September 11 is really an occasion to remember Bernard Kerik who is now in jail.

Pikers. I remember Bernie every time I see a dog pissing on a hydrant.

Can N_B be trusted with this nubile young thread?

Come with me, little text messages. I’ve got candy.

I will not click on the linky things. I will trust the shorters. My day is to valuable to waste.

Eight shorters? I ain’t no dummy…

Stupid people need to forget that they are stupid. Other people, however, are allowed to remember that stupid people are stupid.

I gotcher Koran Burner story, right here.
~

You can’t create jobs by trying to create jobs, unless you’re trying to create jobs by cutting taxes on CEOs.

Those poor oppressed CEOs… who do so much for us, like… um… like…

for example…

um…

Must….resist…..urge….to….click…..link….

The fact is that Real Americans read Renew America and the Bible on this day of rememberence. The two minute warning for Obama and his traiterous followers is being blown now.

Oh something’s being blown alright…..

The two minute warning for Obama and his traiterous followers is being blown now.

Obama followers are going to get blown now?

Wow. Thanks.

LOLKraken

oh..yes! yes! oh! ah! yesyesyes!

Those poor oppressed CEOs… who do so much for us, like… um… like…

They provide much-needed jobs for polo pony breeders and yacht designers.

Those poor oppressed CEOs… who do so much for us, like… um… like…

Provide a pool of labor with which politicians can screw up appointed government jobs.

They also provide job for masseuses, butlers, maids, mistresses, escorts, all sorts of service-sector jobs.

I remember the NYT running a piece or two back in the bad days after 9/11 (remember that other recession?) about how Wall Street Masters of the Universe were having to cut back on their mistress budgets.

I remember the NYT running a piece or two back in the bad days after 9/11 (remember that other recession?) about how Wall Street Masters of the Universe were having to cut back on their mistress budgets.

Just think of the plastic surgery trickle-down.

Yeah, and I forgot sellers of kittens.

Even a CEO has to eat, y’know.

Just think of the plastic surgery trickle-down.

Not to mention the mani-pedi industry!

Yeah, and I forgot sellers of kittens.

Even a CEO has to eat, y’know.

Or play poker.

No Ma’rie ‘Jon entry? Sigh. Sh’es dreamy!

Muslim terrorists were a problem, even back then, in the early 1900?s. Me and my troops captured 50 of them, brought pigs out and slaughtered them, soaked bullets in pigs blood while the terrorists were digging a trench, while digging they saw what the Americans were doing.

The pig carcasses were thrown in the trench, and the prisoners were executed with the pig’s blood soaked bullets, and their bodies were thrown in the trench, or mass grave if you will with the pig carcasses, one at a time. The 50th prisoner was set free. After the “Phillipine Incident” there was not one Islamic act of terrorism anywhere in the world for the next 42 years. That’s how s**t get’s done, and done right!” (Source: Lake Minnetonka Liberty)

You cloven hooved liberals ought to be out stomping some islamiacs today!!

From the Macguire piece: Oh my fucking christ. The “National Association for the Advancement of Conservative People of All Colors”

As soon as I read it, I said, “great, now both black conservatives can have a club.” Well, yes, exactly.

Of course, the media will hold this “organization” as equal to the NAACP and bring them on for dueling talking heads segments.

From the Macguire piece: Oh my fucking christ. The “National Association for the Advancement of Conservative People of All Colors”

Dude, masses and masses of those “colored” people who vote Democrat are conservative – pro-life and anti-gay marriage and religious and all that. They don’t vote for us cause we’re liberals, they vote for us cause we don’t hate them.

Thank gawd, anything to get that previous post to scroll down.

Ah, yes. Renew America. Where they look up at the bottom of the barrel and see a luxury penthouse.

Bresciani, the poor man’s Swank:

Many think that the Koran was satanically inspired and although they see no good in burning the book they will nevertheless preach against its veracity and question its derivation. With that in mind it is easy to see why burning the book, to some, is just an outward sign of an inward conviction.

See, libs? It’s not bigotry or religious tribalism. It’s an outward sign of an inward conviction.

(Alt. comment: I got ya inward conviction right heah.)

With a name like “Frantz Kebreau” I don’t care how black you are — you’re gonna be a Republican.

Frantz is the grandson of the former President of Haiti who was also the Ambassador to the Vatican…Frantz then entered the US Naval Flight School…Today Commander Kebreau is a Commercial Airline Pilot for a major airline and a Tea Party Activist. He is married with 5 children, who keep him focused on what’s truly important – God, Family and Country. Frantz spreads his message of Unity and Americanism throughout the Nation. Identity Politics, race, white guilt, political correctness and racism are the means by which Socialism through entitlements will bring our Country down.

Oh, lovely. A government institution (which was integrated well before the “free market” was) paid him to learn to fly so he could go get a cushy job in private industry. No entitlements there!

But holy shit — his grandfather was the dude that got thrown out of power when Papa Doc took over in Haiti.

Many think that the Koran was satanically inspired

Many = tiny minority of bible-frigging FAUX-watching wingnuts.

Sadly no, General!
http://www.snopes.com/rumors/pershing.asp

That’s like saying the Troubles were solved by throwing meat on Friday.

Frantz spreads his message of Unity and Americanism throughout the Nation.

Yeah, ein Volk, ein Reich, seen it before.

btw ‘Unity” meaning “all proper conservative patriots”; liberals, atheists, Muslims and Democrats need not apply.

Plus, what about the Jewish soldiers?

“Plus, what about the Jewish soldiers?”

The what now? The US Army is a Christian army as our Christian founders intended.

Frantz spreads his message of Unity and Americanism throughout the Nation.

Yeah, let’s go teach all those Americans about America. Hell, it’s not like anyone overseas is listening anymore.

The what now? The US Army is a Christian army as our Christian founders intended.

Well, dude, I think you should remember that the Jews are God’s Chosen People. (Chosen for sacrifice on the day of the apocalypse, to be specific).

Christ, what a crock. You say “master race” and it’s synonymous with devil worship (at least now it is). But say “chosen people,” which means exactly the same thing, and all of a sudden all they hear are choirs of angels singing.

Imagine the Left’s reaction if, for example, a Catholic church was proposed for the very site where ten fanatical Catholics blew up an abortion facility.

What if we imagine instead that Unitarians wanted to open a coffee house a couple blocks away?

Where are our Liberal environmental friends, many of them often so eager to hug a tree? … Geoffrey Croft, head of NYC Park Advocates, called the move “a massacre.”

So wait, is the guy you quote in the same fucking paragraph a conservative tree-hater?

” The two minute warning for Obama and his traiterous followers is being blown now.”

Is the two minutes up yet? Nothing feels different.

Verbatim Caruba: Whenever I think about September 11, 2001, I have only one emotion and that is a deep, unrelenting anger that a group of murderous, suicidal Islamists destroyed “my towers.”

HIS TOWERS!

Verbatim Caruba: Whenever I think about September 11, 2001, I have only one emotion and that is a deep, unrelenting anger that a group of murderous, suicidal Islamists destroyed “my towers.”

Dude, murderous suicidal Islamists didn’t destroy your towers. God destroyed those towers as judgement on New York for tolerating so many faggots and feminists, just like he did to Sodom and Gomorrah in that holy book that proves that yours is the true religion of peace. Hadn’t you heard?

You’re not going to go against the Word of God, are you?

Speaking of two minit warnings, I am not looking forward to the shellacking Penn State is likely in for at Tuscaloosa.

*I can do sports talk too, long’s it ain’t baseball or hokey. Or hoops, soccer, rugby, cricket, badminton, or Nascar.

Is the two minutes up yet? Nothing feels different.

You’re not feeling hard enough.

“You’re not feeling hard enough.”

Oh please, is this slo-pitch or what?

his traiterous followers is being blown now

SWEET. When’s it my turn?

Imagine the Left’s reaction if, for example, a Catholic church was proposed for the very site where ten fanatical Catholics blew up an abortion facility.

I’d prefer to imagine Americans acting like Americans. I imagine everybody eating a big plate of STFU over the community center. Ahhh, that’s nice.

SWEET. When’s it my turn?

Maybe it’s supposed to be “supporters traitorous TO Obama”.

I remember the NYT running a piece or two back in the bad days after 9/11 (remember that other recession?) about how Wall Street Masters of the Universe were having to cut back on their mistress budgets.

Oh the inanity! The inanity!

The two minute warning for Obama and his traiterous followers is being blown now.

Down with teh muslin tyrunt! Those natzis Merriam & Webster are next!

I CAN HAZ CUNTRY BACK NAU PLZ?

Methinks poor General Pershing could’ve used a good soothing medicated enema.

Whenever I think about September 11, 2001, I have only one emotion and that is a deep, unrelenting anger that a group of murderous, suicidal Islamists destroyed “my towers.”

My emotion is at N__B’s place.
~

OOps.
~

Oh please, is this slo-pitch or what?

Sir, there is no shame in glorying in easy straight lines. Or even easy gay lines.

My emotion is at N__B’s place.

I see ZRM commented over there, too. Agree with you both.

My feelings on the matter from the fifth anniversary. They haven’t changed since then.

Are those “my towers” in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

Man, they are just phoning in those mangoes. Overripe, bruised, and sodden.

