Come Back to the Five and Dime, Kaye Grogan, Kaye Grogan
Posted on June 23rd, 2010 by Gavin M.
Joan Swirsky, RenewAmerica:
The Obama disaster machine: unfortunate coincidences or malevolently premeditated?
- Testors model cement: delightful inhalant or magical genie gas?
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
I miss the days when people like this would stand on the street corners, yelling and handing out tracts.
Wow. I mean, wow. Just wow.
“Perfection” in its “inverse” form. I like how effect brings about cause.
I would like a disaster machine. Sounds even better than a flying car.
I want back on the boat!!!I want back on the boat!!!
I’m cold, I’m wet and traumatized!
I lit my house on fire. The fire department put it out. Now my house is all wet and shit!
It’s all their fault!
We leftists have been caught out in our fiendish plots to give trillions of dollars to big business and our Marxist plans to let mining keep go on and act in the public like we haz a sad when a mine owner lets a few dozen workers get blowed up. And of course our ACORN insurgency teams took down a huge oil platform so that no oil company would be nationalized.
There’s a plan there. It’s just hard for you non-Communists to figger out.
I love “election” in quotes. What a fucktard.
The Cavuto Mark never misses.
More seriously, anyone else seeing Rod Blagojevich’s mullet double?
The exclamation points are gravitas.
It’s actually “election,” in quotes. So not just “the outcome of voting” which is suspect, but also certain punctuation. Sorry, “punctuation”.
I see what’s going on. Having bested our best satirists’ best efforts, the right has now taken aim at our surrealists. Watch out post-modernists, you’re next.
Joan Swirsky (www.joanswirsky.com) is a New York-based journalist and author who can be reached at joansharon@aol.com.
AOL. Of course. Hopefully Hank will talk Peggy down from the ledge and away from the dial up connection before she hurts someone.
That’s a whole buncha stupid in one article. I was particularly impressed with the was that half the crap she blames Obama for was Bush’s fault.
I blame St. Ronnie for closing the mental hospitals and putting these crazies out on the streets.
Is it too early to break out the sharpies and start huffing? I suspect the best part of my day was over before 7:00 am.
We saw a nationally-loathed healthcare bill — gigantic in size and mysterious in content — rammed through Congress with bribes, threats, and intimidation.
Congress totally wanted it. Did you see that skimpy gavel she was carrying? And holding votes so late at night? Decent legislative chambers aren’t out so late, tempting legislators with their wide open vote calendars. It’s her own fault!
It’s like a Bircher, Birther, Truther casserole.
It’s a marvel to watch amateurs like Joan try to piece together a Wingnut String Theory what ties together a bunch of random items into one swirling conspiracy theory. It’s what makes Glenn Beck so much money. It’s kinda sorta like what Michael Moore and other documentarians do, but without facts, a bullshit filter, or a cohesive story.
I fear the Wingnut String Theory also strongly motivates their base and keeps them howling throughout the election cycle.
What is that critter on her head? A land lamprey?
Ohhhhhhhhhh no. The hair alone has me staying in the boat. Shivering in fear.
It’s like a Bircher, Birther, Truther casserole.
Is there Campbell’s cream of mushroom in that shit? That stuff looks like alien vomit.
Mebbe it’s ZOMBEEHARE.
Mebbe it’s ZOMBEEHARE.
Well, that style did die in 1992…
I just can’t even… I don’t… What the fucking fuckety fucking fuck?
It is always important to go off your anti-psychotic medication under a doctor’s supervision and to report any anomalies or breaks from reality. In most instances, the doctor will re-up the patient’s medication is such things occur.
TAKE YOUR CRITTER AND GO BACK TO DOCTOR!
Get rid of the party in the back, and that chick almost has herself a mighty fine Rod Blagojevich on her head.
Okay, okay, okay. I couldn’t help it. Got out of the boat. Haven’t finished it yet, but are we sure this isn’t satire, folks?
“And we saw the attempts by Obama and his fellow leftists to jam an equally-detested cap-and-trade tax down our throats.
Mmmmm.”
LOLWUT?
Get rid of the party in the back, and that chick almost has herself a mighty fine Rod Blagojevich on her head.
Well, it hides the unibrow nicely.
Unless…
IT’S A UNIBROW COMBOVER!
Get rid of the party in the back, and that chick almost has herself a mighty fine Rod Blagojevich on her head.
or, alternately, if you got rid of the business in the front she’d be sporting a Gallagher (sans curls)
Oh my gracious! Obama’s jamming something — gigantic in size — down her throat! And ramming it through congress with intimidation!
Ya know … wingnut B&D interracial porn sites would make a fucking fortune. (The bestest kind of fortune.)
Just saying.
Oh my gracious! Obama’s jamming something — gigantic in size — down her throat! And ramming it through congress with intimidation!
Mmmmmm. Also, too.
And here I thought we had reached peak stupidium.
•Testors glue: delightful inhalant or magical genie gas?
It’s both a floor wax and a dessert topping!
IT’S A COMBOVER! = Liberal Hair Cover-up
And here I thought we had reached peak stupidium.
Just like Peak Wingnut, it’s always on the horizon…
And here I thought we had reached peak stupidium.
Nope. She found a new deposit. And the rig blew up. The spill is massive.
