Brave, brave, brave, brave sir Doughbob!

What I gather from Jo’berg’s piece is that he is powerless against Chicago-style, especially the deep dish pizza.

I find the chest thumping taunts unworthy of a serious response and the thoughtful stuff unworthy of the sort of response I could come up with now.

Followed by a Goldbergian, Cheetos-fueled PHAAAAAAARRRRRTTTTTT!
~

For what it’s worth, I agree with him that a lot of liberals are relishing playing the race card, because it’s always their favorite card, even when it’s illegitimate.

FTR, there was a time when I agreed with Republicans and conservatives on most policy issues (long time ago, that was).

But the reason I always resisted actually identifying as Republican or conservative (I’d have said right-leaning independent) was precisely because of the undercurrent of identity politics running through the movement. If it wasn’t race, it was religion, culture, or nationality, but the sentiment of “my group is better than these groups because I was born to it” was something so nearly universal when speaking to conservatives that it alone was enough to keep me from completely joining the movement.

By the way, playing the race card doesn’t win us votes. It alienates tons of people who aren’t comfortable discussing racism in America and would rather pretend that that civil rights movement put an end to it, not to mention the bigots themselves. We play it because it’s true, not because it helps us.

Alternate Shorter:

Not only am I better than liberals, I’m better than Rush Limbaugh and Andrew Breitbart. So there.

I’d like to single out one thing that he wrote in the “G-File” (?):

Many of Breitbart’s biggest supporters insist that the Right needs to out-Alinsky the Alinskyites. As a matter of principle, I generally disagree with all of that. Chalk up my reluctance to whatever motivation you like; I can’t stop you. But, as a writer, being an Alinskyite is not what I signed up for. I think I stretch the boundaries of what pundits are supposed to do in print (don’t believe me? pull my finger). But the very definition of an Alinskyite is someone who will do anything for the cause and who counsels others to do likewise. That’s simply not what I signed up for.

Hmm. Well, Doughy, I’ll grant that you’re not nearly as bad as Breitbart on this front, but the noting that your hands are clean is a farce. Exhibit A: Your little Magnum Dopus, Liberal Fascism. From your own words from interviews and posts, I gather that you wrote this thing not so much because it was true, but because you thought liberals were misusing the word fascism (irony obviously being lost on you). In the book, you freely admit that your overly broad definition of fascism would encompass almost everyone, including most conservatives. All of this suggests that you wrote this book not in the spirit of honest exploration, not because you sincerely believed in the thesis, but to put liberals on the defensive. So Jonah, take a bow and shut up.

This is Sparta!!!!!!

I find the chest thumping taunts unworthy of a serious response and the thoughtful stuff unworthy of the sort of response I could come up with now.

IOW, he’s not writing anything. Hell, the whole “I don’t wanna out-ratfuck the ratfuckers because Conservatives Don’t Do That” was pasted in from elsewhere.

But, here’s something to noodle: Lots of folks took no position at all, and hence risked no plague of harsh emails. Just something to ponder.

Oh, so brave! Death by a thousand hundred dozen or so sternly-worded letters from distant strangers.

the very definition of an Alinskyite is someone who will do anything for the cause and who counsels others to do likewise

Nobody ever committed themselves to do everything for a cause and counselled others to do likewise before Saul Alinsky.

This was a totally new invention by a 1960s liberal-left community organizer.

It was like the development of the atomic bomb. Once it was invented, you couldn’t put the genie back in the bottle, and its overwhelming force left formerly powerful social groups such as multi-billionaires and their hired magazines and pundits and fake grassroots organizations and lobbyists.

The Race Card is fine for beginners, but as you move up in rank and experience in the World of Liberal Warcraft, you should set it aside and dedicate your time to mastering the Holocaust Card.

I really should read Alinsky. I assume he was less “Crush your enemy and hear the lamentation of their women” and more “You aren’t going to get that community center built by arguing about Trotskyites.”

