The Mideast Crisis Explained

SyriaPic1.jpg
(April 26, 2005)
Syri4 says: tihs sux i quit
1sr43l says: cool cya
Syri4 has left the game

 
MideastMap1.jpg
(July 12, 2006)
H3zb0ll4h says: hehe i got yuor doods

 

MideastMap3.jpg
(July 12, 2006)
1sr43l says: W00T! i got lebanon haha1!11111 suxXxor

 

 

Comments: 54

 
 
 

Wait…I thought the gay had sumpthin to do wit it! You done forgot the gay people!

 
 

Ukraine is WEAK?!?

 
 

Well played, GoatBoy. Well played.

 
 

Syria has the War Elephant?

 
Israeli Attitude Advisor
 

Wise men say, that only a fool runs an empire without luxuries, king.

 
 

The skiing mooks from The Spy Who Loved Me are going to be really useful after global warming cools the planet off.

 
 

Israel has the Merrimack?

 
 

Of course the left is completely behind Hezb’allah here.

In fact, if the Democrats win the House, then Hezb’allah supporters will be the chairmen of Energy/Commerce (Dingell), Judicary (Conyers), and Resources (Rahall). All three men voted against a resolution condemning the Hezbollah attack this week.

Not to mention the fact that ultraliberals will have other committee and subcommitte positions such as Defense Appropriations Subcommitee (Murtha), Tactical Air & Land Forces Subcommitee (Neil Abercrombie), Education (Miller), Workforce Protections Subcommitee (Kucinich), Housing and Communtiy Opportunity Subcommitee (Maxine Waters), and Immigration Subcommitee (Shiela Jackson-Lee).

I have no doubt that a “Speaker Pelosi” is going to try and sell out the Israelis by either withdrawing support from them, or by putting support behind Hezb’allah.

But, I am thankful that the Democrats have no chance of being elected this fall.

We’re in the middle of a World War, and America will recognize that we shouldn’t elect the fifth columnists to run things in this war.

 
 

Fool, Gary. Everyone knows that that the Cabinent will be filled out by our Scientologist Overloads, praise be upon them.

Further, Comrades! We must quelsh this upstart Christianity evil before The Great Arrival!

Riiiiight. A Democrat could NEVER win a World War. 9_9

Are you ever TRYING anymore, man?

 
 

What concerns me is the direction that catapult is going to launch Tire. If Tire lands in the UNDOF, all hell will break loose and the US will have to send in more chariots and dragoons. Thank goodness America has the special F15 unit and is led by the mighty Abe Lincoln!

 
 

World War II was an exception, since the leftist fifth column aligned with America after the invasion of their beloved Soviet Union.

Leftists had supported the Nazis before June 1941.

In every single war since World War II, the left hasn’t been anti-War, they’ve been on the other side. In Korea, Vietnam, Iraq, and Afghanistan, they have been rooting against American troops.

And in this war, they are supporting their socialist allies in Hezb’allah, Al Qaida, and the Ba’ath party instead of supporting America.

 
 

That’s not even the worst part, Gary. The ultralibs have already drafted up the unconditional surrender to Iran and North Korea. It’s just waiting in Pelosi’s desk drawer!

DON’T LET THEM OPEN THE DESK DRAWER!!!1111!!

 
 

Hey, Gary, shut up. I’m against the Hezballah-sympathizers and Israel-bashers, but you make no point at all. If you have to resort to Nazi talk, you are Bush League. Leave it to the big boys.

 
 

I’m going to go ahead and declare that to be For The Win.

Also, beware, for our words are backed by NUCLEAR WEAPONS!!!

 
 

I for one humbly bow before my Iranian and North Korean overlords.

Go Taliban!

Honestly, whoever’s running the Garybot (TM) today: go fucka yooself.

 
 

DailyKos has basically become DailyHezb’allah with all their anti-Israel and pro-Hezb’allah diaries.

 
 

Leftists had supported the Nazis before June 1941.

Um, no.

That’s not exactly how a reasonable person would put it.

