The Unbearable Irksomeness of Irky


ABOVE: Erick Erickson demonstrates his true expertise

Shorter Irky Irksome, Red State Scare
By Faith: I Am Proud of Franklin Graham

  • I, for one, will not truly believe Obama’s claim that he’s a Christian and not a Muslim until I see the long-form vault copy of his baptismal certificate.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™


 

Comments: 480

 
 
 

From the Mango fields:

“By faith and history, Franklin Graham understands that there is only one way, one Truth, and one life. No one goes to the Father except through Jesus Christ. No one.”

“Our dog is better than your dog.

Neener neener neener!”

Oh, and Irky? Nice quotes for the ol’ Al-Queda recruitment station bulletin board.

 
 

Brave Sir Erick the Red-Faced shall lead the New Crusades from the front of the lines! from his computer, microwave and refridge-equipped command post in Macon!

 
 

No one goes to the Father except through Jesus Christ.

I, for one, reject religious faith that requires intestinal spelunking.

 
 

I shouldn’t have read that…

He makes the point that Christianity is supposed to be more evolved than Islam, having had a 700-year head start- then bashes that “evovled” viewpoint, staunchly defending primitivism in Christianity. Way to show how different you are from the Taliban, Irk.

 
 

The very INSTANT we have force-field technology, we really must set up Heinlein’s Coventry, so fuckheads like Irk can have some place to thumb their noses at society without continuing to rip at its fabric.

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

I can tell from his words and acts that Erick Erickson is a true Christian.

 
 

I await calls from the birthers for the baptismal certificate.

The cool thing about Christianity is that neato certificate you get proving you’re a Christian. You can wear it around your arm and everything!

 
 

Some people say “I couldn’t care less”. You know, people who aren’t retarded.

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

My version of the Shorter would be “religious leaders shouldn’t be held to rational standards when they say crazy shit.”

 
 

As Juan Cole and a billion other Muslims point out, Islam is a faith, not a descent group like Jewishness.

 
 

Well at least he a Graham “could care less.” So there’s hope.

 
 

Well, where’s your birth certificate, Irk? Or should I say, Swedish Swedishson?!

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

Re: sammich. I have notes.

 
 

Hey. I’ve got a gloppy overripe mango for you:

“By faith we believe, we persevere, and we know that there will be a last day and a final judgment. On that day we who persevere win because Christ wins against this world. It is that simple. It is that offensive. ”

You’re welcome.

 
 

and we know that there will be a last day

…and we will do everything in our power to attempt to bring it about.

 
 

Thank you Erick Erickson. I’m so glad we can have all these really meaningful, in-depth discussions over just how many angels can dance on the head of a fucking pin.

Next topic: how many prehensile-tailed primates can take to the air from Franklin Graham’s anus?

 
 

“and we know that there will be a last day

…and we will do everything in our power to attempt to bring it about.”

‘Cuz worrying about climate change is HARD! also algore is fat!

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

Alt alt Shorter: “why isn’t the MSM engaging in a serious discussion of the heritability of religious traits?”

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

That is an ADORABLE hamburger!

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Too many vegetables, though.

 
 

“I think the Erik’s problem is that he was born a fucking Moron, his father was a Moron. The seed of Moron is passed through the father like the seed of Stupid is passed through the mother. He was born a Moron, his father gave him a Stupid Fucking Moronic name,”

 
 

No one goes to the Father except through Jesus Christ.

P.I.M.P.

 
 

Silly liberals, Obama is a morisco. The Islam is in his blood.

 
 

Ye shall know him by his sangwich.

 
 

Shorter Erikkk son of Erickkk:

“One race, one nation, one leader!*”

 
 

One of the commenters says once a Muslim always a Muslim. Conversion is moot. I guess newt Gingrich isn’t really a catholic.

 
 

“No one goes to the Father except through Jesus Christ.”

Not a pimp, a financial advisor who is only looking out for your long term spiritual financial welfare. Please inspect our prospectus. We believe we can offer you a really good deal on some primo spiritual real estate for a modest investment of just a little bit of your soul calculated per annum. The deed to your soul will held against your spiritual mortgage until you have made payment in full. Don’t worry, the spiritual free market on souls always goes up. We expect BIG returns!

 
 

I guess newt Gingrich isn’t really a catholic.

He worships Jabba the Hutt, deity of choice for discriminating amphibians.
~

 
 

Well, where’s your birth certificate, Irk? Or should I say, Swedish Swedishson?!

I’m tired of all these Viking-Americans undermine our nation with their barbarian raid horde law.

 
 

…due to double standards, there was no outcry over the State Department putting the Ground Zero mosque imam on the payroll.

Or, y’know, due to the fact that nobody is claiming we’re at war with any other religion.

Dumbfuck.

 
 

And believing in Jesus is all that is necessary to be one of teh Chosen and go to Heaven Forever.

Living and behaving in accordance with his teachings is not only unnecessary, but ludicrous, because Jesus was only joking when he said “give your money to the poor” and booted the moneychangers. Jesus was a real card; heck he was a Whole Pack Of Cards!

 
 

Jesus was only joking when he said “give your money to the poor” and booted the moneychangers.

As always, the rules are for the other guy.

 
 

He makes the point that Christianity is supposed to be more evolved than Islam, having had a 700-year head start- then bashes that “evovled” viewpoint, staunchly defending primitivism in Christianity. Way to show how different you are from the Taliban, Irk.

Another trope on the right; fear and hate the secularists and religious liberals, all the while taking credit for all the reforms they shoved down your throat as if they were your idea all along.

 
 

I’m tired of all these Viking-Americans undermine our nation with their barbarian raid horde law.

Plus, I hate their hats.

 
 

He makes the point that Christianity is supposed to be more evolved than Islam, having had a 700-year head start

Christianity is no more evolved. People just got better at not listening to the church.

 
 

Are all Swedes that fat?

 
 

Actually, aren’t most Swedes quite trim and quite, um, liberal? Earache Son of Earache is so not Swedish.

 
 

we know that there will be a last day and a final judgment

Jebus is coming! Everybody look busy!

 
 

Wherever Erickson is going in the afterlife, that’s where I don’t want to be.

 
 

To be honest, I hope there is a God just so people like erickerickeicksonerick get the punishment they deserve. And so I can ask Her a few questions regarding space travel.

 
 

“I’m tired of all these Viking-Americans undermine our nation with their barbarian raid horde law.”

Brent Farve tried the barbarian raid horde offense but he just didn’t execute it properly.

 
 

Jebus is coming! Everybody look busy!

*whistles innocently* Oh, hey, JC!

 
 

“Are all Swedes that fat?”

You’d loose your appetite if you ever had a big chunk of lutefisk on your plate too.

 
 

Bill Maher’s Religulous nails this shit like a nail in a cross. The fact that we have policymakers, who believe that they have The Answers to questions man cannot answe, actually making policy should make all pray to something because we’re fucked.

 
 

Brent Farve tried the barbarian raid horde offense but he just didn’t execute it properly.

I am continually disappointed by Eli Manning’s inability to make bread with bones of his opponents.

 
 

Erickerickerickericksneric’s new clothing line:

http://www.zazzle.com/jesus_brb_tshirt-235950009684360889

 
 

I am continually disappointed by Eli Manning’s inability to make bread with bones of his opponents.

Or turn head wounds into wine.

 
 

I am continually disappointed by Eli Manning’s inability to make bread with bones of his opponents.

Too much calcium, not enough leavening.

 
 

He makes the point that Christianity is supposed to be more evolved than Islam, having had a 700-year head start- then bashes that “evovled” viewpoint, staunchly defending primitivism in Christianity. Way to show how different you are from the Taliban, Irk.

Well, fuck, by that measure the most advanced continuously existing faith in the history of human civilization is Hinduism as the Rigveda written about 1700 BCE and closely resembling on an earlier Persian work maybe dating from 2200 BCE.

 
 

Take that back — the Egyptian religious “Pyramid Texts” written probably 2400 BCE.

 
 

And, of course, there’s POOP.

 
 

Speaking of Egyptians, wasn’t the Egyptian god Horus born of a virgin? Didn’t he walk on water, heal the sick, die and resurrect?

Talk about plagiarism.

 
 

“Well, fuck, by that measure the most advanced continuously existing faith in the history of human civilization is Hinduism”

Hinduism isn’t a religion because Jesus.

 
 

I’faith, I am proud of Dave the Hat.

 
 

This is for you vacuumslayer.

 
 

I don’t know about Horus, but one of the earliest recorded forms of monotheism was in Egypt, under Pharaoh Akhenaten (who tried, and failed, to use the new religion to break the clergy’s hold on society).

Some people, I believe, have even speculated that’s where the Hebrews got the idea in the first place.

 
 

Hinduism isn’t a religion because Jesus RealAmerica.

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

Some people, I believe, have even speculated that’s where the Hebrews got the idea in the first place.

I hope you enjoy BURNING IN HELL.

 
 

This is for you vacuumslayer.

I’m as serious as Earache’s imminent heart attack* when I say I’m buying one.

*Just in case the mighty Atrios is reading and feeling ban-happy, this is a joke. As far as I know, the jackass is perfectly healthy and I’m certainly not wishing him health problems.

 
 

I hope you enjoy BURNING IN HELL ONE DOWN.

Fixxxt — and I will.

 
 

Let’s keep America, America! C’mon, guys!

 
 

I’m buying one

I’m helping the economy!

 
 

I’m helping the economy!

You sure are! *pats head*

 
 

Shouldn’t that be a big shit sammich Irk Irksome is about to chow down on?

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

Madonna and child.

The Starbuck’s logo got in there somehow.

 
 

The Starbuck’s logo got in there somehow.

That’s the “whore us” part.

 
 

That’s the “whore us” part.

the lulz are strong with this one.

 
 

He makes the point that Christianity is supposed to be more evolved than Islam, having had a 700-year head start

So by that logic, Hinduism is the ultimately evolved religion, dating back about 2000 years before Jeebus?

 
 

As a Viking-American, all I have to say to you Christianists is:

“My god has a hammer, yours was nailed to a tree. Any questions?”

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

Hinduism doesn’t have Jesus so it’s a cult.

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

Woops, noen already did it.

 
 

Christ wins against this world

When it’s Christ vs. the world, resource squandering and ecological destruction are a religious duty.

 
 

Christ wins against this world

Tell that to Spain, fat boy.

 
 

When it’s Christ vs. the world

He has to fight the Holy Spirit’s seven evil exes.

 
 

“He has to fight the Holy Spirit’s seven evil exes.”

Hindu Vegans have teh awesome powers. Watch out for them.

 
 

Hindu’s have a lot more gods so its not a fair fight. Why are Christians persecuted so? It’s not right.

 
 

Aren’t Jesus’ superpowers kinda limited to turning water into wine, walking on water, raising the dead and so on? Pretty cool especially the wine thing but not very usefull in battle. He would be very valuable in a supply clerk role what with the loaves and fishes and the raising of the dead though.

 
 

We live by faith as pilgrims in an alien world headed home to eternity.

Theologically, and I’m not going to explore the depths of this here, it is because the world persecutes Christians because the world is against Christ

Schmendrick Schmendrickson sure does feel sorry for himself. On an alien world and everyone hates his special friend, who BTW would kick Schmendrick out of the temple in the blink of an eye.

