What God Hath Joined Together, Make No Man Safe From Saunders

ginger snaps
Above: “Debra J. Saunders, post-Truth-In-Advertising compliance”

Shorter Debra “J is for Justice” Saunders, Clown Hall:
All cog, no machine; all check, no balance

  • What kind of a country is this where we can’t quasi-legally deport one single drug addict? Well, it turns out we can, but that didn’t stop me from calling up his wife and young child and harassing them.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™


 

Comments: 116

 
 
 

Nobody get out of the boat.

…that didn’t stop me from calling up his wife and young child and harassing them.

True. Could the SPLC register clownhall as a hate site?
~

 
 

Wingnut complains that the government doesn’t work… yawwwwwwn.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

This is a nice boat. It’s warm and cozy. The thought of going into that swamp scares me. I could get a disease or something. I volunteer for watch duty.

 
Spengler Dampniche
 

I am going nowhere near this one. Oh look, sparkles!

 
 

Well, I can think of one drug addict I’d like to see deported but I don’t think she was talking about Limbaugh.

 
 

As a San Franciscan, I must apologize for the sick, twisted San Francisco values promoted by the likes of Debra Saunders (who, I believe, got her start as a Chronicle columnist) and Michael Savage.

 
 

When you look at government… engines that used to work smoothly now are sputtering.

Perhaps that’s because one of the political parties is doing everything it can to obstruct as many government functions as possible.

It’s strange she didn’t mention that.

 
 

Scratch a conservative find a fascist. That is all.

 
A Concerned Citizen
 

Let me ask you liberals a simple question

Uh… no. Nobody gave you permission. You are the illegal alien here. Nobody wants you here. Unlike real illegal aliens, you contribute nothing of value to the community and there is no rational argument for why you should still be here.
If illegal aliens were as awful human beings as you are, there would be very little debate over the issue.

I thought right wingers encouraged people to stay with their own people and not intermingle.

 
Col. Richard Hindrance (Mrs)
 

You got any other conversational topics, apart from your obsessive schtick about “illegal aliens,” Mr Neck? Any at all?

Anything?

I reckon you *love* illegal aliens, the way you go on about them like that.

Yeah you do. You want to love them always.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Nobody get out of the boat.

I can see from here that those “mangoes” are actually POOP.

 
 

great photo gallery New England Redneck. looks like you just photoshopped over a bunch of high school car washes. still want to secede from America? will you still buy produce from us even if illegals still pick it? might want to take over one of the grain belt states if not. just looking out. seig heil snootchie bootchies.

 
 

we have the right … to decide who can and cannot come into our country.

I disagree. Our Constitution gives everyone the right to ejaculate freely.

 
 

Let me ask you…

Teh answer is no, parody troll. You were funnier when you stuck to questions about rabid pelicans.
~

 
 

Ugh. I got out of the boat. She really did call his wife and harangue her. Jesus Christ.

The comments are ugly, too. Apparently our buddy Redneck comments over there, using a different name. Carping about how the most dangerous thing to be in America is an educated white male, because, you know, if you commit a crime, they assume you know what your lawyer is saying to you. So unfair!

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Could somebody please bring a new troll to play with? This one’s terribly dull and smells like Astroglide and unwashed socks.

 
 

When you’re an imbecile, it always helps to start an argument with a misstatement of what your (perceived) opponent thinks. NewEnglandRedneck is an imbecile.

 
 

so how do you’d get your “redneck”? working outside? farming? truck driving? only asking cuz im bored.

 
Mid-Atlantic Redneck, but not like Pennsylvania or New Jersey, because that's too far north, but if it's just Maryland and Delaware that's kind of small, isn't it?
 

Hey liberals, blarg. Hey liberals, blarg. Hey liberals, blarg.

Caress my post, libs! Niave.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

You sure have been posting a lot lately. Trying to get all your zingers in before they ban you from the library for looking at kiddie porn?

 
 

love the “Soverign Nation” stuff. makes me feel all manly and some chest hair grew in when the goosesteps….i mean goosebumps went away. i don’t. and agree (there are laws on the books already). but when you throw in rampant racists with their daddy’s hunting rifles wandering the borders with a little too much Natty Light and dip then i think my answers will start to change.

