Ted Said A Bad Word

noel_sheppard_as_george_washington

ABOVE: James Sharples’s 1790s portrait
of Noel Sheppard


Newsblusterer Noel Sheppard, the prissiest of the entire crew of prissy pants over at Brent Bozell’s daycare center for perpetually outraged wingnuts, soiled his training pants yesterday when he heard that Ted Turner dropped the “Bulls–t Bomb” while appearing on the Fox Business Channel. What will all the six-year olds in the FBC audience think? Will they march straight up to their parents and say “bullshit” and “rat piss” over and over again until they get more apple juice?

You would think someone who’s been involved with television for forty years would know what words you’re not allowed to say on the air. 

For some reason, such logic escaped media mogul Ted Turner Monday during an appearance on the Fox Business Network.

You would also think that someone whose job — to the extent that collecting a wingnut welfare check for blogging can be called a job — involves covering the media would know that the apocryphal seven words that you can’t say on television can be said with impunity on cable television. Judging from the amount of time Sheppard forces himself to scrutinize Bill Maher on HBO for liberal outrages against heartland conservative values, you would think that Sheppard would know that by now.

While the constantly hyperventilating Sheppard was having his hissy fit over bullshit (literally), it occurred to me that a quick search might show that the disgustingly obscene word was probably plastered all over the Newsblusterer site. Happily, yes! When Novakula said it to Carville, there was much joy in Newsblusterville. When wingnut novelty act and whack-a-doodle global warming denialist Penn Jillete used the horrid word to describe global warming on a cable channel, Sheppard himself thought it was the most amazing and uplifting moment in television history since Bill Buckley called Gore Vidal a faggot.

Hilariously, Sheppard’s post disappeared from the Newsblusterer site almost as soon as it was posted. I guess Noel got, er, newsbusted himself. Happily, my RSS newsreader preserved Sheppard’s nonsense for posterity and it is set out in its entirety below the fold for your reading pleasure.

CNN Founder Ted Turner Drops Bulls–t Bomb On Fox Business Network

You would think someone who’s been involved with television for forty years would know what words you’re not allowed to say on the air. 

For some reason, such logic escaped media mogul Ted Turner Monday during an appearance on the Fox Business Network.

Being interviewed alongside energy titan T. Boone Pickens, Turner didn’t like FBN host Brian Sullivan’s answer to his question, “Who built the interstate highway system?”

When Sullivan correctly answered “Eisenhower,” Turner apparently couldn’t control himself (video follows with partial transcript, relevant section at 2:55):

Popout

TED TURNER: And now the technology is so good, with a new digital grid from coast to coast and border to border, we can get, we’ll be able to bring the electricity from solar power in Arizona and New Mexico and Southern California where, where it’s the sun, sunlight’s really bright all over the country. And we’ll be able to bring wind power from Texas all the way up into, into North Dakota out on the Great Plains where the wind power is the greatest. And we’ll, we’ll solve our energy problems.

BRIAN SULLIVAN, HOST: But you can’t do without subsidies, right?

T. BOONE PICKENS: Well…

TURNER: What?

SULLIVAN: Without subsidies you can’t do it. It’s too expensive.

PICKENS” Well, how do you like subsidizing foreign oil? You like that one?

TURNER: Who built the interstate highway system?

SULLIVAN: Eisenhower.

TURNER: Oh, bulls–t. We did. And we’re, we’re gonna build a new grid, too. What’s wrong with that?

Nice, Ted.

Of course, both of them were right, for Eisenhower signed the Federal-Aid Highway Act of 1956 thereby changing America forever.

Needless to say, it was all taxpayer-funded, but that’s not an excuse for one of America’s most successful media moguls to speak this way on live television. 

 

Comments: 181

 
 
 

Someone has to say it:

shit piss cock cunt cocksucker motherfucker tits

RIP roofside, St. George.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Peej, I am totally going to put El Caganer in my nativity scene this year. Once I acquire a nativity scene.

 
 

Once I acquire a nativity scene.

Veiled…uh.. veiled…well, its gotta be veiled something, right?

 
 

I wonder if what really tripped Shephard was the word “Eisenhower”. He’s the one president Republicans mention less often than Nixon. Probably because he was relatively sane as well as an actual veteran who knew what war was like, and didn’t pursue it for an armageddongasm…

 
 

Misspelled Sheppard as Shephard. I wonder if he does Shep Hard, though?

 
 

Mommy! Mommy! The bad man on the teevee said a bad word!

I wonder if he does Shep Hard, though?

Fucking brilliant! Oops, Shep Hard says I’m not supposed to say fuck.

 
 

ts gotta be veiled something, right?

Veiled impregnation.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

ts gotta be veiled something, right?

Veiled impregnation.

NOOOOOOOOOOOO then I don’t want to acquire a nativity scene!

 
 

NOOOOOOOOOOOO then I don’t want to acquire a nativity scene!

Just lie back and think of England Banderas.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Just lie back and think of England Banderas.

Antonio Banderas? No thanks.

 
 

Get your slurs right. Buckley called Vidal a queer.

 
 

Antonio Banderas? No thanks.

Ogden Nash’s best short poem:

The Bronx?
No thonx.

