Hey Mr. Taliban, Tally Me Banana
With mine hammer Mjolnir, I say thee NAY!
Brad Thor, Big Journalism:
Where’s Waldo? Newsweek One Step Behind ‘Big’ Sites on Mullah Omar Story
With mine hammer Mjolnir, I say thee YE-E-ESSS?
On Friday, Newsweek “We Are All Socialists Now” Magazine published an article entitled, “Taliban in Turmoil.”
It seemed unlikely that there’d be any followup to the Mullah Omar story, so crashingly had Mr. Thor fallen from limb to limb in his descent from his treehouse and into our, you know, good cheer.
But we looked and there one was, only a few days old and unlikely to have lost any breaking-news value, wink-ahem. The tone was approaching a harried note characteristic of what was called ‘kook literature‘ before the Internet mainstreamed the kooks, and Thor had apparently given up reporting the story in order to yell at Newsweek in much the way that Lenny Bruce gave up comedy to read excerpts of his court transcripts.
In it they report:
Dissension has broken out in the top ranks of Afghanistan’s Taliban. The group has muddled along without an operational head since February, when Mullah Mohammed Omar’s second in command, Mullah Abdul Ghani Baradar, was arrested in Karachi, Pakistan… But now a claimant to Baradar’s position has emerged—and at least some senior Taliban chiefs are seriously questioning whether he should have the job.
We reported this a full two weeks ago, but let’s not let that get in the way of our enjoyment of the Newsweek piece.
Yeah, deeply involved in Scientology, all the way through The Brothers Karamazov. I’m listing places we’ll never end up. Uh, the one Thor’s in right up there. On top of Old Smoky or spaghetti all covered in snow or cheese. Walking a mile in some dude we don’t understand’s moccasins.1
The claimant is Mullah Gul Agha Akhund, “an in-law and long term confidant of Mullah Omar’s.” Apparently, senior officials — including Omar’s top military commander, Abdul Qayum Zakir — are skeptical of Gul Agha’s claim to power. What’s more, Gul Agha’s claim is sowing doubt and confusion throughout the Taliban’s ranks.
That can’t be good for the bad guys.
So it’s bad for the good guys! No wait, logic puzzle. It’s bad or indifferent for the good, bad, or indifferent guys?
Well, one thing we’re sure of: If his present course is not misunderstood, Gul Agha is liable in the future to reap doubt and confusion throughout the Taliban’s ranks. Uncorrected, he may soon thresh doubt and confusion.
Anyway, we just understand things more objectively than Thor does, because he looks at this struggle for dominance and projects his own values upon it, while we see speciation at work. See, the Mullahs of the Galapagos showed Darwin how different environments could produce mullahs that, while sharing a fairly recent common ancestor, were biologically adapted…eh. Ok bored, next thing.
Newsweek goes on to say that there is yet another claimant named Mullah Mohammad Mansoor, (another fact we also reported two weeks ago). In my report, I stated that Mansoor and Zakir have actually both been fighting for control. But according to Newsweek, it looks now like we’ve got a three-way
WTF?!
race. The obvious…
Oh.
…question here, though, is why is there any race at all?
That’s what Darwin asked in attempting to settle the great ontogenic debate of his day, the one between the theories of monogenism and polygenism. The first is what…ok bored. Wait, that was different from the Darwin thing how?
Cripes. We ought to get that large white rabbit in here with his bowl and milk pitcher, and with his dubiously honest plate of buttered toast and glass of orange juice for a complete breakfast, because he’s probably out like usual, chasing kids around and trying to steal from them — and as we see above, this post is just so totally full of tricks that we should get that rabbit in here to eat some like he always wants to.
Shouldn’t Mullah Omar be handling this?
That’s what I say in the shower sometimes. But then I think of his squinty eye and imagine him going “toot-toot” and popping open a can of spinach in each of his bare hands, then pouring the contents in implausible green arcs into a combined stream down his gullet, chomping with spinach leaves coming out the corners of his mouth, and making a big bicep so that his tattoo of a boat turns into one of a battleship with booming guns, while a steam whistle emits from his pipe. I think of him going “Ag-ag-ag-ag,” and I’m sorry, but this reminds me of Popeye, who also had a squinty eye like that.