 
 

gary coleman was a security guard. hope you didn’t marry a redhead to match that redneck. “911 what’s your emergency?” …ouch.

 
Lurking Canadian
 

When will I learn to trust the shorter? When will I learn that no summary, no matter how outlandish, is an unfair representation of the original? My two-year old learned not to touch lightbulbs after only one incident. He is clearly the smart one in the family.

I would address the troll’s question, but if I do, I’m afraid Brandi will yell at me and say something disgusting involving Cheeto dust, so I refrain.

Also FWYP. It is everybody else who is posting too quickly, not I.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I am a Redneck in the sense that I am a typical hardworking, White, Christian, Conservative male who enjoys hunting, fishing, guns, pickup trucks, football and all of the essential Americana mayonnaise-sandwich eating jackass who’s desperately grasping on the last straws of his ill-deserved and mostly mythical supremacy.

 
 

oh…no. you answer a few questions now. do you support the CofCC’s statement of principles, which condemns racial integration, immigration by non-Europeans and interracial marriage?

 
 

I live near S.F., too, and Deb Saunders is your cross to bear if you read the SF Chronicle– a right wing disinformation specialist who uses distortion and outright lies in her columns. Some memories of past columns:
Last Friday, saying the activists killed on the Turkish ship taking aid to Gaza were actually violent, some terrorists, some pro-terrorist, and thus we should be glad they were murdered by the Israelis. Also that there was no humanitarian crisis in Gaza.
Several columns supporting pardons for the Border Patrol agents who shot an unarmed Mexican pot smuggler running away from them on the other side of the border in the ass, then lying about it in official reports, after they were successfully prosecuted. It’s okay if you abuse your authority and break the law if you are shooting brown people, accd. to Saunders.
A zealot for the Iraq war of aggression from day one. Lied about the nonexistent WMD w/ the best of them and sneered at and ridiculed those who were correct that Cheney et al were lying. Continues to support the Iraq war, wrote columns about how noble it was during the period of greatest slaughter and mayhem without an ounce of irony or conceding that there was any problem whatsoever.
Demonizes opponents w/ cutesy right wing neologisms: Teachers who don’t belong to right wing think tanks are “educrats.” Europeans who do not adopt the Empire’s Kill all the Wogs policies or provide decent health care to their populations are “Our Betters in Europe.” Etc.
A global warming denier. Dozens of columns saying the science is “unclear”, that evil lefty scientists have made it all up, etc.
Not pro-Law and Order when it comes to: laws prohibiting torture (if done by US officials), illegal gov’t wiretapping, etc. Supports SF attempts to criminalize the homeless, make it illegal to ask for a handout, sit on a sidewalk, etc.
Claims not to hate gays personally (is a columnist in SF, after all) but understands why “decent” people are disgusted at overt displays of homosexuality, supports stigmatizing and 2nd class citizenship for gays like any good Republican.
Whoever brought up Scooter Libby, yeah, she supported that pardon too. IOKIYAR.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I’m afraid Brandi will yell at me and say something disgusting involving Cheeto dust,

It’s probably too late for the disgusting Cheeto dust comment, my friend. Hell, as far as we know, Brandi enjoys trolling people for feeding trolls so much that she’s NER.

 
 

troll feeding. sorry. i also stop and move turtles off the road.

 
 

Déjame hacerte una pregunta simple liberales y ver si está lo suficientemente valiente para contestarme.

¿Por qué los liberales defienden el derecho inexistente de extranjeros ilegales a permanecer en este país? La ley de la tierra es bastante clara en este asunto. Señala que estos ilegalmente en este país deben ser deportados a sus países de origen. Estados Unidos es una nación sovergein, tenemos el derecho a la protección de nuestras fronteras y para decidir quién puede y quién no puede entrar en nuestro país.

Así que mi pregunta a usted los liberales es la siguiente. ¿Por qué defender los derechos inexistentes de extranjeros ilegales a vivir aquí y la negativa del gobierno para actuar en este asunto, cuando la ley es muy clara sobre qué hacer con los extranjeros ilegales?

 
 

Brandi enjoys trolling people for feeding trolls so much that she’s NER.

this seems like a reasonable hypothesis.