 
 

“Hindu’s have a lot more gods so its not a fair fight.”

They also have a monkey army. Does Jesus have a monkey army? No, all he has is a bunch of bread loaves and fishes. Hanuman for the win!

 
 

“Hindu’s have a lot more gods so its not a fair fight.”

They also have a monkey army.

The Wicked Witch of the West has a flying monkey army. Top that.

 
 

I wonder how the Red State Trike force sits in the Monkey Army League table? Certainly their poo flinging would be pretty good.

 
 

THE MOON BELOGNS TO AMERICA!!@

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Theologically, and I’m not going to explore the depths of this here, it is because the world persecutes Christians because the world is against Christ

YOU’RE THE FUCKING MAJORITY RELIGION, DOUCHEFACE. I really hate that shit. Yeah, there are Christians around the world who are persecuted, but any American who acts like the country is against them needs a fucking reality check.

 
 

THE MOON BELOGNS TO AMERICA!!@

A clever use of flags.

 
 

No, all he has is a bunch of bread loaves and fishes.

I don’t think you’re giving Jesus enough credit here. Who you gonna call if the enemy attacks with fig trees?

 
 

“The Wicked Witch of the West has a flying monkey army. Top that.”

And poppy fields filled with opium… yeah, I got nothing.

 
 

YOU’RE THE FUCKING MAJORITY RELIGION, DOUCHEFACE. I really hate that shit. Yeah, there are Christians around the world who are persecuted, but any American who acts like the country is against them needs a fucking reality check.

More to the point, it’s the religion of the dominant political faction on the planet (e.g. the West), and the most fanatical of the West’s Christians are packed into its most powerful nation (and aligned with the most powerful political faction in that nation).

Christ. Were the British or the Romans ever this fucking insecure when they ran the world?

 
 

Is this clown still on CNN?

 
Spengler Dampniche
 

I’ll say this for those wacky kids on the Right: they may be absolutely batshit crazy insane; they may be fueled by hatred, narcissism, and Mountain Dew; heck, they may even be precipitating the end of the goddamn fucking world — but they are absolutely relentlessly predictable.

I think that’s why I hate the Left almost as much as the Right and Center. It’s not particularly difficult to tell where the Right is going to come from, every time, and yet always the Left is stumbling around with blood in their eyes saying, “golly, what hit me?”

As for the Center, fuck you fence-sitting fuckers.

Thank you.

 
Spengler Dampniche
 

Blood in ITS eyes, sorry. Sacked my proof reader.

 
Spengler Dampniche
 

#

Substance McGravitas said,

August 22, 2010 at 23:24

Michael Moriarty: Loonometer rating of 8.

They’re calling us Minnie Minormes over there. It took me a few seconds, given that the topic is George Soros, to figure out “Minnie Minormes” isn’t the name of a heavyset Greek prostitute.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Sub, only an 8? This is at least an 8.5…

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

If not a 9. What the fucking fuck?

 
 

It took me a few seconds, given that the topic is George Soros, to figure out “Minnie Minormes” isn’t the name of a heavyset Greek prostitute.

Mickey, and Disney’s copyright lawyers, are gonna be pissed.

 
 

“Michael Moriarty: Loonometer rating of 8.”
I shudder to think what a 9 or 10 might be.

“George Soros now rules over half of the Earth: Eurasia, North America and, with his foot in Brazil, a large hunk of South America.
With a Sorosian Barack Obama running the United States, a Sorosian Vladimir Putin running the neo Soviet Union of Third Millennium Russia, and that earliest of Sorosian visionaries, Dr. Henry Kissinger of Harvard, running an eternally Sorosian dialogue with the Tweedledees and Tweedledums of Red China, we have an entirely Sorosian New World Order.”

 
 

I’m tired of all these Viking-Americans undermine our nation with their barbarian raid horde law.

Oh please. Irk is about as far from a Viking as a chihuahua is from a wolf. Irk aspires to be carried off to Whaaahalla by a disgusted nanny carrying him at arms length by his diaper.

 
 

So Kissinger is now a Commie Nazi also too you say. Interesting. Gocart slowly backs away from Moriarty.

 
 

Irk aspires to be carried off to Whaaahalla by a disgusted nanny carrying him at arms length by his diaper.

Hey, don’t judge.

 
 

George Soros: superior Risk tactician.

Fortunately for them, they have a bastion in Australia which is getting dumber and dumber in its social conservatism. And it can only be attacked from one direction.

 
 

Omg, can I be a Sorosian, too? I heard they’re like Vulcans mixed with Middle Earth Fairies. Logical, fine archers and goooooood-lookin’.

 
 

As for the Center, fuck you fence-sitting fuckers.

Agreed. They annoy me morse than conservatives.

 
 

“I find the showdown now shaping up below the 49th parallel is something I saw coming 15 years ago, in 1993 when the impatiently Progressive Attorney General, Janet Reno, said, “I know Murder She Wrote has few violent scenes in it, but they talk about nothing but violence.”

Is this a 9 or 10?
What the fuckity fuck fuck! (shudder)

 
 

So Kissinger is now a Commie Nazi also too you say. Interesting. Gocart slowly backs away from Moriarty.

I just got through his big book about diplomacy. Not nearly fanatically right wing enough to please the current party, so, that’s one more for the RINO pile of history as far as they’re concerned.

 
 

Oy vey. Back to the Willie Horton story of this election cycle the mosque again, the imam apparently made a couple of statements including this;

“American Muslims have the right to practice their religion in accordance with the Constitution of the United States,” Rauf said. “I see the article of independence as more compliant with the principles of Islam than what is available in many of the current Muslim countries.”

GOD ALMIGHTY!!! The man is blessing America to such an extent that he’s calling for “many of the current Muslim countries” to be more like it because it’s more compatible with his religion – what the hell more do they want on the right?

One of the lines that gets parrotted around the right wing these days is that Islam “needs to go through its version of the Reformation.” Well here it is, son.

Of course, post-Enlightenment Islam would be kinda tough to sell as a bogeyman, so its usefulness to them would have run out.

 
 

He makes the point that Christianity is supposed to be more evolved than Islam, having had a 700-year head start

Shamanism for the win! Or atheism, maybe, before our ancestors evolved consciousness. At any rate, SAD TROMBONE JESUS LOSES.

 
 

Of course Islam’s version of the Reformation and/or the Enlightenment was in the 13th-15th centuries, but since then they have had too many Great Awakenings, by which I mean crazed fundie takeovers.

 
 

THE MOON BELOGNS TO AMERICA!!@

Funny you should bring that up…

“By faith and history, Franklin Graham understands that there is only one way, one Truth, and one life. No one goes to the Father except through Jesus Christ. No one.”

Oh yeah? Well, our god is a god of terror…and vengeance.

Our god can turn into a wolf.

 
 

Our god can turn into a wolf.

(that’s Wolfen, man)

 
 

(that’s Wolfen, man)

Well, the…the Wolfen will come for you.

 
 

Silly christianists – loss of hegemony != persecution.

Btw, _most_ of the basic jewish mythology has roots in Egypt. I read a book about it a few years back.

Also, lets not make the mistake of calling the early jews “monotheists.” They were not but rathet had the bestest most badassed god on their side.

 
 

Btw, _most_ of the basic jewish mythology has roots in Egypt. Babylon

 
Michael Moriarty
 

My ass is Sorosified

 
 

Sorosian HA!

 
 

“August 23, 2010 at 1:18

These wingnuts go to 11.”

That link should have a trigger warning. I read the comments and now I want to drink grain alcohol. Or maybe just pour some in my eyes.

 
 

These wingnuts go to 11.

Hoo boy. There’s a whole bunch of crazy in them thar comments. Plus bonus ignorance and intolerance. Yaay wingnuts!

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Well, that was fucking terrifying.

This made me laugh a little, though: “Balls are a very important thing. They hang, reproduce, look good to women, not guys and sometimes bring out the best and the worst in us but they are important.”

You know, people vary, so I can’t say that I speak for all women, but I know some very, um, frank women and I’ve never heard any of them talk about how hot a guy’s balls are.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Also, the “not guys” part was pretty funny, too. “My balls are totally NOT GAY, okay???”

 
 

Ok, I actually just laughed out loud pretty heartily.

You wanna know why I married Col. V? His magnificent BAWLLZ.

 
 

I know some very, um, frank women and I’ve never heard any of them talk about how hot a guy’s balls are.

Now you tell us. After I spent all that money on tinsel.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Ha, right!

I did remember that a friend once commented on the fact that her paramour had very silky balls, but it wasn’t like, “ZOMG they look sooo good!”

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

After I spent all that money on tinsel.

I guffawed. Oh yes, I did.

 
 

“Now you tell us. After I spent all that money on tinsel.”

As long as you didn’t spring for the Balldazzler.

 
Pupienus Maxyguy
 

The Babylon influence – Esther and Mordecai / Ishtar and Marduk e.g. – came along much later. The Egyptian roots are at the deepest origins.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

As long as you didn’t spring for the Balldazzler.

Ouch.

 
 

This ball talk is still making me laugh. What am I? Eight?

 
 

One doesn’t spring for the Balldazzler. One approaches it gingerly, with short steps.

 
 

Yeah, these people are fucking scaring me.

Existing while black! It’s the new driving while black!

“All you dumb motherfuckers don’t even know my opinion about shit!”

Well, right. Don’t you, like, know how the Tea Party Movement works?

 
 

““All you dumb motherfuckers don’t even know my opinion about shit!””

is the new

“Don’t taze me bro!”

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

This ball talk is still making me laugh. What am I? Eight?

Whatever. Balls are funny.

Er, I mean, they’re TOTALLY HOT.

 
 

Balls are funny.

Er, I mean, they’re TOTALLY HOT.

Excess heat reduces sperm count, thus explaining the success of Fudgie the Whale.

 
 

Rofl

“that guy was so HOT.

“yeah and did you his nutsack?”

 
Pupienus Maxyguy
 

One should not underestimate the importance “da balls” in hetero male mythology. Consider the well known TRUTH that MMF threesomes are perfectly fine and dont make you in any way ghey UNLESS the balls touch in which case it’s all over – might as well download the Streisand catalogue if that happens.

 
Pupienus Maxyguy
 

“yeah and did you his nutsack?”

I did not his nutsack. It did itself. Thats muh sturry an im stuck, er, sticking tuit.

 
 

I has a confused.

If wingnuts are all about the capitalism-thing … & they are undeniably doing the jihadi’s dirty-work by being such a pack of xenophobic dickweeds, at length & in public … what the hell: why don’t they go Full Retard & start hitting up AQ & the Taliban for some well-earned blood-money?

Come on, wingnuts! It’s already glaringly obvious you have no scruples – so stop denying yourselves all that sweet sweet Bin Laden ca$h! Only a fail-whore gives it away for free. You’re making the Baby Donald Trump cry!

 
 

why don’t they go Full Retard & start hitting up AQ & the Taliban for some well-earned blood-money?

Rupert Murdoch.

Newscorp.

Saudi money.

 
 

Hmmm. So I was born with Catholic seeds? Lot of good that did me. The only Catholic service I ever attended was at Notre Dame, and that was an accident. Suddenly, there was incense in my face and I nearly jumped out of the seat from which I had been looking at the rose windows. Some guy in elaborate garb was swinging this thingy filled with burning incense. For the whole service I was just following the crowd—- it was all sit down, stand up, sit down, stand up….those seeds didn’t help at all.