Where was I? Oh, here’s that rabbit. Yeah, it’s gotten out of control. Fill this bucket full of milk and take this Army surplus entrenching tool, and I guess we’ll come and check after awhile to make sure you’re still, you know, silly, and to see how that plate of toast and glass of orange juice are holding up.
Shouldn’t Omar speak out, quash the “turmoil,” and settle all of this? One of these guys is his “in-law and long-term confidant” after all.
Wait, as in gay? As in ‘rear admiral,’ if you know what I’m saying,2 and I just said ‘gay’ two seconds ago, so I think that you do? ‘In-law’ is code for their being husbands in the eyes of the law, I think, like ‘homeowner’ is code for owning a house and using it as a kind of gay headquarters.
Hmmmmmmm, I wonder why no one has heard even a peep out of Omar.
He could put a glass eye in and squeak it around. I’m sorry, what was the question?
If you’ve been following my writing, you already know the answer, but I’ll let the ace reporters at Newsweek nibble around the edges and hint at what we’ve been reporting here for the last three weeks.
Oh. Serious for a second here. He’s complaining that Newsweek doesn’t say that Mullah Omar has been captured, when the Newsweek piece is about a three-way of Number Twos. I actually just typed that without realizing it would make me spray coffee on the cat, whose expression said he wasn’t expecting to skid off the table with paws air-galloping to land with an unseen whump on the other cat, who propelled herself into the side of the couch, scrabbled for purchase with her claws, and slid out of view, looking also like she hadn’t anticipated this sequence of events.
What happened to this post? It started with such reasonable intentions, and is now concluding with an eep-wow sound like the Little Rascals wah cake.
Three Taliban sources tell NEWSWEEK they wish Mullah Omar would speak up and settle the leadership question before matters get any worse; with 30,000 U.S. reinforcements arriving on the battlefield, the Taliban desperately need a unified strategy… “No one really knows who is in charge.”
And the reason no one in the Taliban knows who’s in charge is because, as we exclusively reported on May 10th, Mullah Omar has been in Pakistani custody since March.
Or it might be, as we exclusively looked up at Wikipedia, that Omar has long been holed up securely, might have enjoyed the protection of Pakistani intelligence since 2007, and only makes one or two public statements a year, with the number of dispatches and private communiqués totaling duh — as in the number, duh, whose value is defined as whatever you think it is, plus or minus maybe some numbers to correct for things. But sure, it could be like Thor sayeth, or spaketh.
That information is 100% rock-solid and you can take it to the bank.
THOR: Hi, I’d like to make a deposit. It’s 100% rock-solid.
CLERK: It’s not money. Is it a rock?
THOR: A rock is… Yes, it’s 100% solid like one, yes.
CLERK: Look, sir, you can take it to the bank. You can certainly take it here. But when a rock…
THOR: It’s information, not a rock. Very, very hard and certain information from rumors.
SUPERVISOR: Say, what’s the problem over here? Is this guy peddling more of his rocks, sticks, and pine cones?
THOR: Hard, hard information. Pitiless, hard information wrapped in foil. [unwraps foil]
CLERK: OMG poo, I mean excrement.
SUPERVISOR: Fine, sir, you took it to the bank. Now take it to the exit of the bank, and take it a step further.
THOR: I’ll have you know that this deposit is 100% rock solid.
SUPERVISOR: If mine turned 25% rock solid, I’d have a fiber bar or something, jeesh. Hey, I’m just saying.
Title cf. ‘Banana Boat Song,’ and I think I used the title once before, but hey. “With mine hammer Mjolnir, I say thee NAY-O!”
1 There was an anecdote I’d reserved for just such an occasion as the one marked by the superscript ‘1’ up there, but damned if I can remember what that anecdote or occasion might have been. To offer up a random footnote, I’m mildly obsessed with The Housatonic at Stockbridge by Charles Ives: the pentatonic up front doing ironico-affectionate Americanisms, with that sheet-curtain of dissonance behind it…
2 Also cf.
“Is there any point to which you would wish to draw my attention?”
“To the curious incident of the dog in the night-time.”
“The dog did nothing in the night-time.”
“That was the curious incident,” remarked Sherlock Holmes.
…three-way of Number Twos…
Dibs on that for the title of my next album.
Hmmmmmmm, I wonder why no one has heard even a peep out of Omar.
