Always. Trust. The. Shorter? ™

What the fuck is an Alyssa Cordova? Is she made of soft Corinthian leather?

Oh, fuck no. I am staying in the boat, even if it’s shaped like a fucking dinosaur.

Scalia Represents Women Better than Kagan

For one thing, he wears skirts and has sexier legs.

Is she made of soft Corinthian leather?

More importantly, was she stroked by Ricardo Montalbon?

Read the third article.. wow. Usually the “shorter” summaries are somewhat snarky versions of the original point, but that is actually EXACTLY what she is saying.

I can’t tell if she’s stupid or just cynical and plying her gullible audience.

Tch. If there were only one food store and it offended us we would LIBERATE IT IN THE NAME OF THE PEOPLE! I swear, some people just don’t get it.

Here’s the funny thing about the whole “free market” thing.

Liberals don’t hate the free market. Hell, we ARE the free market! We’re the innovators who brought you computers and technology and made start up software companies because we found a need and filled it with no thought, at first, of getting rich but of helping people get past an obstacle or a need they faced.

What we hate is what the conservatives *believe* is the free market: the unfettered collusion between Big Businesses to deprive open competition and lower barriers to entry.

You know, the stuff that even Adam Smith warned we needed government oversight to protect.

And if Randians really want to Go Galt, I’ve often wondered why they simply don’t become prostitutes, since prostitution is the ultimate expression of Randian thought: selling yourself to the highest bidder.

Boy, there’s just a wealth of grammar fail in my last post. Sorry.

BORING CORRECTIONS:

We’re the innovators who brought you computers and technology and made started up software companies

the stuff that even Adam Smith warned we needed government oversight to protect *us from

And no, DKWs mom is not Randian. She gives it away.

At least she does to me.

Liberals, who hate the free market that brings them their Birkenstocks, are the ultimate hypocrites

I’m not a hypocrite. I hate the free market precisely because it brings us Birkenstocks.

Exactly, actor212, and moreover, the marketplace works better for some goods and services than others, and we’ve seen several industries that come to a point where the free market no longer provides the desired results. You could say that if people want buses and subways, they can pay operating companies the unsubsidized fares that would be needed to make such service actually profitable. Of course, that destroys a large swath of urban American life, but oh well: let the market decide.

The fact that I don’t see that as a desirable outcome doesn’t cause me to oppose the free market on principle. It’s just that some goods and services cannot be profitably produced at levels that meet real demand, and I think it’s perfectly reasonable for voters to mandate their governments to funnel public funds to such things.

Pfft, if she’s trying to build a wall the lady said MONITORS not cartoon dragosaurs.

And that GPA article is laughable. Grades are already “redistributed,” it’s called grading on a curve, and it’s very popular. Also, her analogy fails unless there are students with A++++++++++ grades, who would still be A++++++++ after grade redistribution. Most people WOULD disagree with income redistribution of there were a hard income cap like the hard grade cap, but there ain’t.

I think that we’re starting to see that the Internet is what’s causing Republicans to fail. In the past, only people with some vetting could spread conservative ideas throughout the media. Therefore, the powers that controlled the party could tightly filter out the lunatics, the idiots, the nutjobs, the clowns.

The Internet has no filter. That’s probably why they’re trying so hard to quash net neutrality. Has nothing to do with making more money. It’s just that the elite really really really want to put the cork back in the bottle because the genie came out and he’s fucking insane and everyone can see it now.

Look at this twit. She is completely without the self-awareness it requires to be even remotely ashamed at how silly she looks. It’s not just the dumb-ass picture. You could have a dumb-ass picture as your avatar if you were a very intelligent and well-informed commentator. But an obviously logic-proof bone-headed knuckle-brained sammich-head like Alyssa doesn’t counterbalance the goofiness of her profile pic with some wit, intelligence, or common sense. Instead, she shows that her profile pic isn’t her being funny, it’s her in her living room, or at work. It’s who she is. A child running around yelling at the adults that we’re all doing it wrong.

And the more unhinged rightwing idiots the Internet brings us, the more readily apparent the true depth of their crazy becomes.

fucking dinosaur.

Your ideas intrigue me etc.

genuine soft Corinthian leather?

Like pro wrestling, Alyssa’s not fake.

it’s called grading on a curve, and it’s very popular

I wonder if Alyssa ever refused to be graded on a curve, demanding the F- she earned in anything involving critical thinking. Yeah, thought not.

Trig is having another good (smart) day today.

And the more unhinged rightwing idiots the Internet brings us, the more readily apparent the true depth of their crazy becomes.

That’s right. All my adult life I’ve said that conservatives hate women, hate blacks, hate labor, hate hate hate. We were all right about that. Luckily for us, the nuance of their rantings is all gone!

fucking dinosaur.

Your ideas intrigue me etc.

There’s a joke here about fossils and boning, but I can’t quite come up with it…

But aren’t boycotts in and of themselves proof of the free market working? What is a boycott but people excercising their rights to buy elsewhere? Or not buy at all?

But aren’t boycotts in and of themselves proof of the free market working?

No. Also, too, protests erode the First Amendment.

When are liberals in America going to admit that they need the free market just as much as their conservative counterparts?

…when all my conservative counterparts are dying of E coli contaminated lettuce and oily carcinogenic shrimp while simultaneously being swindled to the point of destitution by Bernie Madoff clones.

Ugh, Human Events.. I was looking at that site earlier trying to get a picture of who the hell Harvey Kushner is. He’s in this article from newsday where he is quoted as a “terrorism expert”. In reality, I think he’s a wingnut conspiracy theorist who believes, according to his website, that there is a “secret Islamic terror network in America.”

His photo is enough to scare the POOP outta ya.

His photo is enough to scare the POOP outta ya.

Oh, sweet Jesus. His eyes just bored into my soul.

There’s a joke here about fossils and boning,

Speaking of, how’s DKWs mom?

but I can’t quite come up with it…

That’s what SHE said.

T&U I’m scared for you that you can just go so quickly to the wingnut mindset. *shudder* don’t go too deep, we may not be able to drag you back out!

Exactly, actor212, and moreover, the marketplace works better for some goods and services than others, and we’ve seen several industries that come to a point where the free market no longer provides the desired results.

Precisely. They call it nationalizing, but nationalizing has benefits. If the government can lower costs of necessities by nationalizing freight traffic, for example, that’s not a bad thing. If government can provide highways at a lower cost with more efficiency and safety than an army of private contractors hired by states and localities, then it should.

And its funny how many “libertarians” suddenly get all “gubmint gaga” over stuff like “necessities” but then define necessity to include some arbitrary industries they agree with. A true Objectivist would argue no industries are necessary.

Speaking of, how’s DKWs mom?

You don’t know? I thought I saw you on her sign-up sheet for this morning.

It’s already begun, Esteev. Notice who won Miss USA? Hmmm? Hmm?

Notice who won Miss USA? Hmmm? Hmm?

HITLER???

T&U I’m scared for you that you can just go so quickly to the wingnut mindset. *shudder* don’t go too deep, we may not be able to drag you back out!

Oh, trust me, I do this all the time. The key is to leave a little trail of anti-psychotics so you can find your way back.

What is a boycott but people excercising their rights to buy elsewhere?

No no! You see, when people get together and join a boycott, that’s undue and artificial pressure on the market, but when producers get together to fix prices and to restrain trade, that’s capitalism!

Do I really have to get into this again?

The “me, me, me” generation only cares about unfairness when it directly effects them, as it would with GPA redistribution.

Hate to break it to you, but “unfairness” in the form of income redistribution would very much affect them as well. Most of us are either upper class or middle-to-upper-middle-class in backgrounds, and the jobs most of us are aiming for are usually in that category whatever our background. As my generation would say, analogy FAIL.

But all hope is not lost. According to a Pew study, in the 2008 election liberals held a 32 point lead over conservatives among the millennial (ages 18-29) demographic.

You are aware that the majority of that demographic will never go to college, right? And you’re also aware that 2009 was the first year ever in which Democrats outnumbered Republicans in the college graduate population? The left’s “death grip” on universities is a myth, like black welfare queens, birth certificates, death panels and weapons of mass destruction.

This is why it is crucial for conservative students to become campus activists.

Oh believe me, they’re already there… No more committed, ideologically blind, deaf and dumb organization on my entire campus than the College Republicans.

With only a few exceptions, the Left has a death grip on academia, encouraging and indoctrinating America’s youth into this short-sighted and self-centered way of thinking.

The only professor who was ever blacklisted from my university was a Middle-Eastern Studies professor, who was denied tenure and booted out the door for daring to present the Palestinian point of view. Just a thought.

Professors and administrators aren’t teaching about free enterprise, American exceptionalism, personal responsibility, or traditional values, so it is now almost solely up to conservative students to take charge of educating their peers on these principles.

My economics classes taught nothing but the gospel of free enterprise. And personal responsibility is something your parents are supposed to instill in you, not the university. You’d know that if your parents had had any.

Oh, sweet Jesus. His eyes just bored into my soul.

Craaaaaaaaaaaaaaazy eye!

If I had ever had a class with a grade distribution that looked like U.S. income distribution (say, 65 Fs, 1 A), I would have shot myself.

You see, when people get together and join a boycott, that’s undue and artificial pressure on the market

Unless it’s because an establishment says “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas.”

The anonymous rant above was me. FTR.

Craaaaaaaaaaaaaaazy eye!

Has he lived in a cave all his life? Gollum is less creepy.

Notice who won Miss USA? Hmmm? Hmm?

HITLER???

She came in second.

The problem is the worldwide GPA shortage. If the federal government would approve more offshore GPA mining, then we wouldn’t have libruls demanding we redistribute GPA’s to GPA-scarce students.

I hope this young lady can get a full refund for her education. It was clearly not up to code.

Hey, cool! Someone left Zoloft all over the floor!

Nom nom nom nom nom

no industries are necessary.

Actor, you have so gone Galt and it is so so cool.

My economics classes taught nothing but the gospel of free enterprise.

We got a whole three hours of socialism, communism, and barter. Wow. I mean, this is a highly influential B-school and the most they could give us for optional economic theory was a fly-by of Marx (not even mentioning that he was pretty pro-market, given that he was a communist) and a few choise Maoisms.

With only a few exceptions, the Left has a death grip on academia, encouraging and indoctrinating America’s youth into this short-sighted and self-centered way of thinking.

Srsly, this projection has got to stop. I mean, I like going to the movies but this is too much.

Being short-sighted and self-centered are the only tenants in the right wing ideology.

And bombs.

The problem is the worldwide GPA shortage.

Do like us old timers used to do: Blow, baby, blow!

Her bio reveals that she became a conservative in fifth grade when Greenpeace asked her for a small donation.

I think I knew a kid like that. Just weirdly obsessed with money and possessions and “what’s MINE.” He got severely bent out of shape when his mom brought cupcakes one day and one of the students got a second cupcake.

Hey, cool! Someone left Zoloft all over the floor!

Pshaw. Zoloft’s for amateurs. That’s thorazine.

His photo is enough to scare the POOP outta ya.

Hmm, filed for future use.

The problem is the worldwide GPA shortage

The problem is when a bassakwards state like Texas is in charge of high school curriculum outside of Texas. That sh!t is what scary.

–“What was the Treaty of Paris?”

–“When those dern frogs got all uppity and elitist about us Merricans treatin’ them like they ain’t as ecksepshunal as us.”

Her bio reveals that she became a conservative in fifth grade when Greenpeace asked her for a small donation.

Wait. So someone *asked* her…didn’t twist her arm, didn’t hold a gun to her head, didn’t increase her taxes, but asked her…for a small donation and suddenly her skirt got all tangled up?

I’d check her for other signs of child abuse. Her dad must have raped her. And I’m not kidding.

I think I knew a kid like that. Just weirdly obsessed with money and possessions and “what’s MINE.”

I know 26 year olds like that. And, strangely — or, uh, not that strangely — they are the ones whose parents have a buttload* of money.

*VdiaperR

–”What was the Treaty of Paris?”

Wunnit dat th’ sex tape from that skanky lil blonde?

Sometimes it’s worth getting off the Batboat just to get some sweet, sweet crack like this:

She is a recent graduate from George Mason University in Fairfax, Virginia, where she was actively involved with advancing conservatism on campus.

Granted, this is NoVa, but I have a really hard time believing that there’s any school in Virginia where “advancing conservatism on campus” isn’t the equivalent of bringing coal to Newcastle.

She is a native of Northern California, but currently resides in Northern Virginia.

She doesn’t fit in back in NoCal? Shocked, shocked am I. (Eventually she’ll get tired of the godless whatchamacallits in NoVa and move to Pigspit Holler.)

Professors and administrators aren’t teaching about free enterprise,

Imagine if some brave university did; it could start, I don’t know, an entire “College of Business” or something.

personal responsibility,

Read The Fucking Syllabus. Or try cheating. You’ll (eventually) be taught something, I promise.

American exceptionalism…or traditional values

Propaganda, and beliefs that, beyond the academic values (see above), or a religion or ethics class, are none of our damned business? Yeah, that’s worth everyone’s tuition.

OH HOLY MOTHERFUCKING SHIT I WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL WITH THIS GUY.

He looooooooooved me until I was mean to him. (Really, I actually sort of feel bad about it). And then he moved to Texas.

Granted, this is NoVa, but I have a really hard time believing that there’s any school in Virginia where “advancing conservatism on campus” isn’t the equivalent of bringing coal to Newcastle.

She probably gave blow jobs in the locker room before the running of the hippies.

He looooooooooved me until I was mean to him.

Makes sense. He looks like a pussy.

And I mean that in a totally non-sexist, “little kitten who would mewl at the drop of a hat” sort of way.

actor212 said,
May 19, 2010 at 16:14

What is a boycott but people excercising their rights to buy elsewhere?

No no! You see, when people get together and join a boycott, that’s undue and artificial pressure on the market, but when producers get together to fix prices and to restrain trade, that’s capitalism!”

OIC. *sigh*

But aren’t boycotts in and of themselves proof of the free market working? What is a boycott but people excercising their rights to buy elsewhere? Or not buy at all?

No because SHUT UP.

Notice who won Miss USA? Hmmm? Hmm?

She came in second.

He was leading until the bikini contest.

Nothing says “free market” like a college education.

You pay a business to “teach” you things and whether or not you pick it up is your problem. Granted I spent more time on a couch than in a classroom but that is neither here nor there.

Plus, everyone is liberal in college. If your not you just wish people liked you more so you could be.

He looooooooooved me until I was mean to him. (Really, I actually sort of feel bad about it).

Nuts to that, you deserve a medal.

Makes sense. He looks like a pussy.

Kid had ISSUES. This is actually about what I expected him to do. Still, SO WEIRD.(I also think he might have masturbated while he was talking on the phone with me. He always seemed out-of-breath when I talked to him).

