Stay classy!
Posted on July 8th, 2010 by
Now that the whole country* is sad over the German team’s 1-0 loss to Spain last night, some journalists have decided to crank up the inappropriate comparisons machine. To wit (our translation):
Just as the love between Teresa and Robert Enke didn’t have a happy end, the same now unfortunately holds true for the party people and this promising team.
Who was Robert Enke?
At the time of his death, he was widely considered to be a leading contender for the German number one spot at the 2010 World Cup.
On 10 November 2009, Enke committed suicide.
* Sadly, No! is headquartered in Germany.
What, so this makes the Spanish midfield defense the soccer equivalent of depression.
I am English. I was supporting Spain. I cheered when the final whistle went. But even I didn’t compare losing a world cup semi-final to a man hurling himself in front of a train.
Suicide? OR a victim of Barack Obama’s secret ACORN assassin squad? Police claim to have found a suicide note, but it’s probably mysteriously disappeared with all his files and comptrollers.
But SRSLY, Enke was a goalkeeper – how important a spot is that? It’s not like Spain has a magnificent goalkeeper who captains the team and now has three shutout 1-0 elimination wins in a row.
The party people?
The party people?
The agony is delicious!
“Party People.”
Hey, sometimes you win, sometimes you blow your head off. And if that happens, you just gotta pick your skull pieces up off the floor and get back on the horse and keep on going. Sure, death is a big hurdle to have to jump, but people have faced and conquered harder challenges.
The question is: Are they going to saute Paul?
~
Are they going to saute Paul?
If they do, it could lead to an International Incident.
I like this comment, J—
It should be noted that because of the time of day I did not see all of either semi-final match. But then, I’m a social scientist, so I never let a lack of evidence get in the way of a good argument.
~
El pulpo Paul has not shown his ability to call games in which the Chermans are not involved. Clearly though he will continue to shill for España to escape being served ‘en su tinta’.
It should be noted that…
That’s a good one. I’ve been enjoying reading the comments at the Times’ Goal blog.
Did you see Michael from LA in the same thread?
Jeez. Germans are such drama queens.
I remember when that happened. Jesus fucking Christ.
Did you see Michael from LA in the same thread?
I Shirley did!
~
ZOMG RACHEL MADDOW’S YEARBOOK PICTURE.
I love her even more now.
Back in the days of the Big Red Machene guys like me and Tony Perez and Johnny Bench and me knew how to commit suicide. One time Tony Perez committed suicide on himself five times in a four game series against the Mets and each time he did it with grit and consitecy. Back then we used to play four game serieses to which you don’t see teams do now eitehr. Any way I haven’t had a chance to see all Germans suicide themselves yet so I can’t comment on this guys suicide but I do know you’ll never see a team like we had again.
ZOMG RACHEL MADDOW’S YEARBOOK PICTURE.
Wait. So conventionally attractive blondes have the potential to one day become righteously witty and intelligent fountains of scathing snark? Does this mean that it’s okay to feel attracted to Megyn Kelly?
Is this an inappropriate forum to propose to Ed?
Does this mean that it’s okay to feel attracted to Megyn Kelly?
No. You should be ashamed of yourself.
No. You should be ashamed of yourself.
Relax, there’s only one FOX News anchor for me. I was asking in general terms.
BTW, since we’re ogling, and staying classy – re: Spain vs. Germany soccer goalkeepers, Germany still loses to Spain.
Of perfect pork.
Well, there’s a big difference between “being employed by” and “working for”, and it isn’t a stretch to say that Ezra Klein has been working his rosy red lips off for our increasingly socialist government.
I was twelve years old when we moved away from Massachusetts, and about fifteen when Mary Jo Kopechne died and Teddy dissembled and lied to everyone’s face, and sixteen years old when the cowardly, dishonest prick was re-elected to the U.S. Senate. That threw up a red flag for me that never came down.
OFFS.
DKW–At least Patti Ann Browne is a redhead. I can forgive you for that.
And that is an ice cold burn, but damn, that lady is hot.
I thought this would be a nice thread about Deutsche futbol, perhaps the WC itself, and lament the loss of Robert Enke and the attendant speculation as to his impact might have had in the series- but, no- some schmuck had to pull his pork yet again.
some schmuck had to pull his pork yet again.
Yeesh, that’s definitely a step down from smoking beef.
Badger badger badger
You know who else from Germany commuted suicide??? Of course he was not a good footballer
The best way to cook pork shoulder is on a charcoal grill. You should first marinate the pork shoulder in a softening compound, perhaps a good carnauba wax combined with an apple-cinnamon-bleach mixture. After several years of soaking, the shoulder should be ready to be poured into a bucket which can be placed upon the grill. Any maggots present should be picked out and saved on the side for the latter sauce.
The grill should be fired up using iron briquettes and a welding torch. Once the iron briquettes have achieved a good and solid internal temperature of about 1300 degrees F, it is now time to leave the pork shoulder on a shelf somewhere and visit a park for several hours. After returning, it is imperative that you immediately fail to recognize the pork shoulder and wander about the house trying to recall what it is you were going to do.
Once the pan is hot on the stove, add the pork shoulder a microgram at a time, or one ladle-full, whichever is easier. Keep the heat high so that the liquids entirely boil off leaving a burnt crust on the bottom.
Add several bottles of Robitussin D to deglaze the pan, and if that is not available then Lego sets may be used. Once the burnt crust is coated in Robitussin or Legos, allow this to cook down to a thin, dangerous appearing layer. Turn off heat.
Set the pan aside and allow to cool for several years. While the pan is cooling, you should learn a combination of Chinese and Arabic which will be useful on several new trade routes. Once a successful career is gained in this as-yet-unknown new field, return to the cooled pan and invite it and several friends to an album review party for a high resolution recording of classical guitar as played by a society of deaf castanet players.
Serves 4.
Hahahahahahahahahahaahah
Heh. Pork. Heh heh.
All donut shops must be nationalized as a public resource and utility, since the output of this industry is too precious to be left to the vagaries of an inefficient market-based system. All Power to the Crullers!
All donut shops must be nationalized as a public resource and utility, since the output of this industry is too precious to be left to the vagaries of an inefficient market-based system. All Power to the Crullers!
Sugar-coated fried lard is quite energy dense. Who needs tar sands?
There are important reserves of fat inside the heads of Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh. Drill baby drill!!!!
OT (ahhahahahaha…snort):
Since it’s a record-breaking 97 degrees here in Seattle and triple-digits all around the country, I wonder where all those happy bullshitters are who were proclaiming AGW a laughable farce because it snowed in the northeast.
Guys? Guys? If weather == climate, then hot weather == OMG WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE, right?
then hot weather == OMG WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE, right?
Fortunately, as Mr. Serling taught us, when the fever breaks we’ll wake up and find that the earth is actually freezing to death.
I wish I knew who controls the horizontal…who controls the vertical.
People aren’t equal.
And that should tell you all you need to know about American conservatism.
Additionally,
Hah! The sun didn’t even come out in L. A. today. You people are not living right.
The sun didn’t even come out in L. A. today.
Global worming is a lie!
Exactly Whale Chowder,the snowstorms last year that proved global cooling and the heatwaves this summer that also disprove global warming have NOTHING TO DO WITH EACH OTHER! There is no such thing as long term statistics you silly liberal.
Soccer at the level most of us experience it
is a game for the children of NPR watching/listening snobs and castrati. The pressure from the parents is constant; so and so is too rough, you shouldn’t run up the score, you shouldn’t keep score at all. It is a game promoted by liberal elitists and forced on us through the liberal elitists who run schools and Parks and Recreation Departments. Try fighting with the lesbians who run most P&R Departments for field time for youth baseball or football when they want it for their beloved soccer.
The only thing it is useful for is for kids not skilled enough to play competitive football, basketball, or baseball; it doesn’t take any skill to have a herd of kids mindlessly kicking a ball around, but it does get them out of the house and away from the video games.
I know there is a highly skilled and competitive level of soccer that has rabid fans all over the World, but in the US, it is merely a liberal affectation; the sport that isn’t American so it must be good.
In Vino Veritas
I know of one german who decamped to brazil and taught them all to play good football.
Parks & Rec: firmly in the control of liberal lesbian elitists.
And the NPR-watching(?) castrati snobs, looking down their noses at Art.
How can he stand himself? He lets castrati look down their noses at him? Not much of a man, is he?
In vino I forget my failures & inadequacies. Until I wake up & am still myself.
DYKES DYKES DYKES EWWWWWW ICK
In Vino Vaginas
whole blog has gone gay. awesome. got a blowjob from my pot dealer last night.
oh, woops. the fact is.
Sporting is a finite commodity. Were any of our 300 million people to divert too much attention for the inappropriately ethnic soccer, crucial attention would be diverted from the football, baseball, and basketball leagues, and at this point we as a nation could survive no more.
I don’t include NASCAR because it isn’t a sport. I’ll think about it if they ever get beyond big block overhead valves.
no. seriously. my pot dealer has GOT to be the best.