Sigh. They’re still fighting the sixties, the most evil time EVAR. Every time one of them mentions Alinsky I hear Cartman screaming HIPPIES!

I smell fear.

It was Jonah, not J-Lo who wrote this WTAB post ?

Jesus the man whines like girl!

Sigh. They’re still fighting the sixties, the most evil time EVAR. Every time one of them mentions Alinsky I hear Cartman screaming HIPPIES!

I don’t think hippies have all that much to do with why they hate the sixties so much.

Now, there certainly will be times when I support going to the mattresses

AUUUUGGGGGHHHH!

DO
NOT
WANT

*drills hole in head and pours in hydrofluoric acid*

“What I gather from Jo’berg’s piece is that he is powerless against Chicago-style, especially the deep dish pizza.”

Lulz. That pizza is thuggish.

“Telford received huge cheers for saying that with 1,100 registered attendees, RightOnline was larger than Netroots Nation. He said the progressive event had estimated “between 1,000 and 2,000 attendees.” But Netroots Nation’s official spokeswoman Mary Rickles told TPM that Netroots has 2,100 registered attendees.”

“Phillips also boasted about the (faulty) attendance figures. “In our third year, Right Online is bigger than Netroots Nation,” he said, to cheers. Phillips added that he believes the netroots crowd at the Rio casino isn’t happy. “They are really angry and bitter,” he said.”

“AFP started RightOnline to counter Netroots Nation, celebrating its fifth anniversary and holds the event each year in the same city as the progressive event.”

http://tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com/2010/07/conservative-counter-event-boasts-bigger-size-than-netroots.php‘

And I bet even when given direct evidence to the contrary many would continue to believe they had a “Bigger” event than Netroots.

At least the “Blind Faith” in a god has the element of the unknown.

Whatever ‘brand of Faith’ the RightOnliners practice, hyper-co-dependence certainly appears to be a critical component.

Liberal Fascism is certainly one of it’s sacred texts.

J–lulz.

Can’t bear the idea of getting off the boat. I’m just gonna sit back and enjoy the lulz.

Please for the love of God. We can not support Jonah anymore.

Nobody ever committed themselves to do everything for a cause and counselled others to do likewise before Saul Alinsky.

You’d almost believe he’s never seen Braveheart.

Almost, of course, because there’s no way Jonah’d skip a movie starring that bigot Mel Gibson.

What I gather from Jo’berg’s piece is that he is powerless against Chicago-style, especially the deep dish pizza.

This is Sparta!!!!!!

For tonight, we dine at Uno!

@ The Mattresses–

Relax. By “going to the mattresses” Goldberg means, not “entering into a high state of alert for a war between rival, ruthless factions,” but, rather, “kicking back with a big bowl of Cheezy-Poofs and a six of Bud Light and just takin’ ‘er easy.”

Nobody ever committed themselves to do everything for a cause and counselled others to do likewise before Saul Alinsky.

You’d almost believe he’s never seen Braveheart.

Or read the Bible, as alluded to by Hysterical Woman.

I got out of the boat. He actually used the phrase “pull my finger,” which is a) bizarre, and b) makes no damn sense.

Ewww.

Also, too that’ll teach you to get off the boat.

How can “pull my finger” ever by out of context with Jonah? I mean, that’s like his whole stitch.

Freaking intertron, how does it work?

But, as a writer, being a Straussian is what I signed up for. I think I stretch the boundaries of what pundits are supposed to do in print (don’t believe me? pull my finger). But the very definition of a Straussian is someone who will do anything for the cause and who counsels others to do likewise. That’s simply what I signed up for.

Jonah
“But, here’s something to noodle: Lots of folks took no position at all, and hence risked no plague of harsh emails. Just something to ponder.”

Even his catch phrase for thinking is all about food.

I WILL BRAVE THE PLAGUE OF HARSH EMAILS!! I AM SPARTA!

I think Goldberg’s right. Racial kerfuffles like l’affaire Breitbart should not distract conservatives from the serious business of exploiting racial resentment for votes.

