Certainly Stupid [Restored; Damn you WordPress!]
Earlier “today,”* Bradroquette linked to this classic Suskind piece on Dear Leader. I’d forgotten how good it was.
Specifically, I’d forgotten one of the better anecdotes:
In the Oval Office in December 2002, the president met with a few ranking senators and members of the House, both Republicans and Democrats. In those days, there were high hopes that the United States-sponsored ”road map” for the Israelis and Palestinians would be a pathway to peace, and the discussion that wintry day was, in part, about countries providing peacekeeping forces in the region. The problem, everyone agreed, was that a number of European countries, like France and Germany, had armies that were not trusted by either the Israelis or Palestinians. One congressman — the Hungarian-born Tom Lantos, a Democrat from California and the only Holocaust survivor in Congress — mentioned that the Scandinavian countries were viewed more positively. Lantos went on to describe for the president how the Swedish Army might be an ideal candidate to anchor a small peacekeeping force on the West Bank and the Gaza Strip. Sweden has a well-trained force of about 25,000. The president looked at him appraisingly, several people in the room recall.”I don’t know why you’re talking about Sweden,” Bush said. ”They’re the neutral one. They don’t have an army.”
Lantos paused, a little shocked, and offered a gentlemanly reply: ”Mr. President, you may have thought that I said Switzerland. They’re the ones that are historically neutral, without an army.” Then Lantos mentioned, in a gracious aside, that the Swiss do have a tough national guard to protect the country in the event of invasion.
Bush held to his view. ”No, no, it’s Sweden that has no army.”
The room went silent, until someone changed the subject.
This is typically stupid in the petulant, bullheaded sort of way that is common with spoiled brats. But then everyone knows that Bush, like Reagan before him, is a recalcitrant moron. What, however, I wanted to add is that such stupid certitude isn’t confined to the obvious cretins of Wingnuttia: it’s also a trait of those who are (wrongly) regarded by consensus as Real Men of Genius.
Here’s Hitchens in 1980, back when he was a human being:
[Seymour] Hersh, though, does tell a story at Kissinger’s expense, but I doubt that the Doctor will find it all that amusing. In September 1970, at about the time when he was urging that the Sixth Fleet be used to plaster the Palestinians (and just imagine how much nearer that would have brought a peace agreement), Kissinger charged into the office of H.R. Haldeman. He bore with him a folder of the now-traditional aerial-reconnaissance photographs which depicted various structures on the island of Cuba. “It’s a Cuban seaport, Haldeman, and these pictures show the Cubans are building soccer fields… These soccer fields could mean war, Bob.” Haldeman inquired for more details of the doctor’s signs and portents. “Cubans play baseball. Russians play soccer.” From this meeting, Kissinger cranked up the United States to a condition approaching full alert, until even Nixon realized that it was a false alarm. Unrepentant in his memoirs, Kissinger himself says that “in my eyes this stamped it indelibly as a Russian base, since as an old soccer fan I knew the Cubans played no soccer.” They do, of course, very enthusiastically. The World Cup is a big event in Cuba, and any visitor can testify to the popularity of the game. I’m retelling the story at such length because it illustrates several things about Kissinger that often escape comment. First, his singular faith in his own judgement, and his peremptory way with subordinates. Second, his love of crisis and drama — one might say his need for these things. Third, his ingratiating pseudodemotic style (“as an old soccer fan,” forsooth). Finally, his ignorance. Cuba, it seems, joins that roster of less imposing cultures, a nearby country of which he knows nothing.
Morons.
Also, Colin Powell.
*Not a Groganism, but a lame-jokey reference to the effects of Sadly, No!’s Euro timestamp.
“These soccer fields could mean war, Bob.”
Does anything capture right-wing paranoia quite like that simple sentence?
Kissinger was a soccer fan – he was trying to misuse the American military to knock out a potential soccer threat to one of his favorite teams. He really was a visionary, just before his time.
That Bush, he’s a decider. One he’s decided that Sweden is a neutral country without an army, then dammit, it’s decided. Expect the US to make a preemptive strike somewhere in central Asia in the next couple months, in order to disarm the Swedish threat.
