GLITCH IN THE MATRIX

Well, I missed Father’s Day entirely this yr.

I’d like to take this opportunity to post about something that may actually be worse than The Human Centipede. SFW, but not your branes.

“…I celebrate holidays made in America, about America, for America….”

Like Gay Pride day?

Double your Junes, DOUBLE YOUR FUN!
~

something that may actually be worse than The Human Centipede.

“Today, I realised my hair is bown jus like bellas!”

But whom has she just bown? And does he tweet as well?

I’ve stayed at the Harbor hotel in Watkins Glen a couple of times. I wouldn’t have if the group I run with hadn’t arranged for a steep room discount. It’s not bad, but the rates are glaringly out of scale for the area.

The hotel is pretty nice, brand new, certainly the best in the area. Very professional and friendly staff. I give the staff in general an “B+”.

The food is good, not great. More than adequate given the touristy location, but not up any kind of broader standard, and not up the expectations created by the prices.

But Jesus, why would this asshole use his visit to the upstate tourist/famous road racing town (and he doesn’t seem to understand where he was at all) as a jumping off point for a hate article against Hispanics? It seems to me that his life is ruled by fears that are solely a product of some internal system of his own little fantasies.

“…I celebrate holidays made in America, about America, for America….”
Like Confederate Heroes Day or Lee-Jackson Day or Hurricane Supplication Day.

If this jackass accidentally slammed his dick in a car door, I’d celebrate that.

Dear me. Either that man ignored the dry-cleaning instructions and his hairpiece shrank in the wash, or else he is the man whose head expanded.*

Time to face it, dude; you’re middle-aged and your head will never fit into that little black wig again no matter how much you diet.

* The scriptwriter would follow him around,
Of this he was convinced. it was no coincidence.
The lager seemed poisoned.

If this jackass accidentally slammed his dick in a car door…

How does that happen? Attempted keyhole sodomy?

Is that picture for real? He looks like he’s being attacked by someone else’s hair. It makes me sad.

If this jackass accidentally slammed his dick in a car door…

How does that happen? Attempted keyhole sodomy?

or he’s a Centari… [/dated nerd reference]

Next? Jim Terry whines about the dangers of the coming Europeanization of America by the craze for French macarons. “American Oreos are good enough for my family!”

or he’s a Centari

That is a slanderous accusation only a Narn would perpetuate.

BTW, why was I the only Centauri on the show with a vaguely Eastern European accent?

I thought them snaky Centauri things was hands, not weenies?

He looks like he’s being attacked by someone else’s hair.

Joan Swirsky’s hair had puppies!

No dictator, no invader, can hold an imprisoned population by the force. Against that power governments, and tyrants, and armies can not stand. The Centauri learned this lesson once. We will teach it to them again. Though it take a thousand years, we will be free.
~

Hate, hate hate, thats all liberals have, they want to tear down USA and replace it with socialist republic of Obamastain

USA and replace it with socialist republic of Obamastain

No. We want Sparkleponies. Silly.

From T&U’s link:

Today I was Realized my friend Brian was like jacob…recently he told me that he was in love with me. He is tall, buff and protective. My husband reminds me of Edward he is Thin, pale and, older than me and overly protective. Mike is always telling me to stay away from Brian. MLIT

Holy shit. I laughed so hard I peed a little.

Hate, hate hate, thats all liberals have, they want to tear down USA and replace it with socialist republic of Obamastain

There’s nothing you can do about it, shitstain. I’d advise getting used to the idea of gay sex, cuz you’re FIRST, TROOFIE!

Hate, hate hate, thats all liberals have

Aw, we have love, too: we love to hate!

The fact is, I am glad these socialests were charged by the police. We should do this anytime liberals and hippys gather anywhere

Holy shit. I laughed so hard I peed a little.

Future Tea Baggers.

The fact is, I love seeing hippys and liberals beat up by police. I have no problem with tax money spent for national defecne, that is consitutional, and it gives me great pleassure when the enemys within are attacked and deafeated by the Forces of Freedom.