But if you’re going to fight Chicago style, you need to be really, really right.

I not fear your Chicago style, Mistah Doucher College! Drunken Monkey Style!

Curridge!

I really should read Alinsky. I assume he was less “Crush your enemy and hear the lamentation of their women” and more “You aren’t going to get that community center built by arguing about Trotskyites.”

If that’s the gist of it, I wish they’d air-drop copies on Seattle… what was wrong with the old pejorative Machiavellian? Did Tupac ruin that one or what?

The sad fact is that if the GOP weren’t a bunch of greedy perverted fuckups, they’d run everything right now. I don’t know where this notion that the Democrats are a bunch of cold-blooded tacticians came from, but if this book has been around since the 60’s and is so incredibly potent, how come it’s only coming up now? Are we supposed to believe that, say, Tom Daschle had the Alinsky death ray locked in his desk the whole time? I don’t think so. It would be like if the Republicans sat on the “Southern Strategy” for 50 years.

Because Obama won they think the Democrats have a coherent strategy? I mean seriously, did you see the jackass he was running against? Because of stuff Obama’s done since getting elected? Really??? Don’t we all wish.

I am not getting off the boat, because those mangos look too stupid, but is this another example of the same article going out under both Goldberg and Lopez’s names, as I recall happening a while back, and that’s why Jonah has K-Lo’s hair? Or is this simply a case of “Tintin has an ugly stick and he’s not afraid to swing it”?

“if the GOP weren’t a bunch of greedy perverted fuckups, they’d run everything right now. ”

I was sort of under the impression that they do run everything right now. Not the government, but more or less everything else.

Goldberg expresses his opinions even after having a backwards “B” carved into his face. Now that’s bravery.

Because Obama won they think the Democrats have a coherent strategy? I mean seriously, did you see the jackass he was running against? Because of stuff Obama’s done since getting elected? Really??? Don’t we all wish.

They’ll do anything to avoid admitting that they caused Obama’s election – one of my conservative friends was even whining last summer that Obama only won because he was black. Yes, because being black has historically been such an advantage in politics.

That may be hope for the future, ironically – as long as they refuse to face their own fuckups, it means they’ll do it again.

J Neo Marvin said,
July 25, 2010 at 18:18 · Edit

… Or is this simply a case of “Tintin has an ugly stick and he’s not afraid to swing it”?

It’s cuz I have an ugly stick and it’s fun to whack Dough-Jo with it.

“Goldberg expresses his opinions even after having a backwards “B” carved into his face.”

That was just ketchup.

So now Jonah “Still Trying To Get The Tangy Stench Of Dubya’s Ball-Sweat Out Of My Face-Mullet” Goldberg thinks he’s I.F. Muthafuckin’ Stone because something about the Sharrod scam rubbed his antennae the wrong way & he said so? Not to mention the agony of having his delicate retinas raped by mean Internets comments?Yeah, that’s totes hardcore heroism – you poor little thing … pardon me for not swooning.

I don’t think conservatives were right in this case, or at least right enough.

“Beware! There is a heretic lurking among you! Find him … & BURN HIM!”

I find the chest thumping taunts unworthy of a serious response and the thoughtful stuff unworthy of the sort of response I could come up with now.

LOLWUT

Rules for Radicals is about how to help people without power organize to take power from the powerful.

The Rules go to 11.

Rules was the follow-up to the 1946 Reville for Radicals.

These people are so strange.

I believe Alinsky (all praise unto his name) first came to the attention of your contemporary wingnut when someone pointed out that Hillary wrote a thesis on his teachings in college. No need to look deeper than that to find cause for alarm but also, community organizing, Obama, Chicago style deep dish thuggery, the fact is connect the dots, sheeple, are you going to finish those Funyuns, Mom, we’re all out of Cheez Whiz, if you get the “light” kind I’ll be so mad!

I just read those rules. I’m pretty sure I’ve seen most oF themf implemented by conservatives. I guess the idea that some of their tactics could be used against them really galls them.