Personally, I think anybody that’s willing to pull up stakes and hop the border to an unknown country in order to provide for a better life for their family, ought to be given a fair shot at citizenship.

Hell, they’ve already worked harder and risked more than authoritarian knob-gobbling weasel-rapers like NER.

 
New England Liberal Elitist
 

Oh noes! Defense attorneys can make arguments on behalf of their clients now? How will justice be done? Surely an adversarial system of justice wasn’t Original Intent (Extra Crispy Intent?). Maybe if they hadn’t miranda-ized Mark Matute he wouldn’t have been magically granted the right to an attorney (that’s where it comes from, right?) and things could have gone more smoothly. Also, this machine has too many parts. Let’s take some out so it’ll run better. That’s how machines work, right?

 
 

Looks like the faux-redneck’s comments got scrubbed. I always miss all the fun.

 
The Kid from Kounty Meath
 

Awww, New England Blueballs is gone. I look forward to learning that he’s NVNCBL. LLLLLLLLLLL, alllllllllllso.

 
 

I dove into the stupid at Conservapedia. I know they like to make shit up but this is just strange.

http://www.conservapedia.com/Essay:Conservapedia%27s_Law

 
 

I always miss all the fun.

You really didn’t miss much. He wasn’t even very good at the long-winded copypasta.

 
 

wow, that’s unusual, to actually scrub a troll’s comment instead of simple disemvowelment. Must have been extra-vile today.

 
 

Erm, isn’t Debra forgetting that drugs are pretty awesome?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Erm, isn’t Debra forgetting that drugs are pretty awesome?

I have a feeling that Debra is reflexively anti-anything awesome.

 
 

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=97531877

The U.S. government deports hundreds of thousands of illegal immigrants to Mexico each year, and the majority of them are dropped just across the border.

In the past, many of these migrants would immediately try to cross back into U.S. But now, with the economic downturn and beefed-up security measures along the border, an increasing number are saying it’s not worth the trouble.

The streets of Nogales, Sonora, just across Arizona’s southern border, are crawling with deportees. Some of them are covered in prison and gang tattoos. Others are down-on-their-luck men who used to do construction work in California or wash dishes in Chicago. Many are sleeping on the streets.

 
 

TruculentandUnreliable

I feel Debra is one of those people who will lie on their deathbed and regret not having fun when they had the chance. They spend most of their lives resenting people who have had fun at some point in their lives.

If the Gods say otherwise my Glastonbury 1997 story proves the Gods wrong – you get better outcomes from having a laugh when younger.

 
 

Oh god, why did I get off the boat? The quinine does nothing! Nothing! And I think I may have accidently drunk the mercurochrome when my fever spiked. But the trip was not in vain — behold:

…..Kind of makes one yearn for the days of frontier justice when the time between the guilty verdict and the rope depended on how long it took to build the gallows …..COLOSSUS

Fuck yeah, instant justice! Respect the badge! I AM THE LAW!!!

I know I’m repeating myself from a previous thread — I blame the swamp fever — but it’s truly remarkable how these clowns can cry out for a repressive, murderous police state and then go back to shrieking about liberal tyranny without apparent irony.

 
 

The streets of Nogales, Sonora, just across Arizona’s southern border, are crawling with deportees. Some of them are covered in prison and gang tattoos. Others are down-on-their-luck men who used to do construction work in California or wash dishes in Chicago. Many are sleeping on the streets.

Even more disaffected bodies for the drug lords to try to recruit from?

After all, organized crime thrives on poverty just as much as big, “legitimate” corporations do. Not the only thing they have in common, either.

 
 

Over at NPR I was actually looking for a story I heard, a first-person documentary of a guy deported to (I think) El Salvador. He didn’t speak Spanish.

 
 

It’s good to see you posting, Mister Leonard Pierce.

 
 

I protest! This site not fair to lazy West Coasters!! Missed whatever horror cretin posted.

How ’bout giving it its own page where we can marvel in disgust?

Though if it was more mere Control+C crap, more power to the deletion thereof. Talk about a waste of electrons!

 
 

Found next door to gc m’s equally bizarre Constipedia linky:

Each year the English language develops about a thousand new words. The King James Version of the Bible contains only about 8,000 different words, and many good words have developed since then.
The inevitable triumph of conservatism over liberalism is apparent from comparing the rates of generation of new terms of each type, and the quality of the terms so generated. Conservative terms are being generated at a faster rate, and with much higher quality, than liberal terms are.

