that apparently it’s an act of global insensitivity to remember the date, or because there’s a whole subset of the grievance culture out there who grind their teeth, turn widdershins thrice, and spit at the very mention of the name ‘Christopher Columbus,*’ or even because it’s starting to look like everybody in the world ‘discovered’ America before Christopher Columbus did.
(pause)
OK, that last one? Kind of a fair point.”
I like that he concedes the technicality while dismissing the reduction in numbers of the native population by a factor of 10.
I don’t know but DKW’s mom says it involves high fructose corn syrup for some reason.
it’s starting to look like everybody in the world ‘discovered’ America before Christopher Columbus did.
But but, did they have flags?
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20101011/ap_on_bi_ge/us_social_security_no_cola
This comment made me laugh;
… yes…
it’s starting to look like everybody in the world ‘discovered’ America before Christopher Columbus did.
Funny how the Chinese and Vikings (Vikings for crying out loud) managed to discover America without exterminating its entire population. As opposed to the modern, civilized and enlightened Europeans of the 1400s.
Yep, if they didn’t bring flags they can’t claim salvage rights!
Yep, if they didn’t bring flags they can’t claim salvage rights!
But, but, but, the Palestinians and Iraqis had flags…
… what happened?
On behalf of my son and grandsons, as well as the native peoples I have worked with for the past 35 years, may I say Hoktarekas ofa cecepo fampe, este hatke haco fampe! [Fuck you in your stinking ass, stinking crazy white man].
The fact that he still has teeth at forty plus means he doesn’t circulate his observations outside the Internet much.
I strongly urge him to explain this to an audience of the over 350 federally recognized Indian groups in this country. I will even spot him thirty seconds to get out of the door.
Next Lane tweet: “God save us from ‘Conquest of Paradise’ types; if we had left science up to them we’d still burn cats to try to stop the plague. Or Jews.”
Is that for real? And good God, is he really forty?
during the Irish famine, Ireland was a net exporter of food. The government, being English, allowed the Irish poor to starve while they ate quite well on Irish food.
And I believe a common rationale was that the market would fix everything.
The English learned their colonial conquering techniques on Ireland first. It was the model for their conquest of much of the rest of the world.
One of the reasons potatoes were such a staple of Irish food was that when the English would burn down their crops, potatoes would still be in the ground and edible.
And the only way Europe rediscovered science as having been continued since ancient ‘Greece’ (i.e., the entire Mediterranean of that period) was the encountering of Islamic scholarship. I.e., the maps they used, the medicinal manuals, and so forth.
I strongly urge him to explain this to an audience of the over 350 federally recognized Indian groups in this country. I will even spot him thirty seconds to get out of the door.
Interest, website, newsletter, etc etc…
Another OT;
I’m going back through the DCist blog (www.dcist.com) for the “Overheard in D.C.” page that comes every week. From the August 27th page;
BURN and LOL
The English learned their colonial conquering techniques on Ireland first. It was the model for their conquest of much of the rest of the world.
William Christie McLeod had a long discussion of the origins of the reservation system in Ireland in his book, The American Indian Frontier, published in 1928.
And I believe a common rationale was that the market would fix everything.
The English learned their colonial conquering techniques on Ireland first. It was the model for their conquest of much of the rest of the world.
The similarity did not go un-noticed at the time:
In 1847, midway through the Great Irish Famine (1845–1849), a group of American Indian Choctaws collected $710 … and sent it to help starving Irish men, women and children. “It had been just 16 years since the Choctaw people had experienced the Trail of Tears, and they had faced starvation…”
Oh wow.
Beautiful gesture, especially considering how much crap the Choctaws must’ve had on their plate at the time.
Americans didn’t kill any Indians.
That is some powerful, industrial-grade willful ignorance of history. That is stupidity so stupid Jonah Goldberg would be entitled to point at Moe and say “Jesus Christ what a stupid fucking moron.”
Just think, it could have been their gift that kept Moe Lane’s ancestor alive, allowing the family tree to continue, and send a fresh scion to America, and eventually enabling Moe Lane to express his gratitude.
Shorter: I got mine, so fuck the red men!
Most charming comment over at Red
NeckState…In 1847, midway through the Great Irish Famine (1845–1849), a group of American Indian Choctaws collected $710 … and sent it to help starving Irish men, women and children. “It had been just 16 years since the Choctaw people had experienced the Trail of Tears, and they had faced starvation…
Several of the “Five civilized Tribes,” who had been forceably relocated to Indian Territory in the 1830s, sent food relief (very large quantities) to Ireland.
And I’ll be celebrating Columbus Day by going to the nearest Indian gaming palace, shaking one of the natives out of his drunken stupor and handing them a $20.
Ahem. Imma go punch something. BRB.
Also, there seems to be quite a bit of evidence that syph was already in Europe before Columbus and his randy rascals came back from the new world.
Crap. Was it just the syph that the Americas gave the world? Thought there was at least one other disease.
Nope, not even pure syphilis.
So, Mr Tintin, are you a native?
How sad! Terminal fail yet again mars an otherwise immaculate wingnut flounce.
Confederate Yanqui must be giving tutorials.
Also, there seems to be quite a bit of evidence that syph was already in Europe before Columbus and his randy rascals came back from the new world.
That is still a very controversial assertion. It is quite clear that the treponema bacterium was in the Americas long before the arrival of the Europeans. In contrast there are a handful of possible cases in Europe prior to Columbus’s voyage.
‘virgin field epidemic’
That is virgin soil epidemic, you fucktard. If you do not even know the terminology, you obviously have no fucking clue what you are talking about.
certainly one or more of the treponematoses (a category including syphilis)
Also pinto, and yaws.
What’s ‘yaws’?
What’s ‘yaws’?
The most terrifying of the pitch, roll, yaw trilogy of horror.
Wrong answer and I will not be offering N__B any drinks again.
What’s ‘yaws’?
IPA, thankee.
Mine, all mine!!
Wrong answer and I will not be offering N__B any drinks again.
Hey, Mrs. __B is the biolomagist. I’m just an engineer.
What’s yaws?
Yaws is a tropical skin disease, as is pinta. Now aren’t you sorry you asked?