My favoritist part of the “article” is that she blames “the president” for things that happened “months’ before “Obama” was “elected.” It’s like there’s “literally” “nothing” he “can’t” “be” “blamed” “for.”
OT but actually apropos re wingnut logick- Stop Ignoring the bible or God’s gonna kill again.
From Willy’s link:
*giggle*
Remember fondly the days of The Paranoid Style in American Politics because they are gone.
Now it’s just The Paranoid in American Politics, which itself inevitably will be replace by simply, The Paranoid.
Okay, super off-topic, but this is Mr. T&U’s 18-year-old cousin’s status update on Facebook:
“haha funniest thing happened 2 me today, was driving on fourm and green meadows playing ‘Slither-Velvet Revolver’ with the windows down approaching the stop sign, next to me was a black BMW and a chick with her windows down was playing ‘Dirty Little Thing-Velvet Revolver’ and I yelled out my window ‘Velvet Revolver Fucking rocks’ she yelled back ‘hell yeah 1 of my favorite bands’ with a unexpected titty flash!”
WTF? I mean, WTF? Am I getting old???? (This kid also refers to his friends as his “niggas.” Yes, he’s white).
Is that a grizzly bear on her head? It’s a big male if it is.
Saddest part about that moronic screed is the Velvet Revolver shout-out. Their music is pretty bad.
The grizzly is a predator, a fierce, savage unstoppable killing machine.
LAND SHARK!
(Lots of shouting in Looch’s world this AM)
Saddest part about that moronic screed is the Velvet Revolver shout-out. Their music is pretty bad.
Right? Definitely not worth a boob flash to a stranger in the middle of heavy traffic at noon on a Tuesday…
And here I thought we had reached peak stupidium.
Stupidium is unique among the elements in that it can continually absorb nutrons and continually form new isotopes of stupidium, each with increasing mass due to the absorbed nutrons.
Theory is not robust enough to determine whether stupidium will become so massive as to collapse into a nutron star (the process is called Beckination) or eventually a nutron black hole (should the mass exceed the Rush Horizon.)
OT but actually apropos re wingnut logick- Stop Ignoring the bible or God’s gonna kill again.
Good lord, it’s like the world is deliberately beating me over the head with its stupidity today.
Yeah. At my age and marital status, I’d prolly need 90% match at Last FM before I showed off “Lady Gaga” and “Mrs. Doubtfire” to a dude.
So is god kind and loving and forgiving or not? The wingnut kind seems pretty douchey.
Wait, what? It’s against God’s wishes to research bears?
Yeah. At my age and marital status, I’d prolly need 90% match at Last FM before I showed off “Lady Gaga” and “Mrs. Doubtfire” to a dude.
*snort* And here I thought I was being cute calling mine Betty and Veronica…
So is god kind and loving and forgiving or not? The wingnut kind seems pretty douchey.
Old Testament God is wingnut’s God. Jesus was a socialist.
The Intrerons haz many interesting factoids available. This one jumps out a bit (from her home page bio):
Does the Hedcritter offer a second opinion?
TU< you never heard of Velvet Revolver? "Slither" is a great song…
“Joan is a clinical nurse specialist (R.N., M.S., CS, CE) and certified psychotherapist.”
Now I’m scared, Looch. Really, really scared.
“Wait, what? It’s against God’s wishes to research bears?”
No. It’s against God’s wishes not to kill the creatures that God put on the earth. Isn’t that clear?
Yes, she’s “certified” in the way Rand Paul is “certified.”
BEWARE THE GRIZZLIES OF LIBERAL FASCISM!!!!!
TU< you never heard of Velvet Revolver? "Slither" is a great song…
I have heard of them. I, personally, disagree with your assessment of the song, but that’s cool…I was surprised that an 18-year-old would like them, though.
Actually, I think this fairly well demonstrates that conservative “thinking” has advanced about three milimeters beyond “there be dragons.”
has advanced about three milimeters beyond “there be dragons.”
Milimeters? Don’t throw the metric system at them, Glenn Beck will need a larger chalk board and the Secret Service will become America’s largest employer.
Actually, I think this fairly well demonstrates that conservative “thinking” has advanced about three milimeters beyond “there be dragons.”
Smed, I don’t think there has been any advancement. It’s fallen backward, if anything. Joan’s screed is all about dark,* unseen and uncontrollable forces that come and destroy the village. And can do so at any time. The pipple are defenseless!
DRAGONS!
* “The sheriff’s a ni[church bell]!”
That is absolutely priceless. For those of you staying in the boat, I feel moved to share the best part. She literally, honest-to-God-I-am-not-making-this-up accused President Obama of using a Super Secret James Bond GI Joe Supervillain Sonic Death Ray to cause the oil spill in the Gulf, and possibly also to shoot down the Polish President’s plane. No, really. No, REALLY!
You can’t buy comedy like that at any price, people.
I’d like to talk about this lady’s earrings. They’re very large…balls…
It’s RenewAmerica. Having a “grip” on “reality” would disqualify you from posting there.
Although it does amaze me to see the smiling headshots of over-the-hill boomers and realize this person has actually successfully tied their shoes and walked out the door every day for decades and yet they completely believe this nonsensical, acid-dream drivel without a hint of irony.
Dog does work in mysterious ways.
and I yelled out my window ‘Velvet Revolver Fucking rocks’
When you’re 18, it’s not about the method, it’s about the results.
