If Only It Were 1846 Again
Posted on September 28th, 2010 by Tintin
ABOVE: Hinderaker wonders where all the nurses have gone
Shorter John Hinderaker, Powerlie Blog:
Where Are People Stoned to Death?
- From where I sit (which is well beyond any real battlefield), the stoning of a small-town mayor in Mexico is sufficient casus belli for our military to invade Mexico. ¡Conmoción y pavor, muchachos!
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
If those brown people were civilized, they’d use Predator drones armed with Hellfire missiles. After all, our God is bigger than their God.
effin liburls need to quit their gdam whining
Shirley you meant retards, Joe?
~
Mexico makes Iraq look like Switzerland.
Why do you think we call him dope?
I don’t know what the solution is-
This should be the only thing Assrocket ever writes.
How about taking the profits out of the drug trade by declaring an end to “the war on drugs”?
~
Where Are People Stoned to Death?
In Bill Bennett’s fevered imagination?
I don’t know what the solution is–other than the obvious, a massive application of police/military force to kill the criminals–
Which never ever works, but it sure is fun while it lasts!
/assrocket
Mexico makes Iraq look like Switzerland.
Belgium makes Qatar look like Argentina.
Belgium makes Qatar look like Argentina.
Actually, Texas makes Iraq look like Belgium.
What buttrocket knows about Mexico could be entirely contained in a jicarita with plenty of room left for mezcal.
Oh, come on now, Assrocket.
You know damn well if they allowed death by stoning here in America, you’d be one of the strongest advocates of it. Real punishment! Manly torture! Blood & gore! Put it on TV! Fun for the entire True American family!
Why does anyone give a flying fuck what this tool thinks?
Why does anyone give a flying fuck what this tool thinks?
‘Cause it’s fun to mock his massive stupidity, and he might stop by like Donalde did and make an even bigger fool of himself as a result.
CORNDOG ISREAL, Assrocket!
Why does anyone give a flying fuck what this tool thinks?
He calls them brave and tough for free.
I can’t wait to for the “We’re Winning in Mexico” cover on the National Review, followed by the onset of massive sectarian violence and the displacement of a couple million Messicans by ethnic cleansing.
Actually, Texas makes Iraq look like Belgium.
can I try?
Norway makes Somalia look like Finland
Eritrea makes France look like Andorra
Can we do cities too?
Novosibirsk makes Timbuktu look like Vladivostok
Paris Idaho makes Paris Texas look like Paris Kentucky!’
whee! I could do this all day!
Mexico makes Barsoom look like Latveria.
Mexico makes Barsoom look like Latveria.
Cancun makes Atlantis look like Dadaism
The mangoes are also cursed:
In Iran, sure, but those are mostly women.
Well sure, that’s understandable. Who cares if a few filthy harlots are stoned to death for such obvious crimes as having boyfriends or getting raped, that’s completely understandable, but the savages in Mexico have stoned a man here people, an important man. WHERE ARE THE AIRSTRIKES?
Yellowknife makes R’lyeh look like Alpha Complex.
I don’t know what the solution is–other than the obvious, a massive application of police/military force to kill the criminals
When all you have is a conservative worldview, everything looks like a job for massive use of force. Also, a little surprised he didn’t describe them as “terrorists”, he’s certainly scared shitless of them.
You know damn well if they allowed death by stoning here in America, you’d be one of the strongest advocates of it. Real punishment! Manly torture! Blood & gore! Put it on TV! Fun for the entire True American family!
Stoning? No, not because of the brutality or injustice but because the filthy mooslems own it. Now lynching there’s something the American taliban could get behind. A real American tradition.
The Island of Sodor makes Mega-City One look like veterinary medicine
When all you have is a conservative worldview, everything looks like a job for massive use of force. Also, a little surprised he didn’t describe them as “terrorists”, he’s certainly scared shitless of them.
When all of the US armed forces are robots and drones, shitheads like hindrocket will be driving them. And he will show all of the judgment and restraint he uses in his columns too.
veterinary medicine makes the color blue seem like Minsk
In Iran, sure, but those are mostly women.
Yeah, I actually got out of the boat, saw this, vomited, and hopped right back in.
Minsk makes fainting goats look like McDonaldland.
He would not feel so all alone if everybody must get stoned.
Momma makes point guards look like dead fish.
How do you stone a man to death? Tie them to a chair and force them to smoke joints non stop untill he dies, stopped only when you offer him something to eat to keep his strenght up so he can keep smoking?
Actually, Might not be a bad idea for the convict, but I’m pretty sure death row would be overcrowded soon.
So, Mexico has the right to change borders of foreign countries?`That can’t be what he means.
Mexico is selling Iraq ski-resorts, honeychocolate and cuckoo-clocks in an efford to rebrand Iraq? No, can’t be it either.
Mexican banking makes Iraqi banks look like safe and reliable?
That must be it.Obviouly in his mind the only option is to destroy all mexican banks.
Shorter every wingnut: What we need to do is make of every land a desert, then call it peace.
Shorter every wingnut: What we need to do is make of every land a desert, then call it peace.
PS: Don’t ask *ME* to help!
Judith of Hungary makes Elaphomycetaceae seem like Unis?awice, Lower Silesian Voivodeship
Hindraker had better be careful: he came very close there to insulting tweakers. It does not pay to alienate one’s own readership.
Hey! You’re just hitting “Random Article” on Wikipedia!
In Germany, sure but those are mostly Jews.
Hey! You’re just hitting “Random Article” on Wikipedia!
…maybe
Where are people lynched?
In the deep south, sure, but those are mostly blacks.
Where are people burned at the stake?
In Spain, sure, but those are mostly women.
Where are people fed to lions?
In Rome, sure but those are mostly Christians.
Shorter every wingnut: What we need to do is make of every land a desert, then call it peace.
You just hit the nail on the head. Wingnuts don’t believe in peaceful solutions. They believe that violence is the solution to every problem.
Which means, there’s only one way to get rid of them….
See, he could have stopped with the first phrase, but sadly, no. It’s hardly “obvious” that a “massive application of police/military force” would do a fucking thing, since it really, genuinely is obvious that, not only has our military been run ragged by two grinding wars, but that also the cartels have the advantage not only of the home field and lots of weapons but also lots of cash.
“Well, gringo, here’s the deal. We kill you and take your weapons, and your cheap-ass benefit-cutting government stiffs your widow and orphans on the death benefits, or you take this bag of cash and claim you got lost.”
“Hey, no Zeta ever called me trailer trash.”
I’m sure that Assrocket would probably accuse me of treason/thoughtcrime for suggesting such a possibility. Then again, for him the real downside of all this unpleasantness south of the border is that he can’t catch a donkey show at his convenience.
I don’t blame assrocket for being scared, what with all those headless corpses turning up in Minneapolis-St.Paul.
I don’t know what the solution is–other than the obvious, a massive application of police/military force to kill the criminals–but at a minimum, we should take notice.
Jesus’ tits. Yeah, that seems really fucking obvious to me.
Of course, there’s no discussion as to the economic situation that is responsible for a lot of these problems, but you know, who the fuck wants to deny the myth of the Great Democratizing Influence of “Free Trade.”
It’s often time consuming, risky and expensive to distinguish between criminals and non-criminal civilians, so it’s a better use of force to target any community for destruction which might in some way be connected to criminal behavior.
It’s often time consuming, risky and expensive to distinguish between criminals and non-criminal civilians
Plus, all those people look alike anyway.
DUH. It says FREE right in the name. Why do you hate FREEDOM?
“Wingnuts don’t believe in peaceful solutions. They believe that violence is the solution to every problem.”
Jennifer-
Dennis G at Balloon Juice has been hitting this hard lately.
the cartels have the advantage not only of the home field and lots of weapons
And guess where they get their weapons from?
Why, goshes, the USA, where the idjit gun lobby makes guns as available as Big Gulps at 7-11.
Why, goshes, the USA, where the idjit gun lobby makes guns as available as Big Gulps at 7-11.
in my dreams. There are no 7-11s anywhere near here but there sure are plenty of gun shops in central WI.
CORNDOG ISREAL!
CORNDOG ISREAL is offensive as pork is forbidden to those of the Jewish faith.
I’m torn between not believing the shorter and not wanting to be horrified by getting off the boat. It’s a dilemma, I tell ya.
I’m torn between not believing the shorter and not wanting to be horrified by getting off the boat. It’s a dilemma, I tell ya.
Stay in the boat. Trust.
“CORNDOG ISREAL is offensive as pork is forbidden to those of the Jewish faith”
Ha! You are wrong. The Talmud says it is only the flesh of the pig that is not to be eaten. The innards are free for the eatin’. And they are delicious.
DON’T FORGET SWITZERLAND.
Hey, armed force solved the problem of gigantic narco-trafficking operations in Colombia, and this success can be measured in many ways, from the increase in drugs exports from Colombia to the increasing purity and potency of said narcotics, as well as such innovations as homemade submarines bringing shipments into the Pacific coast of Mexico which explains why Acapulco is now a drug baron base and shootouts with cops and military often result in the defeat of law enforcement and the executions of their high officers.
Reminds me of my favorite quote from the Retief sci-fi series: “There’s nothing quite so peaceful as a dead troublemaker!” (right up there with “A megaton of prevention…)
Say what you will about the sheer quantity of Teh Stupidz over there, Assrocket is smart enough not to allow comments…
Why, goshes, the USA, where the idjit gun lobby makes guns as available as Big Gulps at 7-11.
There was a convenience store right across the street from Duke University that sold ammo. So you could get your Big Gulp at the same time.
I don’t know what the solution is–other than the obvious, a massive application of police/military force to kill the criminals–but at a minimum, we should take notice.
They will all be criminals eventually… why make distinctions?
Hinderaker makes Surber look like Hoft.
The ‘solution’ for problems outside our borders- kill the muthafukkahs! Problems inside our borders (commonwealths, protectorates and territories included), starve and/or imprison the scoundrels, then kill them. Call it , let’s see, we already had the ‘the Contract’, now ‘the Pledge’, how about ‘the Promise to Amurikkka’.
Forget the mangos, VS. Stay and juice the papaya.
What the Rectal Exocet wants to do is inflict even more misery on the Mexican people, thereby giving them more reasons to emigrate to the United States, wherein they will be met by xenophobia and anti-immigrant hysteria fed by the likes of the Rectal Exocet.
Fair enough, Hineyraker. If we had an actual, you know, news media in this country instead of idiot shouting heads, perhaps the American people would be more aware of what’s happening across the border. Be prepared for the downside though: much less Teabagger coverage for one and far less Sekrit Kenyan Mooslim stories, not to mention the decline in coverage of who the latest starlet was fucking. Perhaps an actual discussion of the merits of being just a bit more careful about to whom we sell weaponry. Possibly a serious conversation regarding how to get the middle class going again.
Oh also, you’d be out on your ass and never allowed near a keyboard ever again.
Sigh. A girl can dream, can’t she?
Assrocket just wants some Shock and Awe in a more convenient time zone. There must be a couple of trillion lying around to get this done, right?
SKYCAKE!
From the story Hindy quotes:
Hmm. Sounds like they’re trying the Hindy method already.
Still, I think this was the dumbest thing he ever wrote:
Wingnut scientists have been studying the problem of the 3rd Amendment, because up to now it’s the only one the War on Terror hasn’t managed to violate, but a local war with one of America’s neighbours would provide just the pretext needed to quarter soldiers in private homes* along the border.
It’s a major breakthrough. If they can pull it off, they’ll be 10 for 10 on the original bill of rights and can move on to violating the 11th through 27th as “Phase II” of their long term plan: Shithole America: 3rd World and Beyond!
* – homes of brown people of course
“Possibly a serious conversation regarding how to get the middle class going again.
HAHA!! That ain’t ever gonna happen. Who needs a middle class when all our companies are overseas?
There must be a couple of trillion lying around to get this done, right?
I’m sure we can just borrow it from the Chinese again.
I’m sure we can just borrow it from the Chinese again.
There’s no such thing as deficit spending for defense!
Wingnut scientists have been studying the problem of the 3rd Amendment, because up to now it’s the only one the War on Terror hasn’t managed to violate, but a local war with one of America’s neighbours would provide just the pretext needed to quarter soldiers in private homes* along the border.
Oh, that’s easy. Eminent Domain the homes you like for “national security”. Then they aren’t private homes anymore. And if people resist, they plainly are siding with the terrorists. Why do they hate America?
There’s no such thing as deficit spending for defense!
Worked so well during the Reagan years, after all!
The biggest problem with the Constitution is Article 1. We really don’t need a legislature because The Constitution tells us all the laws we need and the President enforces them and the Supreme Court can destroy any attempt at people to stop what the President does by lawsuits.
You know, he proved that deficits don’t matter.
Unless, of course, there’s a Dhimicrat in office then it’s the worst thing ever.
SKYCAKE!
*quietly sidling into the blog, discreetly peering around, no sign of actor*
Okay then, seems safe to post this.
The SKYCAKE is a lie.
Mexico makes Iraq look like Switzerland.
Belgium makes Qatar look like Argentina.
Spike heel boots make my feet look like Italy. Not that I would wear such a thing, unless my audition for the Drag Race is successful. SNAP.
Jim DeMint plans to shut down the government and Politico says this could mean trouble for Democrats:
http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0910/42807.html
I think his complaint must be that the Messicans and Eye-rakis aren’t as technologically advanced as we Mericans are.
THEY use stones – how primitive. WE, on the other hand, have pick-up trucks and chains, so we can drag people to death.
The winner, in my geeky opinion, has to be
Particularly since I just heard about the live action John Carter Of Mars in the works.
I’m sure we can just borrow it from the Chinese again.
But preventing entire states from defaulting and hundreds of thousands of workers from going out on the street is sozlism. They’re all gummint workers, anyway, and mostly brown.
Is there a way DeMented could actually get the gavel? Short of killing everyone with more seniority than him, I mean? I remember a Ray Bradbury story about people who traveled back in time to avoid an apocalyptically destructive future president. Well, Ray was only 23 years off, and he had the wrong office.
Jim DeMint plans to shut down the government
As frickin’ usual, I would like to apologize to everyone for South Carolina and the idiots we insist on putting in office.
In this instance, I think Politico is correct, that it would be trouble for Dems. Dems blew the issue of middle-class tax cuts versus wealthy tax cuts, and they will be portrayed as the gang that allowed the government to get shut down. These people could fuck up a wet dream.
Christ. What a little tinpot dictator.
South Carolina Sen. Jim DeMint warned Monday evening that he would block all legislation that has not been cleared by his office in the final days of the pre-election session.
Bret Bernhardt, DeMint’s chief of staff, said in an e-mail to GOP aides that his boss would place a hold on all legislation that has not been cleared by both parties by the end of the day Tuesday.
I think his complaint must be that the Messicans and Eye-rakis aren’t as technologically advanced as we Mericans are.
See Palestine/Israel
As frickin’ usual, I would like to apologize to everyone for South Carolina and the idiots we insist on putting in office.
You still have remarkably beautiful cities like Greenville. (I was just there, and hadn’t even heard of it before. What a great little town. A minor league ballpark and a gorgeous waterfall park within blocks of my hotel. Plus, you have to love a place whose leading citizen is famous for giving his name to the Poinsettia plant.)
It’s a good thing America’s founding fathers rejected having a monarch and instead settled on having 2 Kings of America per state.
I like how he admits that he’s not sure about the solution, but seems to think a full scale invasion should be carried out just to be safe.
Intentional? Pastor Ted Haggard stands behind Bishop Eddie Long
Isn’t Ted a little old for that dude?
not sure about the solution, but seems to think a full scale invasion should be carried out just to be safe.
Nuking the site from orbit – The Only Way To Be Sure™.
Hundreds of proofs of God’s existence.
I meant “intetntional VBR”, of course. FYWP.
As frickin’ usual, I would like to apologize to everyone for South Carolina and the idiots we insist on putting in office.
Don’t apologize to us. We know you’re sorely outnumbered by teh suck down there. We feel bad for you.
Why does anyone give a flying fuck what this tool thinks?
Time blog of the year. God only knows why they have cred, but they do.
I don’t know what the solution is–other than the obvious, a massive application of police/military force to kill the criminals–but at a minimum, we should take notice.
The first part, as pointed out above, is taking place already, hence the revenge murder. I’m pretty sure the second is, too, as there are people whose job it is to pay attention to stuff and keep other people informed of it. I know this will come as a shock to Hindy, but we even have people stationed IN Mexico to help with this!
War with Mexico is indeed justified. The federal government has not been serious about controling our southern border since the Eisenhower Administration. And John F. Kennedy’s callous disregard for protecting American culture by abolishing Our Nation’s white’s only immigration policy only served to begin the long downward spiral of American culture. The result being we haven’t had any sufficent enforcement along our southern border in almost fifty years.
If the situation changes with the election of Tea Party Patriots to Congress, and if they get their way it surely will, then maybe the influx of illegal aliens will be halted permenantly by the securing of Our Nation’s Southern Border. The remaining illegal aliens will then be easily rounded up and deported. However, Mexico has repeatedly violated American national soverignty by turning a blind eye to and otherwise actively encouraging the mass invasion of Our Nation by millions of their citizens. Some Mexico politicians, icluding President Calderon have expressed publicly that they believe the American Southwest belongs to Mexico.
Is this unchecked invasion Mexico’s way of supposedly “reclaiming” their “lost territory?” There are too many red flags for this to be a coincidence. There is also the issue of Mexican troops assiting drug cartels and illegal border crossings on the American side of the border. There have been many acts of war perpetrated by the Mexican side, and yet for whatever reason not one American President has fulfilled their responsibility as Commander in Chief of the American armed forces and taken the necessary military action to defend American sovereignty.
I think the actions of Mexico, the unchecked illegal invasion, the murders and kiddnappings of American citizens by their drug cartels and migrants on our side of the border, and Mexican troops movements on our side of the border, some of which have opened fire on American border patrol, all call for an official declaration of war against Mexcio.
Hundreds of proofs of God’s existence.
They seem to have omitted the “Argument by Italicized Repetition” proof. Perhaps they are just slow to update their site.
It’s a good thing America’s founding fathers rejected having a monarch and instead settled on having 2 Kings of America per state
Thus making certain that the sparsely populated and craziest states can stop anything useful and keep teh crazy in our schools and common law.
War with Mexico would increase the invasion of the United States by paramilitary narco-trafficking, rather than reduce it. Good idea.
Pastor Ted Haggard stands behind Bishop Eddie Long
Not hot.
Did someone just take a massive dump in here?
Oh, it’s only Steve, the idiot.
You first, Steve. Fix your bayonet and charge across the desert. We’ll be right behind you.
The remaining illegal aliens will then be easily rounded up and deported.