 
 

I wonder if what really tripped Shephard was the word “Eisenhower”. He’s the one president Republicans mention less often than Nixon. Probably because he was relatively sane as well as an actual veteran who knew what war was like, and didn’t pursue it for an armageddongasm…

Eisenhower is anathema. He was a successful moderate who oversaw , ran a 90% top marginal tax rate but that only applied to incomes over circa $2 million in today’s dollars, actual veteran and warned against the MIC that is today’s Republican paradigm.

They know better than to even bring it up.

 
 

Well, let’s just wait for their reaction to Carl Levin saying “shitty deal” fifty times at the Goldman Sachs hearing.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

The Bronx?
No thonx.

Hee. That always makes me giggle.

 
 

N__B, you missed it by one.

shit piss fuck cunt cocksucker motherfucker and tits

“OK, sheriff, we’re gonna fuck ya now. But we’re gonna fuck ya real slow.”

 
Lurking Canadian
 

Obviously, if Jane Fonda hadn’t gone to Hanoi, Ted Turner wouldn’t be saying bullshit on the air.

[Bleep]ing commies.

 
 

This blog is getting very boring. Sanctimonious, with nothing constructive.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

This blog is getting very boring. Sanctimonious, with nothing constructive.

Oh, irony. How I heart you.

 
 

When he finds out what Carl Levin said today in the hallowed Halls of Congress, he’s gonna break down crying.

 
 

And I see Froley already made the same observation above. Must read thread next time.

 
 

What will all the six-year olds in the FBC audience think?

That’s 80% of the audience for FBC, I tell you! All four of them!

shit piss cock cunt cocksucker motherfucker tits

Forty years on, you can say “piss”. “Tits” is not far behind. And “cock” is fine on Animal Planet.

 
 

ran a 90% top marginal tax rate

FDR passed that, however.

What Eisenhower did do, what his distinction is, he’s the only Republican president since WWII to lower the deficit as a percentage of GDP. Every other Republican president, from Nixon to Reagan, has raised it unfailingly in every term, no exception.

Every Democrat has lowered it, in every term, up to this one.

 
Lurking Canadian
 

Forty years on, you can say “piss”. “Tits” is not far behind. And “cock” is fine on Animal Planet.

There was a Very Special Episode of ER in which Mark Green got away with “shit” (of course that was after 10:00pm). And I’m sure I heard “tits” on an episode of a network show, too, but I can’t remember which one.

 
 

I’m sure I heard “tits” on an episode of a network show, too, but I can’t remember which one.

The first recorded use of it was on “The Trials of Rosie O’Neill” in 1990, in reference to getting a boob job.

 
Lieut. Champale Flirtini
 

“And tits doesn’t even belong on the list….
It sounds like a snack. Cheese tits. Onion tits. Tater Tits.”

 
 

The first recorded use of it was on “The Trials of Rosie O’Neill” in 1990, in reference to getting a boob job.

Meanwhile there were actual tits in the PBS broadcast of I, Claudius. Hot!

 
 

Obviously, if Jane Fonda hadn’t gone to Hanoi, Ted Turner wouldn’t be saying bullshit on the air.

Can’t pin this one on Jane. Clearly, it the fault of Ted’s mother for not disciplining little Teddy properly.

 
 

Reading a bit of the transcript of the “shitty deal” incident, I am reminded of the phrase “That’s a guy who would sell a blind man a rat’s asshole for a wedding ring.”

I’m also reminded of the Enron tapes. Same shit, basically. Shitstains guffawing about robbing you blind. Here’s to hoping that GS meets a similar end, but with more folks in the stripey-hole.

 
 

<I.Obviously, if Jane Fonda hadn’t gone to Hanoi, Ted Turner wouldn’t be saying bullshit on the air.

Why do liberals hate our freedoms so?

 
 

Nice bit of sticky-bomb messaging from Levin. Teh Wurlitzer won’t be able to resist quoting him in their pearl-clutching outrage at is “potty mouth” and every time they do the message about GS’s asshole corruption gets repeated.

Also (too) Dear Arizona, when even Tom “Boo! Brown Person Under Yer Bed!” Tancredo thinks you’ve gone too far with your little Juan Crow Law then you’re waaaay the fuck off the map.

 
 

Re PeeJ’s link:

can you imagine the complaints “the great defecator” would stir up if placed in a nativity scene here in North America?

I’m pretty sure that’s now illegal in Arizona. I mean, just look at that guy. Gotta be a wetback.

 
 

And why does actor212 hate tags so?

 
 

Juan Crow

Excellent neologism!

 
Lurking Canadian
 

can you imagine the complaints “the great defecator” would stir up if placed in a nativity scene here in North America?

I’m pretty sure that’s now illegal in Arizona. I mean, just look at that guy. Gotta be a wetback.

Who? You mean the blond, blue-eyed baby?

 
 

Who? You mean the blond, blue-eyed baby?

The Nazis did settle in South America after the war.

 
 


Juan Crow

Excellent neologism!

Wish I could take credit, but it was coined by someone in my Twitter stream. OTOH, they are probably brown, so let’s just call it mine until they produce papers proving otherwise.

 
 

Twitter stream

VPR

 
 

Dear Arizona, when even Tom “Boo! Brown Person Under Yer Bed!” Tancredo thinks you’ve gone too far with your little Juan Crow Law then you’re waaaay the fuck off the map.

