Some Of My Best Friends Are Hairdressers
Posted on August 27th, 2010 by Tintin
Shorter Peter Wehner, Neo-contentious
On Ken Mehlman
- Republicans are not prejudiced against gays. In fact, every Republican I know would let Elton John sing at their heterosexual wedding.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
If some of my best friends were hairdressers my hair would look better.
The linky comes up “page not found”. Is he already regretting it?
[My bad. Link fixed. -Tintin]
Pfft. ALL of my best hairdressers are friends.
Looks like they pulled the mangoes. Too bad the guy has such a boring name. Otherwise we could just make fun of that instead.
Wait – ALL of my best friends are hairdressers.
No, that’s not it either.
Let me work on this – I’ll get back to you.
Also WP is NOT among my friends, hairdresser or not.
They didn’t pull the mangoes, the link is broken. Remove the final double quote.
I broke up with my hair stylist a couple of years ago because, well, he didn’t fucking listen to what I said. It took me a while because he’s married to a friend of mine and I didn’t want to piss her off.
Everybody EVERYBODY *EVERYBODY* thinks he’s gay.
And he’s a hardcore Republican.
The linky comes up “page not found”
Link works if you remove the final quote marks that Tintin has added for reasons of lol.
And they prefer to be called “stylists” dear. They rather inist on it actually.
That’s it! All of my hairdresers are pissy fucking queens. THAT’s what I meant to say!
Hairdressers are wasted on that dude. Friends probably would be, too.
OFFS.
The first thing I see: “Conference on Muslim Antisemitism.”
Yeah, because most of you motherfuckers gave a SHIT about Antisemitism before you realized you could use it as a weapon against Muslims.
And they prefer to be called “stylists” dear. They rather inist on it actually.
Yes. “Hairdresser” doesn’t give proper deference to their art.
And because it’s Friday and almost 5:00 and this week has sucked.
“Also WP is NOT among my friends, hairdresser or not.”
If WP were your stylist, it’d get bored halfway through your cut and you’d end up with crazyhead.
Oh,. and not only did my gay Republican friend not listen to me, he also took FOR FUCKING EVER to finish.
Ladies and gentlemen, see the horrifying Human VPR! Roll up, roll up!
most of the conservatives I know are largely to completely indifferent to a person’s sexual orientation.
True Dat. Sort of. If you squint. No one gave a shit about Mark Foley’s pedobearishness, Larry Craig’s penchant for the tea rooms, David Dreier’s rough trade excursions, Rush Limbaugh’s boysex junkets, and so on. Until they had a good reason to care about the politics of it. And most conservatives would never, ever call the gentleman from Massachusetts “Barney Fag.” Nor would most conservatives applaud Anne Coulter’s description democrats as “all fags.” Nor….
Oh never mind.
Also, when I get out of the salon my hair looks so good I wanna walk in slow motion and pay someone with a fan to follow me around all day. The next day it’s back to rats’ nest. What kind of freaky voodoo are the stylists practicing?
“They are the kind of people who might even invite Elton John to perform at their weddings and not give a second thought to the fact that John is gay.”
Uh huh.
Is there some sort of sexual orientation equivalent of a conservative saying, “Oh, I’m totes colorblind! You’re the racist for even talking about race, racist!”? Because that’s what this is.
What kind of freaky voodoo are the stylists practicing?
Fucking blowouts, how do they work?
Link fixed. Sorry. I left out the opening pair of quotes in the anchor tag.
Oh my Jesus God fuck Christ what the fuck??????
I note the absence of male and female categories.
Any asian kids at that school?
“Fucking blowouts, how do they work?”
Omg, yes.
Btw, I once called a salon and requested a “blow job”. I shit you not. I am an idiot.
Btw, I once called a salon and requested a “blow job”. I shit you not. I am an idiot.
Holy fuck, I just choked on my candy. That’s fucking great.
“TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 27, 2010 at 23:42
Oh my Jesus God fuck Christ what the fuck??????”
I can’t even joke about this
And regardless of whether or not one agrees with Ken’s position, he will add to, rather than subtract from, the substance of the discussion. That is more than can be said for the haters.
By haters, he means people who think gays should be allowed to get married. OK.
They are the kind of people who might even invite Elton John to perform at their weddings and not give a second thought to the fact that John is gay.