And then produce will cost ten times what it does now! wheeee! Win-win.
I know this will come as a shock to Hindy, but we even have people stationed IN Mexico to help with this!
Shocking, considering these people put their lives at risk while Assrocket sits back and muses on the virtue of state-sponsored mass murders. Kill everybody, he says, not unlike what a socipathic cartel boss might say.
I don’t know what the solution is, but perhaps we can toss the Rocket into an effluent tank. That way we’d be sure he can smell what the blog is cookin’.
Steve, seek psychological help now.
Nice job finding all that shit to copy and paste without letting a single actual fact slip by that eagle eye of yours.
You first, Steve. Fix your bayonet and charge across the desert. We’ll be right behind you.
YetAnotherVBR
The remaining illegal aliens will then be easily rounded up and deported.
It’s easy to recognize them because they all look like Phil Collins in a sombrero.
YetAnotherVBR
Somebody is horny today.
El Cid said,
September 28, 2010 at 18:23
“War with Mexico would increase the invasion of the United States by paramilitary narco-trafficking, rather than reduce it. Good idea.”
This is the exact same attitude that leftists in Congress have historically used to weasel their way out of defending American soverignty.
No, war with Mexico would not increase border crossings, they would reduce it. With the Main American battle line deployed along the southern border to guard Our National borders and supply reinforcements while American shock troops advance into Mexican territory would push the Mexican paramilitaries back not foward. Any Mexican paramilitaries would be hardpressed to break past American troop positions.
It’s easy to recognize them because they all look like Phil Collins in a sombrero.
You know who else looked like Phil Collins in a sombrero, right?
Perhaps there exists a person who has not heard this.
No, war with Mexico would not increase border crossings, they would reduce it. With the Main American battle line deployed along the southern border to guard Our National borders and supply reinforcements while American shock troops advance into Mexican territory would push the Mexican paramilitaries back not foward. Any Mexican paramilitaries would be hardpressed to break past American troop positions.
God, rightwingers are fucking stupid.
Somebody is horny today.
When all you have is a
hammerraging hard-on…Too bad all our troops are overseas fighting those other wars you wanted soooooo badly, eh Steve?
The best way to get rid of illegals is to genetically modify BULL SHARKS to live on land and be able to tell who isn’t a citizen or green card holder.
Eh! Steve!
No, war with Mexico would not increase border crossings, they would reduce it.
It would play hell with antecedent-pronoun agreement, though. In fact, it already has.
Utter bullshit. Chaos would increase along the 2,000 mile border, it would be far easier for the billion dollar drug forces to pay off soldiers and border guards (yeah, they’re too fucking loyal to take $20K in cash), just like the gigantic deployment of troops all across Colombia has resulted in an increase in narco-trafficking.
And I like the notion that the millions of illegally entering migrants spread throughout the nation would suddenly become easy to locate, identify, round up, hold, and deport, because we haven’t anywhere near the police or military capacity to do the first set and I’d like to see the proposals for what military or law enforcement transportation capacity exists to carry millions of people in a year or so across the country.
Another shorter from Hindyworld today:
http://www.powerlineblog.com/archives/2010/09/027320.php
That’s the link!
Christine O’Donnell claims she studied at Oxford because she took a course from “The Phoenix Institute” that used space at Oxford.
The bull sharks have been on the warpath here all summer. Six good attacks around Jacksonville, a few here in GA and one unholy ten footer removed from the beach on St Simons. It is not known whether any of the victims were ALIENS.
For a while I was the director of the Smithsonian’s Air & Space Museum, during the time when I was walking through it as an official ticket holder.
The best way to get rid of illegals is to genetically modify BULL SHARKS to live on land and grow frickin’ lasers on their heads!
Fixed for better sci-fientology.
I find people using RTS game tactics as feasible tactics in real life conflict funny.
Stupid, delusional and occationally unstable, but most of the time funny.
Reminds me of this one guy (I met long time ago) who thought that instead of the missile defense program they should just build a big dome over US that could withstand a nuclear apon blasts. And have small holes in it (like in bunkers) so missiles could be fired out.
Real teabagger material, I tell you.
Reminds me of this one guy (I met long time ago) who thought that instead of the missile defense program they should just build a big dome over US that could withstand a nuclear apon blasts. And have small holes in it (like in bunkers) so missiles could be fired out.
Was he 12?
No, he was in high school, I think senior but am not 100% sure.
In the infinitely remote chance of a war with Mexico I know which side I’d be on (hint: it wouldn’t be Cohete de culo’s). Last night’s nasty landslide in Oaxaca is only fifty miles from the village of which I’m an honorary citizen.
Is this unchecked invasion Mexico’s way of supposedly “reclaiming” their “lost territory?”
I like the scare quotes as if there is some historical question about whether Mexico lost territory to the US.
Steve, these guys here are so crazy they’ll even tell you how the europeans “stole” North and South America from the people who lived here already when they arrived. It’s hilarious.
Reminds me of this one guy (I met long time ago) who thought that instead of the missile defense program they should just build a big dome over US that could withstand a nuclear apon blasts. And have small holes in it (like in bunkers) so missiles could be fired out.
Admittedly the construction project would create a lot of jobs.
And the Plains states would never have to worry about flooding ever again, ’cause there’d be no rain. And no sunlight. Whee!
What if we hired like, 10 million Chinamen to guard our border with Mexico? That would work. Plus they’d work real cheap, and we could build really big boats and if a few of them sank no one would notice.
And the Plains states would never have to worry about flooding ever again, ’cause there’d be no rain. And no sunlight. Whee!
JUST like mother’s basement. How ironically convenient.
One sure way of having fewer Mexicans cross the border is to have America collapse economically and have no government services for anybody.
have no government services for anybody
Jim DeMinty is working hard on that last one, I hear.
My initial plan for the southern border as you all know was a wall stretching across the entire length of the border manned by U.S. troops. However, I’ve been meditating as of late on an even more effiecient plan that will also save the American taxpayer billions of dollars. I’m talking about a military invasion of Mexico with the purpose of annexing the three border provinces of Chiuawa, Sonorra and Baja California for the purpose of creating a military buffer zone.
The Mexican inhabitants of these regions would of course be forcibly deplaced to more inland provinces. These three border regions will then be placed under permenant military occupation thus ensuring the future security of Our Nation and Our National Soveringty.
I guess the construction would fit in wingnut logic and knowledge of things like Engineering and architecture.
So, when do the Sadly No resident architects design the FREEDOM dome?
Because if they won’t they clearly hate America, what other reason could they have?
Reminds me of this one guy (I met long time ago) who thought that instead of the missile defense program they should just build a big dome over US that could withstand a nuclear apon blasts. And have small holes in it (like in bunkers) so missiles could be fired out.
Was this before or after the Simpsons movie came out?
The Mexican inhabitants of these regions would of course be forcibly deplaced to more inland provinces. These three border regions will then be placed under permenant military occupation thus ensuring the future security of Our Nation and Our National Soveringty.
Um, go away? Even if you’re a parody, I hate you.
Is this unchecked invasion Mexico’s way of supposedly “reclaiming” their “lost territory?”
Between “RECONQUISTA OMFG@!!!” and the Cordoba House thing, WTF is it with teabaggers and “losing territory to TEH EMENEY”?
I mean, it’s bog-standard conspiritorial nuttiness, but really now!
Way before. 1998 or 1999 I think.
You think he went to work for Fox?
I’m talking about a military invasion of Mexico with the purpose of annexing the three border provinces of Sudentenland, Austria and Poland for the purpose of creating a military buffer zone.
Fix’hed for accuracy.
And it sounded better in the original German, Stevie.
The federal government has not been serious about controling our southern border since the Eisenhower Administration.
Steve, why do you hate Reagan? Don’t you know Eisenhower worked closely with actual communists before becoming President?
The Mexican inhabitants of these regions would of course be forcibly deplaced to more inland provinces.
Six feet inland, if you get his drift.
My initial plan for the southern border as you all know was a wall stretching across the entire length of the border manned by U.S. troops.
Let me guess – your planning was done using a Risk board, wasn’t it?
However, I’ve been meditating as of late on an even more effiecient [sic] plan that will also save the American taxpayer billions of dollars. I’m talking about a military invasion of Mexico with the purpose of annexing the three border provinces of Chiuawa, Sonorra and Baja California for the purpose of creating a military buffer zone.
Yes, yes, the invasion will pay for itself. We saw how well that worked out back in 2003, didn’t we?
The Mexican inhabitants of these regions would of course be forcibly deplaced [sic] to more inland provinces. These three border regions will then be placed under permenant [sic]military occupation thus ensuring the future security of Our Nation and Our National Soveringty[sic].
We did that in 1848.
I don’t know what the solution is–other than the obvious, a massive application of police/military force to kill the criminals
… and that is why you are considered to be so stinkingly STUPID. You can’t even imagine a solution to horrific problems other than horrific murdering violence of everyone near to the problem.
All this proves is that you still can’t parody wingnuts because no one can tell the difference. Steve might be a parody but a parody that is indistinguishable from what your average Minuteman would tell you from his lawn chair observation post on the border.
Let me guess – your planning was done using a Risk board, wasn’t it?
I sure as fuck hope we get Australia.
One sure way of having fewer Mexicans cross the border is to have America collapse economically and have no government services for anybody.
Hey, then we can all get jobs protecting the Canadian border against those lazy, filthy illegal Americans trying to sneak in!
These three border regions will then be placed under permenant[sic] military occupation thus ensuring the future security of Our Nation and Our National Soveringty[sic][SICK].
Yup, nothing makes you more secure than invading your neighbors and stealing their land because that never pisses anybody off. It also really underscores how much you objectively respect “nations” and “national sovereignty” as concepts.
Let me guess – your planning was done using a Risk board, wasn’t it?
This smacks of Ouija board planning to me…
Someone deserves to get skull-fucked. (warning – link to Salon.com, you’ll have to click through the ad). Really, the woman is vile.
I sure as fuck hope we get Australia.
Irkutsk FTW!
And all we would have achieved is to have moved our failed border control strategy South, and now would have had to figure out how to forcibly migrate tens of millions of Mexicans, while maintaining our economy under the complete embargo placed on the US by the UN and member nations.
Steve’s not even trying. Why can’t we just release a genetically modified virus that only kills Mexicans? Or, we could perfect the neutron bomb that only kills people but doesn’t destroy infrastructure and use it to depopulate Mexico.
Or, we could build a “No Mexican” force field at the border, and just zap them as they cross.
Or, we could build Killer Robots that can detect Mexican DNA and release them in a swarm at the Rio Grande, going both North and South on search and destroy missions.
Sonora is a dagger pointed at the Heartland of America and we need truly final solutions, not the unworkable garbage Steve keeps proposing.
And all we would have achieved is to have moved our failed border control strategy South, and now would have had to figure out how to forcibly migrate tens of millions of Mexicans, while maintaining our economy under the complete embargo placed on the US by the UN and member nations.
Yes, but you have left out one critical piece of information – for the first time in decades, Steve would have achieved an erection.
Why can’t we get sharks with frickin’ laser beams on their heads?
Sonora is a dagger pointed at the Heartland of America and we need truly final solutions, not the unworkable garbage Steve keeps proposing.
It scares me that a Canadian has this many ideas ready-to-hand on how to deal with an unruly southern neighbor.
We can fire tacos behind them and they’ll all go South.
She floats the idea that the organizers of Park51 are terrorists before acknowledging that she doesn’t know much about Imam Feisal Abdul Rauf.
Teabaggers – never letting the facts get in the way of a good old-fashioned Two
MinutesYears Hate!It scares me that a Canadian has this many ideas ready-to-hand on how to deal with an unruly southern neighbor.
Our problem is that, unlike Russia, if invaded by our unruly neighbour, we have no land to trade for time. I mean, yeah, we have a lot of land up there, but you’ll get all the good stuff in the first gulp then laugh at us trying to survive our first winter in our sod houses.
Of course, if you come, you’ll come for the oil, which is pretty far North. But where is the Yukonian Zhukov who will save us?
I think I’ve located Steve – on the East Coast.
But where is the Yukonian Zhukov who will save us?
Could I interest you in Sarah Palin? She knows all about moose and such…
Of course, if you come, you’ll come for the oil, which is pretty far North.
We’ll take your water as well
“But where is the Yukonian Zhukov who will save us?”
You still have Dudley Do Right, don’t you?
Ha!!!! Suckers! We’re coming for your women!
Ha!!!! Suckers! We’re coming for your women!
Steve has always had a Canadian girlfriend.
Ha!!!! Suckers! We’re coming for your women!
Not me, but I am interested in the male cross-country skiers. They should be ripped but not too fast to be caught eventually.
LOL. Fair enough.
I’m playing the world’s smallest violin for the TeaTards.
Of course, if you come, you’ll come for the oil, which is pretty far North. But where is the Yukonian Zhukov who will save us?
We have you surrounded. Surrender the beer and the oil and nobody gets hurt.
Our problem is that, unlike Russia, if invaded by our unruly neighbour, we have no land to trade for time. I mean, yeah, we have a lot of land up there, but you’ll get all the good stuff in the first gulp then laugh at us trying to survive our first winter in our sod houses.
Give it a few years. Your land might actually be a tropical paradise.
Anybody want to guess what Mexico’s biggest problem is? Answer: illegal immigration! That’s right, immigrants from much-poorer Honduras, Guatemala and Nicaragua making their way into Mexico. Of course, a lot of these are just trying to get through Mexico to reach the US, but many just want the promise of a better life in Mexico.
What idiots like possibly-parody Steve don’t realize, is that Mexico is not some desparately impoverished shithole; there are places much, much worse in the world. Oh, sure, compared to Americans they seem pretty bad off, but if you take the standard of living in the whole world, from Monaco to Mogadishu, from Boston to Bombay, and average it all out, you get, approximately, Mexico.
Mexico is not some desparately impoverished shithole
Teabaggers think all the rest of the world is like that, except maybe for Europe which is a Stalinist shithole.
possibly-parody Steve
Haha–Suddenly Steve.
Bet that’s what his wife calls him–BAAAHAHAHAHAHA!
Bet that’s what his wife calls him
His Canadian girlfriend, you mean.
But it is exactly that!
We fins for example have govermental health care forced on all of us, with everyone being allowed cheap medication, doctor visits and help in public hospitals and clinics. Except if you wish to pay extra money and go to private care, you may also do that.
We have fiendish unemployment benefits and social programs meant to help people at times of trouble. They even force free education (even college level and university if you are qualified) on us.
It is true that we usually rank in top ten in any kind of “good life” measurements, but is that enough of an excuse to give traffic fines of 500.000€ for speeding to rich people who clearly have sacrificed so much?
Won’t someone please save us from this terrible socialist hell…
…I propably should not make fun of the subject, some wingnut might take it seriously, and demand US liberates Finland.
Fins should share with the rest of the fish;
Finns should share with the rest of the world.
Another shorter from Hindyworld today:
Correlation equals causation and only idiot Dumbocraps don’t know it.
But yes!
His Canadian girlfriend, you mean.
This implies that a person made a choice to date Steve. I doubt this is true. The only thing I picture is a lot of alcohol and a shotgun…
They should be ripped but not too fast to be caught eventually.
Everybody horny today! WOOHOO!@
This implies that a person made a choice to date Steve. I doubt this is true.
I think you missed the reference
Shorter Jonah Goldberg:
Another shorter from Hindyworld today:
Correlation equals causation and only idiot Dumbocraps don’t know it.
Also assumes facts not in evidence, namely that any idiot conservative knows the difference between these conditions, or between necessary or sufficient conditions.
No, these terms destroy the shit they say when they’re bitching about stuff. Therefore they avoid studying the actual meaning of them, or to adhere to the logical standards for which they stand.
Let me guess – your planning was done using a Risk board, wasn’t it?
Well, if it was the case, Steve would want to invade Central America through the Western United States, that would certainly have seceded from the Eastern United States. If he rolls two sixes, and that he previously has conquered Alberta, Quebec, Ontario, Greenland, Alaska, Northwest Territory, then the ensuing succesful attack against New York City will get him to get a bunch of reinforcement armies.
Not necessarily a bad move.
Shorter Jonah Goldberg:
Those were both excellent shorters. Well done.
I think you missed the reference
FUCK. I guess reading is fundamental.
That’s much funnier than the stupid shit I posted. Unfair.
Certainly not a “shithole” (except literally in areas in which no government has ever provided residence with a sanitation system), but desperately impoverished?
Yes, if you’re talking about its people rather than its urban middle classes.
A little over 1/10th of Mexico’s population are indigenous, i.e., native Mexican communities with very high rates of a first languages being native American and 2nd language being Spanish.
Of those 11 million people, roughly a little under 70% are “extremely impoverished”, i.e., have a hard time literally making enough money to supply basic needs such as substantive food and nutrients each day to replace calories and nutrients lost the prior day.
And those are averages. In the communities in which indigenous populations are heavily concentrated (the Pacific coast’s rural areas, for example), you might have half of the indigenous population with no income at all.
Formal employment (i.e., have a ‘job’) is probably held by roughly 6 out of 10 Mexicans in the labor force. The other 40% are mostly a combination of peasant farmers and participants in the ‘informal’ economy, i.e., street vendors, non-registered businesses, and the like.
Overall, about 17% of Mexicans live in that “extreme poverty”, meaning they earn between $50 and $70 per month.
And recently, the last chapters of NAFTA kicked in, ending the post-Revolution practice of subsidizing basic food staples for the poor such as tortillas and beans and dried dairy products, and also the end of favorable trade practices for the peasant farmers who grew / produced and traded these items.
Like the US, these impoverished peoples are concentrated in certain states and certain regions. So, again, in many ways national averages can be less-than-informative.
In the end, what’s important, though, is to build a big ass wall for 2,000 miles and make it a 100 foot tall with electric laser beams and have 30,000,000 US soldiers behind it.
It is true that we usually rank in top ten in any kind of “good life” measurements, but is that enough of an excuse to give traffic fines of 500.000€ for speeding to rich people who clearly have sacrificed so much?
Rich people should not have to pay for ANYTHING, ANYWHERE.
Any less is punishing success.
In the end, what’s important, though, is to build a big ass wall for 2,000 miles and make it a 100 foot tall with electric laser beams and have 30,000,000 US soldiers behind it.
NEEDS MORE SHARKS!!!!!
“Everybody horny today! WOOHOO!@”
Yer horny today? Unpossible. I don’t believe it.
It’s employment at least.
I find people using RTS game tactics as feasible tactics in real life conflict funny.
Yo estoy en su castello, matando sus dudes.
Considering we should not be taxing anybody, it’s hard to think how it will be paid for. Perhaps we could send the troops into Mexico first to loot and pillage, and then seal up the wall after they’ve come back with the loot.