Wasn’t there a similarly argumentative right-wing woman-person who got caught in a stupid goof about how Canada sent troops to Vietnam? It was Ann Coulter, who insisted that Canada “used to be” our great friends, as evidenced by the fact that they helped The Cause in Vietnam? Only they didn’t, and, when corrected, she dug in her heels and insisted she was right.
http://www.commondreams.org/views05/0206-23.htm
What a great, well-informed historical perspective these people have. It’s no wonder they make such successful decisions when you consider their fine grasp on geopolitics.
Karl Rove was really on to something when he decided that smart and/or honest people would be simply powerless and dumbfounded before sustained stupidity and blatant lying.
I admit, I don’t know what to do in those situations except to investigate, document, and hang the bugger out to dry when his time comes.
WTF!!
My whole Hitchens quote and everything else is gone. Now the post makes no sense.
Damn you word press.
Hitch etc. used to be there; I can vouch for it, as I saw it. It was classic stuff.
Like your post, my comment makes no sense without it.
Bush held to his view. ‘’No, no, it’s Sweden that has no army.’’
He’s the decider, damn it, and he decided it was Sweden that didn’t have an army.
Crap, I shoulda read the other comments first.
Sorry, phleabo.
OF COURSE the Swedes have no army, those wooden shoes they all wear are too hard to march in.
Until links are restored or passages posted with cites, I will not related Candidate Bush’s 2000 statement that he looked forward to working closely with the US’s bestest friend Canada and her leader at the time … Prime Minister Jean Poutine.
I shit you not.
IIRC, only the WSJ caught the error (a harbinger of the oncoming stupidity.)
“And the official language of this country is now…Swiss!”
I remember when G. Ford couldn’t locate Poland. Apparently, world geography isn’t a Repub concern. Or science. Or ethics.
pbg: Since there is no language called “Swiss” (The only native born language is Romansh and less than 1% of the people speak it), we would be more boned than the people of San Macros if Bush said that.
Ok i think it’s fixed, but if it breaks again, I’m shitcanning the whole post. I have to copy that stuff by hand which is um “Hard Work”.
I’m really sick of the Swiss!
My whole Hitchens quote and everything else is gone. Now the post makes no sense.
Hey, don’t worry about it. Delayed gratification. I got a second helping of appalling mendacity and ignorance. I’ve never really followed Kissinger’s career that closely (it’s all a blur of Nixon, Vietnam, etc.), but a little, stinky error like this is certainly revealing.
*sigh*…Will Hitchens ever come back?
retardo, you of all people should understand how important baseball is!
*sigh*…Will Hitchens ever come back?
Doubtful. Did you notice, though, what a better writer he was back then?
retardo, you of all people should understand how important baseball is!
Sorry, chris, but statheads have ruined baseball for me.
ok not really but I’ve stopped reading about it. I follow the box scores and that’s it.
There was an almost identical story a few years later about Ollie North pointing to baseball fields in Nicaragua as proof of Cuban infiltration, on the grounds that “Nicaraguans don’t play baseball,” which is almost as crazy ignorant as Kissinger’s.
I’ve never really followed Kissinger’s career that closely (it’s all a blur of Nixon, Vietnam, etc.), but a little, stinky error like this is certainly revealing.
*Sigh* What will it take to get people to associate Kissinger with his greatest and most horrific crime, the overthrow of the Allende government, Pinochet and the horrors at the Soccer Stadium and worse. He’s every bit the monster that Milosevich was and yet it’s just not well known in America. Every time I see him on TV I get physically ill
statheads have ruined baseball for me.
C’mon, Retardo, don’t let ’em get to ya. I’ve not lost my love of the game in spite of being a Giants fan for nearly fifty years. Still a fan after ’71, ’89, ’93, ’02, all of it. Still a fan with an overpaid, roundly hated left fielder hitting .250. Still a fan with a bullpen that doesn’t seem to understand the object of the game. Still a fan, even if I am just “rooting for the laundry”. It’s BASEBALL!!!
mikey
This is one of those historical documents we’re goign to be referring back to in 20 years when our kids ask “What the fuck was going on back then?”
*Sigh* What will it take to get people to associate Kissinger with his greatest and most horrific crime, the overthrow of the Allende government, Pinochet and the horrors at the Soccer Stadium and worse.