Talk big, Ruptured. There aren’t enough cops in the world to protect you from the people. And if reactionaries keep attacking public employee unions, they won’t be able to defend themselves from the police!

Keep fucking that chicken there, Gar!

The fact is, I’m going to have to buy a new copy of Going Rogue soon because all the pages of this one are getting stuck together.

something that may actually be worse than The Human Centipede

Sadly, Yes!

This morning, I woke up and had a sudden hankering for grilled cheese on toast. To my own surprise and utter jubilation when I took the toast out from under the grill, the cheese was burnt in to the silhouette of Jacob’s left pectoral muscle!! My ‘sudden urge’ for grilled cheese was a calling. MLIT.

I fear this is not parody.

I CAN HAZ URTH-DISTROYING ASTEROYD NAU PLZ?

Screenshot of Destiny.

The Centauri learned this lesson once. We will teach it to them again. Though it take a thousand years, we will be free.

By Grabthar’s Hammer, indeed! Heh!

I have no problem with tax money spent for national defecne,

Gary, you have acne in your defecne? Or you defecnate in your acne? Either way, I guess that explains your politics, but ewww…..

Substance,

K-Lo has to have some awareness of how that headline would read to others on the intertoobz. I mean, no one could possibly be that clueless.

Right?

I love seeing hippys and liberals beat up by police…. and it gives me great pleassure when the enemys within are attacked and deafeated by the Forces of Freedom.

Nobody spells that badly except in jest, but damn if you haven’t put your finger on something, Gare-bear: the lick-spittle authoritarians you parody really do see those abusing their authority by battering people availing themselves of their oh-so-threatening Constitutional rights to assemble and protest as the Forces of Freedom.

Glenzilla really went to town on Jeff Goldberg today. He starts out with:

“In a stunning display of self-unawareness, The Atlantic’s Jeffrey Goldberg pointed to last week’s forced “resignation” by Dave Weigel from The Washington Post as evidence that the Post, “in its general desperation for page views, now hires people who came up in journalism without much adult supervision, and without the proper amount of toilet-training.” …”

Didn’t S,N! do an exhaustive review of Goldberg, and his love of “cock slapping” people a while back? Or was that Jonah?

tigris: I read that genuinely illiterate people leave vowels out of their written words. Badly educated people tend to spell phonetically, but then, so do well educated people.

But conservatives are convinced everything they say and do, and the way they say and do “it” is correct; therefore they don’t use Spellcheck. What! let a liberal dictionary correct them? No way!

Right?

A little while ago I was quoting Plutarch:

As geographers, friend Sosius, crowd into the edges of their maps parts of the world which they do not know about, adding notes in the margin to the effect, that beyond this lies nothing but the sandy deserts full of wild beasts, unapproachable bogs, Scythian ice, or a frozen sea, so in this work of mine, in which I have compared the lives of the greatest men with one another, after passing through those periods which probable reasoning can reach to and real history find a footing in, I might very well say of those that are farther off: “Beyond this there is nothing but prodigies and fictions, the only inhabitants are the poets and inventors of fables; there is no credit, or certainty any farther.”

Cocky McSlappy is Goldstein. Jeff Goldberg is apparently actually employable.

Didn’t S,N! do an exhaustive review of Goldberg, and his love of “cock slapping” people a while back? Or was that Jonah?

Goldstein, but really they’re all interchangable at this point.

Transcript of Palin’s speech is up at Palingates.

My brain hurts to read it.

She excitedly praised the great college education Ronald Reagan received at “California’s Eureka College.”

It’s evident that there is something special here there is something different and really I think it’s made manifest an event like this. I so appreciate it. Uh, the Golden State, always being nice to be here and uh always feeling such a connection here a special place in my heart is California uh because this is Reagan country and YEAH and perhaps it was destiny that the man who went to California’s Eureka College would become so woven within and inter-linked to the Golden State and it was here, that he, of course, that Reagan became famous as an actor and then distinguished himself as such a good governor and then launched his bid for President and then of course found his final resting place underneath the warm, blue, California sky.

