And We Hope You Like Damning Too

Tjasko, RedState For Kids!1
The 3 most damning graphs in modern American politics

Right, as if we’d let that pass unchallenged.


Above: Dah-hah-haaaaamn, that’s a goddamn damning graph in modern goddamn American thingy, with the damning.

Indeed, plus also damn.2 So Tjasko, blast it, let’s see your three darned things of dratted reprove.

1. Stimulus and Unemployment: Real vs. Projected (Source)


Above: Shhh! We switched the graphs. Let’s see how long we can get away with it.

This chart is taken straight from the Obama administration, and was used by them to sell the $800,000,000,0001 economic stimulus bill. The only change has been to fill in the actual unemployment numbers. There are two conclusions one can reach here:

Wow, damning. It looks like unemployment among Democrats dropped suspiciously right after the election, except it sure wasn’t those industrious Republicans on the way-bottom who were getting fired to open up the jobs.

The second conclusion we’re reaching is that the Party of No, with the red line all sticking way up there, is where the Republicans are hiding their unemployed. Where better than a shadow party devoted to legislative gridlock? It’s not like they’re going to join any campaigns to extend unemployment benefits or anything. The Democrats ought to make themselves one of these, and call it the Lie-beral DemonCrap Farty or something else like that, flying it basically at tree level under the rarad, as it…way-way-wait a second, ‘rarad?’ Okay, wow, that’s my new grafitti tag. It’s an authentic tyop.3

Hey, somebody left this back here, or it fell. What’s this caption say? “Above: Hi, I fell, so you ought to put me back on top of this thing here.”


Above: WTF! I didn’t say to… Oh fine, here’s the real graph.

There are two conclusions one can reach here:

1. By their own numbers, the stimulus has made the situation significantly worse than it would have been had we done nothing. We should not have done it.

CHONG: Aw, man. I sprayed the extinguisher on the flaming curtains, but the Christmas tree is on fire.

CHEECH: Dude, man, that’s significantly worse than if you did nothing. You should never have sprayed an extinguisher on the flaming curtains, man.

2. As the ability to make accurate predictions is the true test of knowledge, we can safely assume that they simply don’t know what they’re talking about when it comes to the economy. This is also a good reason not to let them burn $800 billion.

CHONG: How come you didn’t tell me the curtains were made of weed, man?

CHEECH: They were from my cousin’s upholstery shop, man. Oh no, my crushed velvet cheetah print is catching fire. Quick, hand me something.

CHONG: Here’s some money, man.

CHEECH: Holy shit, man, why did you make me throw… Shit, man, now the money’s on fire! Oh my God!

CHONG: Wow, what’d you do that for, man?

CHEECH: Holy shit. Don’t just stand there, man! Catch the…aah! Fire burning the…aah! Holy shit, why’d you…? Oh my God, that was the 800 billion dollars. Now those ACORN thugs are gonna kill us, man!

CHONG: Aw man, I just wanted to go halves on an ottoman cover.

2. The Deficit (Source)


Above: Maybe you think these Tristram Shandy posts are difficult to read, but to calibrate ‘difficult,’
try looking at this graph and not seeing a marimba.

Though this chart was not put together by the White House, the numbers come directly from them and the Congressional Budget Office. The next somebody tries to rhetorically ask why people weren’t up in arms about Bush’s spending, you need merely show them this graph.

At which you’ll say, “Uh, because the skeletons are dancing to this marimba?” and hand it back to him. And he won’t know what you mean by that, but will go look it up on the Internet and find this post and then print it out and hand it to you saying “Oh yeah? How do you like this, huh?” and so hello, good sir or madam.

When you get to this part, where it explains that Barack Obama was inaugurated in January, 2009, while the Federal fiscal year runs from October 1 to September 30, you can stand here blinking as he’s like, “What?! Don’t you see that big, huge deficit in 2009? What kind of idiot would see a deficit like that and simply reject reality? How can you possibly be that clueless to ask why we weren’t up in arms about Bush?” And you can just stand here blinking, then take your finger and poke the following link, opening this piece of paper to The Executive Office of the President of the United States, and then hand it back to him with a primly insouciant flourish, counseling that if one wished to be a friend both to Fact and Merriment, then quickly might an intimacy be forged between the two, should the hey there, pleasedta-meetcha, pal — saying this abruptly, and as he holds out his handshaking hand by reflex, his expression already returning from mild startlement to the affectless smirk of wingnut fact rejection, you give into its grip a bowling bag labeled Naked Pictures of Bristol Palin.

Just around the corner, when you are just leaning against the brick wall there, mock-whistling and checking the time on your phone, comes the Plouf! of the dye pack, and should your phone then sound, it is surely Merriment texting.

3. Partisan Composition of Antiwar Protests, 2007-2009 (Source)


Above: A world in which nobody switches affiliations

Personally, I find this the most damning one of all. As you near the 2008 election, Democrats find themselves extremely interested in the Iraq War. As soon as their guy is elected, this interest disappears. As the months pass, the War continues, but somehow Democrats never regain much of an interest in protesting it.

Instead, these mysterious parties of entirely different people, this ‘Party of No’ and ‘Third Party,’ come steaming in on the Mysteryville Choo Choo, somehow making up the Democrats’ numbers almost exactly. Tell us if we’re going out way beyond Pluto here, but what if — and I’m saying if — a lot of voters, okay? stay with us here, maybe have voted Democratic in some big, huge election of vast consequence, but were actually kind of, uh, un- or non-dependent, or not-very-dependent-able, or couldn’t really be depended on, or ‘in.’ In-dependents were crossing over from some…well, not exactly a Tea Party,4 but heck, actually not really any party at all…sort of No Party thing?

It must have been some other party they were in, is what I’m saying, except right during this election they had a scheme to impersonate Democrats, going into voting booths and actually voting Democrat. And also these Third People did that too! I mean, what if? And then you ask them later and they’re like, “No, I’m really a member of the No-I’m-Not Party” — as the graph above shows — except do they ever literally vote No? I think you can see where I’m going with this.

It’s exactly what you would expect to see if you thought that they protested the war not because they cared about the war, but because they didn’t like Bush.

This is one of those fascinatingly simple conservative accusations where there’s no actual accusation (i.e. of wrongdoing), but only a means of chattering accusingly about hidden true natures and secret agendas. As we hear, and if the somewhat quacky survey data is to be believed, these people protested the war not because they cared about the war, but because they didn’t like Bush — when the protests were supposed to be about the war! Except no, they didn’t like Bush, do you see?

Those bastards. What gets me is how they protested the war.


Notes:

Title cf. Bob Marley.

1 While there should be such a thing as RedState For Kids, and it should be written by Muppet Babies versions of the RedState front-pagers (I’m imagining a red and freckled slingshot-pocketed scamp named Roky Erickson) — and furthermore, while it should feature as a main enticement the sort of fun-rationing, anti-playful puzzles that appear on paper placemats, with this section called something like Cocky Dickson’s Doodlewangers — the post above is just a RedState recommended diary.

2 On top of this, Springmeier isn’t a particularly meticulous scholar of the Million-Armed Conspiracy Octopus, a field notable for its scholarship chiefly in categorically sucking at it. For one example, this ‘Order of To Ov’ is just a declarified name for the good old Ordo Templi Orientis, these days a properly 21st-Century secret society with a website (a tool of such utility that even their more-secret, less-social ally, the Astrum Argentum, now grudgingly maintains one). And while Springmeier is clearly vulnerable to poor decision-making, having imagined the hard work of bank robbery as a route to easy money, it is plain old trouble that is courted in placing the Gardnerian witches above the OTO on an organizational chart, conspiracy gibberish or no. One might for comparison picture a Department of Defense flow chart that had a box with ‘Marines’ down near the bottom of the page, and one above it saying ‘Coast Guard.’

3 This word is pronounced ‘typo.’

4 Blarg, it is a Eat Party.

 

Comments: 668

 
 
lobbey (in Korea)
 

waaa. am I first….

point 3, are they now protesting that the Iraq war shouldn’t have been undertaken…. the traitors…

 
 

The next somebody tries to rhetorically ask why people weren’t up in arms about Bush’s spending…

There’s nothing ‘rhetorical’ about it, jackass. We actually want to know why the Future Tebaggers of ‘Muka let their vast, sagging buttocks drape over their pasty, soft, plump hands whilst Speaker Hastert, uh, DeLay, er, Abramoff and President Bush Cheney squandered the huge surpluses President Clinton had achieved. And we will easily accept your explanation, “I was holding my head in my hands in shame,” ’cause that’s exactly where it was the whole time.

 
 

Of course the black brotherhood is on the bottom.

 
 

Also too:

Knight of Pelican and Eagle

Certainly nothing to do with the PELICAN INSTITUTE, I hope. Who knew that Jimmy O’Keefe and his merry band of pranksters were trying to spy on Landrieu…FOR TEH NEW WORLDZ ORDER?

 
 

Maybe after peaking in Sept ’08 (why weren’t they out campaigning, the bastards?) their guy got elected and began doing what they wanted done on the war – namely sticking to the get-out-of-dodge and don’t-fvcking-do-it-wrong-if-you’re-gonna-do-it points.

Also, notice on that chart isn’t the decline in attendance in total… Why did the Republicans who used to manage to be 1 and 2 % stop going, too?

 
 

I live an hour from the Pacific Ocean. I took trains to D.C. to protest the Iraq war. It’s words like “draw-down” and “biggest logistical movement since the build-up of WW II” to describe the way in which we are packing and leaving Iraq that keeps me from going to protests against that war now. I’m not sure what I think about our involvement in Afghanistan.

 
 

Oh, look, Republicans trying to do science. How adorable.

Graphs are fun. And they’re so reliable, since there’s ABSOLUTELY NO WAY to make data look super-alarming by adjusting scales. Nope, no sir. Graphs are God himself talking to us, just with pretty colors and lines, instead of all that wordy stuff.

 
 

And they’re so reliable, since there’s ABSOLUTELY NO WAY to make data look super-alarming by adjusting scales.

The two skinny little books no one should live without: Strunk & White (“Soulwise, these are trying times”) and Darrell Huff’s How to Lie With Statistics.

 
 

To N__B’s list, I’d add Edward Tufte’s The Visual Display of Quantitative Information (i.e. lose the friggin’ default Excel style- a personal bete noir).

 
 

Edward Tufte’s The Visual Display of Quantitative Information

Great book, but an order of magnitude more expensive that S&W and HTLWS. Tufte’s “The Cognitive Style of Powerpoint” has some of the same message: There are no bullet points like Stalin’s bullet points.

 
 

Is a craft-practicing a witch a witch who scrapbooks? Because I want in on that action.

 
 

Possibly a witch who solos in a sailboat.

 
 

Bah! TagFail.

Try this.

 
Ted the Slacker
 

A tyop. God I laugh at the dumbest little things but that was genius, Gav.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

*sob* But I HAD to do it, kittons! I am so, so sorry.

 
 

The first rule of Pelican & Eagle Knighthood is, Don’t mention Pelican & Eagle Knighthood.

 
 

But I HAD to do it, kittons!

Sure, the old “just doing my job” line…wait…you’re responsible for the death of kittons? Fuck kittons, I’m only concerned about kittens.

 
 

Pelican & Eagle Knighthood.

Pek?

 
 

Rule Kitannia; Kittania rules the waves. Kittons never ever ever shall be slaves.

 
 

I thought Kittons were fundamental particles made up of meowons and shedons.

 
 

The next somebody tries to rhetorically ask why people weren’t up in arms about Bush’s spending, you need merely show them this graph.

Can’t make a graph but,…

# of WMDs found? Zero
# of Dead U.S. Military: 4287
# of Dead and Wounded? 600,000+
Total cost of Iraq: $2 Trillion

So go ahead and try it you shit-stain motherfuckers!

 
 

I thought Kittons were fundamental particles made up of meowons and shedons.

With a side order of talking Trans Ams.

 
 

I’m feeling uncharacteristically charitable so let’s try explaining this in terms he might understand:

See, you’ve got this roommate, right, who goes out and buys this busted-ass Camero and drags it into your driveway. He didn’t really ask you and when you did find out what he was up to and told him not to do it he said “shut up” and moved it there anyway. He never gets the fucking thing running and it gets real obvious real quick that the dude doesn’t know the first fucking thing about cars, nevermind fixing them, and beside the neighbor kids keep locking themselves in the trunk and dying so you tell him to get the fucking thing out of the driveway already. But no matter how much you bitch he just leaves it there and the neighbor kids still keep dying in the goddamed thing, so you boot his ass out and the fucker still leaves it there when he splits (owing you a shitload of back rent, by the way).

Suddenly, you’re a lot more careful about who you pick for a roommate and you find this one dude who’s all “man, moving that fucking broke-ass Camero into the driveway was a bad idea, I wouldn’t do that shit, and even though I didn’t move it there I’ll still make sure it gets towed away, deal?” So you say “deal” and the new dude moves in and, just like he said, he calls the tow truck and the junkyard and sets it up to finally get that fucking thing out of your driveway. It takes longer than you’d like but, whatever, ’cause that shit is finally getting taken care of.

Now, according to this asshole’s logic, if you don’t yell at the the new dude as much as as you did the old dude it proves that you didn’t really care about the fucking Camero or the dead kids, you just hated the old dude for some mysterious unstated reason.

To which I can only say, “go fuck yourself”.

 
 

Gavin, Websense blocks the graphs on RedState.

Are you seriously saying that they used the same fucking graphs for point one and three?

 
 

OK, no, it’s not. I misread Gavin’s unusually pedantic and dense prose. My bad.

 
Ted the Slacker
 

Now, according to this asshole’s logic

Logic don’t count for nothin’. If the nutz had any sense of logic and/or consistency, they’d realize that they are giant assholes.

But they don’t, it’s all tribal.

The virtual trailer-parks are sight to behold these days, any blogpost about Arizona has the crazies in even crazier mode than usual. If it was the plan all along to put immigration reform on the table ahead of the midterms, I got to take my hat off the the Dem leaders.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I thought Kittons were fundamental particles made up of meowons and shedons.

Also, poopons and fuckupyourcouchons.

I, personally, like this graph, Especially the choice of more muted, jewel tones instead of the bright blues and reds we’re used to.

 
 

From T&U’s mangoes*: Obama Is Creaming Bush

Did we really need to know that?

*I’m far too gentlemanly to veil anything here.

 
 

From T&U’s mangoes*: […]
*I’m far too gentlemanly to veil anything here.

Unveiled mangoes?

I! W? N?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 


Obama Is Creaming Bush

Did we really need to know that?

So much innuendo, so little time…

*I’m far too gentlemanly to veil anything here.

Thanks. I admire your restraint.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Unveiled mangoes?

I! W? N?

I never knew you had such a strong, uh, interest in fruit.

 
 

I admire your restraint.

I had to search long and hard* for one that would meet** my needs AND had copper-plated D-rings.

*Not a veiled PENIS reference.

**Not a vealed reference.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I had to search long and hard* for one that would meet** my needs AND had copper-plated D-rings.

Ooooh, steampunky!

 
 

: Þ? ?!!11!!

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 
 

The next somebody tries to rhetorically ask why people weren’t up in arms about Bush’s spending, you need merely show them this graph.

How does that go again” Sadly, no.

 
We Are Symbionese, If You Please
 

Cool…I was listening to a tape of Robert Anton Wilson & E.J. Gold last night riffing on the secrets of the Illuminati . That pyramid needs updating though…where are the hackers on steroids?

 
 

The stream* of consciousness that is Gav’s prose makes me smarter and dumber at the same time.

*That means whatever the hell you want it to mean.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

The stream* of consciousness that is Gav’s prose makes me smarter and dumber at the same time.

Unlike this, “[b]y their own numbers, the stimulus has made the situation significantly worse than it would have been had we done nothing,” which just makes you dumber. And/or causes your head to explode.

 
 

For some reason I read E.T. this week about how PowerPoint kills people.

PowerPoint Does Rocket Science–and Better Techniques for Technical Reports

I wonder what he’d think of the illuminati illustration.

 
 

I never knew you had such a strong, uh, interest in fruit.

I’m all about the low-hanging kind.

I admire your restraint.

Also, his ball-gag¹

¹VN-S*R

*Nut-Sack

 
 

Unlike this, “[b]y their own numbers, the stimulus has made the situation significantly worse than it would have been had we done nothing,” which just makes you dumber. And/or causes your head to explode.

LuLz! Exactly. When I read that, I thought “yeah, he’s right, we shouldn’t waste money on firefighters.” But, Gavin one upped me. I never saw the Cheech_Chong_Flaming_Curtains bit coming.

 
 

I’m all about the low-hanging kind.

That must get difficult when purchasing underwear.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

But, Gavin one upped me. I never saw the Cheech_Chong_Flaming_Curtains bit coming.

Gavin’s ability to push simple jokes and anti-wingnut arguments into the realm of the surreal is something to admire.

 
 

*That means whatever the hell you want it to mean.

Bat’s piss?

See, if that Hussein feller had the decency to just pretend nothing costs anything, like his predecessor with the flight suit and the codpiece and the thrill up Chris Matthews’ leg, those graphs would be a damn’ site less scary-looking.

It’s his own fault these people are so relentlessly stupid and/or lying.

 
 

That must get difficult when purchasing underwear.

That’s why I wear thongs: it keeps all the merchandise on one shelf.

 
 

“damn sight”? “dam site”?

I think I caught the stupids. I blame Obama.

 
 

If the Republicans could blind people, they’d rule the world.

Sight is theft.

 
 

I enjoyed his use of their predictions to simultaneously prove that they suck at predictions (“The UE rate is higher than they predicted”) and that we’re worse off with the stimulus than without because “Look at their predictions of the UE rate without the stimulus!” Of course, I’ve been hitting myself upside the head with a hammer all morning…

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

That’s why I wear thongs

No. Just…NO!