My feelings about 9/11? Meh. I’m not that into flagellation, either the self- or other- variety.

What I always flash back to are my first three thoughts that day which were, in all honesty, these:

1) Oh my god those poor people
2) Holy shit we’re going to have to address this with THIS dumbshit in charge?
3) Goddammit, now I’m going to be assaulted with that fucking Lee Greenwood treacle for months because of this.

Remarkably prescient, in retrospect.

Man, they are just phoning in those mangoes. Overripe, bruised, and sodden.

If the mangoes are bruised and soddened, maybe “phoning” isn’t the right word to describe what’s going on here.

3) Goddammit, now I’m going to be assaulted with that fucking Lee Greenwood treacle for months because of this.

One of the advantages of not using a radio – I didn’t even hear the song until 2005, and since only a few times.

I didn’t even hear the song until 2005, and since only a few times.

I was once forced to listen to a C&W station in Utah that played it every day at noon. As well as more recently having to listen to it and Toby Keith’s blathering at Wal-Mart.

In short, you’re lucky. Very lucky.

I didn’t even hear the song until 2005, and since only a few times.

As someone who first encountered that dreck way back in 1984, I’d say you’re extremely lucky.

I don’t feel tardy lucky.

1984? Why do I remember it as a relic from the first war on Iraq? Was it an earlier release that just got resurrected for the Moar Jingoism™?

My feelings about 9/11? Meh. I’m not that into flagellation, either the self- or other- variety.

Jennifer, I’m with ya on this. A couple of days after 9/11 I was thinking “Okay, time to dust ourselves off and get back to business. We’re America after all”. If you’d told me then that the flagellation was just getting started, and that we’d still be at it, with nearly the same intensity, nine years later, I frankly would have thought you nuts.

Was it an earlier release that just got resurrected for the Moar Jingoism™?

It’s zombie jingoism soundtrack. it gets resurrected for all the Moar Jingoism ™. LG has probably never had to work another day in his life

An 8-pack of stupid to go? Got it right here!

Gimme a 8-ball of the dummy dust, man! I’m jonesin’, real bad!

we’d still be at it, with nearly the same intensity, nine years later, I frankly would have thought you nuts.

Well, I seem to have sensed the intensity waxing and waning depending on whether there’s an election coming up. YMMV.

1984? Why do I remember it as a relic from the first war on Iraq? Was it an earlier release that just got resurrected for the Moar Jingoism™?

Yup, that syrupy jingle was played at the 1984 GOP convention:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/God_Bless_the_USA

Yup, that syrupy jingle was played at the 1984 GOP convention:

Was that their fallback after they found out “Born in the U.S.A.” wasn’t the Republican national anthem they thought it was?

BTW, I clicked on the aborty-bort one, and the truth is I’d rather look at a guy sticking his johnson into a virginal Range Rover than read shit like ever again.

From the all knowing encyclopedia;

With “Born in the U.S.A.” Springsteen was wildly misunderstood, at least for a short period. With these sound bites from Reagan and other right-wingers praising the song and Springsteen, himself, it seemed as though they’d missed the point entirely. Springsteen was lamenting the loss of a true sense of national pride. The working class no longer had a say in the foreign policy or decisions made by the government as a whole. The reverberating chorus of “Born in the U.S.A.” was a cry of longing, of sorrow. It was a hollow cry of patriotism that once was, but now ceased to exist.[3]

In Springsteen’s own words, the song “Born in the U.S.A.” is about “a working-class man” [in the midst of a] “spiritual crisis, in which man is left lost…It’s like he has nothing left to tie him into society anymore. He’s isolated from the government. Isolated from his family…to the point where nothing makes sense.” [3] Springsteen promotes the fact that the endless search for truth is the true American way.[7] He was frightened by the government continually rationalizing the Vietnam War.[citation needed]

Huh.

Methinks poor General Pershing could’ve used a good soothing medicated enema.

My Colon (Powell) would enjoy that, too.

On this particular anniversary, there’s one memory that’s especially sticking out. In the weeks following 9/11, we were crossing a bridge right next to my home that now sported a huge American flag and I said something to the effect of “that’s cool.” My dad agreed, but added a warning to me; “Be careful of people who wrap themselves in the flag too much.”

I kind of took it in stride at the time. I was a lot older before I really understood how spot on he was.

Until somebody manages to rhyme “9/11” with “Bert Blyleven“, I contend the ultimate musical tribute to this day has not been written.

Since Mark Twain referred to the Levin brothers of Hannibal as Twenty-two, I think we should rename this day Ninety-nine.

What Cheap Auto Insurance Quotes said.
~

No mangoes this a.m. Too much wingnut in one place. I’m still nauseous from that picture.

Separated at birth?

I usually stay on the boat but, hey, it was a slow morning and I went and looked around over there and I think JoeMax nails it: they’re just mailing it in. Vapid, check, all about MEEE, check (my towers, my gawd). There’s no there there.

As well as more recently having to listen to it and Toby Keith’s blathering at Wal-Mart.
Surprised it’s not in Chinese.

If’n y’all don’t work there, shouldn’t go. It’s truly the evilest empire.

Wall Street Masters of the Universe were having to cut back on their mistress budgets.

You know, this guy’s fable of his coffee money sort of approaches making economic sense, then veers away. Taxes do take money out of the economy if they are levied on people who are spending all of their money. Working class people, in other words, who have to budget every single dollar of every single paycheck in order to stay out of the payday loan section of town. Ask those people to come up with an extra five hundred bucks a year and they do indeed need to cut back on something. (Of course the guy is still wrong, because the government doesn’t just light the money on fire after you send it to them, but it’s reasonable to argue that it might have a multiplier effect less than one.)

However, the whole point of taxing the wealthy is that they don’t live like working people. They aren’t spending every dollar of every paycheck. A lot of it is going into “investments” which are really just artificial instruments for inflating beyond reason the value of some (possibly artificial) asset. Taking that money and spending it on a bridge or a power plant is not going to put any barristae out on the streets.

“I don’t feel tardy”

STOP PICKING ON TRIG!

Take a trip down Memory Lane. A few choice quotes from discussion forums on September 11, 2001 (I collected this stuff). Pardon the long post.

==0908 AM , Eastern time (about five minutes after the second plane hit the South Tower). The first vengeance post I’ve been able to find appears on Free Republic.

==0922-0930 AM – Free Republic. Exchange between two freepers: Zmanson: It is time to Kick some major butt….. / ActionNewsBill: At this point, we don’t know whose butt to kick. / Zmanson: Kick everyone on the list to be kicked….

==0924 AM – Free Republic. One of many increasingly hysterical vengeance posts: Nuke em til they glow, then shoot them in the dark.

==0927 AM – Democratic Underground Breaking News. The first post appears predicting a major backlash against Arab-Americans.

==0934 AM – Free Republic, posted by tomkat: IT’S TIME TO FIND AND KILL LOTS OF PEOPLE !!!. Eight minutes later, tomcat elaborates: IT’S TIME TO FIND AND KILL LOTS OF PEOPLE RAGHEADS !!!

==0935 AM – Free Republic. Responding to a post speculating that bin Laden was responsible, a freeper writes Maybe, but GB wants ground troops in Iraq so I guess Sadaam is going to get the blame.

==0943 AM – The first post blaming Bill Clinton appears on Free Republic.

==0945 AM – fark.com: A a big (shit) sandwich and we’re all gonna have to take a bite….

==0947 AM – Democratic Underground Breaking News: We’re at war and Bush is president. I think I am going to be sick.

==1005 AM – Free Republic: Time for some good old genocide!

==1027 AM – Free Republic: Thank God, he has given us a Christian Man as our President.

==1034 AM – Democratic Underground Breaking News: I hate to say this but… this is like Rumsfeld’s wet dream.

==1151 AM – Free Republic: give me bodies.

==0729 PM – fark.com: This act upon us could cause us to become a facist state and cause us to abuse our power.

==0908 AM , Eastern time (about five minutes after the second plane hit the South Tower). The first vengeance post I’ve been able to find appears on Free Republic.

Heck. Go on Yahoo News and look at the comments regarding the Obama speech that just finished. Never in my living memory has the U.S. been as close to fascism as it is today. 1.3 million Muslims have very good right to be scared.

OMG, wikipedia has some real gems;

On July 31, 2000, Talat Othman opened the Republican National Convention with a Muslim benediction, marking the first time a Muslim had addressed a major US political gathering. [84]

That, and eighty percent of Muslims voted for Bush back in the day. That’s how comfortable and adjusted this community felt in the U.S; only ten years ago, they felt safe enough to vote Republican. Just think how far we’ve come.

Worth repeating:

==0935 AM – Free Republic. Responding to a post speculating that bin Laden was responsible, a freeper writes Maybe, but GB wants ground troops in Iraq so I guess Sadaam is going to get the blame.

The smartest post of that day, and it came from Free Republic. I’d be interested in some of that poster’s other entries.

==0729 PM – fark.com: This act upon us could cause us to become a facist state and cause us to abuse our power.

Whew, we really dodged a bullet there.

/snark

If’n y’all don’t work there, shouldn’t go. It’s truly the evilest empire.

Working there is no picnic, either, I’ll tell you.