They are the kind of people who might even invite Sammy Davis, Jr. to perform at their weddings and not give a second thought to the fact that he was black. Unlike liberals, who would be all like, oh shit, it’s a negro!
There you have it. Conservatives are as tolerant of gay performers now as they were of black entertainers during segregation. So who’s the real bigot, bigot?
I note the absence of male and female categories.
Paul said that women are never supposed to lead men. Even if they’re sixth-graders.
“Holy fuck, I just choked on my candy. That’s fucking great.”
It’s a good story tell but at the time I was like omfg.
As long as it’s not a space-slash.
It’s a good story tell but at the time I was like omfg.
I would have just hung up. Unless I already gave my name. And then I still probably would have hung up. I definitely would never have gone back there again.
Or I would have laughed like an insane person and told my HIIIIIIIILARIOUS story to everyone. It would depend on my mood.
My former stylist was one of my best friends; he passed away 4 years ago. I always told him to just do whatever with my hair. It grows like a fucking weed, so any “oopsies!” are not long-term problems. Plus, I once heard him tell a fussy customer who was second-guessing what he was doing, “hey…I’m the one fucking this monkey – you’re just holding his tail!” And she was an older woman, too. I damn near fell out of my chair when he told her that.
Jews are the real Nazis.
On Ken Mehlman
Does this mean Weiner is a top?
“Or I would have laughed like an insane person and told my HIIIIIIIILARIOUS story to everyone. It would depend on my mood.”
Oh, I just went…hoping my gaffe would be forgotten by then.
Jennifer said,
August 27, 2010 at 23:55
He sounds really awesome. I’m sorry. :/
He sounds like a hoot. And maybe a half!!
It’s a good story tell but at the time I was like omfg.
Reminds me of the time my wife was calling around to nautical supply shops looking for a handheld sextant. Her cow-orkers were hearing “hand-held sex toy” which raised some eyebrows.
That “haters” line is pretty great.
Didn’t Assrocket already do this?
“. Her cow-orkers were hearing “hand-held sex toy” which raised some eyebrows.”
They were probably just thinking the little remote control ones you wear under panties are mor discreet
“They are the kind of people who might even invite Elton John to perform at their weddings and not give a second thought to the fact that John is gay.”
And the kind of people who might even hire blacks or immigrants to serve food at their weddings and not give a second thought to the fact that they’re poor riffraff. But yeah, they gotta wear gloves.
“That “haters” line is pretty great.”
Isn’t it though?
“They were probably just thinking the little remote control ones you wear under panties are mor discreet”
Not sure why I went full retard here. I blame iPhone.
Btw, I once called a salon and requested a “blow job”. I shit you not. I am an idiot.
Silly girl. Why would you think those pissy queens would let you?
the little remote control ones you wear under panties
It is just as well that I read the whole thread before complaining about the tastelessness of joking about IEDs.
Any asian kids at that school?
Was Bobby Jindal in student government? Or that twat in South Carolina…what’s her name?
Oh,. and not only did my gay Republican friend not listen to me, he also took FOR FUCKING EVER to finish.
The first woman to ever complain about this.
“…the little remote control ones you wear under panties are mor discreet”
Don’t know how she’d hide the choke collar and ball gag though.
Oh…have I said too much?
Smut mis-spelled IUDs.
“Btw, I once called a salon and requested a “blow job”. I shit you not. I am an idiot.
Silly girl. Why would you think those pissy queens would let you?”
I know. How presumptuous am I?
“Oh…have I said too much?”
Hey. What goes on in other people’s dungeons is none o’ my business
Smut mis-spelled IUDs.
Are those tasteless? WHO KNEW?
Are those tasteless?
Yeah, but at least they’re chewey.
Alas, no.
most of the conservatives I know are largely to completely indifferent to a person’s sexual orientation.
I can honestly say most of the conservatives I know aren’t, and that’s a fact.
Fucking frying tofu–how does it work?
Fucking frying tofu–how does it work?
Well first, you gotta answer a question: you want to fuck it or fry it? Speaking strictly for myself, I’d say choose one or the other, not both. Or at least be very careful of order.
That made me laugh. 😀
I tried this morning to shave my own head. It was harder than I thought.
Ask Britney for how-to advice.