The best way to get rid of illegals is to genetically modify BULL SHARKS to live on land and be able to tell who isn’t a citizen or green card holder.
[knock knock]
“Who’s there?
“Landshark.”
“What?”
“Candygram…”
Oooh…my first post in eight hours is a tagfail.
Correction: a massive tag fail.
Time for a reprise of engineer vs. architect.
N__B done broke the tubes!
Imagine a tagfail so big…
Time for a reprise of engineer vs. architect.
What architect could plan such elegantly aligned letters?
Ruh roh.
The sharks will also be trained to eat HTML tag non-closers.
DON’T FALL FOR IT!!!!
It’s not a Candygram! It’s really Italics!!!!
The sharks will also be trained to eat HTML tag non-closers.
I did close the tag. Oh wait…you probably meant “close properly.”
Most Mexican mayors are small-town mayors so perhaps he should be described as one of the numerous small-town mayors. Also, they probably live and work in relative obscurity, so perhaps: one of the numerous, unknown small-town mayors. Let’s see. They also can’t be said to have much political power, so unimportant might also be a defensible adjective.
You know who else never closed an html tag correctly?
…border provinces of Chiuawa, Sonorra…
Here’s a tip: They’ll be a lot easier to locate on the map if you can spell them properly. Otherwise, you’ll have to stop and ask one of the natives for directions, and he might point you toward Dallas, which would be really embarrassing when you break into what you think is the nerve center of enemy resistance and it turns out to be a Taco Bell.
“You know who else never closed an html tag correctly?”
Htmler!
Awesome.
I’m sorry – the answer I was looking for was Jonah Goldberg, who would have closed it correctly, but was on deadline. Also acceptable would have been Megan McArdle, who would have closed the tag if it were not for high marginal tax rates.
Steve, Steve, Steve. What’s wrong with you. Think,son! The only real solution is to invade and conquer everything from the southern border all the way down to the Isthmus of Panama. Then we will only have to build and man a wall about forty miles long. The money we save by building the shorter wall and using less manpower to maintain it will surely pay for the entire war. I even had Rumsfeld check my math, so it’s a certainty.
The situation of the porous border that one of you liberals describes would be solved by this military buffer zone which will be inhabited only by heavily armed and equipted military regiments. There will be no civilian settlements in the military buffer zone. This buffer zone would be officially classified as an unincorporated terrirory of the United States. It would be under military rule. Not a new state.
Any Mexicans seeking to illegally cross into the United States would have to first get through the military buffer zone and past the heavily armed American troops with orders to shoot to kill any Mexicans on sight.
Playing Starcraft is no substitute for geopolitical wisdom, Stevarino.
There will be no US capacity to militarily guard the entire border with Mexico, and there never will be, much less guard within Mexican states on the silly assumption that a declaration to shoot anyone on sight has ever cleared an entire geographic region of residents and migrants.
Any Mexicans seeking to illegally cross into the United States would have to first get through the military buffer zone and past the heavily armed American troops with orders to shoot to kill any Mexicans on sight.
Because “kill all the wogs” always works out well for the occupying power.
Playing Starcraft is no substitute for geopolitical wisdom, Stevarino.
Steve will totally zerg the border.
Ew, kill file thinks italic-Steve is a different, unkilled commenter. Too bad I have to go out to eat and miss his wisdom!
The Mexican inhabitants would all be foricable deplaced to more inland provinces. Once all Mexicans are offically accounted for is being outside of the military bufferzone, the defense of the terrirory would become a relatively simple task for the American military.
No Mexicans would be allowed to cross into the military buffer zone for any reason. Those who attemp to cross into the military buffer zone would be shot on sight by American troops stationed along the border of the military buffer zone with Mexico.
Htmler!
That was one for the vault.
I think the only “buffer zone” Steve is familiar with is his glans.
I think the only “buffer zone” Steve is familiar with is his glans.
Actually that’s the place where he stashes his pictures of Sarah Michelle Geller under his bed.
The Mexican inhabitants would all be foricable deplaced to more inland provinces.
On what grounds? What, seizing half their country back in the nineteenth century wasn’t enough? If you want a DMZ, carve it out of your own territory.
Oh, that’s right, I forgot… “property” not belonging to white American Christians exists is there to be seized. How silly of me.
Actually that’s the place where he stashes his pictures of Sarah Michelle Geller under his bed.
Buffin’ to Buffy?
What architect could plan such elegantly aligned letters?
Bite me, calculator boy.
The DMZ in Korea is only 160 miles wide, and is guarded just as vehemently from the North as well as the South side. Good luck getting Mexico to guard their side of the DMZ.
Once all Mexicans are offically accounted for is being outside of the military bufferzone, the defense of the terrirory would become a relatively simple task for the American military.
Teabagger rush! kekekekekekekekeke!
I did close the tag. Oh wait…you probably meant “close properly.”
Again, I worry about your attention to detail. It seems like it might be important in you line of work.
Of course, I am quite some distance away, so what the hell, whack away!!
YOUR line of work. Fuck, I am typing like an engineer today.
Of course, Stevie doesn’t specify where we’re supposed to get enough troops to cover TEH NORTHERM MESSIKO KILL ZONE, much less defend America AND pursue three major Asian wars (including of course the “Liberation” of Iran).
Htmler!
Awesome.
Oh, well expect THAT to show up in the next run of JanusNode names.
Go away, Steve. Seriously. You’re not even any fun to play with.
I miss Aggro Gary.
Wait, no I don’t.
At least Agrro Gary was vaguely funny.
Or Aggro Gary, if you want it to, like, make sense.
The border is 2,000 miles. 5,280 feet per mile means the border is 10,560,000 feel long. Assume 1 guard every 50 feet, means 211,200 guards at any given time. Three shifts means 633,600 guards, not counting any support, logistics, or officers. Since we have 456,600 enlisted people in the army, this ties up, well, everyone, and then some.
So we will need to recruit more soldiers. The lowest military pay is $16,068 per year, so that is at least 10.7 Billion (my calculator, unlike McMegan’s, deals with big numbers) in pay alone, each and every year. Add equipment to this.
Ladies and gentlemen, Republican numeracy in action. Hard to believe they screwed up Iraq with l33t planning skilz like these.
So we will need to recruit more soldiers. The lowest military pay is $16,068 per year, so that is at least 10.7 Billion (my calculator, unlike McMegan’s, deals with big numbers) in pay alone, each and every year.
Not if we hire illegal aliens!
Agrro Gary
if you roll the r’s, that would make it on-topic.
“Our military is tied down in Iraq and Afghanistan, with Republicans champing at the bit to invade Iran, too. Ya know what would be totally awesome? Starting another war with Mexico.”
Go away, Steve. Seriously. You’re not even any fun to play with.
He’s gonna take that Risk board with him, you know.
Not if we hire illegal aliens!
Hire zombizzles.
The lowest military pay is $16,068 per year
Solution: hire illegal aliens!
Damn! too slow.
He’s gonna take that Risk board with him, you know.
That’s okay. I keep a spare in my purse.
“Our military is tied down in Iraq and Afghanistan, with Republicans champing at the bit to invade Iran, too. Ya know what would be totally awesome? Starting another war with Mexico.”
I would support recalling all our troops immediately in order to punish Canada for Celine Dion.
Aggro Gary is riding his lawnmower to Spokane for to go all WOLVERINES!!!!! on tsam.
Damn! too slow.
not a good thing when there are zombies about. Or aboot, considering we will be invading Canada soon.
Also I can’t wait until the US troop desertions because they simply refuse the illegal crime against humanity of shooting civilians.
Particularly given the huge number of Mexicans and other Latinos staffing our military.
Between all military branches, there’s a little over 1,000,000 enlisted personnel.
It takes 5 – 10 logistics, support, and command personnel to support a soldier in the field. Therefore we need to field another 5 – 10,000,000 support & such soldiers.
Again, it would be much cheaper to hire the Chinese military to defend our Southern borders.
It would probably be much, much more expensive than turning Mexico into a satisfactorily developed economy such that their population could survive on an income there, but, hey, that’s like faggy and involves less of soldiers traipsing through deserts.
Also I can’t wait until the US troop desertions because they simply refuse the illegal crime against humanity of shooting civilians.
Not to mention how other countries would feel about said crime against humanity. I’m pretty sure they’d at least be cranky enough to stop talking to us for a while.
Is our friend Steve really this stupid?
Is our friend Steve really this stupid?
Yes.
It takes 5 – 10 logistics, support, and command personnel to support a soldier in the field. Therefore we need to field another 5 – 10,000,000 support & such soldiers.
well, that would solve the unemployment problem, if it wasn’t for the fact that “the government can’t create jobs”.
Also, it might require raising taxes.
Yes.
Thanks for that SASQ.
Also acceptable would have been Megan McArdle, who would have closed the tag if it were not for high marginal tax rates.
I think Megan would say something like, “I would have closed the tag but my keyboard doesn’t have a left angle bracket. Sigh. Such is blogging.”
Again, it would be much cheaper to hire the Chinese military to defend our Southern borders.
The tradition DOES require the fading empire to bring barbarian tribes in to defend the frontier in exchange for citizenship, just in time for the Huns to come riding in.
An astonishing percentage of Canadians live within fifty miles of the border, making their plans and massing to attack. We must invade to defend our freedoms. And, of course the whole Celine Dion and Wm. Shatner thing.
We’re gonna have to rename all my favorite foods, too.
Tortillas = Freedom Bread.
Tacos = Freedom Sandwiches.
Burritos = Freedom Manwiches.
Enchiladas = Freedom Entrees.
Fajitas = Freedom Lots-of-Stuff-inside-Freedom-Bread.
Margaritas = Freedom Beer.
Jessica Alba = Freedom Hottie.
Anthony Quinn = Freedom Awesome.
An astonishing percentage of Canadians live within fifty miles of the border, making their plans and massing to attack
No good blackguards have NUKULAR POWER PLANTS within fifty miles of the US border. You think those are for POWER, gullible lib?
(Actually, of course, the real reason we all live down here is that we’re huddling up to you for warmth.)
We’re gonna have to rename all my favorite foods, too.
Anthony Quinn = Freedom Awesome.
You eat Anthony Quinn?
Cheap Tequila= Freedom Water.
You eat Anthony Quinn?
well, just his branez.
Jessica Alba = Freedom Hottie.
Jessica Alba is one of your favorite foods? DAMN, I’M JEALOUS!
Also I can’t wait until the US troop desertions because they simply refuse the illegal crime against humanity of shooting civilians.
That is not unprecedented.
You eat Anthony Quinn?
Anthony Quinn is on my “I’ll Go Gay For” list.
Salsa = Freedom Sauce
Again, it would be much cheaper to hire the Chinese military to defend our Southern borders.
In all seriousness, you know what’ll happen if a future Republican government is actually fucked up enough to act on Steve’s patrol; it’ll go to the private sector. Blackwater and company.
Again, it would be much cheaper to hire the Chinese military to defend our Southern borders.
The Chinese would use the Fung Wah bus lines to move north. The logistics are already in place. Bookmark it!
Salsa = Freedom Sauce
Enchilada Sauce = Freedom Ketchup
At least Agrro Gary was vaguely funny.
Aguirro the Wrath of Gary.
The long arrows are back in style!
Sonora is a dagger pointed at the Heartland of America
Ah, someone who appreciates the classics.
The original (if memory serves) was the description of Korea as “A dagger pointed at the heart of Japan.” Kissinger’s “Chile is a dagger pointed at the heart of Antarctica” was a cover version.
The job of searching the Interlattice for non-ironic uses of this construction is left as an exercise for the reader.
Cumin= Uh… um… er… Freedom Caraway Seed?
Aguirro the Wrath of Gary.
As the kids would have it- L.O.L. I can imagine Gary on the raft, yelling “BOOKMARK THIS!!” to the monkeys.
Dagger-Heart Bingo!
Courtesy, wouldn’tyouknowit, of “The Editors of National Review Online“.
I can imagine Gary on the raft, yelling “BOOKMARK THIS!!” to the monkeys.
Actually, I have always imagined Troothy this way.
Huitlacoche= Freedom Smut
No mention of huitlacoche is complete with this link:
http://www.thesneeze.com/mt-archives/000344.php
WITHOUT this link. Fucking engineers.
I will answer all of you liberals concerns about the feasibility of such an endevor one at a time.
1. The question of troop desertions will be an easy one to solve. It is the same method used by armies for thousands of years of military history. The penalty for desertion will be the same that it was during the days of the Continental army. Death. Any soldier who deserts or otherwise refuses to carry out orders will be charged with insubordination and brought before a firing squad.
2. America has historically been a White European Nation, and by the grace of God it will remain so. All hispanics will be discharged from the military as only whites should have the priviledge to serve in so great an institution as the American armed forces.
3. All American troops and military bases overseas will be brought home. I believe in an America First foreign policy and that is how I would govern. Any war America engages in will have to be one that affects American soverignty or security. The Iraq war was a mistake. All American military bases overseas will be closed and the American militaries main objective will be the defense of Fortress America. In addition I would withdraw from the UN, Nato, WTO and any international organization as our Founding Fathers warned us of entangling alliances.
4. As for international opinion. I couldn’t care less what the rest of the world thinks. America is a Soveriengn Nation. We have the right to decide or own national and foreign policy irrespective of what the rest of the world thinks. Mexico has repeadly violated American national soverignty. Therefore war is indeed justified here.
I hope this gives you liberals an idea of what a “Steve Presidency” would be like. I am a Paleo-Conservative in the tradition of Our Founding Fathers and would govern accordingly.
I am a Paleo-Teabagger in the tradition of morons and would govern accordingly.
Fixhed.
We don’t want to know what a “Steve Presiduncy” would be like. We want to know why you’re not signing up for the army, ya goddamn teabagging chickenhawk.
Freedom Smut
I hope Smut stays free, I’d don’t think I’d go for a subscription.
America has historically been a White European Nation
yeah, except for all that time that they had a non-white population prior to invasion. Guess that’s not history, eh STEVE?
I tried to enlist in the army last summer. My plan was to join the 10th mountain division and eventually the U.S. Army special forces. But I was unforunately turned down because I’m on antidepressants. I have severe depression and need to take perscription medication for it. The military won’t allow anyone on perscription medication to serve, unfortunately.
3. All American troops and military bases overseas will be brought home
I agree. So we can SEND THEM OUT AGAIN IMMEDIATELY TO DEFEND AGAINST CELINE DION AGGRESSIVENESS FROM OUR NORTHERN BORDERS!!!
Look, if we can make a several million foot long fence along Mexico, building one on the north should be a snap. Plus, they need to be punished for pretending Moosehead is a premium beer.
Unlike a lot of the other things Steve eats (not our Steve, that Don’t Eat It guy) huitlachoche can be truly delicious and complex. I think dairy fat brings out its flavour best as in soups with cream (with crab or asparagus) or rajas con crema on sopes.
As a youth I worked on the farm, picking thousands of ears of sweet corn a day. We’d see huitlacoche occasionally and I wish I knew then what I know now.
I tried to enlist in the army last summer.
SUUUUUUURRRRRE you did, Sparky.
2. America has historically been a White European Nation, and by the grace of God it will remain so. All hispanics will be discharged from the military as only whites should have the priviledge to serve in so great an institution as the American armed forces.
Good fucking luck, shit for brains.
In the military, the “American” and “soldier” identities have trumped racial identity labels for a very long time. Back in the seventies, old school Marines used to say “there are no black or white Marines, they’re all green.” If you don’t believe me, go to a military-friendly bar, try to provoke or fuck with a black soldier, and see who the other soldiers back up. You think you can dischange hundreds and hundreds of servicemen simply for being the wrong skin color, and their white buddies who bled with them in Iraq and Afghanistan are just going to take it without objection?
Think again. The military was desegregated in 1947; the Great White Army you masturbate to every night died then and there. And it was a Democratic President who did it to you. Eat that, you fuck.
The military won’t allow anyone on perscription medication to serve, unfortunately.
Either that or they determined that having a man in the military who’d be willing to slit his comrades’ throats for not being white would be bad for unit morale. Or, you know, you could be lying. That too.
Think again. The military was desegregated in 1947; the Great White Army you masturbate to every night died then and there. And it was a Democratic President who did it to you. Eat that, you fuck.
oooh, that’s gonna leave a mark.
2. America has historically been a White European Nation, and by the grace of God it will remain so. All hispanics will be discharged from the military as only whites should have the priviledge to serve in so great an institution as the American armed forces.
Okay, so the army is currently 64% white. We established above that your “plan” required doubling the military, and here you want to cut it by a third.
BASIC MATH, MOTHERFUCKER! DO YOU SPEAK IT?
But I was unforunately [sic] turned down because I’m on antidepressants. I have severe depression and need to take perscription [sic] medication for it.
Patton knew what to do with people like you.
I think dairy fat brings out its flavour best as in soups with cream (with crab or asparagus) or rajas con crema on sopes
Having worked in several restaurants, I know I am better off not seeing food preparation or knowing where it comes from. I suspect I have eaten huitlacoche without knowing. and I don’t want to know. I’m good, really.
Prison wine, on the other hand….
Patton knew what to do with people like you.
Oh snap! That woulda left an even bigger mark.
and by the grace of God it will remain so.
Well, then you are SOL. No God, and no Grace. ESAD.
America has historically been a White European Nation
Slave trade = Honorary Whites.
Bite me, calculator boy.
Zombie foreplay.
Fucking engineers.
Obligatory
That’s funny, he’s on my “I’ll go necro for” list. Six of one, etc.
The military was desegregated in 1947; the Great White Army you masturbate to every night died then and there. And it was a Democratic President who did it to you. Eat that, you fuck.
And while you are crying over that, Steve, just think about this. Just think of all those non-whites who were able to get in, while you washed out. That sting you’re feeling right now? That’s America, diverse as your worst nightmares, proving that we are better than you.
Unlike a lot of the other things Steve eats (not our Steve, that Don’t Eat It guy) huitlachoche can be truly delicious and complex
I always get pissed off by those OMG WEIRD FOOD!!!! pieces. The people who write these never stop to think that the enzyme-curdled glandular secretions of bovines that they happily scarf down are just as weird as the fungi and invertebrates that other populations consume.
Plus, balut is great, and crickets have an interesting nutty flavor.
Fucking engineers.
How do they work?
I always get pissed off by those OMG WEIRD FOOD!!!! pieces. The people who write these never stop to think that the enzyme-curdled glandular secretions of bovines that they happily scarf down are just as weird as the fungi and invertebrates that other populations consume.
I do, too. I mean, there’s some stuff that I can’t handle, but I see that as a personal failing, not because different cultures are weird.
