Did Todd Palin Have Cybernetic Brain Implants?
Move over Sarah Palin and Barack Obama! Your boob job and butt lift is so yesterday’s news! Now comes the shocking news that Alaska First Dude Todd Palin has augmented his grey matter with cybernetic brain implants! The shocking before and after photos are here!
Todd Palin just a few weeks or months or years ago:
And this just in! An amateur Alaskan shutterbug captures Todd – or should we say the Toddbot 3000 – out for a jaunt on his beloved ‘snow machine’ earlier today!
Oh, Todd! We liked you so much better when you were a brainless hunk of wingnut eye candy! The vacant stare and inability to string a sentence together were part of your charm — or all of it! Dumb, hot and knocking up Sarah Palin was what America fell in love with, First Dude! Alas, we fear that your positronic implants may actually have vaulted your IQ into the mid-double digits as this never-before-seen close-up of augmented Todd Palin seems to show!
Tits and Ass! Between S,N and Wonkette, this has turned out ot be a most amusing day.
Let’s go see what TBogg has to offer. Taking a Mental Health Day and hitting the blogs is the only way to work.
Now comes the shocking news that Alaska First Dude Todd Palin has augmented his grey matter with cybernetic brain implants!
Really? I just heard that he only had penis enlargement surgery…
Really? I just heard that he only had penis enlargement surgery…
Hey, he needs the extra lenght if he wants to give Sarh a pearl necklace.
Hey, he needs the extra lenght if he wants to give Sarh a pearl necklace.
Between that and the other thread…….
You know, there’s only so many times I can vomit in one day.
OK, this meme has jumped the shark.
ON A SNOWMOBILE!
You know, there’s only so many times I can vomit in one day.
Proof you’re not Jesus. Because if he saw the world today…
Of course, the real news is the awesome machine gun Todd has installed on his snow machine, the better to gun down wolves
or the sharks he’s jumping over, per actor
If Todd got a brain implant, he’d be divorcing that bitch…
Apparently, hair loss is a side-effect of this procedure.
Now comes the shocking news that Alaska First Dude Todd Palin has augmented his grey matter with cybernetic brain implants!
STOP MAKING FUN OF TRIGG!
Proof you’re not Jesus. Because if he saw the world today…
Jesus was bulimic?
The most terrifying thing about CyberTodd are the puffy sleeves. Or are those mutton-leg sleeves? Dude, I don’t know diddly about fashion.
You can only “augment” something if there was a modicum to begin with. Ahem.
Does anybody else want to reach through the screen on that first picture and break his fucking finger?
Say, did anybody read that story about AT&T’s security flaw with respect to the iPad and email addresses?
Check out the name of the firm that discovered it.
Check out the name of the firm that discovered it.
Nobody’s picked up on it yet. COME ON, Gawker commenters. You used to be so much better than this!
T&U,
The poster did reference the photo in the post itself.
That has to be a joke.
Right?
No, they really are.
Goatse
The poster did reference the photo in the post itself.
Yeah, I did notice the overuse of the word “hole.” I guess I expected much more hilarious responses, unless they were purposely playing it straight…
From the first page of Gazoogle for “goatse”:
“The goatse.cx lawyer has informed us that we need a warning! So.. if you are under the age of 18 or find this photograph offensive, please don’t look at it. …”
Yeah, that’ll keep the kids from looking.
“The goatse.cx lawyer has informed us that we need a warning! So.. if you are under the age of 18 or find this photograph offensive, please don’t look at it. …”
That warning appears on the homepage of goatse.fr, which is also the homepage of the security “firm” who uncovered the flaw.
The flaw is real. Mike Bloomberg acknowledged that his private email account had been compromised.
The firm? I have my doubts.
The subscriber data was obtained by a group calling itself Goatse Security. Though the group is steeped in off-the-wall, 4chan-style internet culture—its name is a reference to a famous gross-out Web picture—it has previously highlighted real security vulnerabilities in the Firefox and Safari Web browsers, and attracted media attention for finding what it said were flaws in Amazon’s community ratings system.
I think it’s pretty clear that no one is confused about it being a real firm.
It’s bad enough that we have shit lagoons in this country; we really don’t need an inland sea of vomit.
This post hurt my brain.
My brain is much more sophisticated than that of any of the Palins.
