And No One Ever Heard From Sully Again…

Andrew Sullivan launched a missile test yesterday, entering as a late combatant into the great Sucky Video Wars of Aught-Six. Oh yes, he did! No, we don’t know what he’s trying to pull either.
As we’re all so grimly aware, vast territories of the earth are now uninhabitable, although chronologies differ as to who launched the first scorching fusillade. Some say Atrios, some say The Poor Man. We would admit that as a European-based blog, our time stamps are not as they might seem. Regardless, the fault is unquestionably The Poor Man’s, because we can blame him for things and he seldom does anything about it. Witness:

I’ve finally arrived
Posted by The Editors under Uncategorized
[52] Comments

The truth comes out:

While I’m not familiar with “the editors� blog, I think that I read somewhere that the proprietor is an ex-lover of Andrew Sullivan.

I think you may have read that in The Unexpurgated Book of Truth. In the comments, please post any other things you’ve read somewhere about the proprietors.

Sullivan’s ‘bad video’ was, as it happens, taken uncredited from The Poor Man. Was its relaunch by Sullivan a mere velleity, or a desperate act of heartsick vengeance? The world, charred and blasted though it is, yet holds many interesting questions.

Yes. Where were we? Oh right: left-blogosphere becomes giant robot, destroys alien space monster. Roxanne in effect! Este País Estéril en efecto! Pandagon in effect! The Axis of Really Annoying in effect! (Bakayaro!) We’re plenty mad.

We’ve got a really big show for you tonight, and our first guest is truly a man who needs no introduction. Let’s give him a warm hand, because we’re so glad he could come:

Are you ready to rock? …I can’t hear you. I said, are you ready to rock? What? I can’t hear you. Are you ready to… Oh no, no you’re not. Trust me, you’re not ready.

Now let’s put our big ol’ hairy bear paws together and give a round of applause for something altogether less fatal to all human life as we know it, yet certainly puzzling: Cindy Cochran of KUHT-TV, Houston, with her all-singing, all-dancing American Sign Language version of the hit song, ‘Fame (I’m Going to Live Forever)’:

As we have learned so well, after having featured the elitist Liberal special-interest of hearing-impaired people, it is now only fair and balanced to grant equal time to a conservative message. It isn’t exactly the Bell Curve (and we’re no New Republic!) but Andrew will certainly admire our moral courage in presenting the daring comedy stylings of Pittsburgh’s own Random Brothers:

Wasn’t that fair and balanced? …Um, unfortunately, all the rest of our acts tonight have now cancelled their performances and are busy phoning their lawyers. Instead, please welcome… Kaptain Kool and the Kongs!

Whoops, it got cut off. Um, please welcome North Korea’s own Mo Kin.

Oh, the finale’s about to start.

If anyone should chance to pick up a radio transmission from Sullivan or his henchmen emitting from some deep bunker or locale pockmarked with caves, please send more fiery Hell his way. This coalition shall not negotiate with tyrants!1!!!1


Comments: 39


Why won’t MAD work in situations like these?


I hate you. No, seriously. The Brady Bunch? Who’s idea was it to put white girls in orange. Or, you know, let these people anywhere near a sound stage…


What is it with you guys and Korean kids?


Who knew the Editors were into bears so much? The *things* one learns online–!


While this attack was no doubt provoked, I find this to be a disproportionate response.

That said, Sadly, No! does have the right to defend itself.


God, I hate teh internets. I hate that the bloggers I love are willing to destroy the little goodness teh internets had for me for their own imperialism.


I don’t know what you’re trying to pull here, but I don’t think that was the real Jan.


I don’t know what you’re trying to pull here, but I don’t think that was the real Jan.

Eve Plumb should’ve gotten the Presidential Medal of Freedom for turning that gig down. Of course, she did do “The Brady Brides,” so I guess it’s a wash.

And the Random Brothers. Wow. Have those guys ever played a Santorum campaign event?


The fact is that your videos are not sucky enough.

Why, I have not seen ONE Duran Duran video since this so-called Great Video War for Civilization began.

And where’s the Rick Springfield?

I ask you.


Ah the Hair Band days, where if you could play a practice pattern really really fast, you could call it a solo and be a Guitar God.

That korean kid was Juchetastic.


[…] They wouldn’t listen to my calls for peace, now the Sadly, No! crew can now benefit from the fact that Emboldened’s crack scientists have spent the last week developing the bad music video to end all bad music videos. It is our version of the Manhattan Project and it is awesome. […]


The last week has been spent developing a way to end this war. It was my blog’s version of the Manhattan Project and I give it to you in the hopes that if you won’t sue for peace, you’ll win it through shear destructive power. And because you’re the best around.


Blech – I need to wash my brain out w/ bleach after seeing the Schwartzenegger clip. That one video alone would have made any sensible web combatant sue for peace.



Oh I raise your Karate Kid clip with this Damme dancing clip.

Porgy Tirebiter

Marsha Brady is hot.


Kudos for not going with the obvious Brady clip.


Stealing is wrong, Andrew. Repent and credit The Editors, before things get ugly and someone drops Nina Hagen.


Ewwww, who got short curlies in the bong water? Fess up now, that’s just gross.


Yes, while you were fooling around fortifying your barricades (whatever That means, ya pervies!), I’ve been in and out, and taken Gavin’s secret video collection.

Ninja! Ha ha!!

Also, Blog Integrity has a new post.

But more importantly… Ninja! Ha ha!!


Marsha Brady is hot.

All I ever hear is Marsha, Marsha, MARSHA!!!!!11!!


On the Freight Train video, he never uses the lower right guitar. I think it is just for show.

Herr Doktor Bimler

a mere velleity
Velleity! Anyone would think you brought Gore Vidal on board as guest author of that sentence.
I look forward to seeing the words Invidious, Nugatory and Otiose in future posts. Not necessarily within the same sentence.


Jesus, Gary, you’re even a bad music troll.

ned fucking flanders

I don’t know if this one has already been used in the Great Patriotic Blog Video War, but if not, keep it in reserve until you really, really need it:


That first Nitro record (OFR – stands for for OUT FUCKING RAGEOUS) is ear-bleeding good. In Machine Gun Eddie (machi ee ee ee ee een gun… EDDIE!) The singer holds a wail for about 40 seconds ending with yyyyeah!


I must say it’s odd that the Friends of Mr. Cairo bomb hasn’t dropped yet.


[…] While better blogs than this one have been scouring the intertubes for the worst videos ever, I have been searching for truly terrible music. And with that in mind, we bring you today for your listening pleasure “America United” — a cloying, repetitive song cooked up by a famous wingnut and poorly-sung by a one-hit wonder. Click the play button below, if you dare. […]


Why does the three year old North Korean girl have a bra woven into her costume?



I should know better than to cklick the play links on those by now.

Please, Rev Swank, write something! Distract these guys from their foul arsenal!


Do we really need to get law enforcement involved?


Ok, this one is really kind of fun:



Oh no you didn’t!!!!

Its time! The end must come. For all that is holy, I must launch the final attack. My terrorists are deployed!


(Surveys the ruined landscape, spots the charred remains of an orange jumpsuit)

War is hell.


I can’t believe no one’s dropped any Harvey Sid Fisher yet. Here’s a cluster bomb, right up your urethra!!

I am I am I am the RAM!


The Forged Demon commits war crimes with this Typodong attack:

That’s right, I went there.

Nancy in Detroit

Has anyone used this yet?


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