“Enke committed suicide”
For those here who think that’s funny: I know some hardcore Hannover 96 fans who would love to visit you. Pls post your address!
no one thinks it’s funny. my IP will show i’m not the real gary.
“Add several bottles of Robitussin D to deglaze the pan, and if that is not available then Lego sets may be used. Once the burnt crust is coated in Robitussin or Legos, allow this to cook down to a thin, dangerous appearing layer. Turn off heat.”
Lulz. Disgusting and hilarious.
Gary, the fact is your obsession with the ghey proves you ARE the real Gary.
I live at Pamma-Lamma=Ding-Dong’s house.
~
Add several bottles of Robitussin D
There’s the good cough medicine for guests and then there’s the cooking cough medicine. That doesn’t make me elitist.
How LeBron’s Move Helps the Tea Party.
I wish I were making that up.
From T&U’s linky:
“Cleveland a recognizable sports mecca”? Sadly, no.
I didn’t watch the hoopla, did Lebron dick-slap Cleveland on national TV?
Cleveland will always have Burning River Pale Ale.
Long live the Cuyahoga!
~
How LeBron’s Move Helps the Tea Party.
They’re selling his POOP?
This thread needs more vuvuzela.
The vuvuzela is the BLART of liberal fascism.
the fact is, vacuumslayer is wrong. the real gary is a ghey-hating bastard. i am gay. and don’t hate myself.
The fact is, I believe ya…but it’s hard not to tease Gary, fake or no.
Fuckin’ hamsters, how do they work?
Fuckin’ hamsters, how do they work?
(1) Goatse
(2) Hamster
(3) Profit!
Soccer at the level most of us experience it
is a game for the children of NPR watching/listening snobs and castrati.
Or, more likely, for inner city kids of an ethnic background considered inappropriate by the good suburban white conservative community.
But sure. Inner city kids are the real elitists.
ZOMG RACHEL MADDOW’S YEARBOOK PICTURE.
Wow, barely recognizable. I wonder if she knew then…
Anyway, have you all seen her in Afghanistan? It was SO FUCKING WEIRD. She was asking, like, you know, questions. Not questions like “How do you beat this oppressive heat?”, but real questions about the present state of things and where things are going from here. She asked about the sustainability of the current government when NATO leaves, all TOUGH questions. She interviewed citizens and asked them directly: “Do you like us being here?”.
I was stunned. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen a journalist actually DO his/her job and make the reader/viewer face fucking REALITY instead of just cheerleading for the troops.
Rachel Maddow is, by a long stretch, the best at what she does. I’ll fight anyone who says otherwise.
(1) Goatse
(2) Hamster
(3) Profit!
It really is too early for that kind of nastiness.
I’m reporting from the Munchen train station, where literally ones of people are lined up to throw themselves in front of an oncoming freight train…
It really is too early for that kind of nastiness.
I beg to differ, madam!
That’s cold, man, cold.
I was born in Akron, as was Mr. James- he has realized, as I did long ago- that Akron was a great place to be from. Far from.
Also, as a side note, the public schools in Akron didn’t (perhaps still don’t) offer American football at the middle school level, it was offered in high school. Soccer, that’s what got played by the youths of my generation, in Akron, OH, USA.
Funny as hell, though.
The vuvuzela is the BLART of liberal fascism.
As I posted at my blog today, the vuvuzela has had a fatwa issued against it.
That’s, um, not a joke, by the way.
As I posted at my blog today, the vuvuzela has had a fatwa issued against it.
I’m not generally pro-fatwa, but I think I’ll make an exception in this case.
Funny as hell, though.
I’m standing at the Cuyahoga Bridge, where literally thousands of Clevelanders have lined up awaiting to
bounce off the surface of the riverjump to their deaths this morning…..(Now, THAT’S cold!)
Anyway, have you all seen her in Afghanistan? It was SO FUCKING WEIRD. She was asking, like, you know, questions. Not questions like “How do you beat this oppressive heat?”, but real questions about the present state of things and where things are going from here. She asked about the sustainability of the current government when NATO leaves, all TOUGH questions. She interviewed citizens and asked them directly: “Do you like us being here?”.
That’s very cool. I’m surprised there are any reporters left in the mainstream media who are willing to actually do their job despite the pressure from the right wing counterparts. Kudos to her for doing it.
I was stunned. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen a journalist actually DO his/her job and make the reader/viewer face fucking REALITY instead of just cheerleading for the troops.
Sadly, the people don’t want an actual journalist, which is why Fox remains the most popular TV station.
I’m not generally pro-fatwa, but I think I’ll make an exception in this case.
It may be the fatwa that unites the major religions of the world.
Peace through horrendous noise!
Wow, barely recognizable. I wonder if she knew then…
That she was a lesbian? I’m pretty sure she did.
Soccer, that’s what got played by the youths of my generation, in Akron, OH, USA.
There’s a French school in Akron?!
(kidding, kidding)
Soccer’s not new, it just doesn’t get the visiblity – hell I played soccer as a kid, even with the onion on my belt, which was the fashion at the time…
HA! You bookmarked it, LIB! I love it. I do remember things getting pretty quiet for a few days following that election. Then Rush fixed that with the “I hope he fails” wisdom.
Soccer is unAmerican because all you need is a ball and some space…if you don’t have to buy a ton of shit to play, then it’s obviously a communist sport.
Soccer is unAmerican because all you need is a ball and some space…if you don’t have to buy a ton of shit to play, then it’s obviously a communist sport.
Think you nailed it… It’s a poor man’s sport. Ick.
So’s cornhole.
I deconstructed American football and why it might appeal to right wingers here
(scroll down to item 8)
Think you nailed it… It’s a poor man’s sport. Ick.
I think that’s also why conservatives don’t tend to watch basketball, either…it’s a sport that can be played in a small space in an urban area, and our infrastructure isn’t quite so bad yet that pretty much anyone has access to a park. For free. So all you need is a ball.
I’ll say it–Soccer is BORING. I’m a rabid NFL fan, and people who don’t like football can say what they will about it. What this means is that it’s boring to me. It’s also boring to a pretty wide section of Americans.
It always cracks me up when American football fans say soccer is boring. Jesus Christ, I’d rather watch golf than an American football game. The only advantage that American football has is that it’s an excuse to eat a lot of snacks.
The fact is*, you get invested in a sport. You learn the players, you find a team you want to win, you buy into the hype and bullshit. For me, I need to see scoring. Watching hockey and soccer just wears me out waiting for something to happen.
*Goin’ Gary….
The only advantage that American football has is that it’s an excuse to eat a lot of snacks.
Yes, but that’s the winning difference right there.
Jesus Christ, I’d rather watch golf than an American football game.
Ok. Good to know.
I’ll say it–Soccer is BORING. I’m a rabid NFL fan, and people who don’t like football can say what they will about it. What this means is that it’s boring to me. It’s also boring to a pretty wide section of Americans.
To each his own, but you think dudes running up and down a field at a quick pace with cleats and no padding for 90 minutes straight is boring, but dudes standing around with eight layers of padding for half a game that takes 4 hours to complete is interesting?
I don’t get it.
The only advantage that American football has is that it’s an excuse to eat a lot of snacks.
Yes, but that’s the winning difference right there.
You can totally partake in snacks and beer during a soccer game, too.
I’m a rabid NFL fan
You really ought to go read the link I posted and see yourself as I see you 😉
You can totally partake in snacks and beer during a soccer game, too.
Here’s why Americans hate football.
No pee breaks and we’re a nation addicted to Vesicare.
the fact is, vacuumslayer should stfu.. i am gay. the real gary is a gay-hating bastard.
I think that’s also why conservatives don’t tend to watch basketball, either
So that whole NCAA tournament, with its Midwest colleges like Indiana and Missouri and BYU is….?
Interjection of teh seriussnessez for a moment.
3 rounds of interviews. Offer coming today?
Fingers crossed!
And dang you DKW. Now I’m attracted to a Fox News bimbot.
Oh wait, is that yer mom?
American football? meh. Rest of the entire planet football? meh. There’s only one spectator sport for me.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bog_snorkelling
the fact is, vacuumslayer should stfu.. i am gay. the real gary is a gay-hating bastard.
Here’s a wild thought: if you don’t want to be picked up with a pooper scooper, don’t wear a dog-shit disguise.
Actor212, I LOL’d through most of your post. I clicked on the one that had set you off as well though and came up with this;
Proletarian mobs? Who the fuck talks like that?
To each his own, but you think dudes running up and down a field at a quick pace with cleats and no padding for 90 minutes straight is boring, but dudes standing around with eight layers of padding for half a game that takes 4 hours to complete is interesting?
It’s only 3 hours…
Seriously, it’s about being invested in the sport. You can be drawn into it by friends and/or family, and it’s another thing to share in common. Soccer is the same way. Sports fans aren’t much different than soap opera fans. They get scary interested in shit that is meaningless in the bigger picture of life. But then, that’s the whole point, right? We all need to focus our energy at something that is meaningless and inconsequential or we go slowly insane.