I think he had weird fantasies of subduing my wanton liberal spirit with his brilliant conservative ways. He once said that I would have to have a family because I “would always need something to dominate.” Self-projection, much?

Newsday Sucks. As does television.

brilliant conservative ways

I’ve read that 50 times and still don’t know what it means.

Kid had ISSUES. This is actually about what I expected him to do. Still, SO WEIRD.(I also think he might have masturbated while he was talking on the phone with me. He always seemed out-of-breath when I talked to him).

Did he ever slap you for no apparent reason? Did he then try to tell you he thought you might like it? Were you crushed when he moved to Tejas?

prostitution is the ultimate expression of Randian thought: selling yourself to the highest bidder.

So Peggy Hopkins Joyce was the ultimate Randian?

All my adult life I’ve said that conservatives hate women, hate blacks, hate labor, hate hate hate. We were all right about that. Luckily for us, the nuance of their rantings is all gone!

They used to get people like Reagan to chummily dog-whistle their hatred. Now, it’s printed on badly-spelled signs held up by morans at teabagger protests.

How many nobodies do I have to keep up with? Oh wait, multiplying by zero…

He once said that I would have to have a family because I “would always need something to dominate.” Self-projection, much?

So he’s wearing diapers today and visiting hookers.

Wait. So someone *asked* her…didn’t twist her arm, didn’t hold a gun to her head, didn’t increase her taxes, but asked her…for a small donation and suddenly her skirt got all tangled up?

I love how phony their free market charity is. The party line; Yes, we love the poor. The poor are good people. We just don’t like compulsory charity, because it’s just wrong to use people’s taxes to pay for… you get the picture. But oh yes, we’ll totally do all those charitable things as long it’s in the private sector…

So liberal activists come up and ask them for private, market-based solutions like, you know, boycotting Chinese products or union-busting corporations or things like that… and the response is still “Nah, we’re not interested. It’s nasty and liberal.”

Just so we’re clear; no, it’s not the government compulsion they object to. It’s very much the helping the less fortunate they have a problem with, no matter what form it takes.

Don’t you often get the feeling that so many wingnut rants just belie a sense of impotent secret envy of liberals? I ALWAYS pick up that vibe.

So Peggy Hopkins Joyce was the ultimate Randian?

No, because she gave up her freedoms by getting married.

He was leading until the bikini contest.

It couldn’t have helped that he tripped over his own tongue.

Nuts to that, you deserve a medal.

Thanks. I irrationally fear that I contributed to his overall nuttiness.

He did get back at me in a particularly humiliating way, so I really don’t feel *that* bad.

Don’t you often get the feeling that so many wingnut rants just belie a sense of impotent secret envy of liberals

Oh, definitely. But, they are worried that if liberals win they might have to get by on “merit” and “intelligence” as opposed to nepotism and crazy-talk.

So he’s wearing diapers today and visiting hookers.

Or, you know, having some sort of weird, torrid relationship with James O’Keefe.

“Benjamin Wetmore: a mentor of mine; a genius,” Mr. O’Keefe said during an interview with The New York Times in September, after the Acorn videos were released. “He said, ‘Take on the politically correct crowd on campus, satirically.’ ”

Mr. O’Keefe declined several interview requests, and Mr. Wetmore responded to an e-mail message by sending photographs of Jayson Blair, a reporter for The New York Times who resigned after admitting to plagiarism and fabrication. Mr. Dai, Mr. Basel and Mr. Flanagan could not be reached for comment. (The four men arrested were freed on bail, awaiting a pretrial hearing.)

The partnership between Mr. O’Keefe and Mr. Wetmore appears to have started in earnest in 2004.

T&U that guy sounds like a FREAK. Jesus.

Also, I just threw up in my mouth a little.

Hi all! David Brooks here, you, there. Just wanted to say that I feel where your coming from but, it’s not the right feeling. You need to understand (mind you I’ve done very litter research to back this up) that in order to make money you have to screw people over. If you just ignore your conscience, like I do when writing my column, you can make a lot of money by putting others down. Cash is god, god is cash.

It’s that simple. Yet that complex. (I’m going to remember that line).

Ben, Wetmore Beds!

Too easy.

Professors and administrators aren’t teaching about free enterprise,

Oh noes, the administrators and the professors other than in the business and economics schools didn’t teach free enterprise at my university either! Nor did the librarians nor support staff!

the professors other than in the business and economics schools didn’t teach free enterprise at my university either!

My journalism professors taught…*gasp*…journalism!

I. Was. Indoctrinated.

So these two jackasses are trying to be the right wing answer to The Yes Men?

OK, here’s the difference:

The Yes Men take of corporations, organizations and government agencies by publicly humiliating officials. These are groups that could crush them in a heartbeat if they felt embarassed enough by them.

O’Keefe and Wetless privately bully low-level functionairies of bureaucracies, people they actually have more power than.

I repeat my earlier assessment: just a couple of pussies.

T&U that guy sounds like a FREAK. Jesus.

Yeah. If he weren’t so hateful, I would feel sorry for him.

Oddly enough, the thing that bothered me the most was that he INSISTED on calling me by a different name, especially during debate rounds (he was my partner). My name is technically short for another name, but it’s still MY NAME, and he would always call me by the full version of it because my real name sounded too immature. It’s like, if my parents named me “Jen” and he insisted on calling me “Jennifer.” So weird.

My journalism professors taught…*gasp*…journalism!

I wonder how they teach journalism now in college, when “journalism” has expanded to include Irk Irksome?

No, because she gave up her freedoms by getting married.

Instead of living the Randian dream of being raped by your superman.

So these two jackasses are trying to be the right wing answer to The Yes Men?

Apparently. I did know that he got kicked out of a speech Tipper Gore was giving on his campus (American, maybe? SHITIALMOSTWENTTHERE) because he was filming it and wouldn’t stop.

No, dude, you’re not making change. You’re being a fucking asshole.

Thanks. I irrationally fear that I contributed to his overall nuttiness.

He did get back at me in a particularly humiliating way, so I really don’t feel *that* bad.

Don’t fear it. I have one wingnut facet to me–I love the thought of one of these little conservative dicks being socially ostracized. It pleases me that you introduced him to his lifetime of humiliating dumbfuckery.

Instead of living the Randian dream of being raped by your superman.

For money, yes.

Oddly enough, the thing that bothered me the most was that he INSISTED on calling me by a different name

Fledgling manipulator honing his skills on you…

Fledgling manipulator honing his skills on you…

Pretty much, yeah. OMG so MANY ISSUES.

The Clare Boothe Luce Institute? Okay, sure – Goldwater-supporter and Reaganite though she was, I like Clare Boothe Luce. She wrote at least one great play (The Women), was a female battlefield correspondent during WWII, and was kind of my ideal 1930s socialite – rich as hell, but sharp, compassionate, and full of the ol’ noblesse oblige (sic? Yeah, probably).

So I get off the boat, and I’m greeted with pictures of Ann Coulter and Palin, and come across statements like “Strong women leaders like Clare Boothe Luce and Sarah Palin have inspired millions and impacted the world for the better.” Aw, Christ.

This makes me genuinely, embarassingly angry. Are they so goddam dumb that they think these women are comparable? Or are they being knowingly disingenuous, hoping to make Palin look good by association. The old question, I guess – are they stupid or are they lying? Either way, the more these dopes lump Sarah Palin in with people of real achievement, the harder it is for us to even begin to take them seriously.

Fledgling manipulator honing his skills on you…

He hadn’t even evolved ot the “etchings” phase.

Professors and administrators aren’t teaching about free enterprise, American exceptionalism, personal responsibility, or traditional values, so it is now almost solely up to conservative students to take charge of educating their peers on these principles.

Wait, seriously? “American exceptionalism?” Unless she’s using some weird, previously unknown definition of that phrase, she’s actually advocating… what? That the rules for everyone else don’t apply to us? That the economic policies that are working quite well in other parts of the world would fail here just because it’s the USA? That we’re somehow magically better and can do whatever we want (as a country) but everyone else has to be diplomatic and sensitive to our desires?

She has no right to call anyone else short-sighted. Damn, I mean, most of us get over that viewpoint around the time we learn how to talk in full sentences.

Sorry, I’m just dumbfounded. And I know it’s not just her. The fact that so-called “conservatives” are actually pushing for “American exceptionalism” without even trying to make it sound less childish, petulant, foolish, petty, mean, snotty, etc. is shocking to me, even though I know it shouldn’t be.

And in response to O’Keefe and Wetmore, they’re just another example of right-wingers not getting it. Attacking someone or trying to make them look bad is nothing but simple bullying if the person is unable to fight back, and there’s nothing brave about it unless the person is able to crush you. And even then it’s still shameful if you resort to dishonesty to do it.

I don’t know why they don’t see the difference. Maybe they’re just dishonest people, and they make the assumption that everyone else is like them. So they try to do what liberals do, but they fail, because they don’t get that the liberals were being honest.

Sorry for the long post.

“She wrote at least one great play (The Women)”

One of my all-time favorite movies. There are some lines in the film/play that make me cringe, but I still think it’s amazing and funny and fun. I’m completely obsessed with it. Matter of fact, I just watched the other day.

I could murder Diane English did to the remake. There aren’t words to describe what a cinematic abortion it was. I fume just thinking about it.

FYWP. I spent a lot of time writing that. Sigh. Let’s try again:

Professors and administrators aren’t teaching about free enterprise, American exceptionalism, personal responsibility, or traditional values, so it is now almost solely up to conservative students to take charge of educating their peers on these principles.

Wait, seriously? “American exceptionalism?” Unless she’s using some weird, previously unknown definition of that phrase, she’s actually advocating… what? That the rules for everyone else don’t apply to us? That the economic policies that are working quite well in other parts of the world would fail here just because it’s the USA? That we’re somehow magically better and can do whatever we want (as a country) but everyone else has to be diplomatic and sensitive to our desires?

She has no right to call anyone else short-sighted. Damn, I mean, most of us get over that viewpoint around the time we learn how to talk in full sentences.

Sorry, I’m just dumbfounded. And I know it’s not just her. The fact that so-called “conservatives” are actually pushing for “American exceptionalism” without even trying to make it sound less childish, petulant, foolish, petty, mean, snotty, etc. is shocking to me, even though I know it shouldn’t be.

And, as for Wetmore and O’Keefe, it seems to me they just don’t get it. Attacking someone and making them look bad is just simple bullying if they can’t fight back, and isn’t brave unless they can crush you. Even then, it’s still shameful if you resort to dishonesty to do it.

But they don’t see the difference. Maybe they assume everyone is as dishonest as they are. So when they try to do what the liberals are doing, they fail, because they don’t get that the liberals are being honest. Then again, since we know how dishonest they are to begin with, maybe they’re just lying about the entire thing.

Sorry about the long post.

“Oddly enough, the thing that bothered me the most was that he INSISTED on calling me by a different name”

That’s a control tactic. It’s a passive-aggressive way of showing you he’s in charge. Like I said: FREAK.

He hadn’t even evolved ot the “etchings” phase.

That’s just a phase? Way to show commitment to your art…

I could murder Diane English did to the remake. There aren’t words to describe what a cinematic abortion it was. I fume just thinking about it.

I never saw it. Thank god.

More persecution of Orly Taitz by President Kenyatta Mandingo

FYWP
FYWP
FYWP
FYWP
FYWP

My post will probably show up is a few hours.

He hadn’t even evolved ot the “etchings” phase.

That’s just a phase? Way to show commitment to your art…

I’m dabbling in sculpture.

That’s a control tactic. It’s a passive-aggressive way of showing you he’s in charge. Like I said: FREAK.

I also find it interesting that he was/is very Catholic, and that it was the name of a saint…

“I wonder how they teach journalism now in college, when “journalism” has expanded to include Irk Irksome?”

Marvin Olasky has been a professor of journalism at the U of Texas for years. One can only imagine the damage he has done.

For PeeJ Poppyanus:

PENIS!

Holy shit…did anyone else here know what a huge FUCKTARD Bret Easton Ellis is?

Off topic, but I stumbled on it when I was checking to make sure I knew who murdered the remake of “The Women”

I’m dabbling in sculpture.

“Dabbling,” eh?

Holy shit…did anyone else here know what a huge FUCKTARD Bret Easton Ellis is?

a) I could have told you that after American Psycho was published and if I had met him before I met Tama Janowitz, I would have known BEFORE it was published.

b) I ran into him at a book fair last year (wish I hadn’t been driving just a Mini Cooper but I was borrowing her car), sitting next to Candace Bushnell. The man has not aged gracefully, which I took to be a signal that karma is a bitch.

Average Texan, what’s funny is that I actually really liked “American Psycho” And apparently it was directed by a WOMAN. *facepalm*

Candace Bushnell, eh? That must’ve been difficult for him, she’s kind of the ultimate girly-woman, upscale chick lit-type.

did anyone else here know what a huge FUCKTARD Bret Easton Ellis is?

Well, I’m not surprised. “American Psycho” moves beyond “satire” of misogyny to just straight-up misogyny pretty fucking quickly.

Also, haven’t we seen enough of life through the “male gaze” already? I thought good art was about, you know, breaking boundaries and new ideas…asshole.

Also, haven’t we seen enough of life through the “male gaze” already?

Some of us can’t help that. As long as boobs exist, we’re screwed.

Damn. I trusted the shorters, but did not trust the footnote.

Her mother explained the radical agenda of Greenpeace and left the decision up to Alyssa as to whether or not she wanted to participate in the fundraiser. Alyssa did not have to think too hard about her decision to opt out.

Alyssa learned early on in life that she doesn’t need to think too hard about things.

I’m not even sure I understand what he means by male gaze. It’s almost like he’s saying that only men are capable of appreciating beauty. WTF? MY WHOLE LIFE is appreciating beauty.

I just want to point out that she’s absolutely correct. I only teach the socialist version of molecular biology, corrupting hundreds of innocent students at a time. On the first day of class I lead the students to the quad and we have a bonfire of molecular biology books published by Heritage and AEI. Then we all sing the Internationale. Also.

I’m not even sure I understand what he means by male gaze.

He’s appropriating feminist terms for his own dumbass use. I’m not sure he knows what that means, either.

I’m not even sure I understand what he means by male gaze. It’s almost like he’s saying that only men are capable of appreciating beauty.

One would assume that he means that women, busy with child rearing and blowjobs, are incapable of seeing things in the correct light, as opposed to men, who like boobs a whole lot. That sounds wingnutty enough, right?

Alyssa learned early on in life that she doesn’t need to think too hard about things.

And her mother learned how easy it is to manipulate the minds of small children. Way to go, Mom!

It’s almost like he’s saying that only men are capable of appreciating beauty.