RE: “every Republican I know would let Elton John sing at their heterosexual wedding” – Herr Wehner
MY COMMENT: So many ostensibly heterosexual Republicans; so much abysmally poor taste. RuPaul and her million dollar derrière would add quite a great deal of savoir-faire!
So, I walk from my apartment to CVS and back. Five minute walk, tops. Along the way, a dozen teabaggers at least all suited up in their Glenn-Beck’s-Speaking-But-It-Ain’t-Political-And-The-MLK-Anniversary?-Total-Coincidence regalia, plus one teabagger car with so many stickers on it you literally (literally) can’t see the surface (at all) and a Don’t Tread On Me flag to top it all.
I feel like Sean Connery and Harrison Ford at that book burning rally in The Last Crusade. “My boy, we’re pilgrims in an unholy land!”
Those of you in Real America will laugh at my low tolerance, but this is DC, I’m not as used to teabaggers fouling the air – and when you know they’re all coming in from out of state, it’s just a pain in the ass. Oh, and these guys I just saw? They were all staying at the Marriot Wardman Park Hotel, where CPAC was this past winter. Let me tell you, the Marriot Wardman Park Hotel? Real working class salt of the earth joint, oh fer sure you betcha doncha know!
Republicans are not prejudiced against gays.
no, they just think they have inexplicably chosen a morally degenerate lifestyle that hurts the american family
it’s a considered judgment, not a pre-judgment
Republicans are not prejudiced against gays who vote Republican.
fixx0r3d!
Meanwhile, I’m looking forward to the veritable Katrina of wingnut spin-doctoring that’s sure to come in the wake of Beck’s “I Have A Nightmare” Hurpdurpenburg Rally this weekend. Let the good times roll!
How do you “forget” that Elton John is gay? How long does this special bit of amnesia last? Does the memory come back at random times, and you find yourself saying, “Oh, shit, he’s gay?”
Michael Moore claims to be opposed to dwarf banshee abuse but what about that dwarf banshee incinerator mentioned in the vault copy?
Yes they are. They’ll still blow them in an alley or put on the 3rd or 4th layer wetsuit, but, yeah, they’re still prejudiced.
Local Water Tower Celebrates 50th Year As Repository Of Information On Who Is A Slut
The first woman to ever complain about this.
LOLWUT?
Wake me when you’re done.
The first woman to ever complain about this.
LOLWUT?
Just what I see on the cover of Cosmo–right after I remove the plastic shield that the puritanical assholes around here like to place in front of the famous cleavage. I don’t leave women like that.
T&U–AKT mail…
OT;
Did anyone else digitally sign Markos Quixote’s petition to end the filibuster? I did. I’m not sure how I feel about this filibuster business. I’m not sure if I’m willing to suffer the consequences of another Repuke majority without it. Justice Bork, anyone?
I think I’d rather sign a petition to get rid of the Senate completely. I don’t like the equal part representation from little pissant shitface states like Idaho and Wyoming. But then the Constitution is the Constitution and there was a purpose for it–I guess.
You “people” and your stupid “lives” and your stupid “stuff you do” on a stupid “Friday night”.
WhatEVER
<i<jim said,
August 28, 2010 at 4:28
Republicans are not prejudiced against gays who vote Republican.
fixx0r3d!
Meanwhile, I’m looking forward to the veritable Katrina of wingnut spin-doctoring that’s sure to come in the wake of Beck’s “I Have A Nightmare” Hurpdurpenburg Rally this weekend. Let the good times roll!
And just make sure to stay out of certain parts of D.C. when asking a hairdressers for a blowjob.
A friend would like to know: What is a good part of D.C. when asking a hairdresser for a blow job?
You mean, “This Generation’s Woodstock!”
Of course, by “this generation” he meant the one that parented the actual Woodstockers, not the one currently coming of age.
More here.
Of course, by “this generation” he meant the one that parented the actual Woodstockers, not the one currently coming of age.
No, I think you’ll find that most teabaggers are members of the actual Woodstock Generation, aka “Baby Boomers”. They’re the members of the generation that didn’t go to Woodstock because all those hippies are a bunch of dirty filthy draft-dodging Commies.
No, I think you’ll find that most teabaggers are members of the actual Woodstock Generation, aka “Baby Boomers”.
Yes, part of the same group that elected all of the lousy leaders we’ve had for the last 30 years and destroyed the future for my 3 teenage daughters.