 
 

So I was born with Catholic seeds?

I’m not sure what seeds I was born with, but I spent my teens working intensely with a weed whacker.

 
teh Universal Schlong
 

Oh Yeah, Tell ’em how much Daddy loves you EE!!

Oops, you still have some left there on your chin little guy.

 
 

Gee, another conservative using his free speech rights to trash somebody else’s religion…

 
 

Rupert Murdoch.

Newscorp.

Saudi money.

Touché, mes ami.

Beck, Gellar, Hannity & Limbaugh = the real Sleeper Cells.

“MOOLAH AKBAR!”

 
 

“Balls are a very important thing. They hang, reproduce, look good to women, not guys and sometimes bring out the best and the worst in us but they are important.”

Hence the popularity of Trucknutz.

 
 

Who you gonna call if the enemy attacks with fig trees?
The last act of Macbeth the Scottish Tragedy, enshorterised into 11 words.

_most_ of the basic jewish mythology has roots in Egypt. I read a book about it a few years back.
“Moses and Monotheism” is not an authoritative source. Nor is “Joseph and His Brothers”.

 
 

Balls are a very important thing. They hang, reproduce, look good to women
Obviously the inspiration behind the “Trouble with Tribbles” episode.

 
 

Hamburger looks yummy and cancerous.

 
 

“Moses and Monotheism” is not an authoritative source. Nor is “Joseph and His Brothers”.

What about “Seven Deadbeats for Seventeen Mothers?”

 
 

TruculentandUnreliable said,
“Yeah, these people are fucking scaring me.”

Well if you fuckin’ linked to a video of a Klan Rally! What did you expect to see!? . . . . Huh? . . . Oh, . . . Really? . . . . nevermind.

 
 

Pam Geller reponds
http://tbogg.firedoglake.com/

“I have no idea what this rally is. I have no idea who these people are. I have no idea who organized this rally. Clearly, whoever organized this was careless, unprepared, shooting from the hip and harmful to the cause of freedom and compassion. I wasn’t even in the state, nor did I know anything about this half-assed effort.”

 
 

Also, it was already on fire when I got there.

 
 

ROTFLMAO!!!

Also from Pam Geller article;

Max Blumenthal, notorious Jew hater

I didn’t even know who Max Blumenthal was until I double-checked on wikipedia to make sure that he was, indeed, Jewish. I just read that line and laughed out loud. How the fuck do you not catch that in the editing before you even write it?

“Arturo Benedetto Alfredo di Milano, notorious Italian hater…”

“Billy Bob Jefferson Davis Lee, enemy of all Southerners…”

“Mohammed Hajji Bin Riyadh, the infamous Islamophobe…”

Nothing? Really? Couldn’t at least put “self-loathing Jew” and make it just a little bit logical?

 
 

Balls are a very important thing. They hang, reproduce, look good to women

As usual, South Park was there first.

 
 

For some reason I am reminded of this classoc Blues Brothers scene.

Jake: Oh, please, don’t kill us. Please, please don’t kill us. You know I love you baby. I wouldn’t leave ya. It wasn’t my fault.
Mystery Woman: You miserable slug! You think you can talk your way out of this? You betrayed me.
Jake: No I didn’t. Honest… I ran out of gas. I, I had a flat tire. I didn’t have enough money for cab fare. My tux didn’t come back from the cleaners. An old friend came in from out of town. Someone stole my car. There was an earthquake. A terrible flood. Locusts. IT WASN’T MY FAULT, I SWEAR TO GOD.

 
 

I thought I read that the oldest monotheistic religion in the world was Zoroastrianism, and that the Jewish religion was heavily influenced by it, and not all that much by the Egyptian religious tradition.

 
 

This video MUST be sent to Brent Bozell Sozen His Head ‘Splodes.

 
 

I’m sure Ivar the Boneless could think of an appropriate treatment for Erikkkkkkkk.

and y’all need more tricksters, I have them in the stories from both sides of the family from opposite sides of the world.

 
 

WWBJD?

 
 

Chris
“I didn’t even know who Max Blumenthal was until I double-checked on wikipedia to make sure that he was, indeed, Jewish. ”

Max has been around a long time and has gotten some great video footage of the crazies in their natural environment.

His YouTube channel
http://www.youtube.com/user/mblumenthal#p/u

I like this one
Max Blumenthal vs. Breitbart

 
 

“yeah and did you his nutsack?”

As long as you didn’t accidentally his nutsack.

 
 

Also, too.
Dude in the video is apparently a carpenter who works at GZ. Keep it classy, baggers.

Yup. Fucking with a guy going home from work because he’s “walking while swarthy.” Nope, no racists there.

I have to wonder how many of these carpet teabaggers were from NY. Did they think they wouldn’t see anybody with more of a tan than fucking Casper while they were publicly making asses of themselves in the the largest and densest city in the country? I know they’re stupid. I know they’re willfully ignorant. I just hate to think think that they’re that stupid and that ignorant.

 
 

And LGF has the picture of the day.

There’s a catch.

Hey ladeez, I’ll betcha his bawls are mighty impressive, what with that stars and bars tat on them.

 
 

The third joke down here made me think of Erk, Spawn of Erk.

A Chukcha applies for membership in the Union of Soviet Writers. He is asked what literature he is familiar with. “Have you read Pushkin?” “No.” “Have you read Dostoevsky?” “No.” “Can you read at all?” The Chukcha, offended, replies, “Chukcha not reader, Chukcha writer!” (The latter phrase has become a popular cliché in Russian culture hinting at happy or militant ignorance.)

Of course, it needs a bit of modification to fit. Erky goes to CNN, pimping himself as a political commentator. Substitute anything appropriate for Pushkin and Dostoevsky. CNN gets the punchline with “Excellent! Wait here while we get you a check.”

*weeping*

 
 

So old I remember what used to happen w/ a link to LGF.

 
 

I actually was wondering if that was going to work. Heh.

 
Enraged Bull Limpet
 

This is getting tiresome. How many more centuries of mockery-splashing will it take to conclusively dissolve such beautifully tendentious wickedness?

 
 

I actually was wondering if that was going to work. Heh.

Justice is done. Wonder who gets it these days?

And still got to wonder if the old bastard won’t wig out again if something else happens.

 
 

Our god can turn into a wolf.

Yeah, well, the tea bagger god shoots wolves from a helicopter.

 
 

Cookie Puss??

Once you’ve seen eaten Carvel, it can’t be unseen uneaten.

 
 

I keep hearing people say that it’s not really a Mosque, it’s a community center with a gymnasium and an auditorium – as if that would change the wingers’ opinions. But try this: It’s not really a Mosque, it’s a community center with a gun shop and an indoor shootin’ range.

 
 

More frightening than CookiePuss: real life sewer gator

 
 

And LGF has the picture of the day.

Confederate flag, cowboy hat… oh yeah. That guy’s definitely from Lower Manhattan.

I’m shocked, shocked, that there’s carpetbagging going on in there!

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

So old I remember what used to happen w/ a link to LGF.

I know! I even turned down my speakers before I clicked on the link, but apparently I am no longer A Idiot.

 
 

Confederate flag, cowboy hat… oh yeah. That guy’s definitely from Lower Manhattan.

Any guy wearing a cowboy hat in Manhattan, the naked cowboy excluded, has the ghey.

 
 

http://pibillwarner.wordpress.com/2010/08/22/updated-guardian-newspaper-more-bad-press-for-pamela-geller-edl-wave-of-extremist-violence-based-around-football-hooligan-networks-and-linked-to-gellers-sioa-new-york/
[Sorry for the effen huge link but the story is worth it plus great photos of various hooligans. Oh Pammy Pammy what have you gotten yourself into? What would your Jewish grandma think if she could see you now]

“Stop Islamization of America (SIOA) New York is run by radical right wing bikini blogger Pamela Geller and Robert Spencer. Right Wing Radical Groups SIOE- SIOA- EDL -Vlaams Belang links to Robert Spencer and Pamela Geller, it’s all about the money. In 2007, Robert Spencer, his photo above, spoke at a so-called “Counterjihad Brussels” conference in Belgium attended by those with links to far-right parties such as Filip Dewinter of Vlaams Belang (Belgium) and Ted Ekeroth of Sverigedemokraterna (Sweden). Both parties have been accused of either having a racist platform a neo-Nazi past or having links to neo-Nazis and other racists.”

 
 

http://littlegreenfootballs.com/article/36576_Pamela_Geller_Supports_Yet_Another_Fascist_Group#rss
“Pamela Geller has never met a fascist hate group she wouldn’t support.

These “pork parties” are a long tradition on the French far right; back in the day they were targeted against Jews by the very same groups and people. And they’re still targeted against Jews as well as Muslims, but some of the fascists have learned that there are useful idiots like Geller out there who will believe their denials and help promote their hatred.

It’s old-style European racial/ethnic nastiness. Deliberate mean-spirited provocation. That’s what Pamela Geller is working hard to bring to America.”

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Yeah, I seem to recall that she was defending some English far-right racists against some anti-racist activists. The enemy of my enemy is my friend, I guess? I mean, I will say that neo-Nazis tend to be more obsessed with whatever racial scapegoat in convenient in their countries (in Europe, it’s Muslim immigrants, in the US, it’s blacks and Hispanics, and, increasingly, Muslims) than they are about wiping out Jews. Not that they’re not anti-Semitic, of course. Jews are just lower down on the list of people to hate.

Oh, Pammy. Fucking neo-Nazis, how do they work?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

It’s old-style European racial/ethnic nastiness. Deliberate mean-spirited provocation. That’s what Pamela Geller is working hard to bring to America.”

Actually, yeah, that’s a really good observation. Not that racial nastiness is confined to Europe, of course, but there’s a particular tenor to this stuff that’s different.

 
 

Oh Pammy Pammy….What would your Jewish grandma think if she could see you now

“That slut should cover up her tits.”

 
 

In 2007, Robert Spencer, his photo above, spoke at a so-called “Counterjihad Brussels” conference in Belgium attended by those with links to far-right parties such as Filip Dewinter of Vlaams Belang (Belgium) and Ted Ekeroth of Sverigedemokraterna (Sweden). Both parties have been accused of either having a racist platform a neo-Nazi past or having links to neo-Nazis and other racists.”

A tip; in Europe, “counter jihadist” groups are pretty much universally fascist. Jean-Marie Le Pen in France may concentrate most of his attacks on Arab and African Muslims, but he’s also a Holocaust denier who’s repeatedly pushed for amnesty for WW2 collaborators. It’s like that everywhere on the continent.

 
 

Comparing the US to the UK (the EU country I know reasonably well): the Dems are currently configured contain all three major UK parties: the Conservatives, Lib-Dems, and Labor all fit within the Democrats, although Labor is sort of pushing out the left side a bit. Where does that leave the Republicans? As the counterpart to the National Front…

 
 

http://www.chasingevil.org/2010/07/pamela-geller-watch-genocide-denier.html
In another maniacal post, Geller writes,

Radovan Karadži?, the former Bosnian Serb politician, is on trial (more like a sharia court) in the United Nations Detention Unit of Scheveningen, accused of “war crimes committed against Bosnian Muslims and Bosnian Croats during the Siege of Sarajevo” (now an entirely Muslim city, completely ethnically cleansed of non-Muslims.)