I think he’s saying men are visually sensual beings and women aren’t, so women can’t really be good directors unless they have male cinematographers to supply the vision they lack. I suppose the proof of this is the complete lack of visual media for women, that all magazines, art, etc intended for women are text-only, while on the other hand men can’t read.

Oddly enough, the thing that bothered me the most was that he INSISTED on calling me by a different name

“Mommy”?

Also, haven’t we seen enough of life through the “male gaze” already?

I tried using a female gaze, but then the cops demanded I return her eyeballs.

“Mommy”?

I literally gagged.

You’re lucky you’re a thousand miles away, dude.

Oh, trust me, I do this all the time. The key is to leave a little trail of anti-psychotics so you can find your way back.

Clever. You just follow the path of stoned animals back to the starting point.

I call fake David Brooks.

If you just ignore your conscience, like I do

You’re lucky you’re a thousand miles away, dude.

It fits the criteria – it’s short for another name and it’s creepy for him to call you it – and I can’t help it that the guiding principal of my life is to leave no straight line unturned.

Besides, like Actor and DK-W’s mom, I have plenty of experience defending myself against enraged women.

I call fake David Brooks. For obvious reason.

If you just ignore your conscience, like I do

I tried using a female gaze

The TERM is Lesbian.

Thank you.

Carry on.

I also think he might have masturbated while he was talking on the phone with me. He always seemed out-of-breath when I talked to him

DAMMIT!!! I should have known chicks didn’t like that! Looks like I owe the ladies at the suicide prevention hotline an apology.

I’m dabbling in sculpture.

“Sculpture,” eh? Is that what you call your blow-up doll?

DAMMIT!!! I should have known chicks didn’t like that! Looks like I owe the ladies at the suicide prevention hotline an apology.

Oh, how I LOLed.

Also, haven’t we seen enough of life through the “male gaze” already?

Not until my house gets redecorated.

Badaboom! I’m here all week!

(And why do i get most inspiration for smartasssed comments from T&U? I hate to put the blame on her…)

HAHAHAHA

Phlogiston Productions

Can’t. Stop. Chuckling.

I don’t mind directors being male gaze, but they shouldn’t be allowed to marry.

I tried using a female gaze

The TERM is Lesbian.

What’s Miss USA got to do with it?

And why do i get most inspiration for smartasssed comments from T&U? I hate to put the blame on her…

It’s okay. I’m glad to be of help!

“Justice Antonin Scalia truly represents women because he seeks to preserve and protect the freedom provided by the Constitution to each and every American, which obviously includes women. “

Because Antonin Scalia, Thomas the others are able to pick up their portable temporary uterus and put it on while making decisions for women, if of course, they deem that necessary and of course, they most often don’t.

Because there’s no woman who knows women like a man.

“Our brains have been programmed with buzz words like “tolerance” and “diversity” and it has gotten to point that even when the glaring inequities of wealth redistribution are right in front of our faces many still fail to see them…”

Yes and those words “tolerance” and “diversity” mean nothing more than tolerating socialists who want to continue the starvation of the working people for the benefit of the few wealthy…I mean the wealthy get their wealth redistributed to the poor people we have to tolerate and we have to diversify their portfolios to accomodate the socialist tax structure of the….

Oh yeah, sorry I got stuck in a Wingnut Black Hole…. oh god help, “mama, mama! They want to tax the family beach house….the yacht where’s my yacht? Did the OBamists Socialisms take it away to feed the poor?”

Oh lawdamighty, I’m back.

I’m not going to the third one, I’m not.

“male gaze”…

Hm, did I just peel the lid off of the rotten tuna that is the real issue here?

I don’t think the selection of the word “gaze” was an accident.

their portable temporary uterus

Scalia and Thomas probably just use Fleshlights.

Oh yeah, sorry I got stuck in a Wingnut Black Hole

Did you leave a trail of anti-psychotics? You HAVE to do that, or you’ll be lost one day!

(And why do i get most inspiration for smartasssed comments from T&U? I hate to put the blame on her…)

Dude, you’re smoking this thread. Nice work!

Scalia and Thomas probably just use Fleshlights.

Why are you so gross today?

“mama, mama! They want to tax the family beach house….the yacht where’s my yacht? Did the OBamists Socialisms take it away to feed the poor?”

Maybe we’re approaching the wingnuts from the wrong angle. Maybe it’s time we turned their patented “Life’s not fair, deal with it” argument back on them. Obviously logic and intelligence are failing to reach them.

“Scalia and Thomas probably just use Fleshlights.”

Yes, to look at boobies through shirts because therein lies the meaning of the woman, just ask Thomas who searched for years for the meaning of Anita Hill through porn mags.

He was even kind enough to share his research with her, but she didn’t appreciate his hard work.

Why are you so gross today?

I deny any change from my usual self.

“She wrote at least one great play (The Women)”

Trivia question: How long did it run – how many performances?

Also, get me a bromide. And put some gin in it! One of the best movies EVAH!

Trike brigade strike! War! Goldblatt will lead us to victory!

http://www.plumbbobblog.com/?p=7625

…but she didn’t appreciate his hard work*.

*VPR

Trivia question: How long did it run – how many performances?

VPR.

I think he’s saying men are visually sensual beings and women aren’t

Yeah, that’s what I got from it, too. There’s a whole cottage industry around this idea, that men are attracted to visual stimuli and women just aren’t. It’s the usual reason given for why men like porn, and women like written erotica. (Whether this supporting claim is true is left as an exercise.)

Probably there’s even some evolutionary psychologist somewhere who can explain it all in terms of chasing antelopes and getting laid, since they explain everything in those terms. Nevertheless, I remain skeptical.

Honest to god that woman is eleventy dimensions of stupid, perfect wingnut material.

I’m thinking that this wingnut trajectory is a linear progression as it seems to feed only on itself, thus is regenerating from any type of reality and will at some point reach some kind of complete consumption.

What’s that word I’m looking for? Mass something?? C’mon you professors, help me out here.

I deny any change from my usual self.

Okay, it must be me, then. I probably need a nap.

I deny any change from my usual self.

VPR?

fucking dinosaur.

Your ideas intrigue me etc.

PENIS? nsfw

“here’s a whole cottage industry around this idea, that men are attracted to visual stimuli and women just aren’t. It’s the usual reason given for why men like porn, and women like written erotica.”

I’ve always seen it as an attempt to dismiss the economic imbalance between men and women, when women historically will marry less attractive men or aged men because the interest is more in economic welfare than sexual or even emotional attraction.

But evo-psychs don’t like that kind of social speculation getting in the way of their belief that everything the way it is now is fixed and those who aren’t happy with it should just STFU and go see a shrink.

Which is why most often Randians love to use evo-psych as an underpinning rationale for much of their stupid.

VPR really Dragon?

Your mom said she’s quite happy with what I got, no VP’s needed.

Honest to god that woman is eleventy dimensions of stupid, perfect wingnut material.

In addition to being an attention whore. I’m fairly certain that’s the single biggest motivation for women to enter the shackles of conservatism.

Besides, like Actor and DK-W’s mom, I have plenty of experience defending myself against enraged women.

She’s never enraged, just engorged.

In addition to being an attention whore. I’m fairly certain that’s the single biggest motivation for women to enter the shackles of conservatism.

Daddy issues. Also, too.

Trivia question answer: 666 performances.

Tsam: I’ve whored around and gotten attention to, but on no day ever did I consider turning conservative.

“Sculpture,” eh? Is that what you call your blow-up doll?

She’s more performance art

wingnut trajectory

Hm. I suppose “straight down” is a trajectory.

She’s never enraged, just engorged.

Are you calling me fat?!

During her Senate confirmation hearings for her appointment as solicitor general, Kagan’s response to a question about gun rights was that the 2nd Amendment did not offer “unlimited protection against governmental regulation.”

Allysa takes a bold stance in favor of the right of convicted felons to own firearms. Can they vote, too, or is voting not an unlimited right like possessing lethal weapons* is?

*Not to be confused with possession of Letha Weapons, which falls under the 1st amendment.

Scalia and Thomas probably just use Fleshlights.

In my day, we juust called them “adult sleeves”, “love tunnels”, or if we want to be secretive “meiki”

Trike brigade strike! War! Goldblatt will lead us to victory!

http://www.plumbbobblog.com/?p=7625

Dang! I had seen that site before but forgot all about it. I’ll bookmark it for those times when I just need some hatred, fear and psychosis in my life.

Ellis clearly references the oppressive deification of male-gaze hetero normative modes of synthesis in a semiotic blancmange of post-structural teakettle barbecue hatstand fishmonger.

Are you calling me fat?!

a) Are you DKW’s mom?

b) No, but parts of you would be if you were here.

OT:

Someone in my profession just asked me to link up on their website, honest to god, its the ugliest, most eye-splitting brain wracking hell of crap I’ve ever seen.

How do you gracefully tell someone their website is gross and they should improve it?

There’s a whole cottage industry around this idea, that men are attracted to visual stimuli and women just aren’t.

I think the truth is that men are almost wholly visual where women are sensual.

Not to be confused with possession of Letha Weapons

I can haz Letha Weapons until you pry her from my cold dead hands.

Damn, how did I forget to change pajamas back?

How do you gracefully tell someone their website is gross and they should improve it?

WEB DESIGN, MOTHERFUCKER! HAVE YOU HEARD OF IT?

Oh wait, you said “gracefully”

BTW, this site is not loading on iPhone today at all. It’s driving me bonkers.

How do you gracefully tell someone their website is gross and they should improve it?

That’s a tough one. I’m not sure how I’d handle that.

YOU’RE WELCOME for that helpful answer.

Daddy issues. Also, too.

Has to be–I suppose you can’t really blame them for those, or even attention whoring. But you don’t have to stand back very far and look at the conservative argument to realize that it is unapologetically anti-women.

How do you gracefully tell someone their website is gross and they should improve it?

“I’d prefer to be associated with people who actually have taste.”

To all of those who’ve weighed in on the whole “male gaze” discussion, I’ve been trying to answer you…but this page has not been loading for me most of the day. It’s weird.

Anyway…I think the idea that women aren’t visually stimulated ludicrous. Women look at porn–a lot. And I’d be lying if I said could appreciate the sensuality of GAZING at a gorgeous view or just a well-built man.

couldn’t. Ugh

Tsam: I’ve whored around and gotten attention to, but on no day ever did I consider turning conservative.

You have to mix it with schizophrenia (hallucinations about secret plots and sex are a key element) and having a critical thinking ability equal to that of your average beaver (V…R).

Women look at porn–a lot.

Have I shown YOU my etchings?

Anyway…I think the idea that women aren’t visually stimulated ludicrous. Women look at porn–a lot. And I’d be lying if I said could appreciate the sensuality of GAZING at a gorgeous view or just a well-built man.

This site has been an asshole to me all day long too.

So howcome you’re like the first woman ever to admit that? Will you get your princess card revoked for that? Why you always hatin’ on men for diggin’ on porn? Where do you find porn you like? Is it the same porn?

a well-built man.

Down with men covered in Garden State Brickface!

male-gaze hetero normative modes of synthesis in a semiotic blancmange of post-structural teakettle barbecue hatstand fishmonger.

So I’m not the only here who thinks that everything he said was gibberish.

VAGINA.

“Palin took only seconds to sign each book, but people were asked their names by a handler and greeted by her father, Chuck Heath. Palin made eye contact with people as well, smiling and occasionally exchanging words. Asked how she liked the Roanoke Valley, she smiled, winked and gave a thumbs-up.

The first to get their books signed emerged from the store and displayed the signatures triumphantly while those still in line cheered.

Alyssa Cordova, 23, and Virginia Mosely, 22, both of Northern Virginia, were giddy from the encounter.

“This is the best day of my life,” Cordova said. “Can you imagine people turning out like this for Jack Kemp or John Edwards — other failed vice presidential candidates? These people adore her. They love her. She’s one of us. She’s not this policy wonk who talks down to us and talks over us. She’s a regular person.””

And I’d be lying if I said could appreciate the sensuality of GAZING at a gorgeous view* or just a well-built** man.

*VPR
**VPR

Dude, you’re smoking this thread.

Thread smoking is the bailiwick of the male gaze.

PENIS.

She’s a regular person.””

With a rock‘s IQ

So howcome you’re like the first woman ever to admit that? Will you get your princess card revoked for that? Why you always hatin’ on men for diggin’ on porn? Where do you find porn you like? Is it the same porn?

A few things…I’d hardly consider myself a porn aficionado. I enjoy–cough–erotica once in a blue moon…and I like it SOMEWHAT vanilla…as in nothing too freaky. Kids these days seem to be upping the nasty/unhygienic quotient…which only makes me want to partake less. But I’ve heard tales that women are some of the biggest consumers of erotica. So I don’t know where the “women hate porn” meme comes from.

But what REALLY bugs me about this conversation is that anyone would think for even ONE MINUTE that women could not be aroused when looking at a beautiful man. *facepalm* I mean, I may not want to jump his bones…but it can certainly make me raise my eyebrows or give myself a chaste and ladylike case of the vapors. 😉

couldn’t. Ugh

I don’t know what your fascination with UGH is about, but I don’t think it’s healthy.

“This is the best day of my life,” Cordova said. “Can you imagine people turning out like this for Jack Kemp or John Edwards — other failed vice presidential candidates? These people adore her. They love her. She’s one of us. She’s not this policy wonk who talks down to us and talks over us. She’s a regular person.”

Yeah, “loving” somebody in spite of the fact that you admit they’re unqualified for office is nothing at all like your imagined sexualization of the very wonkish, very thoughtful Obama. No projection there, nope, none at all.

HooverBane: It aint you or the iPhone. The hamsters are arguing amongst themselves.

Also FYWP. As if the hamster problem wasn’t bad enough.

This site has been an asshole to me all day long too.

Glad it’s not just me. It’s totally been making me its bitch and doing filthy things to me. Two can play that game, Sadly, No!!!

I just had to share this with the sadlynaughts. I was on newsvine and some teabagger posted the following about the upcoming elections. I quote this as is:

YOU HAVE PISSED US OFF NOW REAP THE WIRLWIND!!!!!!!!!!!

That is just a thing of beauty, I swear. I want to define “wirlwind” on UD as “a predicted electoral wave that completely fails to materialise.”

I don’t know what your fascination with UGH is about, but I don’t think it’s healthy.

Hey, as long as it’s not those butt-ugly boots, I think I’m ok.

But what REALLY bugs me about this conversation is that anyone would think for even ONE MINUTE that women could not be aroused when looking at a beautiful man.

Fun fact: Lesbians like to watch all male pornography. We’ve had many lesbian friends borrow from our collection and vice versa. I don’t get it but c’est la vie.

Can you imagine people turning out like this for Jack Kemp or John Edwards — other failed vice presidential candidates?

I don’t remember… Did women stampede William Miller after he went down in flames?