I have zero tolerance for pop culture, so it was particularly bad.

Not sure why I never noticed before, but Sadly comments each have a unique number. It didn’t take me long to find comment number 1 million:

cyntax said,

November 20, 2009 at 19:39

Just because my works are not good is no reason to not prefer them to other things which may possibly not be as not good.

This sounds suspiciously like free market apostasy.

Witch! Burn the witch!

Belated congratulations, cyntax!

This act upon us could cause us to become a facist state

I welcome our new (choose one) overlords.

A. Facebook
B. Facial
C. Fascialist

I rather like this “collected shorter stories” approach. Less temptation to enmango oneself, while at the same time a variety of tasty liqueurs distilled from a variety of teh stupidz can be quaffed at a single go.

Facial overlords?

Veiled bukakke reference?

Okay, went a-wading, a-wading, a-wading we shall go. Judie Brown uses the term “preborn persons” to refer to aborted fetuses.

Henceforth, I shall refer to the dead as “postlife persons,” and shall decry embalming, cremation, burial, and any other method of disposal. The postlife person is entitled to a comfortable chair right in the front parlor.

Anything less is liberal fascism.

I’d be interested in some of that poster’s other entries.

The poster was The Documentary Lady. I could find only one other post by her in the old 9/11 threads and unfortunately it was nothing special (“Our country is not safe” or something like that).

Our facial overlords – a veiled bukakke reference?

Can’t believe DiCintio didn’t reference this.

Henceforth, I shall refer to the dead as “postlife persons,” and shall decry embalming, cremation, burial, and any other method of disposal. The postlife person is entitled to a comfortable chair right in the front parlor.

Especially if the dead person in question is Bernard Kerik and it’s the weekend.

Angry Geometer just gave me a boner.

o/t,

am watching Pammycakes little rally in New York on Dutch TV (Gert Wilards is speaking)…. she is a complete nightmare… she just introduced old sweeylips Bolton, who has just compared the flight 93 passengers with those fighting the 9/11 mosque…..

lunatics…..

The reason why y’all can never have nice things is that no one has commented over the banner that I slaved over for this post. Sure, I do a photoshop of a guy with his dick in a tailpipe, and you can’t stop taking about that. Something more subtle is completely ignored.

Pffffft.

That is a fine banner.

@tintin

What, you mean Renew America doesn’t want to take us back to the dark ages?

We didn’t expect the Spanish Inquisition version 2.0 Well done sir.

“Sure, I do a photoshop of a guy with his dick in a tailpipe, and you can’t stop taking about that. Something more subtle is completely ignored.”

Well, it is somewhat difficult to ignore that ghastly car wreck of a ‘shop down below.

Educational graphic from the BBC re Cordoba House:

picture

Yep, “right on top of the WTC site”, fersure.

I will henceforth refer to all Tea Party people as pre-sentient persons.

Sure, I do a photoshop of a guy with his dick in a tailpipe, and you can’t stop taking about that. Something more subtle is completely ignored.

Maybe next time do the thoughtful, elegant one BEFORE you cause our eyes to explode in self-defense.

That said: NOICE.

The reason why y’all can never have nice things is that no one has commented over the banner that I slaved over for this post.

I thought it was because we Gary kept shitting the rug.

The fact is, ever thus to deadbeats, Lebowski.

I noted the banner, but it didn’t occur to me that it wasn’t just what it appears to be. Crusades, Founding Fathers, whatever, they’re the same in the mind of the RA reader. MUCH TOO SUBTLE!!

Remember, this is the United Snakes, not some hotbed of Euro-sophistication.

I’m with MB – much too subbtil for me to notice. I think it would benefit from some peasants storming the castle but I’m no critic, I just know what I like.

The King should have had a couple of teabags hanging from his crown. That was your fatal error Tintin.

Alan Caruba:

The further we get from 9/11, the dimmer the embers of anger become for those with short memories or no grasp of history.

Those with long memories and a grasp of history burn with the white-hot fiery anger of people watching the disaster happen. We should listen to those guys.

I bought a ‘signed’ copy of a political cartoon by J. Keppler from the Sept 1881 issue of Puck Magazine at a tag sale for 10 bucks. Its titled “The Good and the Bad Boys” and is about the Garfield administration. Assuming the signature is valid as the woman told me, does anyone have any idea what it is worth?

Gocart, It’s worthless. Send it to me. I’ll pay the postage.

Some would say it’s worth $400-$800, but those people are mere straw men.

Sorry, it’s a copy, not the original? Don’t send it to me. It’s only worth $30-50. To a straw man, that is.

Tintin, the banner was so well executed I didn’t even realize it wasn’t the real thing.
/hattip

does anyone have any idea what it is worth?

Is it pro- or anti-Garfield? That makes all the difference.

I was so sad when Jim Davis had Garfield and Odie have a kid. I mean, stereotypical running-out-of-plot ideas or what?

Heh, its called the ‘The Good and the Bad Boys’ so I guess it’s halfway between.

Spengler Dampniche, looking at it I think it is the magazine color centerfold (that cartoon was the centerfold in that issue according to my source in the intertubes) with a signature in the bottom right corner. I’ll sell it to you for $500 and I’ll even pay for postage!

I think it is the magazine color centerfold

Dear Puck Forum: I never thought this would happen to me, but I seem to be president.

The reason why y’all can never have nice things

You can’t expect to wield supreme power just ’cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!

“Be careful of people who wrap themselves in the flag too much.”

How about duct tape? Is that OK? AFAF.

It says PUCK at the top so that is what caught my eye. I thought it had something to do with consummation of marrige for soley procreative purposes. I sort of have a fetish for that. My bad.

How about duct tape? Is that OK?

It depends on how fond you are of your body hair.

I bought a ‘signed’ copy of a political cartoon by J. Keppler from the Sept 1881 issue of Puck Magazine at a tag sale for 10 bucks. Its titled “The Good and the Bad Boys” and is about the Garfield administration.

Nevermind that shit. You got any hot Chester Alan Arthur bondage pics?

I think it is the magazine color centerfold

Dear Puck Forum: I never thought this would happen to me, but I seem to be president.

W
I
N

Nevermind that shit. You got any hot Chester Alan Arthur bondage pics?

Oh hell yes. This thread just got good. Probably because N_B’s been molesting it.

It says PUCK at the top so that is what caught my eye.

Puck was a pretty good and successful humor magazine for its time. It’s headquarters still stands:

http://www.ronsaari.com/stockImages/nyc/PuckBuilding.jpg
http://www.ivangregg.com/Prints/Puck%20Building001%28modified%29.jpg

ITS. Where’s my whiskey.

It’s been too long since the last Two Minute. I like them. There’s so much idiocy at Renew America that the short, merciful stroke is the best approach—like rapid mass stunnings of chickens in a slaughterhouse.

Where’s my whiskey.

Question mark required, but here.

Few men in our history have ever obtained the Presidency by planning to obtain it.
James A. Garfield

Man cannot live by bread alone; he must have peanut butter.
James A. Garfield

http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/j/james_a_garfield.html

Question mark required, but here.

Yeah, I saw that. No tenks.

Few men in our history have ever obtained the Presidency by planning to obtain it.
James A. Garfield

Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.

There’s so much idiocy at Renew America that the short, merciful stroke is the best approach—like rapid mass stunnings of chickens in a slaughterhouse.

Are you comparing M’arie’ Jo’n to a ch’icken?

Well, there’s the surface resemblance, I agree…

WTF is it with this Richardson? He’s running right through the Linebacker U. Defense. Phuk, it’s going to be worse than I thought.

Sure, I do a photoshop of a guy with his dick in a tailpipe, and you can’t stop taking about that. Something more subtle is completely ignored.

I saw it. Bera bera nice.

But needs moar goar. Those severed limbs don’t just fall off, you know.

Southern white people were a problem, even back then, in the mid 1800’s. Me and my troops captured their plantations, brought accelerants out and torched them, soaked bales of hay in oil while the southerners were weeping in irons, while weeping they saw what the Americans were doing.

After the “March to the Sea” there was not one Southern act of terrorism anywhere in the world for the next 142 years. That’s how s**t get’s done, and done right!” (Source: Tr00fie’s Ass)

there was not one Southern act of terrorism anywhere in the world for the next 142 years

Atlanta 1996, General.

PM, I think you’re right. Good thing we have the Husky game on the Tivo.

Atlanta 1996, General.

Are you impugning the honour of zombie General Sherman? Scoundrel! Blackguard! Varlet! My friend will call upon your friend in the morning.

Good day, sir!

Puck was a pretty good and successful humor magazine for its time.

They changed the name because they were worried people would vandalize it, scratch out the “P” and turn it into an “F” or whatever.

Scoundrel! Blackguard! Varlet! My friend will call upon your friend in the morning.

oops.

Scoundrel! Blackguard! Varlet! My friend will call upon your friend in the morning.

Swords at twenty paces! Really, really long swords.

Can I interest you in a medicated enema, Sherman?, administered by a Licenced Aide and SIEU collective bargaining member?

Man, and I thought the last two minutes of a pro basketball game took forever. This is like … endless.

Scoundrel Blackguard-Varlet!