[O.K. I’ll stop now]

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Where does that leave the Republicans? As the counterpart to the National Front…

Ayup.

Man, the Krugmeister always depresses the fuck out of me. Mostly because he’s a smart dude who usually confirms all the bad shit I’ve been worried about.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

gocart, JESUS.

 
 

Oh, that’s neither new nor isolated. There’ve been righties saying that Milosevic was just misunderstood and we should’ve let him finish off those savage dangerous fucking hajjis for quite a while now.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Holy FUCK, I did not know that. What the fuck is wrong with these people??????????

 
 

I wouldn’t say Labour’s pushing left of the Dems, though they may well do after the current leadership election. They were pretty right wing in power, though less so in the Brown years (and yes, I know the Tories are worse, and I do sincerely wish Brown was still in power).

This is why comparisons between Obama and Tony Blair irk me. Sure, some of them come from tribal rightists who hate on principle anyone who leads an even nominally liberal party to power: but some come from people on the left, who should know better.

Imagine, if you will, that the Dems had won unassailable supermajorities in both Houses in 2008, composed almost entirely of slavish loyalists who would do whatever Obama told them. Imagine, further, that there were no midterms, so this situation was secure for four years at least. Then imagine that, having run on a fairly liberal platform, Obama had not only compromised unnecessarily and held over bad policies and Bush appointees, but had, on about one issue in three, actively sought out positions to the right of anything Bush had dared do – even when he knew those positions were unpopular as well as wrong. THEN a comparison to Blair might begin to be apt.

 
 

There’ve been righties saying that Milosevic was just misunderstood and we should’ve let him finish off those savage dangerous fucking hajjis for quite a while now.

A combination of Muslim hate and Clinton hate makes this position a no-brainer* for them

*Yes, I know.

 
 

I wouldn’t say Labour’s pushing left of the Dems, though they may well do after the current leadership election. They were pretty right wing in power, though less so in the Brown years (and yes, I know the Tories are worse, and I do sincerely wish Brown was still in power).

I meant the membership and voters more than the leaders. Of course, the pre-Blair leaders were anywhere from left to far left…

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

*sigh*

How is it that these people still continue to amaze me with their evil insanity?

 
 

How is it that these people still continue to amaze me with their evil insanity?

You’re an innocent midwestern farm girl, who’s had her hands inside a cow but has never tasted the vile since of the big city? You don’t want to remember what they say.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Ew. I have never, ever had my hands inside a cow. Ew.

And I’ve only milked a goat, thankyouverymuch.

 
 

http://www.americanthinker.com/blog/2010/08/islam_is_the_new_communism.html

“Islam is the New Communism”

This is has been a difficult road, because Americans are benevolent and naïve concerning Islam. They are used to freedom of religion and they find it hard to condemn one. And that is precisely the problem, Americans see Islam as only a religion. It is not just a religion, it is also a sophisticated, detailed political ideology with the expressed goal of taking over the entire world by any means at its disposal, even if it includes lying and killing. Americans need to think of it as a social/political ideology, but they are so used to separating religion from politics (which was a first at the time of our country’s founding) that they keep giving Islam the benefit of the doubt.

Frank Langan, site superintendent from Queens working at ground zero, says he is on the fence on the matter. When construction workers started to protest working on the mosque, he made a statement that is typical of people who are undecided about this issue, “It’s a tough debate. I sympathize with workers’ position, but at the same time, you can’t single out all Muslims because of a small number of terrorists.” That would be like saying, you can’t single out all Communists because of a small number of Communists. They are all Communists if they subscribe to the Communist ideology, and just like Communism has an ideology, so does Islam. Any Muslim who is truly innocent, must renounce Islam like other courageous Muslims such as Ayaan Hirsi Ali or Wafa Sultan. Not to do so, means that he still considers us as the enemy and supports the downfall of the United States.

Yeah this is almost what the Nazis said about the Jews; with the only difference being that Muslims can refute their religion and become Good Americans whereas Jews were always Jews.

“Islamo-bolshevism” is already being unironically used by some wingnuts (google it). Imagine that.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jewish_Bolshevism

 
 

Ew.

And now that I’ve stepped on your foot, I bet your head doesn’t hurt so much anymore…

 
 

So, first they scream and squeal that Muslims need to denounce terrorism.

Now that vast, vast majorities of them have done exactly that, they’re saying “okay but now you have to renounce your religion because we won’t believe you really mean it otherwise.”

And if every Muslim in America did exactly that, the conservatives would start leading witch-hunts for “secret Muslims” practicing “taqiyya” who are still hidden amongst us.

 
 

And LGF has the picture of the day.

The new “GET A BRAIN MORANS”?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

And now that I’ve stepped on your foot, I bet your head doesn’t hurt so much anymore…

True.

Cows are disgusting. Sometimes I can’t believe that we eat them.

 
 

That would be like saying, you can’t single out all Communists because of a small number of Communists.

No, actually, that would be more like saying “you can’t single out all left wingers just because some of them are communists.”

Of course, the right did that too, with McCarthy, the John Birchers and the National Review, for whom “fighting communism” meant “fighting Democrats, labor unions, civil rights movements, and any foreign democracies who thought their first responsibility was to their people and not to foreign corporations.

 
 

Cows are disgusting. Sometimes I can’t believe that we eat them.

Calvin: “The more you think about things, the weirder they seem. Take this milk. Why do we drink COW milk? Who was the guy who first looked at a cow and said ‘I think I’ll drink whatever comes out of these things when I squeeze ’em’? Isn’t that weird?”
Hobbes: “I think conversation should be kept to a minimum until afternoon.”

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Yeah, milk is weird.

Cheese is *really* weird (albeit delicious). I mean, you take blocks of mammalian secretions and let them age for a while, sometimes letting them mold, even…

 
 

From the American Stinker article comments section:

“How nuts is it to open the gate to such a vicious enemy? Mosques everywhere, Islamics helping themselves to American government freebies as the demons reproduce like rabbits and become *citizens* so all can eventually vote. The demise of the country and it’s citizens is planned with cunning and stealth and all the while the political leaders are dictating to all that we need to be *considerate* and *welcoming* to our deceivers and murderers.

Like a poisonous snake wrapped in sheep’s clothing, this hideous ideology cloaks itself in religious garbs and gets further tax-exempt American money masquerading as a *religion*. No religion advocates hatred and murder of humans that don’t kneel to it’s ideology. BTW, black churches across our country advocate the same ideology, while many black Americans constantly hold out hands for income from the pockets of the whites that they wish dead. How many American citizens will be killed before the enemy is recognized and the gate gets closed, or shall we wait for the enemy to swallow us?”

“We ARE NOT racists!”

 
 

Cheese is *really* weird (albeit delicious). I mean, you take blocks of mammalian secretions and let them age for a while, sometimes letting them mold, even…

We got foodies and sciencey types on this blog, so here’s my big question: We (of European cultural heritage) make cheese from three of the four mammals that are commonly domesticated for food: cows, sheep, and goats. Why no pig cheese?

 
 

BTW, black churches across our country advocate the same ideology

What, that there is no God but God and Mohammed is the messenger of God? Somehow, I very much doubt that.

LOL @ “We are NOT racists!”

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

No religion advocates hatred and murder of humans that don’t kneel to it’s ideology.

LOLWUT?

BTW, black churches across our country advocate the same ideology,

LOLWUTX2?

Wow. The most distressing thing about that is that it’s relatively coherent and grammatically correct (it’s/its issues aside).

 
 

Very weird, but very tasty result in both cases.

And yeah, now that you bring it up I’m curious why there’s no pig cheese too. I suppose someone must have tried it at some point back in the day and it turned out not to be as tasty or nourishing as the other.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Why no pig cheese?

Pigs don’t lactate very much. Also, too, pigs can’t usually be impregnated while they’re lactating, so it’s difficult to get a consistent supply of milk, even if they did produce a lot.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Aaah, I lied! I always thought it was because they didn’t have much milk.

It’s just because it’s a pain in the ass to milk them. They don’t have udders, obviously, so they can’t be hooked up to milking machines. Pigs are also a lot more recalcitrant than other farm animals, as far as I can tell.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Yes, I looked up “milking pigs” on the internets. Luckily, I am not at work.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Shit, why don’t we just have poor pregnant women give birth in dirt-floor huts with nothing but a midwife (if they’re lucky) and some hot water and torn bedsheets?

 
 

It’s just because it’s a pain in the ass to milk them. They don’t have udders, obviously, so they can’t be hooked up to milking machines. Pigs are also a lot more recalcitrant than other farm animals, as far as I can tell.

I can believe the “pain in the ass” theory. But there was no pig cheese before milking machines, so I don’t buy that. And I have a hard time believing their worse-tempered than goats.

I suppose someone must have tried it at some point back in the day and it turned out not to be as tasty or nourishing as the other.

Are you suggesting that there is a portion of the pig that does not taste good? HERESY!

 
 

In. Thisphoto,he. Looks. Like. The. Spittingimage. Ofme!

 
 

They’re, too.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Well, they also don’t have udders, which makes it difficult. It’s harder to milk teats.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Are you suggesting that there is a portion of the pig that does not taste good? HERESY!

I love pork, but pork loins are boring and I feel like I’m eating human flesh.

 
 

Yes, I looked up “milking pigs” on the internets. Luckily, I am not at work.

It ain’t kosher, either. I wonder if there would be trichinosis problems, as well.

 
 

I love pork, but pork loins are boring and I feel like I’m eating human flesh.

Pretend it’s a honking big penis.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I don’t know if trichinosis is transmitted through milk…it’s a parasite, so I doubt it.

And modern piggies don’t usually carry trichinosis. It’s illegal to feed raw meat to pigs that are destined for consumers.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Pretend it’s a honking big penis.

Yeah, that’s even more disturbing.

 
 

“Shit, why don’t we just have poor pregnant women give birth in dirt-floor huts with nothing but a midwife (if they’re lucky) and some hot water and torn bedsheets?”

I can’t decide if that guy hates women or poor people more.

 
 

Never having eaten human flesh, I’m not sure how pork loins compare. But I do know they’re quite tasty when marinated and grilled. The pork loins, that is.

 
 

I feel like I’m eating human flesh.

You say this like it’s a bad thing.

 
 

It’s illegal to feed raw meat to pigs that are destined for consumers.

Yea, but we dew et annyways! Man, sum mah bess custmers fuck dat peeg!

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I’m also not a huge fan of city ham or pork chops, either.

I think I just like cured pork. And sausage, of course.

 
 

Yeah, that’s even more disturbing.

It concerns me that you find big penises disturbing.

 
 

I’m also not a huge fan of city ham

Is that a ham with a Metrocard?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

It concerns me that you find big penises disturbing.

Not so much. Just literally consuming them after cooking them is disturbing.

 
 

“Pretend it’s a honking big penis.”

Penises make sounds now?

 
 

Ham?

…really ought to be named Hamlet.

 
 

Ham?

Where’s Ham?

Oh, it’s at the intersection of Ham and Spray Roads!

 
 

Just literally consuming them after cooking them is disturbing.

*crossing legs*

 
 

“Pretend it’s a honking big penis.”

Penises make sounds now?

Quit judging me, a’ight?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

*crossing legs*

See what I mean?

 
 

Bayonne ham

Which is smoked over the stacks of the oil refineries.