I’m assuming this has something to do w/ home-schoolingscholen.

 
 

Due to the circumstances of my birth, and some confusion at the state department I never cared enough to completely resolve, if I ever get in serious trouble, I may be able to be deported to Belgium rather than get sent to prison. I hope I never get in that much trouble, I speak neither French nor Flemish.

 
 

Best new conservative words? ick. We liberals are working double shifts to come of with terms that accurately describe the fresh horror of new and time ‘honored’ conservative ideas. for example the term ‘Batshit insane’ must have been coined to describe some form of Reaganomics, or Central american foreign policy.

 
 

There is evidence that many words existed in the English language in the early seventeenth century which were not included in the King James Version. Some of these words are extremely naughty. To the best of my memory, none of the naughty ones appeared in The Communist Manifesto, or what I read of Das Kapital, but can they be found in The Fountainhead? Any lexicographers round here who are familiar with that?

 
The Kid from Kounty Meath
 

Well, didn’t Jake “Keep me from reproducing by tying my vas deferentia in” Knotts just generate one of the more popular conservative terms?

 
Lurking Canadian
 

Conservative terms are being generated at a faster rate, and with much higher quality, than liberal terms are.

Doubleplusgood bellyfeel, party member!

 
 

“Matute was 4 months old when he legally entered the United States from the Philippines 37 years ago. In March 2005, he pleaded no contest to a burglary charge in San Mateo, Calif. ”

So. At four months, he couldn’t even crawl over the border. It’s funny how she says this as if he had some kind of agency, at the time. Oh what a difference 4 months makes. Had he been born here, he couldn’t legally be deported. IMO, sending him back to the Philippines makes about as much sense as sending him back to the womb. Carrying on about him not being sent back quickly enough is just weird.

Do these wing-nuts really believe that they have such an opinion out of love of the letter of the law? Or do they believe that there is some kind of birth mojo going on here?

 
 

IMO, sending him back to the Philippines makes about as much sense as sending him back to the womb.

They’d never do that. If he was sent back to the womb, he’d be a special snowflake in need of protection from roving bands of abortionists.

 
 

I wish someone had told me; my conservative term has sucked every inch of the way. This one Hungarian guy who made me his prag always makes me wear my black hat and let him call me “Keyser Soze”.

 
 

Love Clown Hall’s latest “poll”

Who do you trust most to handle the Gulf oil leak?
The Obama administration (1 %)
British Petroleum (58 %)

If McMaverick and Palin were in charge, they’d get all the votes.

 
 

Love Clown Hall’s latest “poll”

Who do you trust most to handle the Gulf oil leak?
The Obama administration (1 %)
British Petroleum (58 %)

If McMaverick and Palin were in charge, they’d get all the votes.

That one percent was me – I saw the poll and clicked “Obama” before I even thought “wait a minute, this is a conservative site, why am I bothering?”

And that wasn’t so much a vote of confidence in the Obama administration as a vote of no confidence in big oil. No matter how many problems Obama may have, he can’t possibly do worse than BP has.

 
 

Who do the other 41% back?

 
 

Neither Obama Admin or BP (35 %)
Both in conjunction (6 %)

 
 

Neither Obama Admin or BP

“We trust no one to address this crisis. We’ve thought of nothing and are all out of ideas.”

 
 

From Balloon Juice

“Republican whinefest about Paul McCartney is one of the best things to happen politically in years. Epic waaaah.”
http://www.balloon-juice.com/2010/06/06/epic-waaaah/

too funny.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Over at NPR I was actually looking for a story I heard, a first-person documentary of a guy deported to (I think) El Salvador. He didn’t speak Spanish.

If we’re talking about the same story, I believe that the man was a legal immigrant from El Salvador or the descendant of legal immigrants…and he was deported to Mexico.

 
 

Hey, who photoshopped the shaggy red wig onto that dude’s head?

 
Lurking Canadian
 

Conservative terms are being generated at a faster rate, and with much higher quality, than liberal terms are.