Twenty Domonique
Weightployd Xoyrshiplpi
Private Houvwanda Sheek
Franchesca Damyay
Senfoywooksoce
Prince Afraid Seashore-Popcorn
Vicky Pam
Lula-Angie Lefhayjchiy
Stacyqua Fathomed-Ransomer
Telegraphs Tanna
Boathouses Jihquoxjoyyi
Lectured-Compels
Wade Dirk
Prooyeejaculated Theodosian
Ploydoligarchy Hippopotamus-Slurring
Fredrickson Rattle
Pigdwindled Reputes-Peeped
Aerated
Vizexplaining Louvenia
Napoleon Cordially
Toonoretorts Possum

WTF is it with this Richardson? He’s running right through the Linebacker U. Defense. Phuk, it’s going to be worse than I thought.

Someone should tell JoPa that the forward pass is now legal in collegiate varsity football competitions.

JoPa heard me!

“After the “March to the Sea” there was not one Southern act of terrorism anywhere in the world for the next 142 years.”

We should have let Gen. Sherman make several more passes just to be sure.

tsam don’t know nuffin’ ’bout thread slayin’.

We should have let Gen. Sherman make several more passes just to be sure.

With Colonel Peabody by his side.

We should have let Gen. Sherman make several more passes just to be sure.

Yeah, they left Erick of Erickson’s great great grandfather alive down there, along with his cracker buddies. Now look what happened with that.

My feelings on the matter nine years ago today:

“Innocents have suffered today. As a result, more innocents will suffer.”

Still don’t have anything to add to that, except, alas, that now those innocents have names, and a number I can’t bring myself to think about.

We should have let Gen. Sherman make several more passes just to be sure.

Unfortunately people down here are still pissed off enough as it is. A couple more passes and ex-Yankees like me wouldn’t be let past the Pennsylvania border, then where would I be?

Swords at twenty paces! Really, really long swords.

HOT.

Yeah, they left Erick of Erickson’s great great grandfather alive down there, along with his cracker buddies.

Yeah, my great great grandfather, too. Tough crappies, you’re stuck with me now.

Unfortunately people down here are still pissed off enough as it is. A couple more passes and ex-Yankees like me wouldn’t be let past the Pennsylvania border, then where would I be?

My boy, we’re planning on installing you as the satrap in charge of the occupation!

then where would I be?

In Pennsylvania?

satrap

Not proconsul?

Not proconsul?

Evolution from Miocene primates is ONLY A THEORY.

Viceroy or Vizier, at least.

Miocene primates

Often with procounsul harems.

Can’t say it worse than I thot it would be but jeebus, THREE turnovers in the red zone AARGHRGHARGH

Potentate has a nice ring to it.

Do I hear plenipotentiary?

Anybody? Plenipotentiary?

“Often with procounsul harems.”,

Conquistador?

Conquistador?

My stallion doesn’t stand on command, damn it.

Islamofascist stallions are often a whiter shade of pale. It’s part of the breeding program.

Islamofascist stallions are often a whiter shade of pale. It’s part of the breeding program.

The Lipizzaner Stallions are muslims? Who knew?

At least the Ducks snapped out of it.

Archduke?
Master of the Interregnum?

“Satrap” is fun to say. “Plenipotentary” is too tinny.

Duke?

Earl?

Duke of Earl?

That probably should have been “Lord of the…”. Wevs.

Simple roast chicken. (faaabulous roast chix), garlic mashed potates and steamed broccoli. Simple, perfect, delicious.

Mrs. __B prepared some really nice pasta with shrimp, stewed tomatoes, and peas. And I ate it and enjoyed it.

The division of labor is a wonderful thing.

I had a bowl of Chex cereal. Made it all myself I did.

hey pj we grilled some beautiful pork tenderloins marinated in a (partially garden orgin) chimichurri.\\to much applause

Bumper sticker I saw today:

TEA PARTIES
Are for little girls with imaginary friends

Today I made macaroni and cheese with escargot.

nice.

TEA PARTIES
Are for little girls with imaginary friends

a’yup. and Cartman

Today I made macaroni and cheese with escargot.

You set the table while the snail slaved over the stove?

I picked up a slice of broccoli rabe and sausage pizza (Sicilian, corner slice) before going to work. It was a meal fit for a king satrap.

Today I made macaroni and cheese with escargot.

Whoa, Kraft’s gone all Broadway!

Be quiet!

The lovely daughter wanted to try snails, and the mac and cheese were a pretty good mask BUT the lovely daughter eats very little anyway and it didn’t work out.

The rest of the snails were eaten by myself, with a little butter salt and garlic.

Shit tintin, I’m sorry, it just looked like a banner they’d have!

You know that Eric Prince of Blackwater/Xe converted from ordinary right wing lulu Protestant evangelicalism to Catholicism because it was more crusade-y? That Newt has converted lately, too, makes me suspicious. Of course, Newt makes me suspicious no matter what he does.

Way up thread, Chris wrote:

“Dude, masses and masses of those “colored” people who vote Democrat are conservative – pro-life and anti-gay marriage and religious and all that. They don’t vote for us cause we’re liberals, they vote for us cause we don’t hate them.”

Well, it does help that they aren’t driven away by bigotry.

But while they’re social conservatives, they’re most certainly not economic conservatives. And even more so than some white social conservatives, they can’t afford to go around voting against their bread ‘n butter interests. A safety net and being treated something like a human being trump the fagz-is-sick-and-faggity-and-need-Jesus! urges for them.

Simple roast chicken.

What do you season your chicken with?

[Me, I had some excellent salmon in a soy-ginger marinade from a local grocer, plus a nice sourdough roll and some homemade coleslaw.]

Er, some other thread, the other day, everybody in the muck hitting each other with handbags re. theology:

If G-d hid antibiotics from us until the 1940’s, doesn’t that make him a bit of a dick?

Also, about the dangers of Teahadists, are they just passive lumps who will never get off the Hoveround and do something scary? Consulteth thine holy book of Altemyer about right-wing authoritarians. His research found that yeah, they are kinda passive and not eager to leap into violent action — but they do yearn for the nonconformists to be PUNISHED, and they are completel A-OK with dishing out punishment and worse WHEN their authority figures give them permission and says it’s time.

Not that that has anything to do with the “mosque” horseshit. Oh no.

His research found that yeah, they are kinda passive and not eager to leap into violent action

And they’ll wring their hands, and claim that they didn’t want to shoot those hippies, but they were forced to.

But while they’re social conservatives, they’re most certainly not economic conservatives. And even more so than some white social conservatives, they can’t afford to go around voting against their bread ‘n butter interests. A safety net and being treated something like a human being trump the fagz-is-sick-and-faggity-and-need-Jesus! urges for them.

That’s true, plus, in the case of blacks, they owe everything to the direct action of the federal government, over the bitching of the people hiding behind “states’ rights,” “property rights” and “government overreach” arguments. It’s a little harder to convince them of the whole Galtian everyone-for-himself version of the American dream when they know just how bad small government can be.

Time to get a properly maintained Sikorsky CH-53 Sea Stallion and drop Newt’s ass off in the Iranian desert with a canteen and a pointed stick.

Also, about the dangers of Teahadists, are they just passive lumps who will never get off the Hoveround and do something scary? Consulteth thine holy book of Altemyer about right-wing authoritarians. His research found that yeah, they are kinda passive and not eager to leap into violent action — but they do yearn for the nonconformists to be PUNISHED, and they are completel A-OK with dishing out punishment and worse WHEN their authority figures give them permission and says it’s time.

If the SS are any indication, RWAs seem to be passive when there’s an actual risk to themselves, active as hell when there isn’t.

Aside from the Waffen units, most of the SS weren’t too keen on going to the front (and the Waffen-SS were there to keep an eye on the regular army as much as to fight the Allies). They preferred policing unarmed civilians, running concentration camps, and when the war went south, organizing ratlines to Argentina and the like. By all accounts they were no models of bravery, but they could be fucking brutal when they wanted to.

Simple roast chicken. (faaabulous roast chix), garlic mashed potates and steamed broccoli. Simple, perfect, delicious.

Got a leg in the oven as we speak.

BTW, thanks for the “saute the garlic in a little cream” advice in the other thread. That was last night. Yum. I think maybe next time I’ll roast some alongside the chicken and mash them in with the taters. If they make it that far. Roast garlic has a very short life expectancy around me.

Or arm him with fresh fruit! That’ll shew those bastards!

Why waste a perfectly good pointed stick?

Why waste a perfectly good pointed stick?

Nobody said where the stick would be placed!

Chris,
you just had to remind me of the SS being bastards…

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oradour-sur-Glane#German_attitudes_to_resistance

Say, doesn’t this sound like something that Freepers would fap to, if our boys were doing it?

Say, doesn’t this sound like something that Freepers would fap to, if our boys were doing it?

Heh. And you just had to remind me of this –

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2005/nov/16/israel2

Granted that’s the IDF, not us, but our wingnuts and theirs are in lockstep when it comes to this kind of shit.

Chris,
And now you’ve got me digging up the quote from Fussell’s memoir, from the Battle of the Bulge:

“These SS men were the best troops we ever fought. They behaved as if they actually believed that their wounds and deaths might make a difference in the outcome of the war.”

