Is this thing on?

Is this thing on?

No, it’s not. Try TALKING LOUDER.

For those of you eyeing the mangoes:

As Michelle Malkin observes…

You have been warned.

okay, not going for the mangoes, but is Johnson (HURR HURR HE SAID “JOHNSON”) actually arguing, as his title implies, that Obama has “grabbed enough power”?

For those of you eyeing the mangoes

The Malkin is indeed a vicious species of candiru.

502 Bad Gateway for Woodsy.

At some point you have grabbed enough power

Jesus God. Unitary executive, what’s that? And as if Obama’s mandating salary caps instead of just having a personal opinion with which no one but a fucking moron would disagree. Holy fuck.

Isn’t it strange that what we’ve been seeing from the right wing since Inauguration Day is simply a repetition of the accusations which the left and Real Center (not the Brooksian-Friedmanite chimera) levied toward the Cheney-Bush regime? I mean, I knew that a lack of imagination and originality was a hallmark of the whingenut mentality, but why are they allowed to get away with it?

Got out of the boat, saw the Obama painted as Joker picture, and hopped right the fuck back in.

Alluding to other elements of Obama’s Quincy speech earlier this week, Michelle observes that we have a president who presumes to know when you have earned “enough,”

I presume that too. So does my boss.

The Malkin is indeed a vicious species of candiru.

And on closer inspection the mangoes are durians.

A minimum wage job works out to about $21,480 per year. The average CEO compensation for fortune 500 companies is $9,246,697 per year. I think Obama is correct, at some point you have made enough money.

Tangentially related: how do you tell some of your friends that they are insane for thinking that the teabaggers aren’t racist? You know, nicely.

Tangentially related: how do you tell some of your friends that they are insane for thinking that the teabaggers aren’t racist? You know, nicely.
I usually use my softball bat to help drive the point home. But I use it nicely.

Median pay at top 200 companies fell to a paltry 6.95 million in 2009.

Tangentially related: how do you tell some of your friends that they are insane for thinking that the teabaggers aren’t racist?

OOH! OOH! Teacher, I know this one!

You know, nicely.

D’oh.

Median pay at top 200 companies fell to a paltry 6.95 million in 2009.

I also wouldn’t put it past these guys to think they may be manipulating these numbers somewhat to take some of the heat off themselves. Manipulating numbers is how a lot of them get rich in the first place.

Between the “Democrats are painting all criticisms of Obama as racist” strawperson of color, and the “well, everybody’s upset about spending” shit, I am now very, very cranky.

Everyone knows the most efficient way to grab power is to do t
so through a government-backed healthcare program. What, exactly, kind of power do they think it gives The Kenyan?

There’s a Soros mention! Score!

Isn’t it strange that what we’ve been seeing from the right wing since Inauguration Day is simply a repetition of the accusations which the left and Real Center (not the Brooksian-Friedmanite chimera) levied toward the Cheney-Bush regime?

‘Cept in our case we were largely proved right.

Brooksian-Friedmanite chimera

An animal with the spine of an earthworm, the courage of a chicken, the brain of a sheep, and the shit-flinging ability of a chimpanzee.

Oh, great! The old “Obama was nominated because he’s black” canard!

If you need me, I’ll be looking for a softball bat and purging my contacts list. Later!

The Founders of the United States were deep students of politics and history, and they shared Aristotle’s concern. Up through their time, history had shown all known democracies to be “incompatible with personal security or the rights of property.” James Madison and others held that the “first object of government” was to protect the rights of property.

Gee whiz, I wonder if that applied to Madison’s slaves? Perhaps Aristotle was more clear on this point.

Federal employees now are paid much more money than their counterparts in private industry.

Excuse me while I change my pants — I pissed in them from laughing so hard. Aren’t these douches lawyers? Compare the salary of an attorney at the DOJ with someone in private practice. It’s not even close. People I’ve known that left private practice and were hired by the government took pay cuts of 40 to 60%.

So, wait a minute. IIRC, there’s a right wing talking point that says in order to preserve traditional family values, have Mom stay at home instead of work, and avoid getting all overly material about popular culture and nasty things like that, one has to live modestly within ones means in the Heartland instead of in those Godforsaken libertine coastal cities with high real estate prices; without having two fancy (probably hybrid) cars, granite countertops or cell phones (specially if you’re homeless), so that one can do the responsible things like buy private health insurance (instead of mooching off the government) and be able to take the family to church each Sunday.

But now it’s time to defend the right to excess wealth amassed by elites? Because Obama opined that sometimes enough is enough?

I swear to god, he ought to just come out and embrace every core idea that is dear to them. Then they’d contort themselves into oblivion denouncing them.

Tangentially related: how do you tell some of your friends that they are insane for thinking that the teabaggers aren’t racist? You know, nicely.

How about a Google image search for “racist tea party sign” and then email the first 50 or so examples?

What delightful histrionics! It warms the cockles* of my heart to see their pearl clutching, hateful, one dimensional selves flopping about like fish on the pier. Please sir, more?

*what can I say?

there’s a right wing talking point that says in order to preserve traditional family values, have Mom stay at home instead of work, and avoid getting all overly material about popular culture and nasty things like that

I KNOW! They absolutely advocate an economic system that makes that virtually impossible! It’s fucking insane!

How about a Google image search for “racist tea party sign” and then email the first 50 or so examples?

Oh, you see, that’s just “crazy people” who have attached themselves to the movement. I explained, you know, latent racism and the Southern Strategy? Fucking crickets. Oh, and a couple of reiterations why Hillary was better and they only reason they could see why people would vote for Obama in the primary was because he’s black.

Annnd, completely off-topic (“NO!” you say, but I soldier on).

The CA TeaBaggers have announced they are going to boycott San Francisco because the San Francisco city gummint is boycotting Arizona.

I haz a sad. The Folsom Street Fair will not be held this year as a result.

Darn ‘Baggers.

/sarcasm

(But really, how much economic impact could the ‘Baggers have in SF? It’s not like they want to be there with all those icky gays and weird non-white people and the non-McDonalds food options.)

Funny how many of these people are supposedly Christians; what was that old bit about putting a camel through the eye of a needle? Oh, wait, the nice televangelist with the excellent hair said it was OK to grab as much as you can. Carry on, then.

The CA TeaBaggers have announced they are going to boycott San Francisco because the San Francisco city gummint is boycotting Arizona.

You know, an eye for a teabagger eye leaves the whole world rolling on the floor laughing.

what was that old bit about putting a camel through the eye of a needle?

First, you freeze-dry the camel.

Time for new friends maybe?

My mom was Hillary supporter almost into PUMA territory…and now I have to talk her off a ledge everytime she sees one of those racist signs.

I know I’ve said this before, but does Powerline not have one of the ugliest fucking layouts on the interwebs?