 
 

sorry, actor. But it scared me when I squeezed it and it sounded like a clown nose.

 
 

But it scared me when I squeezed it and it sounded like a clown nose.

You should have warned me so I could remove the costume.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

For some reason I decided to try that alcoholic sweet tea stuff yesterday, even though I don’t like sweet tea and I thought it sounded weird.

You GUYS, that stuff is BURNY. And not in a good way, like scotch or whiskey. Are you supposed to mix it with something?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I meant bourbon, not whiskey. Scotch *is* a whisk(e)y, obvs. Should have just said whiskey in general.

 
 

For some reason I decided to try that alcoholic sweet tea stuff yesterday,

??

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

It’s, like, cloyingly sweet with a moonshine aftertaste.

Confession: I mixed it with some Diet Dr. Pepper and it was far, far better.

 
 

Oh, it’s vodka. I thought you meant like one of those bottled malt drinks that taste like iced tea.

 
 

I mixed it with some Diet Dr. Pepper and it was far, far better.

Whereas mixing DDP with anything else makes it worse. Veeery interesting…

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Oh, it’s vodka. I thought you meant like one of those bottled malt drinks that taste like iced tea.

Ew, no. And malt beverages hurt my tummy.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Whereas mixing DDP with anything else makes it worse. Veeery interesting…

Right?

It’s pretty good with hangovers, though.

 
 

…dont make you in any way ghey UNLESS the balls touch in which case it’s all over

Wonder Twin Ghey Powers, ACTIVATE!

 
 

It’s pretty good with hangovers, though.

My hangovers respond to water, salt, sugar, and carbs, i.e. Coke and Pringles.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

My hangovers respond to water, salt, sugar, and carbs, i.e. Coke and Pringles.

Yeah, I personally like some sort of breakfasty mess with eggs and cheese and potatoes and maybe some Mexican Coke.

 
 

My hangovers respond to water, salt, sugar, and carbs, i.e. Coke and Pringles.

Big Mac, fries and a vanilla shake-like drink from MickeyDs. If it’s early morning and I’m desperate, two Egg McMuffins.

 
 

Mexican Coke

???

Can’t afford the Colombian?

 
 

So old I remember what used to happen w/ a link to LGF.

Whoaaaaaaa. When did THAT happen?

 
 

I wonder if he uses that mp3 for links from Tea Party sites.

Talk about your strange bedfellows.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I have to admit, Egg McMuffins are the shiz.

Can’t afford the Colombian?

Nope, and I don’t do the Mexican, either, as I am allergic to aspirin and would most likely go into anaphylaxis.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Talk about your strange bedfellows.

Yeah, but they really are A Idiot (s).

 
 

“Pretend it’s a honking big penis.”

Penises make sounds now?

Not a peep.

But it scared me when I squeezed it and it sounded like a clown nose.

If it also squirted you, that’s not water.

 
 

I have to admit, Egg McMuffins are the shiz.

Oooooohhh, a secret Canadian are we? I will have to report this to the kommisar.

 
 

So what the hell is “Mexican Coke”?

 
 

So what the hell is “Mexican Coke”?

Coke (Coca-cola, that is) from Mexico has actual cane sugar. It’s at my local grocery (yeah hispanic neighbors).

 
 

Oh, and the wrinkly, hairy sacs are not the sexiest part of a man, sorry.

 
 

Yea! Hispanic neighbors, that is.

The pepper selection is not to be believed. Fresh tomatillos too.

 
 

Coke (Coca-cola, that is) from Mexico has actual cane sugar. It’s at my local grocery (yeah hispanic neighbors).

Oh.

You do realize that’s true for any Coke sold in any other country in the world, right?

 
 

Also, when Passover rolls around, always buy Kosher Coke, since Jews can’t have corn syrup.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

So what the hell is “Mexican Coke”?

Google is your friend, darling.

Or Kosher for Passover Coke, too. But I like the Mexican Coke better because it’s in glass bottles.

 
 

More on Coke made with sugar

I see that Consumer Reports also calls it “Mexican Coke”.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

You do realize that’s true for any Coke sold in any other country in the world, right?

Yes, but that’s normally the only kind of cane sugar Coke you can get here.

I swear, I liked Belizean Coke better, but I think it’s only because it was served in thicker glass bottles.

 
 

Whenever I drive up to Canada, I always stock up on soda and wine coolers. They just taste that much better.

 
 

I can’t read all 270 comments here, but just for the record:

First Eric of Eric of Eric says this:’

What Franklin Graham said is dead on.
Specifically, this week Graham noted that Barack Obama was born a muslim.

…and then he says this:

One is not born into Islam (Rev. Graham got that point technically wrong), but as Streiff has pointed out, at one time his parents listed his religion as “Islam.”

When he says “dead on,” did he forget to write “arrival”? Otherwise…

 
 

Yes, but that’s normally the only kind of cane sugar Coke you can get here.

Unless you live in eastern Ohio, western Pennsylvania, or can buy kosher.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Also, too, Pepsi Throwback.

 
 

Oh, and the wrinkly, hairy sacs are not the sexiest part of a man, sorry.

I have been told by connoisseurs* that men can inject them with oil to fill out the wrinkles and wax them to make them hairless and shiny, so that they look like little bald men’s heads. Hot, right?

*D-KW’s mom.

 
 

I noticed that Ocean Spray is now using sugar in their cranberry juice (instead of HFCS). Corn backlash baby!

(tough to choose a good guy in Sugar v. Corn, both incredibly government subsidized – gotta help the rich folk get by – but right now Corn is ahead in the evil department)

 
 

Also, too, Pepsi Throwback.

You couldn’t make me drink a Pepsi with a gun to my head. Shit is nasteeeeeeeee.

 
 

And by the way, they’re for scratchin’ and squeezin’, not gazin’.

 
 

(tough to choose a good guy in Sugar v. Corn, both incredibly government subsidized – gotta help the rich folk get by – but right now Corn is ahead in the evil department)

Not as hard as you might think: corn is a food, and should be consumed as such. Sugar is, well, sugar.

By the way, sugar is subsidized, but not nearly to the tune that corn is, or as diversely geographically. Stop subsidizing sugar and even Hawaii wouldn’t suffer much anymore.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Unless you live in eastern Ohio, western Pennsylvania, or can buy kosher.

Well, I don’t, and AFAIK, the kosher Coke is only out around Passover, though I could be wrong. And, yeah, while I can get my hands on kosher food, it’s usually not much.

 
 

You couldn’t make me drink a Pepsi with a gun to my head. Shit is nasteeeeeeeee.

True dat, but the throwback Mountain Dew is awesome. It has the old hillbilly logo and everything(“It’ll tickle yore innards!”)

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Hot, right?

Um, no.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

You couldn’t make me drink a Pepsi with a gun to my head. Shit is nasteeeeeeeee.

I prefer Coke (at least, in the cane sugar variety), but I don’t think they taste *that* different.

 
 

so that they look like little bald men’s heads. Hot, right?

Like male-pattern baldness, ooh, or better yet Friar Tuck stylee, and with little tattooed faces!

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

True dat, but the throwback Mountain Dew is awesome. It has the old hillbilly logo and everything(“It’ll tickle yore innards!”)

I hate Mountain Dew, BUT the throwback does take me back to the machine with the glass bottles and the little door you had to open that my grandparents had at their hardware store when I was a kid before HFCS was completely ubiquitous.

 
 

Like male-pattern baldness, ooh, or better yet Friar Tuck stylee, and with little tattooed faces!

I’ll alert B^4 he’s got some tattooing to attend to.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

City ham? I know about (and like) coty chicken but city ham is new to me.

brb

 
 

he throwback does take me back to the machine with the glass bottles and the little door you had to open that my grandparents had at their hardware store when I was a kid

With the bottles stacked horizontally, right? If your coin missed and you didn’t catch it you’d yank on the bottle top and throw out your arm. Those things weren’t ABOUT to be denied their full fee.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I’d never heard of “city chicken” before.

Another interesting thing…I’ve always called chicken-fried steak, well, “chicken-fried steak.” I did not know until a few years ago that cityfolk usually call it “country-fried steak.”

I also saw someone serve it with brown gravy recently. BLASPHEMY.

 
 

also saw someone serve it with brown gravy recently. BLASPHEMY.

Get a rope.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

With the bottles stacked horizontally, right? If your coin missed and you didn’t catch it you’d yank on the bottle top and throw out your arm. Those things weren’t ABOUT to be denied their full fee.

These were vertical. It hardly ever worked properly, though, so my grandfather always had to open it with a key.

 
 

I’ve always called chicken-fried steak, well, “chicken-fried steak.” I did not know until a few years ago that cityfolk usually call it “country-fried steak.”

They’re interchangeable.

Doesn’t change the fact that it’s an abomination to God to bread and fry steak.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Oh, no, do you mean bottles that were the same kind stacked horizontally, so another bottle would roll across when you took one? Because, yeah, that’s what it was like.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

City ham = brine cured. I suggest a more appropriate designation would be “ham like substance made by soaking pig flesh in stagnant salt water resulting in flavorless, uninteresting food product.” But that’s just me.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Doesn’t change the fact that it’s an abomination to God to bread and fry steak.

Wait, do you cityfolk actually use *good* steak? Because the real stuff is made with meat that would be inedible if it wasn’t tenderized and fried.

 
 

These were vertical. It hardly ever worked properly, though, so my grandfather always had to open it with a key.

I’ve seen those, but never got to use one that worked. Most places just had the big Coca-Cola chest refrigerator, where you opened the top and read the bottle caps to find what you wanted.

Nu-Grape, Nehi Lemonade, Frosty root beer, Grapette, Nehi Orangeade, the elusive (in that day) Grape Crush….good stuff. And here in Arkansas, the red cream soda of the Gods, Red Hog (with razorback logo, natch)

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

City ham = brine cured. I suggest a more appropriate designation would be “ham like substance made by soaking pig flesh in stagnant salt water resulting in flavorless, uninteresting food product.” But that’s just me.

Agreed. It’s nasty. I had the way it smells when it’s cooking. We always had it on Easter. Sometimes with Pepsi poured over it as a glaze. *shudder*

 
 

Wait, do you cityfolk actually use *good* steak?

Excuse me??? In a city where I can’t spit but for hitting a good steak house, you dare think we use inferior cuts of meat???

Because the real stuff is made with meat that would be inedible if it wasn’t tenderized and fried.

Ah. We use that for dog food. Or burgers.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Doesn’t change the fact that it’s an abomination to God to bread and fry steak.

If it were actually “steak” you might have a point. It used to be made by pounding the bejeezus out of thinly sliced round steak at best (not really a steak in my book) but is nowadays made with halfway gorund mystery meat For a dish made with battered mystery meat, CFS aint half bad. .

 
 

Nu-Grape, Nehi Lemonade, Frosty root beer, Grapette, Nehi Orangeade, the elusive (in that day) Grape Crush

7-Up, too.

 
 

Sometimes with Pepsi poured over it as a glaze. *shudder*

Country fried steak…Pepsi glaze…you country folk ain’t right in the haid.

 
 

I’m brining a chicken today. Gonna roast it tonight with some fennel, apples and carrots, etc.

 
 

It used to be made by pounding the bejeezus out of thinly sliced round steak at best (not really a steak in my book)

Minute steaks or cube steaks. The stuff of a good Philly cheesesteak sandwich.

