‘Cuz After I Eat A Chile Frito Pie,1 One Square Of TP Ain’t Enuf
Tim Slagle, who apparently claims to be a libertarian comedian2 — or more accurately a libertarian who claims to be a comedian — is over at Big Andy’s Hollywood Squares bringing down the house. Here’s a paraphrase:
“Hey, did you hear the one about Sheryl Crow and her advice that you can save the environment by only using on square of toilet paper? Well, now her roadies use rubber gloves when they have to touch her guitars! At home she rips pages out of books to wipe her butt. God, I’m funny. I just crack myself up! Seriously.”
But what’s really got Slagle going is this: an article in Elle with pictures of Sheryl Crow’s loft. It would be inappropriate not to speculate that Slagle was perusing Elle looking for good drag outfits for his next goat-blowing encounter. But, where was I? Oh, yes:
In the summer of 2007, Sheryl and alleged home-wrecker, Laurie David put together their Stop Global Warming Tour, consisting of a bus, several semi trucks and a private jet; caravanning across the nation, to tell college students to stop wasting energy. Of course, Crow and David weren’t hypocrites because the bus was fueled with leftover french-fry grease.
In the official press release they promised to encourage college students to “Simply Switch” to CFL light-bulbs. But what kind of bulbs does Sheryl use? Well this was a mystery, until she recently opened her apartment to Elle Magazine. Apparently Sheryy likes her apartment brighter than she is, and CFLs just don’t seem to do the trick.
Let’s start with the press release. Did Sheryl encourage every student to change all their lights to CFL, thereby making her a hypo-demolesbo-crit when she didn’t do the same herself? Sadly, No!
Philips has partnered with the Stop Global Warming Tour to support this national call-to-action. As part of the Philips “Simply Switch and Save” campaign, the company will offer every student who attends the tour a free compact fluorescent light (CFL) bulb, in an effort to motivate them to switch to more energy-efficient lighting options.“Sustainability is an integral part of Philips activities and we believe in adopting environmentally-friendly practices such as the Stop Global Warming College Tour,” says Paul Simonetti, Director, Brand Communications, Philips.
“By asking consumers to simply switch at least one traditional light bulb with a more energy-efficient one, together we can make a difference in the overall reduction of harmful greenhouse gas emissions and help make the world a more sustainable place to live.”
This, of course, should make it hard for Slagle’s claim of hypocrisy to stick unless the Elle spread shows every single light bulb in Crow’s loft and not one is a CFL. Undeterred Slagle slogs on:
In her “gallery-like hallway” there is a row of halogen bulbs alongside the right wall to illuminate her cultural appreciation.
Oddly, Slagle makes no about what might or might not be in the round light fixtures. Maybe because if they were CFLs that would make him look foolish or, at least, more foolish than usual.
In one photo, you can clearly see that the light bulb over her head has been photoshopped out, as if to say that she is out of ideas. It seems someone might have noticed the ideologically contradicting bulb after the photo shoot was completed.
Why did she let photographers take pictures of her light-bulbs in the first place? Either she was to dumb to realize the light bulbs would show, or she was too overwhelmed with vanity to care, when she was approached by Elle with the layout pitch. (Apparently vanity is more than just a bathroom fixture.)
Hmmm, I see a lightbulb, don’t you? Let’s see what this would look like with the light bulb photoshopped out:
Query: if the evil liberals at Elle were using their mad Photoshop skillz to protect Crow, why not just photoshop in a CFL? It’s not like that would be so hard.
In the photo of her bathroom, you can clearly see an incandescent light over her sink … .
Slagle, who’s been too busy talking about Crowe wiping her butt with book pages, hasn’t done enough research to discover that there are plenty of globe-shaped CFLs. So you can’t really say for sure that this fixture has an incandescent bulb or a CFL but, were I to guess, the thicker base makes it look like a CFL to me.
Next up: Slagle will claim that Crow is a hypocrite because she exhales carbon dioxide when she sings and that she has some clothes that were made with electrically powered sewing machines.
1Cf. (“But when they came for my pimento cheese, my oyster po’boy, my Frito chili pie, I could say nothing, for there was no one else left to speak.”)
2In case you are struggling to figure out what a libertarian comedian might think is funny (as was I) here are a few ideas of what might be in Slagle’s stand-up libertarian comedy routine:
How many libertarians does it take to change a light bulb?
One, as long as there is no government involvement
Ca-ca-ca-ching!
Q: Why do libertarians shun bag and instant teas, proclaiming the superiority of real loose leaf teas?
A: They believe in proper tea.
Wah, wah, wah, wah!
Billy Bob Thornton in “I Won’t Do That: The Meat Loaf Story”.
In Russia, CFL illuminates YOU!
Oh, wait. Needs work, I admit.
How about:
In Russia, YOU illuminate CFL bulb!
Someone is stealing jokes from my “REJECTED” file.
“…my ‘REJECTED’ file.”
“Muh government’s too big.
…
Muh GOVERNMENT is too BIG!”
libertarian comedian
This is redundant. It’s like saying stupid conservative. It says the same thing twice, also.
Do you have to dress in drag to blow a goat? It seems like an odd rule…
Sheryl Crowe’s light bulbs…tGraeme Frost’s parents’ granite counter tops…
These people are the scum of the earth. Truly. Assuming they’ve never committed actual crimes against persons or property (in which case
they’re common criminals), they are simply the dregs of our public life. There is literally nothing too petty, too contrived, and too pathetic for them to point at and shriek at in pumped up indignation.
We are dealing here, not with “differing political opinions” or “spokesmen for the other side,” but the creeps and misfits and gnarled mutants of the absolute fringe, who by virtue of the polish and scope of the Internet–thanks to which, everything looks “published” and reaches an audience of millions– present themselves and their frothings as being on a par with legitimate public discussions.
Tintin deserves the Distinguished Mental Service Cross for exposing himself (I assume it’s “him”) to this excrescence and making deserved fun of him for the public weal. As long as the Internet brings us these puffed up morons and strutting mediocrities, we need sites like this to neutralize them.
Do you have to dress in drag to blow a goat?
According to a friend, the goats seem to respond in a more favorable way. I wouldn’t know, however.
Well, he did say he was a comedian, and I am laughing at him. I don’t think this laughter means what you think it does Schmagle.
Maybe it’s just me, but I really can’t see a standup routine featuring a slide show of Sheryl Crow’s light fixtures being a big hit. Well, maybe on Leno.
“But when they came for my pimento cheese, my oyster po’boy, my Frito chili pie, I could say nothing, for there was no one else left to speak.
“Plus my mouth was, like, way full. The goat had stopped by…”
Ok, let’s caption the pic:
“Yeah, bitches. You know you want some of this…”
(Still trying to look sexy and not insane for the camera)
OMFG I JUST SAT ON A THUMBTACK–HOLY SHIT
“Check out muh soul patch. This is for tickling balls….SHIT did I just say that out loud? I meant look cool!”
After Tim Slagle shaves his head, he and Gordon Liddy will be pals.
~
I got your photoshopped lightbulb right here!
Sorry libruls, the Great Light Bulb Scandal done discredited allayuz.
Sorry libruls, the Great Light Bulb Scandal done discredited allayuz.
Damn. I guess they were right all along. Does this mean I don’t get my pony?
Check out muh soul patch.
I believe that to be the tail of a ferret that has crawled into his mouth for warmth. Perhaps that is how his species incubates their young.
René François Ghislain Magritte was a drunken frite…
~
Um….maybe she’s using LEDs.
It’s just farmyard humor. Two cocks, hippocracy…and the goats of course.
Her art gallery’s halogen bulbs are likely 12 volt bulbs, which seriously saves on electrical consumption.
But he’s an idiot.
I love these assholes who are so anti-environmentalist, that they don’t even like the idea of spending less on their electric bill.
And hey schmoo – nice soul patch.
I think he should do as Adam Yoshida does – he should turn on all the lights in his house and burn them 24/7. That’ll show us.
Know how to drive a librul crazy? Put them in a round room and tell them there’s a government hand out in the corner.
HAHAHAHA
OKOKOK, know how to make an environmentalist crazy? Put them in a round room and tell them there’s a polar bear cub to save in the corner!
BWAHAHAHAHA. I KILL ME!!! I got a million of them!
Like do you know how to put a feminist in a corner? Put her in a round room and … um… tell her she is crazy!!!
Wait, I don’t think that right…I meant, “because she is so stupid!”
HAHAHA… why isn’t anyone laughing? What, did I “cross too many boundaries”? Too “edgy” for you stupid libruls. yeah, I’m outa here, losers.
“my Frito chili pie…”
As a Texan for nearly five years, I can authoritatively say this is a fail for the guy that Powerline quotes. It’s just Frito pie. Calling it Frito chili pie is akin to saying rootbeer float with ice cream.
I like where he calls Sheryl Crow a “one hit wonder.” One of the most well-known and well-loved American singers we have, and the cumtard is completely oblivious.
Not only is Slagle a zany, rib-tickling comedian, he’s also an expert on energy policy. You probably never realized how wonderful petroleum is.
In Soviet Russia, lightbulb wastes your electricity. No, still not right.
Close the door & the light stays on!!
The credibility of the theory of anthropogenic global climate change depends on Cheryl Crow not using incandescent light bulbs….and on Al Gore not being a mad sex poodle.
I won’t use caged lightbulbs. Let them be free!!!
He got douche face.
But what kind of bulbs does Sheryl use? Well this was a mystery
A mystery, that is, to anyone who is unable to Google it.
So, who thinks that “libertardian” is much funnier than “libtard”?
(I mean, “libtard” is kinda strained. In “libertardian,” you just add one letter.)
You, Sir (Madam?!?), will be receiving a laundry bill, for the cleaning of my keyboard, into which I spitted coffee on/into.
Dude. Wash your hair before the photo shoot.
his species incubates their young
Still waiting for tsam to complain about the singular / plural clash.
Nah, the goats don’t care how you’re dressed.
Who told cuntface that a chin Brazilian was a good idea?
And just because Orly Taitz got four times as many votes as me doesn’t mean she’s four times more popular than me. It’s just a coincidence that I plan to make Barack Obama’s foreign birth the central issue of my next run for public office.
Roasted Jazz Song wyrm with Crushed Pistachios
Ingredients:
1 pinch song wyrm
6 bags pistachio
1 sweetened condensed milk
2 tablespoons hollow dog toe
3 jars cocoa
5 gallons garlic
Begin praying. Cream the song wyrm with a small garlic press. Mash the pistachio with the sweetened condensed milk over low heat in a skillet. Slather resulting goo over the song wyrm. Pickle the hollow dog toe, cocoa, and the garlic. Spread the latter combination on to the former. Roast for 122 minutes. Serves 6 infantile enemies with nuclear stomachs.
Begin praying.
How I start every meal I cook. Especially the ones I cook for money.
You know, when I saw that picture, I thought this was going to be about some musician doing something dumb. It looks like the cover of the worst nu-metal album of 1995. (Not to imply that there were any good ones.)
Hey y’all! Why did the libertarian cross the road?
Just wonderin’.
Well, I don’t know that I’d go so far as to say “one of the most…”, but she has had a damn good run.
Of course, even if she were a “one hit wonder” she’d still have one more hit than he ever will.
Also, are we sure that’s not a picture of Scott Stapp’s fluffer? I’m just sayin’.
The Market!
Nice libs, you seem to have an excuse for each one of her light bulbs. Halogens are more efficient than incandescents, they make globe CFL’s, she could have LED bulbs installed, &c. &c.
Well then, how do you explain this photo then? What is Mariska Hargitay doing over at Sheryl Crow’s loft? Both of them barefoot and smiling huge post-coital grins? What the heck is going on between those two and where’s the video? I’m not saying that the two of them were necessarily engaged in some hot torrid lesbian sex, but it would be irresponsible not to speculate. In fact, I’ll be speculating about that for the rest of the day.
Confusious say- He who wipe with one square like to wear brown fingernail polish.
Somehow I get the idea that perhaps Ms. Crow is not disclosing her use of this butthole cleanng accessory either.
So. He’s still pissed about something a “one hit wonder” did three years ago. And he reads Elle magazine*.
That’s some sad shit right there.
*There is no excuse for anyone of any gender or orientation to read Elle. Ever.
Getting off the boat it’s nice to see that slegle has cleaned up, suited up and is now ready for his wingnut welfare check. That’s some rugged independence you’re showing there Men’s-Warehouse-boy.
Someone should probably replace the dim bulb pictured at the top of this post.
Also, inre the first link, Denis Leary is a libertarian? But firefighters are big government socialism!
All proper tea is theft.
How many libertarians does it take to change a light bulb?
None, if the lightbulb needed changing the market would have done it already.
Denis Leary is a libertarian?
Comedy is theft.