It’s bad enough that we have shit lagoons in this country; we really don’t need an inland sea of vomit.
And shitmoats. Also, too. Don’t forget the shitmoats.
OK, this meme has jumped the shark.
ON A SNOWMOBILE!
With a FUCKING AUTOCANNON!!!!
If he was chasing velociraptors, it would be perfect!
By the way, what happened to Todd’s legs in the second picture? His feet are at an awfully awkward angle…
It’s summer in Alaska. Where was that picture taken? Antarctica? Hoth?
The plot thickens.
It’s summer in Alaska. Where was that picture taken? Antarctica? Hoth?
Oh, that’s actually cocaine.
And also: it’s Taaaahhhhhhhhhhhdddd, not “Todd”.
‘tard
We call him Tard
Ack. I keep trying to forget the Shitmoatress — for some reason, rare meat really squicks me out.
Now comes the shocking news that Alaska First Dude Todd Palin has augmented his grey matter with cybernetic brain implants!
Those mixed marriages never work.
The subscriber data was obtained by a group calling itself Goatse Security.
A fully-owned subsidiary of Lemonparty Inc.
PENIS!
The Arctic Centaur.
How many times has Taaaaahhhhhhhd. shown up in “Hot chicks With Douchebags”?
How many times has Taaaaahhhhhhhd. shown up in “Hot chicks With Douchebags”?
Or on
Seriously, nobody else wants to reach through the screen and break his finger? Am I overly fixated on this?
Seriously, nobody else wants to reach through the screen and break his finger?
JUST DON’T PULL IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I appreciate the warning, but I have two younger brothers. I think I have it under control.
Mickey Kaus has recruited two Congressmen to his campaign!
OMG! WEINER!
I have lost my will to live. I see now that life is just a meaningless parade of empty acts culminating in a horrible death alone in the darkness, forever.
Thanks.
I have lost my will to live. I see now that life is just a meaningless parade of empty acts culminating in a horrible death alone in the darkness, forever.
You looked up goatse, didn’t you?
I see now that life is just a meaningless parade of empty acts culminating in a horrible death alone in the darkness, forever.
But the pie is nice.
noen: All any of us can hope for is a relatively quick & painless death.
Pie. Yeah, there’s always some nice blueberry pie. And some decent coffee, if that’s not too much to ask.
I have lost my will to live. I see now that life is just a meaningless parade of empty acts culminating in a horrible death alone in the darkness, forever.
and that’s the BEST CASE scenario.
and that’s the BEST CASE scenario.
Says the zombie…foreshadowing.
Whatsa matter with everyone today? It’s almost Friday and…um…
Shit, now I’m depressed too. And my depression is coated in toxic fucking oil, a crime for which the victims shall know no justice. Time to drink heavily.
And my depression is coated in toxic fucking oil, a crime for which the victims shall know no justice.
Have you been watching the video? I’m no engineer, but that well cap is starting to look awfully leaky…
Have you been watching the video? I’m no engineer, but that well cap is starting to look awfully leaky…
I can’t watch it. I’m no engineer either, but I’m not stupid. Everyone knows that motherfucker is going to gush until all of the pressure runs out. Nobody knows how long that will be. For the rest of our lives, the Gulf of Mexico will be an oil slick, devoid of life. Meanwhile, BP will continue to drill wells and make enough money to hire a hit on God himself, and we will continue to drive our giant fucking cars to McDonalds every night…
“The goatse.cx lawyer has informed us that we need a warning! So.. if you are under the age of 18 or find this photograph offensive, please don’t look at it. …”
Yeah, that’ll keep the kids from looking.
speaking of kids looking…
http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/swimsuit_issue.png
I’m no engineer, but that well cap is starting to look awfully leaky…
If you’re looking for some good news:
Obama’s hammer gonna fall
Or if you’d like to just laugh at the clown:
Glenn Beck’s ‘Overton Window’ ad: Try not to laugh. We dare you.
Everyone knows that motherfucker is going to gush until all of the pressure runs out. Nobody knows how long that will be. For the rest of our lives, the Gulf of Mexico will be an oil slick, devoid of life.
Fuck, man. I have to help host a kids’ program at the library tonight about fishies. I can’t drink for another 4 hours!