You can always tell real quality journalism by the number of m’s employed in the sardonic demonstrative. A two-m hmm would indicate that the reporter doesn’t have much faith in the accuracy of his story, four m’s is minimal — you see :hmmm’s in Seymour Hersh’s writing all the time, usually in the interrogative form, hmmm? The seven m’s Thor uses here is all the way into Church Lady confidence, so the story must be dead on, and Mullah Omar has been captured .
I know you may only be “mildly obsessed” with the Housatonic at Stockbridge right now, but be warned that this can only lead to the harder stuff, and before you know it you’ll find yourself whistling the Concord Sonata in church.
Why is he fixated on Newsweek? Are they the go-to guys for Mullah Omar status? Do they even have original news reporters anymore or is it just George Will pining about baseball?
CLERK: OMG poo, I mean excrement.
Well, to be fair, a coprolite is legally a rock.
once Newsweek is owned by Newsmax it will be balanced again with facts and logic and not the far left propoganda outlet rfor ProBama
Thank you for placing H. Belafonte in my head. For real, he’s drowning out the other voices.
Also, I do love that this guy is crowing about “reporting” something “two weeks ago” that the BBC and Pakistan’s Daily Times reported two months ago.
One day Senator Mickey Kaus is going to show these guys what journalism is really all about.
“as we exclusively reported”
Nothing speaks truth to power quite like careful use of tags.
Nothing, I tell you.
I swear you’ve used that title before, but I can’t prove it.
If George Will pined about baseball all the time I would loathe him less. Not because I think he is better informed about baseball than economics or politics, although I am certain he knows more baseball facts, than economic, social, historical, or political ones. But rather because, when he invariably draws the absolute wrong conclusions about baseball, all the people he misleads are baseball fans. And statistically, some of the time, those are going to be fans of teams I despise, such as the Red Sox or Braves.
The worst damage a misinformed fan can do is vote for the wrong guy on his or her all start ballot. The average citizen he misinforms about everything other than baseball, is likely going to share that misinformation with others and maybe even vote based on that. Columnists ought to be subject to the same sort of obsessive stats taking that baseball players are. Imagine:
This week, George Will takes on deficit spending, during republican administrations he has come out for deficit spending 79% of the time and during democratic ones, he favors it only 16% of the time. Based on that, I think we have a better than 65% chance his entire column will be partisan bullshit.
When Newsmax buys Newsweek I’m sure the reporting will rise to The Thor’s high standards.
tsam isn’t the only threadsecutioner around here.
zrm still has not disclosed his mystery “B” artist in the other thread. Is anyone else bothered by this? What’s he hiding?
I guess power struggles are an activity unique to the Taliban.
How unseemly of them. We obviously need to bomb more civilization into those ragheads.
it looks now like we’ve got a three-way
WTF?!
Apparently, Gavin is not into hot mullah on mullah on mullah action.
OT: Agonist has a great video posted about the Gulf oil spill
We reported this a full two weeks ago, but let’s not let that get in the way of our enjoyment of the Newsweek piece.
How could Mullah Omar want peace if he was already in captivity, Mightee Thore?
What’s more, Gul Agha’s claim is sowing doubt and confusion throughout the Taliban’s ranks.
Possibly because he’s Cardassian.
You know, World Net Daily has a policy of changing “gay” to “homosexual.” So, if they wrote about Rear Admiral Gay, it would be “Rear Admiral Homosexual.” Also, too, America’s fastest sprinter is “Tyson Homosexual.”
So, if they wrote about Rear Admiral Gay, it would be “Rear Admiral Homosexual.” Also, too, America’s fastest sprinter is “Tyson Homosexual.”
And Michael Savage once called the singer “Marvin Homosexuale”
I did a [url=http://themedandvariations.blogspot.com/2008/11/homage-to-segar.html]portrait[/url] of Mullah Omar a while back.
Gavin, you’re a genius. That is all.
http://themedandvariations.blogspot.com/2008/11/homage-to-segar.html
My portrait of Mullah Omar.
New variation, gang! WordPress didn’t even tell me I was posting too fast! It just swallowed my previous attempt entire. I’m very much hoping it doesn’t show up in ten minutes, thus branding me as “Mr. Double-post,” hence Mr. twice loser.
Nosegays would be nosehomosexuals. Weird.