“These SS men were the best troops we ever fought. They behaved as if they actually believed that their wounds and deaths might make a difference in the outcome of the war.”

Zing!

Nice to know some SS had the balls to fight. Most of their buddies didn’t.

Oh, and Fussell’s impression reminds me of my father’s memory of what tough customers the Waffen SS were — they had newfangled assault rifles but had the mental discipline to only fire short bursts.

Hmm, your IDF story, Chris, that reminds me, Mr. Pantaro is running for Congress.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ilario_Pantano

Man, I’d never even heard of that guy or the incident. Sounds like it might have started out as self-defense, but,

When they both turned to face each other, he shouted “Stop!” in both Arabic and English, and when they did not stop, he shot them. After emptying his magazine, he continued to fire. He later stated: “I then changed magazines and continued to fire until the second magazine was empty…I had made a decision that when I was firing I was going to send a message to these Iraqis and others that when we say, ‘No better friend, No worse enemy,’ we mean it. I had fired both magazines into the men, hitting them with about 80 percent of my rounds.”[7]

[…] Pantano’s statements
Pantano acknowledged leaving a sign on a car above the corpses that said, “No better friend, No worse enemy,” but then returned to remove it after one of his colleagues called it ‘inappropriate’.[9]

But of course, when the Iraqis hang Blackwater mercs from a bridge after they’ve murdered civilians, that makes them “animals.”

Also loved his reference to how 9/11 was pretty significant for him, as if anyone in Iraq had anything to do with it.

The massacre at Oradour-sur-Glane involved men, women and children, some as young as one week, and some as old as ninety.

Well, as long as they aren’t “pre-born people” it’s okay, right?

Chris wrote:
“But of course, when the Iraqis hang Blackwater mercs from a bridge after they’ve murdered civilians…”

Pics or it didn’t happen! Oh wait, yeah, I remember the pics of the corpses. And my gut reaction at the time was, “Are active duty troops going to be used to go get revenge for that? This whole DoD/private thing is weird…”

Now, as for them murdering civilians, uh… What now? I missed that. But I wasn’t paying enough attention at the time. The MSM version was, They wuz just ridin’ in their SUV, do di do di doh, when…” I think they were, that run, escorting a truck carrying kitchen equipment?

Anyway, fuzzy memories for me, got any good urls?

My mistake. The civilians killed before weren’t by Blackwater, they were by the U.S. military – and those four were indeed innocent, just delivering food.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fallujah#Iraq_War.2C_2003

The lead-up, though –

On the evening of April 28, 2003, a crowd of 200 people defied a curfew imposed by the Americans and gathered outside a secondary school used as a military HQ to demand its reopening. Soldiers from the 82nd Airborne stationed on the roof of the building fired upon the crowd, resulting in the deaths of 17 civilians and the wounding of over 70.[10] The events leading up to the event are disputed. American forces claim they were responding to gunfire from the crowd, while the Iraqis involved deny this version, although conceding rocks were thrown at the troops. A protest against the killings two days later was also fired upon by US troops resulting in two more deaths.

Don’t these guys get, like, riot control stuff? General Zinni asked for it in Somalia and the Marines there used it just fine. I guess tear gas and whatnot, like body armor, just wasn’t figured to be worth investing in.

No need for riot gear when they’re going to throw flowers at our feet and greet us as liberators.

Roger shoves Carl, Carl shoves Roger, and tempers rise.

Back up a few posts;

Sometimes I can’t help but think the reason the right changed its mind about the Jews (from “they’re Christ killers” to “they’re God’s chosen so you can’t ever criticize them”) is because they went from powerless to powerful; people who used to be part of an oppressed minority became the biggest bully on the Middle Eastern bloc. American conservatives see them cracking skulls and shooting children to steal their land, on some level they associate with it. Maybe they’re living vicariously through Israel, now that the Indians are gone, the blacks are free and we don’t do that at home anymore.

I don’t know if I’m exaggerating, but what I read in the comments section of just about every right wing blog is so sociopathic that I seriously doubt it. I think the average PJM viewer would literally get off on stories like the one I posted.

But while they’re social conservatives, they’re most certainly not economic conservatives. And even more so than some white social conservatives, they can’t afford to go around voting against their bread ‘n butter interests. A safety net and being treated something like a human being trump the fagz-is-sick-and-faggity-and-need-Jesus! urges for them.

Kevin Drum put up a blog post about a book that purports to explain how people ended up being persuaded to vote against their economic interests. It makes as much sense as anything to explain it. It might help explain the “blacks are social but not economic conservatives” because a) there are still (some) people arguing and organizing for black economic interests and b) many of them haven’t even reached the middle class and thus aren’t likely to be complacent about their economic interests.

American conservatives see them cracking skulls and shooting children to steal their land, on some level they associate with it. Maybe they’re living vicariously through Israel, now that the Indians are gone, the blacks are free and we don’t do that at home anymore.

The hell you say. Google ‘Emmonak’ and ‘crisis.’ Add Palin and Christian relief, if you can’t find enough that interests you.

It’s a buffalo slaugher mentality, 2010, er,, 2008, and actually..1960 to present.

Google ‘Bunderant+corruption,” just a guess the the two will be found together,many results.

Give a fuck, too, if you can.

We had fish tacos last night. Then I made dinner.

No, seriously, I was askeert I wouldn’t like them as much ‘cuz I didn’t batter and fry the fish, but marinating and grilling it proved almost as satistfying. Served it with a chili cabbage slaw and homemade roasted tomato salsa.

We had fish tacos last night. Then I made dinner.

No, seriously,

Whatever could you mean?

*whistles innocently while looking heavenward*

I made chicken marsala last night. As far as I know, I did everything the same as I always do, but for some reason, last night it turned out better than ever before. I hate it when that happens.

Time to get a properly maintained Sikorsky CH-53 Sea Stallion and drop Newt’s ass off in the Iranian desert with a canteen and a pointed stick.

I like the word “drop” here but I have concerns with the word “off.” I do not believe the helicopter would need to get below an altitude of say, 750 feet to meet the needs of the former while ignoring the requirements of the latter.

Hmmm, Chris, you may be on to something. Here’s my take on things:

American conservatives look at Israel and immediately apply their own segregationist urges: What? You’ve got some problem people? Who live over there, where you made them live? And they work for you sometimes, when you say so, but are always such a pain in the ass? Violence problems? Can’t let them vote? They outnumber you? Always complaining about x, y, and z, when you’re simply trying to live a life of luxury and making them pay taxes but not letting them vote? And when they really cause problems as laborers you just allow some more immigration to make for some competition? Oh, and THEY’RE ALL COMING TO KILL YOU AND RAPE YOUR DAUGHTERS IF YOU DON’T KEEP YOUR BOOT ON THEIR NECK?

Oh no, American conservatives have never taken that side before.

There was a time… but Haley Barbour and all his friend say that’s not why they fled the Democratic Party in the 60’s and early 70’s, and would he lie to himself and you? They’ve changed, you know, it’s so touching, all you have to do is look at their voting record since then, after hitting yourself on the head with a circus mallet and while nibbling on lead paint chips all week.

Also, somewhere in the 60’s, American Jews crossed the border into being considered White. As of the 1950’s, they couldn’t get a hotel room in DC, or maybe the nicer places in DC.

But really, when it comes to the far right fundies in the rural whitezones like Arkansas, remember, these folks love Israel, not so much Jews. They love Israel because of all the rapture shit — and because in their racist worldview, white > Jew, but Jew > A-rab. They love Israel because their big Sky God’s book says it wants Israel kicking ass and possessing certain land. That doesn’t mean that they’d want Jews moving next door to them. (Recently read… probably here… about low level resistance (compared to “ground zero mosque” ) in rural GA to a new synagogue.) And they still hate NYC (except when it’s time to insert their bazoos into real estate zoning) and Hollywood (except when they go to see the movies featuring machine guns and explosions), for NYC and H’wood are code words for Jewy-Jew-Jew.

So, they’re not real Murricans, but they’re LOVELY Holy Land conquerors! And obviously, they’re better than The Blacks and the A-rabs, but they’re not real Murricans.

No, no, no, one minute of screaming and then a splat is too merciful a suicide mission for Special Agent Salamander there. We need to land and push him out into the Iranian desert. Maybe we can debate whether the canteen has anything in it.

Gershom Goremberg described it this way;

They don’t love real Jewish people. They love us as characters in their story, in their play, and that’s not who we are, and we never auditioned for that part, and the play is not one that ends up good for us. If you listen to the drama they’re describing, essentially it’s a five-act play in which the Jews disappear in the fourth act.

I wonder to what extent you and him are right and to what extent they actually have changed their minds. The evangelicals I know (for the most part very conservative) are certainly not antisemetic, but they’re also quite racially tolerant in general – if Falwell and Robertson were any indication, definitely not true across the board.

Since Iran is ruled by Islamic law and fundamentalist clerics, let’s fill the canteen with booze, which will endear him with his hosts in his new home.

Reading the comments section of the Yahoo News article on the Obama speech. The gold medal for LOL value goes to the guy who asked “Wasn’t it a Muslim who killed Jesus?”

I was tee martoonied to reply last night, sorry.