And I’d eat crickets over fucking McDonald’s any day.
Oh Keeerist! Steve is “Paul Mantarakis” whom Tintin banned for spoofing military service on Veterans Day.
http://www.sadlyno.com/archives/26622.html#comment-1001657
I always get pissed off by those OMG WEIRD FOOD!!!! pieces.
You should look at the Steve, Don’t eat It! archive. It’s not so much a Weird Food series as it is one man’s journey putting things in his mouth.
Hell, there probably are crickets in McDonald’s food anyway. And they’re probably the healthiest part, too.
one man’s journey putting things in his mouth.
Too easy.
Where’s Actor?
Where’s Actor?
Probably putting things in his mouth.
Oh Keeerist! Steve is “Paul Mantarakis” whom Tintin banned for spoofing military service on Veterans Day.
Same White European shit, same 10th Mountain Division, same inability to spell words of three or more syllables, same inability to do basic math. Think you called it.
oooh, that’s gonna leave a mark.
No it isn’t. I’m not the slightest bit serious. Except about the depression. That’s real. But unmedicated.
Except about the depression. That’s real. But unmedicated.
Well, that ought to solve itself in short order. Here’s a rope.
Unless, of course you are really a fellow traveler hippie satan-worshiping islamafascistozombie liberal hippie pinko traitor, slumming in your “Steve” persona. In which case, dude. We can help you find the resources you need.
At least Agrro Gary was vaguely funny.
The fact is no, really, he wasn’t.
As a youth I worked on the farm, picking thousands of ears of sweet corn a day. We’d see huitlacoche occasionally and I wish I knew then what I know now.
What was your response at the time? I remember instant revulsion, so much so that once I learned people eat it I was shocked me that anyone was ever willing to get it close enough to their mouth to discover it was edible.
America has historically been a White European Nation
European? How did it all the way over here? And where are my GOTT DAMN TRAINS?
Also: crickets got nuts?
Dumb guy is dumb. I’m talking to you, Steve.
You no doubt realize that a white fucking racist piece of fucking shit like yourself is severely outnumbered in the military, right? No, you didn’t realize that because you think the military is just like a John Wayne war movie. You’re a fucking idiot. Don’t insult our military with your racist wet dreams you fucking scumbag. In fact get the fuck OUT. Leave my country, douche. Nobody likes you. Nobody wants you. You suck at life. You’re a lying scumbag loser who obviously needs much more than anti depressants. Go the fuck away.
No, you didn’t realize that because you think the military is just like a John Wayne war movie.
Actually, he doesn’t realize it because he’s never been closer to the military than the Stormfront website.
Uh oh, ZRM.
David Corn (Mother Jones) just accused Obama of not watching zombie movies. He then went on to compare the Repukes to zombies, since you can’t reason with a zombie or expect rational decisions from one.
Olbermann remarked that they certainly do NOT eat brains.
I think you need to address this vicious slur against our zombie friends.
Hitler should have murdered his barber.
David Corn (Mother Jones) just accused Obama of not watching zombie movies. He then went on to compare the Repukes to zombies, since you can’t reason with a zombie or expect rational decisions from one.
Okay, look, I spend time plotting how to survive the zombie revolution all the time, and (look away, ZRM) it involves guns. But I would never EVER compare zombies to Republicans. That’s just unfair.
Although I’m pretty sure even the best stylist could have done much to improve the looks of that nasty little fuck.
There should be a negative in that sentence somewhere.
+1
And speaking of negatives: Hitler was short, had an extremely tiny penis, and walked like he had a stiff shit up his ass.
But enough about his good points…
But I would never EVER compare zombies to Republicans. That’s just unfair.
T&U is a Friend to Zombies.
But (an I am letting you all in on a Zombie sekrit here) there is such a thing as disinformation campaign, yanno?
Yah, Like DAVID FUCKIN CORN knows anything about zombies. Lemme know when you have info from Tobe Hooper.
Hitler should have murdered his barber.
teh more sober minded might say that the Barber (seville, Yanno?) should have murdered Htmler.
Ross Douthat is on the Colbert Report tonight. It’s gonna be sweet.
Except about the depression. That’s real. But unmedicated.
Good news! You can join!
Oh, yea, there’s the cowardice thing. Sorry about that.
teh more sober minded might say that the Barber (seville, Yanno?) should have murdered Htmler.
Little oopsie with the straight razor. Done and done. Mr. Mussolini, I believe you’re next.
Little oopsie with the straight razor. Done and done
Lunch is served!
Little oopsie with the straight razor.
Ah, Russell’s Paradox. The Barber murders all and only those men in town who do not murder themselves.
“Sit back and relax, Mr H. I’ll just tidy up around the ears, and take a little off the neck.”
Let me guess – your planning was done using a Risk board, wasn’t it?
This explains why the wingnuts are so obsessed with the Middle East. Stockpiling armies in the Middle East is key to defending Europe and Africa and preventing someone else from taking over all of Asia and getting 7 bonus armies each turn.
Also, I am choosing to believe that Steve is some lefty who was trying to make an important statement about Bigfoot Isreal and Palestine by using a US/Mexico analogy (Palexico) that went horribly wrong. Believing this will help me sleep at night.
You know how tiny Hitler’s dick was? Eva Braun was a lesbian, that’s how tiny.
Zombiez Izrael.
Aw, come on, Steve. Couldn’t we at least let some of our more bellicose and douchey USA Freedom citizens build settlements? Admit it, it would be totally cool to be a settler. You could build huge-ass walls and everything.
Couldn’t we at least let some of our more bellicose and douchey USA Freedom citizens build settlements? Admit it, it would be totally cool to be a settler. You could build huge-ass walls and everything.
We do that already.
Jonah:
The people who write these never stop to think that the enzyme-curdled glandular secretions of bovines that they happily scarf down are just as weird as the fungi and invertebrates that other populations consume.
Eating: Even ickier than sex. I don’t know how I go on day after day.
Gee, thanks Subby. Now I
canhave to put off dinner for a few hours.At least you can get food from someone other than DKW’s mom.
Eating: Even ickier than sex. I don’t know how I go on day after day.
Go zombizzle. we like the icky.
Dude, you are gonna hurt yourself doing that.
That’s right, the Koch brothers are pro-free-market simply because they’re unsatisfied with their billions. It couldn’t possibly be because they’re trying to make the country better, even a little.
Better for billionaires is still better, right?
Go zombizzle.
Nah. I have not moving down to an an art. Even shambling could interfere.
(Do you guys have to add “izzle” to everything? ‘Cause that’s too much work too.)
(Do you guys have to add “izzle” to everything? ‘Cause that’s too much work too.)
No. Izzle.
It couldn’t possibly be because they’re trying to make the country better, even a little.
Probably not. It could, however, be because they are amoral, grasping misanthropic greedheads. Just spitballing here. Kind of a razor thing, you know, Occam’s.
That’s just fizzled up.
Occam’s razizzle?
Occam’s razizzle?
this made me giggle. Which is a bad thing for a zombee.
The coda to that Jonah post:
And Troofie. Don’t Forget Troofie. Who ALSO had stories of joining the 10th Mountain. Although, if truly such a gung-ho sooper-dooper-trooper, one wonders why he doesn’t go on about joining the 82nd Airborne.
Cause he’s a dickless little bedwetter, that’s why.
I tried to join the military too but found out I was too batshit insane. Course, that was because I was starving for a job. I didn’t want to kick out everyone whose last name ends with an -ez. (Really, every Hispanic? Even non-Mexicans? Even White Hispanics?)
Lunch is served!
Ladies and gentlemen
May I have your attention,please?
Are your nostrils aquiver and tingling as well as that delicate, lushious, ambrosial smell?
yes,they are,I can tell
Well,ladies and gentlemen
that aroma enriching the breeze,
is like something compared to its succulent source
as the gourmets among you will tell you,of course.
Ladies and gentlemen you can’t imagine the rapture in store,
just inside of this door!
There,you’ll sample ZRM’s meat pies.savory and sweet pies,as you’ll see.
You who eat pies ZRM’s meat pies conjure up the treat pies used to be!
ZRM’s meat pies
That’s cruel. I’m sure his next model will be less Gehryish and therefore less meat pieish.
this made me giggle. Which is a bad thing for a zombee.
Ooh, sorry, hope you didn’t lose any bits.
That’s cruel. I’m sure his next model will be less Gehryish and therefore less meat pieish.
Silly. I EAT the meat. Then use the bones as structure.
Wait — the one with the hot CIA stripper wife?
Ooh, sorry, hope you didn’t lose any bits.
no, they’re all right there on the floor.
Hitizzle’s pizzle was fuzizzling tinizzle.
That was The Fool.
I wish it was that simple, unfortunately I can’t get off the antidepressants as it will make my depression worse. I am currently working for the FleetPride corporation as a delivery truck driver and am using the money to put myself through college.
I’m thinking about eventually becoming an archaeologist, as I am fascinated with history, especially American history and ancient history. Ancient Egypt was a very fascinating civilization, and they were White Aryans not the modern day Arabs. I’m will eventually get my Phd in archaeology and a job at a university or museum.
. I’m will eventually get my Phd in archaeology and a job at a university
Fucking parasite. Planning on living off the government tit.
Bizzles?
Hitizzle’s pizzle was fuzizzling tinizzle.
Gesundheit.
AH yes. FleetPride.
Steve,
When you’re writing your archeaology grad school application essays, be sure to mention that you hope to find a fossil of a Homo sapien astride a T. rex. You’ll be golden.
I wish it was that simple, unfortunately I can’t get off the antidepressants as it will make my depression worse
You said you were unmedicated.
I almost feel sorry for you. It must be hard keeping the lies straight, especially when you are not all that bright.
I’m will eventually get my Phd in archaeology and a job at a university or museum.
Steve, back when they told you you could be anything you wanted to be? They lied. Some jobs are for people who understand spelling, grammar, and logic.
Steve, back when they told you you could be anything you wanted to be? They lied.
I have come to accept that I will never be zombie-hunter. But it’s been difficult.
“said you were unmedicated.”
The one who wrote that was a name stealer, as they are legion here at SN.
I am on antidepressants as I mentioned earlier. And yes, I think I will make an excellent archaeologist.
And as for your suggestion earlier, I think I will keep my creationist beliefs to myself. That is until I am firmly established as a professional archaeologist.
I have come to accept that I will never be zombie-hunter
You know, I’m sure you have a lot better chance at being a zombie-hunter than Steve does at getting his doctorate.
Malaclypse, you’re a nice guy/gal/other. Or possibly all of the above, whatever.
I have come to accept that I will never be zombie-hunter.
Hah. It’s not as easy as Woody Harrelson makes it look.
It’s not as easy as Woody Harrelson makes it look.
What is?
For a while the Steve troll was an interesting foil with which to play on various right wing memes, but now it’s gotten to the point of being boringly silly.
I am currently working for the FleetPride corporation as a delivery truck driver and am using the money to put myself through college.
Get yourself a cushy tuck-driving contractor gig delivering toilet paper to G.I.s in Iran or Afghanistan. $100,000/yr., get some field experience in Middle-Eastern archaeology too. Two birds, one stone.
a name stealer, as they are legion here at SN.
The fact is, I’m gonna punch DrDick in his fat soft underbelly so hard that he is gonna let out a huge fart and pass out on the ground.
we are all Gary Ruppert now.
That’s right, the Koch brothers are pro-free-market simply because they’re unsatisfied with their billions. It couldn’t possibly be because they’re trying to make the country better, even a little.
Making the country better = social engineering = socialism = HITLER, that’s who!!! Kochsucking liberal fascists!
Occam’s razizzle?
LizzlOL
in his fat soft underbelly
Blue Oyster Cult trivia FAIL.
I have come to accept that I will never be zombie-hunter.
Can I have your tags?
The fact is, me and Steve will take all of you liberal pussies on!
We shall crush you! We will take turns pounding DrDick’s belly with a hammer. Then we will come for the rest of you liberal droogs!
Can I have your tags?
Looking for second-hand tag fail?
Droogs!
Come on, Aggro Gary is a *little* funny!
We shall
crushbury you!Fixed. If liberals can be fascists, surely conservatives can be communist.
Aggro Gary is a *little* funny!
Seen him with his pants off, have you?
The fact is, Hey truculent, why don’t you drop all of those effeminate liberal bitches and date a big, tough, macho man like me or Steve? Don’t you want a strong man that works for a living and can protect and provide for you?
Come on baby, give me some sugar.
The fact is, Hey truculent, why don’t you drop all of those effeminate liberal bitches and date a big, tough, macho man like me or Steve?
Yeah! Then she can watch Steve cry himself to sleep like a little bitch every time he forgets his antidepressants…
Dinner’s over, back to the salt mines.
Dinner’s over, back to the salt mines.
Can you dig me up some of that Pink Himalayan kind?
Looking for second-hand tag fail?
Well, then I can have all the amusement of a tag fail and none of the blame!
Come on baby, give me some sugar.
Eww. I take it back.
Seen him with his pants off, have you?
Ew, no. And even if I had, I’m pretty sure his gut would obscure my view. Thank god.
The fact is, come on baby, you know you secretly have a thing for conservative men. Ill toss your salad anytime.
Come on, Aggro Gary is a *little* funny!
OK, I admit it, I laugh. But then, I also laughed at the Amazing Race Melon-shot.
The fact is, come on baby, you know you secretly have a thing for conservative men. Ill toss your salad anytime.
Hee hee hee.
The fact is, come on girl let me butter your muffin.
Ill toss your salad anytime.
Conservative men eat vegetables?
Conservative men eat vegetables?
No, but liberal chix do! Aggro Gary runs rings around you logically.
You know, I think I liked it better when I was FuckulentandUnreliable.
No, but liberal chix do! Aggro Gary runs rings around you logically.
The fact is, Aggro Gary is smarter than I am.
It’s Bizzaro S, N!
Hello.
It’s Bizzaro S, N!
Did you grow a goatee and/or a mustache?
Because I did!
Did you grow a goatee and/or a mustache?
Yes, but not on my face.
Come on girl, how do you know that you won’t like either me or Steve unless you go on a date with one of us first?
You’ve never even seen what either one of us look like.
You’ve never even seen what either one of us look like.
heh. But we’ve all seen what you THINK like. and for us liberal intellectuals, the thinker is an important part of teh sexing.
So I’ve heard. Zombizzle here.
the thinker is an important part of teh sexing.
I knew that statue couldn’t be trusted.
Can you dig me up some of that Pink Himalayan kind?
Full disclosure.
Don’t judge me by my friends & associates.
I miss Pink Sugar.
Ohhhh, M, I remember the how to make pancakes one, too.
I knew that statue couldn’t be trusted.
He just watches.
The fact is, I know Steve, he is a good friend of mine. I am his personal bodyguard. I am trained in private security. After his career as an archaelogist, Steve plans to run for the Presidency and he has promised me the position of his Chief of Staff.
I will describe what we look like. I am about 6ft tall and I wiegh 210lbs. I am a weightlifter, currently benchpressing 275lbs in the gym. It used to be over 300lbs when I was taking creatine. I am bald. I shave my head completely down to the skin.
Steve is short, about 5ft4, but wirey and strong. He has slicked back black hair and is of Italian American ancestory.
Ohhhh, M, I remember the how to make pancakes one, too.
My excuse is I used to look at her log every day, & may have read/typed something about it at FMM. And I like pancakes. You remembering, that’s something to worry about. Assuming you don’t like pancakes a whole lot.
(That I remember you’re a gluten-avoider & probably not Teh Pancake Queen is disturbing too.)
Don’t judge me by my friends & associates.
I wouldn’t dream of it! Mine aren’t even that salty.
I miss Pink Sugar
Couldn’t be arsed beyond Google: Does she mean whatever that sugar substitute in the pink packets is?
First thought: McG linking to obscure eastern hemisphere death-metal (girl, maybe) group
I shave my head completely down to the skin.
shave it down to the skull and we’ll talk fake tough guy.
obscure eastern hemisphere death-metal (girl, maybe) group
I have interest. I need websites, perhaps newsletters.
You remembering, that’s something to worry about. Assuming you don’t like pancakes a whole lot.
Not really. I just remember that a) it was really fucking stupid, b) it was overly complicated, and c) totally pretentious.
(That I remember you’re a gluten-avoider & probably not Teh Pancake Queen is disturbing too.)
Well, I do complain about it a lot.
The fact is, so what do you think truculent? We sound like a couple of good looking guys, don’t we?
Okay, so I’m not really sure which way to go here, so…
I own a mansion and a yacht.
He is a New York City taxi dispatcher.
“Steve,” I said, “I know you’re wirey, but you seem particularly tense.” I began rubbing his shoulders. “Anything you want to talk about?”
“Not really,” Steve replied.
“Come on, ats-a-matta-you, eh?” I teased. Usually when I do the accent Steve at least cracks a grin, but this time he got mad and put me in a full nelson. SELECT A PAYMENT OPTION TO CONTINUE
The fact is, I made a mistake. Steve does have black hair, but he wears it in a fade now. He used to slick his hair back, however
I own a mansion and a yacht.
fuckin win.
I am a weightlifter, currently benchpressing 275lbs in the gym. It used to be over 300lbs when I was taking creatine. I am bald. I shave my head completely down to the skin.
Steve is short, about 5ft4, but wirey and strong. He has slicked back black hair and is of Italian American ancestory.
Is this not a letter to Playgirl?
SELECT A PAYMENT OPTION TO CONTINUE
Thanks for writing that, Doctorb. I was thinking of attempting it and would have done a crappy job.
Not only was Ross Douthat on the Colbert Report, somehow there happened to be a Reese Witherspoon joke in an early segment. Mere conincidence? I’m not sure if the word “chunky” or “chunk” was used in that segment…
using the money to put myself through college.
A truck driver going through clown college…why does this have such an Uncle Chester ring to it? You’re creepy, Steve.
The fact is, so truculent, you still haven’t replied. You could at least admit that you believe us to be goodlooking guys based upon how I have described us?
It’s Mary and Steve, not Gary and Steve, you faggot!
Gary, why are you still in your mom’s basement? You’re supposed to be on your way to Spokane to get shot in your fuckin’ face, homeboy. What’s the goddamned holdup?
The fact is, so truculent, you still haven’t replied. You could at least admit that you believe us to be goodlooking guys based upon how I have described us?
Eh, you could have acid burns or warts or something.
Plus, I don’t do meatheads. Or short dudes.
I will describe what we look like. I am about 6ft tall and I wiegh 210lbs. I am a weightlifter, currently benchpressing 275lbs in the gym. It used to be over 300lbs when I was taking creatine. I am bald. I shave my head completely down to the skin.
Are you pretty good with a bo staff? You want to join my gang?