“When Kurt Cobain got tired of making liberal fag music and decided to grow a douche patch and get into ‘comedy'”
If Sheryl Crow is a hypocrite, then I am forced to conclude that global warming is a hoax.
Presumably a “libertarian comedian” is a comedian who witholds his productiveteh, and on that measure the reliably unfunny work of Tim Slagle is pitch perfect.
Also, none of the lightbulbs in those pictures is turned on. Zero electricity use.
Is it just me, or does “slagle” sound like some sort of repulsive bodily excretion?
Also, too, I know everyone else has already pointed this out, but there are CFLs and LEDs that can replace halogens and are in the FUCKING SHAPE OF LIGHTBULBS, JACKASS. If he’d watched “This Old House Hour” last night, he would have known that!
I suppose it was either write this or masturbate to interspecies furry pr0n for the fifth time that day. Personally, I think his time was poorly spent.
Furthermore, y’all, surely there’s some sort of law akin to Godwin applying to when these motherfuckers start pulling out the whole “First they came…” bullshit.
It’s also funny how they conveniently forget the fact that the first two lines mention communists and trade unionist, but, uh, whatever…
If he’d watched “This Old House Hour” last night, he would have known that!
Only homos watch “This Old House.”
He was reading Elle.
First they came for the question marks!
Only homos watch “This Old House.”
He was reading Elle.
I’m an unabashed femme with a secret love for dumb women’s magazines, and even *I* don’t read that hunk of shit.
In Soviet Russia, you for come they first.
Next thing you know she’ll be lighting her house with Al Gore! Hyuk hyuk!
At least it wasn’t Cosmo, I guess. I’d rather not think about him looking for “sex tips” like “Wrap a scrunchie around your man’s balls to rock his world!”
(I did not make that up).
They can have my question mark when they pry it off of my cold dead keyboard.
I don’t read Cosmo, I just look at the pictures in the supermarket checkout lane — for purposes of media criticism only, I would remind you.
I don’t read Cosmo, I just look at the pictures in the supermarket checkout lane — for purposes of media criticism only, I would remind you.
Whatever. You totally want to know the 10 things your gyno won’t tell you about what’s going on “down there.”
Diss Cosmo all you want, but I have to say that any magazine that keeps millions of soccer moms obsessed about sex and suggests things to do to make
mehim enjoy it more can’t be all bad.That scrunchie thing? Don’t knock till you’ve tried it.
Hey y’all! Why did the libertarian cross the road?
Just wonderin’.
To complain about unnecessary government intrusion in the private sphere!
I had no idea Cosmo’s sex tips were so lame. Another morsel of alluring mystery has vanished from my world.
Diss Cosmo all you want, but I have to say that any magazine that keeps millions of soccer moms obsessed about sex and suggests things to do to make me him enjoy it more can’t be all bad.
In my experience, nobody over the age of 22 actually reads it, but I could be wrong.
That scrunchie thing? Don’t knock till you’ve tried it.
I haven’t owned a scrunchie since 1996. I’ll just stick with the cock ring, thanks.
I had no idea Cosmo’s sex tips were so lame.
It’s true. Under a headline like “10 Ways to Drive Him Wild in Bed!!!” you might find the advice “touch his penis.”
Or so I’ve heard.
I mean, at *most* you might get, “Find the male g-spot!” but with no crazy butt business, because that’s just WRONG.
It would be inappropriate not to speculate that Slagle was perusing Elle looking for good drag outfits for his next goat-blowing encounter.
That would explain the soul patch: he forgot to wipe his chin.
Her “halogen” fixtures could be LEDs.
In my experience, nobody over the age of 22 actually reads it, but I could be wrong.
WTF is wrong with kids these days? I can’t believe anyone under the age of 22 would bother with Cosmo – geez, they got better things to be doing, like nothing.
Anyways, I envisaged the average Cosmo reader as some middle-aged mom who has sublimated all her personal needs and desires for the sake family and just recently discovered that you could have sex on a day other than Wednesday. Those women need love too. Or if not love, at least something slightly different than missionary with the lights off. And if that means that wearing some frilly elastic around my balls- uh I mean his balls – makes her confident enough to try reverse cowgirl, why the heck not?
discover that there are plenty of globe-shaped CFLs.
When I was in Key West last week, sitting poolside, I chanced to use the lav.
Look, I’d been drinking. STOP JUDGING ME!
Anyway, the lights seemed kind of dim when I first turned them on but they brightened considerably. I thought I’d taken my sunglasses off but no, it was the bulbs, which looked incandescent but if you looked NOT CAREFULLY AT ALL, were bulb-shaped glass domes with the screw-shaped CFC bulb inside.
That was the first time I’d seen those, and I made a mental note to buy some. I’ll need them in about fifteen years when my current CFCs wear out.
Of course, I meant “CFL” not CFC. I have ozone on my mind.
“Muh government’s too big.
…
Muh GOVERNMENT is too BIG!”
It’s all in the emPHAsis.
sublimated all her personal needs and desires for the sake family and just recently discovered that you could have sex on a day other than Wednesday. Those women need love too.
That’s almost word-for-word the sales pitch your mom uses.
SRSLY, sure Cosmo ain’t cutting edge or even interesting or even mildly entertaining even in unintentional ways – but a magazine aimed at suburban housewives that normalizes blow jobs? Yeoman’s work that is – and us folks who fuck mothers… uh I mean, and their husbands really appreciate it.
Diss Cosmo all you want, but I have to say that any magazine that keeps millions of soccer moms obsessed about sex
How is mom these days?
I know how she is these nights 😉
WTF is wrong with kids these days? I can’t believe anyone under the age of 22 would bother with Cosmo – geez, they got better things to be doing, like nothing.
Well, it’s been a while since I’ve been that age, but seriously, the only people I’ve ever seen reading it were high school girls who were just starting to have sex or wanted to look like they were having sex.
Anyways, I envisaged the average Cosmo reader as some middle-aged mom who has sublimated all her personal needs and desires for the sake family and just recently discovered that you could have sex on a day other than Wednesday. Those women need love too. Or if not love, at least something slightly different than missionary with the lights off. And if that means that wearing some frilly elastic around my balls- uh I mean his balls – makes her confident enough to try reverse cowgirl, why the heck not?
Fuck, Oprah’s magazine does that. And it has recipes!
Well, it’s been a while since I’ve been that age
*raising eyebrow*
You make it sounds like eons…
Something I noticed about men’s magazines and women’s magazines…which is why I read neither: Women’s mags are (or were) all about pleasing men; men’s magazines are all about pleasing men. WTF?
You make it sounds like eons…
I do find myself saying “Kids these days!” quite a bit. It’s like my husband’s 18-year-old cousin is a fucking mutant or some shit. I don’t get it.
Women’s mags are (or were) all about pleasing men; men’s magazines are all about pleasing men. WTF?
We’re important. Deal with it.
VS, men can’t take care of themselves. We all know that.
It’s like my husband’s 18-year-old cousin is a fucking mutant or some shit.
Does she have nice tits? Can you post photos?
Oprah’s magazine is called Fuck? And it has recipes? Bet it’s not in too many checkout aisles.
Still waiting for tsam to complain about the singular / plural clash.
Mental note–don’t bitch about your stupid little pet peeves that really don’t matter to a bunch of snarkmonkies..
What is he saying now?
Sorry. Forgot. You want pickles on your sammich?
Women’s mags are (or were) all about pleasing men; men’s magazines are all about pleasing men. WTF?
I’ve noticed that it’s getting better. I’ve seen tips in men’s magazines about how to sex a woman properly, and even Cosmo focuses on women’s pleasure during sex a lot of the time.
I just look at the pretty pictures, anyway.
Does she have nice tits? Can you post photos?
I really wish there was a way to punch through the internet.
And it’s a dude, dude.
Something I noticed about men’s magazines and women’s magazines…which is why I read neither: Women’s mags are (or were) all about pleasing men; men’s magazines are all about pleasing men. WTF?
Well, if you women would just please the men, there’d be no need for these magazines, right?
This literally made me LOL. Something about the idea of Oprah starting a hardcore porn mag just makes me giggle.
What is he saying now?
Nothing. He’s just a mutant.
This literally made me LOL. Something about the idea of Oprah starting a hardcore porn mag just makes me giggle.
And she would STILL be on every cover!
I like the look on Schmagel’s face. He’s either been stoned for a week in the last hour, or seducin’ the ladies–allright. Giggity.
You got me there. Clearly we all just need to try harder.
Still better than being a zombie. *looks around*
You got me there. Clearly we all just need to try harder.
We would starve and fall off of stuff if you women weren’t around. So, hey, need a jar opened or a couch moved or something?
You got me there. Clearly we all just need to try harder.
And faster, and maybe a little bit to the left.
*laughing and not wanting to picture at the same time*
*laughing and not wanting to picture at the same time*
Why do you think she’s always smiling on the cover of O magazine?
Or why they call it “O Magazine” in the first place?
LOL!
But you can check this out. I think it just screams “tsam.” 😉
VPR
Why do you think she’s always smiling on the cover of O magazine?
Oh, that’s because she’s just finished counting her take-home.
But really, you’ve seen one magazine you’ve seen them all.
And it’s a dude, dude.
So there ARE penis pix floating around on someone’s cell phone!
We do have Poopyanus to think about, too!
And she would STILL be on every cover!
Um. Spewwwwwwww!
Still better than being a zombie. *looks around*
And they call me “hater”.
Still better than being a zombie. *looks around*
THAT’S who Slagle looks like! Zombie Kurt Cobain!
You guys might want to be nicer to Slagle; he may end up giving the commencement speech at Beck U.
Pryme, get out of my head! I was just about to read that!
Or at least dust the bookshelves…
Why is Zombie Kurt Cobain a Libertarian Comedian
I see somebody narrowly beat me on the Zombie Cobain angle, consarnit
actor: Hey, it’s only $9.95/month; can Harvard beat that? I don’t think so.
I see somebody narrowly beat me on the Zombie Cobain angle, consarnit
Sorry about occupying your head, but Pryme is squatting in mine, so I have to live SOMEwhere.
actor: Hey, it’s only $9.95/month; can Harvard beat that? I don’t think so.
I think Beck U is a good thing. It gives us one more euphemism for “Fuck You”
“HEY! YOU CUT ME OFF!”
“AY! BECK U, man!
That would explain the soul patch
I still prefer the term “chin Brazilian” and I’m disappointed it didn’t catch on.
Isn’t there an episode of Law & Order: SVU where someone who looks uncannily like Slagle takes an inordinate interest in the interior of some rock star’s apartment? And then Mariska Hartigay looks horrified in a really restrained way, and then Vincent D’Onofrio gets right in the guy’s face in the interrogation room, and… wait–oh, dang it, I’m gettin’ my shows mixed up, he’s in the other one, isn’t he?
Well, maybe Big Vince could just tool up on the guy for a couple of hours before he tells him that he’s really just an actor, not a cop. That would be cool.
I still prefer the term “chin Brazilian” and I’m disappointed it didn’t catch on.
Ah, I’m sorry, I meant to say that it’s genius!
That truly is an insult to Cobain, BTW. I think he looks like Fred Durst’s even douchier younger brother.
Ah the “Chin Brazillian” is like Spock with a goatee
I still prefer the term “chin Brazilian” and I’m disappointed it didn’t catch on.
That implies an erotic zone.
You really have erotic thoughts about him?
Now you know why it went over like a led balloon.
Now you know why it went over like a led balloon.
Just remember kiddies: you can lead a balloon to water, but you can’t make it lead.
Mallard Fillmore said,
July 2, 2010 at 4:02 (kill)
Someone is stealing jokes from my “REJECTED” file.
OUCH.
That implies an erotic zone.
Not necessarily. After all, calling someone a “dickface” or a “pussie” does not imply an erotic zone. So therefore “chin Brazillian” obviously implies that the guy plays soccer with his chin and you should feel free to “get a boot in” any chance you get.
I still prefer the term “chin Brazilian” and I’m disappointed it didn’t catch on.
That implies an erotic zone.
Well, look where the “landing strip” is.
Um….maybe she’s using LEDs.
Yeah, it’s not like she couldn’t afford them. I’d say he’s surprisingly ignorant to be spouting off so magisterially, but I’m not actually surprised.
Libertarians are the least humorous people on Earth.
Buhbye Brazil!
But you can check this out. I think it just screams “tsam.” 😉
Oh god, does it ever. You’re so good.
Well, look where the “landing strip” is.
Y’know, that may be the first time I’ve seen a Brazilian leading to a rectum.
“But you can check this out. I think it just screams “tsam.” 😉
Oh god, does it ever. You’re so good.”
I don’t even pay him, folks. (At least not for the compliments.)
I don’t even pay him, folks. (At least not for the compliments.)
*so that’s why my tip bounced!*
“*so that’s why my tip bounced!*”
VPR
Fuck, y’all. How did I forget how to use a dictation transcriber?