Ha. Haha. Oh, my.

Gary, do a Goog for ‘premature anti-fascist’ and see what comes up.

 
K. Ron Silkwood
 

Syri4 sux. He still had a big chance with the thimble and top hat.

 
 

Sounds like Gary’s been gorging on heaping bowls of Crazyshit Flakes again.

 
 

Alright. I’m copping to it right now. I’m Gary. Well, not really. He’s actually a perl script I wrote called “turrwingnut.pl”.

 
 

Gary, give one citation, just one. And not “it is obvious that blather balther blather” or “we can infer from this blah blah blah” or “they may not realize they worship Satan but they do!” kind of bullshit that passes for objective reality in your black-and-white blinder-world.

One citation. One speech, one published paper, one letter–any single item that passes the oh-so-high standard of evidence required for a freshman English or history paper.

“The fact is….” you keep using that word. Are you sure it means what you think it means?

 
 

Leftists had supported the Nazis before June 1941.

No, you’re confusing them with the Glowing Bunny Rabbits on the ceiling. The Leftists supported the Floating Head of Frederick William II, until the well-known pact between Nancy Pelosi and Novalis forced the Manchester Guardian to claim that Assyria had gone too far. That was before Paul Daniels waved his magic wand and the whole of Pomerania broke off Europe and hid itself in your laundry basket. Quick, look! Bah, you missed it.

 
 

Gavin wins all.

 
 

Gary, man, I respect where you’re coming from, but I think you might be barking up the wrong tree.

What you should really be looking into is what the QUEERS are doing to the SOIL.

 
 

Ultraliberal? I do not think that word means what you think it means.

Why would an ultraliberal want to bring Nazis to power? If I remember my high school civics class, the Nazi-Fascist Axis was way, way over on the RIGHT. And presumably the ultraliberal would be way, way over on the LEFT. Ditto with the myriad accusations of the “ultraliberals” supporting various extreme-right Islamic theocracies. Pretty much the definition of polar opposites. Believing that is analagous to believing that Republican Jack Abramoff’s Republican Money Machine for Republicans was out there breaking laws in a desperate effort to raise money for the Democrats.

In other words, you have to be more than just regular stupid to think that. You have to be Fox News stupid.

And Gavin- All the world maaaaarvels at your superior Photoshop skills, sire.

 
 

G4v1n pwns t3h ph0t0sh0p!!!11!1

 
 

Sean, I like you.

But George W, he was a DAAAREDEVIL, just like his old man. He was leaning out saying “Hey everybody, look at me! Look at me!” Pow! 50,000 Iraqi civilians were blown apart! They found their heads over by the snow cone concession.

 
 

Leftists had supported the Nazis before June 1941.

This has got to be a spoof, right? No one’s this fucking stupid in real life, right?

I suppose those thousands of leftists who enlisted in the Abraham Lincoln Brigade to fight against the Nazis’ fascist friends in the Spanish Civil War were — what? — a head-fake to make the other leftists look good? And all the liberals that were tarred as “premature antifascists” by McCarthy and his buddies in the Cold War hadn’t really spent the ’30s agitating for American opposition to Hitler? Maybe Sinclair Lewis’s It Can’t Happen Here really reads like Mein Kampf if you skip every third word?

Yeah, the nimrods at the head of the CPUSA towed the Stalinist party line during the brief era of the Molotov-Ribinoff Pact. But using that to say “leftists had supported the Nazis” would be like us saying “conservatives are all severely retarded” just on the basis of a few Gary Ruppert posts.

 
 

I knew I’d heard this joke before.

 
 

This has got to be a spoof, right? No one’s this fucking stupid in real life, right?

Nope, the Nazis were National Socialists see. Ipso facto Nazis and fascism in general were left wing, as are all authoritarian movements, and the right has been on the side of all that’s good and holy from time immemorial.

 
 

that strategy page link is so awesome Bas.

 
 

Gary, I wholeheartedly support any army with soldiers who ski across the desert in full snowsuits. That, my man, is hard-core.