Totes respect if he had the balls to write ‘then I had to pull over and fapfapfapfapfap’
Yes, but does he have a white cat?
Also, is she saying on ‘Ctrl-Alt-Delete America’ that we have to sacrifice the brother-in-chief to the angry Natural Disaster Gods? Does this pass for legitimate political discourse?
No, really. No, REALLY!
I wonder if she works in some sort of customer service capacity. I could that level of delusion working in that field. Especially if after many years of it.
Damnit, the blockquote should have ended after the second paragraph.
Ha! Ha! RN is only a TWO YEAR degree! (LNP is the four year degree. LNP’s kick ass.)
And I bet her RN is over 20 years old, too.
Nurses believe some super-crazy shit. Being super duper delusional is probably a plus when you have to deal with dead and dying people plus the hours, the nasty tasks, the working conditions, etc.
(It’s common in many places for nurses to work three 12hr shifts… guaranteed to make someone surly, forgetful, hallucination-prone and probably prone to illegally dose themselves with prescription stimulants…)
Well, I have a miserable cold that’s kicking the crap out of me and it looks like it’s gonna be a slow day today, so I’m gonna indulge myself and ask this question: have you ever been pleasured by a blog? I was today, and I confess, I didn’t hate it.
BTW, that pic? It was–at least in part–inspired by you, T&U. 😉
She literally, honest-to-God-I-am-not-making-this-up accused President Obama of using a Super Secret James Bond GI Joe Supervillain Sonic Death Ray to cause the oil spill in the Gulf, and possibly also to shoot down the Polish President’s plane. No, really. No, REALLY!
You know, there are times when I really wish we were half as powerful as the happy band of fascists on the other side of the aisle thinks we are. (A Sonic Death Ray? Imagine the possibilities!)
But God said I will remove the harmful beasts from the land, not “you.”
Yes, but someone must act as God’s vessel (why-does-god-need-a-starship), hence wingnuts are called by God to act in His Name.
Everything is allowed when you have Wingnut Logick!
Too late. You’ve ruined the thread. And probably the day.
BTW, that pic? It was–at least in part–inspired by you, T&U. 😉
Hey, I thought I recognized that fivehead!
Awww, thanks. 🙂
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
Btw, STV is an underappreciated movie. Of course, Shatner should never have been allowed to direct it, because he sucked at that, but… the whole movie is a rebuke against the spiritual self-help industry, the Deepak Chopra’s and Eckhart Tolle’s, and an examination of the cult mentality. What reads at first as extreme egotism is actually Shatner’s clumsy attempt at explaining why he’s an atheist and so many people around him are not. (He’s probably wrong… but still.)
Gah. US futbol team at 0-0 in 85th minute. They need a win to move on.
You know, there are times when I really wish we were half as powerful as the happy band of fascists on the other side of the aisle thinks we are.
Well, facts do have a distinct liberal bias and there is a large proportion of the population (say 100% – 27%= 73%) who are swayed by facts.
So as long as we stick to the truth, we’re good.
Stupid shit like “domestic violence peaks during the Super Bowl”* just blows up in our faces.
*and who knows, some aspect of this hypothesis COULD be true. however, the specific claims being made about ERs were provably untrue. don’t wave around hypotheses, no matter how alluring, as facts. they’re not. oh yeah, and the liberal arts education cuts a lot of “public thinkers” off at the knees because it covers pre-Enlightenment science mostly and basically misses all the huge revolutions in human understanding and philosophy that were driven by the scientific revolution since 1850. so you have very educated people pushing ignorant-as-hell ideas that our science today already knows to be rubbish. it’s as wasteful as people who do “Bible studies” assuming that the babble is a true and accurate historical account.
I agree. I saw when I was thirteen and still like it as much as the other five films.
It wasn’t until later that I understood the context. Coming out in 1989, this film came after a decade of fundamentalist revival in Christianity, Judaism and Islam had given us a ton of real-world Syboks who really thought they were the “vessel” for God’s wisdom. But yes, underappreciated movie, fit right in with the rest of Roddenberry’s vision.
Fuck! USA needed to win that one…
Not sure why I care about team USA anyway b/c they’d only get pounded in the next round, but… Fuck Algeria, anyway.
Yeah. At my age and marital status, I’d prolly need 90% match at Last FM before I showed off “Lady Gaga” and “Mrs. Doubtfire” to a dude.
ROFL. Sounds a bit… um… uneven; do you need a special bra manufactured for those?
Well, facts do have a distinct liberal bias and there is a large proportion of the population (say 100% – 27%= 73%) who are swayed by facts.
Hope you’re right, I think that’s pretty optimistic.
Also too, even if you’re swayed by facts you need to actually be in possession of the facts to make a sensible judgment. And a couple decades of right wing media have made sure that as many of our people as possible aren’t.
I wouldn’t get out of the boat for all of the Slim Jims in the world.
BTW, that pic? It was–at least in part–inspired by you, T&U. 😉
Finally! A nymph with some hooters!
US just scored
“ROFL. Sounds a bit… um… uneven; do you need a special bra manufactured for those?
No, they’re quite even and decidedly un-doubtfire-ish. But boobs should have funny names. I always go for the comedy.
Donovan scores for US Futbol team in extra time. Cool!