How did I forget how to use a dictation transcriber?
Distracted a little?
Distracted a little?
I think it’s more that I haven’t used one in three years and that knowledge has been replaced with something, like, useful.
I mean, seriously. If my mortal enemy can do it, then surely I can. I’m just having trouble remembering how to use the foot pedal thingy.
Presumably a “libertarian comedian” is a comedian who witholds his productiveteh, and on that measure the reliably unfunny work of Tim Slagle is pitch perfect.
He’s gone Galt on teh funny.
I still prefer the term “chin Brazilian” and I’m disappointed it didn’t catch on.
It caught on. I went for soul patch early on for the irony of a guy having a soul patch, yet having no soul. I figure the only possible use for it is to tickle the bag when goat gets all the way in.
*so that’s why my tip bounced!*
Remember, when using the landig strip you want runway 18 not runway 36.
I think it’s more that I haven’t used one in three years and that knowledge has been replaced with something, like, useful.
I was rooting thru a closet at work…STOP JUDGING ME!…and found the following items:
A manual typewriter
A dictabelt
A steno machine
I swear, if I didn’t need a building pass to get the shit out, I would have sold them as relics on eBay. I haven’t used any of that stuff in, well, since before you were born.
He’s gone Galt on teh funny.
And the winner…for Today’s Funniest Comment…the envelope please?
I was rooting thru a closet at work…STOP JUDGING ME!…and found the following items:
A manual typewriter
A dictabelt
A steno machine
Andrew Breitbart
I knew it.
I swear, if I didn’t need a building pass to get the shit out, I would have sold them as relics on eBay. I haven’t used any of that stuff in, well, since before you were born.
I know what you mean–when I was in high school, the class was still called typing, and we thought we were just hours away from flying cars since our all new typewriters were electric AND had correction built in.
I was rooting thru a closet at work…STOP JUDGING ME!…and found the following items:
I don’t even know what a dictabelt *is*.
My boss doesn’t dictate letters, like, ever. She hardly ever writes them, and it’s just as fast for her to type them. Also, we’ve tried to tell this guy that he can record stuff on his iPhone and just send an audio file, but he refuses to do that.
And the winner…for Today’s Funniest Comment…the envelope please?
Hold on–late entry:
A manual typewriter
A dictabelt
A steno machine
Andrew Breitbart
Perfect tie in with old shit that nobody wants…
Oh, we used to have a couple of typewriters around here somewhere…I’m not sure where they went. This woman who retired a couple of years ago still had one in her office next to her computer. She actually used it!
I don’t even know what a dictabelt *is*.
My etchings. Let me show them to you.
A dictabelt is to your transcriber what 8 track tapes were to your iPod.
I’ll bet Ayn Rand didn’t even NEED stinkin’ lightbulbs. She lit up rooms with her sheer brilliance.
My boss doesn’t dictate letters, like, ever. She hardly ever writes them, and it’s just as fast for her to type them. Also, we’ve tried to tell this guy that he can record stuff on his iPhone and just send an audio file, but he refuses to do that.
I have two bosses that still struggle with attaching a file to an email. It becomes maddening at times. Converting editable documents to pdf’s also knocks the wheels offa their wagons.
She lit up rooms with her sheer brilliance.
“It was a dark and stormy room…”
“It was a dark and stormy room…”
It was clear and bright until she took off her underwear.
I’ll bet Ayn Rand didn’t even NEED stinkin’ lightbulbs. She lit up rooms with her sheer brilliance.
Gassy smoker.
Oh, we used to have a couple of typewriters around here somewhere…I’m not sure where they went. This woman who retired a couple of years ago still had one in her office next to her computer. She actually used it!
We still use one occasionally here as well. You can tell by the sounds…
Whump whumpwhump whump “FUCK!” Chickinga chicinga (correction sounds) whump whump “goddammit you motherfucker!” rip, crumple….
Typewriters are awesome.
“tsam said,
July 2, 2010 at 17:22
And the winner…for Today’s Funniest Comment…the envelope please?
Hold on–late entry:”
Thank you, kind sir. *curtsies*
Typewriters are awesome.
I keep trying to hit “ctrl+Z”
*curtsies*
Please to lift skirt higher next time.
Fuckin typewriters, how do they work?
No, really.
Why is there a picture of a sewer rat up there?
The point of the curtsy is not to show off my legs. 😉
Laughter is theft.
Why did the Libertarian cross the road?
To whine at the next toll-booth worker.
Lightbulb Truthers 4 Freedom – because DijonGate is just so 2008 now, darling.
The point of the curtsy is not to show off my legs. 😉
Which is why your skirt must go higher.
I call Fabio Melo in the death pool. And good riddance Brazil, the Yankees of futbol fascism.
I keep trying to hit “ctrl+Z”
It won’t come undone,
I didn’t mean to press that key,
Scuze my finger, it slipped you see,
It was too late
It won’t undo
No matter how much I hit Ctrl-Z
That typo it just stays you see
It was too late
It was too late
I typed too far
I’m pissed off too
It won’t undo
I just wanted
To fill out this stupid form
I only have the one copy
And now it’s too late….
Too many boxes that need to be filled with type
Fill your name out here – as D-K Wangchucj
Too many places I wish I could just copy-paste
Too many lives to lead and not enough time
It’s too late
I’ve thrown the thing
Across the room
And now the ribbon…
She’s come undone.
I’m a fucking muse!
Why did the Libertarian cross the road?
To catch the city bus so he can deposit his Social Security check.
I’m a fucking muse!
You constantly inspire me to… aw, fuck!
Chairman of the wingnuts.
Are we doing a death pool for this guy? If so my money’s on auto-erotic asphyxiation
in a run-down Motel 6.
Chairman of the wingnuts.
Right turn, Clyde.
Chairman of the wingnuts.
I don–
I….I….
I’m stunned into silence. Afghanistan was Obama’s war of choice????
Fuck, even I supported aggression against the Afghans after 9/11. Why does Steele hate America so????
Well, I fucked the letter up by, like, formatting it properly anyway.
Isn’t this this the point Steele is supposed to be attacked on ‘Nightly News’ about his traitor status for criticizing the POTUS’s WAR statergery?
..this was a war of Obama’s choosing.
Serves the bastard right for running for President!
Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?
Next up: Slagle will claim that Crow is a hypocrite because she exhales carbon dioxide when she sings and that she has some clothes that were made with electrically powered sewing machines.
But of course, Crow only told college kids to skip ONE exhalation, so it’s totes OK that she breathes.
Are we doing a death pool for this guy? If so my money’s on auto-erotic asphyxiation in a run-down Motel 6.
“Just For Men” transdermal head poisoning.
Trick question! In the absence of government nobody built a road.
Bill Kristol calls out Michael Steele for being mistaken.
If Rush Limbaugh has been married four times, then I am forced to conclude that he is a babe-magnet.
Trick question! In the absence of government nobody built a road.
Oh now that is just a myth. Libertarinas want government.
But it has to be one that recognizes their special qualifications.
DILFs?
Bill Kristol calls out Michael Steele for being mistaken.
Proving that even a blind squirrel can find a nut.
But it has to be one that recognizes their special qualifications.
Helmet and short bus. We get it.
This update should come as no surprise.
http://tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com/2010/07/flashback-steele-calls-afghanistan-a-war-we-have-to-win.php?ref=fpblg
Melo will be done in by assassin monkeys disguised as butlers.
But it has to be one that recognizes their special qualifications.
I see those short buses all over my town. What are they bitching about?
Boy that Steele sure is dumb. You can flop on anything as a Repuke, EXCEPT for killing people. That topic is not negotiable. You blew it, dude. Maybe the DLC has an opening for you.
Awesome.
Your tenure has of course been marked by gaffes and embarrassments, but I for one have never paid much attention to them, and have never thought they would matter much to the success of the causes and principles we share. But now you have said, about the war in Afghanistan, speaking as RNC chairman at an RNC event, “Keep in mind again, federal candidates, this was a war of Obama’s choosing. This was not something that the United States had actively prosecuted or wanted to engage in.” And, “if [Obama] is such a student of history, has he not understood that you know that’s the one thing you don’t do, is engage in a land war in Afghanistan?”
Shorter Kristol; I don’t care if you say dumb shit, but when you try to take away my favoritest fap material, we got problems, ni…I mean, Mr.
I see those short buses all over my town. What are they bitching about?
They are qualified for a really long bus.
They are qualified for a really long bus.
The long ones are for getting to school. Clearly, this is not where any Glibertarian has boldly gone before. I can’t imagine them starting now.
Q: If Libertarians strongly believe the ultimate arbiter of real worth is market success, why do they usually give away their opinions?
A: They believe even more strongly in free dumb.
Should I be worried that Bill “Never met an issue he wasn’t wrong about” Kristol and I agree on this?
No, no. Not the Long Buses! The Really Long Buses!
A thought experiment: you are locked in a room with Bill Kristol. There is no food or water in it. After a day passes, Bill Kristol says a meal would be nice. Are you not, then, FORCED TO AGREE WITH BILL KRISTOL?!?!?!?
Subby, you should have a syndicated advice column.
Should I be worried that Bill “Never met an issue he wasn’t wrong about” Kristol and I agree on this?
I was thinking the same thing. Though it is possible that my psychotic break is imminent, though.
A thought experiment: you are locked in a room with Bill Kristol. There is no food or water in it. After a day passes, Bill Kristol says a meal would be nice. Are you not, then, FORCED TO AGREE WITH BILL KRISTOL?!?!?!?
I’m pretty sure Kristol would have already mentioned cannibalism.
FTFY.
Well sure! After all, as The Charmian Of The Board himself said with his bare naked face hanging out, the GOP wanted to “use other means to engage with Afghanistan” (possibly including prurient interpersonal activity involving homemade apple cider, Snugglies & some old Linda Ronstadt CDs by candlelight) because “facts are wonderful things” when you just make up your own!
It cuts off before he said “Wheeeeeeee!” but I’m assuming that’s how he wrapped it up.
Michael Steele: Winning America’s War On Drugs One Bag Of Meth At A Time!
THOUGH!
Michael Steele: Winning America’s War On Drugs One Bag Of Meth At A Time!
+1
Have you guys seen the jobs report yet? Eeeeeesh.
Should I be worried that Bill “Never met an issue he wasn’t wrong about” Kristol and I agree on this?
I think this is a case where we can say “Steele is SOOOOOOooo wrong that even Kristol can see it”.
Smart folks read Roy being mean to Jonah. Dumb folks might too, but they get upset.
Smart folks read Roy being mean to Jonah. Dumb folks might too, but they get upset.
Jonah’s first sentence: “It is a good rule of thumb not to speak ill of the dead.”
Dude. You have a job? Writing??
Jonah’s first sentence: “It is a good rule of thumb not to speak ill of the dead.”
Of course, that’s still not as bad as speaking dead of the ill.
Appears that Slagle’s look went for supervillain and got lost at ’90s doofus.
Jonah’s second sentence:
Thus spake Zarathustra’s ape.
It’s a little bit funny watching these dumbass conservatives tap dance in the minefield. You can sense that they long for the old Byrd, the KKK member, and deplore the fact that he later renounced being fucking moron. I have mixed feelings about it myself, I hate to forgive people for ever having been involved in shit like that, but then some credit is due for a person being self aware enough to allow that sort of awakening to happen.
Appears that Slagle’s look went for supervillain and got lost at ’90s doofus.
Nickleback called. They want their lead singer’s body back.
Okay, Bloody Bill can be right once without a ginormous black hole swallowing up the entire galaxy. I guess.
After all, he did manage to reference some sort of nonexistent shit,
So there’s some humor value.
But what to do when a man is celebrated beyond the limits of decorum or common sense?
For starters we could change DCA’s official name back to Washington National Airport. Or maybe we could rename it after Byrd.
Nickleback called. They want their lead singer’s body back.
The HELL you say!
common sense
I don’t think this means what you think it does, Jonah.
I’m prettier than that guy up top, right?
Gee, I couldn’t say.
Hrrmmm. LIer beated me.
Nickleback called. They want their lead singer’s body back.
I’m pretty sure he’s digested it by now.
Should I be worried that Bill “Never met an issue he wasn’t wrong about” Kristol and I agree on this?
You agree for wildly different reasons- you want an ultimate end to the repressive, terrorist-harboring regime, he just wants more dead brown people.
It’s like I’m Jane Hamsher and Bill’s Grover Norquist.
You agree for wildly different reasons- you want an ultimate end to the repressive, terrorist-harboring regime, he just wants more dead brown people.
*whew*
So we can disagree to agree. You found the loophole.
I’m just having trouble remembering how to use the foot pedal thingy.
The pedals are for roll, the wheel is for yaw.
Or maybe the other way around…use the “guess and fix” method.
Or maybe the other way around…use the “guess and fix” method.