 
 

No. Just…NO!

Do you know how many potential Little Actors would be euthanized if I wore anything else, you Islamofascistfeminazifetuskiller????

They’d never make it into the jar!

 
 

That’s why I wear thongs

No. Just…NO!

You prefer commandos?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Do you know how many potential Little Actors would be euthanized if I wore anything else, you Islamofascistfeminazifetuskiller????

What are you talking about? I’m pretty sure the human race managed to procreate before the existence of the (*shudder*) male thong.

 
 

I’m pretty sure the human race managed to procreate before the existence of the (*shudder*) male thong.

Not with tight jeans!

What do you have against testicles?

I mean, besides your lips?

 
 

War? What war? I was told the surge worked. Was I misinformed?

 
 

I blame Obama.

I wonder what kind of deadlines people like Tjasko(??) have. It must be incredibly hard to create these backwards, false, easily refutable posts in order.

Or, now that I don’t think about it, it could be really easy.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Not with tight jeans!

Again, NO.

I may vomit.

What do you have against testicles?

I mean, besides your lips?

Hey, I don’t have testicles against my lips…currently!

Tangentially related: Dudes, if you have to warn your new beau not to laugh before you take off your pants during sexytimes, maybe it’s time to toss the leopard-print bikini.

 
 

Hi, all. FY, WP.

 
 

The only point these guys might have (besides the one at the top of their head) is the graph on unemployment. In the sense that it is *theoretically possible* that the stimulus worsened the crisis given the actual numbers compared to the projections.

Of course, in order to come to that conclusion, you need:

a) faith against all past historical evidence that government spending worsens an economic crisis (supplied by an endless supply of right-wing revisionists who claim FDR worsened the Great Depression)

b) to acknowledge that the projections given no action were accurate but the projections if action is taken were completly wrong (gee, how convenient, they’re wrong except when it supports your POV)

 
 

Not with tight jeans!

Again, NO.

You’d prefer a burqa????

 
 

War? What war? I was told the surge worked. Was I misinformed?

Nope, I read that on the Interwebs too! You know what else is something I just recently found out? Oil and water don’t mix. Weird, I know.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

You’d prefer a burqa????

Depends. How tight are we talking, here?

 
 

Of course, in order to come to that conclusion, you need:

c) a time machine. Which in my alternate reality, nearly everyone has one. Similar to a camera on a cell phone.

 
 

Depends. How tight are we talking, here?

It’s a burqa. If you want tight, buy the gift wrap option.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

c) a time machine. Which in my alternate reality, nearly everyone has one. Similar to a camera on a cell phone.

SWEET! I want to live in your alternate reality!

 
 

Of course, in order to come to that conclusion, you need:

c) a time machine.

OT, but hysterical: http://www.27bslash6.com/p2p2.html

 
 

How tight are we talking, here?

Not this tight, but sometimes it does make for a catchy business name.

 
 

c) a time machine. Which in my alternate reality, nearly everyone has one

With my luck, I’ll end up my own grandfather.

 
 

Now, this is somewhat off topic. But, just so there’s no confusion, Glenn Beck is “kicking it old school”.

If after reading that you don’t want 2012 to be the actual end of days, you have something wrong with you.

 
 


What do you have against testicles?
mean, besides your lips?

Since when did T&U become a conservative?

 
 

With my luck, I’ll end up my own grandfather.

Inbreeding explains so much.

 
 

Not this tight, but sometimes it does make for a catchy business name.

Bonus Lawsuit Sweetness:

CAMEL TOW LLC says:
Please search the state LLC records. I started the same business 1 year ago in Lees Summit Missouri.

https://www.sos.mo.gov/BusinessEntity/soskb/Corp.asp?2753380

Contact CMLTOW@mail.com for Coozies and T-Shirts.

Posted On: Tuesday, Feb. 16 2010 @ 4:07PM

 
 

Glenn Beck is “kicking it old school”.

You did notice who wrote that piece, right?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

OT, but hysterical: http://www.27bslash6.com/p2p2.html

Hee hee. I swear, few things have made me laugh harder than the spider drawing as payment.

 
 

Personally, I find this the most damning one of all.

Concern troll is trolled. No. Controlled. Concern troll is controlled.

NO WAIT. CONCERNED. Concern troll is concerned.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

OT, but hysterical: http://www.27bslash6.com/p2p2.html

Love it. I swear, few things have ever made me laugh harder than the spider as payment.

PS: FYWP.

 
 

You did notice who wrote that piece, right?

Well, yes. But, there were way too many actual sentences in that piece so, while the byline may read “Sarah Palin” there is no way she wrote that piece. I would bet the national debt on that.

 
 

I just want a poster-sized pic of that Illuminati chart.

The date is 1995. But the design is early 1970’s at best. And the crazy. I just can’t stop looking at it.

 
 

She wrote it alright:

Self-taught, he’s become America’s professor of common sense[…]”

The blind describing the blind.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

But, just so there’s no confusion, Glenn Beck is “kicking it old school”.

THE NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE!!!!!!!!!

God, is there a bigger douchebag on the face of the planet? David Lee Roth is close, but at least he’s not a conservative.

 
 

“Perfect Pontiff VIII” sounds like a game for the PlayStation 3

 
 

Better yet: Ted Nugent wrote the profile on Palin, and it’s every bit as accurate as her profile of Beck.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Better yet: Ted Nugent wrote the profile on Palin, and it’s every bit as accurate as her profile of Beck.

Oh, whoops. I didn’t read the link and got confused–I thought he wrote Beck’s piece. Still, my statement on The Nuge stands.

 
 

The Nuge is a DOOOOUUUUUCCCCHHHHEEE!!!!!!!!!

 
 

the ability to make accurate predictions is the true test of knowledge

The modern-day genius seems to enjoy cheese & nibbling on toilet-paper rolls.

 
 

I’m gonna try out for Asmodeus Of The Black Pelican.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

while the byline may read “Sarah Palin” there is no way she wrote that piece.

And, you know, this.

Is WordPress all wonky for anyone else?

 
 

“Perfect Pontiff VIII” sounds like a game for the PlayStation 3

Dangit! I was sent to Purgatory for failing to defeat the Evangelical mini-boss!

I *hate* when that happens.

 
 

N__B, http://www.27bslash6.com/p2p2.html is freaking awesome. I’m glad I have an extra pair of pants with me at all times.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

OT, but hysterical: http://www.27bslash6.com/p2p2.html

Hilare. Few things have made me laugh as hard as the spider drawing in lieu of payment.

 
 

Dangit! I was sent to Purgatory for failing to defeat the Evangelical mini-boss!

Did you have the altar boy give you a power up before you entered the scriptorium?

 
 

Is WordPress all wonky for anyone else?

Yes’m. WP has ate at least 6 of my posts. Including this one.

 
Heckuva job, whitey
 

Is there a legend for graph # 2 that can’t be viewed on a blackberry? If so does it indicate what the red bullet points trending upward represent? The productive class going Galt? Hippy punching incidents?

 
 

Going back to the original premise, though my methods are far less entertaining than Gav’s, they’re also easier for the average numbnuts who believes that the answer to recession is to cut spending to understand. Hell, I even cornered Troofus this way. It goes thus:

“Ok, so the economy is in the shitter. Let’s say that we follow your advice and cut spending to address it. Suppose we cut off unemployment and food stamps, because, after all, we don’t want to encourage people who would be working if they could find jobs to continue living. Ok, so, no unemployment and no food stamps. Now, all the unemployed folks who normally would go to Kroger and buy their groceries can’t buy anything. And since unemployment is at 10%, that means Kroger’s sales have dropped by 10%, which means that Kroger will lay off some people who also will no longer be able to buy food, which will cause their sales to drop further. At the same time, Kroger cuts back 10% on their stock – no need to stock food that no one can buy – so every supplier has to lay off some people who will also no longer be able to buy food or anything else, and Kroger’s sales drop a bit further, leading to more layoffs.

Is this getting through? Cutting spending = higher unemployment = less sales for businesses of all types = yet even higher unemployment. Following this prescription to its logical conclusion, soon no one will have a job or any money. And this fixes the economy how?”

Like I said, boring, but effective for those types whose brains run at much lower RPMs.

BTW, Gav, we haven’t seen Dr. Missus Marita in quite some time – how is she doing? Also haven’t seen any Dash updates. Fill us in.

 
 

BTW, Gav, we haven’t seen Dr. Missus Marita in quite some time – how is she doing? Also haven’t seen any Dash updates. Fill us in.

*uncomfortable silence*

So….how bout those Bruins, eh?

 
 

Did I say something wrong? It was a perfectly innocent question I thought.

 
The Goddamn Batman Used To Use Spreadsheets To Chart His Crimefighting Career, But Pretty Soon The Record Keeping Overtook Actual Crimefighting Time, So, You Know, Whatever
 

It’s almost as if projections of the future deficits aren’t taking into account the possibility of there being yet another financial bubble that will prop up economic numbers until the next sucker gets elected president and has to deal with that shit. Almost as if the current resident is trying to eliminate, or at least smooth out, that boom-bust cycle. Crazy idea, I know.

 
 

And those Canadiens! Who could have forseen coming back and taking three straight from the Washington Capitals?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Is WordPress all wonky for anyone else?

Yes’m. WP has ate at least 6 of my posts. Including this one.

Glad to know it’s not just me. And when I tried to re-post stuff that WP ate, it accused me of posting a duplicate comment. Bastards.

So….how bout those Bruins, eh?

Ahem. Well. I don’t know…are they some sort of sports team?

 
 

are they some sort of sports team?

Occasionally.

 
 

And those Canadiens! Who could have forseen coming back and taking three straight from the Washington Capitals?

It was a wow moment for sure. The Habs were swarming! Ovie had no room whatsoever. Although, the last minute was rather exciting.

 
 

As soon as their guy is elected, this interest disappears. As the months pass, the War continues, but somehow Democrats never regain much of an interest in protesting it.

Of course the graph doesn’t show that, as it doesn’t show the raw numbers but only shows specific party-affiliated or non-declaring protesters as a percentage of all protesters. That graph could just as easily show a world in which the number of Democratic anti-war protesters stayed exactly the same, or even grew, but with a huge influx of new protesters claiming to be independent or 3rd party, mayhap magically coming together to shake “SHOW US THE BIRF CERTIFICATE!” and “Socilism is not Constutional!” signs through the power of the grassroots.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

are they some sort of sports team?

Occasionally.

I get it. My family is filled with Chiefs and Royals fans.

 
 

My family is filled with Chiefs and Royals fans.

The Bruins aren’t quite that level of pathetic, but they occasionally teeter in that direction.

 
 

we haven’t seen Dr. Missus Marita in quite some time – how is she doing? Also haven’t seen any Dash updates.

She’s on FaceBook and posts fabulous smiley, happy baby pics all the time. There was even a giggle video not too log ago. OMG SO CUTE.

 
 

The Bruins aren’t quite that level of pathetic, but they occasionally teeter in that direction.

Speaking of Pathetic. I hate Mets fans, but not the Mets.

 
 

It was a wow moment for sure. The Habs were swarming! Ovie had no room whatsoever. Although, the last minute was rather exciting.

Yes. Especially with former Ranger Dominic Moore skating past former Ranger Tom Poti to score the winning goal. I’m sure they’d BOTH rather have been making tee times for today on the Black Course at Bethpage, instead of playing for the Cup…

 
 

I hate Mets fans, but not the Mets.

Go! And darken my towels no more! You are as dead to me!

 
Non-Existent Patricia
 

The modern-day genius seems to enjoy cheese & nibbling on toilet-paper rolls.

That is financial market innovation I can get behind. And come bonus time, maybe we put a wheel in the skinner box!

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

My family is filled with Chiefs and Royals fans.

The Bruins aren’t quite that level of pathetic, but they occasionally teeter in that direction.

I don’t understand why they’re always so pissed off and disappointed. You know what you signed up for!

 
 

Speaking of changes in amount of protests, I’d like to see a graph showing the dramatic increase in Republican anti-government demonstrations after a black guy took office. What shall we infer from that?

 
 

I don’t understand why they’re always so pissed off and disappointed. You know what you signed up for!

I know, right? The beauty of being a Mets/Rangers/Jets/Knicks fan is, you can never be disappointed and only pleasantly surprised!

I’ve been asked several times by a friend who’s a Chiefs booster to come out to KC and be a motivational speaker at the annual homecoming party. You have to learn to dwell in the past and ignore the present.

Much like Republicans.

 
 

b) to acknowledge that the projections given no action were accurate but the projections if action is taken were completly wrong (gee, how convenient, they’re wrong except when it supports your POV)

That is hilarious. Too bad Obama didn’t say the economy would shower us with candy and flowers.

 
 

Go! And darken my towels no more! You are as dead to me!

C’mon, Actor. One week Mets fans are demanding the trade of their best players, then they are penciling themselves into the WS. It’s friggin annoying.

 
 

More Time Mag OT stuff:
Sarah Palin by the N00ge:
I’d be proud to share a moose-barbecue campfire with the Palin family anytime, so long as I can shoot the moose

You and Rich Lowry will both be trying to shoot the moose around the campfire, first to starbursts wins.

(FY, Time, for making me type that drivel rather than copying it in the IE window.)

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I’ve been asked several times by a friend who’s a Chiefs booster to come out to KC and be a motivational speaker at the annual homecoming party.

Awww, that’s actually kind of sad. They just need to learn to be like Royals fans–resigned to their fate.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

More Time Mag OT stuff:

FIRST. SENTENCE!: “If Sarah Palin played a loud, grinding instrument, she would be in my band.”

 
 

One week Mets fans are demanding the trade of their best players, then they are penciling themselves into the WS.

Those are not Mets fans (see above).

Those are anti-Yankee fans. They hold much in common with true Mets fans, its true, specifically their absolute disgust with that limousine-conservative buncha stockbrokers that play in the Bronx and support Republican Presidents, but they are not Mets fans.

But Jose Reyes did test my patience this Spring, to be sure.

 
 

“If Sarah Palin played a loud, grinding instrument, she would be in my band.”

TMI!

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

More Time Mag OT stuff:

Whoa, what about the very first sentence? “If Sarah Palin played a loud, grinding instrument, she would be in my band.”

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

actor212 said,
April 29, 2010 at 17:07

Well, my post WOULD HAVE been before yours, if WordPress hadn’t eated it.

 
 

They just need to learn to be like Royals fans–resigned to their fate.

I think the problem with the NFL is, with the parity and the salary cap, you see so many teams actually make it into the playoff hunt on an annual basis that teams that really are crap figure they can glide by without anyone noticing they are pocketing the money for themselves.

What the NFL ought to do, in addition to the cap, is to insist on a minimum salary level for all teams.

 
 

Well, my post WOULD HAVE been before yours, if WordPress hadn’t eated it.

I was quoting yours!

 
 

You and Rich Lowry will both be trying to shoot the moose around the campfire, first to starbursts wins.

I achieve maximum starbursts when watching others shoot the moose.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I was quoting yours!

OH! I see. It was not showing up for me.

Fuck you, WordPress, with a splintery axe handle.

 
 

Fuck you, WordPress, with a splintery axe handle.

I’d buy that, for a dollar!

 
 

More damning graphs, this time courtesy of Andrew Marcus and the other geniuses at Brainfart’s Big LOLywood:

American’s Progressive-Anarchist Tea Party

 
 

limousine-conservative buncha stockbrokers that play in the Bronx

You mean the team with a functioning front office, correct?

 
 

“If Sarah Palin played a loud, grinding instrument, she would be in my band.”

I believe her voice qualifies.

 
 

Bar Pick Up Lines:

Liberal – “Would you like to come back to my place and blog about this?”*

Moderate Republican – “Would you like to come back to my place and vent?”

Conservative – “Would you like to come back to my mom’s basement and eat Cheetos, little boy?”

Ted Nugent – “Would you like to come back to my trailer and play my loud, grinding instrument?”

* apologies to Twix commercial

 
 

American’s Progressive-Anarchist Tea Party

I couldn’t get passed the first comment:

The left IS the home of anarchy in America and the rest of the world.

Unless you are in New Jersey. Jug handles.

 
 

I think I would feel better about our species if there was an overwhelmingly powerful group directing all this nonsense, manipulating minds through arcane rituals and subliminal messages with near perfect control towards some ultimate purpose.

Unfortunately, I think its more just a bunch of stupid, easily frightened, and greedy people doing what they do.

 
 

Also, I’d just like to point out for no particular reason that I’ve always wanted to be a Stonecutter…

 
 

You mean the team with a functioning front office, correct?

If by “functioning front office” you mean the team that signed Kevin Brown, Javier Vasquez (twice!), Randy Johnson, Kei Igawa, & Carl Pavano, yes.

 
 

Also, I’d just like to point out for no particular reason that I’ve always wanted to be a Stonecutter…

No doubt

 
 

The left IS the home of anarchy in America and the rest of the world.

Big government tax-and-spend nanny-state anarchy? These guys can’t keep their stories straight.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Big government tax-and-spend nanny-state anarchy?

Also, fascism.

 
 

If by “functioning front office” you mean the team that signed Kevin Brown, Javier Vasquez (twice!), Randy Johnson, Kei Igawa, & Carl Pavano has won seven World Series in the last fourteen years, yes.

Fixed. 27.

 
Non-Existent Patricia
 

I couldn’t get passed the first comment:

I especially liked the theory that big government lefties and anarchists are working together to “achieve the same goal….Socialism!”

What?

 
 

If by “functioning front office” you mean the team that has won was handed seven World Series by a marketing department for MLB in the last fourteen years, yes.

Fixed! Last!

 
Non-Existent Patricia
 

I’m apparently a slow typist.

 
 

Also, fascism.