“Can you imagine people turning out like this for Jack Kemp or John Edwards

Actually, yes, I can

So I don’t know where the “women hate porn” meme comes from.

It’s not so much a “hate porn” meme as it is “women prefer soft focus, vaseline smeared lenses, classical music, candles and a romantic storyline, whereas men just want to look at dirty pictures”. (This, after all, is the distinction between “erotica” and “porn”, and why there is a perceived gender preference between their consumers.) To test this, researchers do things like showing pictures of naked people to subjects and watching which pictures make the subjects’ eyes dilate, or hearts beat faster, or skin get flushed, or whatever “arousal” metric they’re using.

Never having been female, I don’t know if it’s true. I do know that even if it is true, it would be well nigh impossible to tell “natural inclination” from “socially constructed inclination”, especially in a laboratory setting.

But, as you pointed out, it does reinforce current stereotypes, so we’re probably stuck with it until sanity breaks out.

BTW, I concur that somebody needs to feed the hamsters.

YOU HAVE PISSED US OFF NOW REAP THE WIRLWIND!!!!!!!!!!!

First you plant the wirl seeds.

Then you fertilize them with the best plant food in the world, human urine.

Then, you reap very quickly, harvesting the…

nevermind

Fun fact: Lesbians like to watch all male pornography. We’ve had many lesbian friends borrow from our collection and vice versa. I don’t get it but c’est la vie.

I’m actually not surprised… actually I kind of am…but maybe not…I dunno. I think a big part of porn’s appeal is that you’re just indulging in a fantasy…watchin’ people doin’ it…doin’ stuff you may never do…It’s sort of a “gee whiz, they look THEY’RE enjoying themselves quite a bit, don’t they?” kind of thing.

I can’t post today… S,N! either eats my post or doesn’t load at all. WTFFUWPKTHXBAI

It’s not so much a “hate porn” meme as it is “women prefer soft focus, vaseline smeared lenses, classical music, candles and a romantic storyline, whereas men just want to look at dirty pictures”. (This, after all, is the distinction between “erotica” and “porn”, and why there is a perceived gender preference between their consumers.) To test this, researchers do things like showing pictures of naked people to subjects and watching which pictures make the subjects’ eyes dilate, or hearts beat faster, or skin get flushed, or whatever “arousal” metric they’re using.

But as a woman, I can’t imagine choosing between the two. Yes, erotica can be fun, but I used to read romance novels like a motherfucker. They scratch two entirely different itches.

YOU HAVE PISSED US OFF NOW REAP THE WIRLWIND!!!!!!!!!!!

This is what the S,N hamsters are saying to us. As they laugh.

vaseline smeared lenses

Ooooh…eye sex.

Of course, my glasses protect me against STDs.

BTW, this site is not loading on iPhone today at all. It’s driving me bonkers.

I’m on a pooter and it’s FUBAR as well. Taking forevah to load, weird database error pages and the like.

Palin took only seconds to sign each book, but people were asked their names by a handler and greeted by her father, Chuck Heath. Palin made eye contact with people as well, smiling and occasionally exchanging words.

Funny. Whenever I’ve had a book autographed by an author, even a really popular one, while the handler may have asked my name, the author usually addressed me by it.

SN’s problems seem to have resolved. Finally.

actor, quit trying to show me your etchings. I’m still trying to forget the nightmares your last batch gave me.

EAT THIS, HAMSTERS!!!!!

Only in Portland, FOOD FIGHT!

But as a woman, I can’t imagine choosing between the two. Yes, erotica can be fun, but I used to read romance novels like a motherfucker. They scratch two entirely different itches.

So…you like it…both ways?

Have I shown you Actor’s etchings?

YOU HAVE PISSED US OFF NOW REAP THE WIRLWIND!!!!!!!!!!!

WHIRLWHIZZ would’ve been better, but Teabaggers got no style.

But as a woman, I can’t imagine choosing between the two. Yes, erotica can be fun, but I used to read romance novels like a motherfucker. They scratch two entirely different itches.

I do not want to be in the position of defending what I believe to be a false premise, so I think we are basically in agreement. Depending on what you mean by “erotica” I think your two itches point is probably true for everybody.

I’ve always thought the most likely reason researchers came up with the notion that women don’t like to look at naked men was basic insecurity about whether the women wanted to look at naked researchers.

Actor’s etchings*: http://kunst.gymszbad.de/zab2006/ts-2/piranesi/piranesi-carceri_15b-1761-xl.jpg

*Etchings in example may be far better than Actor’s. YMMV

The fact that so-called “conservatives” are actually pushing for “American exceptionalism” without even trying to make it sound less childish, petulant, foolish, petty, mean, snotty, etc. is shocking to me, even though I know it shouldn’t be.

Even more shocking is their insistence that America is a special little snowflake, even as their ideology plunges the country into a morass of endless wars, limitless debt, eviscerated industry, and pariah status.

Unipolar Hyperpower to broke-ass backwater in eight short years, courtesy of Conservatism, so called.

Lurking Canadian, I think we agree…and I instantly got a visual of a stereotypically geeky guy wearing nothing but a pocket protector. Tee hee!

This lady’s like emotions and not those things “down there” reminds me of some stupid show I was watching called “taboo” wherein the discussion led to a group of college students of both sexes comparing their thought patterns/motivations for masturbation.

All the girls were like, “Oh but I think of my boyfriend and nice things and I have to build to it and imagine love and warmth of commitment…”

and the guys were like, “Hey, I just think of the physical parts (pussies) and I get on it and git r’ done.”

And the show is like, “There you have it folks! Proof positive, girls don’t think of those “down there” parts and nasty boys are nasty boys and sensitive girls should watch out!”

Bullshit.

When I masturbate I think of body parts, dirty, filthy, rotten erotic things some of which I wouldn’t talk about it certain company and I do the nasty and like it alot and that’s that.

And I objectify men and find the male figure quite awesomely beautiful.

So there.

Not to get too sammichy, but the male gaze is about the entitlement and privilege and is a symptom of the patriarchy.

Generally, women exist as objects of enjoyment for men. This objectification is carried out vividly in porn, but even IRL women are viewed as a sum of parts on public display for the amusement of men.

It is carried out in the name of aesthetics but the gaze doesn’t have the same effect when carried out by women, as they are the oppressed in the patriarchal system.

So your goddam superman is entitled to the privilege of evaluating all that he sees in terms of how it pleases him, regardless of whether or not that object is ostensibly a human.

Thus ends today’s 30 second pandagon.

When I masturbate I think of body parts, dirty, filthy, rotten erotic things some of which I wouldn’t talk about it certain company and I do the nasty and like it alot and that’s that.

Have I shown you my etchings?

I’m still trying to forget the nightmares your last batch gave me.

In fairness to my art, those may have been from the roofies I snuck in your margarita.

And I objectify men

Just so long as you don’t anthropomorphize us, ’cause that’s shit’s disgusting.

Might S,N hamsters…what will it take to appease you? Must we build you altars? Must we sacrifice virgins*? How about a little nosh?

*naked researchers

So howcome you’re like the first woman ever to admit that?

WHAT? Really???

Just so long as you don’t anthropomorphize us

N_B again comes out as a furry.

This objectification is carried out vividly in porn, but even IRL women are viewed as a sum of parts on public display for the amusement of men.

Let’s not make this entirely about the patriarchy.

After all, entire industries have arisen over female vanity and feminine display.

In fact, I’d argue that “Sex & The City” was women’s porn the way that the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue is men’s porn, both modified for public acceptance.

Both, of course, being in large part about fashion.

This site is behaving very badly.

“After all, entire industries have arisen over female vanity and feminine display.”

As according to the narrative of and approved by, the patriarchy.

There is my addition to the 30 second Pandagon, which was very nicely done might I say. Now I must get back to work and leave the lazy page turner working behind the scenes at Sadly No!

Just so long as you don’t anthropomorphize us

Really! Imagine humanizing men!

In fairness to my art, those may have been from the roofies I snuck in your margarita.

Trust me, the roofies only helped your case.

Generally, women exist as objects of enjoyment for men.

Tell us something we don’t know.

N_B again comes out as a furry.

Someone’s got teddy bears on the brain.

As according to the narrative of and approved by, the patriarchy.

That argument is about thirty years out of date.

Lurking Canadian, I think we agree…and I instantly got a visual of a stereotypically geeky guy wearing nothing but a pocket protector. Tee hee!

But… but… how would a pocket protector stay put if there’s no poc… oh. Oh my.

When I masturbate I think of body parts, dirty, filthy, rotten erotic things some of which I wouldn’t talk about it certain company and I do the nasty and like it alot and that’s that.

All of this leads me to believe that the genders aren’t quite as different as “polite society” attempts to impose. Encouraging, but the taboo aspect of sexual discussion is so fucking frustrating. Everyone hides it, and social pressure, IMHO, is the single largest cause of sexual dysfunction. (That is to include religious repression) Thoughts? Pictures?

Not to get too sammichy, but the male gaze is about the entitlement and privilege and is a symptom of the patriarchy.

Yeah, and it exists, but also… I think reducing objectification to something that men just do to women is, well, reductive. Even sexual objectification extends beyond the Male Gaze, though it might not be as common as het male sexual objectification of *certain* women.

tsam, agreed.

So howcome you’re like the first woman ever to admit that?

WHAT? Really???

Exaggeration…but I still find that MANY women display a somewhat condescending attitude toward pornography. “It’s gross!” they proclaim, and I have suspected all along that they view it from time to time.

I do have to say that the porn industry doesn’t help itself with some of the stuff they put out. But then again, they don’t do it because nobody likes it, do they?

I’ve always thought the most likely reason researchers came up with the notion that women don’t like to look at naked men was basic insecurity about whether the women wanted to look at naked researchers.

Yeah, I think its what men wanted to believe, especially the older doughy ones who needed to feel they were giving younger women everything they wanted, rather than just satisfying a desire for security.

But then there are also a lot of women who for one reason or another want people to think they are above base desires.

The most erotic/pornographic artists I know are women. Well, leaving out photography (which is largely just an easy way for guys to get women to undress even if they have little or no artistic talent).

THIS SITE IS PISSING ME OFF TODAY.

All of this leads me to believe that the genders aren’t quite as different as “polite society” attempts to impose.

No, they’re not. I don’t think there’s any more variation between men and women than there is between people in general, you know? It pisses me off when people try to define my sexuality for me, so I try really, REALLY hard not to make any assumptions about anyone else’s sexuality, no matter who they are.

This site is behaving very badly.

Website? Newsletter?

Rule 34 reference?

When this site gets fixed I’m gonna post the FUCK out of this text box.

I still find that MANY women display a somewhat condescending attitude toward pornography.

I think many women who display that do it in the context of being polite. I noticed a big difference in the attitudes towards porn between my female friends, particularly when I was married, and the women I’ve met as a re-single man.

I think women believe in the context of being around other couples to treat porn as something toxic. Men do this too. Hell, I’ve gotten embarassed being at a Hooters with my daughter, yet have absolutely no problem in going to one stag. And that’s Hooters, which is about as family friendly as you can get, absent the tight T shirts.

Well, leaving out photography (which is largely just an easy way for guys to get women to undress even if they have little or no artistic talent).

And etchings!

She’s one of us. She’s not this policy wonk who talks down to us and talks over us. She’s a regular person.”

Right, because what I’m looking for in terms of foreign policy, the economy, and national security is someone just like a 23 year old.

“But then again, they don’t do it because nobody likes it, do they?”

My theory on the sad product put out these days by the porn industry is that they have a steady stream of guys turning 18 every day who need wanking material and purchase the first thing they get their, uh, hands on. They don’t need to improve their product, so they don’t. And I think the whole adult entertainment field feeds the misperception that men want women to get boob jobs. Yuck.

They scratch two entirely different itches.
…
Have I shown you Actor’s etchings?

Drypoint is all about the scratching.

she went to George Mason? Wingnut central for colleges in Northern VA. Not as hardcore as Patrick Henry but still,,,

I still find that MANY women display a somewhat condescending attitude toward pornography.

How do you condescend to pornography?

“Oh, bless her heart, look how hard she’s trying in this little film. It’s almost as if it were a real movie.”

Exaggeration…but I still find that MANY women display a somewhat condescending attitude toward pornography. “It’s gross!” they proclaim, and I have suspected all along that they view it from time to time.

Yeah, that’s social pressure, combined with the very real fact that most porn doesn’t depict the way actual people fuck. I also think it’s difficult for some people to imagine that other people don’t view certain acts as degrading, and may even enjoy them. So, they automatically assume that any porn that depicts those acts is degrading and disgusting. Certainly, a lot of porn involves people that are doing stuff that they don’t necessarily want to do, and the industry does have serious problems with exploitation and abuse. But, ya know, it’s more complex than that.

But then again, they don’t do it because nobody likes it, do they?

There are certain conventions in porn that I, personally, could do without. But I’m not going to disregard something that I enjoy completely because I don’t like a certain aspect of it. It’s like anything else–music, TV, etc…a lot of it’s crap, and I, personally, think the people who consume it have bad taste. That doesn’t mean that all TV, music, and movies should be thrown out the window. I’m much more interested in redefining the idea of porn and making it enjoyable for everyone, including the participants.

I think many women who display that do it in the context of being polite.

Or as a way of avoiding sleazy men. If a woman says in public that she enjoys pornography, she’s likely to get a LOT of unwanted interest from middle-aged fat men with Stossel mustaches and tufty chest hair.

The same is true of masturbation. I didn’t know that women masturbated until I was 16 or so. I was talking about sex with a good female friend, and in passing I made some reference to my (false) belief that girls don’t wank. She sternly informed me that they could and did. I said it seemed odd that nobody ever mentioned it given how often people make jokes about guys masturbating. She said that, issues of embarrassment and shame aside, women *never* mention it because it attracts all sorts of undesired interest from guys–you can tell from their faces that they’re imagining you doing it, they start asking you questions, they suddenly want to get in your pants, etc. Easier and safer to allow guys to believe that it’s not really happening.

When this site gets fixed I’m gonna post the FUCK out of this text box.

HARDER! FASTER! DEEPER! Oh…yes! YEs! YES!

kate said,

This site is behaving very badly.

Needs a spanking, huh? The site, I mean. Well kinda.

Yeah, that’s social pressure, combined with the very real fact that most porn doesn’t depict the way actual people fuck.

Agreed. I don’t like that either. I also don’t like the idea of women as fucktoys. That kind of sex is fucking lame.

so I try really, REALLY hard not to make any assumptions about anyone else’s sexuality, no matter who they are.

Some assumptions are fair, based on human nature. Men are basically pervs, and the more they hide it, the pervier they are.

Drypoint is all about the scratching.

With grovelling, right?

HARDER! FASTER! DEEPER! Oh…yes! YEs! YES!

Take it, text box! Take it you word whore!