I see an infomercial for the Captain Sully School of Flying in your future.
Check this out. I love the cleverness of the “no selfishness” people.
The original signs needed question marks added.
After all, he did manage to reference some sort of nonexistent shit,
So there’s some humor value.
It’s also a re-affirmation that even when Kristol is right (which is a rare occurence, coming around about as often as the Harmonic Convergence or Halley’s Comet), he still manages to be wrong.
All lawns were watered as per government rules. GO REBELS!
I like how the film shows the “no socialism” sign juxtaposed with the public street. Wingnuts is so stupid.
All lawns were watered as per government rules.
With water from their private wells, I hope.
They really are. But I find the story ultimately heartening because the little “no selfishness” signs are just a perfect response: quiet, classy, yet biting. BTW, could I get a link to the film? I was Googling the MSNBC story and couldn’t seem to find it.
I’m sensing a great opportunity for a door to door shit-moat salesman.
Here’s a bit of funneh – that one square of TP thing? Read it for yourself:
Libertarian comedian has difficulty recognizing joke. News at 9.
Extra bonus irony. I assume that Ms. Crow relayed that anecdote in part to raise awareness of how much toilet paper gets used – i.e. up from zero. Teh ensuing LoLler-storm probably actually helped in that goal. There’s even a Wall Street Journal op-ed taking the question seriously. Thus Slagle’s “mocking” of the whole one square thing really only furthers teh ebil Environmentalist plot of giving a bit of thought to how much of the world’s resources we are willing to literally flush down the toilet.
Also, POOP.
Still, Sheryl Crow is a hypocrite unless she releases those videos of her and Mariska Hargity.
They really are. But I find the story ultimately heartening because the little “no selfishness” signs are just a perfect response: quiet, classy, yet biting. BTW, could I get a link to the film? I was Googling the MSNBC story and couldn’t seem to find it.
I saw the film on your link…? The lower of the two photos is actually a little movie.
Libertarian comedian has difficulty recognizing joke.
Also, as unfunny as she was in that piece, the libertarian comedian still somehow managed to be less funny than the “one hit wonder” country music singer. That’s gotta sting.
And, really, toilet paper isn’t only bad for the environment in a myriad of ways–it’s also led to the displacement of poor subsistence farmers. We really should at least admit that we’re causing a fair amount of suffering just to wipe our asses conveniently and it’s kind of fucked up.
It’s tired of this enviro-purity trolling. Sounds like a version of “Mommy! But Bobby did it tooooooo!!!”
Also, if John Edwards starting nagging us about global warming with his million+ new mansion, I might be annoyed. Al Gore, who fucking inherited that shit, not so much. Actually, it all makes sense psychologically. Edwards grew up poor and so has to overcompensate. Very typical.
Also, as unfunny as she was in that piece…
Well it was originally a blog post for her fans – and it certainly reads like it.
Damn it, why am I defending Sheryl Crow? Lady, you are on your own from here on out – at least until the Hargity videos are leaked.
And this is why I should not be left unattended…
They really are. But I find the story ultimately heartening because the little “no selfishness” signs are just a perfect response: quiet, classy, yet biting
Well, there was the little bit about the “chastising anonymous letters and vandalism” to bring this socialist down.
Aren’t they supposed to believe in the sacredness of property rights?
Well, there was the little bit about the “chastising anonymous letters and vandalism” to bring this socialist down.
Yeah, I absolutely loved how the conservatives were the ones to react that way. Notice that when the liberals noticed signs in their neighbors’ yards with something they objected to, they didn’t stoop to that level; they simply put up their own signs expressing their own opinions.
Naturally, the conservatives were shocked to discover that there was another POV out there and reacted the only way they know how.
One more thing: I fucking walk the walk, stupid libertardian comic (oh, you’re funny alright–fucking look like an understudy for Creed, but I digress).
Low electric bill at home, I don’t own a fucking car, wife is in sales and has to but likes to park and walk from place to place, refuses to run a/c while sitting in car (shuts it off–and what can I say? we’re both german-american, one goy, one jew, and cheap as fuck the both of us) and it’s a fuel-efficient vehicle, AND it’s 11 years old.
I rode home in my bike with a coworker last night. That was awesome, riding even in a “pack” of two totally owns vs. riding alone. Ha ha we scared some cars. And we’re bus drivers too so we know how to ride…
I’m a cheap mofo, don’t buy things, buy local produce & learn how to prepare it, hang my clothes to dry (they last longer that way), rely on an energy-efficient computer for most of my entertainment, that or just hang out with people. Want to meet a friend out of town so I’m figuring out the Amtrak schedule (well, that’s less about the environment than not wanting to drive when I’m not getting paid to–but still!!).
I mean, fuck this dude, he probably owns an xbox plus an xbox cooling device, all jammed into a cabinet that doesn’t ventilate well. Probably eats all convenience foods (at least they’re microwaved, which saves energy) and his manhood is tied up in the appearance of his ::Car::. Always buying the latest expensive gadget made in Taiwan (got to keep up appearances), likes his A/C cold and the winter heater hot (turns it up when mom leaves the house). So he has to troll around for one of the more carbon burning professions–touring entertainment acts–to make himself feel better. “Well, at least I don’t fly all over the country and then tell other people what to do.”
Yeah, flying all over the country would imply you have a successful business/career, ya douche. Seems like you have a nasty case of envy… Isn’t that on the Holy Chamber of Commerce’s list of Deadly Sins?
Envy (of the blessed 2%)
Greed (=want gov’t healthcare)
Sloth (work 80hrs/wk and now want the gov’t to take care of you!)
Pride (in being a workingclass shit!)
Gluttony (I mean, look at how fat those poor kids are)
Lust (how dare the underclass have babies, I mean burdens on society)
Wrath (mudpeople deserve to shoot each other, if that doesn’t work, send them overseas to die)
Fucking bidets. How do they work?
Bored. At work playlist:
Wow, this little shit really got under my skin and I didn’t even get out of the boat.
And, really, toilet paper isn’t only bad for the environment in a myriad of ways–it’s also led to the displacement of poor subsistence farmers.
?
Please explain.
I thought toilet paper was what George Pacific was growing all over the SE. Seems like the best use for the land because you can’t fucking make people live there… it’s so humid you’d swear you’re swimming when you go outside.
As far as intentional humor, anyway.
One more thing: I fucking walk the walk
And that’s why you’re a liberal.
Thus Slagle’s “mocking” of the whole one square thing really only furthers teh ebil Environmentalist plot of giving a bit of thought to how much of the world’s resources we are willing to literally flush down the toilet.
Also, POOP.
Aren’t the “one square of TP” jokes also, literally, DECADES old? I mean, older than this douche.
You know I’m right.
Libertarian comedian has difficulty recognizing joke.
His sense of humor went Galt.
Naturally, the conservatives were shocked to discover that there was another POV out there and reacted the only way they know how.
Happens every fucking time.
I just want to leave the world a better place than I found it. Is that so very wrong?
Please explain.
Ever been to a pulp mill? Most of it’s bleached as well.
Naturally, the conservatives were shocked to discover that there was another POV out there and reacted the only way they know how.
Happens every fucking time.
Yeppers, check out what just went down with curebie wingnuts over at Age of Autism. They tried to get anti-denialist MD blogger Gorski fired last week… which backfired. Again.
I can’t place that song (I’ll have to iTune it and see if I had it at one time), but my latest piece was inspired by Bryan’s “Slave to Love.”
OH! Speaking of which…I was trying to come up with a list of the most romantic/sexiest songs of all time, that song was on it. And I’m always curious as to what other people think are romantic or sexy songs…
I just want to leave the world a better place than I found it. Is that so very wrong?
If you’re not profiting by that action, then yes. Ayn Rand told me in a vision.
So he has to troll around for one of the more carbon burning professions–touring entertainment acts–to make himself feel better. “Well, at least I don’t fly all over the country and then tell other people what to do.”
I don’t think he gives a shit about the environment, I think for people like this bagging on anyone even slightly to the left of themselves is its own reward.
Yes.
Actually, no. It’s fine. The shit you don’t waste means all the more for me. Because the whole world begins and ends with me, motherfucker.
Yep. Because it means you’re naive and weak. The world will take care of itself and if a person can’t, that means s/he did something wrong. Deal with it, faggot.
Mother of Pearl. Great and funny song, hot band.
I do care abouy the environment, but I also have standards I will not give up. So yeah, if it’s 2 ply I can go with one square but if it’s 1 ply, I’m sorry, I’m doubling up.
Ever been to a pulp mill? Most of it’s bleached as well.
No, but I understand it’s pretty nasty. Are they shipping it all out to China to pollute over there? Wouldn’t it make more sense to process here? Because my understanding was that they’ve really improved the wastewater processing, should they care to use this knowledge.
Refineries are pretty damn icky, too.
I have to say my personal thing is aluminum foil. Don’t like to use it, don’t like to see other people using it. Very nasty business.
Conservative mindset summed up in the most concise, perfect way.
after perusing the slagle ‘canon’ all i can say is “OMG! STOP! my side…it hurts!”
Tucks, people. Tucks.
but that could also be from the retching…
Agreed. But I never had that song.
Deal with it, faggot.
What’s really lame is that the evil people sleep better at night than I do. It’s simple, I actually care about what I do to others and feel embarrassed if I did something wrong; they don’t.
Incidentally, I recall some research where they looked at how fundy xtians deal with certain situations vs. more secular people and found that the secular people try to heal relationships with others even though it means being realistic about themselves (ie, more painful) while fundy xtians only answer to God (which is an ego projection, usually) and don’t really give a shit if they mess others over. They are more likely to perceive people as enemies and rather than sweat an incident where they wronged somebody and try to make actual amends they just pray and ask God to forgive them, after which they feel fine. They’re the cats shitting in the bed of the human race.
Anyway, the lights seemed kind of dim when I first turned them on but they brightened considerably.
When I turn a light on, Lord Percy, it’s because I want some illumination right now!!
I’m unhappy, let the world burn.
Yeah.
Incidentally, I recall some research where they looked at how fundy xtians deal with certain situations vs. more secular people and found that the secular people try to heal relationships with others even though it means being realistic about themselves (ie, more painful) while fundy xtians only answer to God (which is an ego projection, usually) and don’t really give a shit if they mess others over. They are more likely to perceive people as enemies and rather than sweat an incident where they wronged somebody and try to make actual amends they just pray and ask God to forgive them, after which they feel fine. They’re the cats shitting in the bed of the human race.
Why bother with others when your own salvation’s insured?
Please explain.
I was thinking specifically of Aracruz, which provides eucalyptus pulp (that’s what makes soft TP soft) to USAian toilet paper manufacturers.
I don’t think the intent is for people to restrict themselves to one square. The whole idea is just to give a little bit of thought to the idea that toilet paper isn’t a free resource – I mean it’s not like it grows on trees.
At that WSJ op-ed, there’s a guy in comments who’s all mad and shit because who’s this little hussy to tell him not to use so much TP. He uses several rolls daily because of medical reasons (radiation therapy). Well he obviously has a valid reason to be using a lot of squares – and I suspect he’s also quite aware of the amount of toilet paper he uses. That he already gives thought to the resource usage.
The rest of us? I don’t know how many squares I use in a typical go – I don’t bother counting. I’m kinda interested now though.
And, that was the point of it – toilet paper isn’t free.
Doesn’t surprise me at all. I learned a long time ago that–YES!!!!–sometimes I can be in the wrong. I found the best way to deal with this was to acknowledge it, make amends, and move on.
Women’s mags are (or were) all about pleasing men; men’s magazines are all about pleasing men. WTF?
Real men instinctively know how to drive women crazy. We don’t need to read no feckin’ manual.
I don’t think he gives a shit about the environment, I think for people like this bagging on anyone even slightly to the left of themselves is its own reward.
I don’t think he personally gives a shit but he’s probably in a social environment (upper middle class, ie mom’s house) where there’s a certain social shaming going on about carbon* usage. It’s real lipstick-on-a-pig stuff, but the rich have their ways. He’s hearing this and it’s annoying him. On some level he can probably process this stuff as facile and naive, basically faddish behavior.
Plus he thinks he can bag on somebody. Too bad his attempt was made of fail.
*this terminology pisses me off, but here we are, so whatever
Elaine: “Can you spare a square?”
I think this goes double for women. Hell, I don’t even think we need to try hard. Or try at all.
>men’s magazines are all about pleasing men. WTF?
Have you read Men’s Health? Whoops, don’t mean “read”, more like had your eyeballs assaulted by.
The whole point of this magazine is to make men feel bad about their body and life so they’ll be prepared to buy worthless supplements. The cover alone could make you temporarily lose 5-15 IQ points.
Also, too. Dipshit in the sign video is concerned about how we’ve moved toward socialism with Obama’s “takeover of GM and nationalizing health care.”