Looch, all that means is that the glory holes that are closer to their homes will be a bit more crowded. On both sides.

and they only reason they could see why people would vote for Obama in the primary was because he’s black

Ah.

Perhaps they cannot see the racism in the tea party because they’re . . . you know . . . soaking in it.

Oh, you see, that’s just “crazy people” who have attached themselves to the movement. I explained, you know, latent racism and the Southern Strategy? Fucking crickets. Oh, and a couple of reiterations why Hillary was better and they only reason they could see why people would vote for Obama in the primary was because he’s black.

Oh dear. In that case, I second the recommendation for the bat. In fact, now I’m wondering if an aluminum bat would make that funny “ping” noise on their skulls.

Time for new friends maybe?

*sigh* Yeah. I actually had to stop speaking to some people during the primary, and I was undecided up until getting in the voting booth.

Perhaps they cannot see the racism in the tea party because they’re . . . you know . . . soaking in it.

Um, yeah. I think I’m done with benefit-of-the-doubt giving, here.

he ought to just come out and embrace every core idea that is dear to them.

I believe he did just that by implementing the health care bill. Y’know, the one that mirrors the plan in Massachusetts? The one passed through a Republican governor? The one that looks very much like the Dole plan offered as an alternative (imagine!) to the Clinton plan?

They nearly broke their ankles changing direction on that.

Since when is the ability to create and buy financial products designed to benefit from the collapse of home values a “property right.” What kind of law do these guys practice?

I know I’ve said this before, but does Powerline not have one of the ugliest fucking layouts on the interwebs?

Yes.

SASQ etc. etc. etc.

TruculentandUnreliable said,
April 30, 2010 at 20:02

I know I’ve said this before, but does Powerline not have one of the ugliest fucking layouts on the interwebs?”

I’ve noticed that most conservative sites are pretty ugly. Prolly think good design is faggy or something.

Shit — blockquote tag fail. That shoulda been:

I know I’ve said this before, but does Powerline not have one of the ugliest fucking layouts on the interwebs?
–T&U

Yes.

SASQ etc. etc. etc.

Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue …

I haz a sad. The Folsom Street Fair will not be held this year as a result.

Well the FSF does attract the tourists. Which is why those in the know go to Dore Alley.

The thing that really bugs is that I consider them fairly intelligent, liberal people. God, I HATE being smarter than almost everyone else! 🙂

Prolly think good design is faggy or something.

I do believe that most graphic designers are liberals. The 2008 election demonstrates this very, very clearly.

I went for mangoes. I came back with turds:

They were of the view that it would lead to organized theft from the wealthy by the democratic masses.

And your point, you fucking elitist-wannabe snob prick? It’s called “majority rules” and elections have consequences, beeyatch.

Did someone call for me?

Got out of the boat, saw the Obama painted as Joker picture, and hopped right the fuck back in.

Me too! GMTA.

Did someone call for me?

These are all ladies. Can you assist with that?

These are all ladies. Can you assist with that?

Allow me

Wow. The stoopid. It burns!

The CA TeaBaggers have announced they are going to boycott San Francisco because the San Francisco city gummint is boycotting Arizona.

I’ll be heartbroken if they manage to put Bechtel out of business.

Awww, it’s cute when David Brooks tries to talk about renewable energy and climate change.

Like a dog dressed in a sweater! Or a chimp smoking! He thinks he’s people!

The CA TeaBaggers have announced they are going to boycott San Francisco

Two fewer people on the BART! WooHoo!

Awww, it’s cute when David Brooks tries to talk about renewable energy and climate change.

Like a dog dressed in a sweater! Or a chimp smoking! He thinks he’s people!

Awesomeness.

I watched the video of Obama saying it, and it seems like he’s kinda joking around. Amiwrong?

Since when is the ability to create and buy financial products designed to benefit from the collapse of home values a “property right.”

Exsqueeze me? Baking powder? THAT’S what Johnson (hurrhurr) has a mad about? That someone might not make as obscene an amount of money as they did last year? And that’s worth whjining about revolution over?

Gawd. WHAT. A. TOOL.

The CA TeaBaggers have announced they are going to boycott San Francisco

And this is supposed to be a sacrifice, for them?

It makes me wonder how many of them are closeted teabaggers in the *original* sense of the term.

God, I HATE being smarter than almost everyone else! 🙂

From Idiocracy:

Rita: You think Einstein walked around thinkin’ everyone was a bunch of dumb shits?
Pvt. Joe Bowers: Yeah. Hadn’t thought of that.
Rita: Now you know why he built that bomb.

Allow me

I appreciate it, but I think I’m going to stick with the bat. It’s dual-purpose, right? I mean, I can use it on their skulls?

Federal employees now are paid much more money than their counterparts in private industry.

In the industries in which this is true, this fact only speaks to the severely depressed and stagnant wages in the private sector over the last 30 years, rather than the “OMGWHARGRRRBLEBBQ Gubmit be Steele-in our moneyz!!!!” that they so desperately wish to be true.

But we already knew that, being not-orthogonal-to-reality and such.

From the horizontal banner on Powerlinez:

“Proclaim Liberty throughout
All the land unto All the
Inhabitants Thereof.” – Inscription on the Liberty Bell

Unless of course you are brown, liberal or _____.

Isn’t it strange that what we’ve been seeing from the right wing since Inauguration Day is simply a repetition of the accusations which the left and Real Center (not the Brooksian-Friedmanite chimera) levied toward the Cheney-Bush regime?

See both the left and the right are equally angry and the truth lies somewhere in between. For every story/issue there are exactly two sides. The story of Roshomon? Two sides. The issue of whether the Earth is flat? Two sides. And the truth is always somewhere in between.

Unless of course you are brown, liberal or _____.

Bespectacled? Asthmatic? Pastafarian?

OT, but apparently K-Lo is okay with nuns speaking out on health care reform as long as they agree with the Council of Bishops that filthy, lusty whores should be punished for enjoying sex.

David Brooksed

From the horizontal banner on Powerlinez:

“Proclaim Liberty throughout
All the land unto All the
Inhabitants Thereof.” – Inscription on the Liberty Bell

I wonder if the Powertools know the context of this verse in Leviticus. Something tells me that if Obama were to get all Levitical and “proclaim liberty throughout the land” in the Levitical sense, the Powertools would be the first to get quite angry about that Islamofascist Obama not respecting our nation’s Judeo-Christian heritage or something like that.

See both the left and the right are equally angry and the truth lies somewhere in between. For every story/issue there are exactly two sides. The story of Roshomon? Two sides. The issue of whether the Earth is flat? Two sides. And the truth is always somewhere in between”

Some say the Holocaust never happened. Discuss.

Unless of course you are brown, liberal or _____.

Bespectacled? Asthmatic? Pastafarian?

Correct!