And I’ll be celebrating Columbus Day by going to the nearest Indian gaming palace, shaking one of the natives out of his drunken stupor and handing them a $20.
There seems to be evidence syph is rampant in the Red State Trike Force.
I celebrated by HATING AMERICA! We also made pizza.
Totally not by coincidence, there’s a new, great BBC documentary (you know, the people who make documentaries with an intelligent narrator without drowning you in loud background music and scene cuts every 1/3rd second) on “America Before Columbus”. Check your local neighborhood torrent feeds.
documentaries with an intelligent narrator without drowning you in loud background music and scene cuts every 1/3rd second
How dare they.
Socialists.
Burning cats to stop Jews?
Wait, that works?
I dunno, pitch scares me more than yaw.
Hey, are the Canuckistanis trying to horn in on OUR sacred day by having their (early) Harvest Fest on the very same day? Inquiring minds must speculate responsibly.
Burning cats to stop Jews?
Wait, that works?
Stops Jewish cats right enough.
I celebrated by HATING AMERICA!
Oh, come on! Every day is Hate America Day!
Our Thanksgiving is better BECAUSE we’re not American.
Browning Kates to stop Juses?
Every day is Hate America Day!
Well, sorta. We do hate America every day, but we don’t call the days that during the War on Christmas season.
Depends on the situation. If you’re in an aircraft, you can counteract too much pitch or roll more easily than too much yaw. Excessive yaw will put you in what’s called a flat spin. Better have an ejector seat if that happens.
If anyone discussing pitch and yaw sees a live performance of the F-22, get ready for some impossible, UFO looking shit. It’s absolutely bizarre, looks alien, and seems to defy what we know of airplanes.
It’s the magnets.
I live in New Hampshire where a whole bucketload of the commoners do not possess teeth, thanks to nearly one hundred years of total domination of the local government and any discourse, by the mill owners that proliferated the state and practically enslaved culturally docile Quebecan refugees. I’d leave this damned state if it hadn’t sucked every dollar and nearly every bit of energy I have long ago with its damn the public, enrich the rich policies.
As for the Irish, I also take high offense to the “illiterate turnip farmer” statement. Colonialism had nothing that saved your ass you moron.
My ancestors, my mother’s side from County Kerry who emigrated here during the potato famine, starving and desperate. My father’s side from County Cork, in the 1700’s, with at least enough money to setup what became a large plantation that enslaved Africans.
My people were oppressed and they also oppressed. Of not much surprise to me, the side that cam earlier and built up a plantation takes no pride in that fact and prefers to not refer to it although it is generally known among all.
At the same time, they take great pride in what they see as great ingenuity and determination to survive. There are even stories that circulate of Sherman’s army burning down the plantation and the family trekking on foot and mule to Arkansas.
We pulled ourselves out of poverty Moe, I don’t know about your people but I do know that the legacy of oppression creeps through the line of the family like a disease to this very day and leaves stragglers in its wake still.
So again, fuck you Moe you moronic, middling, trifling illiterate bore. There is nothing you know about history or oppression except for the fact that the oppressors of today are doing a fine job and you are a fine specimen thereof.
Stops Jewish cats right enough.
You’re not gonna start a kitty circumcision argument now, are you?
Americans didn’t kill any Indians.
That sentence is so incredibly stupid, that I can’t see why, or even HOW, someone who was gifted with the power of speech could arrange his mind in such a way to make his mouth form those sounds.
kate said,
October 12, 2010 at 4:46 (kill)
Good one. Golf claps all around. I would say it will leave a mark, but with Moe Lane, who could tell?
Actor, get this commenter a martini.
Kiss me, Kate!
Anytime El Cid.
Thanks, zombie.
I’ll have a Johnnie red on the rocks.
Better yet actor, just forget the rocks and bring me the bottle. I got to wipe the stupid that is Moe out of my mind.
Property rights = only for white people, I guess.
I have seen people (for internet-libertarian values of “people”) make the claim that since Native Americans didn’t have the concept of private property (at least as it pertains to real estate), they didn’t have property rights, so it was OK to kill them and take their stuff. Of course, as a justification for genocide, it doesn’t hold a candle to:
Americans didn’t kill any Indians.
which is…holy shit levels of crazy. (I don’t suppose it’s possible the guy was making some bullshit pedantic comment about how the indigenous inhabitants of North America are not related to the people who live in India? No, I didn’t really think so.)
Our Thanksgiving is better BECAUSE we’re not American.
Also, if we waited until late November, there’d be nothing to eat but dried root vegetables. Do you have any idea how frickin’ COLD it is by November 20? You people are celebrating your precious “harvest”, and we’re up here hoping the fucking dragon will relent and vomit the sun back up again this year.
BTW, Happy Thanksgiving!
Yes Canadian I know how it is up north, at least as far as I’ll ever be interested in living. In Bangor Maine the main winter crop among many of the commoners is food stamps.
Ugh, I hate that argument. Owning land in fee simple is not the only way to conceive of property control or rights. In the part of the U.S. where I live (the Pacific Northwest), native peoples definitely held notions of what “belonged” to particular bands or families with respect to, for example, fishing areas. If I wanted to fish in a place where another family usually did, I couldn’t just walk up and do it; I would have had to get permission to do so.
I realize that that’s beside the point, but the notion that no native peoples anywhere had any concept of property (besides chattel) is just not true. The argument is wrong on its face.
<i.I have seen people (for internet-libertarian values of “people”) make the claim that since Native Americans didn’t have the concept of private property (at least as it pertains to real estate), they didn’t have property rights, so it was OK to kill them and take their stuff.
I have never seen that argument before. Wow.
By the same logic, if a culture doesn’t believe in marriage it’s okay to rape them.
I have never seen that argument before.
It would make it pretty bonus if I could locate a culture that didn’t believe in brains.
Although now that I see it spelled out that way, the Teabaggers come pretty damn close.
a culture that didn’t believe in brains
You’re soaking in it.
OH MY GOD HERE COMES AN S
Schadenfreude involving Alex Knepper.