I think the local Rethug blogger back where I used to live has finally gone and lost his mind
Evil Liberal devices, such a low flow showerheads, are intended to control our behavior, to slow us down, and to greatly diminish our productivity. I remain of the opinion that the time-wasting devices are simply a result of Liberals thinking the average American is too stupid to know when to flush a toilet, how long to stay in a shower, or how much toilet paper will be required.
A nemesis of the business traveler is the low-flow showerhead. These showerheads put out 2.5 gallons or less water per minute. The low flow of water, which is generally combined with a low water pressure, significantly prolongs the time it takes to wash off shampoo and soap. Halving the water flow may quadruple the time spent in a shower.
The guy was always moderately flaky — he worships Limbaugh like unto a god — but this is RenewAmerica-quality batshittery…
PROTIP, Gary.
Try a Smiths reference with her. Works every time.
What’s the goddamned holdup?
you mean, besides that he is a whiny, pants-wetting internet tough guy, trolling a liberal comedy bog because everyone else has killfiled him? With a Canadian Girlfriend?
Also, is Gary actually the Mall Ninja?
Evil Liberal devices, such a low flow showerheads, are intended to control our behavior, to slow us down, and to greatly diminish our productivity
not to mention desiring our essence, Mandrake.
Evil Liberal devices, such a low flow showerheads,
Low flow showerheads? What’s fucking next? Rail cars and gas chambers? Where’s the outrage? Will no one think of the children????? Where were the parents????
Try a Smiths reference with her. Works every time.
Am I really *that* easy?
I assure you truculent, that both of us have clean white skin. My skin is tanned from working in the hot sun and Steve is naturally tanned because of his Italian ancestory.
Steve,
I love you, man. Let’s buy an ’66 Dodge Dart, get the shit beat out of us at a Sparks, NV bar, and drive that fucker off a cliff!
I assure you truculent, that both of us have clean white skin. My skin is tanned from working in the hot sun and Steve is naturally tanned because of his Italian ancestory.
Oh, good. I need a new handbag.
A nemesis of the business traveler is the low-flow showerhead.
Productivity, down the drain, so to speak.
Shit takes longer than waiting in a security line to throw away a water bottle and take my shoes off and keep on walking with a ball point pen or a key filed down to a sharp edge.
Steve’s great-great-great-grandmother fucked a n-gger.
Am I really *that* easy?
No, but this is fun. That’s what you get for wearing that dress and showing up in the interwebz.
Steve’s great-great-great-grandmother fucked a n-gger.
Did that start out as insult about Sicilians? If so, I LOVE that movie.
The fact is, come on baby you’re not giving either one of us a chance. I meant to say clear white skin btw. What kind of a guy are you attracted to?
Can you honestly tell me that based upon how I described our apperances, that we don’t sound like goodlooking guys?
Oh, good. I need a new handbag.
HA! BURN! HA–PUN!
geez. I must really need another beer, huh?
Oh, good. I need a new handbag.
Oh, that was nice. I would say I love you, but don’t want to venture into actor territory.
What kind of a guy are you attracted to?
SHE LOVES ZOMBIES.
your only option is to kill yourself. Go out in the garage and get busy with the hose. After that, it’s all in Roger Corman’s hands.
Oh damn you tsam.
Gary needs validation
I will describe what I look like. I am about 328 ft tall and I weigh 60,000 tons. I am an atomic-powered prehistoric monster, currently breathing deadly jets of nuclear fire. I used to use trains as improvised nunchucks when I was taking LSD in my coffee. I am bald, covered in scales, and have stegosaurus plates down my back. I don’t have to shave my head because I’m an atomic-powered prehistoric monster.
That’s what you get for wearing that dress and showing up in the interwebz.
Sorry, tsam, I don’t swing that way.
you can’t have too much Young Ones in a comment thread, that’s my zombie attitude.
The fact is, girl you know you would like to date a big macho guy like me. Ill take you out to a nice fancy resturant. My boss Steve does pay me good money to be his bodyguard. You would like me girl, trust me. We’ll go out to eat, Ill have my hand on your butt, which is what I always do to girls, even on a first date.
Afterwards we’ll take a ride to my gun club and enjoy a few beers with my gun club buddies at the bar. Trust me, you’ll have the time of your life.
“I will describe what I look like. I am about 328 ft tall and I weigh 60,000 tons. I am an atomic-powered prehistoric monster, currently breathing deadly jets of nuclear fire. I used to use trains as improvised nunchucks when I was taking LSD in my coffee. I am bald, covered in scales, and have stegosaurus plates down my back. I don’t have to shave my head because I’m an atomic-powered prehistoric monster.”
And I ride you like the cheap fucking dinosaur slut that you are. In the creationism museum. Beotch-izzle!
I will describe what I look like. I am 5 foot 11 inches tall, with moss in my hair and a pale, gassy green skin. My hair is crawling with maggots, and one of my eyes is missing. Of course, my toe and fingernails kept growing, so I keep up on mani/pedis!
walk slow, shambling isn’t as easy as you think. Plus my bone is the biggest one I could find in the ‘Yard, but I was buried with a fair amount of black guys, so you KNOW I did all right…
I don’t do meatheads
Meathead is murder!
Sorry, tsam, I don’t swing that way.
But this is a brilliant trap for brain laden victims. I’d suggest you try this tactic.
“I will describe what I look like. I am 5 foot 11 inches tall, with moss in my hair and a pale, gassy green skin. My hair is crawling with maggots, and one of my eyes is missing. Of course, my toe and fingernails kept growing, so I keep up on mani/pedis!”
And I ride you like…Ewwwwwwww!!!!! WFT dude, personal hygene!
I can’t remember. Are we mocking the mockery of the memory of a troll, or mocking the mockery of a parody troll who mocked the original, or just mocking idiots in general?
Can someone throw a flowchart up in the shizzle?
Osama Brain Laden?
First!
or just mocking idiots in general?
I think it’s free-for-all mocking.
I’ve been meaning to ask – do smart people’s branes taste better, or worse, or is there some other factor that determines how yummy branes are?
Well it depends on how they are prepared.
Osama Brain Laden?
Ha! Perfect. Fits nicely with the conservative notion that having brain means you hate America.
Teabagger branes are like McDonalds. greasy, overly-salted, not very nutritious, and you hate yourself after you eat them.
“#
Blaco said,
September 29, 2010 at 6:16
First!
Damnit Blaco, what’s your secret? You’re like the Mentalist or something.
having brain means you hate America.
of course, EATING brains means you hate Canada.
I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.
I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.
Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets. I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I’m bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hand gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.
I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don’t perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal force demonstration. I bat .400. My deft floral arrangements have earned my fame in international botany circles. Children trust me.
I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradies Lost, Moby-Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish and entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.
I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four-course meals using only a Mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.
Or short dudes.
A nation weeps.
Yeah, when and where’s the kick back up a level?
“El Cid said,
September 29, 2010 at 6:31
I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to …” etc.
Blah blah blah. Get a life.
The JanusNode thanks you.
The fact is, truculent, I am waiting. All I ask is if you think that me and Steve are goodlooking based upon how I have described us?
I don’t think people here would have a problem with Steve admitting that he found Gary good looking.
It would probably be better off for Gary & Steve to find other romantic spots to meet other than SN!, but you start where you can.
Perhaps gay Midwesterners are not accustomed to the sorts of environments in which they don’t have to hide their man-love.
All I ask is if you think that me and Steve are goodlooking based upon how I have described us
to me, you sound like douche-canoes with an over-inflated sense of self, bad haircuts, and small dicks.
But hey, you didn’t ask me, right? Doesn’t change the size of your dicks though.
If we can provide an environment where the occasional right-wing gay Gary or Steve can find sanctuary, our efforts aren’t for naught.
(Hmm – ” our efforts aren’t for naught.” seems to have a touch of teh gay…let me work on that a bit.)
I don’t know if this is within the rules, but if we invade Mexico, can I call dibs on Cabo?
I don’t know if this is within the rules, but if we invade Mexico, can I call dibs on Cabo?
Hey, if he gets Cabo can I have Mendicino?
Between “RECONQUISTA OMFG@!!!” and the Cordoba House thing, WTF is it with teabaggers and “losing territory to TEH EMENEY”?
You know who else had a TWO FRONT WAR?
Celibate troll is celibate.
You know who else had a TWO FRONT WAR?
Besides the United Snakes, now, you mean?
I just want to know, are Gary and Steve a couple of Iowa corn packers?
.
.
.
Public service announcement: I’ll be going dark for a bit. Not to worry, see y’all in a while.
I’ll be going dark for a bit.
Boehner tan?
A bit? In a while?
Now I am worried.
Also, lie-berry stuff to irk T&U, & any others who care to be irked.
“Once you go dark you never go snark?”
Not quite. Quark? Fark?
My boss Steve does pay me good money to be his bodyguard.
Is that what rentboys put on their resumes nowadays?
Bodyguard/luggage handler who doesn’t actually push the cart.
Bodyguard/luggage handler who doesn’t actually push the cart.
At least not with his hands.
All depends on what you mean by “cart” and “hands.”
All depends on what you mean by “cart” and “hands.”
And “push.”
Jeffrey Lord strikes again.
So many levels of FAIL.
Jeffrey Lord strikes again.
I liked him better on Hawaii 5-0.
So many levels of FAIL.
Do “Yale values” include master keys so that the school custodian can get into your locker?
It’s somebody’s birthday today. I won’t say whose, but her name starts with “v” and ends with “slayer”. I, I mean, she likes kate spade handbags and sparkleponies.
Plus, I don’t do meatheads. Or
short dudes.guidos.Scott sounds hot though. If he’s also a cross-country skier and I can bounce pennies off his tail, well… Call me when Tokyo’s been destroyed!
As for cost saving devices like CFLs and low-flow showerheads, I can’t think of why hotels would put them in EXCEPT FOR LIBERALISM!
It’s somebody’s birthday today. I won’t say whose, but her name starts with “v” and ends with “slayer”. I, I mean, she likes kate spade handbags and sparkleponies.
Vuffy the Bampire Slayer likes sparkleponies? Who knew?
She’s obviously getting a Kate Spade Sparklepony-skin handbag, then. Whoever she may be.
It’s OK, you can tear the wrapping paper. Many happy.
“She’s obviously getting a Kate Spade Sparklepony-skin handbag, then. Whoever she may be”
Shhh. Don’t tell the kids how they get Sparklepony-skin.
Oh, you’re SICK, MBouffant!!
Don’t listen to him, Buttercup.
You know who else had a TWO FRONT WAR?
I don’t know that, but I do know that only the emperor, in the kingdom of fools fights a war on fourteen fronts.
VS, for your birthday present, I give you the suggestion that you stay away from Sadly, No for a while. Steve and Gary have been making vulgar propositions to T&U. Now you’re here, I’m sure they will widen their ambitions and it would be a shame to have your birthday ruined by some innuendo about somebody’s shaven head.
I can’t think of why hotels would put them in EXCEPT FOR LIBERALISM!
Lower hydro bills are the V-2 missiles of liberal fascism.
Actually, hide, not skin. It’s late.
Re-printed in its teatardy, lack of self-awareness entirety, a letter in todays Austin American-Statesman:
“After the last election, it’s time to rethink just who is eligible to vote in this country. Our founders didn’t think everyone should vote, only those who owned property — because they knew property owners were responsible, law-abiding citizens.
Through the years, attorneys and politicians have cheapened the right to vote. The younger generation, with its “American Idol” mentality and immaturity, should never have been given the right to vote. The entitlement mentality of many who come to our country for, let’s face it, entitlements, will never vote for anyone who will not continue to feed their greed.
Enough! Those of us who take pride in being citizens need to change the elitist attitude in Washington. The ruling class is destroying the American dream for the vast majority of American citizens.
It’s time for a real change.
Carole Hawkins”
From, presumably, a woman. You younguns won’t remember it, but Johnny Carson had these people pegged perfectly, when he parodied them replete with plaid hunting jacket and Elmer Fudd hat.
Tee hee. I saw that upthread. I’d say poor T&U but she strikes me as someone who can hold her own with these asshats.
Me, I find them HILARIOUS. A few unintentional laughs for my b-day? Yes, please!
Oh, that was nice. I would say I love you, but don’t want to venture into actor territory.
That’s okay. It *was* pretty awesome.
The fact is, girl you know you would like to date a big macho guy like me. Ill take you out to a nice fancy resturant.
Sorry, Gary, I don’t dig on the Sizzler.
T&U…strikes me as someone who can hold her own
I! W? N? Pix?
I don’t dig on the Sizzler.
In this thread, that’s the Sizzlizzle.
Also, lie-berry stuff to irk T&U, & any others who care to be irked.
*sigh*
You know what? Let’s just privatize everything. EVERYTHING. Juses.
“You know what? Let’s just privatize everything. EVERYTHING. Juses.”
And outsource. Let’s have a privatized military outsourced to the Chinese. What can possibly go wrong?
On my commute to work today I ended up behind a Prius covered with neocon bumber stickers. I thought, holy cow! I’m behind eco patriot west.
On my commute to work today I ended up behind a Prius covered with neocon bumber stickers.
I would suggest that the owner thought he was buying a Priapus, but neocons don’t do bilingual jokes.
he has promised me the position of his Chief of Staff
Obvious Penis Reference.
This proves that Sarah Palin is hte most beloved Christian G-D has EVER created.
M. Bouffant said,
September 29, 2010 at 5:11
I used to look at her log every day
Get ur toilet fixed!
Well I drove to the airport, waited four hours plus in the ‘Courtesy’ lot, drove two hours home in a tropical downpour, got a few hours of feverish sleep and this thread’s still going? Might as well get back to smut.
To answer tig’s question:
There are lots of gross things on a farm and we were teenagers. Corn smut didn’t even rise to the level of revulsion, in fact we noted that it smelled like a combination of mushrooms and corn and threw it away. When I first had it in Mexico I recognized it right away.
TO: Gary
RE: Hitting on T&U
Sadly, No!
So…
Pretty much Tintin running the place these days?
Where are the rest of Teh Sadlies?
Fake Gary in his Mack Gary persona fails as much as Donald Douglas fails with hip-hop slang.
MOFO CRACK PIPE:
http://americanpowerblog.blogspot.com/2010/09/obama-loves-gangsta-rap.html
Where are the rest of Teh Sadlies?
I wondered that too – Tintin is doing fine holding down the fort alone, but I miss some of the others. Brad went off to – where was it, AlterNet? I wish him well but am happy enough that he’s not posting freakout pieces here as the election approaches.
Gavin, HTML, DA, et al – dunno.
I used to look at her log every day
Get ur toilet fixed!
I snorted.
Gavin, HTML, DA, et al – dunno.
I bet Aggro Gary has punched them.
TO: Gary
RE: Hitting on T&U
Sadly, No!
Well, he can continue hitting on me all he likes, but I don’t think he’s going to get the outcome he wants.
Unless he’s into being mocked mercilessly.
DA still posts here from time to time, and also writes at a tech site, and Leonard Pierce is here.
Entertainment:
http://tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com/2010/09/ambush_filmmaker_okeefe_tried_to_punk_seduce_cnn_r.php?ref=fpblg
Unless he’s into being mocked mercilessly.
Well any attention is desired attention, amirite?
Well any attention is desired attention, amirite?
Yeah, part of me feels bad for giving him what he wants, but I can’t help it. I like to bat little micies around.
From Sub’s link:
James O’Keefe, the young conservative activist who secretly recorded meetings with ACORN and was convicted in May of entering Sen. Mary Landrieu’s office under false pretenses, allegedly tried to “punk” CNN reporter Abbie Boudreau by luring her on to a boat and seducing her.
Might have work too, if Ms Boudreau was the kind of woman who’s into Tim McVeigh-lookalikes.
Or it might have worked as well
A nemesis of the business traveler is the low-flow showerhead. These showerheads put out 2.5 gallons or less water per minute.
Jerry: Low flow? I don’t like the sound of that!
http://tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com/2010/09/ambush_filmmaker_okeefe_tried_to_punk_seduce_cnn_r.php?ref=fpblg
“The document was apparently written by Ben Wetmore, another activist who hired O’Keefe a few years ago and offered his place as a crash pad for O’Keefe and three others when they illegally entered Landrieu’s office dressed as phone repairmen.”
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Now, granted, I knew this dude 15 years ago, but Wetmore wouldn’t be the first person I’d nominate to write a seduction script, but whatever.
That sentence sucked. I was just far too amused.
Ambush Filmmaker O’Keefe Tried To ‘Punk,’ ‘Seduce’ CNN Reporter
He needs to buy a new face first. Also too brain, body, personality…
He needs to buy a new face first. Also too brain, body, personality…
Yeah, a new face that doesn’t tell people: “I tortured small animals in my childhood.” would improve his social situation.
The fools. She would’ve gotten on the boat if they had gone with Marvin Gaye.
He needs to buy a new face first. Also too brain, body, personality…
If Dimbart or one of his other sugar daddies buys him a cross-country skier’s body, there may be confusion.
Aggro Gary ‘n Steve?
You decide.
You mean, it’s RAAAAACIST!! to be snarkin’ dat POTUS BE DOWN WID DE FATTY BLUNTS AND MENTHOLS, MOFO CRACK PIPE AND GANGSTA RAP?
Yes, Donalde, you are indeed racist. Thank you for providing additional evidence.
Seriously, who looks at that picture and puts it up as evidence that they are not racist?
Stormfront has more of a clue than Donalde.
Stormfront has more of a clue than Donalde.
I have more respect for them, too. At least they’re not fucking deluding themselves that they’re anything but racist douchebags.
Seriously, I am so sick of these people who think that doing anything short of calling someone a n*****r (and not even that, sometimes) means that they’re Not Racist.
Maybe now CNN will inform its viewer that O’Keefe did not appear in ACORN offices dressed as a pimp.
If Dimbart or one of his other sugar daddies buys him a cross-country skier’s body, there may be confusion.
If Breitbart could afford to buy a cross-country skier’s body. methinks that particular purchase won’t be seen outside the confines of Andrew’s boudoir.
Seriously, I am so sick of these people who think that doing anything short of calling someone a n*****r (and not even that, sometimes) means that they’re Not Racist.
At some point, we should stop saying the Right is using dog whistles when they’re actually using air raid sirens.
If Dimbart or one of his other sugar daddies buys him a cross-country skier’s body, there may be confusion.
He’d still need the face/brains/personality, ass-penny bounceability is NOT ENOUGH.
ass-penny bounceability is NOT ENOUGH
It’s a good start, though.
Donalde claims to be an educator. He “suggests” to students that they read his blog. I wonder how the 76% of them that are not white feel about that picture. I’m sure they can be confident that he is grading them fairly.