(Former college soccer player here, playing back in the dark ages when it was the freak show sport)
“Joan is a clinical nurse specialist (R.N., M.S., CS, CE) and certified psychotherapist.”
There’s a typo there. It was supposed to say, “…and certifiable psycho.”
BTW, I have an account of an email bitchslap-fest I’m currently engaged in over at my joint. No one person should be allowed to have this much fun.
“Mysticdog said,
June 23, 2010 at 17:22
BTW, that pic? It was–at least in part–inspired by you, T&U. 😉
Finally! A nymph with some hooters!”
oh stop it!! ;). I was talkin’ about the name of the piece, nothing more. Time travel, people! No Deloreans necessary.
Um. It’s not ONLY you, there are quite a few people incapable of coherent thought who share your creepy paranoid delusions. Schizophrenics, also, too.
oh stop it!! ;). I was talkin’ about the name of the piece, nothing more. Time travel, people! No Deloreans necessary.
🙂 I know. But I really do have a fivehead.
I always go for the comedy.
Comedy is always better with boobs.
Geesh, I seem kind of fixated this morning…
Hope you’re right, I think that’s pretty optimistic.
27% is the baseline for crazy & stupid; it can top 50% but not all the time (you can fool some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time etc.) I think what you always need to keep in mind is this: half of all people are of below-average intelligence, which is an incontravertible mathematical fact.
FYWP
“BTW, I have an account of an email bitchslap-fest I’m currently engaged in over at my joint. No one person should be allowed to have this much fun.”
I can’t resist that kinda thing; I’ll head ova layer.
“Geesh, I seem kind of fixated this morning”
this morning? 😉
tsam heard “boobs”. That’s why he’s here.
It’s like a Bircher, Birther, Truther casserole.
Tastes like butt.
“Joan is a clinical nurse specialist (R.N., M.S., CS, CE) and certified psychotherapist.”
Maybe its one of those things where if you are a regular for so long you just sort of become an employee.
“Joan, you have to stop trying to give my patients advice! You are creeping them out in the waiting room.”
“Joan is a clinical nurse specialist (R.N., M.S., CS, CE) and certified psychotherapist‘s nightmare.”
Fixed!
I am staying in the boat, but did any of her comentators correct her that some of the things she blames on Obama occurred before he was elected?
What is that critter on her head? A land lamprey?
An emaciated brain-eater (not a zombie reference).
It’s all very fun to make fun of columnists and certified psychotherapists and such, but an equally disturbed individual just won the GOP nomination in North Carolina’s 13th Congressional district.
Did someone mention religion? I could say a thing or two…..
her that some of the things she blames on Obama occurred before he was elected?
“Sequential time” is a concept that is eluding her grasp.
I yelled out my window ‘Velvet Revolver Fucking rocks’ she yelled back ‘hell yeah 1 of my favorite bands’ with a unexpected titty flash!”
They tried to give me advice down at the record shop. I said sit down boys, this may come as a shock! All I listen to, it’s all freedom rock.
Is it only me, or do the multiple disasters that have struck both well before and ever since the disastrous election of Barack Obama seem fishy to you?
You can’t spell “no fucking understanding of causality” without USA! USA! USA!
The most convincing part: where she explains how the Dow doubling since Obama took office is due to socialism.
her that some of the things she blames on Obama occurred before he was elected?
We’re talking about people who think Obama is the product of conspiracy that has been going on since before he was born. Managing a financial catastrophe a few weeks before his election is child’s play compared to smuggling your Kenyan Messiah Baby into the arms of some accomplice at a hospital in Hawai’i.
her that some of the things she blames on Obama occurred before he was elected?
Same way Ruby Ridge and Waco became a rallying cry against the Clinton administration for the militia movement and a huge part of the right wing… never mind that the operation in both cases began under the Bush I administration, and in at least one case the incident happened on Bush’s watch too.
Donovan scores for US Futbol team in extra time. Cool!
The other game was exciting as fuck too, also. PiP and playing to win FTW!
At first, I was thinking that it would be the wingnut version of 9/11 trutherism, or the usual gibbering about the End Times, or some combo of both. But then she brings up HAARP, sweet mother Macree. It’s amusing how the same people that worry about microchips being implanted in their heads have an endless loop of Coast to Coast AM’s Greatest Hits playing non-stop in their heads, sans any kind of electronic assistance.
The other game was exciting as fuck too, also. PiP and playing to win FTW!
I’m not all USAUSAUSA! about this, but as someone who played the game (a long time ago when US World Cup teams were a great and enduring joke) it is kind cool to see the sport gradually take hold and the teams have some success on the world stage.
And. AND. Anything that gets Americans to actually acknowledge the existence of other countries is not an altogether bad thing.
I think it’s probably more like one of those Annie Wilkes things.
Well, Joe Barton just unapologized his non-apology.
Also too, even if you’re swayed by facts you need to actually be in possession of the facts to make a sensible judgment. And a couple decades of right wing media have made sure that as many of our people as possible aren’t.
Very true. That’s what the push to keep evolutionary biology out of the high school curriculum is about, after all.
It is some tasty Schadenfreude to read about convinced fundies who end up dropping their faith ENTIRELY after investigating the truth about Earth’s evolutionary past. Live by the sword, die by the sword.
It is some tasty Schadenfreude to read about convinced fundies who end up dropping their faith ENTIRELY after investigating the truth about Earth’s evolutionary past. Live by the sword, die by the sword.
