The Most Ridiculous Hyperbole In The Entire History Of The Universe
Cornerdomite Andy McCarthy thinks that he’s the best U.S. Attorney ever, even though his single accomplishment was shooting a blind sheikh in a barrel and even though he is now reduced to collecting wingnut welfare for flapping his gums about his glory day in that single case. As part of his duty as self-proclaimed best U.S. attorney ever, McCarthy has been conducting a blog jihad against Eric Holder. McCarthy’s latest car bomb in his jihad is a post at America’s Shittiest Website™ titled “The Most Transparently Irresponsible Administration in American History.” (The effect of that title would have been complete if McCarthy had only appended “!!!!1!!11!” to it at the end.)
The whooshing sound that you are now hearing is a collective sigh of relief emanating from the graves of Ulysses S. Grant, Warren Harding, and Richard Nixon, all relieved to have been finally outpaced in their own transparent irresponsibility by the Obama Administration in little more than a year.
So what outrage justified McCarthy to slobber out a post naming the Obama administration as one of the most irresponsible administrations in the history of the United States? Did Eric Holder burglarize the Republican National Committee Headquarters last night? Did any Obama appointees skim off millions of dollars of tax revenue from the government to their own financial gain? Did Ken Salazar just take a bribe to award public oil concessions? Did Obama lie about the threat posed by a country before invading it and killing thousands of U.S. soldiers and untold hundreds of thousands of innocent civilians?
Er, no. Eric Holder said something about the Arizona “Show Me Your Papers” law without having read the text of the law itself and based only on what he had read about the law in the newspapers. Of course, even though The Bestest U.S. Attorney Ever had himself not read a word of the health care reform legislation, much less all thousand pages of it, and had only read about it in the newspapers (if that), this did not stop him from spouting off about that legislation. No indeedy, not so much and no siree Bob! McCarthy called it “socialized medicine” and then later called it “rationing and death panels.”
Showing off one of the awesome tricks he learned as the Best U.S. Attorney Ever, McCarthy doesn’t reveal all of the exculpatory evidence in his possession about the Holder statement. According to McCarthy’s evidence linky, but unmentioned by McCarthy, Holder went on to say that this meant his opinion on the bill was not yet finalized precisely because he had only read about it in the newspapers and that he will have read it all, each and every word, before coming to a final conclusion.
Mr. Holder is conducting a review of the law, at President Obama’s request, to see if the federal government should challenge it in court. He said he expects he will read the law by the time his staff briefs him on their conclusions.
“I’ve just expressed concerns on the basis of what I’ve heard about the law. But I’m not in a position to say at this point, not having read the law, not having had the chance to interact with people are doing the review, exactly what my position is,” Mr. Holder told the House Judiciary Committee.
Oddly, Mr. McCarthy didn’t append that little qualification to his own nonsense about rationing, death panels and socialized medicine. Nope. I suppose that makes McCarthy the most transparently irresponsible blogger in the history of blogging. Or, I suppose, it just makes him a gigantic douchebag.
Reading all the primary source material to keep up with major developments in US politics would be at least several full-time jobs.
Journalists are supposed to, theoretically, do bits of this work themselves. Digest information, analyze it, put it in context for readers.
And if Holder had read the text of the bill the headline would still be:
Because how dare Holder actually take the time to read a bill when there are terrorists to be captured?! Or perhaps the headline would be a simple, straight-forward:
Because Holder taking time to read the bill would be proof, I say proof that the Obama administration doesn’t respect the 10th Am., plans to arm 100,000,000,000 illegal immigrants who will invade Arizona, kill all of the ReaLAMEricans(TM) make the state into one giant FEMA death camp and sputter sputter skreeee fap aaargh.
Or, I suppose, it just makes him a gigantic douchebag.
SOP GOPper!
a gigantic douchebag.
He is that; I mean, whose idear was it to prosecute UBL in absentia under RICO?
Andy and Erick should partner up and form a law firm. They could handle parking ticket appeals. And overdue book fine reduction.
Today is the greatest fishing opener in the history of Minnesota and my stringer of walleye will likely sink my boat.