T&U, if you will look out the nearest window you will see four black-suited men approaching. They will be making sure that you are legally in this country. This comment will not self-destruct.

 
 

If by “functioning front office” you mean the team that has won was handed seven World Series by a marketing department for MLB in the last fourteen years, yes.

Paranoid, jealous delusions.

 
 

f by “functioning front office” you mean the team that has won seven World Series in the last fourteen years, yes.

Fixed. 27.

Yeah, You’re a Yankees fan, alright. You’re claiming 27 WS victories in 14 years?

 
The Malfunctioning Glenn Greenwald Robot
 

Elena Kagan Elena Kagan Elena Kagan Elena Kagan Elena Kagan Elena Kagan Elena Kagan Elena Kagan Elena Kagan Elena Kagan Elena Kagan Elena Kagan Elena Kagan Elena Kagan Elena Kagan Elena Kagan Elena Kagan Elena Kagan Elena Kagan Elena Kagan

 
 

Yeah, You’re a Yankees fan, alright. You’re claiming 27 WS victories in 14 years?

No, all the glue sniffing hasn’t hurt my math skill that badly. I just like to mention that number whenever possible.

 
 

Paranoid, jealous delusions.

Right. And Jeffrey Maier never touched that fly ball.

 
 

I just like to mention that number whenever possible.

Congratulations: you’ve identified exactly why everyone hates your guts. Republican-style triumphalism.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

T&U, if you will look out the nearest window you will see four black-suited men approaching. They will be making sure that you are legally in this country. This comment will not self-destruct.

Shit. I don’t have my birth certificate on me. Will the fact that I am white as paper suffice as proof?

 
 

Congratulations: you’ve identified exactly why everyone hates your guts. Republican-style triumphalism.

Ironical, considering this all started because he got on Mets fans’ cases.

 
 

Shit. I don’t have my birth certificate on me. Will the fact that I am white as paper suffice as proof?

You may have to show us your tan lines.

 
 

Shit. I don’t have my birth certificate on me. Will the fact that I am white as paper suffice as proof?

Ohh, absolutely. As you can probably tell, the four black-suited men are turning back to their car. They will be back shortly with your favorite latte.

 
 

Well, except the Yankees did actually triumph. Republican style triumphalism is more like talking about the Cubs 27 WS victories in the past 14 years.

*not a basefall fan.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

*sigh*

The only thing more tedious than an argument about baseball is an argument about the Mets vs. the Yankees.

 
 

Congratulations: you’ve identified exactly why everyone hates your guts.

And that hatred is what keeps me alive. That, and baseball in late summer.

 
 

Tales of an election canvasser, part deux:

Yesterday I spoke with a very nice, likable man whose main issue, he said, was concern about gun rights. I asked him, “what has been done to erode gun rights?” Nothing, he said, it’s what they WANT to do. “Well, what have they introduced as a bill or proposed?” Nothing yet, he says. “If they were planning on strictly curtailing gun rights, wouldn’t they be more likely to do it while they have big majorities in congress?” I ask. “If they’re planning on doing it, they’re running out of time. And would they do something like that right before an election?”

Then this look of puzzlement creeps over his face.

I don’t understand this subgroup of humanity who keep their brains under glass.

 
 

Win or lose, nobody likes an asshole and nobody likes the Yankees. I don’t even give a shit about baseball and I hate the Yankees.

 
 

The only thing more tedious than an argument about baseball is an argument about the Mets vs. the Yankees.

Do you have a graph showing the tediousness? Otherwise, I can’t believe you.

 
 

The only thing more tedious than an argument about baseball is an argument about the Mets vs. the Yankees.

You’re probably a Windoze user, too…

 
 

I don’t understand this subgroup of humanity who keep their brains under glass formaldehyde.

Fixitized for more fixiness.

 
 

And that hatred is what keeps me alive

Good for you. Some of us just want to watch some baseball, without the hatred and dick-waving.

 
 

Shit. I don’t have my birth certificate on me. Will the fact that I am white as paper suffice as proof?

Did I hear…I think it was Stephen Colbert, tho it might have been Jon Stewart…correctly, that if you’re a citizen, the cops have to take you at your word?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

You may have to show us your tan lines.

LOLWUT? Maybe you don’t understand. I wear SPF 3,205 every day.

As you can probably tell, the four black-suited men are turning back to their car. They will be back shortly with your favorite latte.

Awesome! It had better be a double with skim and no sugar, or we’ll have WORDS.

 
 

nobody likes the Yankees.

That’s true. Even the Yankees don’t like Yankees.

 
Non-Existent Patricia
 

I don’t understand this subgroup of humanity who keep their brains under glass.

I think this guy left his out on his lawn, next to the rusted out car and old toilet seat.

 
 

Maybe you don’t understand. I wear SPF 3,205 every day.

That’s central to my point! We have to make sure you’re white all over and not just the parts that can be seen, that you could have thrown some white make up on.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

The only thing more tedious than an argument about baseball is an argument about the Mets vs. the Yankees.

Do you have a graph showing the tediousness? Otherwise, I can’t believe you.

Okay, I apologize. A graph illustrating the tediousness of an argument about the Mets vs. the Yankees is actually more tedious than an argument about the Mets vs. the Yankees.

 
 

Some of us just want to watch some baseball, without the hatred and

I will defend myself against accusations of marketing plots and poor math skills.

 
 

We have to make sure you’re white all over

QED…imagine Karl Rove in a Speedo. There! White all over.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

That’s central to my point! We have to make sure you’re white all over and not just the parts that can be seen, that you could have thrown some white make up on.

Oh, I see. I haven’t been sleeping well, so my suggestive joke interpreter is all screwy.

 
 

that you could have thrown some white make up on.

White-face!

 
 

T&U’s skin goes to a light minty green.

 
 

I will defend myself against accusations of marketing plots and poor math skills.

Hey, you started it!

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

QED…imagine Karl Rove in a Speedo. There! White all over.

Damn you! DAMN YOU STRAIGHT TO HELL!

 
 

I will defend myself

by saying “that hatred is what keeps me alive. ”

Got it.

 
 

QED…imagine Karl Rove in a Speedo. There! White all over.

I dunno…she turned green awfully quick.

 
 

I bet the Powerpoint containing the graph illustrating the tediousness of an argument about the Mets vs. the Yankees is actually more tedious than the graph illustrating the tediousness of an argument about the Mets vs. the Yankees.

 
 

Great, now my brain hurts.

 
 

Hey, you started it!

Well, technically, you started it because I italicized!!

OK enough. Please, I get enough hatred in RL. Don’t need it here at S,N!

 
 

I bet the Powerpoint containing the graph illustrating the tediousness of an argument about the Mets vs. the Yankees is actually more tedious than the graph illustrating the tediousness of an argument about the Mets vs. the Yankees.

It can’t possibly be as tedious as the website that posts that Powerpoint in HTML5 to illustrate the tediousness of a blog that argues about the tediousness of a Powerpoint containing the graph illustrating the tediousness of an argument about the Mets vs. the Yankees is actually more tedious than the graph illustrating the tediousness of an argument about the Mets vs. the Yankees.

.

.

.

What?

 
 

Well, technically, you started it because I italicized!!

AHA! But YOU did not take umbrage at those comments, which mean that YOU admit I WAS RIGHT!

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Better now. Dramamine is my BFF.

OK enough.

Thank the sweet baby Jesus in his manger.

 
 

I just figure the Yankees let other teams win the world series occasionally cause they get tired of dusting the trophy.

 
 

I will defend myself

by saying “that hatred is what keeps me alive. ”

I have to embrace it. Even saying “Keeping in mind that the Yankees has been around longer, historically, we have had the better team” would still infuriate Mets fans because of the simple fact that the Yankees are run better. And again, central to my point, I like the Mets but the fans…are always using my own words against me : )

 
 

they get tired of dusting the trophy

Veiled masturbation ennui.

 
 

Even saying “Keeping in mind that the Yankees has been around longer, historically, we have had the better team” would still infuriate Mets fans because of the simple fact that the Yankees are run better

Nope. This is an illustration of Yankee brain rot. Saying “Keeping in mind that the Yankees has been around longer, historically, we have had the better team” is not infuriating. It’s more or less provable fact. Saying “would still infuriate Mets fans because of the simple fact that the Yankees are run better” is opinion stated as fact. In other words, Republican-style triumphalism. That’s what’s infuriating, and that’s why “Yankees and their fans” is shorthand for “assholes.”

 
 

AHA! But YOU did not take umbrage at those comments, which mean that YOU admit I WAS RIGHT!

This is just a motto I live my entire life by. That and… “Two, please.”

 
 

This is just a motto I live my entire life by.

“Karl Rove in a white Speedo”? What?

 
 

Thanks to Gavin’s lead on this Springmeier cat, The Google is providing me with a most entertaining trip down the rabbit hole:

http://www.eaec.org/expose/FritzSpringmeier1.htm

That above is an article by ANOTHER Christian conspiracist exposing Springmeier for being a whack job.

Woo.

 
 

they get tired of dusting the trophy

Veiled masturbation ennui.

God, and who has to dust all the jars? A-rod’s collection alone would take hours. Lots of self-love going on there is all I’m saying.

 
 

God, and who has to dust all the jars? A-rod’s collection alone would take hours.

I volunteer to dust Kate Hudson.

 
 

That’s what’s infuriating, and that’s why “Yankees and their fans” is shorthand for “assholes.”

If you aren’t aware of the fact that the Yankees are a better run organization. Than that, to use your unrelated political analogy, is Republican-style cognitive dissonance.

And, as a self-admitted asshole, I can say, with confidence, go f__k yourself.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

“Karl Rove in a white Speedo”? What?

Great. I already maxed out my dose.

 
 

This is just a motto I live my entire life by.

“Karl Rove in a white Speedo”? What?

Two plea…[projectile vomiting]

 
 

I volunteer to dust Kate Hudson.

Two, please! Yes, I’m back!

 
 

If you aren’t aware of the fact that the Yankees are a better run organization. Than that, to use your unrelated political analogy, is Republican-style cognitive dissonance.

Learn to fucking read, moron. It’s your idiotic idea that the Yankees being historically better is what infuriates Mets fans rather than your asshole attitude that is the issue. And seeing the historic link between the garbage that owns and runs your team and the Republican party, there is no “unrelated political analogy.”

 
 

The left IS the home of anarchy in America and the rest of the world.

Well, YEAH, ‘cept for all the Libertarians and pro-capitalist anarchists and like that there… the kind of whining assbags who write letters in to ANARCHY Magazine and piss themselves over the fact that laws exist, period, and are why I stopped wasting my pazoors on that rag (other than not being able to find it in Columbia, SC).

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, I get it!

The Yankees are like Man U, and the Mets are like Man City, but not as bad.

 
 

BTW, Gavin –

I am SO STEALING that chart up tippy-top. Too AWESOME.

 
 

Yankees being historically better

In fairness, their chemistry staff is top notch, from Rockefeller University and Estado Tegucigalpa Pharmacy College.

 
 

The Yankees are like Man U, and the Mets are like Man City, but not as bad.

More like Arsenal.

And The Yankees are more like Chelsea, in that they can buy their titles.

 
 

it is plain old trouble that is courted in placing the Gardnerian witches above the OTO on an organizational chart, conspiracy gibberish or no. One might for comparison picture a Department of Defense flow chart that had a box with ‘Marines’ down near the bottom of the page, and one above it saying ‘Coast Guard.’

Or a chart with a box up top labeled “G.I. Joe”.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

More like Arsenal.

Okay, gotcha. I’ve always had a soft spot in my heart for Arsenal (at least, as much as a sports non-fan can have).

And The Yankees are more like Chelsea, in that they can buy their titles.

Well, Man U was like that for a long time, but things have changed in the last couple of years, so you’re right.

 
 

Learn to fucking read, moron.

OK, I will.

 
 

BTW did you know that Steve Jackson is an Illuminati?

The Illuminati: NWO card game totally predicted 9/11, ’cause I saw something on Scribd about it and it must be true and it’s all part of the plot and such like and stuff and it has to be true ’cause it’s on the Internet!

 
 

in that they can buy their titles

Right, cause the players don’t have to actually perform on the field for 162 games. What a tired, argument. Are they not playing by the rules? Maybe if the Wilpons didn’t have their cash tied up in Ponzi schemes they wouldn’t be paying Bobby Bonilla $1mill+ every July 1 from 2011 to 2035 they could pay some decent players.

 
 

I slept in. Should I bother to read the whole thread or should I properly assume that there is no topic anymore aside from DKW’s mom?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Should I bother to read the whole thread or should I properly assume that there is no topic anymore aside from DKW’s mom?

The boys are talking about Mets vs. Yankees, which is only tangentially related to DKW’s mom, in that she blew all the members of both teams.

 
 

Karl Rove.

See? I don’t even have to say the whole thing. Pavlov was right!

 
 

The boys are talking about Mets vs. Yankees, which is only tangentially related to DKW’s mom, in that she blew all the members of both teams.

In the spirit of the above comment. I will be ignoring anything baseball related.

Anyway.

To Socialism!! And Beyond!!

 
 

I always pick the wrong times to stay on-topic.

 
 

We have to make sure you’re white all over and not just the parts that can be seen,

So, anus bleaching then?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

In the spirit of the above comment. I will be ignoring anything baseball related.

Yet again, DKW’s mom brings us all together. She performs a valuable service.

 
 

The pyramid at the top of the thread is clearly incorrect. Rev. Wright is not listed at the top.

Also, socialism is missing from it, too.

 
 

Yet again, DKW’s mom brings us all together

I’m here for the… you know.

 
Non-Existent Patricia
 

Also, socialism is missing from it, too.

Don’t forget Bill Ayers and George Soros.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

So, anus bleaching then?

The idea of Karl Rove in a Speedo may be less disturbing…

 
 

You know, “Red State For Kids” should have at least three letters backwards to be properly child-oriented, but I’m sure someone would turn the first “R” backwards and Ewick & Co. would piss themselves over being Russian or something.

 
 

I volunteer to dust Kate Hudson.

Veiled cocaine reference?

 
 

Don’t forget Bill Ayers and George Soros.

Obviously – Rev. Wright is represented by the “Black Brotherhood” (why do you think they call each other “brutha”, anyway?) and Soros and Ayers by the Red (GET IT?) Brotherood.

What I don’t see is a spot for Masons. SHODDY WORK, ROSCOE

 
 

The Noouuuggge is one reason why I hate knowing rock stars (and actors’) political leanings. I used to like “Double Live Gonzo” but knowing TN is such a racist asshole kind of ruined it for me. Anti-Clinton ravings ruined Charlie Daniels for me. The same with finding out Jackson Browne was a Twoofer…

 
 

:I am SO STEALING that chart up tippy-top. Too AWESOME.

If you like that stuff, you should check out The Secret Teachings of ALL AGES. I have a copyy on my bookshelf; it’s always good for a few lulz. One presumes you will have read Foucoult’s Pendulum.

 
 

*sigh* tag failz R me

 
 

chart needs more time cube

 
 

What I don’t see is a spot for Masons.

They’re off having tea and sandwiches after having built the pyramid. After the union-mandated break they’ll install the eye at top.

 
 

The same with finding out Jackson Browne was a Twoofer

God. Damn. You.

 
 

Thong hung blue
Every bedroom knows one

 
 

Jackson Browne is at the top of my playlist.

 
 

They’re off having tea and sandwiches after having built the pyramid. After the union-mandated break they’ll install the eye at top.

I inherited my grandfather’s Masonic ring. I’m still waiting for the Enlightened Bastards to contact me so I can join the conspiracy.

*bah* they probably gave a Twoofer my spot to fulfill some mandated quota or something. *fume fume*

 
 

The Met fan’s objective in trolling Yankee fans is to get them to lose their shit and start lashing out obscenely not the other way around. I welcome their hatred but they can’t have mine. Really, any tactic when dealing with them is acceptable and need not be grounded in fact or logic as the goal is not to win an argument so much as to see them cover the blog’s walls in their own excrement because you don’t respect their team’s accomplishments. I recommend pouncing on their inevitable use of a first person plural pronoun or its possessive case in lauding their team’s past successes as a sign of pathetic over identification but portraying the Mets as the working classes’ standard bearers while saying rooting for the Yankees is like rooting for Goldman Sachs can be effective as well. It’s easy like beating the Dodgers, Braves or Cubs.

 
 

By their own numbers, the stimulus has made the situation significantly worse

it is just not possible for anybody to be this stupid

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

The same with finding out Jackson Browne was a Twoofer…

Really?

I listen to an musician who is a Truther, and even has a couple of songs referencing it. I dunno, among all the crazy things to believe, that really doesn’t offend me that much.

 
 

The only thing more tedious than an argument about baseball is an argument about the Mets vs. the Yankees Cubs vs. the White Sox.

Fixed.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Lawnguylander said,
April 29, 2010 at 18:45

OMFGSHUTUP.

The only thing more tedious than an argument about baseball is an argument about the Mets vs. the Yankees Cubs vs. the White Sox.

Fixed.

True, if not for the sheer fact that I have to hear that shit much more often.

 
 

If you like that stuff, you should check out The Secret Teachings of ALL AGES. I have a copyy on my bookshelf; it’s always good for a few lulz. One presumes you will have read Foucoult’s Pendulum

What I used to be really into was the paranoid view, before the Twoofers and militia types took over. You used to be able to get some real gems on alt.conspiracy back in the day. Which is also how I figured out the militias were such bad news, before the OKC bombing. Now those things just tend to give me a headache unless they’re really good, ’cause they’re just usually “blah blah Satan blah mind control blah blah believe anything reptoids Alex Jones blah blah” these days.

 
 

I dunno, among all the crazy things to believe, that really doesn’t offend me that much.

I get pretty irritated by truther stuff like that, but then I like communists who sing covers of disco songs.