I’m sorry to bring this up again, but the more I think about it, the more it’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard in my life. What makes a word “conservative” or “liberal”? What makes a word “high quality”?

Is there anything these people won’t make into a dick measuring contest?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

“Republican whinefest about Paul McCartney is one of the best things to happen politically in years. Epic waaaah.”

That’s pretty great. Next he’s going to throw a hissy over the communist-sounding lyrics “the love you take is equal to the love you make.”

 
 

Is there anything these people won’t make into a dick measuring contest?

Actual dicks. They hide theirs.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Is there anything these people won’t make into a dick measuring contest?

A dick measuring contest.

Because they know they’ll lose.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Damn you, N__B!

 
 

I heard that zrm loves Bay City Rollers or Bachman Turner Overdrive.

 
 

Who do the other 41% back?

The Sierra Club, duh.

 
 

Damn you, N__B!

Too late.

 
 

“Republican whinefest about Paul McCartney is one of the best things to happen politically in years. Epic waaaah.”

Hey, hey!

P.S. I heard that zrm loves Bay City Rollers or Bachman Turner Overdrive.

ZRM loves Mekons.
~

 
 

Randroid Paul says he’s the Martin Luther King of today, striving to overcome the evils of smoking bans and nutritional labeling requirements for restaurant menus. SRSLY.

 
Lurking Canadian
 

Okay, I take it back. Martian Buddy’s linked article is the stupidest thing I’ve ever read.

 
 

Can I just offer a hearty YAY!!! to see Mr. Leonard Pierce posting here again? It was just a few days ago I was lamenting how he’s been so rarely seen of late.

Maybe he still loves us after all.

 
 

Actual dicks. They hide can’t see theirs.

Fiƒqued for anatomical justice.

 
 

vacuumslayer said,

June 7, 2010 at 1:10 (kill)

I heard that zrm loves Bay City Rollers or Bachman Turner Overdrive.

well, THAt was just un-called for.

 
 

Saunders. Ugh. She lives in San Francisco and writes for the damn Chronicle (which at one point, some 20 years ago, was a half-decent paper). And that makes her SO OPPRESSED to have to live among the damn hippies.

 
 

The two Conservapedia pages were evidently conceived of and written by Andy Schafly, son of Phyllis, founder of Conservapedia, dedicated homeschool teacher, and raving loon. You can see Andy in action on the talk pages, here and here. He does not take kindly to criticism.

– – – – – – –

It’s good to see you posting, Mister Leonard Pierce

Amen to that.

 
 

Andy Schlafly really is a small Goebbels of a man, isn’t he?

 
 

Fiƒqued for anatomical justice.

I’d guess that few of those with fixed anatomies feel there was justice involved.

 
 

That Conservapedia link is sweet. The inevitability on that page is so thick you need a machete to hack through it.

Their tone sure reminds me a lot of PRAVDA circa 1982:

Over the long term, politics and culture cannot withstand the more powerful forces of logic and language.

Obviously they’ve yet to sully their beautiful minds by cracking open a history book. Almost everyone uses logic selectively in service of their personal politics, & language isn’t duking it out with culture, it’s a byproduct of culture (see LOLspeak). But I bet that sentence felt REALLY REALLY AWESOME to type, so it’s all good.

 
 

I wonder what she said about the Libby pardons.

Here’s what blows my mind. The other day I was agitating the special needs wingnuts at wizbangblog.com with facts – no defense for it, I’m just cruel – and I mentioned the Libby pardons like you did.

The response? “Libby wasn’t pardoned, his sentence was commuted! So you don’t know what you’re talking about.”

I’m like, “So Libby was still guilty, the President he covered up for just didn’t have to serve any time for it? How is that better, exactly?”

That’s probably how she would have responded. The statement’s wrong some nitpicky way, so by the transitive power of inaccuracy the whole statement should be ignored.

 
 

Oh, and my previous comment here, where I should have said “the President he covered up for just made it so Libby didn’t have to serve any time for it?”

That would be proof Obama is a muslim socialisty elitist, of course.

 
 

The King James Version of the Bible contains only about 8,000 different words

It’s an ironcast rule of the Internet, innit. If someone like Schafly says it then it’s wrong. The usual figure is 12,143 different words.