“Easier and safer to allow guys to believe that it’s not really happening.”

Have you met the intertoobs?

If a woman says in public that she enjoys pornography, she’s likely to get a LOT of unwanted interest from middle-aged fat men with Stossel mustaches and tufty chest hair.

So you have seen my etchings!

Seriously, you’re right on that score. It disgusts me as a man when I see and hear from friends what others of my gender do to try to attract a woman’s attention. I try to teach, but it doesn’t always…ok, usually…doesn’t work out well.

How hard is this? Walk up to the woman. Ask her her name, compliment her shoes or hair and before you know it, you’re in a conversation, you’ve exchanged numbers and you’ve asked her out.

And if she says no, no means no. There are three billion women on this planet. You won’t date every single one of them. Hell, even I know that and I’m fairly successful when I want to be.

Instead, my less evolved brethren get into this weird “uh huh huh, you have boobs” behavior. I can’t understand it. Maybe once in a lifetime that’s going to work, but damn, think of all the companionship you have to pass up to get that!

I’m off the market…but if weren’t, I love the idea of a guy trying to make conversation because he, you know, genuinely wants to get to know me. And, yes, I don’t care if the usual dudely piggy thoughts invade now again; it’s bound to happen. But I think that if men actually DID care about getting to know women, things will naturally *ahem* fall into place.

Oops. I’ve been outed as a Porn Dude.

FTR, I’m also Rahm and St. Ronald.

Seriously, you’re right on that score. It disgusts me as a man when I see and hear from friends what others of my gender do to try to attract a woman’s attention. I try to teach, but it doesn’t always…ok, usually…doesn’t work out well.

Oh my god, dude. I used to hang out (note the used to) with a dude who thought that a good opening line was to do the tongue between the two fingers from across the bar! Fuckin idiot! I suppose, however, that when he does find the girl that responds to that, he’ll have met his soulmate.

Yeah, nasty t-shirts, grabbing the crotch, talking to women like they WANT it and might be lucky enough to get it from ME, all fucking stupid.

My most sucessful tactic was a smile, saying hi, holding a door for WAY longer than reasonable, compliments that don’t include the word fuck…all very effective.

“Stossel mustaches and tufty chest hair”

Dude, Harry Reams retired from the biz decades ago.

What’s that word I’m looking for? Mass something?? C’mon you professors, help me out here.

I don’t think so. That would be SOCIALISM.

The old question, I guess – are they stupid or are they lying?

Why can’t it be both?

And, yes, I don’t care if the usual dudely piggy thoughts invade now again

Are you kidding? That’s one of my best seduction techniques is to be slightly naughty in the course of a conversation. I’ll toss an innuendo¹ into a conversation after the first drink, and watch her reaction. If she rolls her eyes, that’s usually a signal to me that it will be a short evening, but if she stops short of reacting or better still, gives as good as she gets, I look forward to the first kiss.

¹VAnalR

With grovelling, right?

No no, that’s when you use a burin.

combined with the very real fact that most porn doesn’t depict the way actual people fuck

True. That cheesy music would make it hard to concentrate.

Apart from that, totes my sex life.

Actor’s etchings*: http://kunst.gymszbad.de/zab2006/ts-2/piranesi/piranesi-carceri_15b-1761-xl.jpg
*Etchings in example may be far better than Actor’s. YMMV

Only a sick perverted individual architect or structural engineer would get turned on by Piranesi etchings.

Text Box, there’s absolutely NOTHING wrong with a little naughty flirting. NOTHING at all. I approve of that sort of thing wholeheartedly.

In fact, I do, Rahm does, St. Ronald does, and so does Porn Dude.

THIS SITE IS PISSING ME OFF TODAY.

This site will now REAP THE WIRLWIND!!!!!!!!!!!

If she rolls her eyes, that’s usually a signal to me that it will be a short evening

Or that you need to up your game. Now, if she crosses her legs, purses her lips, and checks her watch you’re doomed.

Only a sick perverted individual architect or structural engineer would get turned on by Piranesi etchings.

The columns, Smut! Think of the columns!

Or that you need to up your game. Now, if she crosses her legs, purses her lips, and checks her watch you’re doomed.

The drink to the face, I find, indicates that she might not be pickin up what I’m puttin down, if ya know what I mean.

I hate when this site slows down and I forget…yet again…to switch my nym back.

I blame the patriarchy.

Now, if she crosses her legs, purses her lips, and checks her watch you’re doomed.

Hell, I’ve had that happen walking up to the bar.

Text Box, there’s absolutely NOTHING wrong with a little naughty flirting. NOTHING at all. I approve of that sort of thing wholeheartedly.

Not a good opener though. Why am I telling you this? You have to start off being polite and find the right place to sling the flirt.

BTW, this is totally off-topic and self-centered but Lurking Canadian put me in touch with a guy who seems to be really nice and cool and on the ball…and I think I’m FINALLY going to get my “professional” site finished. And I’m so happy. I will be glad when someone clicks on my name and it takes them to a place that doesn’t look like a 13-year-old conservatard-in-training made it. Huge load off my mind. Huge.

I hate when this site slows down and I forget…yet again…to switch my nym back.

Sex talk. Out of your game. That’s why I never change nyms, except to roll the troll.

You have to start off being polite and find the right place to sling the flirt.

Not necessarily. Sometimes, if you pull just the right tone and wink and a nod, even a cheesy line like “Are you lost? Because heaven must be missing an angel” works.

But it’s very tricky and the degree of difficulty is high on that one.

With grovelling, right?
No no, that’s when you use a burin.

I have had nothing but bad experiences with the spit bite technique.

Not a good opener though. Why am I telling you this? You have to start off being polite and find the right place to sling the flirt.

I’ll keep that in mind next time I try to hit on T&U.

I’ll keep that in mind next time I try to hit on T&U.

Why must you torture us so?

Oh my god, dude. I used to hang out (note the used to) with a dude who thought that a good opening line was to do the tongue between the two fingers from across the bar!

Poor thing, if only he had licked his eyebrows instead.

B^4, how’d it go last night? After-action report up?

I’m infectious, so I didn’t go.

I’m off the market…but if weren’t, I love the idea of a guy trying to make conversation because he, you know, genuinely wants to get to know me. And, yes, I don’t care if the usual dudely piggy thoughts invade now again; it’s bound to happen.

For me, at least, it changed a lot as I got older. In my teens, even my late teens, I definitely fell victim to the “ooh, you have teh b00biez let me touch them!” thing. I also had minimal success with women, and the women I did end up with were, in a word, crazy. As I got older, I got better at seeing women as people, and I was more concerned with finding someone who I enjoyed being with. God knows the naughty thoughts still remained, but for the most part I just roll my eyes at myself and let the thought pass. Seems to work, too–who’d a thunk?

(Well, it mostly works. A young colleague down the hall is stunning, absolutely stunning, and has the most magnificent body I’ve seen in forever. A few weeks ago, I was half-asleep and ridiculously busy, and I dashed into the copy room only to narrowly avoid crashing into her where she was standing on a chair. I ended up, uh, eye-to-chest, and I admit it–I gawked. I GAWKED. I gawked for long enough that I had time to think “Holy Mary Mother of God, those are PERFECT!” Then I recovered, turned red, and managed to use the copier.

(She’s clearly steamed at me. I don’t blame her, really, because she must deal with this shit constantly…but damnit, can’t a guy get a mulligan?)

THIS SITE IS PISSING ME OFF TODAY.

NOW REAP THE WIRLWIND!!!!!!!!!!!

I gawked for long enough that I had time to think “Holy Mary Mother of God, those are PERFECT!”

You should have looked up at her and said “You know, smoking will stunt your growth.”

How hard is this? Walk up to the woman. Ask her her name, compliment her shoes or hair and before you know it, you’re in a conversation, you’ve exchanged numbers and you’ve asked her out.

I have also found the very odd* concept of being yourself can be quite helpful, as well.

*Maybe that’s just me being me.

(She’s clearly steamed at me. I don’t blame her, really, because she must deal with this shit constantly…but damnit, can’t a guy get a mulligan?)

Actually, I’d probably find it endearing so long as you didn’t say something about her attributes…which would be…gross.

Meaning…you didn’t say anything about loud.

Ah, I, uh, see that B^4 beat me to the WIRLWIND. Carry on.

I have also found the very odd* concept of being yourself can be quite helpful, as well.

Yea, that thing about the compliment and stuff, that was meant for the “OMG! BOOBIES!” type, as opposed to people who are comfortable in their own skin.

“Are you lost? Because heaven must be missing an angel”

Yeah, that would definitely earn you an eye roll and a “huh, and here I’d thought chestnuts were extinct!”

I have had nothing but bad experiences with the spit bite technique.

You’ll be more fly with sugar lift.

So I don’t know where the “women hate porn” meme comes from.

So here’s the thing. Sure you women like teh occasional pr0n, maybe even at a level roughly equal to teh male commenters here (except actor212 – that guy throws the average way off). But then you talk about these socially inept ninnies who appear to have developed their concept of social interaction with Bow-chika-WOW-wow going in the background.

Chicks don’t self identify as pr0n addicts (generally). If they do have stashes secreted away, it’s usually a couple of toys and not a collection of magazines/videos/woodcuts/etchings. (Some) Guys do. So it’s a relative thing – women “hate” pr0n compared to guys who treat it like a serious hobby and put three or four hours (or more) a day into it. It’s like the same way people can say that you “hate” World of Warcraft if you only have three level 70s.

But – this is probably my “get offa mah lawn” showing. When I was a teen, boobies were hard to see¹. Nowadays with sexting and Chatroulette and IPU² knows what them crazee kids are up to – the dynamic may well be totes different. A paradigm shift – maybe. Or not, I ain’t a young’un anymores so I doan know.

And as if this weren’t long and humourlessly dildonic enough, this is just the tip of the – no wait, it is long enough. I’ll rant about gender issues and pr0n later, maybe when I’m over being freaked out that my parents read S,N!

¹ Shamelessly stolen from MovieBob who’s Heavy Metal review adds some more insight into this phenomenon.
² Blessed be her unseeable pinkness – totes not a VVJJR – and may she grind her under her righteous hooves if you think so. Blasphemer.

I just put the summary up- it was a good lecture about animal group dynamics, accompanied by several pints of Kelso St. Gowanus.

“Example of Foul Bite”.
Any resemblance to DKW’s mum is purely coincidental.

One good thing about being both older and married for multiple decades is that I get to deal with attractive women as real people because there’s no way it’d ever be anything else. Not that I don’t notice their best attributes so to speak, but it’s a secondary issue and thus easy to get past. The way I see it is that by just talking with them I get the pleasure of their company for a little bit.

You all will be shocked to discover that I’ve gotten to know some of the nicest people that way.

“Are you lost? Because heaven must be missing an angel”

Yeah, that would definitely earn you an eye roll and a “huh, and here I’d thought chestnuts were extinct!”

Right. Now imagine it as said by Groucho Marx or Dr. House. Different take entirely.

as opposed to people who are comfortable in their own skin.

The thought of people who are more comfortable in someone else’s skin is the reason for anonymity on the Intertuba.

I get to deal with attractive women as real people because there’s no way it’d ever be anything else.

My ex could argue otherwise.

So here’s the thing. Sure you women like teh occasional pr0n, maybe even at a level roughly equal to teh male commenters here (except actor212 – that guy throws the average way off). But then you talk about these socially inept ninnies who appear to have developed their concept of social interaction with Bow-chika-WOW-wow going in the background.

Chicks don’t self identify as pr0n addicts (generally). If they do have stashes secreted away, it’s usually a couple of toys and not a collection of magazines/videos/woodcuts/etchings. (Some) Guys do. So it’s a relative thing – women “hate” pr0n compared to guys who treat it like a serious hobby and put three or four hours (or more) a day into it. It’s like the same way people can say that you “hate” World of Warcraft if you only have three level 70s.

You may have a point there. I mean if you compare a woman who dabbles with a couple of toys and –cough–erotica, she’s probably not going to seem as into to a guy who wanks to it every day, a couple times a day.

IT PUTS THE LOTION IN THE BASKET!

AND NOW YOU SHAL REAP THE SWIRLIE-WIND!

Am I the only one concerned about all the small family businesses that will fail if the Government won’t let us pass our A’s and B’s on to our children?

Whale Chowder, I like the cut of your jib.

(She’s clearly steamed at me. I don’t blame her, really, because she must deal with this shit constantly…but damnit, can’t a guy get a mulligan?)

Women have no business getting all uptight about that. There’s a line obviously, and touching is way over that line, but having a look every now and then is not harassment.

Besides, who wouldn’t want to be gawked at? The few times I’ve noticed it happening to me, I liked it–even if the women weren’t attractive.

There’s a line obviously, and touching is way over that line, but having a look every now and then is not harassment.

Agreed. It happens to me fairly regularly and it doesn’t offend me. The only time it would offend me is if the gaze felt threatening in some way.

… a guy who wanks to it every day, a couple times a day.

Even the ones that don’t. There are seriously loads of guys out there who collect pr0n outside of masturbatory aids. They consider themselves amateur curators of art (interesting aside – amateur has it’s roots [heh] from the french [heh heh] for lover).

Who’s to say that they’re wrong either?

.
.

The rest of society, that’s who.

Women have no business getting all uptight about that. There’s a line obviously, and touching is way over that line, but having a look every now and then is not harassment.

It’s just that the resultant puddle of drool constituted a hazardous condition. She should have called OSHA.

Not necessarily. Sometimes, if you pull just the right tone and wink and a nod, even a cheesy line like “Are you lost? Because heaven must be missing an angel” works.

But it’s very tricky and the degree of difficulty is high on that one.

I’m entirely incapable of saying something like that without turning beet red and stumbling all over my tongue. Now I can pull off a joke designed to look like one of those lines, but only after some interest in speaking to me has been shown. I’m not the risk taker you are. Spokane is NOT New York City. Not even in the same zip code.

Not necessarily. Sometimes, if you pull just the right tone and wink and a nod, even a cheesy line like “Are you lost? Because heaven must be missing an angel” works.

But it’s very tricky and the degree of difficulty is high on that one.

Sorta depends on who you are. I unfortunately tend to look a bit creepy (eye problems), so I can never rely on the basic level of goodwill that that approach requires. I’d get a drink thrown at me post-haste.

She should have called OSHA.

Also, if said gawking was gawky enough to embarass the gawker, gawkee is justified in cold shoulder application. Probably too late now, but has a heartfelt apology been issued? That’d probably be a good first step to making amends.

OTOH, BOOBIES!

Agreed. It happens to me fairly regularly and it doesn’t offend me. The only time it would offend me is if the gaze felt threatening in some way.

I’ve been caught in a stunned stare before, and I think that was what was being described. I just hate that people get so uptight about these things. A look and a smile are harmless and should be taken as a compliment.