So that whole NCAA tournament, with its Midwest colleges like Indiana and Missouri and BYU is….?
Meh. In my personal experience, a lot of conservatives are more college football fans than college basketball fans.
Plus, there are a lot of white boy college players…
Soccer is also the only sport in the world that has “hooligans”
I picked up the article at WhiskeyFire, where the comment was made about the LA riots a couple years back when the Lakers won.
I don’t recall seeing a lot of tuxedos in that crowd…
also, how do you explain Boston, Philly, LA…am I forgetting anyone prone to starting fires and turning over police cars? NY?
Seriously, it’s about being invested in the sport.
I played football in college. Back then, the game was fun to play and fun to watch.
Now?
Ehhhhhhhh, not so much. The rule changes, and the dominance of the television networks has ruined what used to be a OK past time for a fall afternoon.
It sucks, totally. I’d rather watch bad soccer than great football.
Seriously, it’s about being invested in the sport. You can be drawn into it by friends and/or family, and it’s another thing to share in common.
Maybe I’m different because sports weren’t a big part of my youth and they mostly exist as cultural background for me. The only team I really give a shit about is the KU basketball team, and I’m a pretty mild fan compared to most Jayhawk fans. (Though I’ve become more rabid since being exposed to all these fucking asshole Mizzou fans).
NY?
Never. Not even when the Rangers won in 1994, when it really should have exploded, or the Mets in 1969. I don’t think we’ve ever had a real sports riot, in fact, but I could be selectively remembering.
The fact is*, you get invested in a sport. You learn the players, you find a team you want to win, you buy into the hype and bullshit.
See for me, it’s because I get invested in a sport that I find American football so boring. When I’m invested in a sport, I want to watch my team play. I’d go insane if the playing occurred in fifteen second intervals that I’ll miss if I blink, and was interrupted every ten minutes by beer and car commercials.
As above, to each his own. I don’t have a problem with football fans. I do have a problem with the right wing media turning events as innocuous as sports into their latest us-versus-them-athons, which is why I think actor’s post should be sent to Glenn Beck forthwith.
also, how do you explain Boston, Philly, LA…am I forgetting anyone prone to starting fires and turning over police cars? NY?
Oh yeah. I was in Boston the night the Red Sox won the World Series… yeah, that was something. Of course, in Red State Real America, working-class Bostonians are probably considered “a proleterian mob” as well.
Gary Ruppert said,
July 9, 2010 at 16:12
the fact is, vacuumslayer should stfu.. i am gay. the real gary is a gay-hating bastard.
The fact is, you’d best STFU, asshole. Nobody cares if you’re gay. Leave VS the fuck alone, dick.
Rachel Maddow is, by a long stretch, the best at what she does. I’ll fight anyone who says otherwise.
Why don’t you visit my incomparable archives and then come back here and I’ll beat you up. Rube.
I do have a problem with the right wing media turning events as innocuous as sports into their latest us-versus-them-athons, which is why I think actor’s post should be sent to Glenn Beck forthwith.
Also, Rush Limbaugh trying to buy into an NFL team.
Also.
Why don’t you visit my incomparable archives and then come back here and I’ll beat you up. Rube.
The sad thing (nr)BS, is this STILL makes her the best reporter on TV.
Thanks, tsam. I’m not quite sure why he’s so angry. I totally believed he wasn’t the real Gary. I didn’t think he was Gary, ‘cuz his posts were obviously a spoof of Gary (hard as the real one is to spoof). I was trying to tease him…gently. Obviously my gentle teasing missed its mark. Yikes.
gary’s been gone for years. i’m sad.
VS gently teasing…
moar please!
I’ve always felt like I’ve missed out a little by not being invested in sports…AT ALL. I mean, seriously, I find them all hideously boring, and I can’t be bothered to learn about them. So I’ve always missed out on that bonding “we’re all rooting for the same team” dynamic. And I’m always the one who sits quietly doing something else or talking to someone while the game’s on. Just couldn’t care less. Doesn’t matter the game. But not being a part of the crowd is pretty much the story of my life…and I’m ok with that.
I watched the end of the US World Cup game, and was to surprised to find it mildly interesting. Then again, maybe it was just fit guys with great legs clouding my judgement.
ummm, thought y’all liked having a fake gary around.
And dang you DKW. Now I’m attracted to a Fox News bimbot.
PAB is not a bimbot – although the point is moot, I called dibs.
re: interviews – break a leg.
Those aren’t footbal…This is football!
gary’s been gone for years. i’m sad.
Fuck you. Now you make yourself gone.
lulz
Here is the hierarchy of sports in order of awesomeness:
1. Baseball
2. Hurling
3. American football
4. Gaelic football (AKA, real football)
5. Basketball
6. Lacrosse
7. Mumblety-peg
8. Soccer
9. Rugby
10. Hockey
I’ve always felt like I’ve missed out a little by not being invested in sports…AT ALL.
Eh, whatever. I mean, besides KU basketball, the only sport I’ve really had any interest in is soccer, and that’s partly because it reminds me of the days when Mr. T&U and I were just two crazy kids…if you don’t find it that interesting and you don’t really have any emotions invested in it, I don’t think you’re missing out on anything.
Here is the hierarchy of sports in order of awesomeness:
1. Quidditch
2. Olympic fucking
3. Extreme quilting
Fixed.
i’m basically a bobblehead for him.
Yeah, you’re right. Hard not to feel left out sometimes, though.
Then again, maybe it was just fit guys with great legs clouding my judgement.
Another AFL promo where Sharon Davies channels Vacuumslayer.
4. Gaelic football (AKA, real football)
Pronounced “gay lick”, so this makes sense coming from you.
3. Extreme quilting
HA! Nice
4. Full Contact Scrapbooking
Ya know, it doesn’t matter how hot or fit or a guy is…short shorts just aren’t a great look for men.
OK, that made me laugh. Hard not picturing a bunch of chunky middle-aged women in Mom jeans with Jersey bangs duking it out over a table of sticky cut-outs.
Pronounced “gay lick”, so this makes sense coming from you.
LOL, a gay bashing joke. Well played. Martini?
Ya know, it doesn’t matter how hot or fit or a guy is…short shorts just aren’t a great look for men.
Hmmm, I’d have to disagree, at least in some contexts…sports uniforms are fine, IMHO.
I have occasionally watched Aussie rules football and mmmmmmmmrugby, but not because I really care about the actual *games*.
if you don’t find it that interesting and you don’t really have any emotions invested in it, I don’t think you’re missing out on anything.
I don’t think you are either. One thing that irritates me about sports fans is acting like people who aren’t rabid fanatics have something wrong with them or something. But nobody should be too amazed at someone loving to watch a sport either.
“quit objectifying men!!!!” she said, hypocritically.
OK, that made me laugh. Hard not picturing a bunch of chunky middle-aged women in Mom jeans with Jersey bangs duking it out over a table of sticky cut-outs.
Now THAT would be good television. Republican soccer mom bitches clawing each others’ eyes out…awesome.
Here is the hierarchy of sports in order of awesomeness:
1. Quidditch
2. Olympic fucking
3. Extreme quilting
What? No shopping?
Ya know, it doesn’t matter how hot or fit or a guy is…short shorts just aren’t a great look for men.
**tosses daisy dukes on the fire**
LOL, a gay bashing joke.
No, Irish bashing. Please get your bigotries straight.
Pardon the pun.
Hey…I wonder what kind of sports conservatives would play…
Stuff like…
Australian-rules Demagoguing?
Hey…I wonder what kind of sports conservatives would play…
Cheerleading at Yale University…? This was the “cowboy” persona.
What? No shopping?
I really need to start working on that punching through the internet machine I’ve been contemplating…
I really need to start working on that punching through the internet machine I’ve been contemplating…
Nooooo….you’d empty this place out inside of one day.
Daisy Dukes, you say?
I wonder what kind of sports conservatives would play…
1 Broadjumping to conclusions
2 Stretching to make a point
3 Logic leaping
4 Stooping that low
5 Tiddlywinks. (only because you can still eat Cheetos while playing)
Note that in all of these, they’re wearing the kind of shorts NBA players used to wear…so short you could pluck anal hairs from under the hem
That’s what manly men cowboys do, ya know?
Nooooo….you’d empty this place out inside of one day.
Am I really *that* mean?
Am I really *that* mean?
I can show you scars…
it reminds me of the days when Mr. T&U and I were just two crazy kids
Pre-thorazine?
I can show you scars…
I thought you liked that!
Daisy Dukes, you say?
Yeah. It’s what I do with my Wranglers when the knees wear out from…um…working.
5 Tiddlywinks. (only because you can still eat Cheetos while playing)
Hey! I take exception to that. As a liberal and former all-American left tiddly.
I thought you liked that!
Strictly speaking for others. I do get some thrills.
Pre-thorazine?
No!
Risperidone.
former all-American left tiddly.
Like all males, I’m a sucker for a nice pair of tiddlys.