In re chicken, it varies depending on my mood and what I have at hand. Last night was lemon thyme and rosemary both from my balcony herb garden.

justme should google for chicken with forty cloves (of garlic) recipes. You like roasted garlic, you’ll love the recipe.

vs – I prefer grilled. Did I not give my recipe for grilled fish tacos? Chipotle-lime crema, mango salsa cruda, etc.

Lessee, …. nope, need coffee before I can snark.

RE: Ilario Pantano, Congressional candidate,

Ugh.

May I piss in that canteen please?

Who can forget Bruce Springstein’s and the K Street Band’s hit, “Preborn in the USA”?

The gold medal for LOL value goes to the guy who asked “Wasn’t it a Muslim who killed Jesus?”

facepalm.jpg

“Wasn’t it a Muslim who killed Jesus?”

That’s just precious. Old school religious bigotry and shocking pig ignorance often walk hand in hand, but it usually isn’t that obvious.

facepalm.jpg

Romans–>Italians–>Foreign Language–>Swarthy–>Different—>MUSLINS!

C’mon, try and keep up, huh?

Well, there’s no reason the time machine that they used to plant Obama’s birth announcement can’t have been used for other things, I guess.

“Wasn’t it a Muslim who killed Jesus?”

Imagined reply: “Commenter, there were no Muslims at the time of Christ, so you’re only half-right”.

Romans–>Italians–>Foreign Language–>Swarthy–>Different—>MUSLINS!

+Time Machine. IF THE MUSLINS HAVE TIME MACHINES WE MUST ATTACK.

Yeah, I roasted a chicken last night too. One of ours that I raised from a chick until fat and kilt. Stuffed with K-Paul’s shrimp & cornbread stuffing (hint: grind a little sage into cornbreads to be used as stuffing and, hint #2: great shrimp broth makes for a superior stuffing), rice, gravy and salad. It was as good as usual but somewhat overwhelmed by the fresh sourdough pumpernickel that came out of the oven when the chicken went in. I’ve been learning about no knead/French fold bread making and it’s changed everything I thought I knew about making bread. Simply astounding bread and lots easier. I wish there was some trick like this to make bluegrass flatpicking easier.

AND IT WAS ONE OF THEM MUSLIMS THAT GEORGE WASHINGTON FOUGHT, TOO. WON’T HEAR THAT IN YER LIBERAL MEDIA.

I made myself another bowl of cereal. It was good.

What kind of cereal?

A really unbelievable picture.

“Wasn’t it a Muslim who killed Jesus?”

No, it were tha lieberals.

pumpernickel http://imgur.com/8uZxO.jpg

Subby’s pic is definitely more unbelievable than mine.

“Commenter, there were no Muslims at the time of Christ, so you’re only half-right””

ummm helloooo? TIME MACHINE!!!!!!!

No, it were tha lieberals.

Well, atheism is a branch of Islam, dude, so maybe liberalism is too. Actually, isn’t liberalism a branch of the atheism that is a branch of Islam?

Head hurts already. My pastor warned me about this “thinking” shit.

“What kind of cereal?”

It was cereal made from the bones of my enemies sprinkled with their tears and I ate it while listening to the sweet music of the lamentations of their women. It was delicious.

Monsieur manqué, it’s a PITA but you ought to make a true pump – oats, millet, liking bake… Completely unlike our Murrican idea of pump (which I also adore).

“A really unbelievable picture.”

White Kool-Aid. The only acceptable drink for teabaggers. Coffee is black so it is only fit for NObama libtards and tea is made by those sneaky asians.

I hear you PJ but I don’t think millet is food for humans. I make a real post-modern bastard of a pumpernickel from the Greyston Bakery recipe. It’s good.

Somebody say “Kool-Aid“?

I made chicken marsala last night. As far as I know, I did everything the same as I always do, but for some reason, last night it turned out better than ever before. I hate it when that happens.

I find that even with stuff I’Ve made time and time and time again, it turns out slightly different each time. I imagine it’s at least partly because I’m like “measurements schmeasurements! recipes schmepices!”

Pup, you did indeed share your recipe. It sounds divine, but I’m partial to my style…which is pretty much winging it.

guitarist, that sounds DELICIOUS!

measurements schmeasurements

A pinch of this, a dash of that, right into the schman.

Subby’s pic is definitely more unbelievable than mine.

Yours is far more appetizing.

Yeah, I should put scare quotes around ‘recipe’ whenever I write it but it’s a pain on the iPhone. And I have to pay attention to Bagoas – he sometimes gets a bit too … serious playing with the other dogs.

Crushed Snakehead with Salted Blueberry

Ingredients:
2 pints snakehead
1 blueberry
1 Tomme de Savoie cheese
5 cans four-eyed fish hoof
5 teaspoons cinnamon
3 jiggers pepper

Begin praying. Cream the snakehead with a small garlic press. Cream the snakehead with a small cleaver. Mix the blueberry with the Tomme de Savoie cheese over high heat in a jar. Pour resulting concoction over the snakehead. Stir – very unconcernedly – the four-eyed fish hoof, cinnamon, and the pepper. Heap the latter combination on to the former. Grill for 23 hours. Serves 10.

I creamed a snakehead just yesterday but I used a shovel. Found him lurking in the chicken house I did.

I creamed a snakehead just yesterday

Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

This looks like a great game.

You keep your chicken house underwater?

Sarah Palin pwns Arnold Schwarzenegger.

You keep your chicken house underwater?

Chicken-of -the-Sea.

Also, technically: Chicken coop/hen house.

You keep your chicken house underwater?

Still thinking….nope, I don’t get it. *feeling dumb*

Chicken coop/hen house.

Pedant. It has roosters (2) so isn’t a hen house. It’s not a coop because it has a large fenced in ‘run’. Poultry corral? Rooster remuda? Biddy barn? Pullet palace?

You keep your chicken house underwater?

Mortgage is paid off, very low original cost. Know some folks under water on their homes but not their barns…… nope, still don’t get it.

Ah, comes the dawn. You’re talking about the fish. Got it.

Went to a great thai restaurant in Siem Riep that had ‘snackhead’ prepared in many different ways. Haven’t been able to think about the fish any other way since then.

Next on the SyFy channel: Snackhead Terror – the story of a mutant stoner who roams the aisles at Safeway eating everything and everyone there. Rated R for violence and stupidity.

I liked the ‘snackhead in a clay pot’. Truly pan-asian, thais preparing vietnamese food in Cambodia.

Hey, tsam, watch me while I kill this thread.

Sarah Palin‘s twitintern pwns Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Fixxored for I-don’t-believe-she-can-string-together-140-letters-that-coherently-ness.

Also, Arnold is a stinking bag of fuck, but Palin can knock a buzzard off a shitwagon.

Also, technically: Chicken coop/hen house.

Only if it has two doors. If it had four doors it would be a chicken sedan.

The only reason chickens pimp their rides is that they can’t fly.

Please forgive me, for I am only a naïve conservative hick, but how is it insensitive to support our troops on the site and anniversary of Martin Luther King’s famous speech

Because you know, Dr King was basically about mass transit seating rules and didn’t oppose militarism. In fact, he is known for saying that “A nation that continues year after year to spend more money on military defense than on programs of social uplift is GREAT! Support the troops! U! S! A! U! S! A!”

(Actually, I guess Beck and MLK share some characteristics, in that King was the target of FBI harassment and Beck makes a living pretending to be a paranoid schizophrenic).

Okay, so obviously I clicked on some of the links, but I’m not clicking on the one at the bottom of each page where you can view “Renew America’s publishing standards”. I have some limits.

On Friday, the former Alaska governor wrote her own Twitter message that said: “Arnold should have landed; I could have explained our multi-billion dollar state surplus & US energy security efforts. What’s he been up to?”

Now I want him to ask her to explain Alaska’s surplus. Or anything really.

If it had four doors it would be a chicken sedan.

But what if it has only ONE door? Huh? Does that make it a chicken Isetta?

Worked in preview, we’ll see.

It makes it a Chichen Itza.

“Renew America’s publishing standards”

Patsy Cline’s Crazy is considered a standard.

Pro-choice liberals are the reason why there are back-alley abortion clinics run by unlicensed practitioners.

Hey, Judie! Don’t give the libs credit for that one–that’s just what happens when Adam Smith’s Invisible Hand meets up with God’s Ineffable Will late at night at Central Park and boom! shit goes from sublime to pornographic.

Also, Arnold is a stinking bag of fuck, but Palin can knock a buzzard off a shitwagon.

You people and your fetishes.

There are almost no alleys in Manhattan and yet abortions take place there. Where, I don’t know.

Apparently they hide all the alleys in the back, Mr. __B.

Pro-choice liberals are the reason why there are back-alley abortion clinics run by unlicensed practitioners.

That’s the mango I’m having the hardest time not clicking on. I mean, seriously? I know it’s a topsy-turvey world out there in Wingnutistan, but come on.

Liberal Fascism was written. I suppose Roe v. Wade Caused Every Coathanger Abortion shouldn’t surprise.

Begin praying.

How I start every dish I cook.

Pro-choice liberals are the reason why there are back-alley abortion clinics run by unlicensed practitioners.