OTOH, BOOBIES!

I know, right? Sorry girls–as long as you have them, and especially when we can see any part of them, we’re gonna have a look.

I’ve been caught in a stunned stare before, and I think that was what was being described. I just hate that people get so uptight about these things. A look and a smile are harmless and should be taken as a compliment.

I agree. There’s acknowledgment that men should treat women as human beings and with a modicum of respect and also recognizing that, yes, sometimes biology takes over and as long as no one is being made uncomfortable, that’s ok.

…we’re gonna have a look.

Although most of us will agree to follow the social convention of pretending not to. While we might seem to be perfectly reasonable and civilized human beings but what we’re really thinking is BOOBIES.

AND NOW YOU SHALL REAP THE CURLY FRIES!

While we might seem to be perfectly reasonable and civilized human beings but what we’re really thinking is BOOBIES.

Speak for yourself. I’m thinking vajayjay.

I KANN REEP WORLD WEENS NAO

AND NOW YOU SHALL REAP THE CURLY FRIES!

*opens mouth* Happy to accept the punishment.*

*Yes, this response if rife with opportunities for super-dirty jokes. Hey. The thread made me do it.

There’s acknowledgment that men should treat women as human beings and with a modicum of respect and also recognizing that, yes, sometimes biology takes over and as long as no one is being made uncomfortable, that’s ok.

In my thinking, the big problem is that society has so repressed sexuality that we don’t even know that the thoughts we have about (BOOBIES) the other sex are not shared by that (BULGE) gender.

Speak for yourself.

I was. No one’s going to think that you’re a perfectly reasonable and civilized human being. At least not before the roofies kick in.

While we might seem to be perfectly reasonable and civilized human beings but what we’re really thinking is BOOBIES.

Speak for yourself. I’m thinking vajayjay.

OK, I liked you all better when you were pretending to be gentlemen.

Gawking can be nice, or it can be pretty creepy. Someone who blushed when he realized he was staring and tried to get back to work is nice, not creepy.

*opens mouth* Happy to accept the punishment.*

*whistling softly to self*

Besides, who wouldn’t want to be gawked at?

It depends on who is doing the gawking, in what context, and exactly how the gawking is done…if a dude just glances at my boobs or whatever in the grocery store, I don’t really care. But if your mouth could catch flies and you’re supposed to be talking to me and can’t/won’t make eye contact, there’s a problem.

… when you were pretending to be gentlemen.

That’s what your mom… wait, when where we pretending to be gentlemen?

Although most of us will agree to follow the social convention of pretending not to.

That’s fine. That’s all I ask. Just, you know, treat me like a person and don’t make disgusting noises and/or gestures.

OK, I liked you all better when you were pretending to be gentlemen.

Look, I can’t be a lovable scoundrel if I’m not a scoundrel most of the time, mK?

I dunno, DKW, some of these guys had a pretty gentlemanly vibe going on. But I’m kidding…because I love, anyway.

OK, I liked you all better when you were pretending to be gentlemen.

Wait, when was that?

Just, you know, treat me like a person and don’t make disgusting noises and/or gestures.

In fairness to my fellow brethren, it may not be your tits. That’s just how we talk.

actor, I wouldn’t want you to change a smidge. I find you delightful…and I’m not being snarky!

Oh my. Can ANY of these goofs actually write well?

On the bright side, she has GREAT spelling!

A recent Rasmussen poll shows that a large majority of Americans believe capitalism is better than socialism, with only 18% of the country preferring socialism.

Yes, “capitalism” is still viewed positively by a majority of Americans. But it is just by a bare majority. Only 52% of all Americans react positively. Thirty-seven percent say they have a negative reaction and the rest aren’t sure. A year ago, a Rasmussen poll found similar reactions. Then, only 53% of Americans described capitalism as “superior” to socialism.

Organizations like the Clare Boothe Luce Policy Institute can help students bring some of the country’s leading conservative women to speak on college campuses. Students will come out in droves to hear from someone like Ann Coulter because it’s a refreshing break from the socialist diatribe they normally hear from their professors chance to see if she’ll finally snap & eat a bullet onstage.

Fixt for moar dreamy goodness.

my GPA petition video only took me 30 minutes to film and reached thousands YouTube, received coverage in a Townhall column, was shown at Young America’s Foundation’s West Coast Leadership Conference, and is used as an activism example in Jason Mattera’s upcoming book “Obama Zombies: How the Obama Machine Brainwashed My Generation.”

As has already been pointed out, her GPA trolling is both moronic & hypocritical – without a lot of shit-disturbing from those yucky liberals she loathes so much, her ovaries would automatically disqualify her from voting or having human rights, let alone going to university – not to mention her suspicious deficit of whiteness.

Hope there’s some citation in Mattera’s book to Obama Zombies baaaaawing in front of life-sized cardboard icons of their Messiah – you know, like all those kids did while praying for/to Bush in “JESUS CAMP” … I think some “Crusade” references would also help.

Speaking of free enterprise:

CBLPI is a tax exempt 501 (c)(3) organization. Contributions are eligible for a tax deduction.

NO GOVERNMENT HANDOUTS (except for this one … oh, & this one … oh yeah, & that one too)!!!

Wait, when was that?

Did you blink? If so, you missed it.

I’m entirely incapable of saying something like that without turning beet red and stumbling all over my tongue.

That would charm me more than some jokey line.

Actually, I’d probably find it endearing so long as you didn’t say something about her attributes…which would be…gross.

Oh heck no, but it was pretty obvious what I *would* have said. No drooling, either. Ah well.

…we’re gonna have a look.
Although most of us will agree to follow the social convention of pretending not to.

Also there is NOTHING CREEPY about wearing dark glasses all the time.
It’s for a MEDICAL CONDITION.

I said and: “As according to the narrative of and approved by, the patriarchy.”

And Actor you said: “That argument is about thirty years out of date.”

Yeah, but its still prescient, unfortunately, at least on this planet. If things have moved forward for women on your planet, please get me an invite on the next ship out.

“Sometimes, if you pull just the right tone and wink and a nod, even a cheesy line like “Are you lost? Because heaven must be missing an angel” works.”

Not with me in the old days when it seems quite a many men thought I was all the hawtness and would succumb to lines like this.

I remember one guy staring at me across a bar-room table, me trapped because he was a friend of my friend, saying, “My God your eyes are like nothing I’ve ever seen!”

No, it didn’t work then and wouldn’t even work now, even though no men give a damn about my eyes these days. At least ones that can see.

I agree. There’s acknowledgment that men should treat women as human beings and with a modicum of respect and also recognizing that, yes, sometimes biology takes over and as long as no one is being made uncomfortable, that’s ok.

I also agree that there is a line. I don’t like being thought of as a creep.

jim, are you actually trying to talk about the subject at hand, instead of p0rn, tits or pick-up lines? Because, seriously…you’re harshing our mellow.*

*as you get to know me, you’ll get that I’m joking and I actually enjoy all the posts here, both serious and on-topic and silly and off-topic

In fairness to my fellow brethren, it may not be your tits. That’s just how we talk.

Not all of you. Just most of you.

I’m entirely incapable of saying something like that without turning beet red and stumbling all over my tongue.

That would charm me more than some jokey line.

Me, too.

I also agree that there is a line. I don’t like being thought of as a creep.

Interestingly, you come across the the exact opposite of a creep.

Yeah, but its still prescient, unfortunately, at least on this planet. If things have moved forward for women on your planet, please get me an invite on the next ship out.

After I said that, Kate, I meant to expound on it a bit, since I anticipated your rebuttal, but then the site got all screwy and then I saw you were leaving me.

Us, I mean.

I didn’t mean that the patriarchy isn’t still vibrant and oppressive. What I meant was that, thirty years ago, the imposition of the patriarchal attitude was certainly more mandatory than it is now.

Now women have choices to opt out. Sure, the pressure to conform is still there, and yes, they are very powerful, but there’s also a support for women to defy those conventions which did not exist back in the Reagan era and earlier.

I also agree that there is a line. I don’t like being thought of as a creep.

I understand. And it varies from person to person. All you can really do is try not to cross that line, and when you do, apologize. If she doesn’t accept your apology, well, that’s life, and, unfortunately, part of being male in this society. We’re going to be scared by or creeped out by men from time to time, even if they don’t intend it. It’s not going to change until our society changes.

In fairness to my fellow brethren, it may not be your tits. That’s just how we talk.

Not all of you. Just most of you.
———————————————————————–
SCENE:

Actor and B^4 are at the Secret Science Society.

Actor: Where’d you park?

B^4: (grunts and jerks his thumb over his shoulder)

Actor: Uh huh. Mmm? *pointing to the bar*

B^4: (nods) Uh huh. Mmm? *pointing to me, indicating “you buying?”*

Actor: (glares) hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm (nods)
———————————————————————
See? Pointing and nodding: the very essence of male communication

I also agree that there is a line. I don’t like being thought of as a creep.

Interestingly, you come across the the exact opposite of a creep.

A non-creep with a slightly dangerous edge, I hope.

Dude. It got all serious in here all of a sudden.

Moar pr0n!!!!!!!

A non-creep with a slightly dangerous edge, I hope.

So YOU’RE my doppelganger!

See? Pointing and nodding: the very essence of male communication

It’s actually a very advanced method of communication.

Moar pr0n!!!!!!!

*pointing*

Those look awfully heavy, VS. Can I carry them for ya?

A non-creep with a slightly dangerous edge, I hope.

Dude, you keep being respectful of women and having an awesome sense of humor and you’re never gonna want for female company.

It’s actually a very advanced method of communication.

Efficient, too!

Those look awfully heavy, VS. Can I carry them for ya?

ROFL…ok, that joke is so corny as to be endearing.

Anybody in Oklahoma? There’s tornado warnings and watches over nearly the entire state.

that joke is so corny as to be endearing.

You see? They can work!

See? Pointing and nodding: the very essence of male communication

Hm, not for my husband. We were out with some friends we hadn’t seen in a while last night, and I first asked him nicely not to interrupt me, and then, after the THIRD TIME, I said, quite loudly “WHY DO YOU KEEP INTERRUPTING ME?” Which then caused all our friends to walk off. In fact, I think I might be the less communicative of the two of us…

Oh, and just so the women on this site don’t think I’ve abandoned them…I’ve been nodding my head in agreement. Keep speaking your minds. Your voices are need to counteract my idiotic one.

So YOU’RE my doppelganger!

In yer base steelin yer meterialz!

that joke is so corny as to be endearing.

You see? They can work!

I haz not the skillz for this. Not worthy.

Anybody in Oklahoma? There’s tornado warnings and watches over nearly the entire state.

They’ve been hit hard already.

The weather in the Midwest has been really, really fucking weird the last couple of weeks.

Hm, not for my husband

Strictly between doodz, I should say.

OK, when did Sadly turn into Pandagon? Not that I don’t like da Panda, but really, guys, where’s the troll bashing?

They’ve been hit hard already.

The weather in the Midwest has been really, really fucking weird the last couple of weeks.

Do I sound like one of the global warming deniers when I say I don’t remember weather being so disruptive and unsettled so often in my younger years? (Meaning the unsettled weather should be a warning sign that we’d best start paying attention to our greenhouse gas output)

Seems like there are more floods in more places, more tornadoes, I know for fact that hurricanes are on the rise in number and intensity…

This says nothing of the melting ice…

Also there is NOTHING CREEPY about wearing dark glasses all the time.
It’s for a MEDICAL CONDITION.

Innsmouth look?

Actor: Where’d you park?

B^4: (grunts and jerks his thumb over his shoulder)

Points towards Bronx.

where’s the troll bashing

We smacked a couple of the regulars around last night, but they’re all drive-by bitchez these days.

Seems like there are more floods in more places, more tornadoes, I know for fact that hurricanes are on the rise in number and intensity…

Just wait until the petro-hurricanes hit the Gulf of Mexico region, courtesy of BP, Halliburton, and Transocean.

these are pretty good. but really, ‘Hello Kitty’ and Spock together like that? That’s pretty kinky!

I just found out that creepy dude I was talking about earlier signed my cousin’s yearbook and mentioned me in his note to her…so weird!

Argh, stupid WordPress.. ahem–thumbing through Actor’s etching—these are pretty good. but really, (turns one sideways) ‘Hello Kitty’ and Spock together like that? That’s pretty kinky!

Just wait until the petro-hurricanes hit the Gulf of Mexico region, courtesy of BP, Halliburton, and Transocean.

We will reap the oil wind.

off to warp young people’s minds in class. Maybe if I start off licking my eyebrows they’ll pay closer attention…

I think dating and meeting gets easier as you get older, as people get more secure with themselves and are less worried about how they are percieved. Unfortunately, the options dwindle as well, and a lot of who’s available is actually crazy.

But that makes for good stories 🙂 Just can’t take it too seriously to start with.

We still talking about pr0n? The icky kind with women, I mean. Eeeww.

“(She’s clearly steamed at me. I don’t blame her, really, because she must deal with this shit constantly…but damnit, can’t a guy get a mulligan?).”

Guys like you never made me angry, I always thought it was kinda cute, especially if I got to catch your embarrassed eye again and give a smile.

Do I sound like one of the global warming deniers when I say I don’t remember weather being so disruptive and unsettled so often in my younger years?

I’ve noticed the same thing, probably more in the past 2-3 years or so. I do not like it.

Just wait until the petro-hurricanes hit the Gulf of Mexico region, courtesy of BP, Halliburton, and Transocean.

Ah, don’t worry though, BP and Transocean will earnestly make every attempt and spare no expense to save the gulf from this disaster. The government will hold them accountable.

‘Hello Kitty’ and Spock together…

Now THAT’s the kinda pr00n we want to talk about it. Do go on.

OK, I liked you all better when you were pretending to be gentlemen.

Pretending is hard work.

*Grunt*
*Point*

I’ve noticed the same thing, probably more in the past 2-3 years or so. I do not like it.

I don’t either. I’m just always trying to avoid sounding like Dennis Miller: “it was HOT when I was a kid, therefore there is no global warming.”

I just found out that creepy dude I was talking about earlier signed my cousin’s yearbook and mentioned me in his note to her…so weird!

Also he has your yearbook picture tattoo’d on him, and he tells people about your awesome times together until he dumped you because you were a crazy bitch.

Just guessing.

Now THAT’s the kinda pr00n we want to talk about it. Do go on.

Now I’m disappointed. I thought we were going to talk about gay pr0n.

Also he has your yearbook picture tattoo’d on him, and he tells people about your awesome times together until he dumped you because you were a crazy bitch.

Do you know him???

Hello Kitty’ and Spock together…

Now THAT’s the kinda pr00n we want to talk about it. Do go on.

But Pupi, I didn’t think you liked porn with a pussy in it?

Also he has your yearbook picture tattoo’d on him, and he tells people about your awesome times together until he dumped you because you were a crazy bitch.