WOW.

Just… wow.

(And has anyone mentioned James Lilek’s F-bomb to Raed back in 2003? No pearl-clutching then either, from what I remember…)

 
 

(And has anyone mentioned James Lilek’s F-bomb to Raed back in 2003? No pearl-clutching then either, from what I remember…)

He was talking to a brown person. You can swear at brown people. It’s the only language they know.

 
Lurking Canadian
 

Ezra Klein writes a shitty column.

Oh, FFS, Ezra. The nature of the relationship between an agent and a client implies that the agent puts the clients interests before his own. It’s what the words mean. The alternative situation is something we call a “conflict of interest”, which most people recognize as a bad thing.

This is taught during the second lecture of any professional ethics course in any discipline. (The first lecture being devoted to handing out the course outline and identifying the textbook.) So you can see how a guy like Ezra doesn’t know about it.

 
 

Ezra Klein writes a shitty column.

We don’t necessarily want investment banks to be the arbiters of what is a “good” or “bad” trade any more than we want Amazon telling us which television we can purchase.

I don’t think that is an apt analogy.

 
 

You can swear at brown people. It’s the only language they know

And brail; spoken with a baton.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I have also seen “Jose Crow,” though, really, Jaime or Diego would be more accurate, but wev…

Ezra Klein writes a shitty column.

Ezra, baby, you just lost any good will you regained with me by making a Postal Service reference on Twitter today.

 
 

I don’t think that is an apt analogy.

If the next Stephen King novel’s no good the economy tanks.

 
 

Ezra Klein writes a shitty column.

It wasn’t that he was wrong in what he wrote.

It’s that what he wrote was not the point of the case. It’s not about Goldman hedging both sides of a bet. I have no problem with that.

It’s that they lied through their teeth to offload both bets. From what I’ve read and seen, they did minimal work in protecting investors, and may not even have met the very lax regulations that the Bush people were bothering to enforce.

Markets work best when knowledge is perfect on all sides of a trade. The less perfect that knowledge is, the more corrupt the market and the less free the enterprise. Goldman should have told investors on both sides of their positions that they were heavily invested in the other side and that they had an underlying interest in seeing the mortgages bust.

 
 

(And has anyone mentioned James Lilek’s F-bomb to Raed back in 2003? No pearl-clutching then either, from what I remember…)

I seem to remember a dick named Cheney dropping an F-bomb on the Senate floor a few years ago, and recently saying he was proud of it. I would search Shep-Hard’s archives for a rebuke, but today is a day that ends in “day” and those are days for which getting out of the boat is strictly prohibited.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I seem to remember a dick named Cheney dropping an F-bomb on the Senate floor a few years ago, and recently saying he was proud of it.

I wonder what would happen if Carl Levin shot a guy in the face?

 
 

I don’t want to hear bing bang bubbly Bullshit on my ting tang tiddley Teevee

 
 

that’s not an excuse for one of America’s most successful media moguls to speak this way on live television.

Maybe he thought somebody had invented some sort of short time delay technology which would allow the network to overlay some sort of blocking sound effect over the offending words, perhaps something along the lines of a “beep” or “bleep.”

 
 

I wonder what would happen if Carl Levin shot a guy in the face?

Martial law and appointment of a GOP Preznit until the emergency is over, of course.

 
 

Maybe he thought somebody had invented some sort of short time delay technology

Maybe he was mad as hell and he wasn’t going to take it anymore and he had his sign with Obama sporting a Hitler moustache all ready to go but he said “bullshit” instead.

 
 

Maybe he thought somebody had invented some sort of short time delay technology which would allow the network to overlay some sort of blocking sound effect over the offending words, perhaps something along the lines of a “beep” or “bleep.”

Maybe he was just motherfucking drunk on some bullshit iced tea he got at fucking Sylvia’s.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I wonder what would happen if Carl Levin shot a guy in the face?

Martial law and appointment of a GOP Preznit until the emergency is over, of course.

Yes, but the more salient question is: could he get that guy to apologize for getting in the way of his gun?

 
 

Oh, give him a break. Sheppard was simply trying to deflect attention from the fact that the government in fact does have an important role to play in creation of infrastructure.

Fortunately for everyone involved, that little heresy having become entangled with the word “bullshit” and shoved down the memory hole.

 
 

Yes, but the more salient question is: could he get that guy to apologize for getting in the way of his gun?

VBGR¹

¹ Velied Bohemian Grove reference

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Arrrrrrrrrrg. Oklahoma, once again, proves that it is the asshole of this great nation.

 
 

N__B, you missed it by one.

shit piss fuck cunt cocksucker motherfucker and tits

I hang my head* in shame.

*VPR

 
 

Sheppard was simply trying to deflect attention from the fact that the government in fact does have an important role to play in creation of infrastructure.

You mean it WASN’T built single-handed by MECHA EISENHOWER?

 
 

I hang my head* in shame.

*VPR

I thought you were circumcised.

 
 

I wonder what would happen if Carl Levin shot a guy in the face?

I doubt Carlz got da skillz to make the dude apologize to him!

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Don’t read the comments, by the way. Those mangoes are sour. And rapey.