Son of Irksome, & NewsRealBlog, which is NSFW, WORKERS OF THE WORLD! Because they have a screencap of two naked boys (Faces blacked out, waist up) hugging, & it’s so awful & heinous they ran it twice so you get the message how awful & … (Imagine all of that in caps.)
That should have a pedo bear warning sign on it MB.
Tried to make it clear.
It’s David Frum they’re going after in that… whatever that was. He broke ranks so they’ll destroy him. I can’t exactly remember what his crime was but it must have been something horrible like disagreeing with Limbaugh or criticizing another conservative or something.
Frum no longer from AEI
~
Shorter ”God save us from…” comment: people who oppose genocide support genocide.
I have seen people (for internet-libertarian values of “people”) make the claim that since Native Americans didn’t have the concept of private property (at least as it pertains to real estate), they didn’t have property rights, so it was OK to kill them and take their stuff.
Right. And the no tribe ever fought a war with another over territory or buffalo or women….
Stops Jewish cats right enough.
You can tell them by the ringlets around the ears. They’re called “American Curls”.
Yet another OT in the category of “conservatives seeking approval from the culture they hate;” PJM tries to make the claim that the teabaggers are the heirs to the hippies.
http://pajamasmedia.com/zombie/2010/10/11/the-electric-tea-party-acid-test/
Oddly enough, in a lot of ways, I agree with them. It’s not hard to see how the people squealing “but I don’t want to fight for my country” and “but I don’t want big gubmint telling me I can’t smoke pot” in 1970 would turn into the people squealing “but I don’t want to pay my taxes” in 1980.
Lurking Canadian said,
October 12, 2010 at 5:03
I can top the “Americans didn’t kill and Indians” argument. Really I can.
Tom Clancy, during an interview some time in the early nineties, started pontificating about America and its role in the world. The question started out by asking what he thought about America’s ability to compete with Europe and Japan. With regards to Japan, he throws out,
Pot, meet kettle – cause in the very next sentence;
So, not only did America never kill any Indians, but there may very well never have been any Indians to kill in the first place.
But look, two hundred years ago, America was a strip of dirt that didn’t extend as far west as Ohio. That belonged to the Indians. Assuming there were any Indians back then
So, not only did America never kill any Indians, but there may very well never have been any Indians to kill in the first place.
“A land without people for a people without land.” No wait, that’s someone else’s excuse for imperialism and racism…
So, if it was all okay for Europeans to kill Native Americans and take their stuff, why again was it so wrong when the Muslim caliphates took much of Europe and then the Ottoman Empire threatened to take much of it as well?
I’m waiting for the aliens to land and declare that there are no people on Earth so it’s their’s for the taking.
Don’t be silly El Cid, Mooslims aren’t people.
I’m waiting for the aliens to land and declare that there are no
peopleintelligent beings on Earth so it’s their’s for the taking.Fiqqst to make a strikingly realistic scenario.
So, if it was all okay for Europeans to kill Native Americans and take their stuff, why again was it so wrong when the Muslim caliphates took much of Europe and then the Ottoman Empire threatened to take much of it as well?
Because Muslims aren’t civilized people. Europeans are. The rest is detail.
That was Ayn Rand’s explanation for why you should support even socialist religious Israel against the Arab hordes. For most of her worshippers, it’s exactly that simple.
N__B said,
October 12, 2010 at 14:35
*recalls Calvin and Hobbes strip in which aliens suck up all the Earth’s oceans and say on loudspeaker “we find your extinction preferable to the loss of our job.”
Calvin: “You think my story for class tomorrow’s too far fetched?”
Hobbes: “Not enough, really.”
I’m waiting for the aliens to land and declare that there are no intelligent beings on Earth so it’s theirs for the taking.
They land in the middle of a Teabagger rally and we’re fucked.
Or if they land outside the National Review offices.
It was beauty killed the beast. It was bacteria killed the Martians. Oh, damn, should have said SPOILER!
Oddly enough, in a lot of ways, I agree with them.
Many neo-cons were, in fact, dirty leftist hippie types and allies.
So it’s no surprise to me that they are trying to justify their betrayal of leftist dogma.
I’m waiting for the aliens to land and declare that there are no intelligent beings on Earth so it’s their’s for the taking.
Fiqqst to make a strikingly realistic scenario.
Dolphins? Whales? HULLO???????
Obviously, Moe Lang wanked to John Wayne movies as a kid. He probably got off on the hairless waxed pectorals of the Injuns.
So it’s no surprise to me that they are trying to justify their betrayal of leftist dogma.
Funny, reading their comments on that is often like being in a confessional,
“I was young… I was stupid… I hated America… then I discovered conservatism, and I became a patriot which made me sexy and successful!!!”
Etc.
I was young… I was stupid… I hated America…
The appropriate conclusion to that statement can only read “and then I realized Ayn Rand was a douchenozzle”.
The question started out by asking what he thought about America’s ability to compete with Europe and Japan.
Yeah, cuz the first person I think to ask about that kind of issue is Tom Clancy.
Um … I apologize for not having time to read the whole thread, so has anyone yet mentioned that, ya know, Christopher Columbus didn’t actually, ya know, “discover” America?!
The Native Americans kinda discovered a few thousand years earlier.
And then Lief Erikson managed to sail to the ironically-named Greenland.
Columbus, on the other hand, managed to get to the modern-day Caribbean.
This dude, Amerigo Vespucci, actually sailed into the east coast of the present-day United States of
The Clinically Retarded, and No, I’m Not Making Fun of TrigAmerica.Which is why it’s called “America” and not “Columbusia” … or maybe “Christopherland.” Or something similar.
This has been Basic History Everyone Should Know But We’ve Decided Being Stupid Is A Virtue 101.
And yes, this will be on the test.
Yeah, cuz the first person I think to ask about that kind of issue is Tom Clancy.
Oddly enough, there was a while when the media treated the man incredibly seriously, like some kind of international relations expert. Something about his books being “really realistic” or whatnot.
Which, if you know even the slightest thing about international relations, is pretty hysterical.
They certainly weren’t leftist hippie types. They’re mostly the children of an earlier generation of ex-leftist turned raving anti-Communists.
They were all part of various authoritarian leftist movements, such as the bruter versions of Trotskyism (Irving Kristol, Norman Podhoretz, even Christopher Hitchens) and and Black Panthers (in David Horowitz’ case).
