Surprising that they haven’t called Superman an illegal immigrant. We know he didn’t get here with a visa, so how did he get that reporting job!

Alternate shorter John Stossel: The poor should be forced to sell their organs on the open market, where only rich people can afford to buy them, because rich people are better.

Or: Under the current system, people die waiting for a kidney, and in my capitalist utopia we could make sure none of them are rich white guys like me.

Or how about: There’s no way I can make a living with my new Kidney Theif business if there’s no market for me to work.

P.S. — Fuck, I really, really hate this fuckhead asshat cockmeat dickwad.

WFB:

If Ned Lamont succeeds in discharging Joe Lieberman as an unacceptable Democrat, voters by the millions will think of themselves as disfranchised.

Disfranchised? Because a Senator from another state lost a primary? That sounds a tad narcissitic. Are we going to be in for another round of solemn proclamations of “I didn’t leave the party; the party left me.”

Lieberman didn’t exactly set the world on fire in the 2004 primaries; why is he all of the sudden the standard bearer for lazy pundits to gauge if the party is being run by a bunch of lunatics?

Left-wingers who don’t read the entire articles shortened here are chickenhawks not willing to head into the danger dealt with by our fine boys like Captain Travis. Snort.

I am perfectly happy to let Travis fight them over there, so we don’t have to read them over here.

Kathleen, you rock.

You know, Stossel’s getting worse. It’s a measurable progression. This time last year he was arguing that rich people are more deserving of necessary-for-life substances like water. This year, he’s moved on to arguing that rich people are more deserving of actual organs. Next year, I expect to see him explaining that rich people deserve atoms more.

Left-wingers who don’t read the entire articles shortened here are chickenhawks not willing to head into the danger dealt with by our fine boys like Captain Travis. Snort.

Oh yeah. Flypaper. Before I found S,N, it was WoC. But either way, I ain’t going over there. I dunno, maybe I’m fragile. Cap’n Travis is my Marlow in the Congo Free State of Right Blogistan. I’m sure he’s taking deep emotional and psychic damage by repeatedly visiting the heart of darkness, and I want him, and you all, to know I appreciate his adventures. But I ain’t going over there. Oh no. I’ll stay over here where Black is Black and Up is Up and I don’t have to risk my sanity OR my blood pressure in a futile attempt to ask the simple question “Who are these fucking 30% of the population that actually APPROVE of the job these thugs are doing”?

Sadly, No. We visit townhall so you don’t have to.

And, gentlemen, we appreciate your courage, your work, and your sacrifice…

mikey

The fact of the matter is that Ned Lamont represents the extreme left and he would be a certain loser against an independent Joe Lieberman in the general election.

The fact that the far left wants to fight for a Senate seat in Connecticut over seats in Montana, Missouri, Pennsylvania, Ohio, and Virginia is fine by me. Because the Democrats will lose Senate seats in November.

I’m pretty confident in Katherine Harris’ ability to expose Bill Nelson’s liberalism. I’m pretty confident in the ability of Mark Kennedy to connect his mainstream conservative values to Minnesota. I’m confident of Mike McGavick’s ability to expose Cantwell as being a tax and spend liberal.

Joe Lieberman is a person respected by millions of Independent voters, which is why Al Gore finished better with Independents and Moderates than John Kerry. Joe Lieberman was also the man who is the reason for the close election in Florida.

Wild-Eyed Liberals like Ned Lamont and DailyKos have no solutions to their so-called problems. They only whine constantly.

In the scheme of things, America would be better off if the liberals got counseling to help them defeat their insane hatred of President Bush.

The fact is that I’m feeling the Joementum.

Wait, the Reoublicans are going to put up a candidate in CT?! God, I’m so confused…

Right now in Connecticut, the partisan split is 37D, 30R, 33I

Now, if it’s a three-way election, then I can make these early estimates by party

Democrats: 48% Lamont, 46% Lieberman, 6% Republican
Republican: 69% Republican, 25% Lieberman, 6% Lamont
Independent: 49% Lieberman, 30% Lamont, 21% Republican

Lieberman would win with 41%, The Republican finishes with 30%,and Lamont finishes third with 29%

But, it would be smarter for the Republicans to endorse Lieberman, and that would change the dynamic in the following way.