WTF??? Can’t they worry about, y’know, shit that actually happened?
Last I checked, the gummint lent GM a bunch of money when they were going Tango Uniform, which has now been largely repaid. Wethepeeple retain a small but significant interest in the company, say 10%. I don’t remember the exact numbers, but fucking Christ, That’s. Not. A. “Takeover.”
And so now I can walk into any fucking hospital in the country and get diagnosed and treated simply as part of the social contract? Really? Like a civilized country? Woo fucking hoo! I must have missed that, because I thought the grifting motherfuckers running the health insurance protection racket were all still happily in business.Who knew?
Arrrghh. Fucking ignorance. How does that work.
>I think this goes double for women. Hell, I don’t even think we need to try hard. Or try at all.
A woman need only to her own self be true, and the crazymaking will commence.
Ha ha, America, civilized country, ha ha. Gun death capital of well, er countries that actually HAVE a government. Somalia doesn’t count.
I haven’t seen a men’s mag in so long. I thought they were all about having great abs and tricking women into bed. (Never seemed to be about relationships or even dating, just gettin’ some dumb broad into bed…then again I’ve never read one, so what do I know?)
So much worry about the Obama socialist death camp gulag, apparently nobody noticed that we have more of our own people in prison than anybody but China–hello? Hello?
And actually Obama and Holder were pushing to lay off on the mandatory sentencing guidelines for crack (one thing I hope they really do change by the time the first term is up), so if anything, he’s trying to put less people in chains.
Whoops, that doesn’t fit the narrative.
You’re thinking of Maxim. Only horny teenagers with bags of money and boxes of stupid (too stupid to find free porn on the intertubes) read it.
PUA BS is in all of the laddy mags but there’s way more of it online, I think.
Also, classics like Penthouse have all but folded as print publications. That whole sector has gone by the wayside.
I LOVE MAXIM. It is a neon sign of douchiness. It’s liking having “I’m a HUGE ASSHOLE” tattooed on your fucking forehead. I think the mag actually provides a great service to women. See one of those babies on a dude’s coffee table? Run SCREAMING into the cold, dark night. Believe me, it was scarier where you were.
Dear Penthouse Forum:
I never thought I would have hot sex with two ladies on a beach in Mexico because I have no imagination.
Dear Penthouse,
I never thought this would happen to me, but one day I was putting a “No socialesm” sign in my yard, when a guy who looked like Kurt Cobain if he had been chubby and addicted and addicted to meth, came up to me and said “right on.” I was so overwhelmed by the smell of Taco Bell and Drakkar Noir, I couldn’t help but flirt with him.
Later that night, I read “The Fountainhead” to him while he tried to coax his manhood into erection. He never got there.
T&U,
I’ve opened that link up. Will defs take a look.
Because of my epic cheapness I’m actually using non-soft TP right now. It’s all good because I use baby wipes (more sanitary) for #2 anyway. Though I dunno how they come to market. Still, you use WAY less of those to get much cleaner. Win as far as I’m concerned.
I do wonder if between pine, hemp, and bamboo, relying on pine is really the most environmentally sound choice. Bamboo is also native to the SE but was destroyed for other crops. (This led to extinction of passenger pigeon, I believe.)
I also have to wonder about all these rayons you can get at yarn shops sold as “natural” fiber. I’m not a plastics expert, but by the time you process the hell out of that plant product was it actually better than nylon or polyester or wool? I mean, goats and sheep can be raised more or less sustainably (they’re much lower impact than cattle).
Also, fuck those “organic” wool purveyors. They are full of so much shit (wormy sheep shit) I don’t even know where to start. (No, it does NOT mean they were fed organic feed, in case you’re wondering.)
Oh dear, McG in teh house immediately after someone typed the phrase HUGE ASSHOLE in all caps. I’ll not be clicking any links in the near future.
Isn’t MAXIM morse code for “I’m a virgin”?
Although I’ve come to find out that women don’t much care for male virgins, not out of sexism, but because they tend to be arrant pricks. (This one guy, his classmates kept saying somebody needed to “take one for the team” because he was so obviously “on the prowl”. This same guy refused to clean his sink because it was a “bacteriology experiment”. And so.)
And actually Obama and Holder were pushing to lay off on the mandatory sentencing guidelines for crack (one thing I hope they really do change by the time the first term is up), so if anything, he’s trying to put less people in chains.
Does the word NIGG[church bell] mean anything to you?
It’s not funny if it’s true.
My sexy pictures: let me show you them.
What a thread, ‘Mother of Pearl’ from Roxy Music’s ‘Stranded’ lp, Toilet Paper, and Chin Brazilians. ROFLMAO.
Imprisoning all the pigmented people in sight is so 80’s! Come on! I don’t dress like I did in the 80’s any more–do you? Actually, I’m pretty sure I burned them.*
*ya, just kidding, I always give everything to Goodwill, and they shred clothing for recycled fiberfill, they don’t incinerate stuff**
**wtf am I even noting this for?
vacuumslayer said,
July 2, 2010 at 21:45
I chortled.
I do wonder if between pine, hemp, and bamboo, relying on pine is really the most environmentally sound choice. Bamboo is also native to the SE but was destroyed for other crops. (This led to extinction of passenger pigeon, I believe.)
Yeah, I don’t know. BTW, I’m not trying to be all holier-than-thou about my toilet paper consumption. Because I shouldn’t be.
The whole point of this magazine is to make men feel bad about their body and life so they’ll be prepared to buy worthless supplements.
vs.
I haven’t seen a men’s mag in so long. I thought they were all about having great abs and tricking women into bed.
Is there a difference?
Bill Nye said: if you ain’t got the melanin, you’re better off just staying in.
Replace melanin with suspected carcinogen Neutrogena Helioplex sunscreen, and we’re talking words to live by.
Dear Penthouse Forum:
I never thought I’d have hot sex with a woman who only used one square, but one day changed my life,,,,
OK, way off-topic, but what’s a yummy, easy vegetarian dinner I can whip up tonight. Caveat: cannot contain beans. My better half doesn’t care for them. I know, I know…
BBBB,
damn you, I’m laughing so hard my chest hurts
sneak the beans in. tofu doesn’t make you gassy. hummous should be okay as well.
what about lentils? Dal? It doesn’t seem very “beany”.
Although I’ve come to find out that women don’t much care for male virgins, not out of sexism, but because they tend to be arrant pricks.
It depends on their age, obviously. But at a certain point, I have to figure that a dude stays a virgin for a long time because a) he sucks so much that nobody wants to have sex with him and/or he expects to have sex with the perfect woman and refuses to lower his standards, or b) he’s asexual. The former’s going to have Maxims and the latter’s probably not going to have much interest anyway.
No lentils. Hummus he will eat. He will eat ground up beans.
Although I’ve come to find out that women don’t much care for male virgins
Then again, some people enjoy the thrill of teaching a rapt pupil. Or so I hear.
also, anything containing “soy protein” or “textured soy protein” or various meat substitutes such as tempeh and morningstar “chikn” patties do, indeed, contain beans.
this message brought to you by the soy farmers of america (& their ingrate, never-tilling-soil-again grandchildren)
I recommend hummus, as well. It’s my go-to lazy meal. Cut up some veg and get some pita chips, and you’re set!
Then again, some people enjoy the thrill of teaching a rapt pupil. Or so I hear.
Major gap here between “rapt pupil” and “entitled, frustrated prick”. The latter are the sort to post in PUA forums about how women don’t like “nice guys”.
Twould be perfect if I had chick peas. Eh, I’ll just look up some sort of veggie pasta meal or make quesadillas.
Englishmen need time.
however, in lieu of beans there are always nuts (more expensive)
I always like broccoli in olive oil with toasted walnuts & some parmesan. pasta (farfalle, perhaps?) for starch. Crushed red pepper flakes are a must.
Not sure I would go for this if I really needed protein that day, though.
I also hear that rapt pupils can be rapt pupils more than once.
BBBB,
damn you, I’m laughing so hard my chest hurts
That exercises the diaphragm, so you’ll have ROCK HARD ABS!!!!
well, I might add sardines to that, dunno if that’s on your menu
Twould be perfect if I had chick peas. Eh, I’ll just look up some sort of veggie pasta meal or make quesadillas.
If you have eggs and veggies, a fritatta’s good, along with a salad. But I don’t know what you have on hand.
Sweet! Now all I have to do is let the air out of my spare (bus) tire. (all bus drivers have one… they’re supposedly caused by stress. eh heh heh hehhh.)
OK, way off-topic, but what’s a yummy, easy vegetarian dinner I can whip up tonight. Caveat: cannot contain beans. My better half doesn’t care for them. I know, I know…
What do you have in the house?
Ooo, frittatta. You’re giving me ideas. I have a shitton of celery that needs to be eaten and I’ve already had days of soup.
LIGHT A MATCH.
Darn you, T&U!
Darn you to Heck!
No lentils. Hummus he will eat. He will eat ground up beans.
Has he ever had dal?
Okay, granted, not everyone likes Indian food.
And sounds like he will eat refritos. Mmmm…
I just got hearts of palm, sun-dried tomatoes, tomatoes, got some garlic, a little onion, carrots, celery, I think I even have some celery root. Pitas, tortillas, pasta, canned tomatoes, marinated artichoke hearts, some nice cheeses, I could go on…Oh! I got it! I’ll make my salmon, artichoke pasta sauce. Yay!
I have a shitton of celery that needs to be eaten and I’ve already had days of soup.
Get some onions and peppers, maybe some carrots, and make a whole lot of sofritto- it freezes well and you can cut down on the cooking time for just about everything if you have some on hand.
No, and I haven’t either, but I will pretty much cram anything that is Indian in my mouf.
What are refritos? *intrigued*
Major gap here between “rapt pupil” and “entitled, frustrated prick”. The latter are the sort to post in PUA forums about how women don’t like “nice guys”.
Those poor souls are destined to remain virgins.
I also hear that rapt pupils can be rapt pupils more than once.
Eventually they figure out how to get out of the knots.
Darn you, T&U!
Darn you to Heck!
If you want to pretend like you posted that first, it’s absolutely fine with me.
That’s a GREAT idea for using up veggies that have been sitting around a bit.
If you want to pretend like you posted that first, it’s absolutely fine with me.
Nah, I was just channelling my inner MAXIM reader.
what’s a yummy, easy vegetarian dinner I can whip up tonight.
Beer.
some people enjoy the thrill of teaching a rapt pupil.
Tragically, I misheard that item of advice and spent a fortune on duct tape.
I love you, Smut.
My favorite dal close second
Eventually they figure out how to get out of the knots.
Tigris is banned.
Such misquoting shall not stand.
I love you, Smut.
There’s a line, pal.
Nah, I was just channelling my inner MAXIM reader.
Hence the capitalization of the word “heck” to make it extra-obscene?
Beer.
Drunkarexia, fuck yeah!
Tigris is banned.
NEENER.
I love you, Smut.
There’s a line, pal.
I thought it was more like a big pile.
I thought it was more like a big pile.
Like in rugby?
HOT.
BTW, if any of you are intrigued, here’s how it goes:
My Pasta Topper
2-3 cloves minced fresh garlic
1/4 cup fresh parsley
1 can salmon
1 small jar marinated artichoke hearts
Parmesan cheese
1 large or 2 small tomatoes, chopped
1/4 – 1/3 cup olive oil (I know. It’s a lot)
8 oz. thinly sliced mushroom of choice
Salt and pepper to taste
Hot cooked pasta
Gently heat garlic and parsley in the olive oil ’til fragrant in a large pan.
Add in tomatoes and shrooms and saute until softened
Add in artichokes and salmon (WITH all the liquids from BOTH containers)
Salt and pepper to taste
Heat through
Serve over pasta
Top with Parmesan
It’s so fricking good
Oh, I’m sorry. Did I interrupt an impromptu orgy? Well, you’ll all be hungry afterward, so…
Oh dear, McG in teh house immediately after someone typed the phrase HUGE ASSHOLE in all caps.
Also not a good thing to do in SMcG’s hearing: Ask for recipes.
I thought it was more like a big pile.
Mmmmmm, could be.
Add a light sprinkle of chili flakes to the oil with the garlic and parsley.
I have very few vegetarian recipes unless shambling mounds count.
I’ve felt bad about eating meat lately. I know it’s really hard on the environment, so I’ve been trying to lean more vegetarian/pescatarian. Hubby is a meat and potatoes guy, so this kinda thing is kind of a pain in the butt for me.
I’d LOVE a great vegetarian cookbook for people who maybe aren’t keen on vegetarianism. I could eat a salad for every fuckin’ meal…hubby notsomuch.
Get some onions and peppers, maybe some carrots, and make a whole lot of sofritto- it freezes well and you can cut down on the cooking time for just about everything if you have some on hand.