Our Dutch allies have just elected a new rightwing coalition government. The new government is looking to salvage their culture by restricting immigration. And by the grace of God they will suceed. I only look on with a combination of heartfelt pride for our common White Christian Culture and hope that Our Nation will soon adopt similar immigration policies.
http://www.dutchnews.nl/news/archives/2010/09/new_coalition_investigated_tou.php
I only look on with a combination of heartfelt pride for our common White Christian Culture and hope that Our Nation will soon adopt similar immigration policies.
You should be sure to mention this when you apply to grad school in archaeology. It will help your application stand out.
Our Dutch allies have just elected a new rightwing coalition government. The new government is looking to salvage their culture by restricting immigration
Can we still get hashish in the Amsterdam coffee houses?
ass-penny bounceability is NOT ENOUGH.
These guys find change in their asses/couches all the time, but I doubt they bounce.
An astonishing percentage of Canadians live within fifty miles of the border, making their plans and massing to attack. We must invade to defend our freedoms. And, of course the whole Celine Dion and Wm. Shatner thing.
They say that on nights, just like this one, if you’re really quiet and live on the border of Canada and America, you can hear the sharpening of ice skates.
There are many great rightwing political parties in Europe, many of which put our own Republican party to shame. In Italy for example, there is the Lega Nord, a Northern Seperatist party that is pro White Christian Civilization and anti-immigrant/islam. The party’s leader, Umberto Bossi has recently said that I’talian troops should open fire on boats carrying Somali refuges to Italy”
I wish we had a politician like Umberto Bossi here in the States. We need leaders with a zeal for our traditions, culture and values. Europe is ahead of us in this regard.
I wish we had a politician like Umberto Bossi here in the States. We need leaders with a zeal for our traditions, culture and values
I’m here for you, Steve sweetie!
If Obama weren’t so uppity, these people wouldn’t be forced to be racist. Look at his infamous chin tilt; he brings it on himself.
Europe is ahead of us in this regard.
The fact is, we here in the Heartland know that Europe is a bunch of socialist weenies, and God, Guns, and Guts made America the best place on earth. Steve is a god-damned socialist, and I’m sorry I let him touch me in my secret places.
The new government is looking to salvage their culture by restricting immigration
Can we still get hashish in the Amsterdam coffee houses?
The atheist, drug-using, sex-worker-having, welfare state culture is what they’re trying to salvage.
I’m here for you also, Steve sweetie!
Show us on this doll where he touched you, Gary. No,no…your heart doesn’t count.
Oh, Hell No!
He … he touched me in my 10th Mountain Division. He touched me in my Heartland. He even bookmarked it!
Ok, I laughed out loud.
Show us on this doll where he touched you, Gary. No,no…your heart doesn’t count.
I feel slightly guilty for laughing at this.
Also, happy birthday, too. I suggest this for your birthday.
Okay, if Stevie-boo is a parody, the routine is getting really goddamn stale.
And if he’s not, I recommend a nice series of ECT, as soon as possible.
The Heartland wishes you a happy birthday, VS, you godless lieberal.
TheGayPatriot said,
September 29, 2010 at 18:47
I’m here for you also, Steve sweetie!
You stay away from my Steve, you hussy. Steve honey, you can bounce a penny off my ass anyday!
“I feel slightly guilty for laughing at this.
Also, happy birthday, too. I suggest this for your birthday.”
Thanks!!! I’m a tad embarrassed by how much I want that now.
Pamela Geller said,
You stay away from my Steve, you hussy. Steve honey, you can bounce a penny off my ass anyday!
You’re not Christian, you trollop! I’m saving myself for Zombie Ilsa, She-Wolf of the SS.
Thanks!!! I’m a tad embarrassed by how much I want that now.
I want the whole quark series. And the spacebat.
“The Heartland wishes you a happy birthday, VS, you godless lieberal.”
Tell the Heartland I said “Hey.”
Sorry my fellow Sadly Nosians, there is something I must confess to you.
I made up the Steve parody. The jokes on you! I had you guys going for a while there, didn’t I?
I think my Steve parody has been the funniest troll around here in along time.
Tell the Heartland I said “Hey.”
HEEEEEEEEEY!
Even though I’m an occasional poster here at S,N!, I would like to wish you a Happy Birthday, vacuumslayer.
Goddamn, there are some assholes in this Balloon Juice thread.
*fuming*
I think my Steve parody has been the funniest troll around here in along time.
As funny as the funny syphilis.
Is that a Florida in your pocket or is the Heartland just happy to see me?
Thanks, Nym!
Yeah, there are. Ugh.
I dare any of you guys to come up with a better troll.
Yeah, there are. Ugh.
Especially that El Cid guy. I doubt that’s even his real name.
I think my Steve parody has been the funniest troll around here in along time.
Was it funny when you told me you loved me more than Ann Coulter? Was it funny that I left Gay Patriot for you and your sweet nothings? Was it funny when I let you through my Gates of Vienna? The fact is, we in the Heartland know funny, and you, sir, are no Gallagher.
I dare any of you guys to come up with a better troll.
My troll got VS to laugh on her birthday.
It was the “bookmarked it” that broke me.
for her bithday we made this list for VS.
Happy Birthday VS!!!
For you: Sparklelord!
http://drmcninja.com/archives/comic/15p65 (may have posted this before)
As funny as the funny syphilis.
The kind your ex gets from the person she left you for?
Here’s a pony for you, VS. Happy bday.
I got through! This site has refused to load for me all day up until just now.
And now that I finally get here, I have nothing to say.
“Pamela Geller said,
You stay away from my Steve, you hussy. Steve honey, you can bounce a penny off my ass anyday!”
A fellow could go broke trying that.
Holy shit. Little Ponies even have cute skeletons. Thank you!
Donalde is cute when he’s angry:
The racist card is dead. And the Obama-Gangsta-Demo-Socialists will be dead November 2nd. (And as an aside, I’m not happy you’re sending attack trolls to my comments to call me a racist. Call them off.)
Irony is dead. Racism? Not so dead.
VS – WP ated my witty and sparklepony-filled happy birthday message. So, no happy birthday for you.
Hey now, Mysticdog. That is NOT my kind of sparklpony. My sparkleponies are little and cute, possibly covered and glitter and like to frolic in fields of daisies.
(But, seriously, thanks! :D)
Hippo birdie two ewes, VS.
Well screw you too! I keed…thanks for da totally N_B-esque b-day wishes!
I made up the Steve parody. The jokes on you! I had you guys going for a while there, didn’t I?
Liar. It was me.
Anyway the rest of this comment is about a bicycle.
Here’s a pony for you, VS.
Awwww. If that was an original My Little Pony, I’d totally get it.
The kind your ex gets from the person she left you for?
It may be a Buffy the Vampire Slayer reference – from a personal favorite mini-rant by Xander.
A suspicious pony.
+ speaking of Slayers, happy birthday to miz Vacuum.
Hey now, Mysticdog. That is NOT my kind of sparklpony. My sparkleponies are little and cute, possibly covered and glitter and like to frolic in fields of daisies.
(But, seriously, thanks! :D)
Well, even sparkleponies go bad sometimes…
He was a fun character… he also was Dr McNinja’s motorcycle so they could fight King Radical, who is essentially the Buger King king. I’m amused even writing that 🙂
Felicitations upon the anniversary of your natal day, VS.
from a personal favorite mini-rant by Xander.
I have to find that. I’m not remembering it.
And the Obama-Gangsta-Demo-Socialists will be dead November 2nd.
Better start tracking fertilizer sales now, then.
I have to find that. I’m not remembering it.
End of the Dracula episode – first ep of season 5.
Better start tracking fertilizer sales now, then.
I’m telling you – smells like 1994 all over again.
From the article:
The plan, which Santa confirmed was real, had a list of “props,” including a “condom jar,” “dildos,” sexy music (like Alicia Keys, as Marvin Gaye was dubbed “too cliche”) and a camera on a tripod, which the filmmakers dubbed “an obvious sex tape machine.”
I would have loved to see this, with O’Keefe in the set only to be encountered by that guy from “To catch a predator”.
That would have been Epic.
Happy Anniversary of Your Birth v______slayer.
The plan, which Santa confirmed was real, had a list of “props,” including a “condom jar,” “dildos,” sexy music (like Alicia Keys, as Marvin Gaye was dubbed “too cliche”) and a camera on a tripod, which the filmmakers dubbed “an obvious sex tape machine.”
Thank Cthulhu they put “dildos” in scare quotes.
obvious sex tape machine
Band name!!!!!!!!!!
This one goes out to Donalde.
Hi, I’m looking for a copy of “Troy Dorsey” by Obvious Sex Tape Machine…?
O’Keefe tries to frame a jounalist:
Stay on the scene like an Obvious Sex Tape Machine!
Obvious Sex Tape Machine makes X look like The Sweet.
O’Keefe really should not do slash-fic. Seriously, that’s worse than the Gary Ruppert/Steve slash was.
Tbogg:
O’Donnell/O’Keefe 2012!
If Tintin does requests, photoshopping this headshot of Donalde onto this picture really does seem called for.
O’Donnell/O’Keefe 2012!
The “O No!!!” ticket!
The “O No!!!” ticket!
More like the “O NO THEY WONT!” ticket.
O’Donnell/O’Keefe 2012!
Some achieve abstinence and some have abstinence thrust upon them
Thanks for the b-day wishes and little ponies, everyone. It brightened my day. Group hug!
There’s some funny Breitbart butthurt in the comments on this Drew Friedman piece:
http://www.drawger.com/drewfriedman/?article_id=11378
Group hug!
As long as no one touches my special place.
It’s nothing special.
Gondwanaland makes Pangeia look like Lemuria.
It’s nothing special.
At least it’s not 50% off, like SOME PEOPLE.
Hey, I never said any of you could touch me on my heartland. Come on. Let’s keep this group hug platonic.
That is a LOW BLOW, I do not like to be reminded of it, and it’s not my fault that some exhaust pipes are sharper than I would have expected.
I do not like to be reminded of it, and it’s not my fault that some exhaust pipes are sharper than I would have expected.
It’s explaining the rust that strains credulity.
Group hugs are a vile temptation to iniquity.
You know who else liked group hugs?
Group hugs are a vile temptation to iniquity.
Bewitching, isn’t it?
You know who else liked group hugs?
Hugtler?
You know who else liked group hugs?
Any hug by K-Lo counts as a group hug all by itself.
As long as no one touches my special place.
People, stop thrusting your abstinence upon N__B.
I’m saving my hugs for Mitt. He’s so dreamy!
Oh, look, another reason we need to attack Iran. Whoopie.
Hugtler?
Why did this cause a spittake?
At least it’s not 50% off, like SOME PEOPLE.
People usually say congratulations when hearing a person’s lost that much weight.
There’s some funny Breitbart butthurt in the comments on this Drew Friedman piece:
http://www.drawger.com/drewfriedman/?article_id=11378
Oh dear. Picking a fight with a vitriol-penned cartoonist. Never a wise move.
Dancing with the Stars “Boo-gate”? Seriously, does EVERYTHING have to be a -gate? Haircutgate, pretzelgate, wipegate, really? Are we seriously likening these things to Nixon using the power of the presidency to subvert democracy?
I’m really kind of tired of this. Folks hollering about former part-term Governor Palin is not a “-gate”. It’s … the Hollercaust.
O’Donnell/O’Keefe 2012!
The “O No!!!” ticket!
I was thinking more like Oh SHIT!!! ticket.
Pere Ubu owes us all a liquid of some kind.
Pere Ubu owes us all a liquid of some kind.
Do Not Want!
Dancing with the Stars “Boo-gate”?
I was saying “Boo-urns!”
“I was saying “Boo-urns!”
I’m just gonna say it: ROFL
Happy B-Day, VS!
At great personal sacrifice, I will (reluctantly) give you any one Thoroughbred from my several legions of elite My Little MechaPony™ commandos.
Choose one (1) of the following: Lippazon Annihilator, Undead Zombie Unicorn Of DOOM, Shetland Hell-Beast, Clydesdale Leviathan, Cyborg WerePony, PonyZilla, Stealth-Pegasus, Demonic Horse-Beaver-Platypus-Wallaby-Gerbil Hybrid.
Awww yeah, Truculent ‘n’ Unreliable, have I told you how wonderful you are? When I am with you, I feel like a whole new James. Since the judge has requested I not contact you directly, I have opted to discuss your fineness through this comedy blog.
I know we have known each other for only two weeks, but I already know you are the girl for me. If there is any doubt in your mind as to what time it is, let me break it down for you: It is time for you to get O’Keefed.
Ever since I became friends with one of your friends on Facebook, I knew you were the one for me. Your style, your booty, and your class are beyond all compare. In a world populated with many fine women, you are without a doubt the most fine. Allow me to describe how the date you will go on with O’Keefe will transpire:
First, I will pick you up from your house in a white limousine and we will go to the finest gun club in the city. I will be dressed in an extremely stylish velvet suit with a handsome broad-brimmed hat. In the hat is a feather taken from the finest bird. You will be wearing something revealing but tasteful, which I will leave to your own preferences. The gun club will be full of attractive people with impressive gun skills, but we will be the most attractive, and all will admire our grouping and accuracy.
When you have had your fill of shooting firearms, I will take you by the hand and lead you to the most romantic corner of the entire club and sit you down on one of the plush, red-velvet couches. While you rest, I will go the bar and purchase a drink for you. Before I bring it back to you, I will taste it, demanding finer gin should it fall short of my expectations for you. Also, I will bring one of those coasters that detects drugs so you will not have to concern your pretty head about the O’Keefe using less than honorable methods of sexing you. Because you are far too special for that.
Damn, girl.
While you sip your drink, I will stroke your hair and tell you such complimentary things as “You are like a fine statue carved out of the finest marble,” and “Your eyes are like pools of creamy Italian butter,” and “You have beautiful shoes.” You will know that I mean these things because they come from the heart, and the heart is always true.
At this point, we will go back to my boat, where I will prepare a gluten-free dinner specially suited for a lady as lovely as you. I will play some music on my hi-fi stereo system — not “Let’s Get It On”, for truly fine women are rarely moved by clichés — but a specially selected mix of the finest songs available, beginning with “There Is a Light That Never Goes Out,”. Although I can sing this song beautifully, I will refrain from doing so. While I am cooking the meal, which will feature succulent lobster from the finest and most expensive sea, we will talk about your life, your hopes, and your dreams. At this point, I will unthaw a deluxe bag of jumbo shrimp for you to sample as the appetizer.
There will also be cocktail sauce.
There will also be cocktail sauce
SteveT&U, don’t eat it!Later I will introduce you to what I like to call Miles O’Keefe.
There will also be cocktail sauce.
With gluten, no doubt. Cad!
While I am cooking the meal, which will feature succulent lobster from the finest and most expensive sea,
How does one assess the price of a body of water?
Heh, I said “body”
Be careful, O’Keefe. You might make Gary Ruppert so enraged with jealousy that he’ll leave his mom’s basement to hunt you down.
There’s some funny Breitbart butthurt in the comments on this Drew Friedman piece:
Speaking of that Friedman cover, it needs to hang on my wall. No, I mean my entire wall.
CNN’s response to James O’Keefe’s attempt to jump the shark with a dildo in one hand and and a pair of fuzzy handcuffs in the other.
http://mediamatters.org/mmtv/201009290020
James O’Keefe said,
September 29, 2010 at 23:45
I’m calling not fake James O’Keefe here. Change your locks T&U.
I imagine O’Keefe’s pick-up line would have been:
“Hey, baby, ever make it with a rat-faced rat fink?
As I stated earlier, the dinner is gluten-free. This includes the cocktail sauce, of course, which is made with agave, Cristal, and the most expensive horseradish, imported from the finest overseas horseradish-growing region. We will enjoy the cocktail sauce while listening to David Bowie, the Decemberists, and the Tams and discussing Information Technology, Communication Technology, and Sex Technology. I will show you my collection of props, which includes a condom jar and a quote “dildo”, which is used for instructional purposes.
The dessert, not to give away too much, is a flourless fair-trade dark chocolate torte, topped with a ganache made of even finer chocolate, for which the farmers are paid embarrassing sums of money and receive full medical and dental, although the dental plan has a high deductible. As I feed the torte to you, I will whisper sincere compliments about your attractiveness and sexitude, and describe the many ways I intend to bring you to freakstasy.
jumbo shrimp
Having some difficulty with this concept here.
James O’Keefe has an “inner sanctum”
If it’s a link from Substance McG, and if it involves some stranger offering to “show you his Adytum”, DO NOT CLICK.
What was the point of O’Keefe’s stunt anyway? More than likely the CNN story would have fallen into some typical mainstream media template that, ultimately, would have given him MORE legitimacy than he currently has, so why not meet with the reporter and polish your story and appear like a reasonable and professional guy. Why pull some weird crazy game? Was it simply projection on his part, that he thought Bourdreau would pull shennanigans on him simply because he can’t imagine anyone doing anything else?
Seems naive, and weird that he would assume she would do anything more challenging that asking him what books and newspapers he reads.
In addition to being a mysogynist creep, and possibly a criminal, the guy seems seriously paranoid.
I will show you my collection of props, which includes a condom jar and a quote “dildo”, which is used for instructional purposes.
That’s what Breitbart told you anyway.
“Hey, baby, ever make it with a rat-faced rat fink?”
“Sniveling little rat-faced git” is the prefered term here.
h/t Monty Python
What was the point of O’Keefe’s stunt anyway?
The point is that he is not rational. His ACORN “exposé” actually wasn’t any more rational than this latest stunt, but when the idiot media went along with it, and ACORN was laid low over absolutely nothing, his actions were validated.
Since then, he’s been arrested for the Mary Landrieu stunt, his buddy Brietbart fucked up the Shirley Sherrod “sting”, and now O’Keefe has revealed himself as a creepy sexual predator. This is a disturbed amateur fuckup who was given a very false sense of security by his ACORN success, and now we’re just seeing do what fuckups do.
Since then, he’s been arrested for the Mary Landrieu stunt, his buddy Brietbart fucked up the Shirley Sherrod “sting”, and now O’Keefe has revealed himself as a creepy sexual predator. This is a disturbed amateur fuckup who was given a very false sense of security by his ACORN success, and now we’re just seeing do what fuckups do.
If we were talking about a normal person here, I can see where some of the information about this case could scream “over the top” and “obvious set up” to the casual observer.
But since this is about O’Keefe, yeah, I’m pretty much taking this at face value.