She slapped him on the face, and when he pulled together enough to ask why, she said it was because she thought he’d like it! Then she broke up with him because he wasn’t pervy enough and how he did cry.

Guys like you never made me angry, I always thought it was kinda cute, especially if I got to catch your embarrassed eye again and give a smile.

Now that’s what I’m talking about! At least some of us actually are embarassed when we get busted looking, which tells you that we mean no harm. It’s just really really hard not to look. You girls just don’t understand!

“Unfortunately, the options dwindle as well, and a lot of who’s available is actually crazy. “

This is the truth.

I am available.

She slapped him on the face, and when he pulled together enough to ask why, she said it was because she thought he’d like it! Then she broke up with him because he wasn’t pervy enough and how he did cry.

You know him, too????

She slapped him on the face, and when he pulled together enough to ask why, she said it was because she thought he’d like it! Then she broke up with him because he wasn’t pervy enough and how he did cry.

Which only aroused her further, whereupon she slapped him, harder and harder, screaming “you like that, bitch? Huh? Do you? Who’s your momma, bitch?”

T&U, you’re a BAD girl.

And maybe several personal items of yours he dug out of your trash. You really missed out!

Seems like there are more floods in more places, more tornadoes, I know for fact that hurricanes are on the rise in number and intensity…”

It is really hard to say one weather system is because of global warming, but there were a lot of strong, strange storms this winter.

“Now that’s what I’m talking about! At least some of us actually are embarassed when we get busted looking, which tells you that we mean no harm. It’s just really really hard not to look. You girls just don’t understand!”

Yes, its because you were humiliated and ashamed of your base nature and tried to overcome it and be a better man. That is attractive.

The leering, lurching, lunging, shameless man with the quickie, too smooth wink and the “Hey babee!” smile is not.

At for me. One I feel like is a human who will not hurt me. The other is a real threat to my safety and sanity.

Yeah, I thought he’d like being punched in his smarmy face. Oopsie!

“Unfortunately, the options dwindle as well, and a lot of who’s available is actually crazy. “

I am available.

I know–I hit the spot in my life where the younger ones with daddy(?) issues and unavailable ones have gotten pushy. While flattering, it is also scary and depressing.

Which only aroused her further, whereupon

Enough already! I DO NOT WANT to hear about the pegging. Please, for humanity’s sake, STOP!

Enough already! I DO NOT WANT to hear about the pegging. Please, for humanity’s sake, STOP!

Calm down. I save that for the guys I *really* like.

Pupienus Maximus,

…I’ll bookmark it for those times when I just need some hatred, fear and psychosis in my life…

My pleasure. It is a special site. Feel the psychosis!

Reading through this thread, I’m officially embarrassed now. Forgetting that tsam has 3 teenage daughters, I condescendingly told him he’d do all right with the ladyfolk. ROFL! Sorry, tsam. I reckon you don’t need my pep talks.

This is the truth.

I am available.

Dammit kate, I am way too attracted to crazy! Don’t entice me!

Which may actually be more of the problem…lol.

“sometimes biology takes over and as long as no one is being made uncomfortable, that’s ok.

Ah, but many times offense is taken and the prudish are made uncomfortable by perfectly normal and natural behavior,even if only observed, like two people of the same sex kissing hello/goodbye or engaging in affectionate touching. Women seem to be allowed to get away with more of it than men before the tight-lipped sniffs of disapproval start in.

I find it kind of entertaining to annoy the blue-stockings. They made me uncomfortable for years with their heterosexual assumptions and questions about my girlfriends (not even a Canadian one, sorry) It’s also been a long time since anyone has actually threatened me, being a reasonably large and ostensibly butch, muscular male with scary tattoos and piercings living in Sonoma County, California. That I can also be charming and polite puts most women at ease(Moms love me), but it’s risible when the insecure hold their partners tighter against themselves when they see me coming. The boys who do so seem to want to emphasize their hetero status and the girls look like they don’t trust their dogs off leash. Many men are just opportunists when it comes to getting off.

Porn? Everyday, often more than once a day if there’s no actual-factual-in-the-flesh dude in my grasp. Harassment? I’ve been a self-employed landscaper for a long time. I really have no experience of corporate life. The guys I have worked with sometimes claimed to have seen an anaconda in the bushes, but it’s always turned out to be a harmless trouser snake. Their venom is not toxic to me, when properly handled.

I get to deal with attractive women as real people because there’s no way it’d ever be anything else.

My ex could argue otherwise.

Wait, your ex is DKW’s mom?

Also:

…it varies from person creep to person creep.

Fizzled for moar honestly.

. The guys I have worked with sometimes claimed to have seen an anaconda in the bushes, but it’s always turned out to be a harmless trouser snake

William Higgins studio circa 1985?

Reading through this thread, I’m officially embarrassed now. Forgetting that tsam has 3 teenage daughters, I condescendingly told him he’d do all right with the ladyfolk. ROFL! Sorry, tsam. I reckon you don’t need my pep talks.

What? I’m also a man, and evolved way beyond the point of thinking my daughters are anything other than human, and realize that they will be targets of dudes with awesome pickup lines. You owe me no apology whatsoever. Please don’t be embarassed on my account. And I found nothing condescending in what you said! It’s all good!

Besides, vacuumslayer, a little validation is what we’re all looking for, deep down, right? I took it as a total compliment.

hat I can also be charming and polite puts most women at ease(Moms love me), but it’s risible when the insecure hold their partners tighter against themselves when they see me coming. The boys who do so seem to want to emphasize their hetero status and the girls look like they don’t trust their dogs off leash.

I don’t get jealous as long as there’s video…

The guys I have worked with sometimes claimed to have seen an anaconda in the bushes, but it’s always turned out to be a harmless trouser snake. Their venom is not toxic to me, when properly handled.

Hee.

“The guys I have worked with sometimes claimed to have seen an anaconda in the bushes, but it’s always turned out to be a harmless trouser snake. Their venom is not toxic to me, when properly handled.”

I’ve worked with guys who claim to have an anaconda in the bushes but again, like you, it turned out to be just a harmless little garder snake.

No problem and men have found that I am approachable if approached quietly and with respect and discretion. Hollering and telling all your buddies will not win the prize you so thought you had last night and I mean it. I don’t like tattle-tales.

Doobie-doobie-dooo… workin’ all day, think I’ll see what the Sadlynaughts are up… *sniff* *sniff* Wait, how come this thread reeks of open ass and confessional neurosis? Y’all coulda opened a window, you know…

Like when one of my bestest buddies called me up a few months ago and said, “So and so said that you and he were gonna….on this trip we’re planning…and then he’s gonna… to you and then…”

“What the fuck is that about?” was his inquiry. To which, because I still have some pride left, I said and most honestly meaning it (which was a change from my secret thoughts the night before), “He’s out of his mind, I wouldn’t touch him on a bet.”

I may not be the youngster I was, but I have my principles and some principals too sometimes.

Wait, how come this thread reeks of open ass and confessional neurosis?

Glad it’s not just me this time.

I mean, the confessional neurosis part, not the open ass part. Gross.

Keep reading.

No problem and men have found that I am approachable if approached quietly and with respect and discretion. Hollering and telling all your buddies will not win the prize you so thought you had last night and I mean it. I don’t like tattle-tales.

**scribbling down notes….***

Doobie-doobie-dooo… workin’ all day, think I’ll see what the Sadlynaughts are up… *sniff* *sniff* Wait, how come this thread reeks of open ass and confessional neurosis? Y’all coulda opened a window, you know…

We all had a good cry, and now we’re feeling much closer and much more validated!

Now I feel foolish.

Thank you tsam

Doobie-doobie-dooo… workin’ all day, think I’ll see what the Sadlynaughts are up… *sniff* *sniff* Wait, how come this thread reeks of open ass and confessional neurosis? Y’all coulda opened a window, you know…

Coprophagy seems to be all the rage these days.

Speak for yourself bald man.

Yay! Glad it’s all good,tsam.

Coprophagy seems to be all the rage these days.

Malfunctioning People I Like Robots are everywhere.

Coprophagy seems to be all the rage these days.

The first word I have ever been proud to admit that I had to look up.

**fruckin wretch**

DO NOT WANT. NOT FIT FOR HUMAN CONSUMPTION. WHO in the fuck likes that shit? Oh gawd–stuff, I mean!

Physicians used to taste their patients excretions, to better judge their state and condition

I’m gonna bookmark this Wiki just in case I ever hear a doctor complain about his/her job! HAHA!

The first word I have ever been proud to admit that I had to look up.

Try helminthemesis.

Francois Rabelais, in his classic Gargantua and Pantagruel, often empoys the expression mache-merde or machemerde, meaning shit-chewer. It is in turn a citation of the Greek comedians Aristophanes and particularly Menander, which often use the therm skatophagos (??????????).[10] In one dialogue, Rabelais speaks of coprophagia as a Christian gesture, saying that monks swallow the shit of the world, that is the sins, and for this they are ostracized by society

This just keeps getting more interesting. I should probably shutup now.

Try helminthemesis.

No, no I think I’m good, dude. Thanks.

This infectious disease article is a stub.

Sweet mercy. Worms inside me. DO NOT WANT.

Physicians used to taste their patients excretions, to better judge their state and condition

That’s what my urologist tells me, too.

Whale Chowder, I like the cut of your jib.

Veiled Foreskin Holocaust reference!

DO NOT WANT. NOT FIT FOR HUMAN CONSUMPTION. WHO in the fuck likes that shit? Oh gawd–stuff, I mean!

Who said anything about human consumption?

“Physicians used to taste their patients excretions, to better judge their state and condition.”

Considering that so many physicians have had a long history of riding the plentiful wave of private insurance wealth distribution while so many in this country die for lack of access to basic care, the thought really gives me a little bit of delight.

Almost as much as the delight I felt when I informed the docs that were about to operate on me in 2001 that my dad was a malpractice surgeon.

I was high on valium and made the mention while rambling about something else, only when I heard an instrument drop on the floor and the room suddenly hush that i had an inkling of my little taste of power — however fleeting.

Physicians used to taste their patients excretions, to better judge their state and condition. because they were ashamed of their poor-quality pick-up lines.

“malpractice surgeon” should have read malpractice attorney. Lard I can’t multitask.

N_B keeping it on topic, like the straight guy in a room full of drunks.

thread reeks of open ass and confessional neurosis

To be honest, after about a hundred posts all the good snark is taken and it becomes a running stream-of-consciousness yakfest. Sue us.

thread DKW’s gran reeks of open ass and confessional neurosis

Better?

Who said anything about human consumption?

Imma gonna go out on a limb and guess there are no mangoes at those links…

N_B keeping it on topic, like the straight guy in a room full of drunks.

“Like”?

Who said anything about human consumption?

Somebody is a little too fascinated with that sort of thing.

That guy named Wikepedia is where I came up with the human component.

Physicians used to taste their patients excretions, to better judge their state and condition. because they were ashamed of their poor-quality pick-up lines.

HAHAHA!! Today’s winner!

It is really hard to say one weather system is because of global warming, but there were a lot of strong, strange storms this winter.

This spring has been no quieter. We’ve had winds here in Western Mass recently that were knocking down tress and all kinds of other shit. A life-long resident told me the windiness used to die down once the trees get leaves. Not so much anymore. Just the other day, we had a frontal boundary come through and I saw a very coherent column of dust forming in a field nearby. Didn’t get to funnel cloud shape, but was working at it.

Is this a good pick-up story, or what?

Imma gonna go out on a limb and guess there are no mangoes at those links…

One is picture of a …cute?…sloth.

Imma gonna go out on a limb and guess there are no mangoes at those links…

HELLO, mangoes aren’t tetrapods.

Have any of my links been really bad? Huh?

Is this a good pick-up story, or what?

Hey babe, you excite my differential wind shear…

Sue us.

Hey, no complaints from me. I would note, however, that all it took was one measly little “open ass” comment to get everyone talking about POOP again (as god intended).

Hey babe, you excite my differential wind shear…

dangnabit N_B, yer steelin all the good um words n stuff! I was JUST going to go there.

Is this a good pick-up story, or what?

Hey babe, help me achieve a funnel cloud shape and REAP THE WIRLWIND!!!!!!!

Hey, no complaints from me. I would note, however, that all it took was one measly little “open ass” comment to get everyone talking about POOP again (as god intended).

You trying to say we’re like, predictable or something?

Is this a good pick-up story, or what?

“Yep, scary times…. sure would suck to die alone, huh?”

“ust the other day, we had a frontal boundarylobotomy come through and I saw a very coherent column of dust forming in a field nearby.

Now that would make me turn and look at you. For a minute.

You trying to say we’re like, predictable or something?

Veiled multiple-orgasm reference.

That’s what my urologist tells me, too.

They didn’t usually offer to drink it straight from the hose, though.

“Yep, scary times…. sure would suck to die alone, huh?”

**sniff**

*sniff*

Waaaahhhahahhaaahahaaa….

Have any of my links been really bad? Huh?

Forgive me for being gunshy when it comes to POOP.

Plus, I’m on my Android, so I can’t even hover over links.

“Imma gonna go out on a limb and guess there are no mangoes at those links…

Just let me tell you this, the salamander, meh, but sloths? I’m telling you the one poking his head outta the latrine looks way too, “Hey dude! This is like so rad!”

Hey babe, you excite my differential wind shear…

Help me with my, hur hur hur, wind sock!

Hey babe, help me achieve a funnel cloud shape and REAP THE WIRLWIND!!!!!!!TASTE THE RAINBOW!!!11!

Plus, I’m on my Android

Veiled Menstruation Reference?

I’m on my Android

Midwesterner/robot slash.

Plus, I’m on my Android, so I can’t even hover over links.

Veiled Dominatrix Reference.

HA!! T&U is being ambushed–OH NOEZ V****R!

They didn’t usually offer to drink it straight from the hose, though.

So that’s why they give you the plastic shot glass to pee into!

so I can’t even hover over links.

Veiled Failed Cleveland Steamer Reference

And before anybody says anything, no, I’m not straddling a sex robot.

And before anybody says anything

I’m not “anybody.”

no, I’m not straddling a sex robot.

Of course not; that would certainly have had you hovering.

Arrg no fair I can’t type fast enough and I’m getting motion sick!

Besides, it’d prolly be messy, what with you being “on your Android” and all.

And before anybody says anything, no, I’m not straddling a sex robot.

Ok, we won’t say anything.

**snicker**

Arrg no fair I can’t type fast enough and I’m getting motion sick!

Is the robot trying to buck you off?

Ad this bus smells like rotten lettuce.

So that’s why they give you the plastic shot glass to pee into!

I thought it was, so they could fill the rest with Jaegermeister to make a shot called : REAP THE WIND THAT GOES IN CIRCLES REALLY FAST!