We would have also accepted: Pre-existing Conditioned (Yes.), Not Rich, Have No Clout, Have Lady Parts, and Many Others.

OT, but apparently K-Lo is okay with nuns speaking out on health care reform as long as they agree with the Council of Bishops that filthy, lusty whores should be punished for enjoying sex. – Martian Buddy

I need brain bleach: the mentioning of “nuns”, “K-Lo” and “punished for enjoying sex” suddenly brought forth an image in my mind of K-Lo, dressed up as a nun, being spanked by Ross Douthat (dressed in leather) as he says to her “you filthy, lusty whore — this is your punishment for enjoying sex” all while Jonah is watching and getting more and more jealous by the minute.

A minimum wage job works out to about $21,480 per year. The average CEO compensation for fortune 500 companies is $9,246,697 per year.

That must be why they call them Fortune 500 companies. The CEO makes 500 times what the workers do.

And I am not gettin’ my feet wet on this one. I’ve got mangoes in the kitchen, thanks.

I’m tempted for this, though.

Substance McGravitas said,

April 30, 2010 at 19:36

The Founders of the United States were deep students of politics and history, and they shared Aristotle’s concern. Up through their time, history had shown all known democracies to be “incompatible with personal security or the rights of property.” James Madison and others held that the “first object of government” was to protect the rights of property.

Why does powerline hate democracy? Are they saying that it’s inherently communist? Wtf? That’s their excuse for touting the return of serfdom? “The founders may have said one thing but they meant what I’m telling you they meant.”? Fffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu…

Also, too, I don’t see “property” in there next to “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.”

I appreciate it, but I think I’m going to stick with the bat. It’s dual-purpose, right? I mean, I can use it on their skulls?

I prefer softer targets, of course.

Unless of course you are brown, liberal or _____.

Bespectacled? Asthmatic? Pastafarian?

I know! Zombie!

We would have also accepted: Pre-existing Conditioned (Yes.), Not Rich, Have No Clout, Have Lady Parts, and Many Others.

Shit. I fall into: Bespectacled, Asthmatic, Pre-existing Conditioned (Yes.) (do you count asthma twice?), Not Rich, Have No Clout, and Have Lady Parts.

Does one strike preclude you against having liberty, or is it cumulative?

The CA TeaBaggers have announced they are going to boycott San Francisco because the San Francisco city gummint is boycotting Arizona.

There goes the Rice-A-Roni profits for the next quarter.

I need brain bleach

UUUUUUUUUUUUUGH, I think I’m going to need more than brain bleach, dear. Perhaps some brain battery acid?

There goes the Rice-A-Roni profits for the next quarter.

Oh, shit, that’s funny.

Some say the Holocaust never happened. Discuss.

Clearly, that must mean that only three million Jews were killed. Unless, of course, someone disagrees with that, at which point we’d have to admit it was 1.5 million.

Does one strike preclude you against having liberty, or is it cumulative?

Sorry, T&U, half a preclude is enough. You are SOL. Now, go back to not making millions based of fraud and fictitious numbers and let them do as they please.

*Being whispered to*

Oh, right, in the name of liberty.

The issue of whether the Earth is flat? Two sides.

Which only goes to prove the Earth really is flat.

The Founders of the United States were deep students of politics and history, and they shared Aristotle’s concern. Up through their time, history had shown all known democracies to be “incompatible with personal security or the rights of property.” James Madison and others held that the “first object of government” was to protect the rights of property.

Yep, if there’s anything the founders believed in it was unhindered wealth-based aristocracy. Jefferson in particular defended the rights of the dead to their property and the importance of primogeniture over partible inheritance.

Now, go back to not making millions based of fraud and fictitious numbers

Hmph. How come I never get to rip people off and destroy the American Dream as we know it? NOT FAIR!

[Back shortly with Powerline-does-Aristotle]

SHORTER GAVIN:

Euripides pants, Eumenides pants.

Does one strike preclude you against having liberty, or is it cumulative?

There is a three strike rule. It involves my etchings.

The issue of whether the Earth is flat? Two sides. And the truth is always somewhere in between.

So it’s flat, but not two-dimensionally flat? Like idli? Great, now I’m hungry.

Hmph. How come I never get to rip people off and destroy the American Dream as we know it? NOT FAIR!

Well, you should have thought of that before being born a middle-class and female. You have no one to blame but yourself. And chance.

Powerline: Oh no!
Rich folks governed by laws too!
Spring floods bring corpses

…the U.S. is going to have to develop energy sources that are plentiful, clean and don’t enrich the worst people on earth.

What does David Brooks have against Canada?

What does David Brooks have against Canada?

Nothing but everything.

There is a three strike rule. It involves my etchings.

So, my six strikes preclude me from seeing your etchings? Oh well, your loss. I happen to be a great appreciator of art.

So it’s flat, but not two-dimensionally flat? Like idli

More like enjera, with the bubbles in the batter.

I happen to be a great appreciator of art.

I’d heard that about you.

Also, an appreciater of phil, simon, and porfirio.

To clarify the above comment about Leviticus, it’s Lev. 19.33-25

“When an alien resides with you in your land, you shall not oppress the alien. The alien who resides with you shall be to you as the citizen among you; you shall love the alien as yourself, for you were aliens in the land of Egypt: I am the Lord your God.”

Blockquote fail.

and DAS, thanks for the imagery. Now I have to go find my icepick again and my eyelids were just healing up from the last time I swizzled my forebrain.

Also, an appreciater of phil, simon, and porfirio.

Now, that’s just a dirty rumor!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh………..

Now, that’s just a dirty rumor!

It would be irresponsible not to speculate.

To clarify the above comment about Leviticus, it’s Lev. 19.33-25

Thanks. For a minute, I thought you were talking about that Leviticus bit about doing it in the butt.

That, btw, is probably what the aloeged Jesus referred to when he allegedly said:

“‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the greatest and first commandment. And a second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.”

So yeah, the Xianists pretty much elide half of the two commandents.

Leviticus bit about doing it in the butt.

That was Levis-tuches.

Leviticus bit about doing it in the butt.”

I had no idea the bible was so hot.

Oh, snap.

“The scrutiny on cementing will focus attention on Halliburton Co., the oilfield-services firm that was handling the cementing process on the rig, which burned and sank last week. The disaster, which killed 11, has left a gusher of oil streaming into the Gulf from a mile under the surface.”

OT, but up with current events. Seeing as I live in Florida with the Grapefruit League spring training, a baseball fan friend of mine was just speculating wether we’d see most if not all the Cactus League teams move here from Arizona. There being a fair number of latino ballplayers and all. We certainly wouldn’t have any objection to the extra tourist dollars the bring.

I had no idea the bible was so hot.

Good lord, woman, haven’t you read Song of Solomon? That’s some biblical erotica!

The scrutiny on cementing will focus attention on Halliburton Co

Gee, why does that name seem so familiar????