We wouldn’t have dreamed of functionally skull-fucking Roe v. Wade into a coma, if only those liberal fascist pro-terrorist anti-war people hadn’t provoked us over & over with their off-key croonings of “Give Peace A Chance” & their menacingly satirical large puppets on sticks!

Plus a neurotoxic fungus Jesus told us to – & it was a double-dare … with NO BACKSIES!

Pro-choice liberals are the reason why there are back-alley abortion clinics run by unlicensed practitioners.

How does the keyboard not burst into flames when someone types something like this?

Hey, tsam, watch me while I kill this thread.

I was hanging drywall.

Rule 33.21.a: No person shall attempt a threadkill while tsam is engaged in activities not related to saying dumb shit on Sadly, No!

Sorry. I don’t make the rules, I just recite them like a snotty little bitch.

On Friday, the former Alaska governor wrote her own Twitter message that said: “Arnold should have landed; I could have explained our multi-billion dollar state surplus & US energy security efforts. What’s he been up to?”

I’d say about 35,000 feet.

Sarah. Sarah
No time is a good time for…

No, wait. Any time is a good time for goodbye.

Coop DeVille.

Now there was a car, by golly.

I’m fucking bored. Anybody out there?

You know what’s lame? Birthday emails from companies with which you’ve done business, like, once. It’s 9:00, 12:00 Eastern and my inbox is getting hammered. What a coincidence, so am I! Baaahahahaha. I don’t want to be a year older.

Turned out great. The hardest part was convincing Mrs. Another garlic potatoes eater that we really should follow the creamy clove advice of someone named “Poopiness”.

Now I can start working on that other thing he’s always trying to get us to try…

Happy b-day, tsam.

And T & U, too.

You two.

Maggie Gallagher Meets St. Peter

‘Dude, you have no Qur’an,’

Win.

Sure, these asshats have the right to be asshats, but everybody else has the right, hell, even duty to show them what asshats they are.

Also, anyone who runs squealing from a mob of Unitarians is pretty much the biggest pussy on the planet.

Actually, the whole idea of running scared from Unitarians now has me in fits of laughter. I’m going to chuckle myself to sleep.

Oh, hey, the banner has a nice Monty Python feel to it.

Win.

Dude, that’s awesome. As was your Unitarian comment.

Also happy birthday, Tsam.

You know how to renew America in 2 minutes? Give it a hand job. It’ll make America feel refreshed…then a little sleepy. But then definitely renewed. So do your patriotic duty everybody, and give our fine nation a quick handy!

So do your patriotic duty everybody, and give our fine nation a quick handy!

If you think I’m wrapping my hand around that filthy Florida, you’re wrong.

I need love too, dammit.

Psssssttttt. Hey Florida.

Renew America: “The last place on earth you’ll find intellect.”

That’s, um, not a compliment.

If you think I’m wrapping my hand around that filthy Florida, you’re wrong.

I have a box of latex gloves, don’t worry.

That’s like saying the Troubles were solved by throwing meat on Friday.

Apparently, Lady Gaga was the target.

All I wanted for my birthday was a new thread. 🙁

Thanks for the bday wishes, everyone.

Oh, and happy birthday, Tsam!

http://articles.sfgate.com/2005-04-08/entertainment/17367067_1_god-unitarian-jihad-serenity

Enjoy some eye of Newt.

You two twins separated at birth?

All I wanted for my birthday was a new thread. 🙁

Nice threads there, boy-chick. Need a hat to go with the suit?

According to MSN.com, EEOC discrimination claims about being Musilm are higher now than just after 9/11.

I’m sure it”s ’cause of Cordoba House and the entirely artificial ruckus the wingnuts have created over it. Nice job, you fuckers.

You two twins separated at birth?

Who? Tsam and me? I doubt it. Yesterday was my birthday and today is his. Plus, he’s about 10 years older than I am. That would be a weird-ass pregnancy.

What’s with all the September b-days? (Mine’s in a couple weeks. I’d like an iPad and a sparklepony. Kthanxbai.)

What’s with all the September b-days?

Oh good grief….count back nine months. Tell me what happens in March that gets people out of their cold dark homes and meeting people….

Mine’s in December.

That would be a weird-ass pregnancy.

I don’t think it’d be the ass the would look weird.

…that would look weird.

I think everybody in the office forgot about my birthday. Waaaaah! Second. Worst. Birthday. Ever.

Mine’s in December.

And apparently I can’t do math, because so is mine.

Tell me what happens in March late December and early January that gets people drunk out of their cold dark homes minds and meeting fucking people…

Second. Worst. Birthday. Ever.

So it wasn’t the worst?

See! Everything has an upside!

I think everybody in the office forgot about my birthday. Waaaaah! Second. Worst. Birthday. Ever.

The least they could have done was get you a Carvel ice-cream cake of Fudgie the First Responder.

Fudgie the First Responder Imam.

Fixed for midwestern goodness!

Except for the ten years part, you could still be twins, if one of you was born at, say, 11:55 pm and the other was born the next day at 12:10 am. And the ten years? Birth certificates, please. Besides, on the internets, no one can see you age.*

Happy birthdays to all, and to all, many more.

*Except for like YouTube, podcasts, Skype, and other modern technological stuff about which I know very little. Also, I am Marie of Rumania.

So it wasn’t the worst?

See! Everything has an upside!

My 21st was September 12, 2001. That’s a pretty high bar to overcome.

D’ Koran bans fudge! I declare jihad against Actor! Off with head!

I shouldn’t listen to NPR on Fridays (or Monday’s either, having to hear the insipid Cokie Roberts this morning). Bobo really pissed me off. I know I should just blow it off, realize it’s just pure horseshit and get on with my life, but Bobo needed a Fox News disclamer on this one:

“People are worried about increased spending and concentration of power by Democrats, and so are going to vote Republican”

This guy has a long-standing New York Times column, has respect as being a “moderate”, and yet can say something this monumentally retarded on national radio, National Public Radio in fact.

Republicans don’t spend less, you weasel-eyed moron, they spend more, they just say they spend less.

And who the concentrated the power to begin with? Why noted Democrat Richard Bruce Cheney of course.

What color is the sky in Bobo’s world?

I declare jihad against Actor! Off with head!

I wonder if Salman Rushdie needs a roommate…

The least they could have done was get you a Carvel ice-cream cake of Fudgie the First Responder.

Right? Fuckers.

Maybe they have something planned for the afternoon, but I don’t think so, since the person who gave me a ride to work said, “Oh, yesterday was your birthday?”

My 21st was September 12, 2001. That’s a pretty high bar to overcome.

Like I said, no one died in terror attacks in America on Saturday! Win!

My 21st was September 12, 2001. That’s a pretty high bar to overcome.

Saigon fell on my 16th birthday. I was one happy camper.

I shouldn’t listen to NPR on Fridays (or Monday’s either, having to hear the insipid Cokie Roberts this morning).

I’d advise doing that seven days a week, actually.

What color is the sky in Bobo’s world?

Either penis pink or asshole brown. Depends on whether he’s coming or going.

Like I said, no one died in terror attacks in America on Saturday! Win!

True.

And I had enough mobility to make myself some brownies, so that was good, too.

Hey, here’s a fun game for the family.

Give Pam Gellar a bottle of Shiraz. Wait for her to open it and pour a glass. Then tell/remind her Shiraz is a city in Southern Iran.

Now she’s stuck.

Wheeee!

And I had enough mobility to make myself some brownies, so that was good, too.

With or without fissionable materials contained within?

I’d advise doing that seven days a week, actually.

I hear ya. I like hearing the little odds and ends, but I could live without political opinions from Nice Polite Republicans. It’s depressing as hell, and crazy besides. I’ll be very surprised if the Thugs take the House.

And I had enough mobility to make myself some brownies, so that was good, too.

Oooooooh, brownies……guhhhhhhhhh-h-h-h-h-h-h-h….

I shouldn’t listen to NPR on Fridays (or Monday’s either, having to hear the insipid Cokie Roberts this morning). Bobo really pissed me off.

I have to turn it off. I’ve screamed at the radio and jabbed at the dial to turn it off in the middle of traffic at least twice.

but I could live without political opinions from Nice Polite Republicans.

Then it wouldn’t be BAAAAAAAAALLLAAAAAAANCED!

Then it wouldn’t be BAAAAAAAAALLLAAAAAAANCED!

I got NPR’s fulcrum right here…

It hit me this morning that if Christian Fundamentalism had been as powerful as they are today in the 1930’s, the New Deal wouldn’t have happened.

Aimee Semple McPherson, what hast thou wrought?

With or without fissionable materials contained within?

Without. Some melty chocolate chip thingies, though. Oh! And I added some coffee.

They’re from a gluten-free mix, and they’re surprisingly very, very good.

It hit me this morning that if Christian Fundamentalism had been as powerful as they are today in the 1930?s, the New Deal wouldn’t have happened.
Have you read The Plot Against America?

With or without fissionable materials contained within?

Without. Some melty chocolate chip thingies, though.

Fissionable chips?

Happy post-b-day, T&U!

And NPR is the worst news broadcaster in the world, except for all the other US news outlets. BBC is about the only thing better.

Fissionable chips?

Don’t forget the yellowcake.

Fissionable chips?

Don’t forget the yellowcake.