 
 

http://www.eaec.org/expose/FritzSpringmeier1.htm

Intrestingly, I found out about Project Monarch about the same time Joss Whedon got Dollhouse on the air.

The similarities are just a wee bit creepy…

 
 

Those cum stains in monument park from Yankee fans’ ritual pre-game mass bukkake session are the thermite of pinstriped fascism.

 
 

for tedium nothing beats two NASCAR fans arguing about their favorites…
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I get pretty irritated by truther stuff like that

I tend to skip the songs where he references it, but they’re usually fleeting references, anyway, so meh. He does have a song written from the viewpoint of a right-wing truther in love, which is very interesting.

I like communists who sing covers of disco songs.

BLOCKED! Too bad, because that sounds awesome.

 
 

comes to the economy. This is also a good reason not to let them burn

when, clearly, rational, informed responses to an economic meltdown would be

1. do nothing

2. do nothing and blame democrats

3. kill your sister over the last unopened can of tuna fish in wisconsin

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

for tedium nothing beats two NASCAR fans arguing about their favorites…

There! All fixed!

 
 

Wow that eaec.org is just one great big ball of full tilt bozo.

I mean, it’s no Timecube, but still….

 
 

Hold on one god damn minute. They are claiming that the leak in the Gulf is only 5000 barrels (210,000 gallons) a day? That is only like 1/3 of an olympic pool a day. That seems really low considering how fast it was flowing from the pipe videos. And how much it has spread. Granted, it gets 5000 feet of water column to dilute through on the way to the surface, but still. Does that seem right? My calcs say that would only cover a 1000 ftX1000 ft area to a depth of 1/3 of an inch.

 
 

Incidentally, I am starving. I have already had some food, yet I am still hungry. Clearly food is not the solution.

 
 

OMG alt.conspiracy, back in the day, was my second home.

 
 

BLOCKED! Too bad, because that sounds awesome.

That was Robert Wyatt singing Chic’s “At Last I Am Free” from Nothing Can Stop Us.

 
 

Oh, this is what they were saying

Mr. Hayward, of BP, said the crude spilling from the well was very light, the color and texture of “iced tea” and implied that it would cause less environmental damage than heavier crude, like the type that spilled from the Exxon Valdez into Prince William Sound in 1989. He said in most places it was no more than a micron thick and in the thickest areas was one-tenth of a millimeter, or the width of a hair.

On the other hand, they were saying they needed several inches of thickness to even try burning.

 
 

So, which RWer was the first to use the “how can global warming be real is they’re going to burn the oil slick?” line? My money is on RedState

 
 

That was Robert Wyatt singing Chic’s “At Last I Am Free” from Nothing Can Stop Us.

Is this the same song? It sez it’s from Wanna Buy a Bridge?

 
 

“how can global warming be real is they’re going to burn the oil slick?”

Personally, I’d think (keeping on the paranoid tack) they’d come up with something about how this was caused intentionally to drive up oil prices and force us all to pay more in gas taxes.

But I can see the global warming thing, too, considering that everyone knows if petroleum is burned it releases greenhouse gases, while processing it through the engine of a H2 converts it entirely to magical unicorn farts.

 
 

Right, cause the players don’t have to actually perform on the field for 162 games.

We’ve already established they don’t.

 
 

BTW, Gav, we haven’t seen Dr. Missus Marita in quite some time – how is she doing? Also haven’t seen any Dash updates. Fill us in.

I’ve been trying to keep private things private, despite some bold challenges, but I do really need to set out a basic update soon. I’ll start thinking about how best to do that.

 
 

I volunteer to dust Kate Hudson.

Veiled cocaine reference?

Veiled?

 
 

magical unicorn farts one of Yankee Candle’s less successful scents, along with “Earwax” and “Men’s Room at Stucky’s on I-70 in August”

 
 

It’s easy like beating the Dodgers, Braves or Cubs.

Right. Cuz that powerhouse Toronto is such a hard case…

 
 

magical unicorn farts one of Yankee Candle’s less successful scents, along with “Earwax” and “Men’s Room at Stucky’s on I-70 in August”

Those were all also Bertie Bott’s Jelly Bean flavors.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

So, which RWer was the first to use the “how can global warming be real is they’re going to burn the oil slick?” line? My money is on RedState

Surely not. That’s not even a real argument.

Wait. What am I thinking?

 
 

Surely not. That’s not even a real argument.

so you’re betting on TIDOS Yankee??

 
 

but I do really need to set out a basic update soon

Gav, take it from one who’s been there.

Don’t.

The last thing you need to do is provide a lawyer ammo. It’s none of our business, really. We miss the Dr Mrs, but she ain’t writing this blog for us.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I’ve been trying to keep private things private, despite some bold challenges, but I do really need to set out a basic update soon.

Dude, take your time. Really, you don’t owe us anything.

 
 

Is this the same song?

Yes, and better. Thanks PeeJ.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Surely not. That’s not even a real argument.

so you’re betting on TIDOS Yankee??

That’s a toughie. I’m pretty much split between one of the more obscure RedState bloggers and TIDOS Yankee.

Incidentally, I made a “MAH GREEEYILL” joke yesterday, but quickly realized that nobody would get it. I hate it when that happens.

 
 

but quickly realized that nobody would get it. I hate it when that happens.

Sucks when real life intrudes, don’t it?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Sucks when real life intrudes, don’t it?

Pretty much. Especially on my jokes, since I don’t have many to begin with.

 
 

Especially on my jokes, since I don’t have many to begin with.

You don’t strike me as overly serious. And you’re liberal, which automatically makes you shrill and unserious.

 
 

And you’re liberal, which automatically makes you shrill and unserious

Don’t forget Anarchy-y.

 
 

Shameful Secret: back at the old Miskatonic, I flunked my Ipissimus Exam … twice.

Good thing I’m still a Grande Master (with a minor in Espresso).

 
 

And you’re liberal, which automatically makes you shrill and unserious

Don’t forget Anarchy-y.

not to mention a DFH!!

 
 

not to mention a DFH!!

I can smell the petrulli oil from here.

 
 

You’re forgetting unicorm farts are magical, which is central to mah point.

Whatever that was.

 
 

Roger Clemens throwing at Mike Piazza caused the collapse of Tower 7.

 
 

Curse you Jackson Browne!

 
 

Roger Clemens throwing at Mike Piazza caused the collapse of Tower 7.

Roger Clemens represented the Masons.

Mike Piazza represented the Illuminati.

Tower 7 represented the penis.

 
 

Curse you Jackson Browne!

You mean Jackson Reasonably Suspicious, right?

 
 

And umpires are the Trilateral Commission of baseball.

 
 

And umpires are the Trilateral Commission of baseball.

Arguing balls and strikes will get you executed.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

You don’t strike me as overly serious. And you’re liberal, which automatically makes you shrill and unserious.

Yeah, actually, I’m pretty goofy and maybe a little irreverent when I’m feeling comfortable. I’ve been told that I come off as charming, if in a flighty way. I think that falls in the “unserious” category. And really, the fastest way to become my friend is to laugh at my dumb jokes.

 
 

And really, the fastest way to become my friend is to laugh at my dumb jokes.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

And you’re liberal, which automatically makes you shrill and unserious

Don’t forget Anarchy-y.

not to mention a DFH!!

Don’t forget armpit hairy!

 
 

Tangentially related: Dudes, if you have to warn your new beau not to laugh before you take off your pants during sexytimes, maybe it’s time to toss the leopard-print bikini.

T&U gets my vote for best advice columnist ever!

 
 

And really, the fastest way to become my friend is to laugh at my dumb jokes pay my tab with DKW’s mom.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

And really, the fastest way to become my friend is to laugh at my dumb jokes.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!

Aww, you’re sweet. But “becoming my friend” isn’t a euphemism for “getting in my pants.”

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

T&U gets my vote for best advice columnist ever!

That bitch Ann Landers ain’t got nothing on me.

Wait. Is she dead?

 
 

Aww, you’re sweet. But “becoming my friend” isn’t a euphemism for “getting in my pants.”

Women can be so difficult when conscious.

 
 

But “becoming my friend” isn’t a euphemism for “getting in my pants.”

Dammit!

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Women can be so difficult when conscious.

Dude. I know we joke about triggers around here, but…yeah.

 
 

OT, but wouldn’t this be saver, considering 1000s of gallons of crude oil wouldn’t be pumped into the ocean?

 
 

Women can be so difficult when conscious.

Dude. I know we joke about triggers around here, but…yeah.

Oh, right joking.. Ahhh ahhahahahahahhahaha

 
 

Dude. I know we joke about triggers around here, but…yeah.

Does getting her really drunk first count?

 
 

“becoming my friend” isn’t a euphemism for “getting in my pants.”

Wait, when’d that rule change?

Not that I’ve ever hoped to take advantage of it in a wider sense, hrrrm hrrrm, just checking hrrrrrm.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

But “becoming my friend” isn’t a euphemism for “getting in my pants.”

Dammit!

Sorry to get your hopes up.*

*Yeah, you know.

 
 

Wait, when’d that rule change?

Stupid Alannis Morisette and her stupid “best friend with benefits”. I hate her!

 
 

Does getting her really drunk first count?

Well you did buy the drinks so you are entitled to compensation.

 
 

Speaking of the economy, I’m sure you’ll all be glad to know that the GOP is hard at work on their alternative financial reform proposal:

Also noting the GOP bill’s general similarity to Dodd’s, Matt Yglesias points out that one major difference is “what it does to consumer protection.” “On the one hand, it seemingly weakens the independence of the consumer regulator,” writes Yglesias. “On the other hand, it has the consumer regulator preempt any and all state regulations. This is a helpful reminder that nobody on the right actually gives a damn about federalism except as a tool to advance conservative substantive policy—federal preemption of strong state regulation is always welcome.”

I’m so thrilled to know that the Republican party is still looking out for the people*.

*As defined in Citizens United v. Federal Electoral Commission.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Wait, when’d that rule change?

Not that I’ve ever hoped to take advantage of it in a wider sense, hrrrm hrrrm, just checking hrrrrrm.

Hey, not saying it’s not possible, and in some circumstances, it might work in your favor. But in my experience, being a friend isn’t necessarily a one-way ticket to Pantsremovingville.

 
 

Sorry to get your hopes up.*

Oh, I hope you didn’t think that I was….*tee hee* how funny you would think that! It never even crossed my mind, no sirree!

 
 

Ann Landers is not dead. Her spirit lives on to educate the illmannered bitches of political correctness.

 
 

Well you did buy the drinks so you are entitled to compensation.

I did?

 
 

Well you did buy the drinks so you are entitled to compensation.

I did?

Yes, that’s the story we all agreed on.

 
 

Hey, not saying it’s not possible, and in some circumstances, it might work in your favor. But in my experience, being a friend isn’t necessarily a one-way ticket to Pantsremovingville.

I tried to visit that particular location several times and found big burly droids guarding the entrance who proceeded to thrash me soundly (not in a good way, either) and toss me into oblivion.

So I don’t bother so much now.

 
 

Yes, that’s the story we all agreed on.

*ow,myarm!*

Oh yea! I did!

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Oh, I hope you didn’t think that I was….*tee hee* how funny you would think that! It never even crossed my mind, no sirree!

Pardon me for being presumptuous. I’ll keep your complete and total lack of interest in mind from here on out.

 
 

Even the Yankees better watch out for the Twins this year.

 
 

But in my experience, being a friend isn’t necessarily a one-way ticket to Pantsremovingville.

It’s a restricted community.

 
 

Speaking of the economy, I’m sure you’ll all be glad to know that the GOP is hard at work on their alternative financial reform proposal:

Is anyone else pissed about the whole “GOP will allow debate” thing, or is it just me?

“Allow debate”, christ, like they’re doing the country a fucking favor by doing their jobs. Smug assclowns.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I tried to visit that particular location several times and found big burly droids guarding the entrance who proceeded to thrash me soundly (not in a good way, either) and toss me into oblivion.

Yeeeeeeeah, it can be a dicey situation. Sometimes it does NOT work to your advantage. Given your history, your strategy seems wise.

 
 

Even the Yankees better watch out for the Twins this year.

Agreed, and the Rays. /not snark/really/

 
 

But in my experience, being a friend isn’t necessarily a one-way ticket to Pantsremovingville.

It’s a restricted community.

In at least one case here, gated

*glaring at T&U*

 
 

Is anyone else pissed about the whole “GOP will allow debate” thing, or is it just me?

Yes, it reminds me of this NY Daily News cover.

 
 

“Allow debate”, christ, like they’re doing the country a fucking favor by doing their jobs. Smug assclowns.

As I posted yesterday, we should be encouraging large numbers of liberals to be armed.

Just to remind the Republicans that we allow them to be elected.

 
 

I’ll keep your complete and total lack of interest in mind from here on out.

I wouldn’t say “total”, now…

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

In at least one case here, gated

*glaring at T&U*

You never even thought about it, remember?

 
 

You never even thought about it, remember?

I said I never even thought about becoming your friend first.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Is anyone else pissed about the whole “GOP will allow debate” thing, or is it just me?

No. I hate. They’re fucking bullies, and I don’t understand how the fuck they’re successful at it even when they’re in the minority.

 
 

we should be encouraging large numbers of liberals to be armed.

Just to remind the Republicans that we allow them to be elected.

You forget – that would just prove how violent and dangerous we are, and therefore must be disarmed since laws and regulations are evil but not when applied to liberals.

 
 

hey’re fucking bullies, and I don’t understand how the fuck they’re successful at it even when they’re in the minority.

In no particular order: racism, fear, hate, money.

 
 

I don’t understand how the fuck they’re successful at it even when they’re in the minority.

Minority? How can you say that? As Edroso pointed out, they hold a 41-59 majority!

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

You never even thought about it, remember?

I said I never even thought about becoming your friend first.

Well, your loss. I’ve had many men tell me that I’m smart and that I have a great personality.

 
 

Well, your loss. I’ve had many men tell me that I’m smart and that I have a great personality.

While I’m sure you are and do, I must confess, I’ve said that a lot to much avail.

 
 

I’ve had many men tell me that I’m smart and that I have a great personality.

I didn’t say I didn’t respect you, or your bountiful…assets.

 
 

I’ve said that a lot to much avail.

Yea, usually to the uggos in the clubs on 25.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

In no particular order: racism, fear, hate, money.

Don’t forget breathtaking self-righteousness.

 
 

Yea, usually to the uggos in the clubs on 25.

Point being?

 
 

Yea, usually to the uggos in the clubs on 25.

Point being?

Male bonding.

If they used less hair spray, I might not have to lie.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I’ve said that a lot to much avail.

Yea, usually to the uggos in the clubs on 25.

Hey, now. I think it’s wonderful that Esteev tries to find the beauty in all of us.

 
 

That bitch Ann Landers ain’t got nothing on me.

Wait. Is she dead?

Why would that make a difference?

 
 

While I’m sure you are and do, I must confess, I’ve said that a lot to much avail.

Availed DKW’s MOM reference.

 
 

In no particular order: racism, fear, hate, money.

Don’t forget breathtaking self-righteousness.

And a fanatical devotion to the Pope. Wait. I’ll come in again.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Why would that make a difference?

I was just checking for you! I thought she might make a nice snack.

 
 

Male bonding.

Huh? Maybe ‘uggos’ doesn’t mean what I think it means.

Hey, now. I think it’s wonderful that Esteev tries to find the beauty in all of us.

Equal opportunity isn’t just for employers. Also, I have low self-esteem.

 
 

“Allow debate”, christ, like they’re doing the country a fucking favor by doing their jobs. Smug assclowns.

“Niggas always want credit for some shit they supposed to do.”

The saddest thing about Chris Rock’s routine is that apparently no one got the idea that niggas don’t necessarily have dark skins.

 
 

Is anyone else pissed about the whole “GOP will allow debate” thing, or is it just me?

Seriously. It sounds like the sort of thing one says while staring disdainfully down the end of one’s nose at the unwashed peasantry.

 
 

I was just checking for you! I thought she might make a nice snack.

ick. Having to chew through that wig is off-putting.

 
 

I don’t know if anyone here likes the Daily Show but, last night they had on Ken Blackwell, author of “Blueprint: Obama’s Plan to Subvert the Constitution and Build an Imperial Presidency”. The interview is hilarious.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Also, I have low self-esteem.

Awww. Is there a male version of the Ugly Duckling Syndrome?

 
 

That bitch Ann Landers ain’t got nothing on me.

Wait. Is she dead?

Why would that make a difference?

zrm has been nymjacked by Esteev.

 
 

Awww. Is there a male version of the Ugly Duckling Syndrome?

LoL it’s not that bad! Also, being tall and blonde helps.

 
 

zrm has been nymjacked by Esteev.

…………..

 
 

“Also, I have low self-esteem.”

Who has low self-esteem? I want to kick someone while s/he’s down.

 
 

Is there a male version of the Ugly Duckling Syndrome?

Yes, it’s called “I NEED TO GET LAID!”

 
 

Also, being tall and blonde helps.

Point being?

 
 

Who has low self-esteem? I want to kick someone while s/he’s down.

NOT ME.

Point being?

Some women enjoy tall, blonde men. With liberal ideals. And a car.

 
 

zrm has been nymjacked by Esteev.

Considering zrm, wouldn’t this make more sense?

 
Oregon Beer Snob
 

Baseball sucks.

So do graphs that are used to hide information. So does powerpoint, as we all know. Funny though, there was an article in the NYFT revealing its real purpose. The telling paragraph:

Senior officers say the program does come in handy when the goal is not imparting information, as in briefings for reporters.

Yep, a program ostensibly designed to help communicate is at its best when used to hide information.

 
 

Some women enjoy tall, blonde men. With liberal ideals. And a car.

No really? Gee…I would never have guessed.