For quite some time, O’Keefe believed that Abbie Boudreau was the special lady for him. Her hair, her booty, her award-winning journalism, all made me think of her as the perfect someone to spend the rest of my life with, doing it doggy-style. But as time went on, I started to realize that there were some things going on in that blonde head that the O’Keefe could not be down with. For one thing, her “investigative” reporting resulted in millions of dollars worth of household goods being given to the welfare cheats and handout-seekers in New Orleans, rather than being warehoused and eventually making their way to people who deserved them. Her hit piece on American soldiers (“Killings at the Canal”) made me think that she might just be another blame-America-firster who got into journalism to kick the good guys when they were up, and also to kick them when they were down. And for another thing, she refused to go on a date with me, even after I promised that I would not try to make her dress up as a prostitute. But what really soured the O’Keefe to this otherwise fine lady is that rather than refuse in person, she had Wolf Blitzer threaten to beat me up.
Now, of course, I could take Wolf Blitzer in a fair fight, but I would be worried about harming his beard, which is like the pelt of the finest snow leopard.
While I did intend to seduce Abbie, I was not about to allow her the full O’Keefe experience. My plan was to show her how much she wanted, no, needed to be with me, and then to explain to her that she had thrown away her one chance at freakfillment and would most likely never find another man who could satisfy all her senses, the way the O can. This would all be captured on the finest hi-def video, so that I would be able to freeze-frame at the exact moment where her heart breaks, because she treated the O so badly.
The video would also be posted at Breitbart’s blog.
Hahahaha! No my liberal friends, that wasn’t Bitter Scribe. It was me spoofing him. I’m afraid he is far too dumb to come up with a persona like me. Let me tell you a little bit about the real “Steve” which isn’t even my real name. I have been here at SN for along time now. Since the summer of 2007. I have gone by many different names. I am a real conservative, who has plans for greatness one day. Someday I will be President. Then, only then will you know my true identity.
I am your worst nightmare. I villian from the darkest recesses of your mind. And yet I am a righteous man. A Christian. A blood bought follower of Jesus Christ. But to you liberals I am a dark and sinister villian, a primeval terror if you will. As it is written “woe unto those who call evil good and good evil.” I will bring America back to her former glory. One of God and Patriotism.
I have been here under many names. I will reveal them to you in order of their apperance. Joe, Saul, Walter Ferguson, Bastion Booger, Chris St.James, Rugged in Montana, Matt McMahon, Homosexuals are aids monkeys, Erik Pontoppidan, Robert White, Lord Gary Ruppert, Lord Harry, Jeffersonian Republican, Dale Gribble, Harry Chestmuscle, Commander of the Scottish Contingent During the First Crusade, Paul Mantarakis, Arthur McGregor, New England Redneck, Cliff Crook and my latest incarnation Steve.
And I will be back under a new identity and many more after that. I am The One. That is my identifying mark. The One shall be here until the end. Why am I spending time on a liberal comedy blog you ask? The answer is quite simple really. Because I love to piss off liberals.
Until we meet again.
Well, at least you weren’t Nascar McHeartland.
Clearly James has attended The E$zra Klein School of Seducing Prog Pussy.
If we were talking about a normal person here, I can see where some of the information about this case could scream “over the top” and “obvious set up” to the casual observer.
But not necessarily anyone connected with CNN- after all, they did consider Irk Irksome “serious” enough to hire.
The dessert, not to give away too much, is a flourless fair-trade dark chocolate torte, topped with a ganache made of even finer chocolate, for which the farmers are paid embarrassing sums of money and receive full medical and dental
Hmm, that IS pretty hot.
although the dental plan has a high deductible.
Oh, so close. NEXT.
Why pull some weird crazy game?
Wierd, crazy, CHILDISH game. Who thinks that plot would work on anyone out of middle school?
Also, I am shocked — shocked! to learn that Saul “the Sabbath ends at midnight” was not a real rabbi.
Because I love to
piss offbore liberals.fixed that for you.
Steve is the many faces of Teh Stupid.
But as time went on, I started to realize that there were some things going on in that blonde head that the O’Keefe could not be down with.
Thoughts
The video would also be posted at Breitbart’s blog.
Big Dildo
I am The One. The One will be here at the end. The One was here at the beginning. Although it’s not mentioned, I was present in the Garden of Eden, before the first woman was made. Back in the good old pre-PC feminism days. Of Adam and Steve.
have been here under many names. I will reveal them to you in order of their apperance. Joe, Saul, Walter Ferguson, Bastion Booger, Chris St.James, Rugged in Montana, Matt McMahon, Homosexuals are aids monkeys, Erik Pontoppidan, Robert White, Lord Gary Ruppert, Lord Harry, Jeffersonian Republican, Dale Gribble, Harry Chestmuscle, Commander of the Scottish Contingent During the First Crusade, Paul Mantarakis, Arthur McGregor, New England Redneck, Cliff Crook and my latest incarnation Steve.
Oh, no. Not Rugged in Montana! I liked him. I haz a sad now.
(he left off Shoelimpy.)
“Why am I spending time on a liberal comedy blog you ask?”
‘Cause you’re a sad, sad waste of human life?
“The answer is quite simple really. Because I love to piss off liberals.”
Huh, I would have guessed my answer.
Oh noes, we are so pist. Off. I am so angree it makes me mad
Thanks, Big Bad Bald Bastard. I just got off the phone with Andrew and I’m going to have a regular column at the new site Andrew Breitbart Presents: Big Dildo.
If we were talking about a normal person here, I can see where some of the information about this case could scream “over the top” and “obvious set up” to the casual observer.
But not necessarily anyone connected with CNN
Truly a Mystery for the ages.
” I was present in the Garden of Eden, before the first woman was made. Back in the good old pre-PC feminism days. Of Adam and Steve.”
That’s hot.
Pay attention to meeeeee
My real screen name is Limp Dick McQuick.
Why am I spending time on a liberal comedy blog you ask?
Because you were kicked off of every discriminating bestiality website on the intertubes?
The answer is quite simple really. Because I love to piss off liberals.
I’m sure that “liberals” and “piss” figure prominently in your fantasies.
“The fact is, we here in the Heartland know that Europe is a bunch of socialist weenies,…”
Gary, why is it always about weenies with you?
Vacuumslayer, I hate to sound rude and condescending, but you have no idea what hot is. Hot is what it’s like to be with the O, flying over the city in his white helicopter and listening to the White Stripes on my fine in-helicopter sound system. You can’t even hear the propeller thing. While my pilot flies the helicopter I will be pointing out the finest sights and landmarks, and regaling you with tales of how I got nasty in most of them. It doesn’t matter which city, by the way — the O has thrilled ladies from coast to coast.
I will direct the pilot to land the helicopter atop the finest and most expensive skyscraper, where I will treat you to a succulent meal of the sexiest foods and beverages available and discuss photomanipulation, and I will reveal to you that it was I who created the original quote “helicopter shark” photo, which will impress you. There will also be a rotating observation platform.
Truculentandunreliable, I am deeply sorry that you saw what I wrote to vacuumslayer. But you will forgive me for the wrong I did to you, because you know that I am truly sorry and that I didn’t mean any of it. You know that I am thinking only of you, and that I will decorate the floor of your home with the finest rose petals.
The only time the O is happy is when he’s thinking of you, baby. Don’t you see?
Confidential to vacuumslayer: we are still on for the helicopter thing, girl.
“Your style, your booty, and your class are beyond all compare. ”
This is not untrue.
…the O has thrilled ladies from coast to coast.
I’m sure they found restraint difficult. Hence their need for restraining orders.
There are those who will claim that James O’Keefe is merely an attention-seeking troll, but they don’t understand the full complexity of the O. They don’t know what it’s like to be a hard-hitting investigative reporter, video editor, and telephone tamperer by day and a world-rocking, booty-hitting ladies’ man by night. They only see the glamor and excitement, but what they don’t see is the tremendous amount of work involved in making sure, for example, that my pimp disguise is true to the exacting standards of 1970s blaxploitation films. Nor do they know what I have to go through to make sure that my special champagne contains only the finest Roche brand Rohypnol imported from the most expensive pharmaceutical plants in Germany, and not some generic flunitrazepam that just anyone could use.
They also say that I don’t really care for you, and that I am sexing another woman even as I describe the delights I will provide to you. Technically, they are correct about the second part, but girl, I am so sorry I sexed her wild that night when I should have been sexing you. I am so serious about being sorry that I am prepared to do anything to win back your love.
…the O has thrilled ladies from coast to coast.
Well, despite the fact that I’m a little disillusioned about him, I still am thrilled that President Obama was elected.
Hey O’Keefe,
When even Brent BoZaius calls you out on the size of your clownshoes, you know it’s past time to close shop:
http://newsbusters.org/blogs/brent-bozell/2010/09/29/bozell-denounces-okeefes-ugly-dishonest-and-filthy-stunt
What’s with the sudden influx of tl,dr trolls?
I know I’ve told this story before, but I’m still a little proud that I broke one of these guys’ hearts when I was 16.
Also, he clearly had mommy issues.
What’s with the sudden influx of tl,dr trolls?
Actor left a void. They’re trying to get in my pants.
Wait….that didn’t come out right…
“vacuumslayer said,
September 30, 2010 at 0:41
Clearly James has attended The E$zra Klein School of Seducing Prog Pussy.”
Oh, fuck me. I’m redundant.
Yes my liberal friends, The One shall return. My Presidency shall be one of traditional morality, economic prosperity and National pride. Patriotic Americans shall live in peace and prosperity under my rule. However, the communists, homosexuals, illegal aliens, the ungodly shall experience a reign of terror unlike any the world has seen.
I shall leave you liberals in a state of suspense until I return.
The One
I know I’ve told this story before, but I’m still a little proud that I broke one of these guys’ hearts when I was 16.
Whatever your contribution was to the furtherment of lulz in this matter, my sincerest thanks, T&U!
Whatever your contribution was to the furtherment of lulz in this matter, my sincerest thanks, T&U!
You’re welcome. I felt bad at the time, but NO LONGER!
Also, he sufficiently humiliated me in return. Sociopaths start young.
“Americans shall live in peace and prosperity under my rule. However, the communists, homosexuals, illegal aliens, the ungodly shall experience a reign of terror unlike any the world has seen.”
Ok, but what about the Irish?
Brent Bozell, or should I say Leo Brent Bozell the third,knows a lot about ugly and dishonest. Because he is both of those things. He is only distancing himself from the O for two reasons: first, because with my good looks, natural charm, and perfect six-pack abs, standing too close to me makes him look even more like an elderly orangutan, and second, because other people think my plan was offensive. It has nothing to do with dishonesty, of course, because the MRC did not unequivocally condemn my pimptastic and harmless ACORN prank.
But the main reason, the third if you will, is that the O got mad freaky with Bozell’s wife, real nasty style, first clothing her in the finest silk lingerie from the most tasteful but erotic lingerie designers, then proceeding to rub her with scented massage lotions and embrocations, and finally hitting her doggy-style until sunrise, and now she is unsatisfied with his fumbling, unimaginative, and embarrassingly rapid missionary-style lovemaking, and Bozell hates the O for this. To which I respond, don’t hate the playa, Boze, hate the game. Or better yet, you should up your game. The O doesn’t go around seducing the finest and most appealing middle-aged ladies to ruin their sex lives — he does it to show them how hot and nasty life could be. Think of it as an opportunity to better yourself.
You know who else unleashed a reign of terror on communists and homosexuals, right?
Big Bad Bald Bastard, if there is any way in which I am “tl” it is in my pants, which are made from the finest of fabrics by indentured workers in Saipan. And rest assured, when I do get around to freaking your lady like she truly wants to be freaked, she will just call you “Bad Bald Bastard”.
If you see what I’m getting at.
Shalom, gentlemen.
I shall leave you liberals in a state of suspense until I return.
zzzzzzzzzzzz…*snore*
O’KEEFE! You bastard! I write you a seduction script for that CNN Bubble Headed Bleach Blond Bimbo and you thank me by trying to make the moves on MY WOMAN?
I called DIBS on T&U back in HIGH SCHOOL! DIBS, man! If you can’t respect something like that, what’s the point of even being a conservative. Besides dressing up like a pimp. You might as well be some tree-fucking COMMIE-HATER if you don’t respect DIBS.
I have not carried a copy of Mein Kampf around in this nylon briefcase all these years for nothing, you know. That fine, fine, woman is totally crazy about me. From my huge shapely head, to my winning smile, she has never been able to resist my charms. You hear me T&U? I still know where you live.
I thought we really bonded when we were at that gay pride rally holding signs that said “Free Abortions.” James. And then this.
See if I come for sleepovers anymore.
Jerk.
Hey. Let’s all just cool down, have some Bartles and James, and see where the evening takes us.
I’m so confused now. Was Bitter Scribe all the trolls, always? Were there never any real trolls? I’ve been wasting all my primo snark on Bitter Scribe, all this time? What of The Fool (the pro torture, up-on-the-backstroke guy with the hot CIA stripper wife)? Was he Bitter Scribe, too?
Is this what the sacred tradition of trollery has come to? Are the shades of Sadly, No! to be thus polluted?
Ben, dogg, you wrote me that seduction script on spec, and it was only this morning that I realized that all the best lines were cold plagiarized from Don Henley songs. Plus you know the O doesn’t work from a script. I’m all about improvisation, like John Coltrane or Kenny G, except my style of music is “getting freaky” and also my instrument is my dick.
Still, we’re buds, and it was a trip running into you at that rally — remember how we were both so surprised to see the other there, and realized we’d made the same decision to go ironically, and then we made those fake protest signs? Those were the days, huh?
Anyway, I think T&U seems like a fine, fine lady, and if you want the O to back off, the O respects that. Bros before hos, non?
And by hos, I of course mean “hot outstanding sweeties”.
We cool?
Soooo, how long do restraining orders last, anyway?
Could this be our very own Tintin, trolling the David Icke forums?
http://www.davidicke.com/forum/showthread.php?s=eaceaeb436b89d442eec6e05eb2ac089&t=11956
how long do restraining orders last, anyway?
You cannot reasonably expect the dog to remain sitting for more than ten minutes after you give the command.
Could “neon” really be “noen”?
It would be irresponsible not to speculate!
This is how I find out you are two-timing me James? On a Blog? Mother always said you were only after one thing, but I didn’t listen.
How am I supposed to face the other Cryptozooilogicals now, James? Nessie is going to be such a bitch about this. “I’m sure you’ll find someone else, even at your age.”
Goddamn it, James. You know what? I’m gonna go find that nice Josh St.Lawrence boy who is always following me around. He seems nice, if a little stalkerish.
I bet he won’t leave me for some liberal hussy.
The fact is, Truculent is my woman. And if James O’Keefe and Ben Wetmore don’t back off I’m gonna break both of their necks!
Come on Truculent, I’d love to roll you in vanilla and lick your soft tender body. I want your big lucious booty in my face. I will treat you the way a beautiful young lady should be treated.
Vacuumslayer, it is indeed refreshing when a lady of such fineness as yourself is also willing to be the voice of reason. For you I will travel to the most exotic liquor stores and gas stations int the world, rating each one on its cleanliness, quality of product, and how dedicated each employee is to pleasing the most beautiful woman who ever lived. Then, I will tally all three columns of numbers into a master score for each location. At the store with the highest total score, I will purchase a selection of the finest flavors of Bartles and Jaymes, including Fuzzy Navel, Body Shot Lime, and Original. Strawberry Cosmopolitan will also be an option, if they still have that one.
Once I return with these wine coolers, I will serve you one of your choice from the finest gold-plated, jewel-encrusted pimp cup. You will enjoy the complex malt and high-fructose corn syrup flavors while inhaling the aroma of fine, fine diamonds, and I will describe to you how beautifully you consume beverages. When you have finished, I will offer you another selection, or the same if you prefer.
Rohypnol will also be served.
The doorbell will ring, and my good friend Ben will arrive with his date Truculentandunreliable. Ben will bring a box of the finest Franzia, and possibly also Ann Althouse, who has expressed an interest in getting superfreaky with the O and Ben, Eiffel-tower style (that’s what Ben and I call it when we double-team a fine, fine lady, and high-five each other at the same time).
We will all sit around my fine velvet conversation pit, smoking the finest pot from the most exotic province of Mexico. I will not pressure you or say anything inappropriate, but within about half an hour of your first drink, you will find yourself overcome by my charm, my sophistication, and my erotic energy. Also the Rohypnol. And girl, you will do things with me and Ben and Ann Althouse that you have never seen, not even on the most implausible reality porn websites in the most uninhibited parts of the internet.
I will treat you the way a beautiful young lady should be treated.
May involve preservatives.
I’m allergic to vanilla.
No surprise that Gary advocates vanilla sex.
Gary, it is you who will back off, because you know deep down inside that you got no game. For example, you don’t seduce a fine, discerning lady like Truculentandunreliable by calling her booty “big”. Her booty is a beautiful and classy one, deserving of adjectives like voluptuous, or better yet, callipygian. In addition, few if any ladies want to be “roll[ed] in vanilla” — do you mean vanilla extract, which is liquid, or vanilla beans, which are large, and would not really cling well to her, the way her diaphanous gown clings damply to her callipygian booty?
Ben, I’m sorry bro, but I think I’m going to have to break it off in your woman before I return her to you. To do otherwise would be unfair to her, and it just wouldn’t do for the O to be unfair to his bro’s lady.
Man, I post a interesting link in what looks like a dead thread, only to find out I hit an erupting trollcano.
I’m going to have to break it off in your woman
I understand that squid use a similar detactable feature.
The fact is, out of all three of us, Truculent likes me the best. I am a big, strong, macho man. 6ft tall and 210lbs of solid muscle. I can bench press 275lbs and am a gun owner and personal bodyguard to The One.
Truculent will be my girl. I am gonna slap her booty and it will be shaking until Christmas. She has a big, plump, lucious booty, which is just how I like it.
Is there a Center Left Grrrl revival in the werkz?
Never, ever give a troll a thesaurus as a gift.
Vacuumslayer, it seems that for reasons which are too complicated to go into here, I have an excess of gluten-free vanilla puddin’. Ordinarily this would not be an issue, but in this case it is not merely the quality of the puddin’, which is of course the finest, but the quantity that is of some concern. Specifically, I have two hundred and forty dollars’ worth of puddin’.
Now I know what you’re thinking: “James O’Keefe, where did you get two hundred and forty dollars’ worth of puddin’?”
Shhhhhhhhh. Don’t worry your pretty head about it; it ain’t your concern.
I know it’s short notice, but I’d love to invite you over to my boat to meet my good friend Debbie Schlussel. She may look and sound sort of like that Rachel Dratch character, but the lady knows her way around puddin’ like nobody’s business. So my thought is, you should come over and I’ll open some chilled Martini and Rossi Asti Spumante, which I will serve to you in a Solo cup made from the finest red plastic, and then I will referee a three-falls wrestling match between you and Debbie, set in two hundred and forty dollars’ worth of puddin’, and then we’ll see how the evening goes.