Democrats: 52-48 Lamont
Republicans: 90-10 Lieberman
Independents: 66-34 Lieberman

The total would be 67-33 for Lieberman.

Gary. *Sigh*. You are a GOOD troll, and we are damn lucky to have you. So I’m not going to call you any names. I mean, compared to goldsteins minions, you are pure unbridled joy in a bottle. But dood, c’mon. There’s a few things you simply CAN NOT believe. First, that in the current political environment, that Dems will lose Senate seats in November. Now, you could say “Dems will gain seats but will not take a majority in the senate” and you’d sound like an informed, intelligent right-winger. But Gary, that other thing is just silly. The administration, and the repubs, are in the tank, popularity-wise. And this is the MTV generation.

And the hatred of bush is NOT insane. He worked hard to earn it. From the stolen election in 2000 to the unnecessary, illegal war of aggression against the iraqi people, to the legislation written by corporate lobbyists (medicare drugs, energy, bankruptcy), bush has earned our eternal enmity. Surely, even if you don’t buy it, you can understand it. Surely you can see what we’re angry about, right? I’m wondering just what exactly you are? You’re not a conservative–they abandoned bush last year. Your CAN’T be a libertarian. Gary–come out from behind the fax machine and answer one question: Why do you continue to support this guy? He’s wrecking your life, your freedom, your future, your children’s future, and any hope of anybody in the working class, the middle class, or farmers to hand their children a better life than they had. What is it that keeps you from abandoning him?

mikey

Shorter Gary Ruppert: I’ve laid off huffing the gas from cans of Cool Whip long enough to masquerade as a Concern Troll rather than my usual batshit insane Cheetos eater personae who has the reading comprehension of a tse-tse fly.

The New York Times is bigoted against the non-gay majority, because they don’t invite an anti-gay perspective when they sponsor panel discussions on homosexuality

As a polesmoker, my number one “What liberal media” thing is a variant on what you’re mocking. I’ve seen articles on Teh Geighs such as “Gays and their cars” or “Gays and their remodeling projects” where respected *cough* liberal *cough* papers like the LAT, NYT and WaPo feel they have to, almost as if it were in their style books, have some asshat like Bozo or Gary Bauer or someone like that get a graph about how “Homosexuals being able to buy a car without facing total homophobia from the sales people is a perfect example of why this country is going to Hell in a handbasket”.

Strangely, in two recent LAT articles — one on some alleged new Scripture being found in a cave somewhere and a truly frightening one about people who are actively trying to hasten Armageddon by dying cows red, among other totally batshit insane things — there was not one syllable from an atheist or non-believer saying “Um, these people are deranged.

Aren’t those moments when Ruppert gets out his calculator the best?

voters by the millions will think of themselves as disfranchised.

Yes, because it’s not like there’s a party for people who think the war in Iraq is just swell and that rape victims should walk to the next hospital for emergency contrac–

Oh.

there was not one syllable from an atheist or non-believer saying “Um, these people are deranged.

Ah, but as Jodi Wilgoren said of her piece about the young-earth Grand Canyon guide, you’re meant to understand that. It’s implied by all the stuff which takes such beliefs as completely rational aside from what all those scientists say.

There’s a few things you simply CAN NOT believe. First, that in the current political environment, that Dems will lose Senate seats in November.

I can’t see Santorum losing. The Santorum/Casey election will come down to economic issues, where Santorum’s fiscal responsibility will top Casey’s tax and spend philosophy.

The administration, and the repubs, are in the tank, popularity-wise.

Actually, approval ratings for Congressional Republicans exceed approval ratings for Congressional Democrats.

As for Bush, his approval rating is at 44%, which is up 6 points in just the last week.