I hate all of you.

Veiled Failed Cleveland Steamer Reference

Hover, fine. Hoover, not so good.

Did I just post that?

this bus smells like rotten lettuce.

Is D-KW’s mom there?

I hate all of you.

But we love you!

Ooops, missed your stop!

Arrg no fair I can’t type fast enough and I’m getting motion sick!

Pfft, you can’t fool us, you’re TOTALLY on a sexbot.

Actually, yeah. She offered everyone on the bus oral sex, but I declined, as I’m fresh out of dental dams.

Hover, fine. Hoover, not so good.

If she’s hovering over vacuumslayer then she’d be hovering over the hoover.

And VS would finally get her UGH.

Back to the lesbo motif, eh? Anne Droid.

Is it wrong of me to want to smash two of my coworkers in the mouth with a fucking hammer because they whistle incessantly?

OT.

POOPENIS Maximus: we’re slaves to our fantasy lives, what can we say?

Back to the lesbo motif, eh? Anne Droid.

Naked. Came. The. Robot?

My copy is on the way! I see Pupi has a side job as a novelist! Well done!

Anne Droid.

HOT.

tsam: earlier today, in the cube behind me one guy was on a conference call…over speakerphone. In the cube across from him three guys were working together, loudly, to debug a code problem. I feels ya, bro.

Ooops, missed your stop!

No, but I did write that thing about DKW’s mom as I was walking in the rain, which demonstrates my level of obsession dedication.

A Latent Appliance
Fetishist
Is a person who
refuses to admit
to his or herself
That sexual
gratification can
only be achieved
Through the use of
MACHINES…

GRR… is Blogspot broken? I wanted to link to SC’s robot-related post from yesterday, but the site, she no wanna load.

http://eusa-riddled.blogspot.com/

(Enters room)

(looks around)

(shudders, backs slowly out of room)

Fick mich du miserabler Hurensohn -? Streck ihn aus deinen heissen gelockten SCHWANZ – Mach es sehr schnell, rein und raus – Magisches Schwein! – Bis er spritzt – FEUER! – Aber beklecker’ nicht das Sofa!

B⁴ – works fine for me. Must be you.

Plook me, you savage rascal.

Would someone once and for all tell me what UGH stands for? If there’s a dirty joke to be made, I wanna be in on it, dammit.

Catholics, yet another group who is all about the life, right up until it’s born.

Would someone once and for all tell me what UGH stands for?

The University of Greater Hartford.

I see Pupi has a side job as a novelist!

I wish. I won’t call myself a novelist until I’ve actually published one.

VS: I can’t even remember exactly what you said and it doesn’t matter, I just conflated it into lust for T&U and you can really make UGH be anything you want. Don’t read anything into it. Consider the source!

Consider the source!

Be confused by the source code.

Be confused by the source code.

That’s happening to me RIGHT NOW. Get out of my HEAD!!

I missed out on yesterday/last night’s thread, I can’t believe the troll resurfaced, and I think it’s hilarious that the Teabagger lost in Murtha’s old district. I was too busy drinking beer to take in those sweet, sweet wingnut tears!

I wanted to link to SC’s robot-related post

That was Another Kiwi.

VS: I can’t even remember exactly what you said and it doesn’t matter, I just conflated it into lust for T&U and you can really make UGH be anything you want. Don’t read anything into it. Consider the source!

Let’s see, all the doodz are obsessed with it. That should make it pretty obvious, right?

I missed out on yesterday/last night’s thread, I can’t believe the troll resurfaced, and I think it’s hilarious that the Teabagger lost in Murtha’s old district. I was too busy drinking beer to take in those sweet, sweet wingnut tears!

It was awesome. I figured out that we don’t deserve to be Americans, and that nobody knows how many monitors make a wall.

nobody knows how many monitors make a wall.

Well, now that Wendy O. Williams is no longer with us, that’s true.

Good grief, I’m sorry in many ways that I have to work at that place I call “work” these days. This seems like a fun discussion.

Gawking non-creepily

Gawking non-creepily

Stop staring at Trig!

Good to have you back Xecky!

Stop staring at Trig!

I wasn’t staring! I, um, just had an eye booger.

Good to have you back Xecky!

Thanks and happy to stop by. IIRC you know very well what it’s like when work starts being work. Woe.

If by “fun discussion” you mean “open ass and confessional neurosis,” then sure, come on in, the sewer water’s fine.

First person to come up with the best acronym for UGH gets a…cookie?

Ultimate Girly Hard-on

Unfortunate Greek Hummer

U Got Herpes?

Well…it’s a good sign that I’m already chuckling. 😀 Yes I just emoticoned your asses.

Unknown Golden Horde

Hmmph. Went into town for a few hours and come back to find that N__B has already stolen the foreskin-holocaust veiled-circumcision-reference joke.

damnit, can’t a guy get a mulligan?
Is that what the kids are calling it?

Innsmouth look?
Oddly enough, the Frau Doktorin wears a scarf much of the time, claiming that she feels cold whenever the room is comfortably warm for me. Possibly time to check her neck closely for gill slits.

N__B has already stolen the foreskin

You gotta have fast hands if you want to eat.

You gotta have fast hands if you want to eat.,/i>

No, you really are more disgusting today.

Sumbitch. And I’ve only had one cider, too.

N_B I would never regret giving a Greek a hummer.

Big Penis, Herpes is just the least of DKW’s mom’s worries.

Underwear Goes Here

“Possibly time to check her neck closely for gill slits.”

That’s hot.

Underwear Goes Here

D-KW’s mom’s ass tattoo?

“Pupienus Maximus said,
May 20, 2010 at 2:29

Underwear Goes Here”

NOT

Yes I just emoticoned your asses.

%^D

Note: that was not an emoticon, but rather a reduced-scale self-portrait.

Unreliable’s Gizmo, Heh.

Watch Drunk History on Funny or Die. GO NOW.

I can’t deny this; I do have a pretty toothy smile.

*goes to check out drunk history*

Unrelentingly Gruesome Hangover?

Unity Grope Hug?

U-2’s Greatest Hits? (oh-oh)

“Whale Chowder said,
May 20, 2010 at 2:34

Unreliable’s Gizmo, Heh.”

They’re not unreliable as long as you don’t feed them after midnight.

a reduced-scale self-portrait.
Ah, attempting to conceal the Innsmouth look.

Also, too, this podcast, which I am pimping the HAIL out of.

“Unity Grope Hug?”

I think this perfectly describes this thread.

Uterine Glossy Hole

Ugh. I got nothing better than that. YET.

Ugly Girl Hoedown

Unctious Gimp Humper

Ubiquitous GOPer Hipster

Under Grill Hop

Urban Granny Hippie

Uptown Gamble Haunts

Up Good Hips

U Got Heroine?

That’s, that that’s a a double entendre, see?

Uterine Grip Hold

Rofl… Kate yer on a roll

U Get Hell

Urban Granny Hippie

Awesome!

Utterly Good Helper

Ubtichez Got Hips

Umber Glory Hole

Tsam yer first one sounds remarkably sterile AND dirty. Kudos.

Universal Gag Hammer (what?)

United Ghoul Healthcare

Unhinged Gooper Harpy

whew boy

Universal Gag Hammer! Alright!

And the teabagger reference, very good Looch!

Ur Greatest Hope
Universal Genital Humping
Ultimate Gasoline Huffing

Good lord, everyone fell asleep

Union of Gay Hos

Ultimate Gasoline Huffing
Underwater Gay Hoedown

Sounds very southern there 77, sort of Tennessee.

Sounds very southern there 77, sort of Tennessee.

Hey, we have rednecks in Wisconsin too.

77, I am so THERE.

And Pup, I’d be honored to hang out with happy ho’s.

vac: be careful about swimming after huffing though, you might want to do the swimming first and the huffing later…after the fluffing.

DkW’s mom wanted to get in on it too but I told her she’d have to provide a positive STD test first before swimming, she hasn’t called me back.

Uzbekistani Griffon Handling

I mean a negative good jesus help me, no wonder she never called me back!

Unified Groin Habit

Unleashed Gas Hump (poop bubbles!)

provide a positive STD test first before swimming, she hasn’t called me back.
After all of the antibiotics she’s been prescribed, It’s going to take her a while to catch something. Maybe as long as 45 minutes.

Under-rated Goon Holders

Undulating Gyrations, Happily

Ubiquitous Gazelle Huevos

Unexpected Godwinning – HITLER!

Udder Goper’s Hanbook.

BTW, D-KW, thanks for the PENIS. Upthread, I mean. I posted at my place under “Today in PENIS News.”

Ubiquitous Golem Hoedown

Unpossible Geezer Heroics (McCain, R-Arizona)

Unfettered Grift Harridan (Palin, Q-Alaska)

Kate, this all good advice…and extremely amusing acronyms.

Unfettered Grift Harridan

And we have a winner!!!!

Though on second thought, I think “Unfettered Grift Harpy” rolls off the tongue a bit easier.

no prob Jennofark. BTW, if you haven’t checked out Scott Sharkey’s blog recently, you ought to. No new Whiteboard, but the last two posts are really good.

Unionized Goblin Haters

Upturned Grill Holocaust!

Unfettered Grift Harpy

10-4, Eleanor!

Upturned Grill Holocaust!

Un-Glued Hillbilly

560+ comments? “Sadly No!” needs a new agent; Rachel Maddow probably doesn’t get that much attention.

Underpaid Girl Hell

Which is where my daughter is right now telling me how she is going to play poleetics in the corporate world she lives in. I don’t understand it at all, I really don’t.

Undead Geezer Hagiography (St. Ronald the Infirm)

Despite what kate said about my mom, I think Uterine Grip Hold deserves teh cookie.

poleetics in the corporate world

Just like high school, only with mortgages, lawyers and longer knives.

Grunt Buggely

Good nym from Anne Droid.

Here’s another hypothetical—what about a proposal to redistribute body parts, huh? If you’re against that, but want wealth redistributed then that PROOVES that you have been indoctrinated with socialism!!!!1!

Upturned Grill Holocaust

Isn’t that what that Confederate Yankee was suffering when his grill turned over in Tennessee?

Ok…lulz for everybody. ‘slayer, out.

Innsmouth look
A.k.a. the Whale Gaze.

poleetics in the corporate world
Like polemics, but from an etic, extra-cultural perspective.

Isn’t that what that Confederate Yankee was suffering…

No, he was suffering from shitbag assholism. But his charcoal greeyul was indeed overturned as part of a dastardly lie-beral plot.

UGH Bobo Wens episode
Usually Guns Help

Undulating Goiter Hang

Unbelievable Golf Handicap

Usually Guns Help

Unfortunate Goober Happening

Unintelligible Goober Harangue

Unseated Golf Handiclap

Undisclosed Groin Hint*

*VPR

A.k.a. the Whale Gaze.

The objectification of krill is no laughing matter.

Unicorn, Gaily-coloured Hidden

Unintelligible Geller, Harping

Unseemly Goat Harassment*

*h/t Kaus

Usable Glory Hole

Urchin Giving Head
Urban Gamin Hooking
Ultimate Gnarly Hump

HELP ME!! I CAN’T STOP

HELP ME!! I CAN’T STOP

Uncontrollable Gag Habit

See? Pointing and nodding: the very essence of male communication

Hm, not for my husband.

We make an effort for women. Sometimes.

Uveitis Glaucoma Hyphema

Ugly Gassy Harridan

HELP ME!! I CAN’T STOP

Uncontrollable Gag Habit

Unconscionable Gaga Habitue

Unheimlich Gemeiner Haufen

Unclean Glory Hole

Unclean Glory Hole

Redundant.

Also, Using Gin Hastily. Fucking Ho is at Austin City Limits and here I am, _trying_ to entertain myself. Need more gin.

Am I the only one reading this thread and wanking furiously into the slack, open mouth of a severed human head?

Mmmmm… this thread’s starting to accumulate some tasty algae.

Am I the only one reading this thread and wanking furiously into the slack, open mouth of a severed human head?

You’re the only one admitting to it.

Hey! That’s MY head – I want it back fucker.

N__B, obviously I didn’t mean you, seeing as you’re right next to me on the couch.

That explains the hand on my knee.

The other one is still in the fridge. While I’m up… Martini?

Rye on the rocks, thanks.

Unctuous Groin Handler

Union of Geriatric Homophobes

Unlucky Grape Hangar (that one’s for POOPENIS)

Unprogressive Gay Homophobe (Gay Patriot, anyone?)

Utterly Great Hoo-Ha (back on the sort-of-topic)

Also:

Unctious Gimp Humper

So that’s why DKW’s mom had UGH tattooed on her ass!

Like I said, I need entertainment this evening. Keep going, you two.

Uluating Gorilla Humper

vac: be careful about swimming after huffing though, you might want to do the swimming first and the huffing later…after the fluffing.

Uh…when’s the fluffing?

Am I the only one reading this thread and wanking furiously into the slack, open mouth of a severed human head?

The calls. They’re coming from inside my apartment.

Hey! That’s MY head – I want it back fucker.

Just. Another. 30. Seconds. Or. So……

Unctuously Grandiloquent Homunculus.

What’s all this, then?

So that’s why DKW’s mom had UGH tattooed on her ass!

More of a brand than a tattoo, per se.

Unclean Geriatric Hellhole (Why do all my suggestions remind me of someone’s mom?)

So let’s talk about how wonderful the Catlikx is for excommunicating a nun for making the decision to abort an 11 week old fetus rather than let the mother die. I think that’s a perfect example of the “logic” the Church winds itself into with the whole “no abortion EVAR” plan.

God does indeed work in mysterious ways.

Fuck the pope and all who ride in him.

Unclean Geriatric Hellhole (Why do all my suggestions remind me of someone’s mom?)

Grandma, in this case.

Is that Sterno I smell?

So let’s talk about how wonderful the Catlikx is for excommunicating a nun for making the decision to abort an 11 week old fetus rather than let the mother die. I think that’s a perfect example of the “logic” the Church winds itself into with the whole “no abortion EVAR” plan.

Shorter Holy C (U Next Tuesday)
UGH. You libz and your secularism and moral relativism. You’re the reason why priests rape children. There was nothing we could do.

At least the nun doesn’t have to live in the Twilight Zone for the rest of her life. Maybe now she’ll get some fulfullment instead of pleasing the oldest living dogmatic patriarchy.

There is a raging storm rolling through crackertown Spokane. If you lose me, just. go. on. without. me….

dammit. I broked the thread again. Don’t tell mom, please.

Uh…when’s the fluffing?

It depends – you closely resemble your brother in important respects?

if she crosses her legs, purses her lips, and checks her watch you’re doomed.

Pursing her lips: BAD. In public contexts, anyway.
Lipping her purse: GOOD.

It depends – you closely resemble your brother in important respects?

I can be anything you want.