Yeah, but I was busting on the picture.
There seem to be quite a few retirees in the crowd, though, and the boomers are just getting there. There do appear to be quite a lot of elder folks amongst them..
There sure aren’t bound to be all that many teatards of the actual “this generation” at any rate.
Power corrupts, and they are one hell of a demographic lump.
…
Also, too, I liked the comment at Wonkette that just said “Confederacy of Douches.”
> “They are the kind of people who might even invite Elton John to perform at their weddings”
So, all the conservatives he knows can afford to hire Elton John. Figures.
Blasphemy! An office building/tourist destination full of people of all types doesn’t pander to a bunch of loons. Jebus is disapppointed, sniffles.
So, hey, kids. If I ever complain again, please to remind me that I could always fall off my bike, break three ankle bones, and need surgery.
On the upside: Percoset!
Is the hairdresser seed inherited from the mother or the father?
Is the hairdresser seed inherited from the mother or the father?
Yes.
So, how’s the Million Moron March going there in D.C.?
Don’t know and no intention of finding out, I’m staying at home to take care of a cold. Which is just fine with me.
I think it is good that Glenn Beck is, in this hard economic times, helping to boost the industry of Uncle Sam costume makers.
James Taranto:
Why can’t Muslims exploit it? Everyone else does.
Don’t know and no intention of finding out, I’m staying at home to take care of a cold. Which is just fine with me.
Yeesh. Lock your doors, dude!
From Sub’s link:
Rhetorical trump cards work because there is truth in them. For instance, calling Teabaggers “unicorns” wouldn’t really work as a rhetorical trump card.
Sub’s link, where Taranto says “because Krauthammer:”
Keep slammin’ that message home. If we just would have given Bushco 4 more years, everything would be GREAT now!
Huh. I didn’t see that coming. I figured the teabaggers were going to display their not racism you are the real racist selves but so far it appears to a Christian supremacy rally.
Pull out the bigotry charge, the trump that preempts debate and gives no credit to the seriousness and substance of the contrary argument.”
Except when the bigotry is very real and the contrary argument has no substance. It is serious, however. 1 for 3 for da shithammer.
Million Moron March
Confederacy of Deuches
Dick Armey’s Army of Dicks (or is that the next one?)
The “I Have a Scheme Speech”
Zombie Fr. Cotton is on now.
Christian supremacy rally.
Fallback tactic… When mainstream people figure out you’re a racist, homophobic asshole, you appeal to their fear of hell. Works every time.
My mom is good friends with an Uber-Christian. She knew the war was wrong, she knew torture was wrong, she knew that leaving people to rot and die in N.O. was wrong, and called it “troublesome”. However, she felt compelled to support Bush because he’s a “good Christian man”. Her words. She’s pretty lucky I didn’t hear her say that shit. I’m sure my mom gave her the business, but not nearly to the extreme that I would have.
Now we know why the country has become “ungovernable,” last year’s excuse for the Democrats’ failure of governance: Who can possibly govern a nation of racist, nativist, homophobic Islamophobes?
And that, in fairness, is a pretty good question at times.
The New Deal or something like it could have been passed as early as 1900 in a rational world; Americans of all stripes and origins wanted it (as shown by the near-unanimous support Roosevelt eventually got). Why did we have to wait thirty years? Because rural Protestant farmers and urban Catholic and Jewish workers couldn’t get over their fear of each other, an antipathy that ran deeper than their antipathy to the corporate elite until said elite finally drove the car over the cliff in the Great Depression.
Acknowledging the hold of identity politics on the American people isn’t anything but simple realism. I’m not going to forego calling racism racism just because it hurts the racists’ feelings.
Now speaking, Alveda “I am NOT the bigot of the family” King.
I’m not going to forego calling racism racism just because it hurts the racists’ feelings.
But what about Krauthammer’s defense? Don’t they have the right to couch messages of freedom inside blatant racism and petulant temper tantrums and still be taken seriously?
Who’s the real racist NOW?
PawPawPalooza
PudPudPoopLoser
Okay, I’m taking the bait.
Resistance to the vast expansion of government power, intrusiveness and debt, as represented by the Tea Party movement? Why, racist resentment toward a black president.