And the hatred of bush is NOT insane. He worked hard to earn it. From the stolen election in 2000

Bush won legitimately, despite efforts by Al Gore to steal the election.

to the unnecessary, illegal war of aggression against the iraqi people

If it’s a war of agression, tell me why the Iraqis are running their own affairs. If this is a war of agression by us, tell me what you think of Saddam trying to shoot down American planes and having WMDs?

to the legislation written by corporate lobbyists (medicare drugs, energy, bankruptcy)

Those bills contained many important reforms and were worked on by many skilled people. They haven’t been a liability for Bush, and they won’t be in 2006.

Surely you can see what we’re angry about, right?

Sure, your friend Saddam is gone because of Bush. As well, you hate it when Bush is right.

You’re not a conservative–they abandoned bush last year.

Who is this “They”?

Conservatives are behind Bush in strong numbers.

Your CAN’T be a libertarian.

Yeah, because I support life and I supported the liberation of Iraq.

Why do you continue to support this guy?

Because he’s the second best President of the last 100 years, and definately in the top five presidents of all time

Gary! Wow! It’s like the Homecoming Dance!
Hey, someone point out that Bush will be out of office in, what little under three years? Wonder who they’re going to decide the “LIberals don’t support this war cause they just hate …” next? Hmmm…. It’ll have to be some one who’s supported it all along…. who’s a totally lacky… who hates the constituents…
OH. MY. GOD. Lieberman’s gunna be the Rep canidate for 08! It makes perfect sense!

his answers make less sense than his orognal statements
he’s like a heterosexual ken mehlman

Man. I wish i could make up my own facts as well as you can, Gary. *sighs longingly* Must be nice.
Hehe, “tax and spend philosophy.” Unlike the Repubs, who believe in the “don’t tax but spend anyways, cause it’ll be someone ELSE’s problem then” philosophy.
“Nuh-uh, bush didn’t steal it, YOU did! neener-neener!”
If it’s not war of agtgression why the penciled in March 10th sstart date, and the plans to provoke Saddam intot starting the war?
Yeah, I’m pissed that Saddam is gone, too. That guy fucking kicked ASS in Halo.
And, believe me, i don’t hate it when Bush is right any where NEAR as much as I hate it when he’s wrong. He’s wrong alot.
Incidently, who’s your first best? Nixon? Ford? …Hoover? Hmmm. can’t be FDR, he’s a Democratic pig-dog, never did anything for this country…
OH! TAFT! Duh! man, that guy RAWK3D!

Somebody around here, who isn’t as lazy as I am, should fire up Excel and we could make a spreadsheet of all of Gary’s predictions and track how long it takes them not to come true.

And then someone, who is more creative than I am, should start some kind of betting pool based on Gary’s failed predictions.

Or maybe it should be a drinking game. Or maybe I should just keep drinking.

I think it’s cute how Ruppert thinks Ms. Perky Breasts will beat Ben Nelson. Not one Republican has talked her up. There’s a sign of a true believer, indeedy.

I’m pretty confident in Katherine Harris’ ability to expose Bill Nelson’s liberalism.

The fact is that the wholehearted support the GOP has given to her campaign convinces me she’s destined to win.

Harris did so much for Dubya in 2000, it would be a crime for him not to support her.

HAH!! HAH HAh Hah!! *Snort* Schnerkle Har Hah Har Hee Hee Heeee!!

PHEW!! [Wipes forhead with hankerchief] Damn, Gary, that’s some good shit. You are truly Teh Funny!! Thanks, mann….

mikey

I love Rich Galen: “did you know the French have a different word for everything? Just take a look at their national anthem!”

“did you know the French have a different word for everything? Just take a look at their national anthem!�

“I know the French don’t have a word for Entrepreneur” George Bush

If Cruella DeHarris wins, I’ll be back to apologize to Gary for ever doubting him. *However,* I’m not really too worried about that possibility. The day after elections, every time Gary shows his ass around here, I’m gonna ask him, “Hey, Gary? Why did Harris looooooose?” That’ll be loads of fun, ’til ’08.