Good lord, woman, haven’t you read Song of Solomon? That’s some biblical erotica!

Sample passage:

his fruit was sweet to my taste

Hey, Peej–you can get the t-shirt.

I had no idea the bible was so hot.

The whole first half is pretty much nothing but sex and violence. Though, to be fair, it is mostly violence.

TruculentandUnreliable said,
April 30, 2010 at 21:17

I had no idea the bible was so hot.

Good lord, woman, haven’t you read Song of Solomon? That’s some biblical erotica!”

as a lifelong atheist my knowledge of the bible could fit on the camel who went thru the needle… Or whatever the hell that part sAys..

Gee, why does that name seem so familiar????

I don’t know…something about that guy? Who shot the other guy in the face? And one of those wars against brown people? And shower electrocutions? I dunno, maybe it will come to me later…

The whole first half is pretty much nothing but sex and violence.

And counting. No wonder so many Jews become accountants.

It’s got donkey dick and horse spooge. Also. And such as.

“Yet she became more and more promiscuous as she recalled the days of her youth, when she was a prostitute in Egypt. There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses. So you longed for the lewdness of your youth, when in Egypt your bosom was caressed and your young breasts fondled.”

I dunno, maybe it will come to me later…

I’m not sure, but I think I have a suitcase by them.

as a lifelong atheist my knowledge of the bible could fit on the camel who went thru the needle…

It’s actually quite lovely.

Odd that they omit all reference to jars in that passage.

““Yet she became more and more promiscuous as she recalled the days of her youth, when she was a prostitute in Egypt. There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses. So you longed for the lewdness of your youth, when in Egypt your bosom was caressed and your young breasts fondled.”

WTF?

Odd that they omit all reference to jars in that passage.

Onan, remember?

Is this anything like Micheal Steele?

I need brain bleach: the mentioning of “nuns”, “K-Lo” and “punished for enjoying sex” suddenly brought forth an image in my mind of K-Lo, dressed up as a nun, being spanked by Ross Douthat (dressed in leather) as he says to her “you filthy, lusty whore — this is your punishment for enjoying sex” all while Jonah is watching and getting more and more jealous by the minute.

If one were to gouge out his inner eye with some sort of rusty implement, would it be better accessed through the nose or ear?

Is this anything like Micheal Steele?

What Ms Schwartz fails to recognize is that legal immigration has all but stopped from evety country, which means her grandparents would be banned from this country which means she should go back to Mexicanstan like the little brown person she is.

WTF?

*That* is not from Song of Solomon. That’s from Ecclesiastes or some shit…

If one were to gouge out his inner eye with some sort of rusty implement, would it be better accessed through the nose or ear?

If you’re trying to make the Third Eye Blind, you need to stab your forehead.

Non-Existent Patricia said,
April 30, 2010 at 21:32 (kill)

[…]

If one were to gouge out his inner eye with some sort of rusty implement, would it be better accessed through the nose or ear?

If there is some sort of “Boy Named Sue” story to be told I want to hear it.

WRT: baseball bat persuasion- it is tempting to strike the skull of the ignorant simpleton to impart the desired knowledge, but this often proves fatal, thus negating said educational attempts. Jointed areas are much more effective as targets to attain the desired results. As an aside, the aluminum bats do “ping” rather nicely when employed on harder targets- long bones, in particular. The “thwack” noise of the wooden bat is also melodious and entertaining. Also, use of excessive force is counter-productive for instructive purposes, a simple “flick-of-the-wrist” is sufficient in most situations. Hope this helps, sharing my experience with my peers is so, how do I say it, uh, uplifting (yes, that’s the feeling!). I am retired from my former profession as a violent criminal, so no “on hands” training is offered, at this time.

Lunch time!
Schnitzelwich?
SomTum Gai Yang?
Bulkogi tacos?
Or maybe just a plain grass fed burger (Oregon Blue Burger – Rogue Creamery Oregonzola, bacon, caramelized onion on a hazelnut bun)

You learn something new every day; thanks to DAS, I’ve determined that it is indeed possible to vomit hard enough that both ends of the digestive tract empty simultaneously.

That’s from Ecclesiastes or some shit…

Ezekiel 23:20

But you know, we Christians try to keep that shit to ourselves.

Lunch time!

I hate you. My options were some spoonfuls of sunflower butter straight from the jar or a nasty-ass cafeteria salad.

I am retired from my former profession as a violent criminal, so no “on hands” training is offered, at this time.

In the course of your work, did you find a lighter bat with a faster bat speed or a heavier bat with more momentum imparted more effective?

I was always partial to heavier bats, myself, but I hit for distance.

So yeah, the Xianists pretty much elide half of the two commandents.

Not the self-hating ones.

Ezekiel 23:20

Ah, yes. I knew it was an E!

Lunch time!

I’d choose the one you managed to link. Must be more motivated for it.

SomTum Gai Yang?

Ah, the Chinese homosexual cafeteria: Sum Yung Gai.

Sum Yung Gai.

Isn’t that from Wayne’s World?

If one were to gouge out his inner eye with some sort of rusty implement, would it be better accessed through the nose or ear?

If there is some sort of “Boy Named Sue” story to be told I want to hear it.

I was asking for a friend.

WOW

Isn’t that from Wayne’s World?

I’m older than Mike Myers, so I claim he ripped me off. That’s my story and I’m sticking with it.

And yes, I made that up long before that jackass on SNL. It’s a good thing.

And Martha Stewart owes me royalties on that. Also.

OMFG WTF?

“I actually support microchipping them. I can microchip my dog so I can find it. Why can’t I microchip an illegal?”

Isn’t that from Wayne’s World?

I’ll have the cream of Sum Yung Gai.

PeeJ said,

April 30, 2010 at 21:36

Lunch time!
Schnitzelwich?
SomTum Gai Yang?
Bulkogi tacos?
Or maybe just a plain grass fed burger (Oregon Blue Burger – Rogue Creamery Oregonzola, bacon, caramelized onion on a hazelnut bun)

I like your list but it’s missing beer. I think I’ll have a burger and a pint of Terminal Gravity IPA, or maybe Ninkasi Oatis Stout. It is Friday after all.

(Oregon Blue Burger – Rogue Creamery Oregonzola, bacon, caramelized onion on a hazelnut bun)

Mmmmm. That’s… inspirational.

“I actually support microchipping them. I can microchip my dog so I can find it. Why can’t I microchip an illegal?”

LOL that has to be parody. Please. Tell. Me. It’s. Parody.

Ezekiel 23:20

Oh, I call shenanigans.

Everybody knows the Bible got no boobies in it!

I’m older than Mike Myers, so I claim he ripped me off. That’s my story and I’m sticking with it.

And Martha Stewart owes me royalties on that. Also.

Okay, okay! Fine with me. I kind of hate Mike Meyers anyway.