Back, you know, when I had blonde hair, of course.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Also, being tall and blonde helps.

I didn’t realize how important height was to some ladies who have sex with dudes until recently! Some of my friends won’t even look at guys who aren’t taller than they are.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Who has low self-esteem? I want to kick someone while s/he’s down.

Oooh, me! ME!

 
 

Some of my friends won’t even look at guys who aren’t taller than they are.

I rest my case.

 
 

I want to kick someone while s/he’s down.

If you promise to wear fuck me boots and a thong, I can suddenly develop low self-esteem.

 
 

Back, you know, when I had blonde hair, of course.

But your smart and have a good personality. So you got that going for you.

Mind if I dance with your date?

 
 

HOLY SHIT, was that a Brandi post actually commenting on something other than troll-feeding?

WOW.

 
 

Mind if I dance with your date?

Sure. It’s DKW’s mom and she shares so why shouldn’t I?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Some of my friends won’t even look at guys who aren’t taller than they are.

I rest my case.

I, personally, do not get it, but I am tall, so guys who are my height or even a little shorter are usually about average height for a man. I wouldn’t date a guy who was a lot shorter than me, though, just because I don’t want to look like a gigantor standing next to him in my heels.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

HOLY SHIT, was that a Brandi post actually commenting on something other than troll-feeding?

WOW.

It’s a Christmas miracle!

 
 

I swear this isn’t me.

 
 

Back, you know, when I had blonde hair, of course.

Green and orange suits you.

 
 

Green and orange suits you.

Last time I let John Boehner recommend a tanning salon.

 
 

“If you promise to wear fuck me boots and a thong, I can suddenly develop low self-esteem.”

See, this is why I like you. You’re easy to please.

As for blonde men…me likee. I’ve always liked ’em. Yes, please. Also, I dig redheaded men…don’t ask why….I couldn’t tell ya.

 
 

Back, you know, when I had blonde hair, of course.

Back hair is a plus with very few women, even if it is blond.

 
 

See, this is why I like you. You’re easy to please

Yea.

You’d be surprised how much trouble that’s caused me over the years.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I swear this isn’t me.

I doubt that anyone has ever tested his theory, actually.

 
 

Funny though, there was an article in the NYFT revealing its real purpose.

According to Charlie Stross, Powerpoint presentations are really a gateway to demonic possession. Which makes sense considering some meetings I’ve endured.

 
 

Back hair is a plus with very few women, even if it is blond.

Lice need homes, too!

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Back hair is a plus with very few women, even if it is blond.

Lice need homes, too!

I like men who are giving, but that’s a little, uh, *too* giving.

 
 

I like men who are giving, but that’s a little, uh, *too* giving.

ELF gave me an award for my anomal rights activism 🙁

 
 

As for blonde men…me likee.

My theory is correct! Chick, occasionally, dig tall blonde guys. Just never the ones I want.

 
 

Chick, occasionally, dig tall blonde guys. Just never the ones I want.

Maybe if you switched to brunette men.

 
 

“My theory is correct! Chick, occasionally, dig tall blonde guys. Just never the ones I want.”

Should I be offended by this?

 
 

You know, I may just give up with caring about politics, social issues, etc..

Things like this make me think there is no hope for us. I welcome our alien invaders.

 
 

Should I be offended by this?

No. I forgot to pluralize “chicks” as well as forgot to strikeout chicks and type Women.

 
 

Maybe if you switched to brunette men.

Hmm… waitjustasecond! You almost got me there.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Things like this make me think there is no hope for us.

I’m immune to that. It’s Karl Rove on Twitter. He says shit like that all the time.

 
 

Hmm… waitjustasecond! You almost got me there.

Yes, you truly ARE blonde….

 
 

I’m immune to that.

How? It’s so damn infuriating. I don’t get paid enough to keep replacing monitors.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

This is cool. I wish there were a way to save your results and share them on the web, though.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

How? It’s so damn infuriating. I don’t get paid enough to keep replacing monitors.

I don’t know. I think it’s because I expect it from Rove? And he really doesn’t have that much power anymore? It’s the same thing with Pat Robertson or Fred Phelps. I have selective outrage fatigue, I guess.

 
 

Yes, you truly ARE blonde….

Yes I ….Heyyy! Waitjustanothersecond! I’m glad N__B isn’t here. He wasn’t too happy with me earlier and now I’m just tossing alley-oop passes.

 
 

I’m glad N__B isn’t here. He wasn’t too happy with me earlier and now I’m just tossing alley-oop passes.

Esteev, we Mets fans have one nuclear weapon that we can throw (but never do) that will level the karma of any Yankee fan anywhere and make them cry.

There is no return fire possible.

 
 

Umm, D-KW? You know mother’s day is coming up?

 
 

No. I forgot to pluralize “chicks” as well as forgot to strikeout chicks and type Women.

Oh, so you weren’t saying you preferred peckers.

 
 

Esteev, we Mets fans have one nuclear weapon that we can throw (but never do) that will level the karma of any Yankee fan anywhere and make them cry.

Hit me. I’m thick headed skinned.

 
 

“Things like this make me think there is no hope for us. I welcome our alien invaders.”

It doesn’t bother me when sociopaths like Rove say stuff like this. What bothers me is that so many people believe him.

 
 

“Umm, D-KW? You know mother’s day is coming up?”

His mom likes big, black dildos? Right? That’s what I heard.

 
 

Hit me. I’m thick skinned.

I can’t.

My daughter goes to Stony Brook. The fallout…well, let’s just say the prevailing winds aren’t blowing in the right direction.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Umm, D-KW? You know mother’s day is coming up?

Hey, that’s a good price! It’s much less than I paid…….for that TV….

 
 

This is cool

T&U, can’t read it.. Within the first paragraph:

…as David Brooks noted…

Oh, so you weren’t saying you preferred peckers.

No, sorry to lead you astray.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Also, you can totally get gadgets that attach to the TV that make your, uh, watching experience, um, more…pleasurable…

 
 

My daughter goes to Stony Brook.

What were we talking about?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

T&U, can’t read it.

Who said anything about reading it? I just took the little test thingy.

I love taking tests that tell me about myself!

 
 

Just kiddin’, actor. C’mon tell me what your newclear option is.

 
 

Just kiddin’, actor. C’mon tell me what your newclear option is.

What? And waste a perfectly good thermonuclear device?

HAH!

 
 

Who said anything about reading it? I just took the little test thingy.

Ohh… I see. Why do I find it surprising to see the Washington Post visited by so many liberals?

 
 

What? And waste a perfectly good thermonuclear device?

HAH!

Fine. Be that way. I’ll send some IAEA investigators to tie you up in red tape for a few months.

 
 

I’ll send some IAEA investigators to tie you up in red tape for a few months.

Want some yellowcake while you wait?

 
 

you’re responsible for the death of kittons? Fuck kittons, I’m only concerned about kittens.
Mother Hitton would like a word with you.

 
 

Want some yellowcake while you wait?

DevilObamafood!!!111111!!

 
 

“I’ll send some IAEA investigators to tie you up in red tape for a few months.”

Leave IKEA out of this. They make inexpensive, poorly-made furniture. And I love ’em.

 
 

The saddest thing about Chris Rock’s routine is that apparently no one got the idea that niggas don’t necessarily have dark skins.

Spot on. I remember watching the routine and thinking it was more or less the way I felt about white trash.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Leave IKEA out of this. They make inexpensive, poorly-made furniture. And I love ‘em.

Any store that has a cafeteria in the middle of it is all right in my book.

 
 

Met fans aren’t fit to fuck pigs.

 
 

Yes they are, Gene. Yes they are.

 
 

“Any store that has a cafeteria in the middle of it is all right in my book.”

Righton.

 
 

Met fans aren’t fit to fuck pigs.

You mean A-Rod’s mom has standards????

 
 

Any store that has a cafeteria in the middle of it is all right in my book.

Their frozen food section is pretty good too, but stay away from the frozen salmon steaks.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

“Any store that has a cafeteria in the middle of it is all right in my book.”

Righton.

I do wish they had more gluten-free offerings, though. I about starved to death during a trip there when I was in Houston.

 
 

You mean A-Rod’s mom has standards????

Yes.

 
 

My daughter goes to Stony Brook.

My old alma-not-mater!

 
 

Oh! That’s right…. hey, T&U,
I don’t know how such a state of circumstances came to pass but last I experienced Ethiopian cuisine for the first* time. I discovered the spongy bread-like enjera. I have no idea why I’m saying this – you surely know all about already. Just want tio share, I guess.

Yeah, weird huh – foodie PeeJ never had Ethiopian before. Could have something to do with my younger years, always hearing about Ethiopian restaurants serving nothing but sand.

 
 

erg, last _night_ I …

 
 

Yeah, weird huh – foodie PeeJ never had Ethiopian before.

That’s not what the bathroom wall says.

 
 

You know, after following Gavin’s “plus also damn” link at the top of the page, I think the mook who made the crappy pyramid is the inspiration for the bank robber on Justified.

Makes the casting of The Shield alumnus Walton Goggins for this character even more impressive than before.

 
 

I discovered the spongy bread-like enjera.

It is a little disconcerting to realize the thing you just blew your nose in is your eating utensil.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I discovered the spongy bread-like enjera.

Is that the flatbread that’s made out of teff? I keep thinking about making it and using it instead of pita, but I never have…I haven’t ever had Ethiopian, either, but I’ve heard it’s very good. Was it tasty?

 
 

Is that the flatbread that’s made out of teff?

You are correct, madam!

 
 

Mother Hitton would like a word with you.

sHE MAKE Mah HEd HUrT

 
 

Yes, it’s more like a crepe than flatbread like pita. I suspect it is made in a crepe pan or on one of those big crepe cookers one sees on the streets in Paris.

The enjera was not quite bland – some flavor but very subdued. The spcy eggplant was delicious. The lamb curry looked like vomit but was tasty.

Definitely worthwhile experimenting with.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

The enjera was not quite bland – some flavor but very subdued.

Teff is interesting. It’s slightly sweet, but I don’t think it has as much flavor as wheat (most flours don’t).

There’s a place in Kansas City that I keep meaning to go to, but I’ve never made it there. Maybe I will just try it at home.

 
 

Jose Serrano is a creep and cretin, but he’s finally on the right side of an issue.

 
 

There’s a place in Kansas City that I keep meaning to go to, but I’ve never made it there. Maybe I will just try it at home.

Go out for the food. It’s worth trying.

 
 

There is a place in Kansas City
That I keep meaning to go to

LYRICS NEED WORK.

 
 

Our calculations don’t include how long you spent on each page—only that you’ve been.

That, and the fact that they don’t acknowledge the existence of, say, Google News and TPM, would explain how I got:

At these sites, the readership is on average 63 percent conservative, 37 percent liberal

Your isolation index is +32, meaning that, on the bell curve of all readers, your news diet is 32 percentage points to the right.

Getting out of the boat has consequences. D=

 
 

LYRICS NEED WORK.

Will they work for punctuation or do they demand a salary?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Go out for the food. It’s worth trying.

I need to find a time to do it (it’s about 2 hours away). I have friends there I need to visit, too.

 
 

Ethiopians have food???

 
 

Will they work for punctuation or do they demand a salary?

Do they have citizenship!?!?!?!

 
 

Ethiopians have food???

Only the rich ones.

 
 

Do they have citizenship!?!?!?!

Lyrics? Citizens of Brigadoon.

 
 

Citizens of Brigadoon

Hmmmmmm, that’s near Ixtapa. I’ll need to see papers.

 
 

As long as I’m on the subject of getting out of the boat, one of Irky’s readershipsheep raised the point that Obama only looks worse on the deficit front due to all the Bush-era off-budget spending chicanery. Naturally, Irky’s other readers are grateful for the correction–and by “grateful,” I mean “howling for that commentor’s blood.”

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

and by “grateful,” I mean “howling for that commentor’s blood.”

Epistemic closure!

 
 

Do they have citizenship!?!?!?!

Certainly! They are citizens of The Commonwealth though some do say they are second class citizens.

 
 

Ethiopians have food???

Its amazing what they can do with UN donations!

 
Oregon Beer Snob
 

This:

TruculentandUnreliable said,

April 29, 2010 at 21:08

Some of my friends won’t even look at guys who aren’t taller than they are.

Makes me sad. Wait, 5’7″ isn’t short, right? RIGHT? Oh. Dammit.

This, however:

vacuumslayer said,

April 29, 2010 at 21:18
Also, I dig redheaded men…don’t ask why….I couldn’t tell ya.

Makes me happy.

Well, not really redheaded anymore, more of “bald, but the tiny bit remaining is red”-headed, so I guess I’m still sad.

At least it’s almost Friday.

Oh, and I tried to take the survey thing at T&U’s link, but all it told me was that my browser’s privacy settings are properly set and it couldn’t tell me shit about what I’d viewed, so there.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Wait, 5?7? isn’t short, right? RIGHT?

I believe that’s about average.

Mr. T&U swears he’s 5’9″ and I’m 6′, but it’s more like he is 5’7″ and I’m 5’10”. (Maaaaaaaaaybeeee 5’11”). He gets pissy if I argue with him about his height, though.

 
 

He gets pissy if I argue with him about his height, though.

Just point out that there’s no argument. He will reasonably agree.

 
 

I really liked having a 6’1″ girlfriend. That is not easy to find again. Outside of the kink potential and not having to bend at all to kiss, it was just awesome to be at eye level.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

He will reasonably agree.

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.

He would argue with me until I proved it, and then he would pout as soon as I did.

 
 

Pouting is the white male of matrimonial fascism.

 
 

Pouting is the white male of matrimonial fascism.

ROFL /dies

 
 

360º trolling:

Caterwauling Canuck “folk singer” Joni Mitchell got just about everybody riled up with that sweet morsel of self-serving insight, but the real shock is not that Mitchell is absolutely correct but that someone finally came out and said it. After decades of carefully manicured deification by Columbia Records, brain-dead rock critics and the slimy elite institution that elevated such barely able snake-oil salesmen as Woody Guthrie and Pete Seeger to celestial heights, it’s high time to flout indoctrination and examine Dylan’s track record as a Grade-A phony.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Pouting is the white male of matrimonial fascism.

Indeed.

Substance McGravitas said,
April 29, 2010 at 23:33

OFFS.

 
 

Sigh, Luntz is being a dick again.

the checkbook tax

Since when have corporations ever paid taxes, fees or penalties? Employees end up paying in the form of lower salaries and benefits. Customers end up paying in the form of higher costs.

And in this case, every account holder will be forced to pay higher fees on their checking account and savings account. That’s you, my friendly reader. Can you say “checkbook tax”? I can, and I think lots of candidates will be saying it come November.

Passing costs along to customers while bringing in enough moolah is how business works. It’s damn sad if anybody outside the 29%ers fall for that crap.

 
 

it was just awesome to be at eye level.
Being the same height lets you borrow each other’s clothes.
TMI?

 
 

… barely able snake-oil salesmen as Woody Guthrie and Pete Seeger…

can’t. stop. laughing.

 
 

oops.

Also,
Being the same height lets you borrow each other’s clothes.
TMI?

Typical. Just won’t let us have _any_ advantage, eh?

 
 

decades of carefully manicured deification by Columbia Records, brain-dead rock critics and the slimy elite institution

Curse those record companies for promoting musicians whose records no-one ever buys and whose concerts no-one ever attends!
Why are they not included in the Illuminati Structure chart?!

 
 

it was just awesome to be at eye level.
Being the same height lets you borrow each other’s clothes.
TMI?

LOL, one of my favorite moment was her coming out of the bedroom in a purple sheer teddy.

Me: You look fantastic!
Her: I do!
Me: So… got one for me?
Her: I’m just going to pretend you didn’t say that.

 
Oregon Beer Snob
 

Why are they not included in the Illuminati Structure chart?!

They’re right there at the top… “Special Councils And Committees”

 
 

Hmm… Creed:

Origin Tallahassee, Florida,
United States
Genres Hard rock, post-grunge
Years active 1994–2004
2009–present
Labels Blue Collar
Sony BMG
Wind-up

And…

Sony BMG Music Entertainment began as the result of a 50–50 joint venture between Sony Music Entertainment (part of Sony) and Bertelsmann Music Group (part of Bertelsmann) completed on March 4, 2004. It is one of the Big Four music companies, and includes ownership and distribution of recording labels such as Arista Records, Columbia Records, Epic Records

 
 

Can you say “checkbook tax”? I can

Yes, Frag, I can say checkbook tax. Can you say lying fuckhead, my friendly GOP sockpuppet? I knew you could.

 
 

Wow Subby, that is one pointless angry rant.

Pretty much every artist of any sort is a plagarist by the terms he set out. I’m guessing the writer wasn’t an artist of any sort, but always thought he could be.

“You know, Van Gogh was a total plagarist.Like no one had ever painted a cafe before…”

 
 

I’m guessing the writer wasn’t an artist of any sort, but always thought he could be.

He appears to have written a book about Rose Maddox, a country belter I like.

 
 

Wow Subby, that is one pointless angry rant.
Breitbart’s original plans were thwarted when he found that someone had already taken the domain ‘www.pointlessangryrant.com’, hence ‘bighollywood’ instead.

 
 

Substance McGravitas said,

April 29, 2010 at 23:33

360º trolling:

Caterwauling Canuck “folk singer” Joni Mitchell got just about everybody riled up with that sweet morsel of self-serving insight, but the real shock is not that Mitchell is absolutely correct but that someone finally came out and said it. After decades of carefully manicured deification by Columbia Records, brain-dead rock critics and the slimy elite institution that elevated such barely able snake-oil salesmen as Woody Guthrie and Pete Seeger to celestial heights, it’s high time to flout indoctrination and examine Dylan’s track record as a Grade-A phony.