The positions of the original Trotskyite authoritarians have now been largely taken over by their children in tribute of individualist values such as making it on your own.
The Native Americans kinda discovered a few thousand years earlier.
I love how that’s the part that gets LEAST mentioned out of all of them. Quite a few people stand up in righteous indignation on behalf of the Vikings and the Chinese – no one will ever mention that, y’know, the people who actually live there might have had to “discover” it at some point as well.
It’s certainly more correct to say that Columbus’ arrival in the Americas and his ravenous exploitation of the natives’ wealth is what introduced the Caribbean America to Western Europe.
Which, if you know even the slightest thing about international relations, is pretty hysterical.
Well, Jesus, I about tore my hair out during the 2008 election when they were proclaiming that John McCain could totes beat Obama in a debate about foreign policy. I think if you’re a hawkish asshole who can find Iran on a map, then you’re a foreign policy and military genius.
Funny enough, there are those native Americans who argue that native Americans never discovered the Americas, but evolved here separately. For some lunatic reason these types see it as insulting that they could have reached here via land bridges and coastal boating from the Asian mainland. The asshole fake-native Ward Churchill subscribed to this view, but it was just another way for him to ingratiate himself into the native American community which got him ahead in life.
El Cid said,
October 12, 2010 at 15:30
Well, you’re talking about neocons, e.g. the Kissenger type intellectuals.
I’m talking about regular voters, e.g. the baby boomer middle class suburbanites whose “rebellion against authority” thing, in many cases, eventually led them to become Reagan Revolutionaries.
Quite a few people stand up in righteous indignation on behalf of the Vikings and the Chinese – no one will ever mention that, y’know, the people who actually live there might have had to “discover” it at some point as well.
Well, they’d been living there fifty thousand years already, so eevn they may have forgotten they found the place.
Well, Jesus, I about tore my hair out during the 2008 election when they were proclaiming that John McCain could totes beat Obama in a debate about foreign policy.
I was amused that both of them agreed that the Iranian Revolutionary Guard Corps was a terrorist organization, but neither of them actually knew its name (calling it the “Republican Guard” instead).
“Obviously, Moe Lang wanked to John Wayne movies as a kid. He probably got off on the hairless waxed pectorals of the Injuns.”
That weren’t no Injun. That was Ricardo Montalban!
That weren’t no Injun. That was Ricardo Montalban!
Even more reason for Moe to wank! It was a real American!
Oddly enough, in a lot of ways, I agree with them. It’s not hard to see how the people squealing “but I don’t want to fight for my country” and “but I don’t want big gubmint telling me I can’t smoke pot” in 1970 would turn into the people squealing “but I don’t want to pay my taxes” in 1980.
The fact is you are right that the people who did not want to go kill treacherous commies for freedom in Vietnam were a bunch of squealing, cowardly drug addicts. It is just that simple. But the other fact is no, you are wrong that they turned into anti-tax patriots. They are still America haters who opposed bringing USA freedom to Iraq and whose children didn’t enlist in the war to fight for their country but instead went down to recruiting offices to stand outside and squeal and smoke pot like pigs.
I was amused that both of them agreed that the Iranian Revolutionary Guard Corps was a terrorist organization, but neither of them actually knew its name (calling it the “Republican Guard” instead).
God forbid they actually know anything about a country they’re discussing bombing the shit out of.
They are still America haters who opposed bringing USA freedom to Iraq and whose children didn’t enlist in the war to fight for their country but instead went down to recruiting offices to stand outside and squeal and smoke pot like pigs.
That’s no way to talk about Jonah Goldberg!
God forbid they actually know anything about a country they’re discussing bombing the shit out of.
If you’re planning on vaporizing it, why bother knowing? It’s just a waste of their most limited resource: brain cells.
Wow, that’s almost real Garyish.
squeal and smoke pot like pigs.
Pigs smoke pot?
Pigs smoke pot?
Doctor and lawyer too.
God forbid they actually know anything
about a country they’re discussing bombing the shit out of.Fixtified for truthiness
squeal and smoke pot like pigs.
Sounds to me like Gary has something against pigs. You know what they say about people who hate pigs, right? Does Gary pray to Mecca?
“Did Doogie Howser just steal my fucking car?”
Pigs smoke pot?
Doctor and lawyer too.
Pigs smoke doctor and lawyer?
I’m confused now.
We’re smoking cats in pots for the Juses so the aliens don’t land on Moe Lane and steal our resources?
I know you will be shocked!, shocked!, but that PJM writer is full of shit. He pretends that today’s teabaggers are railing against authority, when, in fact, they worship the authority of Corporate America. Thank you, Chris, for reading PJM so I don’t have to.
Pigs smoke doctor and lawyer?
I’m surprised you didn’t know that. One of the reasons my uncle stopped raising pigs on his farm was the constant stench of burning lawyer.
We’re smoking cats in pots for the Juses so the aliens don’t land on Moe Lane and steal our resources?
Yes. This edition of SASQ has been brought to you by S, N!
They are still America haters who opposed bringing USA freedom to Iraq and whose children didn’t enlist in the war to fight for their country
Slander and calomny!
Pigs smoke pot?
Shut up, shut up, I love this song.
I call shenanigans:
Theologian: Practicing yoga is anti-Christian
Video: Blog says Christians are not called to empty the mind.
Slander and calomny!
Calomny lotion is good if you have mosquito bites.
Slander and calomny!
Calomny lotion is good if you have mosquito bites.
Especially if you slander it on liberally.
We’re smoking cats in pots for the Juses so the aliens don’t land on Moe Lane and steal our resources?
You forgot Moe’s teeth and the Injuns, but you got the gist of it.
Or even møøse bites.
Mind you, møøse bites can be pretty nastï.
One of the reasons my uncle stopped raising pigs on his farm was the constant stench of burning lawyer.
See, this is why I always recommend burning a few witches while you’re at it. The smoke counteracts some of the lawyerly pollution.
Or even møøse bites.
Mind you, møøse bites can be pretty nastï.
A møøse vunce byt my slander!