No way that’s the real Gary. Gary doesn’t respond to points like that. I mean, sure, those responses are demented fuckwit GR-like responses, but he doesn’t usually respond at all, does he?

BTW, real-or-fake-Gary, ‘the left’ is going to hand Jim Talent his ass in the Missouri Senate race. Just so you don’t feel like we’re just picking on Joe Lieberman.

BTW, another stellar Two-Minute Townhall, thank you, Travis! Glad to see Ms. Parker is back on form. Last week, I got the impression she almost said something. I’m glad ‘the guys’ smacked that out of her.

You’ll know why Superman and Lois Lane can never have a child if you read Larry Niven’s short story, “Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex.” Informative and hysterically funny!

What do you mean, Parker didn’t say anything?

Apparently Superman, like his dorky doppelganger, Clark Kent, is clueless when it comes to men and women, and failed to block certain speeding bullets from reaching their natural destination.

Like any mere condom could stop those Supersperm!

I’m pretty confident in Katherine Harris’ ability to expose Bill Nelson’s liberalism.

Dang, where’s that swirly hypno-graphic when you need it?

He ain’t got one, a liberalism that is.

e

‘the left’ is going to hand Jim Talent his ass in the Missouri Senate race

Claire McCaskill has been exposed as having very weak ethics. That, and her support of abortion, gay marriage, and gun confiscation will doom her in the election.

These last Gary posts couldn’t possibly have been written by the “real” Gary. The “real” Gary never responds to anyone’s subsequent posts (I doubt he even reads them, for that matter).

Claire McCaskill has been exposed as having very weak ethics. That, and her support of abortion, gay marriage, and gun confiscation will doom her in the election.

Also, the fact is that I’m incredibly drunk and pumped up on Sabbath right now.

Snort. Thanks for the short’n’sweet. Although, one tiny error:

Shorter Michelle Malkin:

Yes, that’s better.

Screaming through the starlit sky
Travelling by telephone
Hey ho, here we go
Ever so high

If only, BEG.
If only…

Yay the shorters came in. I wait all day for them and go to Townhall just to see how Travis does it. It’s an art form we all should learn. I wanna try one!

Ruppert:

Those bills (medicare drugs, energy, bankruptcy…)contained many important reforms and were worked on by many skilled people. They haven’t been a liability for Bush, and they won’t be in 2006.

Shorter: Most of their victims are dead.

Alternate Shorter Michelle Malkin: “I don’t know the first thing about Mexican culture but it still scares the piss out of me.”

Michelle’s column needs a serious frisking. Now, I am a fairly ignorant person; I’ve never heard of any of the organizations or people Michelle mentions, and I’m far too lazy to look them all up.

So how do I know her column is idiotic? Simple: Every statement she makes about Mexican history or culture is astoundingly ignorant.

See, I don’t know much about most things, but I do dabble in Aztec/Mesoamerican history, so I noticed quite a bit of stupidity. Come with me as we explore it, together.

“Among The Race’s most infamous government-funded charter schools is La Academia Semillas del Pueblo, the Los Angeles public school that teaches “Aztec math” (ancient dot math is the new math) and the Mexican indigenous language of “Nahuatl.” The ethnic separatist principal of the school, Marcos Aguilar, told a sympathetic UCLA interviewer:â€?

Okay, why the scare quotes around “Nahuatl�? It’s a real language, spoken by nearly 1.5 million people, which makes it one of, if not the most widely spoken indigenous language in North America.

Now, I realize that it isn’t really a language from what is now the USA, but it is pre-Columbian, and, again, is incredibly widely spoken. It seems to me that learning an indigenous language would be a great way for the children of Spanish immigrants to assimilate into North America. I mean, don’t Michelle and her ilk think learning the local language is one of the most important things an immigrant can do?