It’s what I do with my Wranglers when the knees wear out from…um…working.
Mine wear out just next to the front pocket.
From, um, my keys. Yes. That’s it. Keys.
Strictly speaking for others. I do get some thrills.
It’s true. We do like watching you get beaten.
What would the sport be called where you shit your pants about some supposedly liberal theme you saw in a movie that is ruining your beloved real america?
Extreme pants shitting?
What would the sport be called where you shit your pants about some supposedly liberal theme you saw in a movie that is ruining your beloved real america?
Football.
LOL. I’d call it Professional Preemptive Pants-Shitting.
Football.
Nuh uhhh. That’s not true.
LOL. I’d call it Professional Preemptive Pants-Shitting.
Very nice! I like it. Add it to the list. (PPPS)
Add it to the list. (PPPS)
So after the “P.S.” and the “P.P.S.” but before the “P.P.P.P.S.”?
Needs more ALGORE ALGORE ALGORE!!!
Hey…I heard he’s fat.
Like all males, I’m a sucker for a nice pair of tiddlys.
I’m sure you are aware that the game has three tddlies on each team, the left tiddly, the right tiddly and the mid tiddly (often referred to as middly). There are also two winkers, the full winker and the half winker.
There are also two winkers, the full winker and the half winker.
If I saw three tiddlys, I’d be a full winker.
Risperidone.
What you done?
Wasn’t there a guy with three winkers in “Total Recall”?
Wasn’t there a guy with three winkers in “Total Recall”?
No, but there was a bar girl with a left tiddly, a right tiddly and a middly.
Hey…I heard he’s fat.
And he lives in a mansion. Ergo, global warming is a hoax. Also, too.
And he lives in a mansion. Ergo, global warming is a hoax. Also, too.
Aristotle would be proud.
Quaid…start the reactor.
And he lives in a mansion. Ergo, global warming is a hoax. Also, too.
I’ll bet he uses more than one square of toilet paper, too.
DrinkingGolf tournament today–wooohooo! No more worky for tsam!I disagree,
The hierarchy of (spectator) sports is thus:
1.Rugby (Union)
2.Downhill Skiing
3.Hurling
4.Moto GP
5.Hockey
6.Boxing
7.Unlimited class airplane racing
8.Rally racing
9.Baseball
Honorable mention:
Ferret legging, Shin Kicking, Bog snorkling, Running with bulls, street luge, mountain bike racing, Road bike racing.
The Lowerarchy spectator sports is thus:
1. Golf
2. Golf
3. Poker
4. Billiards
5. Golf
6. NASCAR
7. Bowling
8. Lawn Bowling
9. Croquet
10.Chess
Dishonorable mention:
Figure Skating, Academic Decathalon, Golf, Checkers, Czechers, Disc Golf.
Honorable mention:
Ferret legging, Shin Kicking, Bog snorkling, Running with bulls, street luge, mountain bike racing, Road bike racing.
You missed the great Scottish sport, catching the caber.
Ferret legging, Shin Kicking
NOT to be performed simultaneously.
Caber catch is great TV, but much like the closely related Javelin catch, hammer catch and shot put catch, it falls in the category of “sports you can pretty much only do once”
You leavin’ us? *sniff* Who’s gonna defend me against Fake Gary Ruppert?
Who’s gonna defend me against Fake Gary Ruppert?
Ahem. http://www.sadlyno.com/archives/32326.html/comment-page-4#comment-1093339
NM…N_B’s got this.
Ferret legging, Shin Kicking
NOT to be performed simultaneously.
That would be heinous. I can only condone combining those two activities when a more robust animal is substituted for the ferret. Some possibilites:
bears, wolverines, bulls, cape buffalo, walrus, anacondas
Caber catch is great TV, but much like the closely related Javelin catch, hammer catch and shot put catch, it falls in the category of “sports you can pretty much only do once”
Any damned fool can toss one of any of those, but it takes a *special* man to catch one.
I wanna see bear-legging.
Actually, I’m leaving too. Got to go photograph foundation cracks*.
*As in broken masonry, not anal fissures.
I wanna see bear-legging.
*rolling up pants*
OK, but don’t blame me when you swoon.
I’m relieved for you!
*rolling up pants*
Too swoon.
That made me chuckle.
I was also gonna offer to show my gams*. they’re pretty ok.
*For an 80-year-old, I have great legs!
I’m relieved for you!
I’m not. There are certain websites that pay good money for photos of anal fissures.
I was also gonna offer to show my gams*. they’re pretty ok.
*For an 80-year-old, I have great legs!
Maybe you better give them back to the 80 year old.
rolling up pants*
Too swoon.
Low tech.
No. And she needs to quit her bitchin’ about it. I’m tire of hearing how “hard it is” for her to get around.
Sports? I don’t care about any of them, really. Once upon a time, I was really into the Olympics and would watch every minute I was free. For the past 10 years or so I haven’t watched them at all. Football is too fucking loud, plus, boring. Basketball is also too loud. Baseball I’ll still watch occasionally during playoffs or world series – yes, it’s slow moving, but there is some strategy involved. Also I’ll watch golf – because it’s quiet enough that I can watch the actual action every few minutes and go back to reading in-between. But I don’t count on any sporting event to actually entertain me.
FTFY
BTW, I was a champion hurler in college but I suspect you were talking about another sport.
Rachel Maddow is, by a long stretch, the best at what she does.
On network teevee? Absolutely.
When she walked through the “upscale” part of Kabul with Richard Engel & pointed out the surreal contrast of monster-house absentee-landlord palaces, with a view of unpaved streets & an open garbage-tip? Yeah, that was a real Moment worth noting … one that ranks right up there with Kronkite saying “the United States can not win in Vietnam” for sheer brute impact.
Here is the hierarchy of sports in order of awesomeness:
1. Orgiasty
2. Punctuation
3. Oneiromancy
4. Puddlejumping
5. Andromeda
BTW, I was a champion hurler in college
Oh, me too.
Okay, I totally am…
I was a champion hurler in college
Did you compete in the distance events?
77south, I find you to be a most visionary and agreeable sort of fellow. You might be a Fellow Akronite? Then you would know that I-77is the superhighway/tollway alternative to US Rt 21. This relects the West Virginia school ‘3 R’s’; Readin’, ‘Ritin’ and Rt. 21.
Okay, I totally am…
a champion hurler now.
WTF, brain?
Going way back in the thread….
He lets castrati look down their noses at him?
Castrati looked down their noses at everyone, since they were actually really tall. Their bones didn’t stop growing properly after puberty.
And proper football is what they play in Orkney. At Christmas and New Year, they board up the shopfronts and play a game of street football. Dozens of players, not much in the way of rules, first to get the ball to one end of the town or the other wins.
At Christmas and New Year, they board up the shopfronts and play a game of street football. Dozens of players, not much in the way of rules, first to get the ball to one end of the town or the other wins.
That’s easy when your town is only one block long.
Creature, I am midwestern, but I am calling Madison WI home these days. My nym refers to the year I spent at Sunny McMurdo Station (77 degrees south latitude). Ahh, Ross Island. Nothing but sun for half the year, White beaches, cooling offshore breezes and single willing women behind every tree….
Have we already hit the Friday afternoon dead zone? Will I have to actually work?
Damn you, people, YOU MUST ENTERTAIN ME!!
I blame 77south, or maybe tsam.
I seem to be fundamentally incapable of investing in a sport, or a team. Drag me to a sports match, and I’ll enjoy watching the game (and root for the underdog), but I won’t seek out all the games of a certain team, nor will I care about stats or players or rivalries. The only team that I want to see win is my alma mater*, and even then I won’t seek out opportunities to watch them play.
*I do, however, want to see Kansas, Notre Dame, and the Yankees lose at every opportunity. Even this is primarily philosophical.
OFFS. Why do I let family friend me on Facebook, again?
A cousin I haven’t talked to in, like, twenty years friended me yesterday and is now all up in my face about a status update I had regarding the Oscar Grant case.
Damn you, people, YOU MUST ENTERTAIN ME!!
5th song down is something called Mind The Gap.
I do this great routine in Blackface…
“We wouldn’t use Tasers if they weren’t safe,” and “People only die from Tasers if they’ve been using drugs.”
I do this great routine in
Blacksnotface…Phyqx’ed for sinusey goodness
And thanks, DKW, but your mom’s entertaining enough.
5th song down is something called Mind The Gap.
As performed by DKW’s Mom and The Snatches.
Why do I let family friend me on Facebook, again?
I have the same issue with old high school co-graduates (not really “friends” per se). I grew up in a small Navy town and “conservative” doesn’t even begin to describe the residents. With only a couple of exceptions, their chldren, my peers, make up the core of the tea party
bowelmovement. I acquired a number of facebook “friends” from this group before that really became clear.I’m now much more careful about whom I call friend…just like in real life!
Okay fine then, let me quote you some lyrics
I am a bit of a snotface. Hey, is there another adult on the planet who liked this movie?