Wow, that’s almost real Garyish.
except for the italics
Wow, that’s almost real Garyish.
except for the italics
Yea. We’re talking about Injuns, not Yurpeans.
He pretends that today’s teabaggers are railing against authority, when, in fact, they worship the authority of Corporate America.
not to mention their worship of Daddy Figure Republicans in power. As soon as the R’s take one or both houses of Congress, expect the Tea parties to Rascal their way back into obscurity.
As soon as the R’s take one or both houses of Congress, expect the Tea parties to Rascal their way back into obscurity.
I don’t know. Maybe. Much depends on how important the Republican power structure makes the elected Bags feel. Remember, a lot of the anger has been directed at Republicans they consider RINOs. That might not change once power is recouped.
Republicans often see themselves as daring rebels for taking the side of the ultra-rich and powerful. Funny, that.
Republicans often see themselves as daring rebels for taking the side of the ultra-rich and powerful. Funny, that.
Considering that history shows eventually the poor rise up and start decapitations….
Much depends on how important the Republican power structure makes the elected Bags feel.
Much more depends on how effective the Republicans are at addressing our problems.
Meaning that if the economy remains bad or goes from bad to worse, you can expect the teabaggers to become even more extreme and call for the expulsion of all the Republicans in office because they weren’t extreme enough and all their socialism’s dragging the economy down…
Considering that history shows eventually the poor rise up and start decapitations….
The poor are too busy getting by until the riots start. It’s the slightly less rich that start revolutions. The poor do all of the heavy lifting of course. But most of the preparations prior to and reprisals after the completion of revolution com from the bourgeois.
The above Saxby Chambliss was me.
And FYWP, I am not posting too fast.
The Newt Gingrich right wing crazies who took over in 1994 held the House for a dozen years. I’m not sure TeaTard brigades would lose it so quickly, at least, until the country just fell apart and we began being ruled in 1970s South American junta style.
The economy’s still not getting any better and they’re not gonna fix it. Not that serious efforts are being made in the first place…
Christopher Columbus was a damn blasted liar.
The Newt Gingrich right wing crazies who took over in 1994 held the House for a dozen years.
Here’s the kicker: they weren’t that right wing, when you come right down to it. Hell, plenty of Democrats switched parties back then, which you are not seeing with the Teabagger uprising.
Gingrich was not a complete fool. He knew he’d need to co-opt the more rebellious, which is why the GOP congresses were all very demanding party loyalty.
That might not change once power is recouped.
I would take that bet, I think.
You overlook that once the R’s have their seats back, the Kock brothers will stop funding the Tea Party, and the Fox News will stop giving them airtime out of all proportion to their actual numbers, and if Boehner threatens to take away the Medicaid-financed War-Rascals, the wind will go out of the movement so fast it will blow Moe Lane’s bloomers up his crack.
The economy’s still not getting any better and they’re not gonna fix it
Sure, but once Fox and Rush and Beck and Drudge start making this the new status quo, and go back to “Woo-hoo Numbah One!!”-ing, it all gets shoved down the memory hole. All those unemployed, dying and poor are because IT’S THEIR OWN DAMN FAULT SHUT UP THAT’S WHY.
America: 49th in life expectancy because the FREE MARKET WORKS BEST.
The economy’s still not getting any better and they’re not gonna fix it. Not that serious efforts are being made in the first place…
They don’t have to fix it. Just drive it into the ground until everybody’s fucked.
They don’t have to fix it. Just drive it into the ground until everybody’s fucked.
A large fraction of the tea party is older Americans who are doing fine and see no need to change anything* because they plan on dying or getting raptured before the bill comes due.
*to the point strip mining the crap out of the environment, outsourcing any job not nailed down, privatization of every public service, and basically selling or ruining everything they personally don’t need.
Even if the GOP takes over one chamber, they’ll still have a Socialist for a President and a crappy economy and Mooslonazis and all that fun stuff. I’m a think the Teabaggers ain’t going anywhere soon.
After all, the Murrah Building didn’t get destroyed until after the 1994 midterms.
It may make the Teabaggers less visible, but more militant.
They don’t have to fix it. Just drive it into the ground until everybody’s fucked.
I picture W. and Grover N. arching their eyebrows while saying “Our work here is done.”
Oddly enough, there was a while when the media treated [Tom Clancy] incredibly seriously, like some kind of international relations expert.
I never thought he was any kind of expert, but he did play a role in my internal model of the world, in which he was like the Platonic ideal of an American conservative. If I wanted to understand what foreign policy the American Right would want, I would ask myself, “What would Tom Clancy say?”, and I’d generally get it right.
What has astonished me lately is that the American Right has moved so far that Clancy (at least turn-of-the-century Clancy) would be kicked out as a RINO. He was always careful to distinguish between terrorists and Muslims, which would be enough to put him on the ice floe with Frum these days.
Even if the GOP takes over one chamber, they’ll still have a Socialist for a President and a crappy economy and Mooslonazis and all that fun stuff. I’m a think the Teabaggers ain’t going anywhere soon.
Yup. They’ll always find someone else to blame.
They’ll always find someone else to blame.
There is an element of this nation that has to scapegoat someone.
80 years ago, it was the Irish and Italians. 70 years ago, it was the Germans. 60, the Japanese. 50, the Koreans and the Commies. 40, the Soviets and the blacks. 30, women and the Chinese. 20, the Japanese (again!) and the poor.
Oh, and always, ALWAYS, the liberals. So you mean to tell me that, for 80 years, the nation’s been going to hell in a handbasket?
Meaning that if the economy remains bad or goes from bad to worse, you can expect the teabaggers to become even more extreme and call for the expulsion of all the Republicans in office because they weren’t extreme enough and all their socialism’s dragging the economy down…
That will never happen. The teabaggers are Republicans. They might want the Republicans they elect to be even more extreme than they are but even with the most backward ass views imaginable they’re never going to blame Republicans for the country’s woes when there are so many attractive scapegoats out there. These are people who blame the global financial crisis not on banks and lack of governmental oversight but on laws that made it somewhat easier for black people to get mortgages. They’re never going to hold Republicans accountable as long as there’s a single elected Democrat holding office anywhere in the country. If we got down to one school board member in Vermont that son of a bitch would be all the wingnut pundits ever talked about and his face would appear on signs at teabagger rallies everywhere.