Wait. Martha Stewart?

Terminal Gravity IPA

Two, please.

pint of Terminal Gravity

I assume they call it that because after a few, you reach it just before the floor?

I’ll have you know those microchips are non-carcinogenic.

Nope. Ezekiel 23:19-21 I was following up the “bible is hot” comment, not the SoS comment. I apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused.

LOL that has to be parody. Please. Tell. Me. It’s. Parody.

I don’t think it is! *sob*

Wait. Martha Stewart?

She’s older than me, but she grew up in New Jersey, so she’s retarded.

Ted Poe:
“Now it seems to me that if we are so advanced with technology and manpower and competence that we can capture illegal grasshoppers from Brazil, in the holds of ships that are in a little small place in Port Arthur, Texas …If we’re able to do that as a country, how come we can’t capture the thousands of people that cross the border everyday on the southern border of the United States? You know they’re a little bigger than grasshoppers and they should be able to be captured easier.

Posted without comment.

I think I’ll have a burger and a pint of Terminal Gravity IPA, or maybe Ninkasi Oatis Stout

As if my lack of food options isn’t bad enough, now you’re reminding me that I can’t drink deleecious microbrewed beer! Stopiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.

If the GOP isn’t kaput after this I’m going to… I don’t know…start smacking people.

Wait. Martha Stewart?

She’s older than me, but she grew up in New Jersey, so she’s retarded.

I have no idea what the fuck you’re talking about, but it made me laugh.

Oh fuck me. (I might mean that literally, you know, depending…) Link fail. Temporal relevance fail. Better start drinking, I guess so at least I have an excuse.

“I actually support microchipping them. I can microchip my dog so I can find it. Why can’t I microchip an illegal?”

So we shouldn’t give them health care ’cause it costs too much, but spending money on the medical procedure necessary to implant a chip is perfectly okay.

Nope, not racism at all!

“I actually support microchipping them. I can microchip my dog so I can find it. Why can’t I microchip an illegal?”

I can brand cattle. Why can’t I brand an illegal?

you know, just suggesting, but it’d help to at least, if you’re going to call on liberal rage, post a little slice of mango for those of us behind the iron curtain of Not-Mango-Access.

I actually support microchipping them. I can microchip my dog so I can find it. Why can’t I microchip an illegal?

So this guy hates his dog, too?

Link fail. Temporal relevance fail.

It’s cool. I think I triple-posted two or three times yesterday.

Then again, I am a spaz, so I don’t know if that should actually make you feel better.

Microchipping illegals will lead to microchipping gays which will destroy opposite microchipping

For Pere, I think?

Unfortunately, Republicans missed their chance to take a big bite out of the problem [immigration]. Despite their tough rhetoric on the issue, every single Republican in the House and all but three in the Senate voted against $680,000,000 in funding for securing America’s border.

That’s right. By voting against the Recovery Act, Republicans not only opposed a bill that created over 2 million jobs and turned the economy around, but they voted against securing America’s border.

if you’re going to call on liberal rage, post a little slice of mango for those of us behind the iron curtain of Not-Mango-Access.

It’s from Media Matters. It’s sanitized for your protection.

Why can’t I microchip an illegal?

You own your dog, in the eyes of the law, cracker. The CONSTUSHUN says you can’t own people.

Or does that not count because it’s an amendment that isn’t the Second?

Despite their tough rhetoric on the issue, every single Republican in the House and all but three in the Senate voted against $680,000,000 in funding for securing America’s border.

That right there needs to be force-fed to every knuckledragging “AH DINT SPORT BUSH CAUSE HE DINT DEPORT THE MESSICANS” GOP mouthbreather.

Oh, but I’m SURE Obama’s really the one who’s at fault somehow!

The CONSTUSHUN says you can’t own people.

But didn’t we establish in the last administration that the Constitution doesn’t apply to foriegners?

You own your dog, in the eyes of the law, cracker. The CONSTUSHUN says you can’t own people.

“Waaaaaal the konstytuition needs to get changed then!”

But didn’t we establish in the last administration that the Constitution doesn’t apply to foriegners?

I think so, but all the rules have changed, for no particular reason.

But didn’t we establish in the last administration that the Constitution doesn’t apply to foriegners?

And the current one doesn’t really like citizens either, really. It’s all just racism. And I don’t play cards. Court order. *glares at actor*

And I don’t play cards. Court order. *glares at actor*

You told me to stick the other deck in your European shoulder bag. I opened it just to make sure it had 52 cards. It looks like it was missing a few aces.

She’s older than me, but she grew up in New Jersey, so she’s retarded.‘
So I lived in the Garden State for two or three years when I was a small child. How much damage would that have done? And would I even notice it compared to the damage done by my father owning not one but two AMC Pacers during my formative years?

You told me to stick the other deck in your European shoulder bag. I opened it just to make sure it had 52 cards. It looks like it was missing a few aces.

Yes.

How much damage would that have done? And would I even notice it compared to the damage done by my father owning not one but two AMC Pacers during my formative years?

I chalk the Pacers up to cause and effect.

Two or three years as a small child? OK, probably not much damage. After all, Jon Stewart lived in Jersey for about a year as an adult and it seems to have done little damage to him.

I lived in Hoboken for three months (failed romance) and it’s hardly been noticeable fuller’s earth!

Yes.

How they ended up in your sleeve is a mystery to me, since I meant to put them down as coasters.

Microchipping illegals will lead to microchipping gays which will destroy opposite microchipping

That’s why Rick Santorum warned us about man on dog action.

I think so, but all the rules have changed, for no particular reason.

T’aint* not racism in this case not neither!

*not ORLY

Okay, so wait…microchippy guy actually has a poster with a big ol’ grasshopper on it in the background. Which means that someone was involved in making it! Did they have to pick it up from Kinko’s? Did nobody stop to think, “Hey, aside from the nonsensical nature of this argument, maybe we shouldn’t compare human beings to insects”???

That’s why Rick Santorum warned us about man on dog action.

In Russia…and Pennsylvania…dog microchip you.

How they ended up in your sleeve is a mystery to me,

I took Magic in college. I was magically never in class! *rimshot*

father owning not one but two AMC Pacers during my formative years?
ZOMG That was YOUR DAD?!

“Up through their time, history had shown all known democracies to be “incompatible with personal security or the rights of property.”

Most of the morons who like to quote this as a reason to stand as guards for the rich man’s property have very little if any property of their own, are usually overtaxed for what they do have and are getting paid far too little for their work.

But hey, far be it for them to criticize The Man when it comes to who has the power, because The Man, who has the power, told you not to.

And that’s all you need to know, now get back on that goddamned assembly line, shut the fuck up and I don’t give a shit if your back hurts, your kid is crying cause mama ain’t around and your husband is a lazy, drunken teabagger.