Meanwhile, BP will continue to drill wells and make enough money to hire a hit on God himself, and we will continue to drive our giant fucking cars to McDonalds every night…
Stop trying to cheer me up.
Fuck, man. I have to help host a kids’ program at the library tonight about fishies
fishies totally rock, though. I am converting an old G4 Cube to a Betta tank. Which may be the only way fishies survive in teh Brave New Gilded Age.
Just try and keep the cussing to a minimum, for the kidzos.
If you’re looking for some good news:
Obama’s hammer gonna fall
I hope this is going to happen.
Obama’s hammer gonna fall
Is he going to sit on them with his implants?
Just try and keep the cussing to a minimum, for the kidzos.
Heh. I work in a conservative office, so I’m used to acting like a civilized human being. I think I curse more in my writing and at home to make up for it, actually.
I have to help host a kids’ program at the library tonight about fishies.
Ahh.. I see, you’re a history teacher.
Bunch reported that Beck told the gathering the story depicts the rise of a citizen’s organization called the Founders Keepers, “a group of people that just won’t give up.” What follows, Beck said, is “a battle and a civil war, and life is upside-down planetwide.”
From noen’s link (holy crap, I’ve been reading NEON for as long as I’ve been around here…weird)
Founders Keepers–haha–railing against the Losers Weepers.
Haha–tasm doesn’t know how to close tags. Obviously a Losers Weeper.
Heh. I work in a conservative office, so I’m used to acting like a civilized human being. I think I curse more in my writing and at home to make up for it, actually.
I work with contractors all day long in an EXTREMELY liberal office. I struggle with cleaning up my language in the company of just about anyone. I manage, though.
Ahh.. I see, you’re a history teacher.
LOLsob.
I am glad that we are far away from the Gulf and totally landlocked, because the library’s “Splash into Summer Reading” theme could have posed a problem…
Is he going to sit on them with his implants?
**shiver**
When the cracks run that deep, they make an awful lot of gravy. DO NOT WANT.
Another massive socialist package — and oiled, this time.
Another massive socialist package — and oiled, this time.
All the better to ram it down your throat, dearie….mmmmhhhmmmmmhahhahahahah! Line up for your barcoding.
I work with contractors all day long in an EXTREMELY liberal office. I struggle with cleaning up my language in the company of just about anyone. I manage, though.
The dean curses a lot, but he’s the dean, you know?
The cursing isn’t much of a problem. The covering up the tattoo after walking for 20 minutes from the bus station or riding my bike in the humid-ass summer is.
When the cracks run that deep, they make an awful lot of gravy.
However, I am willing to bet there is a web site devoted to it. Actor should be able to verify, if not provide examples.
The covering up the tattoo
You kids, I chuckle, seriously.
I first pierced my ear in 1982. Back then, dinosaurs roamed the earth and you could still get the shit kicked out of you for having the “wrong” ear pierced. My mom was unbelievable pissed.
When I gradimatriculated, I had both ears pierced multiple times and an 18″ rat tail. No ink though. I could take out the earrings and stuff the tail down my shirt, and got a job anyway.
Does anyone besides me want to break Todd’s finger?
Damn, I was hoping for one of those genital-stimulating RFID implants in my taint.
When I gradimatriculated, I had … an 18? rat tail.
So what, you got a Wasilla license plate to cover the amputation scar?
The cursing isn’t much of a problem. The covering up the tattoo after walking for 20 minutes from the bus station or riding my bike in the humid-ass summer is.
A tattoo like, under a shirt dampened by the humidity? Do I have to ask for the newsletter?
riding my bike in the humid-ass
Ew.
Damn, I was hoping for one of those genital-stimulating RFID implants in my taint.
That’s not so bad–every time you enter a wifi zone or pass by a prox reader you get a little stimulation…
Heading off to the drawing board. Will report findings asap.
So what, you got a Wasilla license plate to cover the amputation scar?
shuddup and let my comments out of moderation at your joint, you fascist.
One little “FUCK” and BANG. Engineers shove you into the moderation camp.
When I gradimatriculated, I had both ears pierced multiple times and an 18? rat tail. No ink though. I could take out the earrings and stuff the tail down my shirt, and got a job anyway.
My first job after graduating was the US ARMY. Keeping my “oh god how I wish I was the lead singer for INXS” hairdo was apparently out of the question. Those bastards just don’t know style when they see it.