LOL, if only there were more of them.
Let me edit that sentence “Joan is a clinical nurse specialist (R.N., M.S., CS, CE) and certified psychotherapist” for you.
“Joan is clinical.”
I’m not all USAUSAUSA! about this, but as someone who played the game (a long time ago when US World Cup teams were a great and enduring joke) it is kind cool to see the sport gradually take hold and the teams have some success on the world stage.
As someone who lived and breathed this sport for many years, I’m just underwhelmed by Team USA’s level of play. They also seem to lack heart. Maybe that’s just a false first impression, but I just can’t see them advancing very far. It seems unfair when national teams like Trinidad & Tobago played their fucking hearts out but basically get eliminated because who can compete with enormous countries like Canada, USA, and Mexico?
I’m rooting for Mexico, so many years of World Cup with so little respect… it’s time. They’re playing quite well. Besides, Argentina are like the Yankees… I just want to see them go down. Brazil, too (sooo arrogant).
Also, I thought the 2002 USA World Cup team was actually better than this one. Or maybe it was just the goalie. USA is a national team that needs a damn good goalie. 😀
Also, anyone else amazed by the absolutely shitty performance of the powerhouse European national teams this year? France, for example?
It’s amusing how the same people that worry about microchips being implanted in their heads have an endless loop of Coast to Coast AM’s Greatest Hits playing non-stop in their heads, sans any kind of electronic assistance.
I’m pretty sure there’s a causal relationship in there somewhere, Batman.
Also, anyone else amazed by the absolutely shitty performance of the powerhouse European national teams this year? France, for example?
Oh yes. We performed horrifically, and I’m not talking about the score – this was just one of the most classless performances I’ve ever seen in soccer. It kills me to say it, but we deserved to lose.
As for the bigger picture of the major teams doing badly, yes, I’m amazed, but I don’t actually mind so much. It makes the game more interesting, doesn’t it?
Also, anyone else amazed by the absolutely shitty performance of the powerhouse European national teams this year? France, for example?
Their shit was all fucked up before they even came to the World Cup. They barely even qualified.
Oh yes. We performed horrifically, and I’m not talking about the score – this was just one of the most classless performances I’ve ever seen in soccer. It kills me to say it, but we deserved to lose.
Hm. I haven’t seen the game, but from what I could tell, there were a couple of really bad calls. Also, going up 1-0 in stoppage time in the second half is pretty exciting.
tsam heard “boobs”. That’s why he’s here.
Have I earned a reputation?
And, honestly, I’ve never seen the US act particularly classless…have you ever seen Mexico play?
And, honestly, I’ve never seen the US act particularly classless…have you ever seen Mexico play?
Sorry, I should have qualified that… I meant “we” as in “the French” (me mother’s people). As far as I can tell there’s nothing wrong with the American team in that regard, I’m cheering for them now.
Sorry, I should have qualified that… I meant “we” as in “the French” (me mother’s people). As far as I can tell there’s nothing wrong with the American team in that regard, I’m cheering for them now.
Gotcha. I should have figured that out from the context.
I haven’t watched much Copa Mundial (I watch it on a spanish language channel for authenticity) but I did watch some. Portugal’s annihilation of North Korea was like watching a snuff film. Do you really think any of those NK players will be alive a month from now?
And, yeah, I’m afraid “classless” is the best term I could use to describe France in this case, too.
Also, I thought the 2002 USA World Cup team was actually better than this one. Or maybe it was just the goalie. USA is a national team that needs a damn good goalie. 😀
What’s wrong with Tim Howard?
Is it only me, or do the multiple disasters that have struck both well before and ever since the disastrous election of Barack Obama seem fishy to you?
*backs away slowly*
Stop Ignoring the bible or God’s gonna kill again.
You know, that would carry more weight if the half-eaten grampa were head of an atheist Bible-pooping club or something. Well, no, it wouldn’t, but “saintly and beloved grandfather killed by bears because GOD” is oh so very “is it only me, or do the multiple disasters that have struck both well before and ever since the disastrous turning away of our nation from God seem fishy to you?”
I miss the days when people like this would stand on the street corners, yelling and handing out tracts.
So that’s why National Review calls it’s blogs “The Corner”.
Who knew? Renew America has publishing standards.
For the win.
Make with the draconian taxes already!
These disasters benefit Obama’s agenda, which is to destroy America’s potential for energy independence at the same time imposing draconian taxes
No doubt that’s why he started out with a stimulus plan whose single biggest component was tax cuts, not pork or welfare.
Um, Petraeus is replacing McChrystal?
[RenewAmerica] has no philosophy, image, or agenda beyond this one unifying premise: America must return to its founding principles if it is to survive.
Right, end taxes on tea and re-institute slavery it is then.
Also, death to aboriginals.
which is to destroy America’s potential for energy independence
I wonder what she’s written about the importance of renewable energy sources?
I’m not curious enough to look it up, though.
Um, Petraeus is replacing McChrystal?
Thanks for the heads up. Not so bad, actually.
Holy. Hannah.
WTF?
Every time I thought she must be out of crazy and ready to wrap up, out comes another full fledged gusher, and another, and another. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu…
It’s the most perfect expression of the current whingetard mania I’ve yet to see. Everything about it is spot on. The scare-quotes are priceless. “Election” was awesome. “Natural” disasters was even better. Claiming that the dusky usurper is simultaneously trying to destroy the oil and coal industries and is totally in their pocket profiting from each calamity is truly mind-boggling.