I have the same issue with old high school co-graduates (not really “friends” per se). I grew up in a small Navy town and “conservative” doesn’t even begin to describe the residents.
I would probably tell them that they’re the reason I grew up and moved on…
Hey, is there another adult on the planet who liked this movie?
I doubt there was another human who liked it.
My mom and I were just discussing this other day. Apparently my maternal grandmother’s side is lousy with conservatives. My mom–in order to maintain civility–just pretty much does not discuss anything political with them.
Aww, go fuck yourself and DKW’s mom while you’re at it.
Aww, go fuck yourself and DKW’s mom while you’re at it.
We’re waiting for you to join us…there’s always room for one more!
All right! Lather up the pandas and grab the camera!
I would probably tell them that they’re the reason I grew up and moved on…
Oh they are…couldn’t get out of town soon enough. But I’m incapable of being that direct unless they’ve made me really mad. Then, HULK SMASH. It ain’t pretty. You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.
All right! Lather up the pandas and grab the camera!
No pandas. Plenty of ferrets, tho.
Lather up the pandas
What, no olive oil?
Damn you, people, YOU MUST ENTERTAIN ME!!
Have you read all of Lindy West’s old articles? Lady’s been on a roll lately.
Other than that, all I got to talk about is my cholesterol. My HDL was fine before Obama came to power, now it’s at 27. Typical thuggish Chicago-style lipid profile.
My HDL was fine before Obama came to power, now it’s at 27
I prescribe masturbation.
It might not work and side effects include hairy itchy palms and sticky tube socks, but studies have shown¹ that wanking is an effective treatment for low HDL.
¹ Not FDA approved
Hey, is there another adult on the planet who liked this movie?
Wow, I forgot about this one. What is this, circa ‘Detroit Bad Boys title repeat?
OMG! BP DRILLED INTO A VOLCANO!
Link or it didn’t happen.
I prescribe masturbation.
There’s a time and place for everything.
There’s a time and place for everything.
For masturbation, the proper answers are “all the” and “every”.
There’s a time and place for everything.
For teh ladies.
Is that where your mom comes from, DKW?
I think I’d rather go to Anus, France. Hey, it’s France.
I think I’d rather go to Anus, France. Hey, it’s France.
I see London, I see France, I see VS underpants…
I see VS underpants…
Don’t you think you should patch up that slit? You might catch cold…
I can imagine a good solid game of Orkney football played in Manhattan. A team could probably win by getting the ball on the correct subway train. Getting it there with a good 1000-10000 times more players on each side could prove challenging though.
Getting it there with a good 1000-10000 times more players on each side could prove challenging though.
Stuff it under some woman’s blouse, then shout at the people in the way.
I’d prefer to go to Nipples, Italy but hey, to each her own.
Also, the link to the Lindy West articles is teh Awesome. Thanks, Angry Geometer. Too.
I’d prefer to go to Nipples, Italy but hey, to each her own.
And-a I’d rather go to Virginia, because I-a heard they were laying da Virginia Pipelinee….
Can someone please explain to me why the fuck it’s smelled like cinnamon rolls over here all day?
Can someone please explain to me why the fuck it’s smelled like cinnamon rolls over here all day?
No.
No.
Whyyyyyyyyyy noooooooooooot?
Oh, I think it’s because my coffee yesterday had cinnamon in it and I threw the cup in the trash under my desk (they only empty trash, like, once a week). Why did I do that? Gross.
the Oscar Grant case.
He’s still rooming with Felix Unger, yes?
Can someone please explain to me why the fuck it’s smelled like cinnamon rolls over here all day?
You’re having a stroke?
“We wouldn’t use Tasers if they weren’t safe,”
“We wouldn’t use leaded paint if it wasn’t safe”
“We wouldn’t prescribe thalidimide if it wasn’t safe”
“We wouldn’t drill at 5000′ in the Gulf if it wasn’t safe”
It really works well in a lot of circumstance.
You’re having a stroke?
Penalty for going out of bounds?
Oh, he changed it to say, “If it was that risky, you wouldn’t have it used on you as part of training.” Because, you know, using a Taser under controlled circumstances on a fairly fit person is EXACTLY THE SAME.
He’s still rooming with Felix Unger, yes?
Wrong guy – this is Mary Richards’ boss, I think.
No, wait, it’s the guy who makes sunglasses.
re:Tasers
Since I’m all Canucky today, allow me to share the latest fallout from teh Braidwood Report:
You’re having a stroke?
Don’t do that to me. I’m a hypochondriac.
I thought it was that poor, cranky motherfucker who lives in a garbage can.
I’ve been bitching for years about calling them “non-lethal.” “Less lethal” would work.
I’m a hypochondriac.
Then you need to get your core temperature up immediately.
No, wait, it’s the guy who makes sunglasses.
No.
Bologna.
Since I’m all Canucky today, allow me to share the latest fallout from teh Braidwood Report:
Thanks. I actually have that to post as soon as I’m a little less pissy.
I’ve been bitching for years about calling them “non-lethal.” “Less lethal” would work.
Me, too.
Then you need to get your core temperature up immediately.
I already have my space heater on! I don’t know what else to do!
Then you need to get your core temperature up immediately.
I already have my space heater on! I don’t know what else to do!
Rub your breasts briskly together over a pile of dry leaves.
Rub your breasts briskly together over a pile of dry leaves.
*PSST! The camera isn’t in place yet!*
Rub your breasts briskly together over a pile of dry leaves.
Look. I don’t know what it’s like out there in New York, but here? No dry leaves to be had. I might be able to muster up some dry heaves, though…
No dry leaves to be had.
Really? I was thinking there was a baggie around somewhere…
Really? I was thinking there was a baggie around somewhere…
Dude. You been holding out on me?
No dry leaves to be had.
uhhhhhhhhh, welllllllllllllll, thennnnnnnnn…um, there’s a stack of books over there in the corner…by the security camera…
Me, I’m inclined to stick with inappropriate comments on the upcoming match. You know, Spain-Netherlands, grudge match of the millennium, Spain-Netherlands, nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition, Spain-Netherlands, this time it’s personal, etc.
grudge match of the millennium
Let’s relive the wars of the 16th century!
Overclock and run Prime95. If you don’t die then you know you did it right.
Rub your breasts briskly together over a pile of
dry leavesnaked librarians.Fixed! For better medical efficacy!
Rub your breasts briskly together
over a pile of dry leaves naked librariansme.Even fixxeder!
This sounds like it might chafe after a while, guys.
It’s cool, I have lotion.
Need to find a lubricant…geesh, do we have to think of everything?
This sounds like it might chafe after a while, guys.
The post-game wrap up will be called “The Chafing Dish.”
lol
“Rub your breasts briskly together over a pile of dry leaves.”
Exactly what does this accomplish?
Exactly what does this accomplish?
Directly: starting a fire to keep poor little T&U warm.
Indirectly: read above…
This sounds like it might chafe after a while, guys.
Won’t hurt us a bit!
“Rub your breasts briskly together over a pile of dry leaves.”
Exactly what does this accomplish?
You never heard of naturopathy????
Exactly what does this accomplish?
Well, we haven’t had a Daily Boob Mention yet, so that?
Well, I tried it and I couldn’t start a fire. Not even a spark. I’m skeptical of this method.
Speaking of sinuses,
PENIS.
Well, I tried it and I couldn’t start a fire. Not even a spark. I’m skeptical of this method.
Maybe you need a firmer hand. Here, let me try….
Well, I tried it and I couldn’t start a fire. Not even a spark. I’m skeptical of this method.
Obviously, you were never in the Girl Scouts.
“TruculentandUnreliable said,
July 9, 2010 at 21:35
Well, I tried it and I couldn’t start a fire. Not even a spark. I’m skeptical of this method.
Obviously, you were never in the Girl Scouts.”
This sounds like a setup for pr0n.
“Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
July 9, 2010 at 21:35
Speaking of sinuses,
PENIS.”
Silly. That’s just lube for nasal sex.
Paul the prognasticator picks Germany in Saturday’s game and picks Spain to win the World Cup.
Paul teh Son of rEVOLution talks to America’s poor.
This bit at the end about the backfiring Soviet propaganda film – where did it come from? I mean SRSLY, if this story is true, how does it not get krushed by teh Kremlin? It sounds totes bogus to me – but who knows, maybe there is some sort of reference for it.
I mean SRSLY, if this story is true, how does it not get krushed by teh Kremlin?
Paul was part of the spy exchange. They had no choice.
Good Lord, that man is an idiot.
The lack of compassion is sadly unsurprising.
Shorter Daniel Foster: You Don’t Have To Be Smart to Know From Dumb
This is why our OB/GYNs can’t get enough love.
Once more with feeling,
“Reagan on Socialists” sounds kinda dirty.
I will NOT be renting that. Give me a call when “Regan on Socialists on DKW’s Mom” comes out.
I will NOT be renting that. Give me a call when “Regan on Socialists on DKW’s Mom” comes out.
Reagan doesn’t deserve DKW’s mom.