 
 

Because the real stuff is made with meat that would be inedible if it wasn’t tenderized and fried.

Exactly. Like chili helped cover the taste of questionable meat, chicken fried steak is basically to turn shoe leather into an entree.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Excuse me??? In a city where I can’t spit but for hitting a good steak house, you dare think we use inferior cuts of meat???

Well, that is a fucking abomination, then, because that’s not what chicken-fried steak is, dammit.

 
 

Actually glazes made with dark colas are perfectly fine. You won’t recognize them once they’ve caramelized and integrated into the ham or whatever.

 
 

Country fried steak…Pepsi glaze…you country folk ain’t right in the haid.

I’ve had Coca-cola cured ham (using coca-cola as a brine). It is teh awesome. Ya’ll just ain’t got no creativity up there.

And come on, Scrapple? Scrapple, really? You lose the right to complain about cheap eats with that.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

If it were actually “steak” you might have a point. It used to be made by pounding the bejeezus out of thinly sliced round steak at best (not really a steak in my book)

You can still get it. Plenty of meat shops (maybe not outside the Midwest, though) have tenderizers. Which are terrifying and a bitch to clean, I might add.

 
 

And come on, Scrapple? Scrapple, really?

That’s Amish. Those folks are country folk.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I just really, really hate sweet ham. Or most sweetness paired with pork.

 
 

Plenty of meat shops (maybe not outside the Midwest, though) have tenderizers.

This is why God invented monosodium glutamate.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Also, re: Grape Crush. I usually crave one of those (or, more often, an Orange Crush) once or twice a year, and then when I get one, I take a sip or two and toss it away, because they’re pretty disgusting.

 
 

Holy cripes — salt brining is one of the most classic meat preservation techniques.

A good cured ham carefully ‘roasted’ (just to flavor the outside & heat up) is wonderful. Smells great.

Maybe it’s like turkey — every time I hear someone talk about how ‘dry’ it is, I know someone just didn’t cook it right, and has no idea.

 
 

Maybe it’s like turkey — every time I hear someone talk about how ‘dry’ it is, I know someone just didn’t cook it right, and has no idea.

You’re assuming they’re talking about eating it and not some other act. It’s hard to hold a hen down for foreplay.

QUIT JUDGING ME!

 
 

QUIT JUDGING ME

Someone has to consider the turkey’s needs.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Holy cripes — salt brining is one of the most classic meat preservation techniques.

Sure, and I like it with poultry, but I think dry-cured pork is usually infinitely more interesting and tasty.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Which reminds me that I have a chicken to roast…

 
 

Someone has to consider the turkey’s needs.

That’s why we try the foreplay.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

I too shuddered at the thought of coca cola ham for a long time. I never would have ventured to make such a thing had not Nigella Lawson convinced me to try it. Hey, if Nigella likes it how bad can it be, right? It is….interesting. I wouldn’t say it’s bad but I also don’t think it’s all teh wonderful like the hype. The drippings do make a base for a rather brilliant black bean soup though – almost worth making the ham just for that alone.

 
 

I never would have ventured to make such a thing had not Nigella Lawson

It took three reads before this didn’t read as “Nutella Lawson”…

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Peej, have you done mayonnaise cake? That’s another thing I’ve never understood.

The MIL has also done Coca-Cola cake, which, uhhh…no.

 
 

Her cola ham was just ok. But, yeah, the black bean soup was great and a great use of those drippings.

 
 

It is….interesting. I wouldn’t say it’s bad but I also don’t think it’s all teh wonderful like the hype.

Et tu, Poopay?

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

RC Cola. Also too.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

It took three reads before this didn’t read as “Nutella Lawson”…

HOT.

 
 

Sure, and I like it with poultry, but I think dry-cured pork is usually infinitely more interesting and tasty.

I like both, and in general prefer European-style dry cured meats as tapas etc., but a great roast cured ham on a holiday, damn it’s great. So is a properly roasted non-cured pork shoulder.

 
 

Peej, have you done mayonnaise cake?

Sour cream. Much better.

 
 

Mayo’s main ingredients are oil and whipped eggs, so mayo cakes make a certain amount of sense to me.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Mayo’s main ingredients are oil and whipped eggs, so mayo cakes make a certain amount of sense to me.

Yeah, it’s usually in addition to some of the eggs and oil, or it’s a shortcut from mixing properly. Just use extra eggs and/or mayo, weirdos.

I do believe there’s also a version using Miracle Whip, and as mayonnaise and Miracle Whip were used interchangeably where I’m from, I don’t know what version I had. Miracle Whip, most likely, because it was fucking gross.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Miracle Whip can DIAF.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Eggs and/or oil, I mean. I think I need to eat something…

 
 

I think I need to eat something…

*unzip*

 
 

Miracle Whip is pretty disgusting…but their commercials are PRICELESS. If I didn’t know any better I’d say they were spoofing themselves!

But if they weren’t, Stephen Colbert did it for them.

 
 

Actually glazes made with dark colas are perfectly fine.

Is Code Red dark enough? Because we might have an untapped wingnut market ready to buy Code Red and Cheetos glazed meat products.

 
 

I don’t know, Mysticdog. Do we really want to get the nutters all hopped up on corn syrup and caffeine? Let’s think about this before we do any niche marketing.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I think I need to eat something…

*unzip*

Am I ever going to get a commission or something for setting up your dirty jokes, or what?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Is Code Red dark enough? Because we might have an untapped wingnut market ready to buy Code Red and Cheetos glazed meat products.

Code Red glazed ham (it needs to be that compressed, canned shit) with Cheeto salad and Fancy Cakes for dessert.

 
 

Am I ever going to get a commission or something for setting up your dirty jokes, or what?

I’m willing to give you a piece of the action.

 
 

Miracle Whip is indeed pretty gross, but whipping your own mayonnaise ain’t really all that fun – unless you’re using “whipping your own mayonnaise” as a euphemism for masturbation.

Store-bought mayo in a jar (i.e. Hellman’s) is better than Miracle Whip in most applications, but I prefer Miracle Whip for tuna salad.

 
 

unless you’re using “whipping your own mayonnaise” as a euphemism for masturbation.

I prefer to churn my own butter. Polish my stones. Grind my own tool.

 
 

re: Coca cola ham

Isn’t that why the Invisible Pink Unicorn gave us Ginger Ale?

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

I rarely make cake of any sort, unless you count pancakes (with wild blueberries in season, food of the gawdz). When I do, it’s a classic Genoise or nothing. Julia Child’s Queen of Sheba cake, while not quite being a Genoise, is my go to cake.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Actually, DKW, making one’s own mayo is damn easy in a food processor. And far far better than anything that comes out of a jar.

Isn’t that why the Invisible Pink Unicorn gave us Ginger Ale?

Curiously, I made ginger ale yesterday. Ginger beer, more accurately. It should be ready today.

 
 

Ginger beer, more accurately. It should be ready today.

So it’ll be a Dark & Stormy night tonight?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Actually, DKW, making one’s own mayo is damn easy in a food processor. And far far better than anything that comes out of a jar.

Yup. I used to make it pretty much every day at the bakery where I worked.

My home food processor is shitty, though, so if I feel like making it, I do it my hand.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

BY hand. Dammit.

 
 

I do it my hand.

Freudian much?

 
 

My go-to cake was the Rombauer Special – then I discovered how little I enjoy washing dishes. I’ve been fooling around with various lemon sheets and spice cakes and what not. In terms of best Return on Effort, nothing beats the late great Bette Hagman’s cheesecake.

 
 

How much mayo do you guys make at a time? How long does it keep?

As much as I’d love to spoon hand-made mayo into a bowl and eat it like yogurt again I’ve limited myself to just a bit on sandwiches every now and then.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

How much mayo do you guys make at a time? How long does it keep?

Um, I don’t know…a couple of yolks’ worth? That makes a fair amount, depending on the eggs.

We usually tossed it after three or four days, but that was in a sandwich cooler where it was exposed to air or not. I’d think that if you tightly covered it and put it in the back of the fridge, it would last longer.

Also, too, use farm eggs, not Galtian ones.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

WTF is wrong with me today?

 
 

All this talk of soda in glass bottles, reminds me of the picnics of my youth. We would tromp out to a park and eat all sorts of delicious fried chicken, and watermelon, and people would try to get me to eat things with mayonnaise, and the minute someone opened up one of those fantastic old green bottles of mountain dew, they would immediately get swarmed by wasps.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Also, if you make your own mayo, you can put all sorts of stuff in it!

 
 

“I can believe the “pain in the ass” theory. But there was no pig cheese before milking machines, so I don’t buy that. And I have a hard time believing their worse-tempered than goats.”

Having been raised on a farm I can say that the one animal you NEVER want to get near when nursing is a sow. They are smart and mean and they will fucking kill you as look at you. You do not get into a pen with a 500 lbs. sow with her brood. She’ll crush you up against the wall and turn around and laugh at the stupid human writhing in agony in the pigshit. I don’t like pigs much.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

My food processor has a small bowl attachment which works fine for a single egg yielding about a cup of mayo. I don’t know how long it keeps becyuase I always use it within a couple days.

Mayo is not for just for sandwiches. Add saffron and garlic for a wonderful sauce for fish. Also for fish, remoulade. Lemon juice and tarragon mayo goes well with chicken.

Salad dressings based on mayo: thousand island, Russian, blue cheese, ranch. Make a potato or pasta salad with mayo.

Simple mayo on cold lobster – divine!

 
 

Also, if you make your own mayo, you can put all sorts of stuff in it!

Well there’s no reason why you can’t throw stuff into store-bought jar mayo. Anyways, I wouldn’t know what you mean about putting stuff into your mayonnaise.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

You do not get into a pen with a 500 lbs. sow with her brood. She’ll crush you up against the wall and turn around and laugh at the stupid human writhing in agony in the pigshit. I don’t like pigs much.

This girl who grew up on a farm tried to convince me once that if pigs get a taste for human flesh and you fell into a pigpen with a bunch of pigs, they would eat you alive. Have you ever heard that? Seems a little implausible to me. Not that they won’t eat dead people, of course.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

And Vlaamse frites! My god man, you can not, must not, serve fries without mayo.

 
 

Mayo is not for just for sandwiches

I know. Crab cakes.

I ain’t too fond of salad – even if it’s got blue cheese on it. Cold lobster and mayo sounds fantastic. I bet it makes an awesome sandwich.

 
 

“Well there’s no reason why you can’t throw stuff into store-bought jar mayo. ”

Totally true, and I’ve done it often.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Well there’s no reason why you can’t throw stuff into store-bought jar mayo.

NOT THE SAME.

And, yeah, the mayo I always made was actually garlic aoli. We made it with chipotles for this one sandwich, which was tasty.

I’m not a fan of the blending wasabi in stuff thing. I couldn’t tell you why.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

BTW, kidding about the “NOT THE SAME” thing. Mostly.

 
 

My god man, you can not, must not, serve fries without mayo.

Okay, fries and mayo is pretty damned good – but my Canuckistani palate and all those years of fish and chips outta newspaper wrappings have given me the salt and malt vinegar fetish. So it’s either that or poutine.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I just realized that I cannot roast a chicken because I do not have a roasting pan. Or a rack. Dammit.