My first job after graduating was the US ARMY. Keeping my “oh god how I wish I was the lead singer for INXS” hairdo was apparently out of the question. Those bastards just don’t know style when they see it.
OK, my first job may have been with a psychotic Nazi bigot wife-beater, but you win.
oh god how I wish I was the lead singer for INXS
although few years ago, the job opened up….
One little “FUCK” and BANG. Engineers shove you into the moderation camp.
Nope. Comment on a post older than 7 days. I just changed the threshold to 21 days.
although few years ago, the job opened up….
Yeah–yet another shadowy world of stimulation addiction from a celebrity. Sometimes I’m glad I’m nobody.
OK, my first job may have been with a psychotic Nazi bigot wife-beater, but you win.
Yeesh–that must have been an enlightening experience too. I’m guessing this was some bigshot Republican or something?
break Todd’s finger?
I want to take his whole fist & smack that face-mullet about 500 times.
“Stop hitting yourself!”
Moderation is theft!
Moderation is theft!
But only when practiced to an extreme.
But only when practiced to an extreme.
That’s right–similar to being proud to call oneself a radical centrist, which I do. wait–if that’s ok with you.
if that’s ok with you.
I’ll respond when you’re out of moderation.
Freedom isn’t free. Release me from the clutches of the Krackenmoderation!
I first pierced my ear in 1982. Back then, dinosaurs roamed the earth and you could still get the shit kicked out of you for having the “wrong” ear pierced. My mom was unbelievable pissed.
Jeez, that’s weird. That’s the year I pierced my ear. And yes, it’s the right one and by that, I mean the left.
although few years ago, the job opened up….
WTH?! JD Fortune is the lead singer of INXS again!
That’s the year I pierced my ear. And yes, it’s the right one and by that, I mean the left.
Yor mom didn’t notice because she was getting pierced herself.
Yor mom didn’t notice because she was getting pierced herself.
I was also moved out of the house and working a job.
That’s the year I pierced my ear.
Only one? Poseur.
…and working a job.
You know who else was working a job? Your mom.
Only one? Poseur.
Dude, I’ve worked in banking most of my life.
You know who else was working a job? Your mom.
Not hard enough, apparently. The bitch.
You know who else was working a job? Your mom.
More like 100 ‘jobs. Per day.
Now comes the shocking news that Alaska First Dude Todd Palin has augmented his grey matter with cybernetic brain implants!
Really? I just heard that he only had penis enlargement surgery…
So he got a head job and no one can tell. SAD.
I pierced my own ears with a stick pin. When were stick pins in, ’82-84? Sometime in there. Twice.
I pierced my own ears with a stick pin
my first one was in a mall earring stall with a staplegun. After that, on the two subsequent holes, I used the piercing stud and just jammed it through. was a punk, after all.
News: TBogg is crashing for 3 weeks, at least that’s the official story.
Boy, am I glad I am a low level blogger with no readers, cuz I don’ need to make appy-pologies for shutting the thing down for undefined periods.
“Low-level?” Be nice to yourself. And you seem to forget your Cob.
Still, no TBogg or Megatron for wks., where to go for intentional & unintentional humor?
Really, this “I’m off the grid for a while” shtick is a pathetic plea for attention, though it does keep the frenzied email (“R U DED?”) from stalkers to a minimum.
And you seem to forget your Cob.
Some zombie viagra will take care of that lapse of memory.
where to go for intentional & unintentional humor?
I would suggest some Blog from LA.
Some zombie viagra will take care of that lapse of memory.
I fail to see where draining the blood from the brain in favor of another organ will improve the brain’s performance.
I fail to see
“If you notice a sudden decrease in hearing or vision because your eyes and ears are blocked by your enhanced PENIS, call your doctor immediately.”
Brain Implants?
Cantalopes, if the picture is any guide.
draining the blood from the brain in favor of another organ will improve the brain’s performance
Methinks ZRM is more concerned about nutritional value than performance.
Yeah, but draining the blood will make the brain kosher.
What about halal?
What what now? I’m sorry, but your speech is muffled by your enormous penis.
I’m sorry, but your speech is muffled by your enormous penis.
The fellow on the C train told me to go fuck myself, and since I’ve found that I’m not limber enough for the act, I thought I could at least partly comply through auto-fellatio.