Okay the math thing bothers me too. I’ll admit that the Aztec system of mathematical notation wasn’t particularly advanced, but I imagine that learning Aztec math is just a fun activity to learn about the culture, like when I learned about Roman numerals in grade school. In fact, the Aztec notation is so simple (A dot means one, two dots means two, three dots means three, etc. Plus a feather means 20 and a bag means 8,000. There, you’ve just learned Aztec math) that I can’t imagine it taking more then a couple of hours to teach.

More then that, as a base-20 system, it offers an introduction to the fairly useful mathematical concept of bases, which is more then you can say for Roman numerals.

Besides all that, “ancient dot math� in Mesoamerica actually became quite advanced; As early as 40 BC, the Olmec invented the concept of zero as a discrete numeral, a concept that basically makes all of modern math possible, and yet only arose twice in all of human history.

In other words, one of those dot mathematicians was one of the greatest mathematicians in the history of the world. Call me crazy, but that sounds like somebody worth studying.

“– Aztlan Academy in Tucson, Ariz. According to The Race, the school’s success rests on “Aztlan’s ability to integrate a meaningful Chicano Studies program into their lives, language, and academics, as a means of developing their intellects as well as their pride and self-esteem.” The school’s name — a reference to a mythical swath of the vast Southwestern U.S. expanse, which Latino activists claim is their rightful homeland and which they seek to reconquer for Mexico — says it all.â€?

Sigh, no, Michelle, wrong, wrong, wrong.

First of all, Aztlan as a mythical concept refers not to the entirety of the American southwest, but to a small Island located there, or possibly around Baja California somewhere. The idea that it refers to the southwestern USA significantly post-dates the Aztec Empire.

Second, archeology does, in fact, indicate that the Aztecs were one of several groups who migrated to central Mexico from somewhere up north roughly around the 12th century. Aztlan is, in all likelihood, an entirely real place that did serve as the homeland of the Ancestors of many modern Latinos.

Third, there’s, like, one group with about five members that actually wants to use violence to reconquer Aztlan. Everybody else wants to do it by becoming legal citizens of Aztlan and then voting for laws that will help Latinos. It’s kind of hard for me to see voting and citizenship as threats to the Republic.

“– Mexicayotl Academy in Nogales, Ariz. Who needs the three R’s? At Mexicayotl, it’s all about the three M’s: me, me, me! The school’s program is “structured and developed around the concepts of identity, culture, and language.” Second mission: supporting local ethnic lobbying efforts “to right social injustices by educating the community and helping create social change.” Under “greatest achievements,” the school’s website lists its participation in a “Peace & Dignity Run”; its visit from Rigoberta Menchu (the Marxist academic fraud from Guatemala who lied her way to a Nobel Peace Prize); and its sponsorship of the local annual Dia de los Muertos (the Mexican holiday).â€?

Um, technically, aren’t both reading and writing included under the heading “language�?

Also, they celebrate a holiday?! Holy shit, you know how much damage Flag Day does every year. Holidays are the devil, the devil I say! Anybody who celebrates one should be shot.

“– The Dolores Huerta Preparatory High School in Pueblo, Colo. It’s named after the far-Left Latina labor union activist who recently railed that “Republicans hate Latinos,” praised illegal alien marchers and screeched that “We didn’t cross the borders, the borders crossed us” in a hate-filled tirade before Arizona students.â€?

Now, some of you might argue that a statement like “We didn’t cross the borders, the borders crossed us� is factually correct, and for Chicanos (And anybody else of Native American descent) true on at least two different levels. But Michelle knows that just because something is completely true doesn’t mean it’s not hateful.

Some of you might also argue that the statement “We didn’t cross the borders, the borders crossed us� isn’t hateful because it doesn’t actually identify an enemy nor express displeasure towards them, except in the most oblique possible way. But Michelle knows… actually I’m not sure how she’d counter that one.

“Unless, of course, you’re using Aztec math.â€?

You mean the math that kept a city of 200,000 and an empire of millions running smoothly and efficiently? That math? Because that math sounds like it would work pretty well, to me.