“The Most Transparently Irresponsible Administration in American History.”
After Bush brought us 9/11, Katrina, and the Great Recession, I think Obama has a ways to go before he catches up in the fucking up department.
I have a sudden vision of some poor bastard receiving the nation’s first-ever parking ticket death penalty sentence.
I’m still struggling with how “irresponsibility” (or responsibility) can be “transparent.” Can I be opaquely responsible? Or have a translucently devil-may-care attitude?
Also, Andy McCarthy: Great Douchebag, or the Greatest Douchebag?
Your sauce, it is awesome.
No Buchanan? Although I’m glad you left off Hoover, who actually attempted to combat the Great Depression to a larger degree than most give him credit. As to the post itself, McCarthy’s gonna need one of those adrenal boosts they gave Kyle Reese if he intends to keep up that level of outrage over such trivialities.
“Andrew C. McCarthy”
It’s got to be “Charles.”
Also, Andy McCarthy: Great Douchebag, or the Greatest Douchebag?
Nah. I like Twerp.
Andy McCarthy the Ambulance Chaser
Sadly, they still won’t give me McArglebargle’s job at the Atlantic. Not silly enough, they said. 🙁
Maybe if I huffed a lot of gold paint?
Congrats! But if you are only using a stringer, ur doin it wrong!
You forgot “Did Obama ignore specific warnings from outgoing Bush officials, leading to the largest terrorist attack in the history of the country?” Also, Army Corps of Engineers etc. At first I thought the post title must be meant satirically like Rush Limbaugh Is a Big Fat Idiot, but it turns out to be literally true. My brain huts.
Seriously. This is is like some calling Truman “most re-elected President in U.S history”. AARRRGGGHHH!!!!Bilbo’s last birthday!!1!
Oops. “Someone“.
Just wanted to be the first to steal this nym from Arky. Pure genius dude.
Hey, is anyone else having a problem with Balloon Juice causing explorer to shut down? Maybe that java update is causing the problem…
@Jennifer: Ditch IE and use Chrome instead!
I think I prefer the term “douche-canoe”, coined, if I am not mistaken, by the Bloggess.
Blinded by the Right
Wrapped up like a douche
Another wanker in the night
is anyone else having a problem with Balloon Juice causing explorer to shut down?
so is that what IE is made of?
Hahahaha Jennifer uses IE!
Srsly, Get chrome, firefox, opera _anything_ but IE. It’s for your own good.
Also, Andrew. McCarpy is the Giganticest Shitweasel Ever.
McCarthy, at long last, has no sense of shame.
despite the fact that the man directly quotes AG Holder saying that he’s not going to make an opinion just yet, without reading the bill, Andy “E” McCarthy accuses him of making an opinion w/o reading the bill. The saddest part about this is that no one here seems in the least bit shocked about that. Too much outrage? Or not enough?
McCartney (the blind, deaf, mute, and ugly Beetle):
the few passages in issue have been amended (by HB 2162) to make crystal clear that the law will only apply in the case of a lawful “stop, detention, or arrest” by law-enforcement
This, sir, applies to you too then:
Every time you go outdoors, make sure you bring your papers with ya. Your genealogy papers, that is. Because every time that I see a mouth-breathing, knuckle-dragging white male outside, I will personally pull him over and ask for that Long Form Birth-Rite Certificate. Just to make sure that his ancestors raped, pillaged, stole, displaced, mass murdered, intentionally spread fatal diseases to, and/or enslaved “they.” After all, he will be only to proud to show this side of his familial history and how much better he is than “they” are.
http://readingpalin.blogspot.com/2010/05/using-some-modicum-of-rationality-i.html
I ? Chrome.
That said, we should all bear in mind that some unfortunate souls don’t have install rights on their work machines.
Eric Holder belongs in prison because the treasonous war criminals from the Bush/Cheney junta haven’t been prosecuted and executed yet.That’s why Holder is a shitty AG.