 
 

tsk tsk…. you’re not supposed to use a Phalanx in an attack!

Have you looked at SR2010? Some sweet graphics there for you to use….

 
 

Fascists saw themselves as a “third way”, neither left nor right. combining the best of capitalism and socialism; every economic corporatist from the Pope to Mussolini put it in these terms.

On the other hand, a lot of Nazis saw the British and American capitalists of natural allies of Germany against the threat of Communism.

On the other other hand, the appeal of fascism as a “sensible alternative” to socialism did have strongly populist underpinnings; there was always the assumption that, ultimately, the fascist state was being made “for the people”.

So basically, fascists are assholes.

 
 

We’re in the middle of a World War, and America will recognize that we shouldn’t elect the fifth columnists to run things in this war.

I really feel sorry for you, Gary. You’re SO scared. I bet you cry yourself to sleep every night. “Oh, mommy, the terrorists are gonna GET us tonight, I just KNOW it!” Gary. In a few years, you’ll be old enough to buy a gun. You can protect yourself now with a decent baseball bat. Hell, boy, they sell machetes down at the OSH! (They do) If those nasty terrorists, with the brown skin and the beards and the weird religion that isn’t yours, if they come to get you tonight, you and your mom and dad can fight them. Make a plan. It’s the best way to fight the fear. Oh, and look around. Do you know anyone who’s been hurt by a terrorist? Is there a smoking crater where a building used to by in your little town? No? I think you can relax a little, don’t be so scared, we’re a strong nation and a strong people and it’s going to be ok. Go to sleep now…

mikey

 
 

Edmundo, so you are saying hard right isn’t fascism, it is straight free market capitalism. Au contrere, hard right is authoritarian nationalism, doncha think?

 
 

Am I the only one that got the Civ II reference? Lame Sadly, No! needs to get with the times & upgrade to Civ IV! LOL

 
 

Leftists had supported the Nazis before June 1941.

I had no idea
Prescott Bush was a leftst.

 
 

I love the skier fleeing all those kick ass chalets in Lebanon.

 
 

Punko: I guess what I’m saying is that a one-dimensional axis isn’t sufficient to describe the spectrum of politics; this isn’t a new idea.

That said, it’s pretty much inevitable that any unregulated free-market system will produce monopolies or oligopolies due to the economy-of-scale effect. When these monopolies start colluding in an organized fashion, you get a de facto emergence of state corporatism; this was the argument I alluded to earlier, that Nazism is the ultimate evolution of capitalism. A similar view, with a more leftist bent, existed under Italian Fascism.

One of the tricky parts of this discussion is that, in some senses, “fascism” was never really a coherent ideology but rather a collection of statist/nationalist/corporatist movements that appeared around the same time in reaction to similar political and economic pressures; indeed, you could say that the nationalist streak in fascism implied the idea of separate fascisms for separate countries, with each state taking on a politicoeconomic character to match its own culture. Thus, British Oswald Moseley-style fascism wass quite a bit less militaristic and, you might argue, more liberal in character than Italian Fascism. Meanwhile, you have ultra-religious fascistic movements like the Iron Guard in Romania and the Grey Wolves in Lithuania existing in the same overall mixed bag as the cynically secular/quasi-Teutonic Nazism and the explicitly pan-religious (and pan-ethnist!) Brazilian style of Integralism.

And they’re all still assholes.

 
 

I am totally going to gank Gary the first chance I get. What a n00b.

 
 

This “WWIII ZOMFG!” is really starting to piss me off.
I guess GWOT got boring. Decided they needed to punch it up a bit.
I’d have to really think it over, but I think, in order for it to quality as a “world war”, I would think it would:
Involve no less then ten (10) countries.
Require 500 million, minimum, active duty, uniform troops.
Be engaged in more then one continent.
Require a military draft.
If I was snarky, i would also add something about have a clearly defined, obtainable goal. Good thing I’m not snarky.

 
Notorious P.A.T.
 