As a matter of fact, we happen to like your husband you stupid bitch, now get your ass to work, Budweiser is calling him from the cooler aisle.

microchippy guy actually has a poster with a big ol’ grasshopper on it in the background

Two different people. Iowa Republican Congressional hopeful Dr. Pat Bertroche thinks it’s medically prudent to ‘chip ’em. Rep Tom Poe [TEXAS] thinks catching grasshoppers is easy, so, because they are bigger, illegals will be easier.

Logic is out to lunch.

Two different people. Iowa Republican Congressional hopeful Dr. Pat Bertroche thinks it’s medically prudent to ‘chip ‘em. Rep Tom Poe [TEXAS] thinks catching grasshoppers is easy, so, because they are bigger, illegals will be easier.

Oh, I missed that. Apparently, my brain can’t handle the idea of two people who are supposed to be “leaders” being that fucking retarded (not satire).

“Up through their time, history had shown all known democracies to be “incompatible with personal security or the rights of property.”

I phrase it slightly differently: capitalism is incompatible with either Christianity or democracy, so which is more important: freedom, God, or personal property?

You can drop “God” if you feel so inclined, of course.

T&U, I wasn’t talking about your logic.

T&U, I wasn’t talking about your logic.

I know…but now that you said that, I’m suspicious that you were and you’re just covering your tracks…

Racist or not?

I know…but now that you said that, I’m suspicious that you were and you’re just covering your tracks…

I wasn’t. I don’t think. Now I’m confused.

you’re just covering your tracks…

Illegal aliens are pretty good at that.

I wasn’t. I don’t think. Now I’m confused.

Oh, it’s quite clear. I’m paranoid….or am I?

Illegal aliens are pretty good at that.

I’ve got my birth certificate right her….. LOOK AN ELEPHANT!

..Rep Tom Poe [TEXAS] thinks catching grasshoppers is easy, so, because they are bigger, illegals will be easier. ..”

Good Jesus on a hammer, what the hell? I keep getting flashbacks of the reading I did about the Nazis, Goebbels and all the dehumanizing going on and these people and their supporters start hyperventilating when someone calls them racist.

“You callin’ me stupid or sumptin?” they shout in fury which of course makes them right and allows them to continue.

Hey you know, we’re just trying to keep you from hanging yourself, but whatever. I won’t mind blowing your head off when the time is right.

FYWP FY FY

Is this thing on? WP eatzez everything! Trying from iPhone HELP

I’ve got my birth certificate right her….. LOOK AN ELEPHANT!

I thought you were blond. No need, really.

That grasshopper guy on that old TV show wasn’t easy to catch. Stone cold karate-chop your azz.

Just to rub it in — yes, the Terminal Gravity IPA is even tastier at lunchtime. It’s better yet when you have an afternoon of PL/SQL coding to “look forward” to…

Even shorter Big Trunk (or is he The Deacon?):

Marie Antoinette needs more cake (or brioche, for you purists)!

the Terminal Gravity IPA is even tastier at lunchtime.

Bite me.

It’s better yet when you have an afternoon of PL/SQL coding to “look forward” to…

Okay, I forgive you. You’re entitled to it.

All this grabbing power and ramming it down throats has got me all hot and horny. Where are all the white women at?

“Marie Antoinette needs more cake (or brioche, for you purists)!”

Indeed, may I be the first to deliver, to NYC, on the end of my long knife.

people actually USE PL/SQL? Huh. I thought it was in the curriculum as a laboratory oddity. Keep drinking.

Indeed, may I be the first to deliver, to NYC, on the end of my long knife.

What NY ever do to you????

JOHN adds: Federal employees now are paid much more money than their counterparts in private industry. Is Obama willing to acknowledge that they earn “enough” and should forgo future pay increases? Obama himself earned more than $5 million last year. Is that “enough”? George Soros has made countless millions from currency manipulations that many regard as little better than extortion. Does he have “enough”? I suspect that “enough” will prove to be a standard that is both highly flexible and intimately related to political influence.

Shorter dumb guy: I know you are, but what am I?

George Soros has made countless millions from currency manipulations that many regard as little better than extortion

Is this not the “free market” you people like to cite for your masturbation pleasure?

You own your dog, in the eyes of the law, cracker. The CONSTUSHUN says you can’t own people.

In the Original Recipe Constitution it was totally OK to own people. You kids with your newfangled proclamations and amendments and such-like.

Note to Actor212- The bat weight is not the critical factor- it’s all in the wrists- technique is everything! Experience really hones one’s skills, there is no substitute. Practice makes perfect!

FYWP

Where are all the white women at?

Lacy is right here .

“What NY ever do to you????”

Allow the Marie Antoinettes of the world to live there, even take over all the good places like they always do.

Isn’t it strange that what we’ve been seeing from the right wing since Inauguration Day is simply a repetition of the accusations which the left and Real Center (not the Brooksian-Friedmanite chimera) levied toward the Cheney-Bush regime?

Isn’t it strange how I have this talent for puking this shit all over the interwebz and can do it without having died from laughing at the dumbfux who believe it?

Lacy is right here .

Well, this one sounds very enlightened. You wouldn’t happen to have her phone number would you?

It’s better yet when you have an afternoon of PL/SQL coding to “look forward” to…

Suggest the jump from microbrew to heroin, stat!

people actually USE PL/SQL? Huh. I thought it was in the curriculum as a laboratory oddity. Keep drinking.

Amazingly, it actually makes some stuff quite a bit easier. Not that anybody cares, but I’m writing a bunch of aggragating/reporting routines, and they’re way easier to do, and get accurate results out of, in PL/SQL. And once these core routines are done, they can be called from outside the database using pretty much any language you want. In this case, the rest of the app is Java.

But yeah, a little beer helps.

And as to the craziness in Arizona (and the other red-governed-states threatening to follow suit): I really hope these racist fucks continue down this path. The whole fucking world is becoming less white by the second. Trying to impose a new American apartheid is a absolutely brilliant for the republican party. Keep it up.

“And as to the craziness in Arizona (and the other red-governed-states threatening to follow suit): I really hope these racist fucks continue down this path. The whole fucking world is becoming less white by the second. Trying to impose a new American apartheid is a absolutely brilliant for the republican party. Keep it up.”

I agree exactly. And if they’ll migrate to one area, we can cordone them off, walk away and go about our business of running a sane government unhindered.

But yeah, a little beer helps.

I like to drink a little before I write papers. Problem is, there’s a fine line between “drinking enough to relax” and “being too drunk to write.”

I’m not thrilled with my placement of quotation marks in that previous post.

Drunks’ll do “that”.

Victoria Jackson being crazy again. It’s great.

No way am I following a link to anything regarding Victoria Jackson, unless it’s a news report detailing her unfortunate fall into a well.

Two fewer people on the BART! WooHoo!