WP broke my (ASCII) heart. FYWP. 🙁
*sobs*
Hey, is anyone else having a problem with Balloon Juice causing explorer to shut down? Maybe that java update is causing the problem…
Tunch is watching you.
Can we use IE to shut down the Deepshit A’Rising gusher?
I’d rather stuff it full of BP/Halliburton/Transwhater executives.
WP broke my (ASCII) heart. FYWP. 🙁
test
,o8o, ,o8o,
,888888,888888,
888888888888888
888888888888888
`8888888888888'
`888888888'
`88888'
`8' mh
hmmm… only renders the first line as code
But . . . if this column makes McCarthy a gigantic douchebag, and he was already a gigantic douchebag . . . I’m just not sure what rules apply. Is he now a ginormous douchebucket? I ask for a friend who’s keeping score at home.
Protip for the ASCII art wannas: use the <code> tag AND replace the spaces with nonbreaking spaces ( ) using whatever find/replace tool you have at your disposal.
I apologize in advance if I just triggered a horrible spasm of ASCII art pollution in here. Sorry.
H. Rumbold, Master
BarberLyricist.fxt
Shorter Right Wing:
Conservatives are the biggest fuckups in all of humanity. Embrace it.
It has to get stressful to be this perpetually outraged. If I were a nice person, I’d worry about their blood pressures.
Yeah, I knew I would get flamed for the question about IE. But honestly, I haven’t had a lot of problems with IE, at least not with the version that came with XP and the subsequent updates. I hear everyone raving about all these other browsers but I’m pretty much a Luddite on all matters computer, so I’ve just gone along with, “well, it seems to be working fine and it’s not causing me problems, so why bother with installing another browser?” It just gives me one less thing to do & learn, I figure.
So now you can all get busy with pointing out all the many ways that IE sucks that I don’t even know about.
BTW, the Balloon Juice issue is fixed – IE needed an update as a result of the Java update.
“tsam said,
May 15, 2010 at 18:41
Shorter Right Wing:
Conservatives are the biggest fuckups in all of humanity. Embrace it.”
oh I’m sorry…You haven’t heard…Dubya is a liberal now. At least that’s how the conservatives remember it as they suck their thumbs, clutch their Teddy bears and rock themselves to sleep.
So now you can all get busy with pointing out all the many ways that IE sucks that I don’t even know about.
The only reason I would encourage you to install something else (STRONGLY) is because IE is incredibly susceptible to security issues. I would suggest Firefox, especially since the basic browsing experience isn’t that much different than IE. Also, you can do much cooler stuff with it, if you do decide to do so.
I’m running Chrome, which I like a lot, though I hate the creepy eye of Google looking over my shoulder. Then again, I figure they own, like, half my life anyway, so the shiny/fast/minimalist stuff is worth the tradeoff.
I apologize in advance if I just triggered a horrible spasm of ASCII art pollution in here. Sorry.
|>
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………. >(‘> >(‘>
………. >()))*>
……….
BREAKING NEWS: Jim Hoft can’t read.
BREAKING NEWS
Hm. Maybe that’s “breaking,” but it’s certainly not news.
oh I’m sorry…You haven’t heard…Dubya is a liberal now. At least that’s how the conservatives remember it as they suck their thumbs, clutch their Teddy bears and rock themselves to sleep.
Ah yes–W the socialist. He tried to do one decent thing (AIDS relief for Africa) and even managed to turn that into a moral majority propaganda campaign.
Amended Shorter:
Conservatives are the biggest fuckups in all of humanity. Embrace psychosis or become a target.
It has to get stressful to be this perpetually outraged. If I were a nice person, I’d worry about their blood pressures.
FUCKING TELL ME ABOUT IT BLARRRGGGGGHHHHHQ!!!!!!111!!!!
BREAKING NEWS: Jim Hoft can’t read.
More BREAKING: Water has been confirmed to be, in fact, wet.
It’s nice to know there will still be fish so far into the future.
OH. MY. GOD.
“Tell ya what ya little basterd, i makes me the soup round here. thats what i do. nobody knows how much but i wont tell them obama dont make soup he dont know i make soup. my eyes are itchin. little basterd things yoosed to be good in the old days. now fags n niggers are takin over but they wont get my soup. stupid kids dont appreciate nothin. woman too.”