 
 

Mayo is good for coating fish when they are to be broiled or grill because it acts as an outer oil / basting but sticks to the fish. And leaves a good flavor.

Though so far I haven’t had the patience to keep trying to make mayo as I always ruin it.

 
 

…I do not have a roasting pan.

Do you have a charcoal gree-yul? Because I know you have beer cans.

 
 

I find the new storebrand “organic” ketchups taste much better, probably not to do with the ‘organic’ but better quality and fewer ingredients. I.e., table sugar instead of fructose syrup.

 
 

Do you have a charcoal gree-yul?

Be careful. The slightest wind may devastate a poor family’s finances by blowing over a grill.

 
 

I don’t have a proper roasting pan either but my chickens always turn out great anyway.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Do you have a charcoal gree-yul? Because I know you have beer cans.

No…and the snob in me shudders at the thought of canned beer in my fancy chicken.

I have seen it done with chopped up veggies underneath the chicken, so I’ll try that.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I find the new storebrand “organic” ketchups taste much better, probably not to do with the ‘organic’ but better quality and fewer ingredients. I.e., table sugar instead of fructose syrup.

Yeah, I get the Annie’s, which has cloves in it, which I think is very tasty. Regular ketchup is pretty gross.

 
 

Regular ketchup is pretty gross.

Fine. I don’t think so, and I’m also used to using lots of more ‘exotic’ ingredients as well. Sometimes I even shop at the eco-yuppie grocery stores.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Fine. I don’t think so, and I’m also used to using lots of more ‘exotic’ ingredients as well. Sometimes I even shop at the eco-yuppie grocery stores.

Sorry, I wasn’t saying that like you were wrong for liking “regular” ketchup. I should have said that I find it relatively flat-tasting and dull after eating the organic stuff. Which is what you were saying, I think.

 
 

No…and the snob in me shudders at the thought of canned beer in my fancy chicken.

Step 1. Drink the beer.
Step 2. Open a bottle of snooty Euro-fag certified organic wine.
Step 3. Pour a glass of wine in the beer can, pour a glass of wine in you, pour a glass of wine in your dinner companion.
Step 4. Open another bottle of wine.
Step 5. ???

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I don’t have a proper roasting pan either but my chickens always turn out great anyway.

Do you use a baking sheet or one of those casserole dish thingies?

 
 

“This girl who grew up on a farm tried to convince me once that if pigs get a taste for human flesh and you fell into a pigpen with a bunch of pigs, they would eat you alive. Have you ever heard that? Seems a little implausible to me. Not that they won’t eat dead people, of course.”

Yeah, seems implausible to me too. Pigs are intelligent and notoriously ill tempered when nursing that’s all. I’m just a little resentful. Probably because I had to do chores before I could do what I really wanted to do.

I like animals, and I respect them, that’s important.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
August 23, 2010 at 18:51

Yeah, honestly, this is closer to the way I cook.

Dinner’s ready! It’s 11:00 and I’m wasted, but it’s delicious!

The upside is that if your food is shitty, nobody notices because they are starving and drunk.

 
 

Do you use a baking sheet or one of those casserole dish thingies?

Unless you’ve got fat-free chicken or a really deep baking sheet, I’m going to go with “baking sheet not recommended”.

 
 

Having been raised on a farm I can say that the one animal you NEVER want to get near when nursing is a sow. They are smart and mean and they will fucking kill you as look at you. You do not get into a pen with a 500 lbs. sow with her brood. She’ll crush you up against the wall and turn around and laugh at the stupid human writhing in agony in the pigshit.

The voice of experience – you’ve convinced me.

I don’t like pigs much.

You don’t say?

 
 

You can roast or bake a regular whole chicken in an oven to get an incredibly great tasting result. It’s not so hard.

I had never really remembered having simple baked chicken done correctly (for some reason turkeys on the holidays were done great, maybe I forgot), I’m pretty sure in our house early on it was mainly cut chicken parts since there were a lot of us.

Yeah, I do the grill rotisserie thing and that’s a different but great flavor but so many things simply prepared and seasoned / herbed have an absolutely fantastic flavor. Most people just don’t know.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Unless you’ve got fat-free chicken or a really deep baking sheet, I’m going to go with “baking sheet not recommended”.

Yeah, you’re right. I have “jelly roll sheets” that I use, so I thiiiink that might work, but I’m not sure.

 
 

“Sometimes I even shop at the eco-yuppie grocery stores.”

I shop for some items at the organic store but I never buy meat there. What is the point of uncured bacon or sausage? But for veggies and produce it’s great.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

You can roast or bake a regular whole chicken in an oven to get an incredibly great tasting result. It’s not so hard.

Yeah, it’s pretty much my favorite thing ever. I’ve done it before, just not without a roasting pan or on top of a rack in a Pyrex thingy.

 
 

The upside is that if your food is shitty, nobody notices because they are starving and drunk.

I was just trying to address your delicate sensibilities about what should or should not be crammed up the orifices of yer fancy chickens. I have no problem with folks getting hammered, but if you’re as concerned about food as it seems – try to save Step 4. for during dinner.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I was just trying to address your delicate sensibilities about what should or should not be crammed up the orifices of yer fancy chickens.

Oh, I know. (Smiley face emoticon thing). And until they start making gluten free beer in cans, I couldn’t do it anyway.

And yes, I can speak from experience that drinking an entire bottle of wine while cooking is a bad idea.

 
 

I was just trying to address your delicate sensibilities about what should or should not be crammed up the orifices of yer fancy chickens.

Before or after they’re slaughtered? Because there may be a little Rule 34 action going on here.

 
 

Yeah, it’s pretty much my favorite thing ever. I’ve done it before, just not without a roasting pan or on top of a rack in a Pyrex thingy.

I do like a roasting pan many times so I can turn the chicken halfway through baking (beginning with the backside up) to brown both sides. But there’s a good bit of basting involved.

And of course RESTING! All cooked meats need to be allowed to sit for a few minutes, 5 – 15, to even out heat, moisture, and thus flavor. We never did that when I was a kid. I only heard about this 10 years or so ago.

 
 

“Yeah, it’s pretty much my favorite thing ever. I’ve done it before, just not without a roasting pan or on top of a rack in a Pyrex thingy.”

What you want is something deeper than a jelly roll sheet. Do you really want to risk a grease fire in your home? And you want one of those thingies that you insert into the cavity and stand the chicken upright. The results are fantastic with a nice crispy skin and ALL the grease rolls off the meat. It doesn’t sit there soaking in it. Beer can chicken will do too.

 
 

I’m living for the hour when a new thread will remove EE’s fat, smug face from the top of this blog.

 
 

“Before or after they’re slaughtered? Because there may be a little Rule 34 action going on here.”

I’m pretty sure there is a rule 34 for both before AND after.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

And you want one of those thingies that you insert into the cavity and stand the chicken upright. The results are fantastic with a nice crispy skin and ALL the grease rolls off the meat. It doesn’t sit there soaking in it.

But I spent all my money on organic, free-range chicken!

 
 

I have “jelly roll sheets” that I use, so I thiiiink that might work, but I’m not sure.

I’ve never actually measured it, but I’m guessing that you get between 0.5 to 1 cup of liquid per pound of roasted chicken. You’ll also need a bit of freeboard for any splashing that might occur.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I’ve never actually measured it, but I’m guessing that you get between 0.5 to 1 cup of liquid per pound of roasted chicken. You’ll also need a bit of freeboard for any splashing that might occur.

Hm, yeah, that’s too much. I’ve never been very good with estimating stuff like that.

 
 

(Smiley face emoticon thing).

I know, I just wanted to abuse the opportunity to use the word orifices.

 
 

“And of course RESTING! All cooked meats need to be allowed to sit for a few minutes, 5 – 15, to even out heat, moisture, and thus flavor. We never did that when I was a kid. I only heard about this 10 years or so ago.”

I learned about this a few years ago; what a difference it makes.

 
 

I know, I just wanted to abuse the opportunity to use the word orifices.

I’m gonna throw a rock orifices at you, depending on what’s ready at hand.

 
 

I’ve never been very good with estimating stuff like that.

I’m not sure if I’m any good at it either. Anyone else got a feel for how much juice comes outta chicks when you get em really hot?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I know, I just wanted to abuse the opportunity to use the word orifices.

Feel free to abuse “orifices” all you want!

Um, er…

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I mean, THAT’S WHAT YOUR MOM SAID!

 
 

“either. Anyone else got a feel for how much juice comes outta chicks when you get em really hot?”

I’m sure there are websites and newsletters that address your concerns.

 
 

Sorry, I wasn’t saying that like you were wrong for liking “regular” ketchup
However, everyone who expressed any kind of appreciation for Mayonnaise is, in fact, wrong. That shit is nasty.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Anyone else got a feel for how much juice comes outta chicks when you get em really hot?

No. And eeewww.

A perfectly roasted chicken is a thing of awesome beauty. Chef applicants are frequently tasked with making a roast chix as a way to test their chops.

A half-sheet pan with one inch sides will work. Though I do it slightly differently, you should google “Thomas Keller’s roast chicken” before embarking on your culinary adventure.

 
 

“Anyone else got a feel for how much juice comes outta chicks when you get em really hot?”

I think it’s about a cup of queef or thereabouts.

 
 

“A half-sheet pan with one inch sides will work.”

I strongly recommend against that. If the pan is full of grease or nearly to the brim how are you going to get it out without spilling the grease? The burners will still be hot and you risk a grease fire.

Please… you need a deep pan.

 
 

I am soooo bookmarking this thread for the next time someone whines about boob threads or music threads or any number of threads.

 
 

“Anyone else got a feel for how much juice comes outta chicks when you get em really hot?”

Well, if my penis is any indication, it’s a whooooooooole fucking lot.

 
 

CHICKEN FAT FIGHT! Who needs a new thread?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

A half-sheet pan with one inch sides will work. Though I do it slightly differently, you should google “Thomas Keller’s roast chicken” before embarking on your culinary adventure.

That’s pretty much how I’ve done it in the past, but with a roasting pan.

I’ve actually decided to brine it this time since it’s a natural chicken and doesn’t have any…I’ll see how that goes.

Also, really, organic and minimally processed poultry is usually leaner and puts out fewer juices.

 
 

Chef applicants are frequently tasked with making a roast chix

I can do this! First, you liquor her up, which is the “roasting” part, then making her is simply a matter of waiting for the roofies to kick in.

 
 

Or… failing that you risk burning yourself, or making a big greasy mess that you’ll have to clean up.

Those tinfoil roasters are only a couple bucks. Save yourself the aggravation, third degree burns and fire hazard.

 
 

Also, really, organic and minimally processed poultry is usually leaner and puts out fewer juices.

Yea, them granola chicks can get a little frigid, but if you offer to donate to Greenpeace, they come along nicely.

 
 

Do you use a baking sheet or one of those casserole dish thingies?

Casserole. I am gonna invest in a proper roasting pan and rack, though, because I think if you want to make that PERFECT roasted chicken, it just makes life easier.

 
 

I’m officially feeling sorry for anyone who is not a foodie now.

Hey, if you get bored, just talk about whatever you fucking want at my forum.

 
 

“A half-sheet pan with one inch sides will work.”
Get a deeper pan, and fill it halfway with lye, the fat and lye will combine to make soap, so if you do end up spilling it, it will only make whatever you spill it on cleaner!