Although, really, what if Reagan had a secret socialist fetish? Like, he made Nancy dress up like a KBG agent or something?
There’s only one spectator sport for me.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bog_snorkelling
Finnish wife carrying.
Finnish wife carrying.
I have relatives who have competed in that. To this day, one still can’t straighten up completely and his wife needed couples counseling.
No-one has mentioned Competitive Lancashire Clogging.
No-one has mentioned Competitive Lancashire Clogging
Y’know, there was a reason no one wanted to go there…
the Forward Sir Percy
He of the multiple temporary restraining orders…
Foster:
The ideal leader is a dumbass. I know claims to conservative intellectualism are like “creation science” – put those words near each other and they look more smarter – but please. It’s a religion, not a position.
Watching sport is a relaxation thing. You can get mildly engaged in something knowing that whatever happens it really doesn’t mean all that much. It’s not like GWB going up against Kim Jong Il for Mr Crazyarse of the Year, when some serious shit could result. It really is just a game with a nice defined end and result.
That said, societies waste too much time, energy and money on them because they keep the proletariat mob minds off the real stuff. Sport in moderation is not so bad.
There was absolutely nothing as good as watching Barry Bonds in his prime. The most gifted athlete baseball will ever see.
The most gifted athlete baseball will ever
seemanufacture.Fixed that for ya.
I totally agree. But I think it may be like religion. You either get into it, or ya don’t. I never did. I’ve never “gotten” it. But I certainly don’t begrudge people enjoying sports.
The athletes who always impressed me the most were people like gymnasts and ice skaters and ballet dancers, etc. But their incredible athleticism is always taken for granted/completely and utterly ignored.
Senate candidate Alvin Greene’s job plan:
“Another thing we can do for jobs is make toys of me, especially for the holidays. Little dolls. Me. Like maybe little action dolls. Me in an army uniform, Air Force uniform, and me in my suit. They can make toys of me and my vehicle, especially for the holidays and Christmas for the kids. That’s something that would create jobs. So you see I think out of the box like that.”
Didn’t W already try that?
The ideal leader is a dumbass. I know claims to conservative intellectualism are like “creation science” – put those words near each other and they look more smarter – but please. It’s a religion, not a position.
Yes. See the Palin-adulation.
WHY WAS I NOT INFORMED OF THE EXISTENCE OF THIS?
There was absolutely nothing as good as watching Barry Bonds in his prime. The most gifted athlete baseball will ever see.
Agreed. Albert Pujols, even shot up with twice as much steroids, isn’t half as good. Seeing Bonds play made me think that maybe there really is a God. That he’s not some imaginary sky fairy that weak minded fools need to believe in to get through the day. Otherwise how do you explain the existence of such a perfect creature as Barry Bonds? Nah, he’s just a beautiful anomaly. Religion is for chumps.
Pup, if you try it, let us know what you think.
We’d assumed you weren’t a HEARTLESS MONSTER.
5th song down is something called Mind The Gap.
Odd. Second item down is something called “Mind The Gap.”
Pup, if you try it, let us know what you think.
I will endeavor to find the appropraite cut of lamb this weekend.
We’d assumed you weren’t a HEARTLESS MONSTER.
Some years back I had a hankering to roast a whole lamb on a spit. Called the Amish market over in the next valley and ordered a lamb. When I went to pick it up of a Saturday morning, I found a stiff, skinless, gutted body. The eyes were wide open. Only way to fit the thing in the car was in the back seat with the head sticking out he window. Looked like a satanic dog or something. I made several passes down College Avenue, freaking people out. We named him fluffy. He was tasty.
The athletes who always impressed me the most were people like … ballet dancers
That’s the one thing I can appreciate about ballet: the athleticism. Is it beautiful? Meh. Expressive? Not to me. But boy can those people do amazing things with their bodies.*
Yes, I realize I’m a Philistine lowbrow. I also love American football and am fascinated by soccer even if I don’t care about the result (perhaps for much the same reason as above WRT ballet). I think Formula 1 is an incredible sport and the Tour de France is a three-week soap opera. I expect pretty much everybody here to throw rotten vegetables at me for my taste.
If the Earth Stood Still
All of you canucks better learn to swim.
* …much like DKW’s mom.
Added ick: The Mayfair Market on Franklin Av. here in L.A. used to (early ’90s) sell lamb heads, skin & eyes removed, which they would cheerfully place on the styrofoam tray, wrapped in plastic & right there in the meat case.
Sightless lamb sockets staring at one could be disconcerting when making an altered-consciousness run for snack items.
P.M. Did you eat the head of the lamb?
My people(s) consider it a delicacy- at least they did in the old countries.
🙂 They really can. They’re amazing athletes. I know, ‘cuz I used to dance myself. I have experience with all that. I’ve played everything at least once. All the “guy” stuff was so easy for me. I have a good arm, I’m a fast runner. It was gymnastics and ballet (especially!) and cheerleading that really tested me. And tennis. Tennis looks so easy, but it’s so not.
I like the way you think.
I really have to get out of the house more, because no one told ME about THIS!
Tastes like chicken? I will try the Tex-Mex-stylee.
All of you canucks better learn to swim.
The polar bears will get them.
P.M. Did you eat the head of the lamb?
You damn betcha! And I _liked_ it.
For no good reason other than the thread is dying and it’s a wee bit early for me to start drinking, I will also mention that I corned some pork shoulder (along with a couple beef briskets) a few weeks ago. I’m going to rub it with coriander, garlic and pepper and smoke it along aside the identically prepared brisket. What do I call it, porkstrami, buttstrami,, what?
Buttstrami. *giggle*
But boy can those people do amazing things with their bodies.
Yes. They Can. I dated a dancer, long ago. Just *ahem* fucking amazing.
“Yes. They Can. I dated a dancer, long ago. Just *ahem* fucking amazing.”
Oh sure. Tease us why don’t ya?
I really have to get out of the house more, because no one told ME about THIS!
Tastes like chicken? I will try the Tex-Mex-stylee.
The original Nathan’s on Coney Island serves them- I think they taste more like a freshwater fish such as perch, but the texture is firmer… if a fish and a chicken had an unholy union… it’s looks like you’re eating a Smurf when you eat them.
Bonus story, I went to Coney Island with a bunch of people, including a clueless friend. I bought a couple of orders of frogs’ legs for the crowd, and the clueless guy bit into one and said,
“This has got a bone in it!”
“Well, what did you expect?”
“Chicken fingers got no bones!”
I kid you not.
Also if my ass shot radioactive fire I would rob Fort Knox and make everybody walk on their hands.
Hey, me too! That pole-twirling does a number on your back.
Pup tease us?
But, but, YOU’RE the one with the breastesses! Ain’t that your job?
Anyone tried this “YouTube™ for lazy people?”
I am not sure how to react, because the first two that the robot picks for me (That “Drop Dead Fred” clip & “Shoop” by Salt’n’Pepa) have both been rated by vacuumslayer. Seriously, is there nowhere on the web safe from these bad influences?
Yeah, but boob-having aside, I’m much more likely to tease you, tease you. You know, dip your…testicles in the inkwell…or something.
Besides, I’m still pissed I wasted so much time furiously rubbing my breasts together over those dry leaves. It didn’t do ANYTHING.
I fondly remember gigging* frogs in my youth. Lightly breaded and fried in butter with garlic. Garnish with chopped parsley. Yum.
*IIRC, this is the correct term for frog hunting.
(looking down)
Um, yes it did.
Hey man. That’s the chance you take when you consort with me. I have pretty terrible (wonderful) taste and the maturity of a third-grader with ADD. You roll the dice you takes your chances.
FROGS LEGS DON’T MIX WITH BREASTESSES!!!!
(said in the B.C. walking clam voice…crap. walking clam. And we’re off again)
*chortle*
I fondly remember gigging* frogs in my youth.
Giggity giggity giggity!
FYWP! It done eated a previous comment.
“This has got a bone in it!”
Obligatory.
It done eated a previous comment.
Maybe it’s one of your people. They’ll eat anything.
Et frog legs here (used to live right around the corner); they tasted like chicken wings, but the garlic & butter sauce (which would make shoe leather extra-tasty) may have covered any fishy whatnot.
I just re-read John Bellairs’ The Face in the Frost and there’s a shout out to Emperor Pupienus in an early chapter.
any fishy whatnot
Fish isn’t supposed to taste “fishy”- if it does, that’s a sign of not-so-fresh ness.
a sign of not-so-fresh ness.
I recently read the epic John Fitzgerald Page threads on Fark, so there’s really nothing to say but “douche.”
isn’t supposed to taste “fishy”
I think they taste more like a freshwater fish such as perch
Perhaps I should’ve typed “fish-like.” And gawd nose if Nathan’s gets the finest Euro-frogs or mere domestic hoppers.
Not that I’ve any taste buds left anyway. Or taste.
Thanks!
I recently read the epic John Fitzgerald Page threads on Fark, so there’s really nothing to say but “douche.”