Off topic, or ON topic for the last threedle:
Someone has actually (with a straight face) broached the idea of NUKING THE OIL SPILL.
http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSN0322640020100603
*brane dribbles out ears as jaw drops onto keyboa nhgdddddddddddddddddddddddd*
Mullah Omar captured? What about the Sultan of Swing? Has Thor done some exclusive reporting, visiting the Baseball Hall of Fame to uncover this fifth columnist in our midsts?
Nosegays would be nosehomosexuals. Weird.
The plane that delivered the atom bomb would be the Enola Homosexual
You know what bugs the shit out of me more than anything? This dude makes his LIVING writing, which is something I’ve wanted most of my life but would consider myself incredibly lucky if I ever get to do it.
Fuck me. Maybe I should just start writing xenophobic, militaristic shit under a male pseudonym.
Someone has actually (with a straight face) broached the idea of NUKING THE OIL SPILL.
Sarah Palin commented on it in connection with her Twits yesterday about a land based drilling and how Russia nuked a leaking well or some such nonsense.
Maybe I should just start writing xenophobic, militaristic shit under a male pseudonym.
…you know, for the kids.
Someone has actually (with a straight face) broached the idea of NUKING THE OIL SPILL.
Oh, yeah. That’s been floating around for a while. It’s sad that it didn’t surprise me in the least.
Nosegays would be nosehomosexuals.
Nosemosexuals?
…you know, for the kids.
I could totes be a YA Brad Thor! At least I could look my LGBT friends in the eye, unlike my previous plan of becoming the next right-wing hottie. Although I would still need to do something about those pangs of guilt for selling out my Muslim friends…
Maybe I should just start writing xenophobic, militaristic shit under a male pseudonym.
Be sure to use a porn star name, that’s part of the equation.
At least I could look my LGBT friends in the eye, unlike my previous plan of becoming the next right-wing hottie. Although I would still need to do something about those pangs of guilt for selling out my Muslim friends…
Build them a mosque with the wingnut welfare checks.
OHNOES! Nikki Haley is a WHORE!
She been talking to DKW’s mom?
Sorry, G, but this post is waaaay too wonky for me.
I prefer Photoshops and toilet jokes.
I mean, we’re talking about freaking wingnuts here.
Trucc u should start writing anti-woman anti-sex screeds that bArely conceal your own sexual frustrations.
I’m liking the way Nikki’s pandering for votes!
Be sure to use a porn star name, that’s part of the equation.
I was thinking “Steve Dong.” Too ethnic?
Build them a mosque with the wingnut welfare checks.
Yeah, that won’t help much when packs of paranoid adolescents roam the streets looking for terrorists to beat up. Damn this conscience of mine!
I was thinking “Steve Dong.” Too ethnic?
Brick Thundercock.
You know, if I was a Taliban/Al Qaeda number three, I’d be trying like mad to get to number two.
OHNOES! Nikki Haley is a WHORE!
EEEEEEEEE! There’s a Moe Lane post about this I so want to read, but it’s not loading!
It’s hard to tell, but at least this guy seems marginally more attractive than the other one, despite his DUI.
That’s the difference between this site and TPM. TPM called her a “man-izer.” Here, she’s just a whore.
Sarah Palin commented on it in connection with her Twits yesterday about a land based drilling and how Russia nuked a leaking well or some such nonsense.
Has she twitted that it might solve Arizona’s border issues?
(This is a rhetorical question that I am afraid will be answered)
From Actor’s link:
He says the tryst with Haley happened two years ago, however he did not offer any proof of the alleged encounter.
Yeah, well Nicki Haley is no Paris Hilton, so what you gonna do?
I’m liking the way Nikki’s pandering for votes!
Makes me want to move to SoCar and register Republican!
“I was thinking “Steve Dong.” Too ethnic?”
How about “Harry Reed?”
Trucc u should start writing anti-woman anti-sex screeds that bArely conceal your own sexual frustrations.
I don’t have any sexual frustrations, though! Do I make them up? Because I’m certainly not going to create them…
Trucc u should start writing anti-woman anti-sex screeds that bArely conceal your own sexual frustrations.
EXcellent! This way, she can piss off the women, who will automatically believe she’s a man, and will have the men raise her on their shoulders without knowing she’s wearing a skirt they can look up!