And I know all this just off the top of my head, from reading Soustelle’s Daily Life of the Aztecs and skimming some books I got from the library. Think how much more you could debunk if you were actually well read!

Christopher,

Thanks for the primer on Aztec/pre-Columbian culture. Very nice.

One minor correction: The word you’re after is “fisking” (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fisking), not “frisking”.

Some could argue that Michelle also needs a serious frisking, but that could be taken as a sexual slur, and we would have to condemn anyone who said that.

I demand flawedplan’s shorter be bumped to the front page!Or whatever that weird KOS Diary thing is they do. (Obviously, I don’t read it.)

WTF’s up with Stossel? It’s Al Gore’s fault that “market forces” are not allowed to create a permanent class of poor spare-parts growers for the rich to exploit? If he’s referring to the outlawing of procuring organs for money (or other “valuable consideration”), don’t blame Gore. The bill was, as far as I can figure, the National Organ Transplant Act, enacted in 1984. True, Gore was on a conference committee that dealt with the act, but it was introduced by Orin Hatch and had such anti-market communist co-sponsors as Don Nickles, Chuck Grassley, Dan Quayle and Strom Thurman (who no doubt was probably against outlawing the sale of organs considering his likely need for some at the time).

I suppose if Gore voted for it, Stossel considers it legit to hang the whole thing on Gore’s neck. Putz.

excellent comment Christopher. I loved that Aztec book.

I told you that wasn’t the real Gary 😉

Fuck Stossel. Having worked for a hospital matching donors/recipients, the organ procurement process is designed to treat the most medically needy first. It does not (or shouldn’t) rank recipients based on socio-economic standing. Nor should it encourage people to donate organs/tissues for economic survival as that is a serious medical decision (i.e. kidney). I knew of one hospital staffer that donated a kidney to her mom, but it was a decision that was made because she cared deeply for her mom and knew her dire situation. Harvesting organs by exploiting the poor and ignorant to help those who have the money to pay for them is as sick and twisted a morality as I can think of. For the love of money is the root of all goodness, at least in Stosselfucker world.

I understand you’re trying to be a faithful little Bushbot, Gare-Bear, but you might want to reconsider the Katherine Harris thing. I understand that her top staff have all resigned again; you may recall the last batch bailed a few months ago. She is about 30 points behind Nelson in the polls.

I don’t expect Dear Leader to be jumping to her defense any time soon (even Jeb says she isn’t electable). Yes, the guy appears to value loyalty, but in others, not himself. His real loyalty is to the two Republican deities: Money and Power.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Xipe_Totec

In Aztec mythology, Xipe Totec (“our lord the flayed one”) was a life-death-rebirth deity, god of agriculture, the west, disease, spring, goldsmiths and the seasons…..Annually, slaves were selected as sacrifices to Xipe Totec. These slaves were carefully flayed to produce a nearly whole skin which was then worn by the priests during the fertility rituals that followed the sacrifice. Some accounts indicate that a thigh bone from the sacrifice was defleshed and used by the priest to touch spectators in a fertility blessing. Paintings and several clay figures have been found which illustrate the flaying method and the appearance of priests wearing flayed skins.

My God. The sights one must have seen in the Aztec capital. Their tapestries made from bird-feathers (tweesed into the individual fibers) were reportedly awesomely beautiful, and the floating flower gardens were supposedly quite impressive too. On the other hand you had guys dancing around in skins, and the inner chamber at the main Temple to Huitzilipotchli was apparently had a layer of semi-congelead blood more than an inch think on floor.

Oh, I have to *thank* ol’ Brenty Bozelle for reminding me that the Gay Games start this weekend here in the Windy City, ‘cos I had totally forgotten! Um, not that I’m intending to attend any events, mind you–me no likee sp0rtz. But, OTOH, I think athletic men are yummy, so I may well take a troll through teh barz this weekend to see if any muscular strangers (well, moreso than usual) have put in an appearance. Thanx, Brent! I’ll have you in mind while I’m kneeling before them. Or not.

I’d forgotten about “Travis G”.