The philosophical question this guy brings up to me is, which mental illnesses are still funny? This guy is basically the definition of Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
Here’s how I score them:
always funny: Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Avoidant Personality Disorder, Pyromania, OCD
sometimes funny: Dissociative Identity Disorder, Bipolar Disorder, Eating disorders, paraphilias, Borderline Personality Disorder, Schizophrenia
really just kind of sad: n/a
http://gawker.com/5583457/clarence-thomas-suicidal-epileptic-nephew-punched-tasered-in-hospital?skyline=true&s=i
Clarence Thomas is OUTRAGED because it happened to HIS nephew and not yours. The irony is that in any suit against hospital security, their attorneys can quote words in Supreme Court decisions written by the plaintiff’s uncle to their great benefit to their case.
On Topic:
Ola! Back from Spain where I watched the game while sipping a cold Mahou as the Spaniards crush Germany in a 1 to 0 blow out.
crushed
http://www.wnd.com/index.php?pageId=175413
Hmmm, this looks interesting…but painful.
Oh crap, sorry, let me be civilized here.
Hmmmm, this looks interesting.
But painful. Oddly, my whole work week has been filled with mistakes & afterthoughts…nice that I can be so fucking consistent.
Oddly, my whole work week has been filled with mistakes & afterthoughts…nice that I can be so fucking consistent.
I’m still at work- was scheduled to be here ’til five, probably won’t leave ’til ten.
I so wanted to go out drinking tonight!
From Shell G’s link:
I also need to extend a thank-you to some people in Sacramento and Detroit. In February, 10 atheist billboards were defaced in the Golden State and a slew of atheist bus ads were vandalized in Detroit. My dose of honesty this week: I am not happy that vandalism seems to be the only way to get an atheist’s attention*. I’m happy that I can count on other Christians to stand up for themselves and for Christians everywhere. It gives me hope.
Aw-reet, atheist billboard burnings any day now!
*Why does she even want atheists’ attention? What will she do w/ it if she gets it?
Just when I start believing there is no hope for our country I get a little reminder from my God that all is not lost
Well, she’s with the vandals, the Vandals were a Gothic tribe, so her god is probably Tyr or Wotan.
My dose of honesty this week: I am not happy that vandalism seems to be the only way to get
an atheist’sa Jew’s attention*.Fixed to reflect the true sentiment.
Oh, heck, I needed something trashy to read, so I started The Boys from Brazil.
I am not happy that vandalism seems to be the only way to get an atheist’s attention*.
Do you want else will get an atheists’ attention?
Boobies!
“Oh, heck, I needed something trashy to read, so I started The Boys from Brazil.”
Do you know who else started reading “The Boys From Brazil”?
I also need to extend a thank-you to some people in Sacramento and Detroit. In February, 10 atheist billboards were defaced in the Golden State and a slew of atheist bus ads were vandalized in Detroit. My dose of honesty this week: I am not happy that vandalism seems to be the only way to get an atheist’s attention*. I’m happy that I can count on other Christians to stand up for themselves and for Christians everywhere. It gives me hope.
LOL. This happened to me with another wingnut when she heard about a bus that said “There’s no God, so why worry?” on the side, and was personally insulted by it (of course, she gets personally insulted any time a nonconservative opens their mouth, but moving on…)
The irony is that they’re calling for POLITICAL CORRECTNESS. Ahhh, OMG, someone doesn’t agree! It burns us, it burns us, it hurts our precious and sensitive little feelings, make it stop!
Fucking pussies. Grow a pair and welcome to post-1776 America, dipshits.
“Do you want”
gocart doesn’t do grammer. Proper grammer is fascism. Viva la Revelocion!
Yes Chris, political correctness is conservative projection. The most “politically correct” (a worthless word) people are conservative: always have been, always will be.
How it works:
1) People’s Daily Online. (From a “British-based media company” not otherwise identified.)
2) Some nut in Dallas.
3) Hoft of First Things.
4) Profit? Madness?
I am not happy that vandalism seems to be the only way to get an atheist’s attention*.</i.
CUT!
Take 2: I am not happy that vandalism is the only way to get back at those mean atheists why I'd like to
CUT!
Take 3: I'd rather shoot those fuckers than…
CUT! CUT CUT!
CUT! CUT CUT!
So began the foreskin holocaust!
Still stuck at work… was scheduled until 5 PM.
GRR!!
And here I am all the way on the uberliberal west coast, and I’m about to make another G&T. Phphttpht
When I was an east coaster no one went out before 11 anyway. You wuss.
Too and also, DKW’S mom won’t even be warmed up when you get off* so what’s the big deal?
*work. Off work. Pig.
Though now that I think about, either reading is as good as the other.
When I was an east coaster no one went out before 11 anyway. You wuss.
Last call is 4AM, there’ll be time.
And here I am all the way on the uberliberal west coast, and I’m about to make another G&T.
I’ve got a quart and a half of homemade limoncello in the freezer, and a gallon of pure grain alcohol (with lemon zest macerating in it) on the butcher’s block.
But I’m still at work!
You’re supposed to be crazy high when you watch the Tim and Eric Awesome Show, right?
I’ve got a quart and a half of homemade limoncello
Awesome!
I’ll put the finishing touches on the next 2-gallon batch next week. I have a dozen lemons in the fridge, sans peels, so I bought a couple of cans of tahini.
Gonna be a baba ghannouj-y summer.
I’ve never seen Tim and Eric nor do I even know who they or what their schtick is but being crazy high has always been helpful for me in most situations.
Ob. Disclaimer: not to be construed as medical advice. Your mileage may vary. Sorry, Tennessee.
I am not happy that I had a tall rum & coke, I still have 2 PIECES OF LIME, plenty of rum, plenty of cola…but I don’t really want another drink. Shit.
What is this limoncello stuff of which you speak? It involves tahini? I’m so confused.
Two words: preserved lemons. I use a lot of them. One “production” jar on the counter, another in a cupboard getting ready for use.
Also, protip: if you don’t have a grill, a propane torch applied with a vengeance to the eggplant works wonders to get that faint but all important smokiness for your baba ghanouj. Char the shit out of ’em. Finish in the oven. Faaabulouous.
If it involves lemons, I’m all for it. Everything is better with lashings of lemon juice & olive oil. Well, okay, maybe not dessert.
It’s not a subtle cuisine, but it is mine own.
Not one of them dainty little effete “kitchen” torches they sell to the poseurs at Williams fucking Sonoma neither. Use an honest to fucking god manly propane torch you bought at a goddamn hardware store. And use it like a man too – none of that ooh ooh am I burning it? shit. YES you are burning the goddamn fuck out of it, that’s the fucking point. You are making a charred post apolocalyptic graphite encased aubergine for goddamn sake already.
Also good for peppers and other things. I brulee my creme with it too. Yummm, creme brulee.
I have not yet found a combination of substances that makes Tim & Eric Awesome Show comprehensible, and I generally like the Adult Swim odd shows (other than Metalocalypse, which is execrable at best).
LTLFTP*, random thoughts that I’ve had trying to figure out the inside jokes that might be funny:
I thought FYWP meant “fuck you white people”, which made sense until I realized that this is WordPress. I think my way is betterer.
Hotels are now offering Aromatherapy lotion in the goody basket, it was good that I discovered this after shaving my head, could have been much more uncomfortable. And who the fuck wants tea tree & eucalyptus smelling skin, especially since that’s generally dandruff shampoo.
I think it’s time to get off the mom jokes, I just got off of DKW’s
RE: boobs. Bluntly telling a stripper that while her boobs are nice and big, they’re nowhere near as large or lovely as your wife’s will not necessarily dissuade her from continuing to attempt to sell a lap dance.
RE: more boobs. The vandalism thing, Vandals are not Goths, they’re from Idaho!
YouTube for Lazy People scares me, my first 2 attempts gave me a top-25 Metallica songs video (not that I hate Metallica anymore than anyone else who killed the best fucking way ever for music buffs to hear about new music that wasn’t getting airplay or Rolling Stone reviews and then buy the damn CDs and support the artists) and THEN I got a wacko, right-wing, nut-job screed about Gangster Government with Michelle FUCKING FRUITCAKE AND FASCISM Bachmann talking about the government taking over GM and closing all the dealerships unless a dealer talks to his democRAT senator and then he gets his dealership back, and probably a honda dealership too, or maybe a Citroen dealership since the Japanese aren’t commie enough and rainbows and sparkleunicorns and blowjobs from ponies. Also and real americans, you betcha.
*Long time lurker, first time poster.
Lemon juice and extra virgin olive oil drizzled on sweetened ricotta piled onto a pastry-ish something sounds good to me.
And who the fuck wants tea tree & eucalyptus smelling skin,
The koalas are into it. Maybe the pandas too but I can’t say from personal experience.
Use only honey to sweeten the ricotta. Damnit.
Tag fail. *sigh*
Put that first line (the one starting “And who the fuck” in italics please.
kthx
really just kind of sad:
n/aRepublicanismFiqqst just for the hell of it.