If somehow the Republicans were able to take the Presidency again (unlikely, but this is a lunatic nation) then, that’s it. A Republican House would destroy any chance of sane legislation, as they will not vote for anything which isn’t TeaTard / tax cuts & deregulation for the rich crazy. With no chance to do anything to improve the situation, it’s no longer impossible that our freak-faddish voters to decide to try a Republican President again, because it would be a change.
And then, that’s it. All she wrote. The country would go off the cliff and entirely plummet down to the bottom of the canyon and it will be very much like a 1970’s South American junta in governing makeup and 1980s style South American collapsed economies with the impoverishment of the vast majority on a scale we haven’t yet begun to see here.
And there will be no populist leftist / labor movement to oppose it, the only opposition would be even more fascist right wing militia populism.
And then, that’s it. All she wrote. The country would go off the cliff and entirely plummet down to the bottom of the canyon and it will be very much like a 1970?s South American junta in governing makeup and 1980s style South American collapsed economies with the impoverishment of the vast majority on a scale we haven’t yet begun to see here.
Goddammit, you people are supposed to make me laugh, not confirm my worst fears.
I know I have been out of pocket for awhile, and I am still too fucking lazy to look back through the S,N! archives, but was there any delicious snark here about the Villagers poo-pooing the Obama/Axelrod assertion that our elections have been sold out to foreigners through the Chamber of Commerce? I noted Villager, First Class Tapper, Village Elder Schieffer, Up and Coming Villager Todd, among others, scoffing at the idea that our Democracy has been sold to the highest bidder.
WASF*
*We Are So Fucked
80 years ago, it was the Irish and Italians. 70 years ago, it was the Germans. 60, the Japanese. 50, the Koreans and the Commies. 40, the Soviets and the blacks. 30, women and the Chinese. 20, the Japanese (again!) and the poor.
Oh, and always, ALWAYS, the liberals.
So what are we, chopped liver? We’re “celebrating” centuries of being teh other. Criminy, what do we have to do to get some recognition?
was there any delicious snark here about the Villagers poo-pooing the Obama/Axelrod assertion that our elections have been sold out to foreigners through the Chamber of Commerce?
No.
But…
Criminy, what do we have to do to get some recognition?
It’s not what you know, it’s who you blow.
YOO ESS ASY! YOO ESS AY!
So we rank first in healthcare spending but way down the list somewhere in outcomes. Heard on NPR this antimatter that we rank somewhere in the low to high 20s in math and science education. We spend more on “national security” than the rest of the world combined yet, well, you know. Solutions: (1) do nothing about it. (2) Spend less by eliminating the Dept. of Education and also teach creationism as science. (3) Keep spending more more more.
What’s wrong in this picture?
What’s wrong in this picture?
Ummmmm………Hitler?
So you mean to tell me that, for 80 years, the nation’s been going to hell in a handbasket?
Shut up, it’s a heavy handbasket, and we gotta make a lot of stops for snacks.
Heard on NPR this antimatter that we rank somewhere in the low to high 20s in math and science education.
PFAW NOT EENUF HOM SKOOLIN FER TH YUNGUNS WHAT DID THAT
Ummmmm………Hitler?</i.
I won't find the link because it's just too depressing. I read (part of) an interview with Noam fucking Chomsky wherein he compares the suituation to Weimar Germany. He carefully states that there are many significant differences but also says that structurally there are fearful symmetries. When Noam fucking Chomsky, arguably the foremost intellectual and thinker of our time says that shit I get sooooo fucking depressed.
*sigh* tag fail, typo fail, grammar fail. I’ll just go drink myself into oblivion now if you please.
What’s wrong in this picture?
America being iconoclastic, nothing is wrong. We won’t do it (education, health care, foreign policy, etc.) like anyone else,
even ifespecially if they’re successful (we’re looking at you, Urpeens.)Noam fucking Chomsky, how does he work?
hey’re never going to hold Republicans accountable as long as there’s a single elected Democrat holding office anywhere in the country
Hell, even when the sorry sons of bitches ran the whole damn government they were going after college professors. Republicans are cowards, and a coward is never safe enough (see Cheney, Richard Bruce).
If their masturbatory fantasties came true and all of us were in camps, they’d still be whining about how they NEVER get their way.
Cowards and spoiled brats, the lot of them.
When Noam fucking Chomsky, arguably the foremost intellectual and thinker of our time says that shit I get sooooo fucking depressed.
Again with the depression. COME ON PEOPLE.
so you mean to tell me that, for 80 years, the nation’s been going to hell in a handbasket?
Nah, not quite 80. It started when Truman integrated the armed forces (as far as the modern Republican party is concerned).
So you mean to tell me that, for 80 years, the nation’s been going to hell in a handbasket?
Oh HELL no.
240 years.
If their masturbatory fantasties came true and all of us were in camps, they’d still be whining about how they NEVER get their way.
And then they’d start fighting amongst and trying to eliminate each other.
It’s not an ideology, it’s a psychological disorder.
*sigh* tag fail, typo fail, grammar fail. I’ll just go drink myself into oblivion now if you please.
care for company?
I won’t find the link because it’s just too depressing. I read (part of) an interview with Noam fucking Chomsky wherein he compares the suituation to Weimar Germany. He carefully states that there are many significant differences but also says that structurally there are fearful symmetries. When Noam fucking Chomsky, arguably the foremost intellectual and thinker of our time says that shit I get sooooo fucking depressed.
Robert Paxton thusly;
“Fascism may be defined as a form of political behavior marked by obsessive preoccupation with community decline, humiliation, or victim-hood and by compensatory cults of unity, energy, and purity, in which a mass-based party of committed nationalist militants, working in uneasy but effective collaboration with traditional elites, abandons democratic liberties and pursues with redemptive violence and without ethical or legal restraints goals of internal cleansing and external expansion.”
Check, check and check… certainly the teabaggers are the most successful proto-fascist movement in a long time. That last bit hasn’t happened yet, but there’s always hope.
Again with the depression. COME ON PEOPLE.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs floating in a pool?