*polite golf clap*

Very nicely played, sir!

Martini?

Very nicely played, sir!

Martini?

Why, thenkyew.

Happy Day-After-Birthday, T & U and Tsam. I don’t know where I was yesterday.

I always tell everybody my birthday is exactly nine months after Halloween—and they can draw whatever conclusions they want to from that.

From STELLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH’s article:
Kerik agreed graciously to relive those events etched forever in his memory as we drove through the Big Apple in July of 2009.

You’ll note that he couldn’t actually take this drive and recount those events THIS summer because, you know, he’s in prison.

Thanks, y’all, for the birthday wishes!

Thanks, y’all, for the birthday wishes!

No thanks for pitch and roll?

Thanks, y’all, for the birthday wishes!

I wish for a million dollars.

oh, wait… YOU get the wishes?

Huh. Imagine that.

I always tell everybody my birthday is exactly nine months after Halloween—and they can draw whatever conclusions they want to from that.

Proof that those sexy costumes WORK!

I wish for a million dollars.

Your wish was granted. Since you didn’t specify, the million went to Goldman Sachs.

No thanks for pitch and roll?

Um, thanks?

I wish for a million dollars.

oh, wait… YOU get the wishes?

It’s found money. If your wish comes true, I’ll totally split it with you. After half goes to charity, of course.

Your wish was granted. Since you didn’t specify, the million went to Goldman Sachs.

I get that same present every year.

It hit me this morning that if Christian Fundamentalism had been as powerful as they are today in the 1930?s, the New Deal wouldn’t have happened.

I wonder about that, but my thought is that things were SO bad (25% unemployment, farms disappearing daily) that people didn’t care about all that fundamentalism crap anymore. That nonsense tends to take a back seat to avoiding starvation. Democrats (Northern, not insane type) tended to have a talent for exposing social justice as a Christian value. Today, they can’t seem to figure that out.

No thanks for pitch and roll?

Um, thanks?

I gotta explain everything: yaw, pitch, roll.

I gotta explain everything: yaw, pitch, roll.

Oh, I get it. I didn’t make the connection.

I could have explained our multi-billion dollar state surplus & US energy security efforts.

Hey, I could’ve explained, too, and I’ve been governor for even less time than you have: leeching way more from the Federal government than you pay in taxes, and keeping America hooked on gulping oil even though the pittance you can produce will never ever possibly be enough especially if you assholes keep quashing sensible usage, efficiency and renewable development efforts like you always do. YOU’RE WELCOME!

No thanks for pitch and roll?

They tasted too pine-y.

Happy birthday to T&U and tsam!

I always tell everybody my birthday is exactly nine months after Halloween—and they can draw whatever conclusions they want to from that.

Mine’s 9 months after my dad’s birthday. Heh heh.

Pitch rolls – don’t they sell those at Stuckey’s?

I was born nine months after mom and dad visited Paris. (France, not Texas)

Roll pitching was a favorite activity around the table at our place at Thanksgiving.

My favorite part of the third column- the part that wasn’t just mindless gibberish- was his comparison of the military burning unsolicted bibles- and Whackadoo Mcgee burning the Koran- because it showcases to seperate logical errors- not just comparing unrelated cases, but also the inability to account for intent and/or propriety- I mean somehow I doubt he’d have a similar reaction if I pointed out that the Boy Scouts, the American Legion and the US Military all burn the Flag.

Mine’s 9 months after my dad’s birthday. Heh heh.

So it DOES work that way sometimes.

Sorry if that’s too much…;)

Tell me what happens in March that gets people out of their cold dark homes and meeting people

Ah, March!

In like Flynn & out like tapioca, or some such like.

My 21st was September 12, 2001. That’s a pretty high bar to overcome.

♬ Happy Afterbirth day to you, don’t get et by a grue, bite his guts if you dooooo-ooooooooooooo … Happy Afterbirth Day to you! ♬

Mine’s 9 months after my dad’s birthday.

So…immediately after your mother gave birth to your father he impregnated her?

No thanks for pitch and roll?

Dude, I gave her a bitchin’ roll but she was sedated.

Have you read The Plot Against America?

I started it again last night after reading one too many “Muslims go home” comment.

But yeah, Christian fundamentalism was a huge deal back then too. Gave us good things (abolitionism, social gospel) and bad things (Prohibition, hardcore anti-Catholicism/Judaism). But it was a big part of firing up the Republican base. And I’d have to agree with the notion that it was the Great Depression that broke its back by making things so bad that they just didn’t care anymore, they needed to eat.

Happy Afterbirth Day to you! ?

Her mom’s placenta thanks you.

? Happy Afterbirth day to you, don’t get et by a grue, bite his guts if you dooooo-ooooooooooooo … Happy Afterbirth Day to you! ?

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

? Happy Afterbirth day to you, don’t get et by a grue, bite his guts if you dooooo-ooooooooooooo … Happy Afterbirth Day to you! ?

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

Play ballll!!!

Cokie Roberts is Gary Ruppert

“… the fact is, George Bush ran on bringing harmony to Washington, and thought he could work across the aisle as he had in Texas, but the 2000 election left everybody with—so angry that he was unable to do thta”

Play ballll!!!

I wanna throw out the first placenta!

the 2000 election

The 2000 appointment.

and thought he could work across the aisle as he had in Texas, but the 2000 election left everybody with—so angry that he was unable to do that

Yeah, stealing an election will do that.

And Texas Dems are Repug Lite, from what I understand. Good god, did she never read Molly Ivins?

Good god, did she never read Molly Ivins?

Fixediddly for more accuratey goodness.

thenkyew also too.

Gawd, I despise Corkie Roberts.

Cokie Roberts has always come across to me as the female version of David Broder.

Cokie Roberts has always come across to me as the female version of David Broder.

If only someone, you know, covered DC, instead of recording it.

George Bush ran on bringing harmony to Washington, and thought he could work across the aisle as he had in Texas, but the 2000 election left everybody with—so angry that he was unable to do thta

Yeah, and he was notoriously honest(AND SO HUMBLE!), so we KNOW he tooootally meant to work hand in hand with Dems who weren’t all Texas DINO ass kissers.

Mine’s 9 months after my dad’s birthday.

Mine’s 9 months after my dad’s birthday.

Ahh, birthday sex.

Ahh, birthday sex.

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah. Nothing like that gift box from AdamandEve.com and a fresh pile of Kleenex…
.
.
.
.
.
What?

“And Texas Dems are Repug Lite, from what I understand. Good god, did she never read Molly Ivins?”

Um, no. Molly Ivins ring a bell? You just mentioned her. Die-hard Texan. There are plenty of good Democrats here.

Democrats (Northern, not insane type) tended to have a talent for exposing social justice as a Christian value. Today, they can’t seem to figure that out.

Weelllll…. Nowadays lotsa folks tend to look down their noses at anything or anyone identified as “Christian.” Or relgious in any way, for that matter. I could name names but I’m not gonna. Y’all can commence hitting me with your handbags now.

The 2000 appointment.

WIN DETECTED

If only someone, you know, covered DC, instead of recording it.

You have to distract rubes with the mindless mob of craven stenographers you HAVE, not the mindless mob of craven stenographers you WISH you had.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/afterbirthers-demand-to-see-obamas-placenta,6866/
WASHINGTON–In the continuing controversy surrounding the president’s U.S. citizenship, a new fringe group informally known as “Afterbirthers” demanded Monday the authentication of Barack Obama’s placenta from his time inside his mother’s womb. “All we are asking is that the president produce a sample of his fetal membranes and vessels—preferably along with a photo of the crowning and delivery—and this will all be over,” said former presidential candidate and Afterbirthers spokesman Alan Keyes, later adding that his organization would be willing to settle for a half-liter of maternal cord plasma.

I declare jihad against Actor! Off with head!

dibs

I declare jihad against Actor! Off with head!

dibs

I was donating it to science.

I was donating it to science.

A piece at a time?

That can lead to recurring media-scouting calls from EIB & FOX, you know.

I gotta explain everything: yaw, pitch, roll.

“Yaw? What’s yaws?”
“That’s very kind. I’ll have a double Laphroaig.”

Second. Worst. Birthday. Ever.
So it wasn’t the worst?

It’s hard to beat the one with the blood and screaming and the sudden cold air and bright light after the nice warm darkness. After that episode I’ve asked the Frau Doktorin for no more surprise parties, please.

I was donating it to science.

Science called and said they don’t accept damaged goods.

But if it’s a problem, give it to Smut (he’s kind of a scientist), and after they are done playing disturbing bar games with it at the Old Entomologist, he can send it along to me.

Last time Smut got a dead head he went around saying, “these are my eyes, nice-a eyes!” Then there was the trouble with the martinis.

Science called and said they don’t accept damaged goods.

I didn’t say it was a large donation.

That can lead to recurring media-scouting calls from EIB & FOX, you know.

I thought I’d get those after my brain was gone.

Then there was the trouble with the martinis.
Not true. We look after eye tissue carefully.

Gary Dalton don’t need his eyes to see,
Gary Dalton and his eyes have parted company…

We look after eye tissue carefully.

Dalton? Of Dalton’s law? Was colourblind?

No wonder partial pressure is such a fucked up concept!