Jim Hoft can’t read.
Maybe he a lawyer, as well. He could join the firm.
“Erk, Hoft, McCarthy”
Say it fast, it has panache.
Conservatives are the biggest fuckups in all of humanity. Embrace psychosis or become a target.
The movement can never fail, it can only be failed… any so-called conservatives who fuck up have been liberals all along because, SHUT UP, THAT’S WHY!!!
It’s, like, axiomatic, ‘n’ shit!
‘s.
It fell off the screen when I made that sharp turn.
T&U,
There is a de-googled Chrome called Iron that takes the big brother stuff out.
I haven’t installed it yet, as there is still no bbcodextra plugin for Chrome, and I’m far too lazy to actually type tags. I have also found Chrome to be a bit of a memory hog. Other than tat, it’s pretty nifty.
The only reason I would encourage you to install something else (STRONGLY) is because IE is incredibly susceptible to security issues
IE8 is pretty much on par, security wise, with the others now. Honestly, these days, just find the one that seems most intuitive for you to use and run with it. Running cleaner tools and keep a virus scanner updated is your best bet.
This is all a misunderstanding.
McCarthy left off the ” … Since 2008″ from his title, because it just didn’t have the same je ne sais duh as the final version.
Unmentioned but surely not unnoticed – & it’s just such a perverted feminazi socialist fixation on knowing the specifics of what he’s talking about on Holder’s part that makes McCarthy RAEG!
In Wingnutland, not talking out of your ass is like stomping on babies while crucifying kittens with a staple-gun, but much worse! “Going with your gut” is the only vaccine they have against the dreaded Elitism Virus (which runs rampant in places like universities & libraries, & is often incurable).
it just makes him a gigantic douchebag
As versatile a component of invective as they may be, actual douchebags are the unsung heros that do unglorious battle with sundry feminine ailments – & thus these distasteful appliances are worthy of merit, icky as they may be … I think a more apropos phrase in this case is “human hangnail.”
In a trice, one can also substitute “wingnutterhoid.”
Suzan Hebson, assistant superintendent of Highland Park, Ill., School District 113, won’t allow teen girls to travel to Arizona but she’ll send them to secret GLSEN gay sex classes and make them sign a statement promising not to tell others. The teen sex classes promoted by Hebson are part of Obama’s Safe Schools Czar’s teen sex indoctrination
During the commencement ceremony, the Czar himself installs microchips in their vaginal-rectal area. I read all about it in a pamphlet from Pueblo, Colorado.
It’ll never match FerrethandJobs.
Hey, Looch, how’s the Commerce Department job? I’m on my second binder… had to hit thirty-odd apartments this morning.
Just watched Bill Maher for this week, and S. E. Cupp is dumb as dog-shit and a million times more unpleasant.
So, pointing out the obvious fact that a law raises Constitutional questions but that he can’t remark any further than that until he’s read and been briefed on the law is the most transparently irresponsible EVAR? Because that sounds refreshingly responsible to me.
Eric Holder belongs in prison because the treasonous war criminals from the Bush/Cheney junta haven’t been prosecuted and executed yet.That’s why Holder is a shitty AG.
Dollars to doughnuts that’s the one thing Holder’s done that McCarthy is completely on board with.
Just watched her performance. She’s got the smug, nasty, talking-point-ready demeanor of her fellow morons down pat. Also loved the Palin glasses and chaste pearls. Surprised she didn’t clutch them through the whole segment.
Favourite McCarthy moment: when our boy found a case where US soldiers massacred five Afghan civilians and was shocked – shocked! – by the fact that someone, er – apologised.
By the way, is his face not really that flushed, or is the blood trying to escape?
I have a sudden vision of some poor bastard receiving the nation’s first-ever parking ticket death penalty sentence.
I remember that story.
Hmm. I wonder if those guys are running for Congress now.