And even more better:

once Dylan realized what an advantage his audience’s innate ignorance was, he’s exploited it ever since.

Apparently Dylan fans, unlike the author of this super piecashit, are innately ignorant. These fuckin douchebags will try anything. Haha! Sorry dude, it’s conservatives who are born stupid and go downhill from there. Finally, somebody said it.

 
 

“You know, Van Gogh was a total plagarist.Like no one had ever painted a cafe before…”

And don’t even get me started on that hack Beethoven. Do you realize how many people composed music on a piano before him? His fans are innately ignorant. I say that because I have no idea what I’m talking about, which means THEY must be stupid.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Is it weird that I’m more offended by the Woody Guthrie comment than the post itself?

 
 

Is it weird that I’m more offended by the Woody Guthrie comment than the post itself?

That paragraph’s a model of trolling. Hate this guy? I got MORE!

 
 

Speaking of baseball and musicians, here you go, some nice pictures of Johnny Bench set to some great music.

 
 

Hate this guy? I got MORE!
What are his opinions on punk bitches?

 
 

some nice pictures of Johnny Bench set to some great music.

Johnny Bench SHREDS!

 
 

Bench SHREDS!

10,000% of the USRDA of fiber.

 
 

Is it weird that I’m more offended by the Woody Guthrie comment than the post itself?
Woody Guthrie carried around INFLAMMATORY RHETORIC about KILLING FASCISTS ordinary mainstream politicians.

 
 

Lessee:

Tall? Nope.
Blonde / Redhead? uh-uh.
Brit accent? crap. Worse: Northwest.

Think I’ll go home and give Mrs. Chowder (not mom) a big kiss for her unusual taste in men.

 
 

My level of shock at the idea that leftists like Woodie Guthrie and Bob Dylan are hated by hacks commenters like BreitBlart is such that you could knock me over with a brick.

 
 

INFLAMMATORY RHETORIC

Try cortisone.

 
 

Also Manicured Deification played the Gorge last summer but I thought their show was overrated.

 
 

Think I’ll go home and give Mrs. Chowder (not mom) a big kiss for her unusual excellent taste in men.

Fixed for affirmationy goodness!

 
 

Spot on. I remember watching the routine and thinking it was more or less the way I felt about white trash.

Wikiquote has the bulk of the routine, and I think the problem was his opening line:

“Who’s more racist, black people or white people? It’s black people! You know why? Because we hate black people too!”

leading a bunch of dumbass white people to think “Well then, I really can call a spade a fuckin’ nigger– one of THEM’s doing it too!”

Pere: I haven’t even used the word troll in my last dozen posts (though I doubt you’ll believe me as there’s no “search for comments by user” function here).

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Blonde / Redhead? uh-uh

If it makes you feel any better, I’m usually attracted to guys with dark hair.

And Daniel Craig, who is actually quite short.

 
 

Johnny Bench, that wasn’t so much a sports locker as it was a closet me thinks…

 
 

Fixed for affirmationy goodness!

I DON’T NEED YOUR PITY!

er, I mean

Awww!

 
 

More Big Hollywood brilliance…

Bob Dylan is…

…an industry-manufactured sham, one that very handily diverted attention away from… the lysergic guerilla warfare of the 13th Floor Elevators.

Conservatives everywhere stand in solidarity with lysergic guerilla warriors in their struggle against The Man.

 
 

John Lennon’s Golden Ice Golem Cobbler

All you do is get ice golem and put rosemary and vanilla on top of it before cobblering it. That – putting those seasonings on top – is the secret. Stretch the meat, then put it on top of some azure drake heart. Swirl the meat, then put it on top of some azure drake heart. Put garbanzo (at all grocery stores, make sure to get this garbanzo too) over top of it. Put it in the microwave for 180 seconds. You can add to it whatever you want. Some people put a layer of opulent goat’s milk on it and just eat it like that. I chop up corsu vecchio cheese, cucumber and bocconcini and put them on top, as well as Pacific cod stomach. WARNING: You will never be able to order golden ice golem at a restaurant or bar ever again, as they simply won’t measure up to the ones you can make at home.

 
 

Being the same height lets you borrow each other’s clothes.

My husband would be closer to a 38 AAAAAAA.

Is it weird that I’m more offended by the Woody Guthrie comment than the post itself?

It’s because those do-nothing whiny ass motherfuckers aren’t fit to shine his fucking shoes.

 
Air Chief Marshal Sir Graham Eric "Jock" Stirrup GCB, AFC, FRAeS, RAF
 

Maybe Brandi hasn’t been ripping on troll feeders because there have been no trolls for the troll feeders to feed. Of course, navel gazing and flirting are the new troll feeding here so there’s an opening for her or someone else to taunt the practitioners of those arts.

 
 

Of course, navel gazing and flirting

It IS Spring, Air Chief Marshal…..

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

navel gazing and flirting are the new troll feeding here so there’s an opening for her or someone else to taunt the practitioners of those arts

Nooooooooooo my nym is Morrissey inspired!!!! It’s all I know how to doooooo!!!!!

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

That said, where *have* all the trolls been? Hunkering down for the immigration debate? Memorizing racist talking points? Collecting incandescent light bulbs?

 
 

That said, where *have* all the trolls been?

The RNC spent all the troll money on bondage-themed nightclubs.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

The RNC spent all the troll money on bondage-themed nightclubs.

So all their pay is “tied up”? HA HA HA HA HA HA! I kill myself.

In other news, I just discovered that Jake Tapper blocked me on Twitter! I am offended!

 
Spengler Dampniche
 

What kind of Eurofag uses “plouf” for a fucking sound effect? Next it will be “paf” and “biff.” COMMUNARDS!

 
 

where *have* all the trolls been?

Gone to graveyards every one
When will they ever learn?

 
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon
 

Unfortunately, the Great White Brotherhood was nearly hunted to extinction due to mass panic following Peter Benchley’s novel and the successive film series about a huge rogue brotherhood off the coast of a small New England town eating people, almost as if for sport.

Thankfully, conservation efforts have managed to make the Great White Brotherhood a protected conspiracy in over 117 countries, and now much of the public eye is more focused on the remarkable hunting habit of the South Africa Great White Brotherhood, which have been known to leap meters out of the water to catch seals.

Personally, I was always more interested in the Whale, Basking and Cookiecutter Brotherhoods.

 
 

Insane baseball fandom has a long tradition at S,N! The very tense 2006 NLCS caused Retardo to share his recollections of the ’86 MetsPOND SCUM:

What a MESS: you had mulleted white trash (Lenny Dykstra), a yuppie scumbag straight out of a Bret Easton Ellis novel (Ron Darling), junkies (Dwight Gooden, Darryl Strawberry, Keith Hernandez), the two biggest crybabies on the planet before the advent of Paul O’Neill (Ray Knight, Gary Carter), a bonafide cheater (Howard Johnson), hotheaded jerks (Wally Backman, Kevin Mitchell). Even the resident goofball, usually the most likable character on a baseball team, was for the POND SCUM a charmless nitwit: Roger McDowell, whose schtick was as if he’d distilled the worst of Bill Lee and combined it with the general, canned-laugh-inspiring fatuousness of “TV’s Bloopers and Practical Jokes”.

From the same post, NY sports culture:

The Fans: Last night when St. Louis took a 3-2 lead in the series, I followed the game in a POND SCUM-leaning chat thread. All the mouthy bitches did was whine about the strike zone that supposedly favored the Cardinals. Typical. No credit to the other team. But then the Fans o’ The Mess were just staying true to form, which is why Albert Pujols’s comments after Game 1 (to the effect that the Cardinals beat themselves, and Tom Glavine had little to do with it) were so great: paybacks are hell, aren’t they New Yawkers?

The obnoxious self-absorption of the New York sports press is inextricably linked to the obnoxious self-absorption of NY fans of whichever team (Yankees, Mets, Giants, Jets, Knicks and maybe even the nearby Nets). The NY fan base, especially of the baseball teams, is, like its local press, navel-gazing, self-aggrandizing, self-pitying, elitist and loaded with as much of a sense of entitlement as the average wingnut-welfare recipient (and whaddaya know, these are often the very same people). No fan base on earth, with the possible exception of Dallas Cowboys Nation, is more insufferably possessed of a sense of what they are “owed”. The attitude doesn’t curdle in a vaccuum; there’s a symbiotic relationship between fans’ intolerable attitude and the media’s monomanical bias.

It would have been nice if he he’d a been here today to give us his freshest takes on NY sports. If enough people mention Barry Bonds he could suddenly appear.

 
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon
 

So, HTML’s kind of like Candyman? Except instead of expelling bees and killing people with a meat hook, he just insults the Mets?

 
 

I met Ron Darling once. Charming man.

 
 

Barry Bonds was dealt a bad hand.

 
 

I’ll say this for baseball: every game played moves us that much closer to to the return of a sport that I sorta give a shit about.

 
 

Cricket? Australian-Rules Football? Lumber sports? (Too much beer and late-night ESPN in the 80s and 90s, I know…)

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I’ll say this for baseball: every game played moves us that much closer to to the return of a sport that I sorta give a shit about.

Curling?

 
 

Curling?

I’ll only accept that as a sport if teasing, dying, and shampooing are recognized as well.

 
 

Barry Bonds was dealt a bad hand.

That was because of the national media’s shameless pandering to the Heartland baseball fan. Heartlanders couldn’t accept a proud man like that and when the time was right, baseball’s Village was more than happy to scapegoat Barry Bonds for them.

 
 

Whoops…dyeing.

 
Xecky Gilchrist
 

No, I like the idea of dying being a sport.

It sort of was in the later days of that Mayan ballgame, I gather.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I’ll only accept that as a sport if teasing, dying, and shampooing are recognized as well.

What about flat-ironing? It makes my arms tired…

 
 

What about flat-ironing? It makes my arms tired…

Have you considered using a dry-cleaner and press?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Have you considered using a dry-cleaner and press?

On my head? Ow.

Plus, it sounds drying. I’m not sure any deep conditioner could undo that damage.

 
 

Plus, it sounds drying. I’m not sure any deep conditioner could undo that damage.

Carbon tet does not dry your hair, nor does it wet your hair.

It also ensures that your offspring will be genetically diverse in fascinating ways.

 
 

I’ll say this for baseball: every game played moves us that much closer to to the return of a sport that I sorta give a shit about.

shin kicking?
Ferret legging?
Bog snorkeling?
Hurling?

 
 

Curling?

It’s funny but Curling is my cautionary tale for what can happen when your faux-ironic Hipster BWAHAHAing spins out of control into semi-legitimate interest. See also: The Westminster Dog Show.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

It also ensures that your offspring will be genetically diverse in fascinating ways.

Luckily for me, I have no plan of carrying another human being inside my body for nine months.

 
 

For your iphone: iCurling.

 
 

I have no plan of carrying another human being inside my body for nine months.

Carrying one outside is harder, even if you invest in a colostomy bag.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

It’s funny but Curling is my cautionary tale for what can happen when your faux-ironic Hipster BWAHAHAing spins out of control into semi-legitimate interest. See also: The Westminster Dog Show.

Throw in the weird redneck jewelry channel and that sounds like my house.

 
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon
 

Westminster Dog Show!

Back in the day, every year that dog show would come about and just ruin my week by pre-empting the pro wrestling I liked watching at the time.

Although in retrospect, I suppose there was something slightly subversive in a show about oiled-up men grabbing each other being replaced once a year with a bunch of high-society doofs leading deeply-inbred rat dogs around by a leash.

 
 

I suppose there was something slightly subversive in a show about oiled-up men grabbing each other being replaced once a year with a bunch of high-society doofs leading deeply-inbred rat dogs around by a leash.

Wait, which one is the wrestling?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Back in the day, every year that dog show would come about and just ruin my week by pre-empting the pro wrestling I liked watching at the time.

What? You didn’t have Animal Planet? What kind of third world hellhole did you live in?

 
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon
 

Florida.

And like I said, this was back in the day, when Westminster was on the USA Network, not Animal Planet. That change didn’t happen until, oh, ten years ago, at least.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Florida.

Oooh, close enough.

That change didn’t happen until, oh, ten years ago, at least.

Yeah, the first time I can remember it on Animal Planet was when I was 18 or 19, so that’s about right.

The other shameful thing that I started watching as a joke and now kind of like? Puppy Bowl. I especially like the kitty halftime.

 
 

Yep, Westminster on USA was the shiznit.

They always paired the guy who actually knew stuff about dogs and showing (he’s still there, but I can never remember his name) with some washed-up jock who would blurt out random off-topic he-man bullshit as if it would somehow make a force field of “not gay” around him. He was the real life version of what Fred Willard was going for in Best In Show, though Willard’s version wasn’t nearly batshit or homophobic enough to really nail it.

Ah, youth.

Still, we got Tamron Hall in the also-ran spot this year, which, um, mm-hmm *rawr*.

 
 

the Daily Show … had on Ken Blackwell, author of “Blueprint: Obama’s Plan to Subvert the Constitution and Build an Imperial Presidency”. The interview is hilarious.

Damn.

Blackwell versus Stewart: it’s like watching Trig Palin attempt to strike out Babe Ruth* at T-Ball.

Obviously teh wingnuts are only going on TDS for the camwhore-points, because they sure as hell aren’t covering themselves in glory. The audience gasp/LOL when he says Obama is more like Stalin than Bush was says it all.

Stewart gave the right a protip it really needs right now: “Don’t confuse tyranny with losing, because you’ll drive yourselves crazy.” Unfortunately I’m pretty sure the Crazy Train left that station a long time ago.

Funny how all the menace to Real America from Obama seems to fall under the “He’s GOING To…” category. Also funny that a known workaholic still isn’t doing bugger-all to enact any of the 79,053,462 conspiracies that make up this sinister plot, even after more then a year in power, despite the possible prospect of losing his House majority & a signifigant advantage in the Senate.

Teabaggers must be on some seriously awesome drugs.

—————–
* About as close to Jockspeak as I am ever going to get.

 
 

this post was neat neat neat.

 
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon
 

Okay, Jesus Fuckbum Porcupine Christ.

It is pleasant to know these people have such a low estimation of their own God. Although I suppose a person that can so deeply lie to themselves isn’t going to have the epiphany moment where God tells them “bullshit!” when they start lying to him.

 
 

http://pajamasmedia.com/eddriscoll/2010/04/29/obamas-kinsley-esque-gaffe-youve-made-enough-money/

Latest from PJTV; Obama points out the self-evident fact that “I do think there’s a point when you’ve made enough money” and drives the John Birchers fucking bananas. Best thing from the comments section;

Not only does this man need a lesson in economic systems that work and how they work, but someone aught to tell him that the fruits of labor belong to the wroker toherwise it is called slavery. I believe that has been outlawed by the 13th amendment.

Course, on average, the fruits of labor don’t go to the worker in a laissez-faire economy like ours – the worker spends most of his time making more money for the rich guy who, however he became rich, didn’t usually get there on merit alone. Don’t tell that to the economics history expert, though.

 
 

Funny how all the menace to Real America from Obama seems to fall under the “He’s GOING To…” category.

As opposed to George W. Bush, who wasn’t “going to” but very much “did” destroy an entire country at the cost of a million lives and counting for no justifiable reason at all.

 
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon
 

Oh yes, tell me all about how the poor executive class isn’t being paid sufficiently for its “labor”.

Then let me ask when we can expect one of you fuckers plan to go on “strike” so we can set dogs on you and have the cops beat you half to death with clubs like they did in the grand old days of management-worker relationships.

 
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon
 

Oh, or lock the doors on your office so you can’t leave early. Even in the event of fire. And you have to throw yourself out the window just so you can plummet to your death rather than burn alive.

Y’know, like they did/do to the actual workforce when there’s no one to watch out for that kind of thing.

 
 

Y’know, like they did/do to the actual workforce when there’s no one to watch out for that kind of thing.

I know they did this during the Gilded Age on a semi-permanent basis. Today, so far as I know, it’s mostly illegal firing or union-busting (with the understanding that even if the company is sued and loses, their profits remain so huge that the fine they’ll be charged is no more than a slap on the wrist, and they can continue with impunity).

What I’m curious to know is to what extent violent, Gilded Age tactics are used against illegal immigrants – the people who have no recourse at all against it. Or is the mere threat of deportation enough to keep them in line, no matter how shitty the working conditions?

 
 

I’ll say this for baseball: every game played moves us that much closer to to the return of a sport that I sorta give a shit about.

The World Cup?

 
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon
 

What I’m curious to know is to what extent violent, Gilded Age tactics are used against illegal immigrants – the people who have no recourse at all against it. Or is the mere threat of deportation enough to keep them in line, no matter how shitty the working conditions?

Well, I can tell you that the routine simply was imported to developing nations such as China, India and so on, where shockingly similar behavior and consequences arise. There was a documentary on the Garment District in New York that goes over this.

 
 

Latest from PJTV; Obama points out the self-evident fact that “I do think there’s a point when you’ve made enough money” and drives the John Birchers fucking bananas. Best thing from the comments section;

Fuck me, I see that halfwit Ed Morrissey is still floating around, christ, give it up man, its embarrassing…..

 
 

I’m beginning to think that God is lying to Republicans. And I’m okay with that.

 
 

Oh, or lock the doors on your office so you can’t leave early. Even in the event of fire. And you have to throw yourself out the window just so you can plummet to your death rather than burn alive.

Yes, it’s tough to be a CEO. By the time you’ve bought a couple of dozen suits and a Rolls or two from the company store, there’s hardly enough left for another place in the Hamptons. Oh, sixteen tons (of $100 bills) and whattya get?

I’m beginning to think that God is lying to Republicans. And I’m okay with that.

I don’t think that’s God talking to them.

 
 

They really do have a point on that last graph. You all did pretty much abandon every “deeply held belief” you all had during the Bush administration about 10 minutes into the Obama administration.