It just deteriorates into, I was going to say complete nonsense, but that’s sort of where it started, so that’s out, so, utterly disjointed babble that can’t even remain consistent for a single sentence. I mean, what is this shit?
Yes, that’s right. Nalco is heavily invested in NALCO. Also, Deep Water Horizon, the oil rig at the bottom of the sea, has its political fortunes riding on the sale of toxic dispersants. Jesus Bobblehead Christ on a ’54 Chevy pickup’s dashboard, What is this even supposed to mean? And when did Warren Buffet turn into the spawn of Satan? Just wow. I guess you have to follow up your super-spy-ray fantasies with something, but come on.
Wingnuts everywhere heave a sigh of relief because now they know what to think about the whole thing.
They include BP, Deep Water Horizon, Halliburton, Citigroup, Goldman-Sachs, the U.S. Government, and, as mentioned, Nalco — as well as some of the beautiful people including Warren Buffet, George Soros, John Holdren, the convicted felon and Obama pal Tony Rezko — and Barack Obama.
Halliburton’s part of a conspiracy. Also, vote Republican.
Sonic death rays are the vuvuzelas of Liberal Fascism.
Fixitty fixed fixed fixxorred. To better reflect reality, natch.
Jennifer I like this bit:
I don’t know who you are – That comment had nothing to do with racisim. sorry you can think that if you want. It makes no difference to me if he is a black man as you say. I am speaking of him as a president. …..Getting rid of the National Day of Prayer????? Yeah he’s a great man
As I was saying yesterday, minor cultural grievances (real or imagined) are always tops on wingnut minds. Actual policies which impact their lives don’t even enter into it. That Obama might have canceled a symbolic event of no particular consequence weighs more heavily than Kagan for SCOTUS, HCR, FinReg or Afghanistan.
Again, according to the Conservative Examiner and other credible sources: It seems increasingly apparent that many friends of Obama — and Obama himself — are either financially and/or politically invested in NALCO, the company that manufactures the toxic dispersants being used to “clean up” the horrific oil spill. They include BP, Deep Water Horizon, Halliburton, Citigroup, Goldman-Sachs, the U.S. Government, and, as mentioned, Nalco — as well as some of the beautiful people including Warren Buffet, George Soros, John Holdren, the convicted felon and Obama pal Tony Rezko — and Barack Obama.
What, he forgot William Ayres and Jeremiah Wright?
when did Warren Buffet turn into the spawn of Satan
Buffet thinks it’s OK to tax people who have gazillions of dollars.
In other words, he’s a marxo-islamo-sociali-fascist ACORN thug.
That Obama might have canceled a symbolic event of no particular consequence weighs more heavily
And especially because he didn’t actually cancel it.
Buffet also pledged the bulk of his wealth to socially useful endeavours after he dies, rather than leaving it all to his scions like a proper aristocrat.
That kind of thing can’t be allowed to spread!
SEE??? SEE???!!!!111! It just PROVES that Obama is a Muslim…
As I was saying yesterday, minor cultural grievances (real or imagined) are always tops on wingnut minds. Actual policies which impact their lives don’t even enter into it. That Obama might have canceled a symbolic event of no particular consequence weighs more heavily than Kagan for SCOTUS, HCR, FinReg or Afghanistan.
Not only that, but, seriously, National Day of Prayer vs. over one million Iraqi lives ended. National Day of Prayer… one million lives.
God Almighty, it’s good to know the kind of priorities those good Christian morals’ll get you.
Narcissistic shitbags.
National Day of Prayer… one million brown lives.
Feexed.
Goddamn, Twitter is fucking funny.
“Gen Petraeus, you are not a man of honor, you sir are a COWARD and an Obama Lacky. You are a disgrace to the armed services! #tcot #tlot”
“Lacky”! HA!
And especially because he didn’t actually cancel it.
It’s amazing how many things they’re mad at liberals about, that never actually happened.
I mean, we were pretty mad at George Bush, but we were never mad at him for invading Egypt, or killing all the Jews, or whatever. His actual crimes were more than enough. (Of course, Obama’s aren’t, which is perhaps why you see them so eager to make up crimes to be mad at. Although seriously, they could have done better than “abolishing the national day of prayer.”)
Well yes, if they didn’t fixate on cultural grievances, they might realize that liberal policies make their lives easier and more prosperous leaving more time to stew and fume over imaginary liberals under the bed.
It’s kind of liberalism’s Achilles heel.
Last night Olbermann made a plausible (if not entirely political) argument for ripping McChrystal a new ass as big as his mouth and keeping him on, thus leaving the wingnuts to milling in circles and being angry at …well, something.
I think Mr. Olbermann still labors under the misconception that coherence and consistency in message are any sort of concern for right wingers. They’ll hop the fence and contradict yesterday’s argument quicker than you can recite one of the Goddamn Batman’s ultramega awesome nym lines.
I think Mr. Olbermann still labors under the misconception that coherence and consistency in message are any sort of concern for right wingers. They’ll hop the fence and contradict yesterday’s argument quicker than you can recite one of the Goddamn Batman’s ultramega awesome nym lines.