“I was thinking “Steve Dong.” Too ethnic?”
How about “Harry Reed?”
John Shlongel?
How about “Harry Reed?”
That would be great if it didn’t remind people of, you know, that horrible liberal.
TPM called her a “man-izer.” Here, she’s just a whore.
We’re real Amuricans here. We don’t cotton to them “ne-o-lo-jisms” like that Marshall feller.
“How about “Harry Reed?”
That would be great if it didn’t remind people of, you know, that horrible liberal”
But, see, that’s the beauty of it! Irony…………..oh shit, I forget who your target audience was. Nevermind.
“TruculentandUnreliable said,
June 3, 2010 at 16:02
Trucc u should start writing anti-woman anti-sex screeds that bArely conceal your own sexual frustrations.
I don’t have any sexual frustrations, though! Do I make them up? Because I’m certainly not going to create them…”
if yer gonna pretend to be a bitter wingnut hag you gotta make up some hangups. Think of it as method acting.
I was thinking “Steve Dong.” Too ethnic?
Not bad, maybe needs more German.
Steve von Dong perhaps?
Steven Dongwurst
How about something with a wink-wink, nod-nod? Something like “Roger Titmuffin?”
Trucc u should start writing anti-woman anti-sex screeds that bArely conceal your own sexual frustrations.
Won’t work. Too much competition. K-Lo has that niche covered. Our T&U needs something novel to really stand out.
I will put the ruthless and evil parts of my brain to work on it.
Something like “Roger Titmuffin?”
Phillip N. Snarkandboobs
Too much competition. K-Lo has that niche covered.
yes, but K-Lo is a woman pretending to be a man pretending to be a woman, whereas T&U would just be a woman pretending to be a man.
Unlike Ann Coulter, who is a man pretending to be a woman pretending to be a man. So the possibilities for T&U’s success are endless!
Richard Hertz?
Rocklin Hard?
Ben D. Poll?
D. P Eener?
Steve von Dong perhaps?
Oooh. Close. Maybe a little too evil villain soundy.
So, if I’m picking up on what Breitbleargh’s site is trying to put down here, some article that Newsweak did about what passes for interoffice politics in the Taliban is proof that Mullah Omar is sipping mint tea and playing chess with his Pakistani “captors” instead of minding the store because, otherwise, he would rise from his obsidian throne in his full majesty, surrounded by Kirby Dots, and proclaim, “Silence! For thou will not belabor thy personal disputes in the presence of the Crimson King! So I have spoken, so it shall be done!” And all his minions would genuflect with their right fists pressed against their foreheads and cry, “A thousand pardons, my liege!” Then Omar would stand above them with his left hand outstretched, fingers fanned out, and intone, “Tempt not the wrath of thy regent again! Now, go forth and smite the Green Berets… in my name!”
Or at least it would be if Brad would sack up and live up to his last name, instead of whining about how someone else is trying to crib off of the paper that he made up sources for.
Haas de Cockburn?
To really nail this, we need to see a sample of your work. It should be quite simple. All you have to do is be against any progressive idea and throw in mom, baseball, and apple pie.
I will put the ruthless and evil parts of my brain to work on it.
I had no idea Canadians possessed ruthless and evil brain-parts. You learn something new every day!
whereas T&U would just be a woman pretending to be a man.
Yes, but hm. I’m re-thinking this. Self-loathing male misogynists are a dime-a-dozen in the wingnut world…
GDB. Nailed it.
This is like three VPs jockeying for position after the second-in-command dropped dead of a heart attack. Nothing more, nothing less. The CEO won’t step in until he’s got a good reason to. Which Omar does not.
Self-loathing male misogynists are a dime-a-dozen in the wingnut world…
Yes, but you’d be a parody. Its like how some conservatives (well, until the 2006 Correspondent’s dinner) believed Colbert was sincere and mocking liberals.
Oliver Pantsov
I had no idea Canadians possessed ruthless and evil brain-parts.
Oh, we all have them, we just don’t practice very much with it.
Anyway, whenever one of us learns how to use it, we ship him south. (See: Frum, D.; Black, Lord C.)
Young Boozer….oh wait….
Yes, but you’d be a parody.
So, would this be in the style of Douthat, or more like Goldstein?
Anyway, whenever one of us learns how to use it, we ship him south.
Also, Lightfoot, G.