Hm, something to consider. Don’t you have to freeze in baggies, though? There has to be a better way. (I may just store in fridge but I guess that only lasts so long.)
Moosewood cookbook? Doesn’t that have vegetarian dishes? That food is awesome.
Moosewood is an old, old, dear favorite of mine. *looks heavenward*
Contains PENIS.
Ooo, VS, copied and pasted for when I have salmon and chokes… when they mythically go on sale… you know.
(Actually, they sell these enormous tubs of marinated chokes at Sam’s club, which I so don’t shop at any more, and, well, macadamia nuts ain’t got nothing on pickled artichoke hearts for decadence.)
That is not vegetarian.
Funny you should say that. I just picked up my artichokes and canned salmon from Costco.
asafoetida? I hear this spoken with a Japanese accent.
recipe looks good (moong dal), have no idea why this person is anti fats. hello, you need them for proper brain function. oh. right.
No Costco here, truly the middle of nowhere.
I have very few vegetarian recipes unless shambling mounds count.
For when you don’t feel like a shambling nut?
I’d LOVE a great vegetarian cookbook for people who maybe aren’t keen on vegetarianism.
Something like this, maybe. I have one that’s half world vegetarian, half straight Indian(with some meat recipes) rather than this book specifically, but her recipes tend to be good.
Ever notice how the CU best buy is always a CostCo brand cleaner or Costco brand food item?
Fuckers.
I live right outside DC. The Costco and Sam’s Club are in the same shopping mall.
Did someone say Moosewood?
have no idea why this person is anti fats
Well, it’s a fat-free site, so…. That’s not actually my exact recipe, but it’s very close. The Makhni dal has cream AND butter, so I figure if you do both in a week you’ll balance out 😉
I was gonna click, Smut. Then I remembered what folks said about Sub.
I do this alla time.
That made me laugh.
BTW, how do you feel about this, Smut? Do you mind when Sub clicks you? What about the stuff he does afterward?
There’s a line, pal.
BBBB is more likely to pay attention if you say “Terminus Est”..
I love Moosewood. Also, The Victory Garden cookbook isn’t vegetarian, but it’s a really good veggie cookbook and there are a lot of dishes that use meat as a garnish instead of as the main ingredient. (This is the way I eat meat a lot–I might have it several times a week, but as an accent in small portions).
K-Lo’s email address is at the post:
And this isn’t even close to being vegetarian, but holy fuck, it’s a fucking good winter meal.
I think that’s a great way to go.
BTW, I watched Robin Miller make a ginger-tomato salad dressing today that makes my mouth water every time I think about it…*wipes drool off keyboard*
What about the stuff he does afterward?
There are things whereof I prefer not to speculate.
Oh SNAP. That link is cruel. Cruel. *drool, starve*
Dear K-Lo:
This weekend I am attending mass with my two young sons. Our priest has really taken a liking to them, so I’m leaving them with him for a few hours while I go enjoy target practice.
Hope all is well!
I believe there have been several Moosewood cookbooks. I was somewhat surprised when I dined there to find they had meat on the menu. Col. Mustard may have been there as well but this was *cough*ahem*ermph* years ago so I wouldn’t have known about him.
She approves of this. TOTALLY. APPROVES.
Jennifer: prior art on “chin Brazilian”.
I hope you get to enjoy the weekend.
Somehow I read this as “I hope you get what you want this weekend” for half a second. That, in conjunction with her suggestion to email her, disturbed me a little.
Oh SNAP. That link is cruel. Cruel. *drool, starve*
A couple of winters ago, we had it all the time with sweet potatoes and (some) stewed tomatoes left over from our CSA. It also included lamb Mr. T&U slaughtered himself and sausages that he made…it was awesome to feel (mostly) morally pure while eating something so damned tasty.
And this isn’t even close to being vegetarian, but holy fuck, it’s a fucking good winter meal.
Another good soup for winter. Add wine…
I believe there have been several Moosewood cookbooks.
There are. I love the mushroom carrot loaf recipe in the first one (I think) sooooo much.
I heart potato soup. It’s really good made with goat’s milk, too.
And I’m always curious as to what other people think are romantic or sexy songs…
Unforgettable Fire by U2. Don’t ask me why–I have no idea at all. The strings just stir me.
Huh, rereading that recipe, that’s not exactly what I do; I add a little carrot and celery so it’s a nice gold color. There’s something about leeks with potato, though, that even if you don’t do anything else to your old stand-by you should try adding a sauteed leek or two.
a rapt pupil
OW! MY EYE!
Once I squeeze out the milk I feel kinda bad about throwing the rest of the goat out.
And I’m always curious as to what other people think are romantic or sexy songs…
Yeah, I’ve thinking about this off and on all afternoon, and besides oldies but goodies like “Let’s Get It On” and “Poetry Man,” I have to say I find “Nobody Move, Nobody Get Hurt” by We Are Scientists really hot.
You Always Hurt the One You Love.
Once I squeeze out the milk I feel kinda bad about throwing the rest of the goat out.
Make goat curry, then!
Um, pretty much all the songs I think are romantic or sexy probably wouldn’t appeal to normal people.
Although The Decemberists’ “Red Right Ankle” and “When You Love Somebody” by The Fruitbats are both really sweet, romantic songs.
Also, N__B makes me laugh.
Goodbye, sweet thread…I’m sorry for all I’ve done to you…
“Let’s Get it On”, absolutely. the “Nobody Gets Hurt” song didn’t do a whole lot for me.
Anyway, since our lovely tigris brought the subject around it, here are some of my faves:
“Slave to Love” Bryan Ferry
“Sentimental Lady” Fleetwood Mac
“Cherry Blossom Girl” Air
“Lovesong for a Vampire” Annie Lennox
“Woman in Chains” Tears for Fears
“Feelin’ Love” Paula Cole
“The Sensual World” Kate Bush
I know I’m forgetting some.
Ahem
It’s not a vegetarian meal, but it’s a hell of a nice side dish:
1lb carrots, peeled and cut into 1/2″ chunks
2 T. sesame oil
2 T. sesame seeds
pinch of salt (optional)
Steam the carrots until just tender. While they’re steaming, roast the sesame seeds in an open pan over medium heat (watch out if they start “popping” and flying out of the pan). When carrots are ready, toss them with the sesame oil and seeds. Salt if you like. Lovely.
Also, furthering the recommendation for the Moosewood cookbooks (there’s a whole line of them): Moosewood Daily Special (soups, salads, and sides) and Moosewood Low-Fat Favorites are especially good.
Researchers find first evidence of pencil material on the Moon
This is cool because EARTH NEEDS PENCILS.
The two together..? Don’t ask.
I had a gf once whose favorite boinking tune was Pink Floyd’s “Comfortably Numb.”
I mean, it’s a good tune, but…
“Is there anybody in there?”
Wow, not cool.
DKW’s mom’s version of “Is it in yet?”?
Vagisil can do that to your tongue too.
“1lb carrots, peeled and cut into 1/2? chunks
2 T. sesame oil
2 T. sesame seeds
pinch of salt (optional)”
Sounds yummy! I would add a touch of brown sugar.
DON’T TRUST THAT ASSHOLE.
This is cool because EARTH NEEDS PENCILS.
Graphite shortage, fueled by China — the main supplier — imposing export taxes.
Over at Redstate…
Opening line:
If You Sign On with Dogs, You May End Up Fleeced
If you join a trike force, you may end up mixing metaphors.
Hmmm…Drooling shortbusser or misunderstood genius? I link, you decide.
DON’T TRUST THAT ASSHOLE.
Listen to the voice of experience, especially numb-tongue-related experience.
Vacuumslayer! A preening little bitch singer stolded your identity! You should beat him up.
favorite boinking tune
Bruckner’s 8th Symphony.
Listen to the voice of experience, especially numb-tongue-related experience.
mff bonneffph mmfermefff mf!
“Vacuumslayer! A preening little bitch singer stolded your identity! You should beat him up.”
I did. He thanked me for it.
“I like big butts and I cannot lie….”
or hm…
“I did it all for the nookie, come on the nookie…”
I did. He thanked me for it.
Tying him up and beating him with riding crop isn’t exactly beating him up. That’s why he thanked you.
If You Sign On with Dogs, You May End Up Fleeced
Wolves who sleep in sheep’s clothing may get up with fleas. Not to mention being regarded with some distrust by the other wolves.
I mean, I try to draw with my iPad but the edge just scrapes the paper.
“Tying him up and beating him with riding crop isn’t exactly beating him up. That’s why he thanked you.”
I’m gonna pretend you did not imply I had kinky relations with Scott Stapp. Tsam, I though you liked me!
Fuck me. *facepalm*
Wolves who sleep in sheep’s clothing may get up with fleas.
Also, if in
God damn I had a big list of stuff and a joke about Mickey Kaus using goats for their “milk” and then cruelly abandoning them. OK:
Sexy + Romantic: “Gettin’ To Know You” – Parliament
Sexy: [pick a song], Prince. “Girl U Want”, Devo.
Romantic: I am weird, so “Wingwalker” by Shellac (it is not a romantic song it is about MADNESS) and “I Desire” by Devo (it is written by John Hinckley Jr., about Jodie Foster. Hottt)
Least sexy: “The Great Curve” – Talking Heads, because I do not believe David Byrne knows what sex means.
Best album to listen to while fucking in a car or public convenience: Songs About Fucking, because (a) it is appropriately titled, (b) “The Power of Independent Trucking” will help you keep time, and (c) by the end of the album, you will not want to put a baby in any lady/have a baby put in you, no matter how drunk and in love you are, because you will be convinced that bringing a baby into the world would be an act of cruelty.
Wolves who sleep in sheep’s clothing may get up with fleas.
Also, if in New Zealand, they should keep aware of the farmer’s location if they do not want unexpected awakenings.
Wolves who sleep in New Zealand in sheep’s clothing may get up with keas.
the “Nobody Gets Hurt” song didn’t do a whole lot for me.
It’s the lyrics. Hot but creepy? Portishead, “All Mine.” Lyrics, as the video, IIRC, is just creepy.
Sexy and romantic songs…
Bohemian Rhapsody (as long as both – or more – of those engaged in physical activity must sing the “Galileo”s falsetto.)
Let’s go Mets go (from teh 1986 season)
L’amour est un oiseau rebelle
I’m gonna pretend you did not imply I had kinky relations with Scott Stapp. Tsam, I though you liked me!
Scott, I didn’t imply that you had any relations with Scott.
I know, I saw your next post, I couldn’t leave it alone. And I do love you–just playing around.
Tying him up and beating him with riding crop isn’t exactly beating him up. That’s why he thanked you.
Do you by chance publish a newsletter?
tsam loves Scott Stapp! Pass it around!
tsam loves Scott Stapp! Pass it around!
Gah! *facepalm*
😉
I bet everybody is off having lives now. The nerve!
I got promoted today. not as far as I should have… I’m still making less than I did in 2000. They say they will try to promote me again in a few months. I guess its good to be making any progress, but it is still pretty depressing. The department head gave me a nice ataboy speech that indicated he still doesn’t really understand the situation, and probably never will.
Wev. David Byrne is teh sex.
(I wish I were more than half-kidding.)
Mysticdog, congratulations, even if it’s not ideal…it’s frustrating to feel like you’re getting nowhere, I know.
I’m giving you a psychic hug, mysticdog.
Thanks, T&U. It’s bad times, I’m lucky to have a job at all. But I’m really, really good at what I do, and it is just so frustrating to make 1/5 what the people who’s problems I fix make. Especially when I spend half my time working around their pet ideas and getting blocked from doing what I know will work.
Thanks VS.
I got promoted today. not as far as I should have
**Cheers**
Congratulations! It’s forward movement, and that’s something, right?
Mysticdog: Baby steps. Congrats and keep on keepin’ on.
While we’re on the subject, it looks like I have something work-wise to sink my teeth into. I am working with a local private investigator doing criminal defense work. I’m kinda jazzed about it.
NOM NOM NOM
I am working with a local private investigator doing criminal defense work. I’m kinda jazzed about it.
When Mr. Sternwood asks you to check up on his daughters, turn it down.
On the work front here, our Arkansas products fundraising catalog will be ready to proof next week – should be printed by the end of the month. Also, the church fundraiser that we’re hoping will net us a nice profit will be continuing through the 11th. They don’t have as many people participating as we’d hoped, but it’s over 1,000 so it should still do well.
Jennifer – I missed the earlier post. What’s the catalog?
…frustrating to make 1/5 what the people who’s problems I fix make. Especially when I spend half my time working around their pet ideas and getting blocked from doing what I know will work.
“Why can’t I get my Mac to print to the printer?”
{Because you’re an idiot.)
….sorry, sometimes I have to vent
On the gawd-awful things we do for money front, I had to visit the SOCIAL(IST) Security Admin today.
On the gawd-awful things we do for love front, these lyrics.
No reason, just because.