 
 

Don’t read the comments, by the way

Just reading this little silly-gism¹ tells me to stop:

There are a couple of things that you must understand about Hollywood sex… first, it is not real; they are actors and they are being paid to act! Second, and probably most important, a very high percentage of the time (probably like 98%) movie and TV sex is not in the context of marriage—it is either extramarital because it is an affair, or it is premarital sex. In both cases the emotions and desire typically run very high and strong. I hate to break the bad news to you, but what Hollywood shows us is not real, everyday married sex.

¹VPR

Um, cuz, married sex makes for bad drama? Maybe that’s why Hollywood shows more premarital and extra-marital sex than marital sex, because the sex (usually) drives the story and establishes the depth of a relationship which is presumed when a couple has already married??

 
 

“While the constantly hyperventilating Sheppard was having his hissy fit over bullshit (literally)”

No, not literally. Unless Sheppard was discussing fertilizer policy.

Love, The Unemployed Editor

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Um, cuz, married sex makes for bad drama?

Well, if it’s a fucking chore, then yeah. I mean, who wants to see people (ie, women) cleaning their toilets?

 
 

Oh, and sex is like cleaning the toilet.

Only in that I don’t do either nearly so much as I should.

Could be related, I suppose.

 
 

I thought you were circumcised.

TRIGGER!

 
 

Only in that I don’t do either nearly so much as I should.

I thought one was a substitute for the other?

That might explain why you can eat out of my toilet…

 
 

TRIGGER!

*koffkoff*

Um. Too much information.

 
 

There are a couple of things that you must understand about Hollywood sex… first, it is not real; they are actors and they are being paid to act!

OMG fer reals?!!! I thought it was a little strange that what looked like the same people were going by different names and were married to different people from the last time I saw them! Now it all makes sense!

 
Lurking Canadian
 

Just break the mindset that you won’t do it unless you feel like it

Shorter T&U’s link: Ladies, you don’t get to expect good sex; you don’t get to even say when to have sex. In fact, it’s probably best instead if you close your eyes and think of England. It’s only those damn liberals in Hollywood who made you all uppity unreasonable.

I…have no words. We’re through the looking glass here people.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I…have no words. We’re through the looking glass here people.

The rapey, rapey looking glass.

Goddamn, if I were an unmarried young evangelical and I read that, I would say “Fuck it! I’ll be celibate!”

 
 

RIGGER!

*koffkoff*

Um. Too much information.

Stop making fun of Trigg!!

 
 

TRIGGER!

*koffkoff*

Um. Too much information.

Stop making fun of Trigg!!

 
 

Stop making fun of Trigg!!

Is that a retard in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

 
 

come on, we’re talking about people who think they need to put an asterisk in the middle when they type the name of their Big Sky Fairy.

The pearl clutching is lifestyle at this point, besides it’s better than discussing the merits of Turner’s actual arguments, you know…

 
 

That might explain why you can eat out of my toilet…

Note to self: Don’t let A212 set the dinner table.

 
 

Is that a retard in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

Both?

I dunno why that posted twice.. with a T missing in the first. Oh, that’s right, FYWP.

 
 

people who think they need to put an asterisk in the middle when they type the name of their Big Sky Fairy.

Linds*y Gr*ham?

 
 

Note to self: Don’t let A212 set the dinner table.

Don’t beat around the bush. You are just scared he will make off with the silverware.

 
 

Linds*y Gr*ham?

B*r*ck Ob*m*!!!

 
 

Don’t beat around the bush

You’d better veil that reference, not-old person of undetermined sex.

 
 

You are just scared he will make off with the silverware.

What? More dishes? I eat barehanded.

 
 

not-old person of undetermined sex.

That is so hot.

 
 

Don’t beat around the bush

You’d better veil that reference, not-old person of undetermined sex.

Perhaps it was a quail and grouse hunting analogy?
From a 36 year old white guy who has never hunted quail or grouse. But what do I know about quail or grouse hunting? I haven’t shot anyone in the face with a shotgun.

 
 

RIGGER!

*koffkoff*

what do you have against light techs and/or scaffolding workers?

 
 

Thank goodness! Evangelical researchers working with Chinese and Turkish teams claim to have finally found Noah’s Ark, proof that God once murdered everyone on Earth via drowning because they didn’t pay Him the right attention, and then in return for murdering everyone but this one family, he gave us a rainbow.

“It’s not 100 percent that it is Noah’s Ark, but we think it is 99.9 percent that this is it,” Yueng Wing-cheung, a Hong Kong documentary filmmaker who was on the exploration team, said in a report from the AFP news service. Yeung said local Turkish officials were trying to win protected status for the site, so that a more extensive archaeological dig could be conducted.

Zimansky said he would welcome hearing more about what’s at the site. “It would be nice to know what they have found – if there’s a scientific publication in the offing,” he told me. “Press releases are not the way archaeology advances.”…

…Cornell’s Kuniholm said he’s had to deal with repeated claims from ark-hunters, including claims based on purported discoveries of ancient wood, and it sounds as if he’s starting to get sick of it. He expects the latest report will end up in his thick file of ark discoveries that end up going nowhere.