Yeah, yeah, the comment is way back in the mists of time–But:

No fucking way. TeaBaggers don’t can’t get on BART. The ticket machines are a low-grade intelligence test and they would PHAILPHAILPHAIL.

And there are people from Ickystahn (also known as Somewhereelseylvania) in the stations and sitting on the trains.

No way am I following a link to anything regarding Victoria Jackson

Ha ha! AVOID THIS!

I’ve been thinking. Christian martyrs are different than Muslim suicide bombers. For one thing, Christian martyrs are murdered, they don’t commit suicide. And secondly, they don’t take innocent victims with them.

If we lose our freedom to worship, and Castro and his brother are finally dead, maybe us Americans will be the ones risking our lives on rafts to get to Cuba for freedom. Wait a minute… why am I even thinking this stuff?

These are the times we are living in.

Keep it up.

Throw a veil over it, huh?

There’s a tiny problem with the “demographics is against ’em so I hope they keep fucking that chicken” thing, though.

Let’s say every pasty Bagger who croaks is replaced by two non-white babies. Those babies can’t vote for 18 whole years while the whole Bag o’ Baggers can march down to the voting booth and elect, say, Jeff Sessions for the 937th time. IOW, raw demographics don’t matter as much as the numbers for eligible voters, which is going to lag for another 20 years.

Not saying it doesn’t or won’t have an effect, it’s just that demographics of their racist bullshit won’t be the “ooo, yer gonna get it in the next election” that people seem to hope it will be, based on the census, etc.

Oh, sweet baby Jesus, this is full of win…

“My gym, LA Fitness quit playing Fox News on the overhead TV’s about a month ago. I called the LA Fitness International Headquarters in Irvine, phone # 949-255-7200, and I was told that they have a cheaper cable plan that does not include Fox News. Hmm. So now we are all forced to watch the Liberal/Progressive News Channels? We aren’t even allowed our one, little, partially-Conservative Channel? The airports only play CNN – the Progressive Propaganda Channel. Now, my gym. Next, my home? “

Let’s say every pasty Bagger who croaks is replaced by two non-white babies. Those babies can’t vote for 18 whole years while the whole Bag o’ Baggers can march down to the voting booth

That’s why we need those death panels already!

If we lose our freedom to worship

OMG kill yourself now JUST IN CASE!

The airports only play CNN – the Progressive Propaganda Channel. Now, my gym. Next, my home?

Goddamn government ramming switching to cheaper cable plans down our throats.

Ha ha! AVOID THIS!

Damn you! The stupid, it burns!!!

whole years while the whole Bag o’ Baggers can march down to the voting booth

That’s why we need those death panels already!

Those morons have no idea how a literacy test would actually hurt them the most. A literacy test with history questions. Yes. Or science. OH yes, the thoughts make for some fun right this minute.

Goddamn government ramming switching to cheaper cable plans down our throats.

Maybe she should volunteer to pay the gym’s cable bill.

Sarah Palin calls for more drilling as second rig overturns.

Thomasina Friedman:

After the last Tea Party on Tax Day, my last night in Washington, D.C., I wearily shuffled down the street with my teenage daughter, my flags, bags, and cameras, and my friend Chris. We were exhausted but high on the fumes of FREEDOM. We were not alone. There were millions, like us, who had not been duped by this arrogant ‘drunk- with- power’ administration. We caught a taxi.

Our taxi driver spoke in a thick Indian (from India) accent, “Where have you been?”

I responded, “The Tea Party!”

It continues with awesome cabbie wisdom. VICTORIA JACKSON FOR QUEEN OF RENEW AMERICA!

Not saying it doesn’t or won’t have an effect, it’s just that demographics of their racist bullshit won’t be the “ooo, yer gonna get it in the next election” that people seem to hope it will be, based on the census, etc.

Understood, but I think (hope) the teabagging republican racists in charge are overestimating the motivation, and quantity, of the rest of the racists. I also think (hope) they’re also overestimating the number of borderline racists that will happily go along.

But yeah, mostly I just hope that’s the case. It’s entirely possible (likely?) that more than half of the electorate of this country are complete fuckheads, based on, y’know, history and shit.

overestimating the motivation, and quantity

And quality also too.

If we lose our freedom to worship, and Castro and his brother are finally dead, maybe us Americans will be the ones risking our lives on rafts to get to Cuba for freedom. Wait a minute… why am I even thinking this stuff?

ummmmmmmmmmm… ‘CAUSE YOU’RE A FUCKING AIRHEAD MAYBE?

yeah, we’re SO GODDAMN CLOSE to losing freedom of religion in this country.

WHAT. FUCKING. UNIVERSE. ARE. THESE. PEOPLE. LIVING. IN?

Actual Jonah “The Whale” Goldberg argument: making people get health insurance is just like racial profiling of hispanics.

Colbert and Stewart might as well give up now–these people are becoming impossible to parody.

If it were up to me, the feds would still enforce basic civil rights, provide for the common defense and protect interstate commerce (sorry, nuke-free zones!), but beyond that, let freedom reign.

At that point nobody would pay Jonah the wingnut welfare to write drivel and he’d have to deliver pizzas provided he could work the pedals properly.

No one would hire him. Who would be so stupid as to have their profits rely on Jonah not eating the pizza?

Here’s what I don’t understand.

1. The poor are the vast majority.
2. Socialism spreads wealth to the poor.
3. The poor should hate socialism.

That these idiots can make this argument without being laughed out of existence is the great triumph of the wealthy.

1. The poor are the vast majority.
2. Socialism spreads wealth to the poor.
3. The poor should hate socialism.
4. ????
5. Profit!

Get it now?

Alternate formulation:

1. The poor are the vast majority.
2. Socialism spreads wealth to them darkies and furriners!
3. The poor should hate socialism.

Spite is a powerful weapon, my friend.

No no no no. It works like this:

1. The poor are the vast majority.
2. Socialism spreads wealth to the poor
3. Tell the white poor the dark and furrin poor get more wealth than you!
3. The white poor should hate socialism.

Did nobody stop to think, “Hey, aside from the nonsensical nature of this argument, maybe we shouldn’t compare human beings to insects”???

No. Nobody did.

Humorous dildo?

A CHEF has died after an EEL was put up his bum.

Shocked doctors in Sichuan, China, found the sea creature in the 59-year-old man’s rectum after his death, it has been reported.

The 50cm long Asian swamp eel was allegedly inserted into the unnamed man’s bottom, after he passed out drunk, by pals playing a prank on him.

Medics said the eel had devoured his bowels.

Yeah, it’s the Sun but it’s worth it for the headline.

I’ve been thinking. Christian martyrs are different than Muslim suicide bombers. For one thing, Christian martyrs are murdered, they don’t commit suicide. And secondly, they don’t take innocent victims with them.