Bob.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves?
Russel.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs who lives near a Tea Party rally?
The least-handicapped guy in the ‘hood.
*sigh* tag fail, typo fail, grammar fail. I’ll just go drink myself into oblivion now if you please.
Oh c’mon, man! At least you didn’t break the thread.
Yay.
#
Pere Ubu said,
October 12, 2010 at 18:17 (kill)
Yay.
Shit, now we have to sit through ANOTHER Santelli whine about how marginalized and ill treated they all are?
Check, check and check… certainly the teabaggers are the most successful proto-fascist movement in a long time. That last bit hasn’t happened yet, but there’s always hope.
I always think about what Sarah from Orcinus wrote a few months ago: “We aren’t at fascism yet, but we’re in the parking lot.”
I’ll partake in some of that drinking myself into oblivion, as well, if you don’t mind.
Oh, and re: Tintin’s piccy up top. Moe has really tricked out his Rascal.
N__B, you are no help.
I always think about what Sarah from Orcinus wrote a few months ago: “We aren’t at fascism yet, but we’re in the parking lot.”
Weekend before last, we saw the local rep company stage “Cabaret”.
Recognizing it as fiction, of course, it does indicate that Sara is pretty much on-target.
N__B sed
What do you call a zombie in a hot tub?
(I was going to use it earlier but then we got way past the zrm / actor exchange.)
N__B sed
What do you call a zombie in a hot tub?
Soup.
N__B, you are no help.
The no arms/no legs jokes cracked me up no end in 1974.
N__B, you are no help.
I bet he’s heard THAT before.
I was going to use it earlier but then we got way past the zrm / actor exchange
That sounds pretty disturbing when you put it that way.
I am not helpless.
The no arms/no legs jokes cracked me up no end in 1974.
You old people have the strangest senses of humor.
I was going to use it earlier but then we got way past the zrm / actor exchange
That sounds pretty disturbing when you put it that way.
*hides notebook of zrm/actor slashfic*
N__B, you are no help.
Your lawn, it is gotten off of.
Recognizing it as fiction, of course…
Fiction yes, but semi-autobiographical fiction. One should read Christopher and his Kind in conjunction with The Berlin Stories. Then watch Cabaret again.
Again with the depression. COME ON PEOPLE.
Seriously; it’s like the end of Jeepers Creepers 2 around here. Just because some ageless demon wants to eat you in order to regenerate its own body parts doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world. Remember: after 23 days, he’s gone!
Maybe this will turn some frowns upside-down?
Your lawn, it is gotten off of.
Aw, I’m sorry. I appreciate the effort!
*hides notebook of zrm/actor slashfic*
EWWW EWWW EWW EWWW EWWW.
I don’t even LIKE etchings.
Ah…link fail: http://www.cracked.com/blog/15-things-christine-odonnell-will-probably-say-next/
You old people have the strangest senses of humor.
I think the problem here is more the ‘engineer’ thing rather than the age.
Haw haw, zombie gnawing on bones.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Zombie.
Zombie who?
braaaaaaanes.
http://www.press.uchicago.edu/Misc/Chicago/511928.html
N__B said,
October 12, 2010 at 18:34
Okay, that made me laugh. All is forgiven.
Okay, that made me laugh. All is forgiven.
Really? That’s all it takes?
Sheesh.
Really? That’s all it takes?
Sheesh.
I dunno. Sometimes particularly dumb jokes make me giggle.
Really? That’s all it takes?
The A/E relationship in a
nutshellzombie whine.The A/E relationship in a nutshell zombie whine.
piffle. Engineers are never willing to ANSWER that question.
although “Nutshell Zombie Wine” sounds kind of tasty, as a fall beverage.
Yes, that’s all it takes.
justme said,
October 12, 2010 at 18:34
Thanks for the article.
Of course, show it to a teabagger, and they’ll just go “See? See? That proves our point! No one thinks universal health care’s a big deal but it’s really just a step on the road to fascism! Consider the ends, man! See? It starts with banning public prayer in schools, and it ends with Christians going to concentration camps! See? See, it all makes sense!”
If, God forbid, the country ever does find that parking spot T&U was ever talking about, the teabaggers will have been the first fascist movement to have come to power by accusing their enemies of being fascist.
I done killed the thread. Sorry folks.
You old people have the strangest senses of humor.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs tacked up on a wall?
Art
I think the problem here is more the ‘engineer’ thing rather than the age.
As an old man and the son of an engineer, I second that observation (engineers really are strange).
what do you call a dyslexic man being eaten by a zombie?
Brian.
I don’t even LIKE etchings.
Yes, you say that now, but I know differently.
Brian.
It is important to look on the bright side while your brain is being eaten by the undead.
And now my hate is on for Lurking Canadian.
STOP IT WITH THE EARWORMS, YO!
It is important to look on the bright side while your brain is being eaten by the undead.
Zombies often look on the blight side of life.
we also wear shades when the future’s so bright.
Rand Paul supports work regulations, as long as your name is “Clinton”.
we also wear shades when the future’s so bright.
You wear your sunglasses at night?
this guy named Matt had no arms and no legs and was sitting on my doorstep…
shit, I forgot the rest.
we also wear shades when the future’s so bright.
I though the shades were to, you know, catch your eyeballs before they fall out.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs stuck in your mailbox?
Bill
I though the shades were to, you know, catch your eyeballs before they fall out.
There were two choices: Rhinestone shades or cheap sunglasses.
There were two choices: Rhinestone shades or cheap sunglasses.
OK, even though you beat me to that one, golf clap.
Braintini?
Zombie climbing out of a grave?
Doug.
Zombie Lawyer?
Sue.
Since we’re continuing the “what do you call” meme, the correct ressponse to my rpevious query, N__B, is “Stu.”
What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn’t matter – he won’t come.
My typing is even worse than usual this morning. Can I blame it on DT’s?
OK, even though you beat me to that one, golf clap.
Braintini?
Don’t mind if I do, but I’ll pass on the amygdala sidecar.
Since we’re continuing the “what do you call” meme, the correct ressponse to my rpevious query, N__B, is “Stu.”