You know it’s truly a loving God when he’s willing to literally kill every single person on the planet, mothers and children, grandparents, those in the prime of life, and those just struggling to survive, by filling up their lungs with cold, cold water to show how needy He is for your attention. He wouldn’t have to treat us this way if we didn’t make Him mad.

 
 

But what do I know about quail or grouse

Take a lesson from the experts

 
 

Linds*y Gr*ham?

you goof. Miss Graham is not from Montana.

 
 

“Fuck it! I’ll be celibate!”

The burka will help with that.

 
 

scaffolding workers

i could think of a few people i’d like to scaffold

 
 

purported discoveries of ancient wood

Veiled Larry King reference

 
 

Arrrrrrrrrrg. Oklahoma, once again, proves that it is the asshole of this great nation.

SWEET HOLY CTHLUHU, “no exemption for rape or incest”.

What sick people. “See, honey? That’s your baby’s head! Now, we know the bad man did bad things, but you wouldn’t want to kill your little precious, would you?”

Is it possible to reserve Cockpuncho for the entire State Leg?

 
 

quail or grouse

what are “favorite activites of teabaggers”, alex?

 
 

The second law, however, is even more disturbing. Basically, it protects doctors from being sued if they decide not to tell patients that their fetus has birth defects. Writes McKinley, “The intent of the bill is to prevent parents from later suing doctors who withhold information to try to influence them against having an abortion.”

Just take a minute to digest that. In Oklahoma, it’s now legal to keep health information from patients in order to make their reproductive decisions for them.

Barring another court challenge, this law appears set to take effect. Two bills, however, are still in the Oklahoma legislature. One limits insurance coverage for abortion, and the other, which we wrote about last year, would establish an online database where women would have to disclose information about their abortions.

Goddamn LIBERALS always trying to insert the government in health care decisions, right?

 
 

He wouldn’t have to treat us this way if we didn’t make Him mad.

Oh come ON! He was a young God! It’s like an eight year old with a magnifying glass and an ant hill!

 
 

Evangelical researchers working with Chinese and Turkish teams claim to have finally found Noah’s Ark…

Wasn’t there some cheesy-ass “documentary” a while ago called something like “In Search of Noah’s Ark”? Can’t remember if they actually claimed to have found the thing or not. It probably was right next to the Shroud of Turin.

 
 

You know it’s truly a loving God when he’s willing to literally kill every single person on the planet, mothers and children, grandparents, those in the prime of life, and those just struggling to survive, by filling up their lungs with cold, cold water to show how needy He is for your attention.

Yet another reason I can’t believe in Jehovah-1.

That and the “tortured for all eternity” schtick.

 
 

That and the “tortured for all eternity” schtick.

We prefer to call it “indefinite enhanced interrogation techniques”.

 
 

Wasn’t there some cheesy-ass “documentary” a while ago called something like “In Search of Noah’s Ark”?

By “Sun Pictures”, who also did one on Bigfoot around the same time. One-stop shopping for all your 70’s pseudoscience needs.

 
 

Can we now anticipate that an enlightened and encouraged NRO staff moves their offices to Oklahoma or Arizona?

 
 

By “Sun Pictures”

Starring Vern Adix as Noah, who went on to play Mr Cranston in TeenAlien and Plato in Beyond And Back (about life after death)

 
 

I mean, who wants to see people (ie, women) cleaning their toilets?

I would bet there are websites…

 
 

I mean, who wants to see people (ie, women) cleaning their toilets?

I would bet there are websites…

Rule 36.

 
 

I would bet there are websites…

Rule 36.

Also, Rule 34. Too.

 
 

Also, Rule 34. Too.

???

 
 

Also, Rule 34. Too.

???

If it exists, there’s porn for it.

 
 

Also, just for the fun of it, I reread revelations today. It is the dumbest piece of crap ever. And all of the stupid interpretations and people looking for signs of the Beast are just making stuff up. There are no portents. It kicks off with things falling from the sky and destroying a third of everything, and then all of the crap about the beasts and the whore of Babylon (which, disappointingly, is just metaphorical) and earthquakes and such occur later.

And the only people who get saved are 144,000 jewish virgin men. Seriously. That is about the only clearly stated part of the book.

It takes like 15 minutes to read. You owe it to yourself to wade through it just to be able to properly mock those you encounter who are wetting themselves over natural disasters and microchips.

 
 

I mean, who wants to see people (ie, women) cleaning their toilets?

Rule 34 here, folks.

I’m willing to bet (but unwilling to search) there’s a website (and probably a newsletter) devoted to “Sexy Housewives Cleaning Porcelain”

As to the pearl-clutchy fainting couchery, this is, of course, the most important issue facing the country. You unserious* people with your Oklahoma legislature and your Goldman Sachs have your priorities all wrong.

*channeling George Will, who calls anyone who doesn’t agree with him and his hero Calvin Coolidge “unserious.” Now I must go cleanse my mind with an ice pick.

 
 

Damn you, Mystic and Pere! If I hadn’t chosen to comment on the actual topic I’d have beaten you and your quick fingers.

 
 

And the only people who get saved are 144,000 jewish virgin men.

So basically the graduating class of West Islip High School…

 
 

Damn you, Mystic and Pere! If I hadn’t chosen to comment on the actual topic I’d have beaten you and your quick fingers.

Staying on-thread is a losing strategy.