I know the left hates to hear that, but you guys are pretty clearly full of shit. You don’t really oppose wars. You don’t really believe in “reigning in executive power” and you don’t really believe in holding the government accountable. You believe in hating Republicans and very little else.

 
 

Yes, it’s tough to be a CEO

Some people say a man is born to work,
Executive man is born to shirk,
Born to shirk and born to steal
Everything he can from the commonweal.

You fire sixteen proles and what do you get?
Another day older with more money to bet.
St. Peter don’t you call me ’cause I can’t go
I owe my soul to the red dude below.

 
 

Does getting her really drunk first count?

Well you did buy the drinks so you are entitled to compensation.

Hm, by that logic don’t you owe the bartender oral for splashing two or three shots into that “girly drink” on ladies night that was more than she could handle?

PS: Can I watch?

 
Just Alison, back from the semi-dead
 

Witches are not good solo sailors.

I’ve got that album!

Mother Hitton would like a word with you

And that’s one of my favourite writers! Smut, were we separated at birth?

 
 

Just one quibble on that chart: I don’t see the Kenyan Birth Certificate Forgers listed anywhere.

 
 

Smut, were we separated at birth?

Dare I suggest a televised search for matching scars?

 
 

I don’t see the Kenyan Birth Certificate Forgers listed anywhere.

They’re unilluminated…except possibly by disco-style black lights.

 
 

Dare I suggest a televised search for matching scars?
Could trigger people. I would hate to set tigris off with the sympathy cutting.

 
 

Could trigger people.

The radio version won’t be nearly as much fun.

 
 

Fine, if N_B wants to play ‘Pairs’ with scar tissue then who am I to judge?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

You all did pretty much abandon every “deeply held belief” you all had during the Bush administration about 10 minutes into the Obama administration.

Wait, at whom is this directed?* Because it clearly doesn’t reflect the reality in which I live.*

*Dangling prepositions are something up with which I will not put today.

 
 

I know the left hates to hear that, but you guys are pretty clearly full of shit. You don’t really oppose wars. You don’t really believe in “reigning in executive power” and you don’t really believe in holding the government accountable. You believe in hating Republicans and very little else.

LMAO, I think you’ll find Democrats have a firmer grasp of nuance than you appear to.

No, the left doesn’t oppose wars for the sake of opposing wars; it opposes useless and unnecessary wars, in part because they detract from the ones that need to be fought. Afghanistan was the safe haven from which the 9/11 attacks were planned, whereas Iraq didn’t have the faintest ties to AQ (nor any working WMDs, for that matter). Are you capable of seeing the difference?

“Reining in executive power;” Obama has bent over backwards making nice with Congress in a way his predecessor never came close to, particularly during the health care debate. When I see Obama dissecting laws with signing statements saying “this is what I think this law means, or should mean, or am going to pretend it means,” I’ll be sure to start a fuss about abusive executive power. So far, if anything, he’s run too far in the other direction.

“Holding the government accountable?” For what? For actually spending our tax money on us for a change instead of the right’s latest pet war?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Oooh, also, too, y’all! I heard Boehner claim this morning that at least 100 congressional seats could go over to the Republicans this November. I laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaffed and laffed!

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Question: when did “the Left” become shorthand for “Democrats”? Because they’re not the same thing. Not at all.

 
 

when did “the Left” become shorthand for “Democrats”?

When the USSR folded and the Repubs took all of their anti-commie crap and started applying it solely domestically (whereas they had previously only applied it domestically on alternate Tuesdays and Wednesdays).

 
 

So Obama’s quote:

at some point you’ve made enough money.

Is being taken out of context. And Bill Ayers has something to do with it

I was kind h_i when I wrote that…But, what do you think about his quote?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

When the USSR folded and the Repubs took all of their anti-commie crap and started applying it solely domestically

I see. Sometimes I think Republicans are much smarter than we realize.

As someone two steps away from being a socialist, I would appreciate it if people would stop conflating the two. It’s offensive, and it helps push that Overton window thingy along its merry little way to the right.

 
 

As someone two steps away from being a socialis

You can’t see it, but I’m pointing, I’m screaming, and I’ve got my tongue curled back… a la Donald Sutherland at the end of Invasion of the Body Snatchers, take 2.

 
 

http://news.yahoo.com/s/mcclatchy/3491615

I really can’t describe how sickening it is that Bush’s reputation might be improving over time. About the only thing that could “improve” my image of him would be his coming out and admitting that he didn’t have a clue what was going on the entire time and Cheney was the one in charge.

 
 

I’ll be sure to start a fuss about abusive executive power. e

Chris, while I agree with you for the most part, Obama has perpetuated some of the Bush-era civil liberty malfeasances. And, he’s even went further with some – namely allowing the president to issue assassination orders on US citizens. There is no more rule of law in this country. If someone is picked up for terrusty actions they are more or less gone for good.

You are 100% correct that we should spend tax dollars on citizens. I also enjoyed the phrase “the right’s latest pet war”.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

But, what do you think about his quote?

I don’t have a problem with it. It may not have been politically awesome, but it’s been so long that anyone has taken anything resembling a populist stance that I’m happy he said it.

You can’t see it, but I’m pointing, I’m screaming, and I’ve got my tongue curled back… a la Donald Sutherland at the end of Invasion of the Body Snatchers, take 2.

*whimper* I find that to be one of the most terrifying movie scenes Of All Time.

 
 

Do you realize how many people composed music on a piano before him?

Ogg stoled rock-banging from Ig. Ig not happy. Ig make music with yellow water from him body.

 
 

I really can’t describe how sickening it is that Bush’s reputation might be improving over time.

Chris, the only reason why Bush’s rep is improving is because FOX Noise is as large as it is. While ratings mean nothing to me because all TV news is worthless, there are a lot of people in this country who would love GWB even if he came to their house, punched them in the nose, defecated on their favorite couch, rubbed their nose in it, put a baseball bat through every teevee in the house but then had a beer with them.

There is no more debate in this country. It is all emotion and fear.

 
 

socialis

Is that the ED medication for *everyone*?

 
 

I find that to be one of the most terrifying movie scenes Of All Time.

More so than the dog with the man’s head? More so than Jar-Jar Binks?

 
 

I find that to be one of the most terrifying movie scenes Of All Time.

Sutherland is pretty repulsive, yes.

 
 

Is that the ED medication for *everyone*?

We’re going to need more claw-foot tubs.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Obama has perpetuated some of the Bush-era civil liberty malfeasances. And, he’s even went further with some – namely allowing the president to issue assassination orders on US citizens.

Um, yeah. Power doesn’t usually retract easily, but I was hoping it would with Obama. Quite frankly, I thought we got someone into office who we could trust regarding Constitutional/civil rights issues, and I am damn disappointed in (and somewhat afraid of) the way things have transpired so far.

 
 

Power doesn’t usually retract easily

We need to dump the cold water of democracy over Obama’s genitals.

(Veiled congressional voting reference.)

 
 

We’re going to need more claw-foot tubs.

Fortunately, we can shift production over from the tractor factories.

 
 

we can shift production over from the tractor factories.

But comrade! The five-year plan for tractor production! The goal will not be met!

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

More so than the dog with the man’s head? More so than Jar-Jar Binks?

Yes. Pretty much the only thing scarier is that scene in the director’s cut of The Exorcist when she’s doing that weird back-crawl down the stairs. Oh, and maybe that scene in Jurassic Park where the velociraptors follow those kids into the kitchen. Oh, also? That part in Beauty and the Beast where Gaston stabs the Beast and you think he’s dead. I have to cover my eyes.

Sutherland is pretty repulsive, yes.

His hair is just *so bad*! And that mustache?

 
 

when did “the Left” become shorthand for “Democrats”?

As far as I can tell, shortly after Norbizness abandoned the moniker….

 
 

You don’t really oppose wars. You don’t really believe in “reigning in executive power” and you don’t really believe in holding the government accountable. You believe in hating Republicans and very little else.

It’s just a bonus. I mean, our choices were retards or Republicans and at least most retards can be trained to work.

We oppose wars of choice, like Iraq, and one thing you’ll find in crossing Blogtopia (Skippy) is that there is and was an awful lot of anger at Obama for committing more troops there.

Unlike Bush, however, we will cut him a little slack and wait and see if he can keep to his goals on Iraq.

Very few Democrats or liberals opposed Afghanistan. Hell, I opposed every war since Vietnam and even I saw a justification for invading ‘Ghan! Again, we stand on principle, which is not the little teeter-totter you and Republicans think it is.

We believe in reigning in executive power and I defy you to point to one aspect where Obama has exceeded any precedent set by any other President in a time of either war or economic catastrophe, or more important, both? Even Lincoln abandoned habeas corpus. Even FDR interred people.

As for holding government accountable, Clinton ran a mostly transparent administration. Obama has run a mostly transparent administration. Bush did not.

We correctly held Bush to a higher standard than he was willing to accept. We have not had to in the case of Obama.

Next whine?

 
 

But comrade! The five-year plan for tractor production! The goal will not be met!

We invade Kinada. They are making tractors at twice our rate.

 
 

That part in Beauty and the Beast where Gaston stabs the Beast and you think he’s dead.

Cocteau was all about the shock value.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

As far as I can tell, shortly after Norbizness abandoned the moniker….

Wow, I had no idea that an obscure-ish, defunct blogger had so much power! Imagine what I could do…

 
 

Wow, I had no idea that an obscure-ish, defunct blogger had so much power!

*glaring*

Forgive her, Norbie, for she knows not what she says.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Cocteau was all about the shock value.

Who’s that? That the guy who voiced the French candlestick?

Forgive her, Norbie, for she knows not what she says.

Oh, man…it was totally a joke. I’m in trouble now, aren’t I?

 
 

(Veiled congressional voting reference.)

That is disgusting.

 
 

That the guy who voiced the French candlestick?

Oh, you meant the cartoon version? I was talking about the original French version…you know, the adult version.

 
 

I’m in trouble now, aren’t I?

I can get you off, but you’ll have to look at my etchings.¹
.
.
.
.
.
.
¹ totally aware of the innuendo involved, right up to and including the congressional voting reference.

 
 

Maybe Norbizness will show up with a Simpsons reference fresh as a fifteen-year-old rerun.

 
 

I’m just wondering if I can drive to LA in time to get my car washed this weekend?

 
 

I’m just wondering if I can drive to LA in time to get my car washed this weekend?

HOT DAMN! Who is that rebel?!

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Oh, you meant the cartoon version? I was talking about the original French version…you know, the adult version.

Of course I was! There’s no Gaston in Cocteau’s version, however much Disney may have ripped him off.

 
 

Who is that rebel?!

With my luck, I’d get Jabba the Hut instead of Leia the Slutt

 
 

With my luck,

Well stop ignoring those ROs and someday things will get better!

 
 

There’s no Gaston in Cocteau’s version, however much Disney may have ripped him off.

Ah, but there is! Sort of. It’s the brother, Ludovic. Since, you know, Disney…couldn’t exactly have incest as theme in a movie, they rewrote the character.

 
 

Well stop ignoring those ROs and someday things will get better!

Those are TROs and most of them expired. T! As in “temporary”!

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I can get you off, but you’ll have to look at my etchings

Wow, those etchings must be…special.

Sort of. It’s the brother, Ludovic. Since, you know, Disney…couldn’t exactly have incest as theme in a movie, they rewrote the character.

Well, yeah, but there’s not an actual dude in the movie named Gaston.

Why am I even arguing about this?

 
 

Well, yeah, but there’s not an actual dude in the movie named Gaston.

Look, I got a B+ in my movie studies class. Who you going to believe, some cheese-eating French fag Cahiers du Cinema-scribbling surrender monkey, or me, a guy with a blackboard blog?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Look, I got a B+ in my movie studies class.

Oh, please. I got As and Bs in my film studies classes until I dropped out of the program 3 semesters in because I realized I was insane to try to double-major and I didn’t want to write fucking film scripts anyway.

 
 

Course, on average, the fruits of labor don’t go to the worker in a laissez-faire economy like ours – the worker spends most of his time making more money for the rich guy who, however he became rich, didn’t usually get there on merit alone.

Rather than “not usually” I would say “not ever,” and the honest ones admit it up front. Frankly, the less likely a given exec is to admit the role luck played over raw ability, the more a role it played. The ones most insistent on their own worth are the most worthless.

Dare I suggest a televised search for matching scars?
Could trigger people. I would hate to set tigris off with the sympathy cutting.

As if I were sympathetic.

socialis

Is that the ED medication for *everyone*?

If you are still seizing the means of production after 4 hours, call your doctor.

 
 

Those are TROs and most of them expired. T! As in “temporary”!

LuLz! well wait this time!

If you are still seizing the means of production after 4 hours, call your doctor.

Awesome.

 
 

I didn’t want to write fucking film scripts anyway

Fucking films have scripts?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Fucking films have scripts?

Some of the classy ones do! I plan on writing scripts for my steampunk pr0n company…

 
 

I didn’t want to write fucking film scripts anyway

Bwahchickaboom.

 
 

Fucking films have scripts?

Have I shown you my sketchings?

 
 

Do you have any Etch-a-Sketchings?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Do you have any Etch-a-Sketchings?

All those boxes on top of each other, intersecting? So hot!

 
 

Do you have any Etch-a-Sketchings?

OK, who told?

 
 

I heard you lost your entire art collection in an earthquake.

 
 

I heard you lost your entire art collection in an earthquake.

Damned insurance adjuster…

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Damned insurance adjuster…

Insurance adjusters are the cockblockers of etchings-based seduction…

 
 

Insurance adjusters are the cockblockers of etchings-based seduction…

And they always insist on condoms! What about my right to bare arms, even the short one????

 
 

All those boxes on top of each other, intersecting? So hot!

I bet you stop to look at crashed UPS trucks, too. And warehouses after earthquakes. Sick!

But I am curious…

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

And they always insist on condoms! What about my right to bare arms, even the short one????

That’s what you get for doing DKW’s mom.

 
 

But I am curious…

Rule 34

 
 

Course, on average, the fruits of labor don’t go to the worker in a laissez-faire economy like ours – the worker spends most of his time making more money for the rich guy who, however he became rich, didn’t usually get there on merit alone.

Gosh, I seem to recall a book written about that very point some years ago… can’t remember the writer though – Mart? Mark? something like that… anyway, I wonder whatever became of the points he made…

(BTW this thread is STILL GOING? YIKES.)

 
 

That’s what you get for doing DKW’s mom.

What? She asked nicely! I figured she was clean!

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I bet you stop to look at crashed UPS trucks, too. And warehouses after earthquakes. Sick!

The post office is the best…boxes mixing it up with letters, alongside magazines…putting them through slots…so wrong, but so, so right!

 
 

boxes mixing it up with letters, alongside magazines…putting them through slots

Bet you love those long hard stiff cardboard tubes they ship posters in.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

What? She asked nicely! I figured she was clean!

I’m very sorry to tell you this, but all the antibiotics in the world can’t do anything for you now. Is there someone I should contact to collect your remains? (I totally could have been a doctor. My bedside manner is awesome.)

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Bet you love those long hard stiff cardboard tubes they ship posters in.

Especially when they put them into PO boxes………

 
 

(I totally could have been a doctor. My bedside manner is awesome.)

If, by “awesome”, you mean “imitating a bastard coated bastard with bastard filling like Gregory House or Percival Cox” I agree.

 
 

Especially when they put them into PO boxes………

If the box is especially tight, sometimes they have to screw it in.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

If, by “awesome”, you mean “imitating a bastard coated bastard with bastard filling like Gregory House or Percival Cox” I agree.

It’s my dream that one day, it won’t even be an imitation…

Speaking of boxes, when did everyone stop thinking?

Motherfucker. I was hoping that Missouri wouldn’t be on that list.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

If the box is especially tight, sometimes they have to screw it in.

Better than folding it in half, I suppose.

 
 

It’s my dream that one day, it won’t even be an imitation…

Time to revive the awful-music competition by quoting Yes:

See yourself
You are the steps you take
You and you – and that’s the only way

Shake shake yourself
You’re every move you make
So the story goes

 
 

It’s my dream that one day, it won’t even be an imitation…

I can train you, my young apprentice.

 
 

Better than folding it in half, I suppose.

I’ve had to do that. Not good. This is why I don’t like short women.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

It’s my dream that one day, it won’t even be an imitation…

I can train you, my young apprentice.

Hell, I’d settle for not feeling guilty any time I’m less than pleasant to people I don’t like.

 
 

I was hoping that Missouri wouldn’t be on that list.

It is shocking what one Democrat President can do to a country, for the worse?

 
 

I’d settle for not feeling guilty any time I’m less than pleasant to people I don’t like.

I had that last morsel of conscience surgically removed.

 
 

I had that last morsel of conscience surgically removed.

You could have let ZRM eat it.

 
 

You could have let ZRM eat it.

This is more a heart thing than a brain thing. Are you suggesting he’s going vegan-ish?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I’d settle for not feeling guilty any time I’m less than pleasant to people I don’t like.

I had that last morsel of conscience surgically removed.

Comparing my guilt complex to the average person’s conscience is like saying Dick Cheney isn’t very nice.

 
 

The way to a man’s brain is through his heart and entrails.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I was hoping that Missouri wouldn’t be on that list.

It is shocking what one Democrat President can do to a country, for the worse?

(Don’t forget blackity black BLACK BLACK!)

Oh, I’m sorry. I’m navel-gazing again.

 
 

The way to a man’s brain is through his heart and entrails.

Y’know, there’s a shortcut thru the nostrils. The Egyptians knew that. Why are zombies so dumb?

 
 

“I know the left hates to hear that, but you guys are pretty clearly full of shit. You don’t really oppose wars. You don’t really believe in “reigning in executive power” and you don’t really believe in holding the government accountable. You believe in hating Republicans and very little else.”