Art Chance is my nam andasholery is my game. It’s l about me playing both sides against the middle. I’m always the winer,an if played soccer Iwouldbe , too go for any of these german clowns that take the easy way out.
All any of you German clowns need to know about me is I what I tell you, Not what anyone else says! just like the way Hitler knew how to govern, with a twist if alinski campaigns, you kraut-faced sadlynaughts should love me!
I could even commit suicide better than this Enke guy if something finally bummed me out enough.
Lemon juice and extra virgin olive oil drizzled on sweetened ricotta piled onto a pastry-ish something sounds good to me.
You have a gift, I think maybe.
It sounds *very good indeed,* I had a stupid yoghurt cup for dessert.
Get ready for a very important upcoming date, which is September 3, by creating your Redstate Accounts now.
That way you can all be ready to wish a Happy Birthday to ME! It will really bum me out if you don’t all drop in and wish ME the best on MY birthday.
Because it is all about Me, and because I used to sit around the table with Sarah Palin, Greg Renkes and Frank Murkowski, and people like ME because I am such a genius of everything known. I’m so smart I didn’t even have to complete an education. I am the best of all the schemers, dreamers and drivers of bimmers.
Actually I drive a Chrysler 300 that you Daimler krauts helped engineer….Thanks for help with engineering my car for ME!
Hi I’m back. Got hammered, shot some shitty golf, got home somehow and slept it off. Topped that off with some cashew scallops from a local Asian Cafe (best food EVER), and here I am. It smells like poontang up in here.
Also, DIE NETHERLANDS. GO SPAIN!
I’m still mad about that whole South Africa thing.
And it looks like I’ve killed another one.
Also, DIE NETHERLANDS. GO SPAIN!
I’m with ya.
I’d have been happy either way with Germany or Spain winning the last game. Spain won, and that’s that. Death to the two worst plagues of our time; 1) People intolerant of other people’s cultures, 2) And the Dutch!!!
Oh shit, sorry. Didn’t mean to get in the way of your thread slaying enterprise…
WTF? It smells like stale farts in here, and it’s gotten really boring.
FWIW, I have a couple of new posts up, nothing as good as my 4th of July magnum dopus, but one of them is a comments out of context thread.
Not that anyone will read that shit or comment on it, but if you’re REALLY bored…just sayin’.
Not that anyone will read that shit or comment on it, but if you’re REALLY bored…just sayin’.
I’d be glad to go read your posts. Be right back.
Oh shit, sorry. Didn’t mean to get in the way of your thread slaying enterprise…
No worries, Chris. When I say that it’s just whining.
Here’s a really smelly 400th FART.
Yeah! All you people out Friday-nightin’ in bars & shit, get back here & start amusing us w/ your drunken buffoonery.
Bluntly telling a stripper that while her boobs are nice and big, they’re nowhere near as large or lovely as your wife’s will not necessarily dissuade her
But the wife will find it flattering.
1. Go frog gigging. 2. Skin the frog legs. 3. Salt ’em up, let the magic begin.
Are you guys saying F Art? Like ME, MYSELF, and “I.?”
Please wish ME a happy birthday on Redstateso that I know that I have the same legion of fans here as I have there!
That’s the least you can do on such an important day as September 3!
Soccer at the level most of us experience it
is a game for the children of NPR watching/listening snobs and castrati.
Or, more likely, for inner city kids of an ethnic background considered inappropriate by the good suburban white conservative community.
But sure. Inner city kids are the real elitists.
Or for girls. US Women’s is the best in the world. Oh yeah, I forgot that girls don’t count. Oops. Oops.
(psst: Mia Hamm can still kick your* ass. Cleats to the face ARE a bitch.)
*not you you, I mean the “soccer is elitist” douche
I was stunned. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen a journalist actually DO his/her job and make the reader/viewer face fucking REALITY instead of just cheerleading for the troops
I thought only BBC was allowed to do that?
Well, Maddow was mowing lawns before this teevee gig. I guess the free intern–fluffer–newsbunny track doesn’t produce Real Journalists™ after all.
actor, I totally couldn’t get commenting to work at your blog, but I thought you description of NFL football was great.
Although personally, I just couldn’t stand watching a “game” where somebody was always getting carted off in a stretcher. I mean every time! I got hurt a few times playing soccer as a kid, but not hurt like that.
Baseball and soccer for me.
Maddow is a butt nibbling lefty liberal. Best thing she ever did was make a fool of fools out of Dem candidate Hollis French when he questioned whether or not it would make an sense to fire a loose cannon on the AST.
Thank god for unions, we can keep the most corrupt of enforcement workers in place. I like it that way for preserving the power of the CBC.
Soccer is also the only sport in the world that has “hooligans”—proletarian mobs that trash private property whenever their team loses.
Proletarian mobs? Who the fuck talks like that?
More to the point, apparently they missed all the “basketball riots”, “baseball riots” etc over the last decade or so. Reporting on the basketball riots took on a certain racial tenor! But I can tell you as a Massachusiens of many years that UMass Amherst and Northeast University both had bad baseball-related riots, with property damages, assaults, and in one case, a fatality, and those kids were w h i t e. Paleface’s paleface. By which I mean Irish*. But I digress.
*I’m Irish so I can say it. Don’t talk shit about Irish, I’ll kick your motherfucking ass.
What?
I thought FYWP meant “fuck you white people”
psst, so did I, don’t tell anyone.
Car dealers are scum and killing our democracy. Shut em all down, like those fucking car companies sell to us direct.
No seriously, the dealers pay big change to pols to get them elected, then the pols give them a reacharound of favorable treatment under the law. We saw the bare knuckles during this last round, as politically connected dealerships got a “get out of being shut down free card”.
You know, if Verizon wanted to shut down a licensed Verizon dealer they’d be boarded up so fast you’d think they’d been condemned, but a GM dealership … a ha ha ha.
Another kickback… those fleet sales. The same ones that the car manufacturers lose money on… but they pump up the dealership’s #’s so they get a better price. Where I live the city only buys from ONE guy and they buy WHATEVER HE’S GOT. Oops, looks like your taxes are going up again.
I just couldn’t stand watching a “game” where somebody was always getting carted off in a stretcher.
It may be that hurling is not right for you.
Yes another reason that soccer is faggy and elitist:
http://www.cnn.com/2010/SPORT/football/07/09/prostitute.gallery/
Fucking World Cup tourists can’t even spend money on sex like regular people, and instead they’re spending it on CULTURAL INSTITUTIONS like museums.
Maybe it’s just me but wasn’t there a spate of RW spittle-spewing, concern-trolling blog posts about 6 weeks ago decrying the inherent evil in the World Cup if 40,000 prostitutes were going to come to South Africa for the World Cup.
Of course there is a historical precedent for stories about how the World Cup isn’t a boon for sex workers:
http://www.nytimes.com/2006/07/03/world/europe/03berlin.html
Fucking World Cup tourists can’t even spend money on sex like regular people, and instead they’re spending it on CULTURAL INSTITUTIONS like museums.
Sex v. cultural institutions = false dichotomy.
Welcome!
Yeah, I was wondering Tim and Eric would be funnier if I were high…or just scarier. I guess I may never know. *sigh*
I tried and tried to get into Metalocalypse and just couldn’t. It really bummed me about ‘cuz I’m a huge Brendon Small and H. Jon Benjamin fan. But it just never resonated with me. It didn’t have that good-natured goofy, insanely clever charm of Home Movies, which I maintain is one of the best shows ever on TV. EVER.
Oh, and since the thread is dyin’ I’m gonna do one last blog pimp before I ease up on the crass whoring. (You’ll miss it later! You will! *sniff*) Anway, out of the 20 million+ users at one of my gallery sites, I got a special shout-outtoday. It’s pretty cool.
Been manning a table at a rummage sale like a petulant teenager with Mr. T&U since 6:30. Now I’m hiding behind some bookcases because the sun is brutal. Please send iced coffee and/or mimosas.
And I missed the juggalo! Goddammit!
calibre97 said,
July 9, 2010 at 16:14
Interjection of teh seriussnessez for a moment.
3 rounds of interviews. Offer coming today?
Fingers crossed!
Crossed for ya. Good luck.
Oh, and since the thread is dyin’ I’m gonna do one last blog pimp before I ease up on the crass whoring. (You’ll miss it later! You will! *sniff*) Anway, out of the 20 million+ users at one of my gallery sites, I got a special shout-outtoday. It’s pretty cool.
YAY!
Thanks, Looch.
In a refreshing change of pace, I’m gonna acknowledge that OTHER people have things going on…my thoughts are with ya, calibre.
It’s raining now. I assume this means global wetting, no.
No?
Looch haz a code. Snot fun.
Sex v. cultural institutions = false dichotomy.
This is why N__B and Mrs __B are barred from the MMOA.
Although personally, I just couldn’t stand watching a “game” where somebody was always getting carted off in a stretcher.
In fairness, gator, most of those players are carted off under union rules, which state that even a hangnail is a cartable injury.