 
 

Blokes are always bragging about the size of their toilet brushes.

 
 

It kicks off with things falling from the sky and destroying a third of everything, and then all of the crap about the beasts and the whore of Babylon (which, disappointingly, is just metaphorical) and earthquakes and such occur later.

What cracks me up is the insistence that some of it is metaphor, some real. Which is which? WHO KNOWS.

I plan on confronting some born-again some day and insisting that he explain to me where the real ten-headed Beast is going to come out of the ocean with a chick on his back.

 
 

that he explain to me where the real ten-headed Beast is going to come out of the ocean with a chick on his back.

You’ve never seen the Pam Anderson/Tommy lee sex tape?????

 
 

Now I must go cleanse my mind with an ice pick. toilet with a huge brush and vigorous scrubbing action

For great justice. Also: pornification.

 
 

I reread revelations today. It is the dumbest piece of crap ever.

As Norman Cohn wrote somewhere, Revelation smells of the lamp. You can tell that the author was a spotty nerd trying to write in Ye Olde archaic style. Biblical slashfic.

 
 

Now I must go cleanse my mind with a huge brush and vigorous scrubbing action
Don’t forget, up on the backstroke. Also.

 
 

that he explain to me where the real ten-headed Beast is going to come out of the ocean with a chick on his back.

You’ve never seen the Pam Anderson/Tommy lee sex tape?????

That’s not his back.

 
 

That’s not his back.

I wasn’t really watching him

*blush*

 
 

SO Pam Anderson is the Whore of Babylon?

Figures.

 
 

but wait- she’s a blonde!

 
 

but the Scarlet Woman needs to be *scarlet*! Firey pagan redhead!

 
 

Firey pagan redhead!

Red Sonja?

 
 

Red Sonja?

Like Red Sonja with less of the stabby and more of the sexsay.

 
 

Wait, he’s saying that Eisenhower paid for the interstate highway system? Or is he saying that Ike actually got out there and turned shovels?

Cuz I will call bullshit. So they can clutch more pearls because zombies are foul-mouthed.

Of course, their support of “foul-mouthed” last week for South Park in service of othering brown people was summarily abandoned when the political winds afforded a new opportunity.

Sweet zombie Jeebus, these cretins make me weary.

 
 

So basically the graduating class of West Islip High School…

this is covered under the Five Towns Of The Apocalypse

 
 

Jonah spells it out:

Regardless, I’m also convinced that America has an illegal immigration problem that is best understood as an illegal Mexican immigration problem. Unless you deal with it, the issue will only get more polarizing and the problems will only get worse. I am basically in the Krauthammer camp. Secure the border and reduce the number of illegals to a manageable number, then we can talk about amnesty and even increased legal immigration.

 
 

Now I must go cleanse my toilet with a huge brush and vigorous scrubbing action

Should I be wearing one of those sexy French Maid outfits?

(sorry about that, would you like to borrow my ice pick?)

 
 

The Oklahoma Legislature voted overwhelmingly Tuesday to override vetoes of two highly restrictive abortion measures, one making it a law that women undergo an ultrasound and listen to a detailed description of the fetus before having an abortion.

Gov. Brad Henry, a Democrat, vetoed both bills last week. The ultrasound law, he said, was flawed because it did not exempt rape and incest victims and was an unconstitutional intrusion into a woman’s privacy. He painted the other measure as immoral.

“It is unconscionable to grant a physician legal protection to mislead or misinform pregnant women in an effort to impose his or her personal beliefs on a patient,” Mr. Henry said.

The Republican majorities in both houses, however, saw things differently. On Monday, the House voted overwhelmingly to override the vetoes, and the Senate followed suit at 10:42 a.m. Tuesday, making the two measures law.

I think this guy is going to need more security.

Its hard to see the embryo (its only a fetus after the 1st trimester), so the ultrasound will have to be inserted. So legally mandated rape, then some slut shaming.

Again, the Onion fucking called this(video).

 
Anonymous Teabagger
 

No more big government! We need more liberty!!*

*these principles do not apply to bitches and wetbacks.

 
 

Should I be wearing one of those sexy French Maid outfits?

Do you have the legs for fishnet?

 
 

Rule 34 here, folks.

The other day someone (here, I think) referred to Japan as Rule 34 Island. It took about 20 minutes to get monitor clean.

Now back to your regularly scheduled rambling.

 
 

Like Red Sonja with less of the stabby and more of the sexsay.

Interest. Website? Newsletter?

 
 

For me, there is nothing erotic about stockings that contain actual live fish. Perhaps I am in the minority.

 
 

Do you have the legs for fishnet?

Salmonid say my legs look great in fishnet, others that they’re too whitefish. I’ll leave it to others to judge, and that’s the trout.

Now here is a guy who knows how to treat wimminz.

 
 

TruculentandUnreliable said,

April 27, 2010 at 21:26

Oh, and sex is like cleaning the toilet. Thanks for linking to that little bit of wisdom, PZ.

Tee hee. Thanks for that, T & U. I love PZ’s commenters.

@tsg: if sex is a pain in the ass, use more lube, and go slower

Cleaning a toilet involves getting (sometimes) elbow-deep in a smelly, stained, damp hole… Anyone want to take bets on what Mark Gungor’s wife looks like naked?