Saul Alinsky, Chicago-style, the 60s, etc. More crap that wingnuts hadn’t ever talked about ever before 2008, yet act like they’ve been morally opposed to all this time.

Whatever, Loadpants.

@stryx: I’d never seen those, actually. They seem pretty benign, don’t they? And, as vacuumslayer noted, they’re hardly unique to one side. #3 has been SOP for conservatives since the Gingrich years, and #8 has been around since the Reagan years.

And, as vacuumslayer noted, they’re hardly unique to one side. #3 has been SOP for conservatives since the Gingrich years, and #8 has been around since the Reagan years.

#10, however, is pretty foreign to the right, unless you count blurting out “Tax cuts!” over and over again.

Yeah, who would have ever thought the righties would be all about the projection. And the standing with the entrenched powers.

Here’s a clip from a 1972 Alinsky interview with Playboy (my bold):

ALINSKY: In all the ways I’ve been talking about, from taxation to pollution. The middle class actually feels more defeated and lost today on a wide range of issues than the poor do. And this creates a situation that’s supercharged with both opportunity and danger. There’s a second revolution seething beneath the surface of middle-class America — the revolution of a bewildered, frightened and as-yet-inarticulate group of desperate people groping for alternatives — for hope. Their fears and their frustrations over their impotence can turn into political paranoia and demonize them, driving them to the right, making them ripe for the plucking by some guy on horseback promising a return to the vanished verities of yesterday. The right would give them scapegoats for their misery — blacks, hippies, Communists — and if it wins, this country will become the first totalitarian state with a national anthem celebrating “the land of the free and the home of the brave.”But we’re not going to abandon the field to them without a long, hard fight — a fight I think we’re going to win. Because we’ll show the middle class their real enemies: the corporate power elite that runs and ruins the country — the true beneficiaries of Nixon’s so-called economic reforms. And when they swing their sights on that target, the sh– will really hit the fan.

Their fears and their frustrations over their impotence can turn into political paranoia and demonize them, driving them to the right, making them ripe for the plucking by some guy on horseback promising a return to the vanished verities of yesterday.

Reagan.

And, as vacuumslayer noted, they’re hardly unique to one side. #3 has been SOP for conservatives since the Gingrich years, and #8 has been around since the Reagan years.

Rules for Reaganites:
#1 In defiance of reason and reality, call yourselves “The Silent Majority…”

First time reading these rules for me too – it’s political SOP, there’s nothing liberal or particularly radical about them.

Then again, I can more than understand why “make them live up to their own values” would INFURIATE right wingers.

when someone pointed out that Hillary wrote a thesis on his teachings in college

The Rosetta Stone of Hillary Studies.

I look forward to the right-wing response to a Democratic presidential candidate who in college made mention of James Scott and weapons of the weak.

That’s a great Alinsky quote. If these morons want to “smear” us by comparing us to someone as sharp and perceptive as this, they can go right ahead.

oh, and did you know Saul David Alinsky was a jewish jew from jewlandia?

Actually he was born on the west side of Chicago- to jews!

Not that the bright white christian right sees anything wrong with that.

OT: Looks like Elizabeth Warren is the next target of right-wing slander, and Megan McArdle is leading the charge.

But, here’s something to noodle: Lots of folks took no position at all, and hence risked no plague of harsh emails.

Whereas smarter folks qualify every position they take with “On a deadline, gotta go.”

Wingnut logic works like this, Saul Alinsky was evil because Hillary and Obama studied his work, Hillary and Obama are evil because they studied his work. No further proof is necessary so yes, it will work just fine with James Scott and the future candidate. Even if no such link can be found, just point out that future candidate has never denounced Scott’s work so therefore Scott is evil, future candidate is evil because,,,

I got out of the boat. He actually used the phrase “pull my finger,” which is a) bizarre, and b) makes no damn sense.