Ah, so now he’s awake in a puddle of vomit.
Ah, so now he’s awake in a puddle of vomit.
If only it were a C composed of R-1 cars – which taken out of service when I was maybe 12 – the rattan seats could have soaked up the excess moisture.
were, too.
auto-fellatio.
Is this another form of the frequently-encountered invitation to “inhale from the exhaust pipe”?
I would suggest some Blog from LA.
Here’s one.
OMFG! WTH is that
doll? Weatherman from STORMWATCH?If so, I am sooooo jealous.
Smut, sounds like you’re describing something along the lines of inhaling swamp gases.
Maybe if you’re really flexible?
ciberbionic brane stuff or whatever? No.
I’m fairly sure that what you see is the result of a child actually being encouraged to eat those paint chips.
Is this another form of the frequently-encountered invitation to “inhale from the exhaust pipe”?
Yes, or perhaps and order to “drop and give me one”.
OMFG! WTH is that doll? Weatherman from STORMWATCH?
Lobot
OMFG! WTH is that doll? Weatherman from STORMWATCH?
Lobot
Ohhhh, so Jim Lee just cold ripped off the character design from Star Wars?
And nobody sued. And he got paid real money for this. And nobody sued. And he got paid. Definitely will need the name of his demon raiser.
He borrowed the uniforms and transporter from Star Trek: The Next Generation. It’s nice to know that he and Brandon Choi were dedicated to bipartisanship.
Wow, you know, this is really starting to piss me off… (yeah, sorry, big Trek fan but was never that steeped in Wars lore; actually, my mother had banned it from the house so I didn’t even see the movies until the rerelease).
So THAT’s why STORMWATCH was never all that popular; it was just derivative crap. And here I kind of thought it was halfway okay for stuff that reads like angsty fanfic with distorted 90’s comics bodies and too many lines (a la Robbie Liefeld). I mean, actually I liked it.
Now I’m ashamed of myself.
The Warren Ellis run was okay, though. I’m not totally in love with it but at least the characterization was quite good and there were actually funny jokes. (Death to the uniform tailors!)
This was before Warren Ellis peaked and then started repeating himself endlessly. Wow, is he even working any more?
…waiting for internet fandom famewhore Warren Ellis to turn up on this thread to defend himself.
Just for the record: Tokyo Storm Warning SUCKED. Worst $10 I ever spent for the mini and then I couldn’t unload them on another sucker for any price. Imagine having a splitting headache and then some asshole kicks you in the ‘nads. Yeah. It was like that.
I’m waiting for Andrew Sullivan’s next psychotic break on the subject of Sarah, and the breast-thing will drive him closer to terminal clinical nutjobbery. BTW, there are now bras which enlarge, uplift, and otherwise improve the appearance of young women in t-shirts—my 21-year old model daughter tells me. [She models for an agency, as well as being a great kid.]
Tina Brown’s Feminazi coda to her failed career stateside suggests she should retire back to Blighty for rehab on both mental and physical fronts. The New Yorker staff still snicker at this tart’s wanting to put lipstick on their pig!
Crier has fallen a long way from rational thinking and now evidently believes that success in business is a liability in politics because, apparently, political hack/sluts like Boxer and Pelosi are soooo much better at legislation. What a fall from grace!
Crier has fallen a long way from rational thinking …
Yes, but who ever listened to Ducky Boy on politics in the first place?
Does anyone besides me want to break Todd’s finger?
THANK YOU. I needed that validation.
When I was in third grade there was a boy with a rat tail and a pierced ear. All the girls thought he was sooooo dreamy. This would mean a fashion time lag of 6-7 years, which is about right…I was still rocking the neons in 1992.
the rattan seats could have soaked up the excess moisture.
Man, I remember those. They used to be on every IND train line. The last lines to have them were the ones to the beaches, like the A and the Q, for precisely the reason you cite: the seats would keep the sand and salt off the floor. Finally, only the C had them cuz, well, you know, that line only served the brown people.
BTW, there are now bras which enlarge, uplift, and otherwise improve the appearance of young women in t-shirts
Not just the young ones.
Does anyone besides me want to smell Todd’s finger?
Big smile…the snow machine and math were fracking GREAT…yay SN!