I’d lose the imagery of the toilet and disinfectants, though rubber implements and even gloves could be intriguing. . .

Women: All Your Sex Are Belong to Us.

 
 

Who the piss gives a cunting fuck about this cocking shit anyway?

 
 

if the shit of the bull constipates him, he’ll just be shitting brass bricks sideways upon hearing this

http://rawstory.com/rs/2010/0427/fox-host-cword-taylor-swift/

 
 

The other day someone (here, I think) referred to Japan as Rule 34 Island. It took about 20 minutes to get monitor clean.

Yoohoo! Over here! ‘Twas I, ’twas I. Thank you very much, fry the veal.

 
 

Well. I step out to do a little shopping and the thread goes right into the toilet.

 
 

…right into the toilet.

DKW’s mom was makin’ a movie! And a website! Plus a newsletter.

We had to look, on Actor’s behalf.

 
 

“It’s not 100 percent that it is Noah’s Ark, but we think it is 99.9 percent that this is it,”

I’d love to see the data.

 
 

Holy fucking Romero’s colon, how many times have they found the Ark?

Remember the Great Prophet Barnum? ” There’s a sucker born every minute”

I think the pace is increasing.

 
 

No more big government! We need more liberty!!

Your lack of obvious spelling errors outs you as a parody troll, sir. (Not to mention the absence of any gratuitous use of CAPS.)

The Republican majorities in both houses, however, saw things differently.

Males who cannot ever hope to get any without lifelong patriarchal brainwashing of women (or outright rape, the difference being mere legal semantics) tend to see women’s bodies as threatening objects to be controlled, yes. But a civilized society will not pander to such a vile ideology. Hence the scene takes place in Oklahoma. (Yes, I once lived in Colorado.)

What Eisenhower did do, what his distinction is, he’s the only Republican president since WWII to lower the deficit as a percentage of GDP. Every other Republican president, from Nixon to Reagan, has raised it unfailingly in every term, no exception.

Heck, go all out, my fellow Noo Yawkah. President Eisenhower was the last Republican to sign a balanced federal budget. LBJ (in wartime!) and Clinton are the other examples from the past fifty years. WIngnuts fetishize balanced budgets for the same reason they idolize heterosexual monogamous marriages: never have they any hope of bringing about such situations themselves.

 
 

Oh, and I wish to apologize to the fucking tight-assed media colons about my prior post, which contained the word “fucking”

It was a slip, and I wish to apologize to the fucking tight-asses for whom standard shitting fucking terms of expression are unacceptable; plus, you all can suck my dessicated balls.

O please and thankew

 
 

I’d love to see the data.

There’s a checklist on the ark’s wall that’s a list of animals. Unicorn is crossed off.

 
 

O please and thankew

Well! It’s about time there was some civility around here.

 
 

“It is unconscionable to grant a physician legal protection to mislead or misinform pregnant women in an effort to impose his or her personal beliefs on a patient,” Mr. Henry said.
The Republican majorities in both houses, however, saw things differently. On Monday, the House voted overwhelmingly to override the vetoes, and the Senate followed suit at 10:42 a.m. Tuesday, making the two measures law.

But the government is too big when it’s trying to take my anti-aircraft missile launcher from my not-yet-dead hands!

Also: Interfering in healthcare is bad. Except, umm, shut up!

 
 

Not only did Goldman hedge both sides of their “bet”, they were playing with marked cards in a game where they made and changed the rules on a whim. Unlevel playing field? It was more like a bunch of guys on top a cliff throwing rocks at the people in the valley. And laughing and slapping one another on the back, and boasting of how clever they are when they crushed their “clients” down in the valley with a particularly monstrous rock.

 
 

I’d love to see the data.

It is to laugh. Radiocarbon dating is entirely unreliable when it says that Adam could not possibly have ridden a dinosaur. When it says that thing is 4800 years old, it’s gospel.

 
 

I’d love to see the data.

I’m guessing there’s but a single datum.

Like a partial vanity plate that they think says “NOSARK”

“Datum? Damn near killed him!”

What?

 
 

When it says that thing is 4800 years old, it’s gospel.

Also, weren’t the pyramids built around then? Them guys must’ve had some pretty impressive snorkels* to be able to work 13 thousand feet underwater.

Too.

*veiled — you know the drill.**

** ooh, there’s another one.

 
 

Also, just for the fun of it, I reread revelations today. It is the dumbest piece of crap ever.

Whenever I hear some goob going on about “America’s Judeo-Christian hertiage”, I ask him to discuss the fun parts of Ezekiel or Daniel, and all of Revelations. These Books were included to show how religion is not for the sane.

 
 

A Mr. Alexakis once sang:

I wish I believed like you do
Yeah you
In the myth of a merciful god
In the myth of a heaven and hell

Meh, he became a believer since then. But he’s desperate.

 
 

Ike quote:

“Should any political party attempt to abolish social security, unemployment insurance, and eliminate labor laws and farm programs, you would not hear of that party again in our political history. There is a tiny splinter group, of course, that believes you can do these things. Among them are H. L. Hunt (you possibly know his background), a few other Texas oil millionaires, and an occasional politician or business man from other areas. Their number is negligible and they are stupid.”

 
 

Looch said,

I’m guessing there’s but a single datum.