N_B – sorry, I wandered off.
The catalog is mostly food products, candles, and bath products for use in school fundraising sales. All stuff made in state, which has proved to have enormous appeal.
Using local fundraising to promote local biz? Very cool.
N_B – oh, and don’t think I don’t pitch it to the hilt. I even sent out letters to school board members saying, “at least $2.5 million goes out-of-state every year to buy products for school fundraising sales. Is it a good idea to cannibalize the tax base we rely upon for funding our schools?”
Because, uh, yeah, of course it isn’t.
Beyond that, in any town where a local company supplies a product for our catalog, we pretty much have a lock on business with the local schools right there. And we made sure to find vendors located in the areas with the highest population densities and highest per-capita incomes.
I’ve had versions of the conversation with a lot other small-business owners. Is it worth it to pay slightly more to buy from a small, locally-owned business? Of course it is, just as it’s worth it to pay some taxes. It took a while, but I managed to find a local office-products supply house that lets me order via the innertubes.
It seems to me that you’re also creating a link between the businesses and the schools, which can’t hurt.
Yep, we even had a logo designed to reinforce the message – it has an outline of the state and a legend circled around it…”Arkansas businesses supporting Arkansas schools supporting…” Also really played up the local aspect in the catalog copy – on the cover it says “every purchase from this catalog supports and creates jobs for our families, friends, and neighbors here in Arkansas.”
If there’s one thing I know about this place, it’s the strength of its inbred nativism. Finally I found a way to make it work for me. Fortunately it also works for everyone else involved too.
If there’s one thing I know about this place, it’s the strength of its inbred nativism. Finally I found a way to make it work for me. Fortunately it also works for everyone else involved too.
Making Identity Politics Work For You story;
So, I have a close friend from Pittsburgh – good Italian neighborhood, union tradition, solidly Democratic and all – where some snake oil salesman from out of town came by recently, trying to sell people on building a WalMart. A lot of the local small businesses and mom and pop shops were terrified, knowing they couldn’t compete with WalMart prices without beggaring themselves. But at the meeting to discuss this, the man was actually doing pretty well selling people on the “cheap and accessible” thing…
… until one of his opponents stood up and just said “people, you realize that if we build a cheap, accessible WalMart here, they‘re all going to come, right?” Silence. The man just sat back down; didn’t say who “they” were, didn’t have to. The snake oil salesman left town with his tail between his legs, and no WalMart was ever built.
I’m not criticizing, I know there’s been too much WalMarting in this country already… but God freaking damn.
Both this article and its victim fail to understand that CFL vs. incandescent is a meaningless debate. Even if all incandescent bulbs were switched out for CFL worldwide, global warming and peak fuels and overpopulation would continue on schedule.
So Sheryl Crow’s crime is not hypocrisy – it’s a failure to understand what conservation means.
A funny car race is vastly greener than a farmer’s market, IF the funny car audience walks to the race, and the farmer’s market customers drive to the market in cars.
The fuel consumed by the funny cars is nothing, compared to the fuel consumed by the spectators who drive to the race.
Likewise, it doesn’t matter at all how far Sheryl Crow flies – what matters is how many people drive to go see her, and how far.
Both the “wingnut” and the liberal in this blog post joust over meaningless trivia, further clouding understanding of what “conservation” really means.
This day in history;
July 3rd, 2010 = one hundred and forty seven years from Gettysburg. Long live the Union, and long live the promise of a Union where nobody gets left behind.
F That!
– Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III
Also
~
And since I prolly won’t be around for a couple more days, here’s to everyone here having an awesome 4th of July as well.
Errrp. Mea culpa time.
In my earlier rant on video-twunt, I confused my Chrysler and GM ownership percentages. 10% is Chrysler. We do own 60% of GM. They have paid back their loans, though, and are looking at an IPO, which would let the government sell off its share at some point.
So, yeah, I guess you could call it a takeover even though the alternative was the complete death of the company. Hardly socializing American industry.
Note to self: Check #s before hitting submit.
Oh, and I stand by the bit about nationalizing health care.
Also, too, would the proper portmanteau for that face-scraggle be “chinzillian”?
justme–what thread was this?
Bryan–not meaningless to consumers, and this whole thing was pushed by CFL manufacturers, with the cooperation of utilities, community groups, and others, since they didn’t see any harm and there were a lot of free light bulbs being made available to people. As you probably well know, few people give a #$&! about conservation, least of all conservatives. Just look what Bush&friends spent on small, unprofitable airfields so rich dicks can get their jollies flying paper airplanes.
Hell, Germany, one of the densest countries in the world, does not have sprawl chewing up all their open spaces. Free money conservatism + no/ineffective regulation = developer’s paradise. We till the most fruitful land on earth under for shitty houses. Wow, that’s thinking.
And don’t even get me started on office and institutional buildings. Fucking passive cooling, how does that work?
Jennifer–fuck yeah. I’m glad things have turned around since last winter. I will never forget what one poster said in response to your woes as an employee: don’t mess with Jennifer, she will fuck your shit up. Apparently she will also build some beautiful shit up just as fast. Here’s to your incredible awesomeness.
not a gator, this comment, regarding this one. Cobag in the video started the standard “Soshulizm!!! Be a-feared!!!” bullshit, and I made a mistake in my reaction.
The Santa Clara Valley/San Jose used to be some of the most productive farmland in the world. Just magical. Now? Not so much.
Hell, Germany, one of the densest countries in the world
Totally not fair. They’re nowhere as stupid as the Belgians.
http://pajamasmedia.com/ejectejecteject/
Conservative says that America is the Titanic, liberalism is the iceberg, and the solution to America’s problems is to ram the iceberg. Honest Injun, that’s his solution. Why couldn’t this clown have been ON the Titanic…?
Even if all incandescent bulbs were switched out for CFL worldwide, global warming and peak fuels and overpopulation would continue on schedule.
That you threw “overpopulation” into a screed about energy tells me one thing:
How much did you pay to wash your brain?
K-Lo’s email address is at the post:
Outting someone’s personal information, Subby??? Shame on you.
If there’s one thing I know about this place, it’s the strength of its inbred nativism. Finally I found a way to make it work for me.
You could set up a side business selling circular family tree templates, just missing the names…unless that’s not what you meant.
Honestly, every place has that form of nativism to some degree. Exploiting it in your manner is the best use I’ve heard for it.
We need a new thread to despoil.
From the link at 11:49, more more flecks of spittle from good old Bill Whittle. America is the Titanic and ‘progressivism’ is the iceberg:
Shit. I got nothing to add to that.
It’s hollow. That iceberg is hollow. And we need to ram it, and we need to ram it now…
We need to ram our long, hard, steely ship full of seasoned seamen into the hollow of that glistening iceberg that mocks us with its chiseled features.
Both this article and its victim fail to understand that CFL vs. incandescent is a meaningless debate. Even if all incandescent bulbs were switched out for CFL worldwide, global warming and peak fuels and overpopulation would continue on schedule.
It’s people like you who give a bad name to us reasonable peak oilers and apocalypse-watchers, jackass.
We need a new thread to despoil.
I tried to despoil some old meat and cheese from the back of the fridge, but it still smells spoiled. I must not be doing it right.
I just want to know what the fucking fuck is up with that guy’s header. It’s, like, the worst thing I’ve ever fucking seen, and I’m TERRIBLE with Photoshop.
Sounds like mr. Whittle wants to have sex with an iceberg. That’s weird.
I tried to despoil some old meat and cheese from the back of the fridge, but it still smells spoiled. I must not be doing it right.
Did you try baking soda?
Did you try baking soda?
No. Is that of use in making unfunny linguistics jokes?
Sounds like mr. Whittle wants to have sex with an iceberg. That’s weird.
“I want to have sex with an actual iceberg, not with a woman DRESSED UP LIKE AN ICEBERG!”
(Anyone who gets that reference is my new BFF).
No. Is that of use in making unfunny linguistics jokes?
No, I just find it helps with bad smells.
Beck University
To quote the best line in any Clint Eastwood movie, we’ve all go it coming to us.
“got,” too.
Damn, I wander back in this morning to find I’ve been given accolades and actually lauded in comments. Thanks, folks!
One other thing I’ll say about our local products catalog – we also got an edge by selecting products that were in one way or another more environmentally sensitive, healthful, or pc. Our food products are preservative-free & some are organic, our candles are soy wax, and our bath products are cruelty-free – no animal testing. And of course since we’re sourcing everything from within a 150-mile radius, our products have a smaller carbon footprint than anyone else’s.
Probably what has made this really take off so well is that we’ve been able to say, truthfully, that if a school does a fundraiser with ANY OTHER fundraising company currently operating in the state, a minimum of 30% of the money they raise through sales is leaving the state. I mean, I’m really amazed that out of all the established businesses doing the type of business we’re doing, not a single one of them is sourcing ANYTHING from in-state. Just from the standpoint of freight costs I would have thought it would have occured to at least one of them. But instead of putting on the thinking caps, they’ve all continued to push faux-food frozen cookie dough, cheap candles and skimpy rolls of overpriced gift wrap, most of it trucked in from hundreds and sometimes thousands of miles away.
Also, too, would the proper portmanteau for that face-scraggle be “chinzillian”?
Bro-zilian.
No. Is that of use in making unfunny linguistics jokes?
No, I just find it helps with bad smells.
I.e. basically removes their stench.
It’s like I’m Jeff Goldstein!
Bro-zilian.
This is now a permanent part of my lexicon.
HaHAHAHAHA, I spent more on fireworks than you did!!
And they’re all illegal too!!!
HAHAHAHA, Americia Haters!
Plastic Flags too, Bitchez!!
Thanks, Yank!
Fucking fire(how do they)works!(?)
Ram it.
Yes, please do enjoy them!
Not this year yah commie crimianals!
This year I hooked up with a guy outta Alabama.
Reallly biig shoooow!
HAHAHHAHA!
Got the flags at Wal-Mart, so yeah they’re prolly chinese.
Thanks dudes!
Oh fucking FUCK.
A) You fail to communicate accurate information, & the noise you put in its place has zero entertainment value. A full global incandescent-CFL transition would indeed save some decidedly non-trivial megatons of coal/tar-sands/oil over the long haul, regardless of how amazingly humongous it makes your e-penis feel to state the contrary.
B) Global warming, oil depletion & overpopulation are not on a schedule. If they were, things like reducing energy consumption by any & all means available would be integral to taking them off the Express track.
C) Whether or not to encourage the world’s biggest energy-pigs to go on a wattage-diet is meaningless trivia? Perhaps I can interest you in a subscription to Tonguejack My Shitbox Quarterly – bonus: it’s printed on 100% recycled whooping-crane-skin!
The funny-car rally versus farmer’s market bit is awfully weak too – if only 10% of the rally folks are then inspired to buy muscle-cars, & keep right on buying them for many years to come … & only half of the market-goers drove there on bikes or mopeds or in hybrids … your analogy bites it (& that’s before one considers that not too many farmer’s markets get tens of thousands to attend, & that a funny-car rally is usually held at night & thus uses a shit-ton of power for lights & PA) – & those aren’t exactly sci-fi-level parameters. You neither blew my mind nor opened my eyes, but you DID ignore a little thing I call “reality” to build your case. Doing so for a worthy cause – or even to try to make a valid point – doesn’t reduce the psychic stench it leaves in my Third Nostril, & such headgaming will only enable a fool to fool other fools.
Uber-macrobiotic hipster purist “tree-hugger” motherfuckers do more to hurt environmentalism than all the wingnuts gunning their SUVs put together – because thanks to their snotnosed attitude, they make it about as appealing as psoriasis.
Your heart may well be in the right place, but I think you need to pull that Sacred Gaia-Approved Purity Stick out of your ass.
If I can’t think, I don’t want to be in your revolution.
Conservative says that America is the Titanic, liberalism is the iceberg, and the solution to America’s problems is to ram the iceberg. Honest Injun, that’s his solution.
That worked out so well for the Titanic, didn’t it?
Celebrate the independence of your country by blowing up a small part of it!
HaHAHAHAHA, I spent more on fireworks than you did!!
You’ll put your eye out kid.
HaHAHAHAHA, I spent more on fireworks than you did!!
Pity me, I spent all mine on beer!
America is the Titanic, liberalism is the iceberg, and the solution to America’s problems is to ram the iceberg.
The original “Hindenburg” analogy was scrapped due to there being no Hindenburg movie co-starring Kate Winslet’s boobies … yet.
You’re looking at it all wrong. Let Bill Whittle explain:
…everyone talks about what the iceberg did to Titanic, but no one talks about what Titanic did to the iceberg.
Amen, brother.
Conservative says that America is the Titanic, liberalism is the iceberg, and the solution to America’s problems is to ram the iceberg. Honest Injun, that’s his solution.
That worked out so well for the Titanic, didn’t it?