That clever observation has been made by the American right wing endlessly ever since 9/12. If it’s taken nine whole years for your “thinking” to catch up with people that dumb, you might want to stop thinking now before you sprain something.

Christian terrorism still exists today, by the way – see Sabra and Shatila.

The 50cm long Asian swamp eel was allegedly inserted into the unnamed man’s bottom, after he passed out drunk, by pals playing a prank on him.

And I thought passing out drunk amongst white folk was bad.

If Latinos in Texas voted the way they do in California, there is a decent chance <a href="http://insomniactive.com/2009/10/09/texas-observer-on-the-mystery-of-latino-turnout-in-texas/
Obama would have won Texas.

The Census Bureau estimated, based on the number of Spanish surnames on the voter rolls, that 38 percent of the Latino U.S. citizens over age 18 in Texas went to the polls in November 2008. That was a slight uptick from 2004, when 29 percent of eligible Latinos voted. But other states experienced huge surges in Latino voting last year. California saw about 57 percent of eligible Latinos vote in 2008,

I am not sure why Latino men were so relatively R friendly, but that is guaranteed to change as well.

Latino Men (10%)

28%

http://www.cnn.com/ELECTION/2008/results/polls/#TXP00p1

WHAT. FUCKING. UNIVERSE. ARE. THESE. PEOPLE. LIVING. IN?

They are dead in the m-brane. Perhaps dimension negative eleventy-five.

“Given that poorer citizens always outnumber the rich…”

Right. It’s like a law of physics or something. There must always be a small number of assholes who successfully screw their neighbors out of everything good in life. Water flows downhill, Goldman Sachs exists. It’s a fundamental coefficient of the universe, man.

“As Michelle Malkin observes…”

Translation: [blank, open mouthed, drooling stare]

“JOHN adds: Federal employees now are paid much more money than their counterparts in private industry.”

I know this is true because they have six times as many unicorns. Six! Also, turnips! Buttocks! I am insane!

Wait a minute… why am I even thinking this stuff?

Your mother snacked on paint chips through the pregnancy?

I am not sure why Latino men were so relatively R friendly, but that is guaranteed to change as well.

Well if memory serves, recent Republican presidents had worked hard to make some inroads into the Hispanic vote (very sensible, given that it’s the fastest growing demographic). Perhaps the amnesties helped. But either way, yes, the current immigration law will probably do miracles to push the Hispanic vote into Democrats’ arms.

What I find hysterical is the routine complaint from the right “bu- bu- but it’s a LIBERAL PLOT to get more and more LIBERAL VOTERS!” Has it ever occurred to them that if they weren’t quite so racist, maybe these voters wouldn’t be quite so liberal? Just saying…

Has it ever occurred to them that if they weren’t quite so racist, maybe these voters wouldn’t be quite so liberal?

Um, no, apparently.

Looks like Bill Moyers is packing it in/ vbsr

Y’know, I’m not sure how it’s a liberal plot to have the Republicans punch themselves in the nuts over and over. That’s really more just utilizing a natural condition of the universe, isn’t it?

“Omigod, the sun has set! It’s a liberal plot!”

Well if memory serves, recent Republican presidents had worked hard to make some inroads into the Hispanic vote

Yeah. Dubya was fluent in Spanish (not really, but he spoke it basically as well as he did English).

It was prolly Molly (Ivins) who I recall saying The Shrub spoke in his best Spanish 101…

Hey OBS, have you tied Hop Stoopid or does your name imply that you’re only snobbish when it comes to beer from Oregon?

I’ve been thinking. Christian martyrs are different than Muslim suicide bombers. And secondly, they don’t take innocent victims with them.

Stupid Muslims!

How many times do I have to tell them they’re supposed to strap the explosives to an aircraft an then drop them on the innocent people?

Do I have to teach these people everything?

Biggest geopolitical power-move Obama’s done so far that comes to mind is pulling the USAF out of Iraq.

POWER-GRAB FAIL.

Christian terrorism still exists today, by the way – see Sabra and Shatila.

Small potatoes compared to the Central American death-squads in the 80s, all of whom explicitly referenced Christianity in the struggle against godless Liberation Theology communism … let alone these guys today (although technically they’re a hybrid of Christianity, Islam & paganism).

Irony Bonus: “Whatsoever ye do unto one of these little ones, ye also do unto Me.”

“Sarah Palin calls for more drilling as second rig overturns.”

“Every time I clean my gun
Thoughts of u get in my eyes…
U’re a moran, I don’t care
I just want your creamy thighs”

Wow. Nobody went there yet.

PeeJ said,

May 1, 2010 at 2:04

Humorous dildo?

A CHEF has died after an EEL was put up his bum.

Shocked doctors in Sichuan, China, found the sea creature in the 59-year-old man’s rectum after his death, it has been reported.

The 50cm long Asian swamp eel was allegedly inserted into the unnamed man’s bottom, after he passed out drunk, by pals playing a prank on him.

Medics said the eel had devoured his bowels.

Yeah, it’s the Sun but it’s worth it for the headline.

With friends like these, who needs enemas?

(all week. veal. waitress.)

(all week. veal eel. waitress.)

Fixed for humorousness and dildo-osity

How’d I miss that one?

The sun was in my eyes, I tell ya!

Wait, where the hell is it 7:57 on May 1st already? Oh, right, there are other countries.

So wake up Germany already. I’m an American and I’m bored.

I’m curious if anyone else is here, and I have a somewhat odd request. Is there a livelier site at 2 AM central standard time? There are occasionally a few here awake now, but it seems kinda dead right now. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but I do wonder. Is there a nightowl gathering place on the lefty blogosphere?

Go to bed Little Boots.

Go to bed Little Boots.

That’s what she said.

Scuse mah fin-GAHS clawed toes.

Fuck damn shit hell fuck…

…I got out of the boat. (Idiot.)

Catching grasshoppers. Is this horror the beginning of the end?

Is this horror the beginning of the end?

Not if we can get Zombie Peter Graves to help out.

Is this horror the beginning of the end?

According to Nostradamus:
‘You will know the end is near
When killer cucumbers appear.’

Scuse mah fin-GAHS clawed toes.

Owtchie!

kg said,

May 1, 2010 at 3:08

Hey OBS, have you tied Hop Stoopid or does your name imply that you’re only snobbish when it comes to beer from Oregon?

Sorry I missed this, but I was away from the intarwebtoobs all weekend.

I’m not all that snobbish about the location a beer came from, in fact some of my best friendsmost recent favorite beers came from Southern Tier brewing out in Lakewood, New York…

I have indeed tried Hop Stoopid, and it is stoopidly hopped. I do like hops, but that one’s a bit much. I like a little nuance in a beer.

I do generally like Lagunitas beers though, in fact I have a six-pack of their IPA in my fridge right now.

Obviously that Anonymous above was me. Sheesh, Mondays suck.