Exactly. Most of them were waiting to scream about it until they knew what Obama was going to do so they could advocate for the exact opposite. He’s giving them far too much credit.
I mean, we were pretty mad at George Bush, but we were never mad at him for invading Egypt, or killing all the Jews, or whatever.
How do we REALLY know he didn’t? And where the FUCK is this usurper’s birth certificate? I don’t care if he’s white, this is about the Constitution!
Heh. Hated Co-Worker pronounces “Maryland” like “Mary Land.”
Today’s
officeblog pool — how long until the first hagiography of McChrystal appears, and which wingnut site will it be on? I’ll go with 15 minutes at America’s Shittiest Website, but don’t ask me to look for it…“Gen Petraeus, you are not a man of honor, you sir are a COWARD and an Obama Lacky. You are a disgrace to the armed services! #tcot #tlot”
The one time I ever took a stand against free speech was when my college roommate put up a poster on our door of soldiers holding up a sign that read “HALP US JON KARRY – WE’RE STUCH IN IRAC” after that gaffe back in 2006. When asked about it, the roomie explained to me that it didn’t matter if he served, even though he could have dodged, the fact that he didn’t agree with the war meant his service wasn’t worthy of being respected.
Since he’d just inadvertently insulted my own grandfather (three tours in Southeast Asia, thought it was a “dumb war” and said so), I simply walked back to the dorm, tore the sign off and flushed it down the toilet.
The number of soldiers that they’re willing to shit, piss and spit on simply for not living up to their wet dream of how a solider should vote is one of the most repugnant things about them.
“Gen Petraeus, you are not a man of honor, you sir are a COWARD and an Obama Lacky. You are a disgrace to the armed services!
Too bad they didn’t call him General BetrayUs! Ladies and gentlemen, please adjust your clocks to Double Standard Time. Thank you.
So, two themes from the conservative Twitcrowd:
1) Oh, so NOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWW Petraeus is good enough for you lefties, eh?
2) ZOMG this is all a plot to keep Petraeus too busy for a presidential run in 2012!
I have to admit, they are creative…
T&U, I had a former hated co-worker (since went off to live on a boat and I hope she drowns) who spelled Thailand “Tiland.” These are folks who paddle in the very shallow end of the gene pool.
T&U, I had a former hated co-worker (since went off to live on a boat and I hope she drowns)
Oh, this one would drown if she ever had to live on a boat. She’s lucky you don’t have to think to breathe.
Are those the ones shoving things down their throats?
Heh. Hated Co-Worker pronounces “Maryland” like “Mary Land.”
You should totally give her a shoe to tie and post a video of it on Youtube and such as US Americans in the Iraq and such as.
“gentlemen, please adjust your clocks to Double Standard Time”
Tee hee. That’s a gooder.
#tcot #tlot
Those external-gilled salamanders tweet?
She literally, honest-to-God-I-am-not-making-this-up accused President Obama of using a Super Secret James Bond GI Joe Supervillain Sonic Death Ray to cause the oil spill in the Gulf, and possibly also to shoot down the Polish President’s plane. No, really. No, REALLY!
They saved
Hitler’sTesla’s brain!They saved Tesla’s brain!
Tesla is, like, the electric Jesus.
You should totally give her a shoe to tie and post a video of it on Youtube and such as US Americans in the Iraq and such as.
I’m just insulted that she has the same job as I do.
Then again, I’m totally half-assed about mine and she actually tries.
I have to admit, they are creative…
You know who ELSE was politically creative? That’s not rhetorical.
Really?
You know who ELSE was politically creative? That’s not rhetorical.
Your mom?
Wait, that’s not the right answer, let me try again…
YOU STOP MAKING FUN OF TRIG!
Dammit, that’s not right, either…just a minute…it will come to me…
Really?
Ha! I love the headband/mullet thing. That’s what I’m rocking today, as a matter of fact. But I was doing before all these hairmetal queers was!
“Ha! I love the headband/mullet thing. That’s what I’m rocking today, as a matter of fact. But I was doing before all these hairmetal queers was!”
LIES!!! That’s not how I picture our beloved tsam!!
LIES!!! That’s not how I picture our beloved tsam!!
I’m a little afraid to ask how you do picture me…
So here in Dallas it’s been above the average of 93°F for 22 of the 23 days this month. Horribly hot, but I’m not complaining because it’s to be expected — nothing that unusual for this time of year. But I just want to know where are those fuckers who five months ago were all “it’s snowing in the winter, global warming disproven”. I want them to come here so I can punch them in their sweat-covered nads.
Actually, I’m kind of at a loss. For some reason I always imagine longish shaggy hair. But yer probably shaved bald!!
“it’s snowing in the winter, global warming disproven”.
One of the S,N! bloggers accurately described the mindset of these people–to paraphrase: every snowflake is a personal repudiation of Al Gore.
I thought that stated it well. Climate and weather are exactly the same, don’t you know?
.I want them to come here so I can punch them in their sweat-covered nads.
I think Media Matters yesterday had a bit on how suddenly Drudge isn’t posting daily weather updates now that it’s been really freaking hot.
As the excellent quip above said, Daylight savings ended and now it’s Double Standard time.
Actually, I’m kind of at a loss. For some reason I always imagine longish shaggy hair. But yer probably shaved bald!!