Speaking as a ship design* pedant, if the Titanic had hit the iceberg straight on, both ship and berg would have survived. By sideswiping the berg, the damage flooded much more of the ship and doomed it. But it’s just possible that I’m carrying the analogy too far.
*Yeah, like I’m going to just innocently use the phrase “naval architect” with this crowd.
You design belly buttons? What a cool job!
Haha–almost July 4. Today I embark on an extermination campaign against my few remaining brain cells. If I become a conservative or libertarian, I trust that one or more you will hunt me down and kill me. Those are my wishes, please respect them. Thank you.
I thought about it when I was looking at studying engineering, but ship construction is nearly dead in the U.S.
ZRM is a naval architect, of course, when he’s mid-way though his head-to-toe munching.
You’re looking at it all wrong. Let Bill Whittle explain:
What thoughtful prose…
NOT!
…everyone talks about what the iceberg did to Titanic, but no one talks about what Titanic did to the iceberg.
How about if we do a headcount of all surviving icebergs vs all surviving Titanics?
And actually, they have after-the-fact pictures of what they think was the iceberg, looking pretty much like any other huge iceberg except for the smear of paint on it, and the debris and bodies around its base.
the iceberg, looking pretty much like any other huge iceberg except for the smear of paint on it
I don’t think that was paint. It was the goo smeared from inside the ship after the exoskeleton was broken.
Disagree though you may with his politics, libertarian Tim Slagle is an excellent comic and a has been a professional, touring headliner for close to 30 years. Would that my successes in stand-up mirrored his.
O HAI Stan. Perhaps Tim should stick to comedy and leave political assassinations to the professionals.
I don’t think that was paint. It was the goo smeared from inside the ship after the exoskeleton was broken.
So, ichor?
So, ichor?
Yes! That was the word I couldn’t remember and couldn’t be bothered to look up.
Ichor up front, ochre in the rear.
That’s leftist propaganda! The iceberg sank with heavy loss of life.
Ochre?!! But I hardly know ‘er!
I’ve heard the bit about head on vs sideswipe impact on the Titanic and I’m not so sure I buy it. When pieces of the Titanic were retrieved by that one expedition in the mid ’90s didn’t they find an extra high sulfur content in the iron? Wasn’t that supposed to make the iron more brittle? I think there is a chance that a head on collision could have dented the nose, and broken the keel, at the same time. *IANANONA. *(I am not a naval or navel architect) Even so, that is the stupidest metaphor I have ever heard.
We need to ram the iceberg. We need to hit it head-on. We need to put in all the power we have – all of the power – and go right at the heart of that monster…
It’s hollow. That iceberg is hollow. And we need to ram it, and we need to ram it now…
This makes sense when you realize the “iceberg” he’s talking about is Iceberg Slim.
I’ve heard the bit about head on vs sideswipe impact on the Titanic and I’m not so sure I buy it. When pieces of the Titanic were retrieved by that one expedition in the mid ’90s didn’t they find an extra high sulfur content in the iron? Wasn’t that supposed to make the iron more brittle? I think there is a chance that a head on collision could have dented the nose, and broken the keel, at the same time.
Legit questions that can never be answered with complete certainty. But, (1) think of the forward compartments as being the “crumple zone” of TV car commercial fame. The kinetic energy of the forward motion would be absorbed in bending (or breaking if the plate were that brittle) the forward compartments. (2) The Olympic was built simultaneously with the Titanic in the same shipyard with the same steel and had a long (for an Atlantic passenger steamer) life including at least two collisions. The steel wasn’t good, but it wasn’t that bad. (3) A fair number of ships before and after 1912 survived head-on crashes at full speed.
Disagree though you may with his politics, libertarian Gallagher is an excellent comic and a has been a professional, touring headliner for close to 30 years. Would that my successes in stand-up mirrored his.
Would that my successes in stand-up mirrored his.
You attempted to smash a watermelon and failed? My sympathies.
But, (1) think of the forward compartments as being the “crumple zone” of TV car commercial fame. The kinetic energy of the forward motion would be absorbed in bending (or breaking if the plate were that brittle) the forward compartments.
Boy, I was unclear. The keel isn’t the only load-carrying element when you’re looking at impact from the front. The entire skin of the hull can take some of the load in that direction. Keels are much less prominent in the structural analysis of steel ships than in wood ones.
N__B
Thanks for the response. I was unaware of The Olympic was built simultaneously with the Titanic in the same shipyard with the same steel and had a long (for an Atlantic passenger steamer) life including at least two collisions which certainly makes a compelling case for better odds of survival in a head on collision situation.
It’s not his fault. Modern watermelons are built with steel with reduced sulfur content.
Modern watermelons are built with steel with reduced sulfur content.
As any Pamela Anderson fan knows.
which certainly makes a compelling case for better odds of survival in a head on collision situation.
Although Whittle seems to be implying that not only should they have hit the iceberg head on, but that they should have poured on the coals as well. So I suspect he would still have managed to sink the darn boat.
I sold my sulfur big watermelons.
I sold my sulfur big watermelons.
I thought it was more to get an iron-clad contract for the neon lights.
Read: Tim Slagle is an alcoholic with a standup comedy habit who has failed to make an honest living, or really, any living for 30 years (as long as petty drug dealing does not count). Were it not for the generous support of his “comfortable” parents, Tim Slagle would be sleeping somewhere on skid row tonight. Won’t somebody think of all the comics who are able enough not to be booed off the stage by hecklers but still much too shitty to break through to the big time.
Oh, btw, Stan: Louis CK? Has his own TV SHOW now. Eat your heart out.
that gallagher shit was scary, btw. the comments, too.
Also, too, would the proper portmanteau for that face-scraggle be “chinzillian”?
Chinzilla sounds like a long-furred rodent the size of a skyscaper.
Chinzilla sounds like a long-furred rodent the size of a skyscaper.
You say that like the existence of such a creature would be a bad thing.
As I was saying.
See picture above.
And while “bro-zillian” is brilliant, I fear it has already been taken for the literal male equivalent, rather than the facial version. I’ll post pics of a sign advertising said painful bro-cedure if anyone truly needs to see one.
Chinzilla sounds like a long-furred rodent the size of a skyscaper.
Spiny Norman.
“tsam said,
July 3, 2010 at 19:20
Haha–almost July 4. Today I embark on an extermination campaign against my few remaining brain cells. If I become a conservative or libertarian, I trust that one or more you will hunt me down and kill me. Those are my wishes, please respect them”
A firm spank might work better
A firm spank might work better
Getting the firm of Mistress, Mistress & Domme to spank all at once can be quite expensive.
We need to ram the iceberg. We need to hit it head-on. We need to put in all the power we have – all of the power – and go right at the heart of that monster…
Full speed — Ironclads, charge the enemy and ram !
Dinsdale!
Apparently the real name for the chin caterpillar is a “chin puff,” which is really pretty good in its sniffy dismissiveness, but if bro-zilian is taken how about “troll patch?”
if bro-zilian is taken how about “troll patch?”
Not bad!
Or maybe “chinhawk?”
a side business selling circular family tree templates, just missing the names
Like this?
http://www.zo.utexas.edu/faculty/antisense/DownloadfilesToL.html
Like this?
I was thinking less macroscopically, but yes.
Apparently the real name for the chin caterpillar is a “chin puff,”
Scaterpillar.
The liberal cabal is sucking the rear tit of the global elite while basking in obese pools of ACORN booty.
(Via Balloon Juice)
Erk speaks: http://www.buffalobeast.com/?p=2544
That’s the guy w/ the Taxes/Slavery/Nigar poster.
Not the Dale Robertson of “Death Valley Days.”
Had to make an “emergency trip to Arizona just a few short weeks ago.” My ass.
I’ve worked in the south Bronx off and on for years, so I heartily endorse basking in obese pools of ACORN booty.
Always angling for something, huh?
The liberal cabal is sucking the rear tit of the global elite
Oops, it was actually a haemorrhoid. My bad.
Troll patch is good. I also like “dingle hairy,” since it’s just hanging there, presumably to catch bits of the shit that dribble out of the oriface above it. But since bro-zilian is taken, I still think “chin Brazilian” is my favorite, due to the connection with the other type of Brazilian.
“Bro-zillian” made me laugh. Kudos to the creator. “Chinzilla” reminds me too much of chinchillas, which are too cute to be associated with such douchery.
You attempted to smash a watermelon and failed?
I smashed a watermelon this afternoon and now I have watermelon chiffon pie.
…(1) think of the forward compartments as being the “crumple zone” of TV car commercial fame. The kinetic energy of the forward motion would be absorbed in bending (or breaking if the plate were that brittle) the forward compartments…
Are you telling me we can accurately predict with computers who would win in a fight between Sun Tzu and Vlad the Impaler, but we can’t simulate the Titanic hitting the iceberg head-on? L@M3.
iceberg head-on
Apply directly to the foredeck.
And I’d like to learn more about these computer stimulations.
Actually, fore head would’ve still worked, dammit.
Actually, fore head would’ve still worked, dammit.
If you happen to be in the fore head when the ship hits an iceserg head on I garuantee you will need more than one square of tp.
Barnum would be SO proud of this guy.
“In a nutshell,what about us?”
A nutshell is just the place for these schnooks.
“We fight with pennies, many times marching empty handed against immeasurable odds!”
C’mon, man, I’m really hurtin’ bad here – just gimme enough for one little rock! I swear I’ll go to detox next week, honest! Just ten bucks, man, please?
If you happen to be in the fore head when the ship hits an iceserg head on I garuantee you will need more than one square of tp.
On the contrary, whatever will be found of your remains will probably not take more than a single square of TP to clean up.
Are you telling me we can accurately predict with computers who would win in a fight between Sun Tzu and Vlad the Impaler, but we can’t simulate the Titanic hitting the iceberg head-on?
Of course we can simulate it. We can simulate it to produce any outcome you want: the ship sinks, the iceberg fragments, the Astors and Guggenheims live out their lives on an ice floe…
And I’d like to learn more about these computer stimulations.
I’m afraid I can’t let you do that, Dave.
What about “taint floss” for the chin growth?
Lulz via metafilter: Media Drones Gone WILD!
News reporter: “We’re not deadlining, we’re flat-lining.”
By analogy with the face mullet, I suppose Smeagol’s bizarre facial hair ought to be known as a face chonmage.
Via a Salon entry featuring the article above from The Stranger, Gallagher II’s MySpace page.
Am I the only one here tossed between the horns of “whatever” vs “whatever it takes” ?
Libertarians and conservatives do not know how to be funny. Their idea of humor is being judgmental and hyper-critical and it never really translates. The guy deliberately tries to look freakish, and presumably is a statement. “Dare to criticize my look and it proves your shallowness.” “Gotcha.” He picked up the method from modern journalists if all modern journalists were Clark Kents rather than Walter Winchells.
And I’d like to learn more about these computer stimulations.
That’s the biggest memory stick I’ve ever seen. Really.
Wow, a guy who built an entire act out making fun of words that confused him and smashing things with a sledgehammer turns out to be a vindictive hater?
That is just so shocking.
Really.
First Mad Max and now Gallagher?
80’s icons are flaming out in spectacular style.
Soon, hidden papers will reveal that John Hughes actually thought teens are vapid and boring.
The liberal cabal is sucking the rear tit of the global elite while basking in obese pools of ACORN booty
Holy crap, the original is WORSE.
Dear Sir:
please look up “GLEAN.” It is still not the word you want.
Regards,
t.
The first time I heard Gallagher his lead-off joke was about California being like granola. “What isn’t fruits and nuts is flakes.”
It’s not that far to go really.
I’m afraid I can’t let you do that, Dave.
Your speech syntesizer says no, no, no but your glowy red visual receptors say yes, yes, yes.
Daisy, Daisy, give me your, do.
I’m half-crazy.
80?s icons are flaming out in spectacular style.
All we need now is Bruce Willis to accidentally out himself being photographed at a rough trade bar in the West Village.
Oh wait. He BARTENDED at one.
analysis is unnecessary. the picture of slagle is enough.
Back from a fourth of July weekend in the red states – nice to see Whittle’s still turning out these turds once in a while.
Let’s start at the top: with Barack Obama. Is he:
A. A Muslim-sympathizing, neo-Marxist true believer, who sees America and Capitalism as the principle barrier to fairness and world peace?
Fuck, this is why I so often want to smash this guy’s face in. A “Muslim sympathizer”? The Cold War equivalent would be “an atheist sympathizer,” a definition broad enough to include Whittle himself. What the fuck does it even mean? Hey, there were Muslims in my high school, I didn’t try to lynch any of them, actually I rather liked them, much as the National Review told me not to. Is that a disqualifier for Americanhood now, or just the presidency?
I don’t even want to imagine how this bedwetting chickenhawk treats those of our soldiers who’ve gone to Iraq or Afghanistan and married a local.