See, I’ve always heard that as “man with no arms and no legs being carried off by cannibals”…
PM started drinking without us.
Don’t mind if I do, but I’ll pass on the amygdala sidecar.
I’m buying a round of Pineal extract shots, though.
I’m buying a round of Pineal extract shots, though.
Just so long as you don’t buy too many. I don’t want to be third eye blind.
Drunk Zombie Typist?
Gdjgdjfsufnn
Just so long as you don’t buy too many. I don’t want to be third eye blind.
OK, look; I can’t afford to buy more than that one Braintini. Someone else will have to get this one for you.
This is almost stupid enough to really be something that buffoon Saxby Chambliss might have said. Almost, but not quite.
OK, look; I can’t afford to buy more than that one Braintini.
You could scale down to an off-brand brain. I hear liberal brains are plentiful and cheap while retaining a high quality.
This is almost stupid enough to really be something that buffoon Saxby Chambliss might have said. Almost, but not quite.
Hey, I never would’ve thought teabaggers would desert the Bush/McCain ship in droves in 2008 and start squealing about how the people they’d supported to their dying breath were really liberal socialists all along. Not only did it happen, it’s now conventional wisdom for half the nation, and even in the other half it doesn’t automatically qualify you as a loon.
They need to find ways to disassociate themselves from the disastrous results of their government – as time goes by, those ways get more and more loony.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs at the bottom of a hole?
Doug.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs who’s not at the bottom of a hole?
Douglass.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs at the bottom of a network of rabbit holes?
Warren
Just so long as you don’t buy too many. I don’t want to be third eye blind.
That is some next-level shit, right there. Golf clap.
They all come around eventually?
What do you call a woman with one leg?
Eileen.
I’ve never known any amputees named Neil.
What do you call a girl with one leg shorter than the other? Eileen.
What do you call a chinese girl with one leg shorter than the other? Irene.
FY Iggy. Besides, mine’s better.
I hear liberal brains are plentiful and cheap while retaining a high quality.
You offering?
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs at the bottom of a hole?
Doug.
AHEM, sir.
Zombie that dropped some pieces on a grill?
Patty.
Zombie whose PENIS fell onto a grill?
Frank.
Zombie still in the ground?
Douglas
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating at sea?
Bob.
You people are sick.
what do you call a man with no arms and no legs bouncing across the surface of the water?
Skip.
Zombie falling off a building, turning lazy somersaults on the way down?
Flip.
Zombie breaking in through your window?
Steve.
No really, that’s his name.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in your spice rack?
Herb
You people are sick.
Better than another thread of fish puns.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs who is subjected to gentle teasing?
Josh.
What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs on your tennis court?
Annette
Better than another thread of fish puns.
Guy with no arms or legs in a sea full of sharks?
Chum.
Better than another thread of fish puns.
Guy with no arms or legs in a sea full of sharks?
Chum.
Guy with no arms and no legs you keep trying to drown?
Duncan
“assistance of a Genoan who was wrong about the size of the Earth”
Er, actually, Cristoforo Colombo was well aware of the approximate size of the Earth; he did, however, deliberately pick the lowest educated estimate of its size in his sales pitch to Bella and Ferd. He also drew in convenient and wholly speculative islands on his presentation maps of the Atlantic. Pretty typical of a late medieval Genoese merchant-military adventurer type. See J. Russel, _Inventing the Flat Earth_.
(Genoese bankers were all over Iberian commercial centers and ended up getting a major share of all that sweet New World silver bullion; the rest Spain would squander in its 80-year Netherlands quagmire, and other disastrous military projects.)
Chum.
ooo, well played.
See actpr for your Braintini.
What do you call a man with no arms on a barbershop floor?
Harry.
; the rest Spain would squander in its 80-year Netherlands quagmire, and other disastrous military projects.
See that, people? Spain had an 80 year quagmire. That’s how empires rolled back in the day, before you namby-pamby liberals screwed everything up with your “human rights” and your “peace movement” and your never-to-be-sufficiently-damned “universal suffrage”. If America were a real Empire, we could have been fighting in Vietnam until 2040! Effin quitters!
Man with no arms or legs playing hockey, eh?
Puck.
Zombie that ate the contents of Moe Lane’s cranium?
Ralph.
Zombie that dropped some pieces on a grill?
I remember that scene from that fine documentary Monkeybone.
M. Bouffant said,
October 12, 2010 at 7:42
Schadenfreude involving Alex Knepper.
Heh. Hilarity ensues. Moral is, do not piss off other right-wing bloggers and then give them an opportunity for revenge, by publishing about the sexual attractiveness of 16-year-olds. Not unless you’re John Derbyshire, anyway.
Alex is just looking for emotional-age-appropriate partners.
Confession Time. That IHOP Colorado Omelet? Looks fucking delicious.
Whoops, wronog threedle.
Whoops, wronog threedle.
Your mom said that when she walked into a revival meeting instead of the biker bar.
Hey, I never would’ve thought teabaggers would desert the Bush/McCain ship in droves in 2008 and start squealing about how the people they’d supported to their dying breath were really liberal socialists all along.
I never would have thought that stuff would happen either and I was right because it never did. When the GOP got its ass kicked in 2006 many wingnuts said it was because Bush was not really a conservative but they still showed up to vote for McCain-Palin in 2008 and the other Republicans on their ballots. Republicans in total did vote for McCain in lower percentages than Bush in 2004, 90% vs 93% while Obama’s share of registered Republicans was 9% vs Kerry’s 6%, but there’s no way that 3% went for Obama because they thought McCain was a socialist. It was the relatively sane Republicans and independent voters who abandoned the Republicans in droves, not teabaggers
Not only did it happen, it’s now conventional wisdom for half the nation, and even in the other half it doesn’t automatically qualify you as a loon
First clause of the sentence is, again, objectively wrong. The second clause is not something I have seen statistics for but it’s undoubtedly just as wrong and completely made up. Nowhere near half the country would associate Bush or McCain with liberalism or socialism. Where do you get these ideas and why don’t you keep them to yourself?
Moe used to be sane, back before he left Obsidian Wings for Red State. I miss the pre-Red State Moe more every time he takes another slug of the Kool-Aid.