 
 

In all fairness (Just kidding. Bored.) here’s the citation for the Biblical word-count, as I removed the footnote from the quote.

His research led him to ask people how many different words appeared on average in a copy of The Sun newspaper. All respondents came back with a low figure.

The Sun v The Bible

After counting a paper picked from random he found there to be about 8,000.

“That’s the same as the King James version of the Bible.

“It is not very varied and names don’t count but you see, people see headlines like ‘Gotcha!’ and make a judgement.”

A Prof Crystal, quoted by the BBC. How the hell did he get to that for a source?

 
 

“He” above being Andy Schlafly, not the Prof, though we could ask him too.

 
 

I got out of the boat, had great difficulty concentrating on, like, the words and stuff, but I did manage to make it this far:

Besides, as it turns out, Matute was deported last year. Note to self: Sometimes the machine delivers as promised.

The machine delivered, as promised. But goddammit, The Sister Of Ronald P. McDonald shall not be denied her magnificent bitchfest!

 
 

I’m like, “So Libby was still guilty, the President he covered up for just didn’t have to serve any time for it? How is that better, exactly?”

It’s better because he gets to spend all that payoff money with a criminal record! Which is bad. Really bad. That’s like worse than jail.

 
 

That one percent was me – I saw the poll and clicked “Obama” before I even thought “wait a minute, this is a conservative site, why am I bothering?”

Chris Crocker sez:

LEAVE. BP. ALOOOONE!!!!!! GUAHHHHH!!!

 
 

Is there anything these people won’t make into a dick measuring contest?

A dick measuring contest.

Because they know they’ll lose.

BAHHAHAHA! Well played.

 
 

here’s the citation for the Biblical word-count, as I removed the footnote from the quote.

This here concordance has entries for 14564 different words with the extra couple of thousand coming from the Apocryphal books. So on this occasion Prof. David Crystal, who may be a worthy individual of whom the LanguageLog people speak well, has stepped back on his own kumera.

 
 

The streets of Nogales, Sonora, just across Arizona’s southern border, are crawling with deportees. Some of them are covered in prison and gang tattoos. Others are down-on-their-luck men who used to do construction work in California or wash dishes in Chicago. Many are sleeping on the streets.

Abject poverty on our borders will absolutely not become a problem. At least not nearly the huge problem that having illegals mowing lawns and framing houses is, currently.

 
 

Smuuuuttt (whiney voice)

I’m trying to kill this thread! Gosh! What’re you trying to do, ruin my life?

 
 

The machine delivered, as promised. But goddammit, The Sister Of Ronald P. McDonald shall not be denied her magnificent bitchfest!

Maybe I’m being entirely too cynical, but I get the impression that her root grievance is that we didn’t boot the kid right back out of the country when he was 4 months old.

 
 

A participant on one of the Conservapedia talk pages is working on ‘engineering’ the English language in such a way that it will become impossible to reach ‘irrational conclusions’, thereby destroying leftism.

 
 

Lurking Canadian has already picked up on the Newspeak associations.

 
 

A participant on one of the Conservapedia talk pages is working on ‘engineering’ the English language in such a way that it will become impossible to reach ‘irrational conclusions’, thereby destroying leftism.

Ingsoc newspeak doubleplusbad for irrationators!

Conservative terms are being generated at a faster rate, and with much higher quality, than liberal terms are.

“We desperately need new ways to lie” is not something to boast about, really.

 
 

her root grievance

Those roots certainly look aggrieved!

My Ingsoc style book sez: “++,” not “doubleplus.”

Wassamatta you?

 
 

Maybe I’m being entirely too cynical, but I get the impression that her root grievance is that we didn’t boot the kid right back out of the country when he was 4 months old.

Sounds about right–although I was thinking horribly painful yeast infection, so I think your charge of entirely too cynical may be entirely too harsh.

 
 

Or whatever ailment results from girl-fapping to old “dick” Cheney videos.

 
 

A participant on one of the Conservapedia talk pages is working on ‘engineering’ the English language in such a way that it will become impossible to reach ‘irrational conclusions’, thereby destroying leftism.

Holy crap. Does he realize that if he’s successful in in that, he will destroy himself? That’s wingnut neutron bomb, right there.