“Thank goodness America is led by the mighty Abe Lincoln!”

Lol!

What’s funnier than moving your triremes around and Mohandas Ghandi appears on your screen and says “your decadent society is an affront to us; hand over your treasury or we will kill you all!”

 
 

Is this what’s actually happening in any way?

Sadly, no!

 
 

Is this what’s actually happening in any way?

Sadly, no!

Yeha, I mean, neither Syria nor Israel have chariot riders and war elephants in their militaries.

And I think, though I’m not sure, that Israel has advanced past the Merrimack-stage of amphibious vehicles.

 
 

Hilarious. Unbeliveably funny.

 
 

Thankfully America, the “Honest Broker,” is working to put an end to the violence. Apparently by helping Israel completely destroy Lebanon…faster.

U.S. Speeds Up Bomb Delivery for the Israelis
By DAVID S. CLOUD and HELENE COOPER
The Bush administration is rushing a delivery of precision-guided bombs to Israel, which some military officers see as a sign of a longer campaign ahead….
http://www.nytimes.com/2006/07/22/world/middleeast/22military.html

 
 

I probably shouldn’t have found that funny, but I did.

 
 

This was incredibly hilarious.

I have nothing further to say. La la la di da.

 
 

Gary, you really must stop huffing paint.

Take this, for example: “World War II was an exception, since the leftist fifth column aligned with America after the invasion of their beloved Soviet Union.”

If World War II was an exception to the ‘fact’ that Democrats cannot be trusted to win World Wars, then what world war is being excepted? It could only be World War I. But a Democrat presided over all of that war (1914-1919) and all of America’s participation (1917-1919): Woodrow Wilson.

Gary, Gary, Gary, what can we say about such pathetic attempts at trolling?

 
 

That Gary’s education in history was presided over by Michelle Malkin?

 
 

I’ve just seen this for the first time. Told all my friends. Hysterical comments–the content and tone and insight. Very impressive. (Buncha smartasses.)

Except…for the guy you call “the Garybot.� Proof that they walk among us. And that eternal vigilance, or Slayers, will always be required. Jeebus? He’s okay, but…I, myself, I will continue to light my candles to Saint Buffy.

I gotta say, such incandescent ignorance. wrong damn near every time, in every line in every post. I disagree with an earlier post accusing him of not trying. you have to be trying really hard to be that stupid, and that wrong, that often.

most notably, friend, you’re wrong that we are in a world war. the US is not AT WAR. we are UNDER ATTACK (that is a huge legal, moral, philosophical, constitutional AND military distinction, one which the far right has deliberately obscured continuously); and we have been under attack more or less continuously, and survived, since about 1930 without bringing on Gotterdammerung.

here’s a suggestion, Bunkie: try putting Fox Spews on mute, and read some american political philosophy. (and no, Ann Coulter and shoot-it-up junkie “Rush” Limbaugh don’t qualify as…well, hell, they barely qualify as human.)

I meant real political philosophy–Madison, Jefferson, Monroe, de Chardin, Paine etc. the kind that educated and thinking people read and refer back to. and all of whose names they can pronounce correctly.

those objections of yours to democrats taking over, creating a responsive people’s assembly? and that Congress might just act as though it actually is constituted of the people, by the people, and for the people? but you seem the old-fashioned type–the kind that would be much more comfortable in say 1930’s Germany? and I’m sure Herr Doktor Rove could make you feel welcome by having a few Nuremberg rallies out on the DC Mall this summer or burning the Reichstag again this fall when he and his cronies get in serious political trouble (cool! just like old times!).

are you capable of living in this world without an enemies list? can you live without someone to hate?

and this, you call Americanism. Well, sieg heil, y’all.

we already know where THAT went. and your way will again end in tears.

 
 

[…] At one point, Friedman started talking about what would be the game changer in the region. What could change the whole complexion of the Middle East? In essence, what would Henry Kissinger do? That's what Tom wanted to know. It revolved around the role of Syria in the whole Middle East puzzle. […]

 
 

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