Trolling through Hoft’s Rotten Mango Repository for collateral damage yields Brrrr… Scientists Issue New Warning of Imminent Food & Ethanol Shortages Due to Global Cooling[no linky on purpose], announcing a
peer-reviewed scientific studypress release from the Space and Science ResearchCenterMail-drop in Orlando,Dr.Mr. John L. Casey, prop.[no linky on purpose].It’s basically biocycles applied to solar activity, with no definitions, mechanism or statistics and a couple of tables of earthquakes and volcanoes and creative commons graphs of sunspot activity thrown in.
Schumann famously said when hearing Chopin, “Hats off, gentlemen- a genius!” and Professor Peter Schickele, applying it to P.D.Q. Bach, modified it to “Hats back on, gentlemen, an idiot!”
I hereby nominate Director Casey (sic) and Hoft for the Hammesfahr Peace Prize in Vaginal Irrigation Appliances.
S.E. Cupp is an atheist who thinks the religious have the answers?
Atheism. Not the word you’re looking for.
Smut Clyde said,
May 15, 2010 at 23:05
I have a sudden vision of some poor bastard receiving the nation’s first-ever parking ticket death penalty sentence.
I remember that story.
I never saw that before, very nice. Serves the bastard right for ordering the Rudyard Kipling.
~
As if we atheists didn’t have enough bad press without hatfucking Straussian assholes claiming to belong to the club.
That’s a relief. If she isn’t down with exterminating teh gheyz, then I might dislike her a little.
Athiest–yeah right. Clever ploy to backdoor (VAFR) some credibility from thinking people, Ms. (1)Cupp, but I’m afraid I’m gonna hafta ask you to shove it.
Call them the
Jack BauerFred Flintstone Republicans.Come on guys, accuracy matters.
By the way people, today is Zombie Appreciation Day.
Have you hugged a zombie today?
~
Funny shit about the real “most ridiculous person in the universe.”
http://videocafe.crooksandliars.com/heather/glenn-mountaintop
Has the War on Zombie Appreciation Day started yet?
She trots out the false dichotomy between evolution and Christianity in her book. My fundie troll detector is redlining.
Hey Till,
Reading all the primary source material to keep up with major developments in US politics would be at least several full-time jobs.
Journalists are supposed to, theoretically, do bits of this work themselves. Digest information, analyze it, put it in context for readers.
But that would be BORING and requires an educated audience. It’s much easier, more popular and way more fun to stalk actresses with big boobies.
AMIRITE?!
Nice.
It’s much easier, more popular and way more fun to stalk actresses with big boobies.
Multitasking. I haz it.
Thanks ifthethunderdontgetya. That’s my new screen saver.
Please, everyone, click the first link in this post. This asshole not only shot “a blink sheikh in barrel,” he very nearly shot himself in the dick. When he prosecuted Sheik Omar Abdul Rahman, he never asked the court to classify any of the evidence or testimony! And in that combination of arrant stupidity and crassness unique to wingnuts, they are now touting this fuckup by one of their own as evidence that civilian courts can’t try terrorists!
Wow. Just wow. Every single fucking time I think they can’t sink any lower, can’t possibly play us for bigger idiots, something like this always comes along.
Has the War on Zombie Appreciation Day started yet?
You’re on the LIST, smut.
O yes.
OK, in a long history of great writing and titles, I’m sure that there are some other equally fantastic titles here.
Nevertheless – Best. Title. Ever.
The whooshing sound that you are now hearing is a collective sigh of relief emanating from the graves of Ulysses S. Grant, Warren Harding, and Richard Nixon
And can’t a cracker even get an Andrew Jackson in the house?
They never called me to canvass. Some
fucking old hagnice little old ladyold bagsweet old grandma was doing the area I would have done. They were not interested in having people do nearby towns or ZIP codes. And, with the economy being what it is, they had plenty of people signed up.Just wanted to be the first to steal this nym from Arky. Pure genius dude.
Wear it in good health amigo.