You will also need to sign an injury waiver; it’s required by my insurance policy. It’s just a formality and is full of legalese mumbo-jumbo, and is definitely not a video release form or anything like that.
Could this be our very own Tintin, trolling the David Icke forums?
“Trolling” that forum would consist of making reasonable, logical arguments.
Christ. WTF is going on over there?
c. avoid Marvin Gaye as too cliche
What is going on? indeed.
The fact is, I’m gonna lick strawberry sauce off Truculent’s butt.
You know, Gary, you sound like a very macho man. Every man wants to be a macho, macho man — to have the kind of body always in demand. Believe me, I know what it’s like, all the attention, wanted and unwanted, and all the strenuous activity that being a macho man entails: jogging in the mornings, working out in the health spa. But like you, I also know what makes it all worth it: you’re ready. Ready to get down with anyone you can.
Gary, you say you can bench press two hundred and seventy five pounds, and if that’s true, I’m impressed. I work out myself, of course, but the O doesn’t give out numbers, for a variety of reasons. We should hang sometime and spot for each other. But what I’m getting at is, two hundred and seventy-five pounds of free weights is all well and good, but how would you handle two hundred
and forty dollars’
worth of puddin’?
I have a couple of fine ladies on there way over, and the puddin’ is all chilled and ready. Just like me, it cooks, then it chills. Now there are few pleasures in life that two hundred and forty dollars’ worth of puddin’ can’t enhance, and ladies’ wrestling is certainly not among them. But what if, Gary, what if, these two fine ladies, the O, and your two hundred seventy five pound bench pressing self were all to get crazy, Andy Kaufman style? Tag-team mixed wrestling in two hundred
and forty
dollars’ worth of puddin’.
The O encourages you to give it some thought. The puddin’ is gluten-free, also.
I’d love to roll you in vanilla
Gary originally wrote “flour” but edited it at the last moment.
You know, I’m seeing James O’Keefe…but I’m sensing Patrick Bateman.
I’d love to dredge you in flour, dip you in beaten eggs, and breadyou in a mixture of panko, salt, pepper, and sesame seeds. I will then pan-fry you to a beautiful golden brown on both sides. When you have reached an internal temperature of 160 degrees, I will eat you with grilled fava beans and some black-fruited ’05 Querceto Classico Riserva.
I loved him in Arrested Development.
Relevant to Andrei’s interests.
Lookit all the dancing badgers!
Where?
I don’t know what’s in this, but DAMN!
Did I tell you you could have one of my whippets? No, bitch. Back off.
I might have missed it — did Gary & Steve finally fuck, or are they still doing their endless flirting?
It’s worse than that. It seems Steve may have been fictional all along. I’m kind of broken up about it.
Clearly James has attended The E$zra Klein School of Seducing Prog Pussy.
Not the Alf School of Seducing Pog Pussy?
I might have missed it — did Gary & Steve finally fuck, or are they still doing their endless flirting?
It’s worse than that. It seems Steve may have been fictional all along. I’m kind of broken up about it.
The fact is, in the Heartland, we fuck fictional people all the time.
The fact is, in the Heartland, we fuck fictional people all the time.
Gary, call me…
Um, that ain’t puddin’.
A very happy birthday, VS.
Consider this an open thread.
Squirrel PENIS.
Irony is dead. Racism? Not so dead.
Indeed http://pajamasmedia.com/richardfernandez/2010/09/29/all-tied-together/.
All the people squealing “you can’t prove the teabaggers are racist!” should look at anything they’ve ever said about the Middle East. Unfortunately, you can’t point that out without being called a Muslim sympathizer, which (due to America’s current levels of racism towards those particular folk) carries too high a penalty for most politicians to risk.
To their credit, quite a few of them have had the courage to stand by the Muslim American community anyway.
So, “Quisling” is good and all, although is it really an insult to a person who is objectively pro-fascist? I’d maybe change it to “We need Charles Martel. What we have is Pippin.”
Chizzle Martizzle ain’t no quizzizzle, yo!
Call me a limp-wristed Chuck Martel, but this is why I love the French.
Only 1097 comments to go until 1846.
42. Fletcher Christian
I assume this is Adam Yoshida under a pseudonym. The style is familiar.
Of course, “Fletcher Christian” is an anagram for “Farce Hitler Snitch”, so I think we can all agree on what that means.
When TSHTF I’m hangin’ with Andrei
Thanks, Sac (can I call you Sac?). I’ll eat you last.
“When TSHTF I’m hangin’ with Andrei”
Good call; I imagine you’ll eat well.
Or perhaps, be well eaten.
Here’s looking at you, kid!
Hey bro, I eat sugar and piss alcohol – In the mad max world I’m your best friend.
“Sadly No!” should be sued for commenter neglect. With the money I get, I’m going to buy a power-washer!
“Hey bro, I eat sugar and piss alcohol – In the mad max world I’m your best friend.”
Although I appreciate what you do, I’m not sure about the best friend thing, since I currently have about a billion of you close relatives enslaved in a couple of 6 gallon carboys in my garage…
Calming Influence said,
September 30, 2010 at 4:45
Consider this an open thread.
Friggin’ right- 750 posts? Where was the other trolls on this one?
ooooOOOOhhhhhhMMMMmmmmmm
From T&U’s squirrel masturbation link:
WATCH THE TEETH BUDDY.
Unexpectedly, the comment thread degenerates into a discussion of metaphors for masturbation, including “grooming the ground squirrel”:
Why does snoop carry an umbrella?
Ben Franklin said God put us here to keep people happy, and who are we to argue with God? Viva Cerveza! Skol! Cheers! etc.
Holy crap! I missed squirrel masturbation????
I meant BEER to keep us happy, obviously I have been experimenting too much to be an objective source.
Holy crap! I missed squirrel masturbation????
http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/notrocketscience/2010/09/28/squirrels-masturbate-to-avoid-sexually-transmitted-infections/
Unexpectedly, the comment thread degenerates into a discussion of metaphors for masturbation
Just hate it when that happens.
Why does snoop carry an umbrella?
For the DRIZZLE.
Sorry, I stepped out for a minute – I was grooming the ground squirrel. Did I miss anything?
Off topic comments will be subjected to moderation. You have been warned.
[taptaptap]
[taptaptap]
[Is this thing on?]
[taptaptap]
hic!
Is there anybody OUT there…
Commenting in an epic batshit-insane thread!
Zoicks! Apparently when I wished VS her many happies I somehow inadvertantly opened a wormhole into the Crazyverse.
So … anybody ELSE got a birthday impending? Don’t be shy!
It’s been a long long time since I took a Journalism class, but I’m pretty sure the whole idea with that “journalism” thing is to REPORT the story, not to BECOME the story – & I also suspect that pushing 30 & still acting like your
Pampers have yet to come off for the last timeballs have yet to drop is a bit of a deficit too.Silver Lining: I hear Ozzy’s getting too old to bite the heads off of bats on his own any more, so at least O’Keefe has a fallback as soon as the Lord Of Incoherence goes back out on tour.
I have had way, WAY too much to drink tonight. I just thought y’all should know that.
And happy belated birthday, vacuumslayer. I hope it was a neat one.
I’m guessing more like hundreds of billions, unless you only just pitched.
You know, at first I was worried about participating in the masturbate-a-thon but I think I really held my own.
Happy birthday, VS — sorry the puddin’ didn’t work out for you. I’m skating to the box and I hope that you won’t take it personally or litigiously or whatnot. Ann fell asleep kind of early on, really just after splashing the vessel, which was actually okay, as Ben and I shared a blintz.
Ozzy is smarter, bless his fucked up soul, than O’keefe could ever dream to be.
Oh shit, was that a different thread? Oh well, Happy Birthday VS – I always enjoy your comments.
Oh shit, was that a different thread?
There is but one thread, & one thread only.
http://edition.cnn.com/interactive/2010/09/specials/cnn.caper/index.html
Don’t get innto the boat Abby.
This 13 page plan by O’Keefe is full of al lsort of win and by that I mean epic fail and major lol’s.
OK, everyone here missed the key scientific finding as to why the Ground Squirrel blows itself: Because it CAN!!
I’ll be here all week, folks! Try the Lamb Fries!
I for one can sleep more soundly at night* for the knowledge that rough men are out there investigating auto-fellatio amongst Cape ground squirrels.
* Or more accurately, at odd intervals according to the 37-hour Centaurian clock.
Thanks again for the b-day wishes everyone. (Even you, James. ) They made me feel warm and tingly in erogenous zones like my nostrils and eyelashes.
I had a lovely, low-key b-day that was marred only by tigris trying to put her hand on my ass during our group hug. tigris, I’m flattered, but I don’t swing that way unless Nigella Lawson and a jar of Nutella is involved.
Asshole rebos decide to block access to mosques in an effort to evangelize Muslims.
“In Iran, sure, but those are mostly women.
Yeah, I actually got out of the boat, saw this, vomited, and hopped right back in.”
me, too. I slipped on your vomit and tripped trying to hop back in.
He actually wrote that down. Wow.
It’s all about me.
No, it is all about me.
“We need Charles Martel. What we have is
Pippin.” Gollumtigris, I’m flattered, but I don’t swing that way unless Nigella Lawson and a jar of Nutella is involved.
Homemade vegan Nutella, as a matter of fact, but if you like Nigella-sized ladies I’m definitely not your type. Anyway, here’s your wallet, happy b-day!
No. It is about Madonna. Not that bitch Lady Gaga – Madonna.
As mentioned earlier, it would be a missed opportunity for Sadly No! to avoid the Breitbart-spawned James O’Keefe’s painfully embarrassing attempt to seduce or humiliate or whatever a CNN reporter.
painfully embarrassing
And borderline criminal. But hey, he’s a truth-seeker.
Your daily Donalde douchebaggery can be found here.
Take it away SEK. (bonus comment section lols)
http://www.lawyersgunsmoneyblog.com/2010/09/his-superiors-no-doubt-consider-him-the-most-prestigious-feather-in-their-cap#comments
Americaneocon says:
September 30, 2010 at 6:59 am
I think you’ve mined his angle ad infinitum, Scott. And I’ve responded to this line of attack before. Leftists infantilize women. Pity the ladie in your class, who you feel can’t decide for themselves what to read and what images to view. You’re a sad little man, but we’ve covered that ground before. Photobucket sucks. That said, the pic’s back up, here. You should post it here. I’m sure even one or two Lawyers, Gays and Marriage readers might enjoy it.
Leftists infantilize women.
Hey, at least they’re generally cool with doing what we want with our vadges.
This is the headline at CNN.com. I guess the gloves are off.
http://articles.cnn.com/2010-09-29/us/okeefe.cnn.prank_1_hannah-giles-undercover-videos-james-o-keefe?_s=PM:US
Fake pimp from ACORN videos tries to ‘punk’ CNN correspondent
September 29, 2010|By Scott Zamost, CNN Special Investigations Unit.
“I have a problem on my hands that I think has the potential for unnecessary backlash,” Santa wrote. “Today, James is meeting with a CNN correspondent today on his boat. She is doing a piece on the movement of young conservative filmmakers.
“She doesn’t know she is getting on a boat but rather James’ office. James has staged the boat to be a palace of pleasure with all sorts of props, wants to have a bizarre sexual conversation with her. He wants to gag CNN.”
She wrote that “the idea is incredibly bad” and “the more I think about it we should not be doing this.”
O’Keefe had also instructed Santa to print a “pleasure palace graphic” on a large poster, according to an e-mail.
CNN later obtained a copy of a 13-page document titled “CNN Caper,” which appears to describe O’Keefe’s detailed plans for that day.
“The plans appeared so outlandish and so juvenile in tone, I questioned whether it was part of a second attempted punk,” Boudreau said.
But in a phone conversation, Santa confirmed the document was authentic. Listed under “equipment needed,” is “hidden cams on the boat,” and a “tripod and overt recorder near the bed, an obvious sex tape machine.”
Among the props listed were a “condom jar, dildos, posters and paintings of naked women, fuzzy handcuffs” and a blindfold.”
Sexual seduction. You’re doing it wrong.
Fake pimp from ACORN videos
The headline still spreads the meme that ACORN was somehow involved. To be accurate, it should read “Fake pimp who libeled ACORN with our complicity.”
an obvious sex tape machine
I’m decently knowledgeable in the field of perversity, but I have no idea what the fuck a “sex tape machine” is.
gocart mozart said
Lawyers, Gays and Marriage
Oh noes, you got fiXXord too?
Oh no. I got -on- the boat!
I’m decently knowledgeable in the field of perversity, but I have no idea what the fuck a “sex tape machine” is.
For those of us who can’t afford handcuffs there is a
ductsex tape dispencing machine.On another note, I rode in on the employee bus to the airport this morning with half a dozen TSA agents. Two of them were spouting tea party anti-big government crap and the rest were nodding in agreement. I asked them if they were planning on handing in their resignations this morning and they all looked at me like I was the crazy one.
FYWP! It’s been about 14 hours since I last posted. How the hell is that “posting too fast”?
Lawyers, Gays and Marriage
Warren Zevon almost did a song about them.
Any bets on how soon the right wing wurlitzer swiftboats Izzy Santa?
“I’m decently knowledgeable in the field of perversity, but I have no idea what the fuck a “sex tape machine” is.”
I think he was referring to a DVD player. You know, the only kind of DVD O’Keefe would own.
I have no idea what the fuck a “sex tape machine” is.
A VCR loaded with “Sorority Sluts IV.” Duh.
Pity the ladie in your class, who you feel can’t decide for themselves what to read and what images to view.
Do professors not usually have assigned readings? OMG, and art history classes! Dammit, I feel so infantalized.
For those of us who can’t afford handcuffs there is a duct sex tape dispencing machine.
The specifications require “fuzzy handcuffs” so be sure to apply a little dryer lint.
I have no idea what the fuck a “sex tape machine” is.
Sex Tape is like a chastity belt for poor people.
The specifications require “fuzzy handcuffs” so be sure to apply a little dryer lint.
They don’t sell pink fuzzy duct tape at your hardware store?
Bitter Scribe, out of curiosity was this you? Because I have my doubts.
5 posts in 15 minutes. Now I am posting too fast, but does WP notice? I guess I shamed it with that last FY.
“Leftists infantilize women.”
D.C prostitutes infantilize Lousianna Senators. fixxored
Bitter Scribe, out of curiosity was this you? Because I have my doubts.
Nope. Never saw it until your link. Not to brag, but if I were to do parody troll posts, they would be a lot funnier than Steve’s.
Leftists infantilize women. Pity the ladie in your class, who you feel can’t decide for themselves what to read and what images to view.
Guh? Buh?
Leftists infantilize women? This from the crowd that want women to be barefoot and pregnant and get me mah damn beer, woman and have mah dinner ready for when I come home from work?
And conservatives are now against censorship? Whiny Donalde who accused us of being preverts is now championing the right to look at what you want (or don’t want, in Don Surber’s case)?
And “ladie” – shit, he STILL can’t spell, or maybe he’s doing a Jerry Lewis impression (“Ladie! Oh, ladieeee! Froinleven!”)
Not to brag, but if I were to do parody troll posts, they would be a lot funnier than Steve’s.
Dude, that was exactly my first thought.
Hey, at least they’re generally cool with doing what we want with our vadges.
Vadges? We don’t need no stinkin’ vadges.
Dude, that was exactly my first thought.
*blush*
I knew that warn’t no real Bitter Scribe.
Nope. Never saw it until your link. Not to brag, but if I were to do parody troll posts, they would be a lot funnier than Steve’s.
That’s what I thought. *phew*
If you guys really want to know what I sound like when I’m being a parody troll, here’ s something I posted at Salon:
*guffaw*
I had a lovely, low-key b-day that was marred only by tigris trying to put her hand on my ass during our group hug
Erm… might have been me again.. sorry.
We have to know what music was playing as well. Ink-Spots or Drifters?
Smoov O’Keefe is in da zone!
What, has management gone on vacation?
Want moar posts pleez!
Less than 1000 comments? You fucking slackers.
<"When I see some of them looking for returns of 20 or 25 percent, at a time when fellatio is close to zero, and in particular in a slump, that means we are destroying businesses,"
From the French link.
Maybe the slump is the result of low fellatio, not the cause.
We need more fellating to get our economy expanding again!
Aww, that’s all right. After the paint-huffing and the pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey, things got crazy.
I know I’ve told this story before, but I’m still a little proud that I broke one of these guys’ hearts when I was 16.
You break mine a little bit every day, T&U
low fellatio
Generally I prefer at least an alto, if not a coloratura.
Hey Jimmy, you’re doing it wrong!
You know Hindy, if all the corporations out there pouring money into the elections, spent that money on Blackwater, Mexico could be saved in a week. Tops.
Why are you calling for the U.S. Government to do the job?
Hell, I bet Limpy, Blech, and the Kroch Brothers could cover the bill. Why not demand Erik Prince do it at cost?
Nope, somehow it’s always the U.S. Military’s job to stiffen your manhood.
Wow, total tagfail.
New election slogan:
“Fluff the Economy!”
I rode in on the employee bus to the airport this morning with half a dozen TSA agents. Two of them were spouting tea party anti-big government crap and the rest were nodding in agreement.
It takes a truly rugged individual to stare at luggage all day doesn’t it?
It takes a truly rugged individual to stare at luggage all day doesn’t it?
Here at the airport we know that TSA stands for Thousands Standing Around.
I’m decently knowledgeable in the field of perversity
Umm…..that is…I mean…say what?
Small-government, tootally independent Teaparty types who just happen to lurve the new Republican “Contract, America!” plan should know that the security theater apparatus has been the main engine of government growth for the last 7 years.
Small-government, tootally independent Teaparty types who just happen to lurve the new Republican “Contract, America!” plan should know that the security theater apparatus has been the main engine of government growth for the last 7 years.
They should know a lot of things.
Maybe the slump is the result of low fellatio, not the cause.
We need more fellating to get our economy expanding again!
Hire more ground squirrels!
the security theater apparatus has been the main engine of government growth and civil-rights abuse for the last 7 years.
Fiqqst ’cause I’m pissed off.
My university offered that, but the classes always filled up really quickly.
D’oh! Nym fail.
D’oh! Nym fail.
No, I like that. RWP you are.
It may be a Buffy the Vampire Slayer reference – from a personal favorite mini-rant by Xander.
No, it’s impossible!
(Seriously, I was terrified no one at all was going to get it. It was indeed from Xander’s rant at the end of Buffy vs. Dracula. Although I contend the episode where he *got* the funny syphilis was in fact funnier than when he named it the funny syphilis.)