So, would this be in the style of Douthat, or more like Goldstein?
Yea, but both of them have penises¹. You’d have a different voice.
¹ Despite the fact that one doesn’t use his, and the other puts his in unlikely places for someone who hates women as much as he seems to.
Also, Lightfoot, G.
How could anybody not like The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald? The Rheostatics cover version even includes whalesong!
Sometimes it’s like I just don’t know who you are anymore.
How could anybody not like The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald?
Fuck that. How could anyone not like Sundown? A love song to a hooker?????
You’d have a different voice.
I don’t know. It might be too painful…
How could anybody not like The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald? The Rheostatics cover version even includes whalesong!
Sometimes it’s like I just don’t know who you are anymore.
If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’ve been hanging out with my husband.
OK, why did someone put whalesong in a song about a shipwreck on a freshwater lake?
OK, why did someone put whalesong in a song about a shipwreck on a freshwater lake?
To play the part of the cook.
How could anyone not like Sundown? A love song to a hooker?????
Hate the game, not the player.
Hate the game, not the player.
It just brings back childhood memories, is all.
OK, why did someone put whalesong in a song about a shipwreck on a freshwater lake?
It’s the Rheostatics. They put whalesong in everything, just because they can.
Okay, okay FINE. What about Adams, Bryan?
What about Adams, Bryan?
That’s better.
Or Steyn, M.
Okay, okay FINE. What about Adams, Bryan?
I prefer to think of our offensive cultural exports as the weapons, rather than as the weaponeers.
Like the NRA says: Celine Dion doesn’t kill people. The Canadians who exported Celine Dion kill people.
Max Manhammer
Reddy Load
Gaetan Mise-Johnson
Celine Dion doesn’t kill people.
No, she just makes them claw at their eyes and ears.
Israel Alfred Mann.
I M Allman
Rodney Maxim?
But wait, poop jokes don’t cover that requirement?
I always imagined the toilet’s role in humor as a delivery vehicle for the poop joke, but hey, ‘toilet’s role’ is almost a Shakespearean bathroom-tissue pun right there (cf. Henry V, “Do not…hang a thief”) so I dunno.
Isambard Kingdom Jones.
Lee Harvey Marvin.
Israel Alfred Mann.
You know, Izzy A. Mann.
I crack me up, I do.
Sherwood Dewer
Ian Heroult
John Shaft
Max Bandwidth
Stumpy Johnson
Booty Canoodle
D. Angling Participle
Zara Thruster
Ian Heroult
You know, this is my favorite so far. It has a nice subtlety to it.
T. U. Bonecatcher
I don’t have any sexual frustrations, though! Do I make them up? Because I’m certainly not going to create them…”
Hi, speaking of creating sexual frustrations, have you met Actor212?
You know, this is my favorite so far.
Quelle surprise.
Anyways, where was I?
The Notorious B.I.G.C.O.C.K.
Sir Fucksalot
Ariel Güd-Leigh
Randy
Stretch Hersnatch
Lon Hardwon
Ben Derrover
Jimmy Driver
Thor Sammershard
But wait, poop jokes don’t cover that requirement?
Semantics. Poop jokes, toilet jokes, bathroom humor, dick jokes – I think they all describe the same basic thing.
Also – I. P. Daley
Hi, speaking of creating sexual frustrations, have you met Actor212?
I have no idea what you’re talking about…
Cat Stroker
Angus Screwer
Richard Long
Fun fact: The actor, Richard Long, played the same character, Rex Randolph, on three different TV series, Bourbon Street Beat, 77 Sunset Strip, and Hawaiian Eye.
Take that, Trebek!
Hi, speaking of creating sexual frustrations, have you met Actor212?
Misery loves company, what can I say?
P. L. Driver
Dick Stokes
Richard “Dick” Packer
F. G. Packer
Olive Herbert
Sascha Bhigwan
Rip Eric Tom
Clem Splitter
With a final flourish of his knife the leather aproned Ripper finished with his victim. Rising to his feet he looked once more upon the horrible carnage he had inflicted. With a twist of his body he turned and walked away, disappearing into the swirling mists of Soho. As the darkness fell on the pathetic corpse slumped in the doorway, his words echoed back against the slimed cobblestones of the filthy alley:
‘Now that’s how you kill a thread.’