I’m pretty sure it was a twitch in the rectum.

 
 

These folks no likey the Ike. I was thinking about this the other day, he crammed civil rights down their throats by sending FEDERAL TROOPS to Little Rock, AR, when all those states’ rights protesters wanted was to be given just _one_ of those children to kick to death and tear apart. (You know, they just cared about small government and deficits. And apartheid.)

Today’s wingnutty crowd are descendants of the same skeery folks who had a major boner for MacArthur’s militarist/dictatorial tendencies, and yearned for him to run for president. Thank gawd we dodged that bullet.

MacArthur = Drop 12 nukes on Chinese airfields so we can WIN!!!

Ike = wind down the Korean war via negotiations (you know how wingnuts feel about such unsatisfying, unapocalyptic outcomes)

Ike also refused to go after Social Security. As a shrewd politician, he knew that was suicide.

The older I get, the more I like Ike. Then again, W. made me nostalgic for Nixon. Let’s pray the next Repug to take the White House doesn’t make us nostalgic for W.

More Ike quotes:
“When people speak to you about a preventive war, you tell them to go and fight it. After my experience, I have come to hate war. War settles nothing.”

“You can’t have this kind of war. There just aren’t enough bulldozers to scrape the bodies off the streets.”

And he wasn’t just waxing poetic there. After the battle of the Falaise Pocket, it took a whole lot of bulldozer work to get all of the German corpses, trucks, and horse corpses off the French highways so we could use them and move east. We merely pushed it to the edge of the roadway and moved on. Ike never was in combat in his Army career, but he sure saw that aftermath. And plenty more in the next eight months.

 
 

Despite some inaccurate lists upthread, Carlin’s 7 words are:

shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, tits

Get yer goddamn comedy straight.

 
 

Better translations and research indicates that even in the variety of Middle East flood myths earlier than the Noah tale, it was common for pastoralists to build round stationary floats anchored down to bring their livestock onto river floats.

River floods were a quite normal, if not entirely predictable, part of life for those dwelling in the agriculturally rich river flood plains.

Originally this is probably what the story is based on.

By the way, if all these fuckers insist that their faith tells them what’s what, and they don’t need no damn proof outside the Bible, why are they always seeking scientistic proof for their Paul Bunyan stories?

 
 

Bill Brasky took the entire neighorhood to Six Flags inside his suitcase!

 
 

What Eisenhower did do, what his distinction is, he’s the only Republican president since WWII to lower the deficit as a percentage of GDP. Every other Republican president, from Nixon to Reagan, has raised it unfailingly in every term, no exception.

And one way Ike kept the budget balanced was by keeping 90% maximum tax rates on the rich (while simultaneously presiding what was probably the single most prosperous decade ever for Americans, which, by the way, would be impossible if the economic theories Republicans operate under were true).

I, too, like Ike for his domestic policies (the most liberal Republican we’ve ever had – go figure why he’s so popular). On the other hand, I still blame him for the coups against Mossadegh, Arbenz and Lumumba – hard to forgive given the aftermath and the lost opportunities.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Hence the scene takes place in Oklahoma. (Yes, I once lived in Colorado.)

Huh?

 
 

Huh?

Coloradans were always eager to tell me how backwards them Okies were.

 
 

I learned from a plumber that shit flows downhill (and always wash your hands before lunch). From Colorado, downhill is Kansas (which may as well be Oklahoma). Yes, I do live in California. Why do you ask?

 
 

All the blather about dirty words is nothing more than distraction. A petty distraction, an effort to get someone to look the other way for a minute and hopefully forget that ole T-Pick-a-T-Bone and Teddie Turnher were smacking that Fox moron back and forth like two bitches at a cheating husband smack-down.

“But..but…who will pay for it?”

And when Pickins and Ted make the Fox whore look like the shallow whore he is all the wingnuttia can do is cry out, “Hey, look that way!”

 
 

Yesterday my crystal dragon Scoobie died dimly. What she had was a cancerous thorax and if I had the money she would have lived many more minutes. Sometimes there’s just too much sad news, ya know?

 
 

I need a laugh. Hasn’t Amy Alkon done anything outlandish lately?

 
 

Wow! Ted Turner’s not dead yet!

I’m also reminded of the Enron tapes.

Or the S&Ls in the 90s … or the prefab digital FUBAR of Black Monday in 1987 … or bankers & industrialists pulling the plug on the Roaring 20s on purpose … or probably the fucking Teapot Dome, for that matter.

Perhaps there was a magical halcyon era when the boardrooms & mansions of the ultra-rich were something other than hives of scum & villainy. Solid historical evidence to confirm such an exotic theory is suspiciously thin.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Coloradans were always eager to tell me how backwards them Okies were.

Well, they were right. I thought you were trying to draw some equivalence between Colorado and Oklahoma, which would be kind of silly.

From Colorado, downhill is Kansas (which may as well be Oklahoma). Yes, I do live in California. Why do you ask?

HEY NOW. As someone who grew up in Kansas along the Oklahoma border, I can assure you that Oklahoma is far, far worse than Kansas. Like, a billion times worse.

 
 

this is covered under the Five Towns Of The Apocalypse

I stand in awe of your reference. You, sir, are The Man!

 
 

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