I was confused by this also. I’m assuming PantsLoad is trying to be funny. Or something? Or maybe he can’t fart anymore unless someone pulls his finger? Like those people who can achieve orgasm unless they are being choked.

Sorry in advance for the graphic image that may or may not be in your head.

you should set it aside and dedicate your time to mastering the Holocaust Card.

There’s no business like shoah business.

Goldie Mon needs dreadlox.
Sorry, gotta go, I have to go get lost in the weeds. Later, mon.

I collected both race cards and Holocaust cards as a kid but sadly I can’t play them today because my mom threw them away along with the Buster von Braun shoe boxes I kept them in. Still can’t believe she did that.

The Jesus card trumps the race cards and Holocaust cards. Plus you get extra lives and healing spells and the casting out of demons cards.

But, here’s something to noodle: Lots of folks took no position at all, and hence risked no plague of harsh emails.

“They don’t boo nobodies.” — Reggie Jackson

Also, the verb, to noodle? Combined with the fart “joke”, I’m thinking the pasta salad Jonah had for lunch and/or his small intestine should share the byline on this one.

According to Alinsky, the main job of the organizer is to bait an opponent into reacting. “The enemy properly goaded and guided in his reaction will be your major strength.”

Maybe this is why they think Obama is a student of Alinsky — he never takes their bait? Everybody knows you can’t out-Alinsky an Alinskyite!

Jesus cards were ok but you didn’t even get that stiff bubblegum with them. Instead you got some even less flavorful white disc. WTF? I used to feed them to the dog.

Saul Alinsky was evil because Hillary and Obama studied his work, Hillary and Obama are evil because they studied his work.

You left out, “Saul Alinsky name-checked Milton’s character of Satan — ‘Non Serviam’ and all that — therefore Alinsky was a Satanist”.

Magnum Dopus

Nice.

Also: they actually put gum in trading cards these days still? I thought the collectors would shriek about how the card value was RUINED FOREVER by the white powder they coat the gum with.

I frequently play the mammal card, mon. They try to net me and I say ” Hey mon, I’m not a fish, I’m a mammal. And I have an oosik, too.” If the mammal card doesn’t play, the oosik card always takes the trick, mon.

Instead you got some even less flavorful white disc. WTF? I used to feed them to the dog.

Sounds like a waste of blotter to me.

Noodling.

I have oosik envy.

*drills hole in head and pours in hydrofluoric acid*

STOP!!!

Cure for oosik envy.
Also known as the “baubellum”, apparently.

In addition and also, female pinnipeds have bicornuate uteri, like DKW’s mum pandas.

The Doughy Pantload was born in 1969. He was too young for Beirut and Grenada, but not the liberation of Panama. Or Haiti for the eighth time. Or Somalia. Or Bosnia. Or Kuwait, or Iraq. In fact, he may have only just passed the age at which the U.S. Army takes recruits.

I feel a duty to point out that he could have enlisted at any point in there, if he cared so much about the Empire.

Can’t we just send ‘im to boot camp anyway and have R. Lee Ermey scream in his face and make him run every morning? Please? Can’t we plant a doughnut in his footlocker?

D-KW’s mamacita?

42 is the cut-off for enlisting, I think. Jonah can still go.

There once were two Carribbean She-walruses,
Who each swam around with stereo uteruses,
They dated Australian twins,
Whose oosiks were full of wins,
And gave birth to quatrain of Bruceses.

42 is the cut-off for enlisting, I think. Jonah can still go.

I can’t believe you people have forgotten about the all-important War Of Ideas At Home™.

”

42 is the cut-off for enlisting, I think. Jonah can still go.”

I’m sure he’ll rush right to sign up. Give him a few minutes to pull up his pants and wipe the Oreo crumbs off his shirt.

Give him a few minutes to pull up his pants and wipe the Oreo crumbs off his shirt.

Can’t enlist now, on a deadline! Maybe a reader would be so kind as to enlist for him.

Jonah missed his real chance; he should’ve enlisted in the ’80s to give Private Pyle someone to feel superior to.