I linked to a picture once. No long hair, not bald, probably the most average looking white guy you can imagine.
So, Obama did AIG, PETA blew up the oil-rig, & ACORN … no, I’m sorry.
I just can’t do it.
Don’t get me wrong: this lady is doing an awesome job of gnawing the heads off of those rhetorical chickens – those mangoes do indeed look like proof that Orly Taitz had Time Cube Guy’s love-child – but in this particular context, I find it about as hilarious as a cholera outbreak.
As far as I’m concerned, this pseudo-pompador-sporting man-faced psycho & all her “We Create Our Own Reality” comrades ought to be required to clean off every seagull, turtle & pelican on those beaches – with their tongues. In the long run, this whole “shakedown” faux-pas might make even the gruesome spectacle of shilling for torture look like small potatos.
This isn’t a drunk oil-tanker captain wiping out on a sandbar – it’s Pandora’s Box.
As bad as it is now, it’s going to get exponentially uglier once the Leaning Tower Of BOP finally keels over – that beast weighs 450 fucking tons & it’s on top of silt, which is on top of what are now geologically compromised strata – so say au revoir little hole & bonjour gaping Oil Goatse From Hell when that fat lady sings. This is not a “leak,” nor is it a “spill” – it’s a manifold hemhorrage.
The real kicker is that a lot of these microcephalic motherfuckers with their two-bit blogs are spewing their idiocy gratis – evil bastards though they may be, at least BP can point to a profit motive. Even the whores like Barton are finding some money on their dresser afterwards … but these legions of armchair Roves & their “patriotic” appetite for stupidity, trying to whitewash this clusterfuck on their own dime? Lower than whaleshit.
“I linked to a picture once. No long hair, not bald, probably the most average looking white guy you can imagine.”
Now THAT I would not have expected.
Ok, last time; The douche in the center
Holy crap. You’re a cutie-pie. Yep. I fucking said it.
Back off, Grizzly. I saw him first.
For some reason I always imagine longish shaggy hair.
(/tentatively raises hand)
There we go. I knew we had to have some bonafide long-haired hippie freaks up in here.
Holy crap. You’re a cutie-pie. Yep. I fucking said it.
Ok, I’m trying to grasp the significance of the nym change for that particular post and it’s doing nothing but frightening me.
In any case, thanks for the compliment!
Back off, Grizzly. I saw him first.
That’s right! I belong only to Mistress.
Oil in the water:
http://earthobservatory.nasa.gov/IOTD/view.php?id=44375
LOL! Actually, the nym was from a “joke” upthread and I forgot to change it back. I’m always doing that. As we all know from the “The Night of Vaccumslayer”
There we go. I knew we had to have some bonafide long-haired hippie freaks up in here.
Guilty as charged!
A Marxist-Inspired Disaster Central
The route to Obama’s hate-America agenda is and always has been to create Alinsky-inspired widespread-and-sustained chaos, the better to keep people off balance, riddled with anxiety, and hoping for the redemption of big government. How else to explain the spate of unprecedented tragedies, catastrophes, and calamities that have struck our own country and around the world, for instance the three Muslim terrorist attacks in the U.S., including the attack at Fort Hood in Texas in which 13 were murdered and 30 injured; the wanton murder of police officers in Seattle; the explosion on New York’s Madison Avenue (which authorities claimed was a burst pipe); the calamitous earthquakes in Haiti and Chile; the eruption of the volcano in Iceland that disrupted European air traffic; the airline crash in Russia that killed the president of Poland, on and on.
this lady’s earrings. They’re very large…balls…
Testicle earrings for AUS$520!
Does guzzling earrings count as teabagging?
at the same time imposing draconian taxes
Here in New Zealand, your first three dragons are tax-free! I gloat.
Here in New Zealand, your first three dragons are tax-free! I gloat.
In Massachusetts, food items are not taxed at all.
Dragon curry: too spicy?
Crazy, you say, to suggest that the Obama regime is responsible for these domestic incidents and international “natural” disasters?
Crazy? No, I would call that freaking AMAZING! My God, is there anything Obama CAN’T do?!?!
this lady’s earrings. They’re very large…balls…
Thet bitch done stoled those offa the backa mah truck!
I knew it.
Speaking of hair, I’ve got enough for about 5 people…so if any of you need some, holla.
Speaking of hair, I’ve got enough for about 5 people…so if any of you need some, holla.
On your head, right?
“On your head, right?”
I could make a TMI joke right now, but instead I’ll just say…yes.
On your head, right?
Certain cryptozoologists who shall remain nameless because I can’t be bothered to look up how their names are spelled hope the answer is no. Also they want to know shoe size.
Ok, last time; The douche in the center
Holy Crap! You look like my son…guitar and all! I had to do a double take!
I knew we had to have some bonafide long-haired hippie freaks up in here.
Ruh roh.
Her hair. It just moved.
Some person with Powerpoint or Gimp experience should animate it.
Do they also say ‘WAR-shington’? Cause I fuckin’ hate that.
Notwithstanding my previous comment, even a crusty old grouch like me has to admit that every black plume of toxic sludge has a silver lining.
Fursuit?
Damn it I hate these people! Just accidentally stopped on Hannity with the Coulterbeast on. She’s sportin’ at least 3 layers of false eyelashes and can barely keep her eyes open. Then he trots out Malkin. I think I’m gonna hurl….