So not just a passing mistake – it was the keystone to her whole thought – process – according to her, Reagan’s supposed California education enabled his acting career, begat his “interlink” to the state, and to Turlock and Stan State.

Never mind the fact that Reagan attended Eureka College in Illinois and didn’t set foot in California till he was 27 – and spent most of his time in LA.

I would imagine that Ronald Reagan probably never set foot in Stanislaus County until he ran for Governor in 1966. And of course the student protests that so angered Reagan were at a UC school, not anything in the CSU system, because the CSU system didn’t even exist until 1972.

Yet again, Sarah Palin is on campus at a 4-year college without having done her homework.

Didn’t S,N! do an exhaustive review of Goldberg, and his love of “cock slapping” people a while back? Or was that Jonah?

The Jeffreys who deserve mockery are many.

the Pantload,

the Prisonguard,

and teh Godlstein.

Study carefully, my fiends.
~

Via the American Thunker by way of Balloon Juice, say hello to your future President: http://www.balloon-juice.com/2010/06/27/voodoo-child/

I love seeing hippys and liberals beat up by police…. and it gives me great pleassure when the enemys within are attacked and deafeated by the Forces of Freedom.

I’m reminded of The Simpons episode where Grandpa Simpson was going to commit assisted suicide and his last request was:

“I wanna listen to the Glenn Miller orchestra and see video of cops beating hippies.”

Yet again, Sarah Palin is on campus at a 4-year college without having done her homework.

Does she give parts of speeches at five different schools before one gives up and pays her fee?

The JeffreysJGolds who deserve mockery are many.

It IS confusing.

Add Jonah’s brother Jizzo or whatever his J-name is, & I’m lost.

Yet again, Sarah Palin is on campus at a 4-year college without having done her homework.

It’s not like factual information would have changed her opinion…

Tap tap. Is this thing on again?

Re: Palin & her speech.

Didn’t Reagan have a Rockwellesque tale of his early radio days as a midwestern whippersnapper doing sound-effects on fake baseball broadcasts?

Quit your governorship, barnstorm the country a hundred large a pop, flub your conservative lore, nobody cares. Can we please focus on the muslimaoist gruppenfuhrer illegally occupying the White House?

It would have been funny earlier, but wevs…

I love to cinco
about the moon-o
and the June-o
and the spring-o

if anyone needs reminding.

Of course, this begs for a flash animation with Jim’s head pasted on to the little owl, and maybe Lamb and that twunt from the other day put on M&P owl, etc. or maybe something from that South Park episode. At the very least a decent animated gif would seem appropriate. I would, and nearly did, but I’m way too lazy.

The real question that needs t obe asked is:

“What message does drinking green beer on st. Patrick’s Day send to the Irish?”

Hate, hate hate, thats all liberals have

Hate hate hate
hate hate hate
Hate your booty, Hate your booty….

Hate, hate hate, thats all liberals have

Troofie’s just phoning it in these days. How I long for the halcyon time of, “this is how it’s going to go down, libs…”

I’ve known some English people who reacted badly to the celebration of St. Pat’s Day in America because they associate it with the Troubles; they aren’t much mollified when I point out that people marching in balaclavas through one neighborhood or another in Belfast doesn’t really correspond to college kids wearing raver hats that look like pints of Guinness and puking their green Bud up in the gutter.

*Cf.

“…I celebrate holidays made in America, about America, for America….”

Say what you will, but you have not lived until you’ve been to one of Jim Terry’s Kwanzaa parties.

something that may actually be worse than The Human Centipede.

Put them together and you have the Harmless Sparkly Vampire Centipede! (Shudder)

Harmless? I prefer vampires when they’re drinking people’s blood, not having abusive codependent relationships. At least the blood drinking only lasts a few minutes.