Kid, Gomer Pyle predated* the 80’s by a large fraction of your age. Please stop making us old fucks feel so fucking old.

N.B.: this is not meant to discourage you from saying things that reinforce our sense of superiority through your youthful naïveté and general lack of knowledge

* in a different way than that of the previous, recent usage in this space.

I was gonna say something then wondered if there had been some unfortunate 80’s remake…

Private Pyle from Full Metal Jacket?

Also, new thread citing!

And when journalists — even opinion journalists like me — get seduced into that mindset, you get things like JournoList and much, much worse.

It takes a special kind of asshole to simultaneously flog the mouldering corpse of a wingnut nontroversy and stake a claim to the moral high ground.

“NOODLING”

I had a friend swear off noodling after he grabbed a beaver.

It takes a special kind of asshole to simultaneously flog the mouldering corpse of a wingnut nontroversy and stake a claim to the moral high ground.

“Special Asshole 2nd Class Jonah Goldberg reporting for duty with the Screen Beret Action Figure Justice League, SIR!“

And when journalists — even opinion journalists like me — get seduced into that mindset,

Writing for the National Review, a propagandist warns of the group-think and loss of integrity that can result when opinion journalists share their opinions and coordinate their intentions privately.

I wish he’d said “opinion journalists like I”, cause that’s how smart he really is.

Jonah: seduced. Huh.

BTW I’m trying out different offensive nom de’ computers for Megan ArgleBargle, who is trashing a woman thousands of times better than she. Princess PoopyPanties. or SnippyPanties. The idea is she’s LoadPant’s sister-in-spirit-and-intellect.

Orcinus Photoshopped Doughboy to look like the Red Queen. Maybe someone can make him a Voltron or a Megaman next.

“Loadberg” is fucking perfect.

9/10s of the dump he is comprised of is subsurface, and as yet unviewable.

I collected both race cards and Holocaust cards as a kid but sadly I can’t play them today because my mom threw them away along with the Buster von Braun shoe boxes I kept them in. Still can’t believe she did that.

Marry me.

I was raised by telerbizzion in the late 60’s and the 70’s, and Gomer Pyle, USMC, was already an afternoon rerun! (A spinoff from Mayberry/Andy Griffith, too.)

Shit, now that you mention it, there hasn’t been a remake. Why not? Every OTHER fucking thing has been remade, even The A Team, with Liam Neeson.

42 is the cut-off for enlisting, I think. Jonah can still go.

He already answered this in a video interview back around 2004 – his reason being that Mommy’s delicious money won’t spend itself, you know he has a wife & baby to support & he just can’t swing it on a private’s pay.

Dying in imperial wars is really only an option for the independently wealthy.

The idea is she’s LoadPant’s sister-in-spirit-and-intellect.

The Ditzy Pantload? Pantloadette?

Oh, or Load and Loadette, for any Nintendo people in the audience.

Always. Trust. The. Shorter.™

Alternative shorter:

I’m not going to respond to thoughtless ad hominem. And the people who have thoughts are idiots.

I had a friend swear off noodling after he grabbed a beaver.

They have sharp teeth.

Yeah, it was meant to be a “Full Metal Jacket” reference. Which still was only made, not set in the ’80s. And now there’s a new thread, so no one will ever know I’m vaguely more aware of pop culture history than I initially appeared. Waaaaaah.

Marry me.

Shucks. That’s a mighty generous offer but I’m not so good at long term relationships. How about I just show you my tits instead?

I had a friend swear off noodling after he grabbed a beaver.

They have sharp teeth.

Depends on how much wood they’ve been gnawing.

Depends on how much wood they’ve been gnawing.

The more wood they get, the duller they get?

That explains my social life.

That Jonathan, he’s all man to face nasty emails.

Sometimes, he even looks at them himself. He’s a busy guy, you know. He’s writing a new book that exposes the fact that the Left is the real pro-war party and it was the Left that was behind all the political assassinations by the CIA in South America. Nixon was a liberal, too.