Seriously, what the fuck. A man would have to do some absolutely amazing things to top Warren G. Harding in terms of irresponsibility. Now, it’s unfortunate for guys like McCarthy that the last guy they voted into office really was capable of being more irresponsible than Warren G. Harding, but even that was maybe… what, six or seven times out of his whole eight years in office? The rest of the time he was more the level of irresponsibility of say, a Coolidge, or one of the Clevelands.
And of course, William Henry Harrison is the benchmark for Presidential irresponsibility, since he didn’t even have the good sense that any mother should instill in their kid… that is to say, wear a jacket, it’s fucking cold out.
Has the War on Zombie Appreciation Day started yet?
I for one welcome our new undead overlords.
(hoping to be eaten last)
I suppose that makes McCarthy the most transparently irresponsible blogger in the history of blogging. Or, I suppose, it just makes him a gigantic douchebag.
He’s trying to win multiple medals, don’t straitjacket him!
By the way, is his face not really that flushed, or is the blood trying to escape?
My money’s on gin blossoms.
Shameless blogwhore alert: new post at my joint, which includes a chronicle of some of the funniest comments I’ve seen online in the past several weeks – most of them from you folks here…just because they needed to be more widely seen and appreciated.
I guess Mr. McCarthy has never much thought about the slogan, “a mind is a terrible thing to waste.”
Probably thought it only applied to those Negroes, y’know.
I guess Mr. McCarthy has never much thought about the slogan, “a mind is a terrible thing to waste.”
The slogan was too long for him to read, so he believes it’s “A mind is a terrible thing.”
No, he thought it was “a mind is human waste” and has done his utmost to live up to that misinterpretation, i.e. he is a shit-for-brains.
As a high hip-to-waist ratio indicates you are in fact a Fat Bastard, so to a high mind-to-waste ratio indicates that you are Andy McCarthy.
Perhaps we should work out a Bone-Mind Index for general wingnuttery. Or a Boner-Mind Index for men reading Megan Fox/Decepticon slashfic (o yes me pretties, it exists)
This is a heads up on a story that is likely to be picked up by our psychotic friends in wingnuttia.
US Orders Blackout Over North Korean Torpedoing Of Gulf Of Mexico Oil Rig
There is no peak wingnut. There are always further heights to be explored.
I for one welcome our new undead overlords.
(hoping to be eaten last)
A pro tip: Chthulu will win the cage match with the zombie hordes. You’re backing the wrong
horseevil.This is a heads up on a story that is likely to be picked up by our psychotic friends in wingnuttia.
Jiminy Jillikers, they truly are deranged… how soon before they start claiming that the Kenyan Usurper had full knowledge of the plot?
A pro tip: Chthulu will win the cage match with the zombie hordes. You’re backing the wrong
horseevil.That is not dead which can eternal lie, indeed! I’ll be hiding in the Vaults of Zin when the shit hits the fan.
I’ll be hiding in the Vaults of Zin when the shit hits the fan.
Remember to fire off-screen to reload.
Remember to fire off-screen to reload.
Whoa, you gotta reload the CHAINSAW?
Whoa, you gotta reload the CHAINSAW?
Fuck, you gotta reload the lead pipe.
Fuck, you gotta reload the lead pipe.
NOOOO!!! I don’t know if I want to go on in a world in which one has to reload the lead pipe!
I don’t know if I want to go on in a world in which one has to reload the lead pipe!
We’re in Rule 34 territory, aren’t we?
We’re in Rule 34 territory, aren’t we?
I think it’s more “drug reference territory” than “Rule 34 territory”.
I don’t want to where your weed comes from if you need a lead pipe.
I don’t want to where your weed comes from if you need a lead pipe.
My weed comes from all over the place.
Douchebag. Definitely a douchebag.
I think it needs to be pointed out:
This Is The Most Ridiculous Universe In The History Of Hyperbole.
That is all.
I don’t know if I want to go on in a world in which one has to reload the lead pipe!
Not-so-VPR.
noen, that is some good shit. Those guys underpants gnome plan has like 20 steps, half of which are “???”
We’re in Rule 34 territory, aren’t we?
I think it’s more “drug reference territory” than “Rule 34 territory”.