 
 

Also, if you’re interested, here’s an incredibly good article about the “grass roots” Tea Party movement.

 
 

the fat and lye will combine to make soap, so if you do end up spilling it, it will only make whatever you spill it on cleaner!

You’re such a lyer.

 
Marion in Savannah
 

Get a deeper pan, and fill it halfway with lye, the fat and lye will combine to make soap, so if you do end up spilling it, it will only make whatever you spill it on cleaner!

The people at work wonder why I snort and guffaw from time to time… What the hell am I supposed to tell them?! (Do you think those Drano crystals would work, or would they just eat through the bottom of the roaster?)

 
 

I never did the beer chicken but I have done trash can turkey on numerous occaisions (usually for Cub scout demonstrations). It’s so very unlikely people are always suprised by it.

Prop up a turkey (preferable in sand or loose soil). Put trash can over turkey, getting a good deal at the bottom (that’s where the sand/loose dirt comes in). Put a big bag of charcoal on top and around the trash can, and light it up. In 45 minutes, a perfectly cooked, incredibly juicy turkey. (Liquid Smoke in a pie plate underneath the turkey is an option for a more smoked favor).

Looks ridiculous, works wonderfully. We have measured the can temperature at 800 degrees. Very impressive demo, and you get to eat afterwords. I know several folks that do their Thanksgiving turkeys this way.

 
 

The people at work wonder why I snort and guffaw from time to time… What the hell am I supposed to tell them?!

You get high on life in America, in all its splendiferous wonder.

 
 

s/deal/seal/

s/afterwords/afterwards

Sheesh.

 
 

I kept trying to talk my cronies into dumpster buffalo, but we never gave that a whirl.

 
 

Looks ridiculous, works wonderfully. We have measured the can temperature at 800 degrees. Very impressive demo, and you get to eat afterwords. I know several folks that do their Thanksgiving turkeys this way.

Sounds like you can get rid of the pile of leaves on your lawn, too.

 
 

I kept trying to talk my cronies into dumpster buffalo, but we never gave that a whirl.

Shipping container elephant is where it’s at.

 
 

I kept trying to talk my cronies into dumpster buffalo, but we never gave that a whirl.

You haven’t lived until you’ve had cyclotron whale blubber.

 
 

And David Koch, in a recent, admiring article about him in New York, protested that the “radical press” had turned his family into “whipping boys,” and had exaggerated its influence on American politics.

LOLWUT.

You could count the percentage of Americans who are even aware of the Kochs’ existence on the fingers of one hand and still have four fingers left. Hell, they’re the Moriartys of right wing finance – the men pervade America, and no one has heard of them!

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I kept trying to talk my cronies into dumpster buffalo, but we never gave that a whirl.

Shipping container elephant is where it’s at.

Something something really big whale is tasty, too.

 
 

Looks ridiculous, works wonderfully.

We are getting dangerously close to clambake territory – and then the real fighting will start – i.e. about whether seaweed is optional or mandatory.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

You haven’t lived until you’ve had cyclotron whale blubber.

Oh, I failed SO HARD at that one.

 
 

“I kept trying to talk my cronies into dumpster buffalo, but we never gave that a whirl.”

You need to remove the homeless people to make room first.

 
 

“I kept trying to talk my cronies into dumpster buffalo, but we never gave that a whirl.”

You need to remove the homeless people to make room first.

There goes all the seasoning…

 
 

Oh, I failed SO HARD at that one.

That’s what HE said.

 
 

“I kept trying to talk my cronies into dumpster buffalo, but we never gave that a whirl.”

You need to remove the homeless people to make room first.

There goes all the seasoning…

The giblets?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

You could count the percentage of Americans who are even aware of the Kochs’ existence on the fingers of one hand and still have four fingers left. Hell, they’re the Moriartys of right wing finance – the men pervade America, and no one has heard of them!

I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t know much, if anything about them if I hadn’t grown up in Kansas.

 
 

“We are getting dangerously close to clambake territory”

Minnesota is pretty far from there. We do have smelts though and as a last resort I can always get out the recipe for lutefisk: Dig a pit throw a bunch of lye in the bottom and fish on top. Cover and wait a couple months. Enjoy!

 
 

We do have smelts though and as a last resort I can always get out the recipe for lutefisk: Dig a pit throw a bunch of lye in the bottom and fish on top. Cover and wait a couple months. Enjoy!

a) First one who smelt it, dealt it.

b) I advocate eating the lye.

 
 

Cooking with Lye, a SadlyNo! Adventure Story!

 
Marion in Savannah
 

You get high on life in America, in all its splendiferous wonder.

Seeing as it’s generally The Stupidest Woman In America(TM) who asks me, that would probably go over very well.

 
Marion in Savannah
 

FYWP. That TM showed up as superscript in preview…

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Seeing as it’s generally The Stupidest Woman In America(TM) who asks me, that would probably go over very well.

I’ll bet you my Stupidest Woman In America (TM) co-worker could give yours a run for her money….

 
 

Cooking with Lye, a SadlyNo! Adventure Story!

None of our customers ever complained!

Of course, we don’t get much repeat business. We do make a nice side business selling soap.

 
 

that would probably go over very well.

I’ve been practicing making inane and bizarre statements with a straight face. It serves well when one encounters (if I may be triply redundant) idiots, the insane, teabaggers, and proselytizers.

 
 

“I’ll bet you my Stupidest Woman In America (TM) co-worker could give yours a run for her money….”

Mine is Michele Bachmann… your move….

 
 

I’ve been practicing making inane and bizarre statements with a straight face.

“I do.”

 
Marion in Savannah
 

I’ll bet you my Stupidest Woman In America (TM) co-worker could give yours a run for her money….

Does yours proudly display her certificate of membership in the Tea Party in her cube? Mine does.

 
 

Oh, no. More big government ObamaHitler punishment of business just for being successful.

FDA Chief: Enforcement of food safety too limited

WASHINGTON – Farms like the two involved in a massive recall of more than a half-billion eggs are rarely inspected by the federal government, officials say, as the Food and Drug Administration has traditionally reacted to outbreaks instead of working to prevent them.

Food and Drug Administration chief Margaret Hamburg said Monday her agency hasn’t had enough authority to help prevent outbreaks like the more than 1,000 cases of salmonella poisoning linked to the eggs from two Iowa farms.

Giving a series of network interviews, Hamburg said the FDA is taking the issue “very, very seriously.” At the same time, she said Congress should pass legislation stalled in the Senate that would increase the frequency of inspections and give the agency authority to order a recall. Companies now have to issue such recalls voluntarily.

“We need better abilities and authorities to put in place these preventive controls and hold companies accountable,” Hamburg said.

Food safety advocates have pushed for such improvements for more than a decade, as there have been few rules on the books that require companies to make eggs, along with many other foods, safer. The FDA’s authority on the farm is questionable as the agency is often limited to gathering information about a contamination outbreak after people have already been sickened. Investigations into what went wrong come well after the crucial evidence is gone.

How the heck are our nation’s food producers going to survive profitably if they can’t take advantage of exploding feces and rotted E-coli and salmonella-infested bits to economically make their meat products?

And here when Ronald Reagan worked so hard to undercut oppression against our nation’s poultry and meat processing plants by cutting inspectors down to nearly zero and thus making them unable to visit a few plants over a year and even that in a high speed visit. FREEDOM!

More of this and we won’t be able to afford food any more nor the hospitalization needed to treat our food-borne illnesses. Communo-fatcysts!

 
 

Oh!! I should have read that moare closer like. No no no no, I don’t work anywhere near her. I thought you meant state congress critters…

:::shame::::

 
 

There is no shame in physical distance from Michelle Bachmann.

 
Marion in Savannah
 

Hell, noen, I was about to concede that yours was even stupider than mine! However, mine gives money to creatures like yours so on second thought…

 
 

I’ve been practicing making inane and bizarre statements with a straight face.

“I do.”

I was grinning when I said that.

 
 

I was grinning when I said that.

Yea, but she wasn’t 😉

 
 

“There is no shame in physical distance from Michelle Bachmann.”

I feel shame for misreading and getting facts wrong. Does that make me un American??

 
 

I feel shame for misreading and getting facts wrong. Does that make me un American??
yes.
now sing 3 Lee Greenwoods, and 5 Toby Keiths. Go and sin no more.

 
 

Does that make me un American??

Drink some Brawndo. All will be okay.

 
Marion in Savannah
 

Brawndo

???? Whazzat???

 
 

Brawndo

???? Whazzat???

*GASP*

We’re supposed to keep up with Internet traditions!

Brawndo website

The Origin

 
 

“Drink some Brawndo. All will be okay.”

I am still totally surprised that Fox doesn’t have “Ow, my balls!” in it’s line up. Though I suppose one could argue that they just renamed it Red Eye.

 
 

Personally, I think Carl’s, Jr ought to change its motto to “Fuck you! I’m eating”

 
 

Brawndo has what plants crave. It’s got electrolytes.

 
Marion in Savannah
 

We’re supposed to keep up with Internet traditions!

Y’all keep forgetting how old and naive I am. Remember that I’m the one who hadn’t seen goatse until about, what, 6 weeks ago was it? Thanks fer ‘splainin’ me.

 
 

I loved that movie. I constantly want to go to Starbucks and ask for a Gentleman’s Latte with full release.

 
 

I constantly want to go to Starbucks and ask for a Gentleman’s Latte with full release.

And hold the coffee…

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Does yours proudly display her certificate of membership in the Tea Party in her cube? Mine does.

Okay, no. You win. Although this one didn’t know about the BP spill until about two months in…

 
 

New threa-diddly-iddly =================>

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

how are you going to get it out without spilling the grease?

Carefully. Seriously folks, trust me on this: if all you have is a half-sheet pan, use it; there will be no problems.

 
 

dang, i wish that sammich was a kfc double down…

 
 

“I kept trying to talk my cronies into dumpster buffalo, but we never gave that a whirl.”

You need to remove the homeless people to make room first.

There goes all the seasoning…

Don’t remove the hide or colon of the buffalo and you’ll replace the lost p00p and lice, but you’ll need to throw in a little crack to really replicate the whole homeless flavor profile.

 
 

Having been raised on a farm I can say that the one animal you NEVER want to get near when nursing is a sow.
Farm-boy Smut says “What Noen said”.
It’s an even worse idea if the sow is lactating. They will cut you.
——————–
Yeah this is almost what the Nazis said about the Jews; with the only difference being that Muslims can refute their religion and become Good Americans whereas Jews were always Jews.

Sadly, no! American Thinker considers that post-renunciation, they remain Muslims, albeit courageous ones:
other courageous Muslims such as Ayaan Hirsi Ali or Wafa Sultan.

 
 

Casserole thingy? Hope that you are not refering to those feats of artistic marvel knows as hand made pottery casseroles? http://www.sidestreetstudoi.com

 
 

I say, fuck the Man in the sky! ~ “The Invention of Lying”

 
 

SAD TROMBONE JESUS …. now there’s a band name!

Their first album, of course, to help the dim, should be titled, MWAH MWAAAAAAH.

 
 

SAD TROMBONE JESUS …. now there’s a band name!

Their first album, of course, to help the dim, should be titled, MWAH MWAAAAAAH.

Nelson Muntz and the Sad Trombone Jesuses.

 
 

Haw haw! Your savior got martyred!

 
 

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