So are you angry and feeling let down and forgotten? Did you have high ideals for yourself that you feel your compatriots among the left aren’t living up to? Because I’m not really getting your gripe.

Many lefties like myself hate all wars and true to our leftie principles, find all wars to be an extension of imperialist power.

As for myself, having been for the last twenty-five years a member of the poor white class, I can tell you that I charlatans among the right have attempted to lure me into their camp more than once, usually through religion which oftentimes, is a beacon of hope in a world of hopelessness.

But unlike you, I didn’t take the bait. See, being poor and white and AWARE means that I know that your funders; you know — the people who pay your wingnut bills, who fund the churches and the charities, who have a stake in my poverty and helplessness have no interest in my general welfare.

So you know what? Just fuck the fuck off.

I spent yesterday climbing around in my garage looking for something to pawn or sell and also emptied out my collected change for a total cache of thirty bucks– to live on until I don’t when.

Why? Because a) I spent nearly twenty fucking years raising my kids alone and being told the state couldn’t help me at all and when they did, they (thanks to Ronnie) took every fucking dime of my kids’ child support monies to “pay back the state” which has thrown me into a permanent state of poverty that I can’t seem to get out of. Yeah, punish my kids and keep us all in poverty longer, that’s a fucking solution. b) because I have a non-work related major knee injury that will require surgery two months from now and will require over nine months of rehabilitation. Try to get a job on that! Tell me how that’s done. I’m a contractor by trade and told to stay out of my line of work, well isn’t that just dandy. What’s all this bullshit about Republicans wanting to help small business? I don’t know where the fuck they were when I started my business, I really don’t.

Complain about Democrats you fools, but don’t go and suck the dick of the rich man after you just used that mouth to tell me that you are on my side. By the way, last I looked (just recently at the SBA site because I have hope like a damn fool), its the Obama administration that is pumping funds into new small business programs.

Rotors, an old starter, a catalytic converter from my old Volvo, some brake pads, what else? The pennies I’ve saved for a year. Then what when that’s all gone? But I know, I’m a lazy stupid bitch and I deserve my suffering unlike the corporate posers living on mama’s fucking dime and driving their Mercedes to Harvard Square to hear a lecture about Helping the Less Fortunate or some fucking thing.

I have student loans for an education that I had to stop midstream because you right wing assholes couldn’t find it in yourselves to vote for affordable childcare or meaningful credits or grants for parents with kids, because of course, its their fucking fault they had kids; those whorey bitches.

Fuck you and all you think you know and understand about the world. Either you are a deluded idiot slave to the wingnut propaganda or just another overfed ass like half of the people I’ve known who rationalize that poverty is justified, but the boys at Goldman Sachs, Bank of America and the rest, well they suffer don’t they? And a woman on welfare? God forbid if she gets stupid one month and makes a mistake on her re-cert and costs the state $50 bucks, she’ll be hung high, published in the paper, hauled before court and made to pay it back plus fines and marked a felon for life. Thank god it never happened to me, but I know some to whom it has.

But we can’t be bothered to find those who participated in frauding millions of Americans into signing worthless mortgages and equity loans.

And also while us poor folks are busy causing our own misery, we’re also causing the misery of countless assholes who are being deprived of buying another fucking island because that three cents on a dollar that goes to human services (could be slightly more or less these days I don’t know – we’re talking pennies asshole!) just pinches their fucking lives so much that of course, kids should go hungry and of course, I shouldn’t be able to collect disability for an injury that isn’t work related but keeps me from working for (what now its nine months).

You hit a nerve today. You really did.

 
 

I made a really long post and it got eaten and it encapsulated all my anger. Will someone please go and find it?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I made a really long post and it got eaten and it encapsulated all my anger. Will someone please go and find it?

Oooh, I hate that! You can never re-capture that rage!

You could comment about this instead, which I cannot stand to contemplate too long lest my head go all explodey.

 
 

You could comment about this instead

Looks like it’s becoming ArizoNO.

 
 

It is shocking what one Democrat President can do to a country, for the worse?

Last night Tom Tancredo used the “He’s making us act crazy!” defense on Maddow.

 
 

Arizon-NAH.

HB 2281 would make it illegal for a school district to have any courses or classes that promote the overthrow of the U.S. government, are designed primarily for students of a particular ethnic group or advocate ethnic solidarity “instead of the treatment of pupils as individuals.”

It also would ban classes that “promote resentment toward a race or class of people.”

Great, fucking great. WTF are they going to do about teaching the Holocaust when it’s all about bigotry? God knows they aren’t going to cover slavery except in the most superficial way.

Anyone see Greg Palast’s analysis of Juan Crow? He basically suggests it’s an attempt to disenfranchise Hispanic voters in AZ in a way that makes what happened in Florida 2000 look innocent.

 
 

Last night Tom Tancredo used the “He’s making us act crazy!” defense on Maddow.

Interesting how Obama’s power stretches so far back into the hazy, distant past that few if any can remember a time when the majority of Republicans weren’t nuts.

 
 

Last night Tom Tancredo used the “He’s making us act crazy!” defense on Maddow.

Yeah, I saw that. It really makes no sense. Truly ridiculous. I think what he actually means is “Now we do look crazy!” If only more news outlets had someone like Maddow.

 
 

Interesting how Obama’s power stretches so far back into the hazy, distant past that few if any can remember a time when the majority of Republicans weren’t nuts.

But he’s also a weak, effeminate liberal elitist…Colbert sums it up.

 
 

“HB 2281 would make it illegal for a school district to have any courses or classes that promote the overthrow of the U.S. government, are designed primarily for students of a particular ethnic group or advocate ethnic solidarity “instead of the treatment of pupils as individuals.”

It also would ban classes that “promote resentment toward a race or class of people.”

Well, isn’t that something? How come no one ever bothered to make that law in my home state when teachers regularly and openly teased kids were of a mixed race or when they were outnumbered with the white-kids who all came from the same neighborhood, would set upon the few black kids in the room, making jokes about slavery, black culture, etc.? HuH?

Where were those stupid fuckers then?

And to repeat for my lost comment to Soul-Lite who made this enlightened from the dark posit about lefties like me (even though I know you’ve crawled back into some wingnut’s crusty asshole by now):

Fuck you.

I just crawled over my shit in my garage and emptied out the last of my collected pennies in order to get enough to get by until I don’t know when. And not because of lefty policies, no because of wingnut policies that hate poor white women with kids with a ferocity that burns hotter than any hell anywhere.

See, I got an injury that is non-work related. I can’t work but it might not be a full year, so I’m not qualified for disablity, because you know, I could probably pan handle or prostitute myself or maybe there’s another spot under the bridge and the soup kitchen is open everyday.

I could go on but I’ll abbreviate. Rotors for .90, change totaled twenty bucks. Pissed about wars? Sure I’m pissed about wars because I know for a fucking fact that poor kids are recruited as fodder for the rich man, just like they came around my neighborhood trying to fish my children into their goddamned mess with promises of money, stability and college. Sure. And I just nearly chased the fuckers down the street but my kids stopped me. Glenn Beck and the rest don’t tell you about me. I preach to the impoverished everday and win them over everyday you moron. I’m working behind your corporate cronie’s back.

I started a business a few years ago, a woman-owned business in a male dominated field. But it was the Demeecrats that have something to offer those like me who’ve felt the hand of injustice rest upon them. But you and your Republican cronies tell me they are all about small biz. Yeah, sure that’s why I see the Obama administration has put up new programs to support small business. Where was George?

Don’t tell me you are on my side with that same mouth that you just used to suck the corporate cock.

I’m so broke right now, I have no idea what I’ll do, but I do know one thing for sure, I wouldn’t vote for a Republican if there was a damn gun to my head and I’d fucking strangle your stupid little neck in an effort to squeeze out that stupid, just to help you out. Cause I’m caring like that.

So fuck you you little twit. Come here, walk in my fucking shoes and then tell me who I am and what I’m about.

 
 

I’m really hoping that someday soon a very large Arizona State Trooper has the balls to ask the governor if she has her papers with her and then when she can’t produce her birth certificate on demand he hauls her of to jail until such paperwork is produced. I also think that anyone who gets hauled under this idiocy should immediately ask to see the police officer’s proof of citezenship.

 
Oregon Beer Snob
 

I plan on writing scripts for my steampunk pr0n company…

I! W? N?

And kate — great takedown of wankstain soullite. But you can’t let shit like this

Come here, walk in my fucking shoes

dangle like that. I don’d mind the walking in my fucking shoes, its the bastards that fuck in my walking shoes that piss me off.

 
 

Moar epistemic closure via TiDoS Wankee:

Far worse for gun owners are those in our midst that confuse their right to bear arms with their imagined right to shove them in your face… metaphorically speaking, of course. While guns rights seem to be gaining ground across the nation, the confrontational, combative nature of some open carry advocates is detrimental to all gun owners, a fact many readers don’t seem to agree with in my latest article at Pajamas Media.

and in response:

In other words, CY, don’t do anything to make liberals call us nasty names. Might as well shut down the blog. Or join Charles Johnson.

and:

Ah, yes. The “good” gunowner who is quiet, demure, and no one knows is a gun owner, versus the “bad” gunowner who isn’t willing to lie down and pretend that it isn’t their right that being infringed upon.

Even the mall ninja isn’t radical enough for some people.

 
 

Last night Tom Tancredo used the “He’s making us act crazy!” defense on Maddow.

It was the Precious! The Precious made us do it!

 
 

“And kate — great takedown of wankstain soullite. But you can’t let shit like this

Come here, walk in my fucking shoes

dangle like that. I don’d mind the walking in my fucking shoes, its the bastards that fuck in my walking shoes that piss me off.”

Indeed, pissing in my walking shoes and walking on my back after they kick me down one more time. They don’t know the rage they are playing with, they just don’t know. Anti-war protesters, some of them, I think fear me because I’m ready for the fucking revolution yester-fucking-day.

 
 

If you liked that one Oregon you would have liked the original which was a masterpiece of sputtering rage at everything wingnut, which some alien in a black hole is reading and laughing about right now.

 
 

Great, fucking great. WTF are they going to do about teaching the Holocaust when it’s all about bigotry? God knows they aren’t going to cover slavery except in the most superficial way.

Holo-what, now? Slavery? Isn’t that a problem of the states east of the Mississippi?

 
 

Even the mall ninja isn’t radical enough for some people.

I want to reinforce my belief that all minorities should arm themselves and openly carry, especially to Teabagger rallies and in the state of Arizona.

 
 

I want to reinforce my belief that all minorities should arm themselves and openly carry,

I think Obama should start packing.

 
 

Esteev said,

April 30, 2010 at 18:40

Retarded

On the bright side, you can always attend for the The smokin’ hottiez!

I found this lovely flower in the “might attend” section. One can hope…

 
 

I think Obama should start packing.

Ever take a close look at his trousers?????

 
 

Ever take a close look at his trousers?????

Um, noooo.

 
 

Um, noooo.

Well??? Doesn’t the fact that the right wing was all antsy about the package he was ramming down their throats have any meaning???

 
 

Re earlier up, I stand corrected on that one point by Esteev. And the Fox News explanation makes sense – groupthink is, after all, an enduring conservative quality. It just seems weird that people would be trying to rehabilitate so soon when “Bush was a liberal” has, at this point, become a staple of said groupthink.

Otherwise;

Last night Tom Tancredo used the “He’s making us act crazy!” defense on Maddow.

I would point out that no matter how much we “hate Republicans,” as whatsisface says, they don’t make us act crazy. For example, surely we hated Bush, yes? And yet, there was no upsurge in left-wing violence, no rebirth of the Weather Underground, no lefties stockpiling guns so high that ammunition manufacturers literally couldn’t keep up with the demand, under his administration. Protestors didn’t go to town hall meetings carrying AKs and holding signs to the effect of “Time To Water The Tree Of Liberty.” Death threats to the White House didn’t go up several hundred percent like they did after the Obama inauguration. And while conservative politicians may have been insulted or even spat on, I don’t remember the crowds calling them honkies, whiteys or whatever the equivalent of “nigger/faggot” is.

So, there goes the “he’s making us go crazy” defense, yet another departure from the personal responsibility conservatives claim to cherish (though hardly the most egregious one considering that “it’s not rape you’re just a slut” is still considered appropriate in some conservative circles).

I want to reinforce my belief that all minorities should arm themselves and openly carry, especially to Teabagger rallies and in the state of Arizona.

Agree wholeheartedly. They want to prove they’re not racist? Fine – let’s see how they react to a group of armed black people. Or better yet, get a group of Arabs to wear the most stereotypical clothing they can think of and camp out in front of the next teabagger convention with DEATH TO AMERICA written on the banners, and every Arab armed with a machine gun (hey, First and Second amendments, man).

I don’t really advise it, because so many good mainstream Americans would wet themselves at the sight of it that by the end of the day, you’d probably have anti-hajji legislation in Congress that would make the Arizona law look like the Civil Rights Act. As amusing as it is to think about, implementing it in a country where so many people desperately want to lynch every hajji-looking person from the nearest tree is tempting fate too much. Besides, the sight of blacks and Hispanics would probably scare them nearly as much.

 
 

Umm, D-KW? You know mother’s day is coming up?

Every day is mother’s day for her!

If you know what I mean…and i think you do.

 
 

I think Obama should start packing.

I would love to see Obama start making appearances festooned with bandoleers of shotgun shells. The bitter gun-clingers would get whiplash going from “Tree of liberty WHARRGARBL!” to “OMG Che Guevara-style politics!”

 
 

Well??? Doesn’t the fact that the right wing was all antsy about the package he was ramming down their throats have any meaning???

The ladies doth protest too much. methinks. They like it. They just don’t want you to believe they like it. Notice that when the black guy took over the protesting increased dramatically?

 
 

“hey want to prove they’re not racist? Fine – let’s see how they react to a group of armed black people. “

I have a feeling that our black brothers would not be too keen on servicing the fantasies of a few leftie white folks (white and black of course being in use which serves to perpetuate the racist construct).

They’d probably say, go fight your own damn battles, we got enough of our own and we’re a bit tired of standing in the firing line for your asses.

That’s just my thinking. I could be wrong.

 
 

Racism among white folks is something that white folks need to stomp out and fight against, magic Negroes being a fictional construct and all.

 
 

They’d probably say, go fight your own damn battles, we got enough of our own and we’re a bit tired of standing in the firing line for your asses.

Or, the thinking could go “He’s one of us, leave a brother alone”

 
 

the “bad” gunowner who isn’t willing to lie down and pretend that it isn’t their right that being infringed upon.

Oh yeah, which ones? You know, in reality, not in your head. And no “well, he’s FIXIN’ TO” bullshit, either.

 
 

I have a feeling that our black brothers would not be too keen on servicing the fantasies of a few leftie white folks (white and black of course being in use which serves to perpetuate the racist construct).

They’d probably say, go fight your own damn battles, we got enough of our own and we’re a bit tired of standing in the firing line for your asses.

That’s just my thinking. I could be wrong.

Oh, most citizens would – the average Joe’s reaction to protests is usually “leave me alone and get out of my street” no matter who the protesters are and what their cause is. Even more so if it’s doubled by “hello, would you like to be part of an experiment?”

That said, I have no doubt there are politically people who’d find this humorous enough to give it a shot. The sea of hate against Obama’s really touched a nerve in a lot of black voters, for obvious reasons.

 
 

Y’know, there’s a shortcut thru the nostrils. The Egyptians knew that. Why are zombies so dumb?

you’re a sick man. You want me to eat food after it’s been dragged through snot?

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

How the hell did I miss this thread?

Let me get my licks in…

Illuminati
Reptons
Deros
Davos
Bilderbergers
Trilateralists
Gnomes of Zurich

Hell, I could go on, but I’ve got to get my ass home and get some sleep.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

What I’m curious to know is to what extent violent, Gilded Age tactics are used against illegal immigrants – the people who have no recourse at all against it. Or is the mere threat of deportation enough to keep them in line, no matter how shitty the working conditions?

Can’t be arsed looking it up, but Walmart locked workers inside.

 
anarcho-islammunazivik sleeper agent (and secret illJEWminati mason-templar banker)
 

No one left on this thread… and now, to work! ATTENTION ALL CELLS: There’s no need to light a nightlight on a light night like tonight! REPEAT: There’s no need to light a nightlight on a light night like tonight!

 
anarcho-islammunazivik sleeper agent (and secret illJEWminati mason-templar banker)
 

No one left on this thread… and now, to work! ATTENTION ALL CELLS: There’s no need to light a nightlight on a light night like tonight! REPEAT: There’s no need to light a nightlight on a light night like tonight!

 
anarcho-islammunazivik sleeper agent (and secret illJEWminati mason-templar banker)
 

No one left on this thread… and now, to work! ATTENTION ALL CELLS: There’s no need to light a nightlight on a light night like tonight! REPEAT: There’s no need to light a nightlight on a light night like tonight! 663

 
anarcho-islammunazivik sleeper agent (and secret illJEWminati mason-templar banker)
 

No one left on this thread… and now, to work! ATTENTION ALL CELLS: There’s no need to light a nightlight on a light night like tonight! REPEAT: There’s no need to light a nightlight on a light night like tonight! 664

 
anarcho-islammunazivik sleeper agent (and secret illJEWminati mason-templar banker)
 

No one left on this thread… and now, to work! ATTENTION ALL CELLS: There’s no need to light a nightlight on a light night like tonight! REPEAT: There’s no need to light a nightlight on a light night like tonight! 665

 
anarcho-islammunazivik sleeper agent (and secret illJEWminati mason-templar banker)
 

666 Bitchezzz! And so openeth the seventh seal…

 
 

too bad, another post, now the count totals 667

 
 

nightlight lit, 668

 
 

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