As I recall, death threats to the White House went up several hundred percent the minute he was inaugurated, when we had no idea what his policies were going to be yet. The teabaggers started rallying against the stimulus and HCR in the late winter of 2009, long before they had any idea what either one was going to do or look like.
Look at the timing. It wasn’t a reaction to his policies, it was a reaction to his election. Whether that’s because he’s black, liberal, or middle-named Hussein, I can’t say, but I suspect option 1 has more than a few followers.
Disgust and alarm with the federal government’s unwillingness to curb illegal immigration, as crystallized in the Arizona law? Nativism.
And, of course, that’s why you want to repeal the Fourteen Amendment. To repatriate all the unborn fetuses who broke the law by being carried across the border. There’s not the slightest thing racial in that part of the equation.
Opposition to the most radical redefinition of marriage in human history, as expressed in Proposition 8 in California? Homophobia.
That’s funny, I would have thought the transition from polygamy to monogamy would be at least as radical a redefinition. Especially since it happened after Christ had come and died and had no basis whatsoever in Biblical scripture. Did any of you Biblical literalists ever object to that?
Opposition to a 15-story Islamic center and mosque near Ground Zero? Islamophobia.
There’s maybe twenty or thirty percent of the population that opposes Park51 but supports 1) their right to build it and 2) the existence of mosques just not that one because it’s in a sensitive location. Those people, I can sit down and have a talk with.
But those people are moderates, not conservatives. The rest (the core) of the opposition to Park51 comes from people who are angry that there’s a mosque in Mecca, let alone New York city. Open the PJTV main page at any point in the last month and peruse the comments section if you have any doubt that these people look at Muslims the same way their spiritual forefathers once looked at Jews.
Opposition to a 15-story Islamic center and mosque near Ground Zero? Islamophobia.
Is there something especially significant about the fact that it’s 15 stories? That’s really not even that tall.
“if you have any doubt that these people look at Muslims the same way they, if drunk enough, would tell you they still look at Jews.”
Fix’d.
Is there something especially significant about the fact that it’s 15 stories? That’s really not even that tall.
It’s a dude thing. You wouldn’t understand.
– Resistance to the vast expansion of government power, intrusiveness and debt, as represented by the Tea Party movement? Why, racist resentment toward a black president.
It would be a little easier to think them sincere if they’d said ANYTHING against these during the last white president’s two terms.
However, she felt compelled to support Bush because he’s a “good Christian man”.
Sounds like my mom, too. I told her a real Christian wouldn’t be pro-torture, wouldn’t fake evidence to invade countries, wouldn’t mock the penitent pleas of a woman on death row, etc. Nothing worked. I think she still believes he’s a good Christian man, but at least now she recognizes he was a pretty crappy president.
Open the PJTV main page M
No. You can’t make me.
No. You can’t make me.
The suggestion was for Chuck K only. No one in the S, N! crew deserves such shabby treatment.
It would be a little easier to think them sincere if they’d said ANYTHING against these during the last white president’s two terms.
I thought the same thing. Where the fuck were all you assholes when Bush was doing donuts in his hot rod all over the Constitution? Oh, that’s right, you were on the sidelines cheering him on and manufacturing chickenshit excuses for being such a limp dicked pussy that you don’t mind sacrificing your liberties for what you stupidly believed was security. Yeah, not really buying this whole freedom argument. It rings awfully hollow after your behavior during the Bush years.
FYWP. That first sentence is credited to tigris. Imagine, if you will, italics.
t(he)sam breaks another one! W00t!
So, hey, kids. If I ever complain again, please to remind me that I could always fall off my bike, break three ankle bones, and need surgery.
I hope this won’t interfere with you going to vote.
Is there something especially significant about the fact that it’s 15 stories? That’s really not even that tall.
It’s a dude thing. You wouldn’t understand.
It’s not 15 stories. It’s 13 with a DD cup.
Krauthammer really hates it when broad reductive claims about an underlying pathology are used to explain popular resistance to the vast expansion of government power, intrusiveness and debt.
See also “Bush Derangement Syndrome”.
In fact, every Republican I know would let Elton John sing at their heterosexual wedding.
Late to the game, but I gotta say that they’d also allow Negroes to work as waiters at said wedding.
Late to the game, but I gotta say that they’d also allow Negroes to work as waiters at said wedding.
And Messicans to bus tables.