Rational + Conservative = Undefined. (Like division by zero).

 
Porlock Junior
 

@New England Liberal Elitist —

“Oh noes! Defense attorneys can make arguments on behalf of their clients now? How will justice be done? Surely an adversarial system of justice wasn’t Original Intent (Extra Crispy Intent?).”

Why has this meme not taken over the world? (Or did it while I wasn’t looking?)

I liked Original Intent just fine, but who can resist the Extra Crispy? Or the Bacon and Onion Intent — yummy!

Maybe we can make a comeback, though. Classic Intent, that should sell it.

 
 

The King James Version of the Bible contains only about 8,000 different words

It’s an ironcast rule of the Internet, innit. If someone like Schafly says it then it’s wrong. The usual figure is 12,143 different words.

She probably meant the special wingnut edition, the King Jim-Bob Version. It has a lot of the longer, confusing words removed, along with that stuff about kindness and charity.

 
 

Schafly doesn’t seem to have heard of these “concordance” things that bible scholars use, which index every unique word used in a given bible translation.

I know it shouldn’t surprise me that some shitweasel who wants the whole of his country to be governed by the precepts of his preferred Holy Bok should be so feckin’ ignorant of the actual contents of the Holy Bok. Still, Smut = Surprised.

 
 

She probably meant the special wingnut edition
You know Conservapedia’s actually working on that, right?

 
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon
 

Doubleplusgood bellyfeel, party member!

That’s exactly what I wound up thinking, too. Maybe the reason there’s such an explosion of “conservative” words is because you motherfuckers have to keep inventing new words to cover up the intrinsic ugliness of what you want to say.

 
 

The correspondent with the argument about ‘engineering’ the English language in such a way that it will become impossible to reach ‘irrational conclusions’” has the excuse of possibly being a liberal infiltrator who is fully aware of the Orwellian precedents. NOTE: I can’t be arsed following links to read the discussion.

But the original claim (kindly provided by M. Bouffant) that “Conservative terms are being generated at a faster rate, and with much higher quality, than liberal terms are”… Well. That’s not even wrong.

 
 

Isn’t much more at the original than I quoted. It really almost has to be an infiltrator.

NO, WAIT!! Didn’t bother to scroll down until moments ago. It is a list of the “Best New Conservative Words.”

For example:

action-at-a-distance
1693
Newton’s acceptance of this concept — which became fundamental to electrostatics and quantum mechanics and has a basis in Christianity[2] — was central to the development of his theory of gravity.[3] Einstein criticized this concept as “spooky”.

Here is where they lose me:

local
1824[37]
common usage: “all politics is local”

At this stage it’s between infiltrator & sadly sincere 11-yr. old precocious conserva-genius.

Find your favorites.

 
 

New conservative words:
Enhanced Interogation
WMD
Wide Stance
Hiking the Appalacian Trail
Teabagger
Moran

Old reliable liberal word:
Wingnuts

 
 

Dammit!!! I just looked over Schafly’s list and found that I use a very large percentage of the ‘conservative’ words fairly regularaly. I’m a Goddamned closet conservative. Sorry guys, I have to go over to the Red State blog noe. (hangs head in shame)

 
 

Well, it turns out we can, but that didn’t stop me from calling up his wife and young child and harassing them.

That should be a deportable offense. What an asshole.

 
A Concerned Citizen
 

A participant on one of the Conservapedia talk pages is working on ‘engineering’ the English language in such a way that it will become impossible to reach ‘irrational conclusions’, thereby destroying leftism.

Portrait of Ludwig Wittgenstein as a young douchebag?

Fun fact: amateur philosophy has killed millions of times more people than amateur brain surgery.

 
 

I didn’t read the article linked here, but it reminded me of something:
If I remember correctly, I read an article written by Saunders when I was still living in the Bay area. It was about her opposition to marijuana but she might be changing her mind because she had a friend who needed it for medical purposes. And I thought at the time how telling that was of the her – it’s all bad until someone that she cares about needs it and then it’s all good for that individual but everyone else be damned (still).

 
 

Concerned Citizen: “Fun fact: amateur philosophy has killed millions of times more people than amateur brain surgery.”

That’s because the average person does not feel qualified, without training or practice, to perform brain surgery.

 
 

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