Remember, I live in Canada. When the heavy shit starts goin’ down south of the border, we all mostly go into statis/hibernation and wait until the whole thing blows over.
Mikey, dont forget Timor and the Kurds and Cambodia and Laos and Cyprus and Greece. There’s a lot of blood on the mad doctor’s hands, but I agree Chile was awful too.
As for baseball, I dont have anything but local TV now so I cant even watch my beloved Cardinals, though I usually follow the game on the web and read the box scores. But, really, as far as reading about baseball, well I’ll read Dayn Perry @ FoxSports because he’s a good writer and a friend, and I’ll read Rosenthal occasionally but compared with what I used to do — vociferously defend baseball from the Legion of Nerds — I just dont have the energy or desire anymore.
Statheads are a bunch of Jacobin nutballs. They’ve won, and now they’re running around like a bunch of Robespierres with sliderule guillotines, sneer/beheading Whitey(Herzog)ball here, scouting there, leadership skills yonder, while all the while extolling some fat softball-type DH here, some cheating steroided bastard there, and some iron-gloved nitwit yonder. A retard with a calculator and a pack of fucking baseball cards can now claim, with whoops of affirmation, that he knows more about baseball than Joe Morgan.
I dont mean to be “indie rock” or “cineaste” here in the snob elitist sense, but you know how, even if you think Star Wars, say, is pretty cool, you dont advertise the fact and kind of think twice about its value, and distance yourself from it, BECAUSE of the volume and insanity of its fans? Star Wars nerds ruined Star Wars. Trekkies ruined Star Trek. The legions of Spin-reading, Pavement-worshiping fucktards in the 90s ruined indie rock. And statheads have ruined baseball; Bill James’s followers ruined Bill James. Christians ruined Xtianity. Muslims ruined Islam. Etc etc.
Seriously, follow some of these people. The last time the union went to the table, many these morons (because they hate ownership sooo much) actually *wished* for a strike! And they’ll do it again next time. Yes, the owners are awful, but statheads, as always, go too far.
i thought barry bonds was what ruined it for you? or are you just bitter about 2004?
Chris — The only thing worse than Barry Bonds is the knee-jerk steroid defender brigade, and you know of whom I speak *coughlibertariannutjobsatBTFcough*
I dont think it’s a coincidence that such people are also the world’s most diehard statheads.
There’s a lot of blood on the mad doctor’s hands, but I agree Chile was awful too.
This is very true. I just believe that the way to begin to get true international condemnation, the way to get from “Former Secratary of State” to “War Criminal and Murderer” is to hang the one real clear event, the one that DEFINESs the criminal around his neck and get all the people in the world, including Americans who only read people magazine at the Barber shop, to automatically make that connection. Gawd knows Ariel Sharon has been responsible for horrendous crimes over the decades, but I always try and get him directly identified with Chabra and Shatila for the same reason. When forced to accept the reality that these thugs are going to escape justice, all I have left is an (admittedly uphill) attempt to strip away their respectability and make the world, no just us few nerds, aware of their crimes.
Star Wars nerds ruined Star Wars. Trekkies ruined Star Trek. The legions of Spin-reading, Pavement-worshiping fucktards in the 90s ruined indie rock. And statheads have ruined baseball; Bill James’s followers ruined Bill James. Christians ruined Xtianity. Muslims ruined Islam. Etc etc.
HAH!! That’s brilliant!! I’m putting you on notice right here, Sr. Montalban, I’m going to simply blatantly steal that line. I’m going to use it in conversation, in many contexts, regularly, and without attribution. Just thought you should know. And in a way, maybe it IS a bit like indie rock, or some particular genre of music that you used to really like but has just been RUINED by the radio and record industry. Just as sometimes, even then, a particular riff or lyric or song can transport you, the elegance and grace of of a well-turned 6-4-3 double play or a game-winning squeeze bunt in the eleventh will always remind you of the love and simple joy of baseball, still probably the best way to spend an afternoon in the whole bloody world…
mikey
are you talking about a certain orioles fan by any chance?
>What will it take to get people to associate Kissinger with his greatest and most horrific crime, the overthrow of the Allende government [in Chile]?
And what is the anniversary of the US-sponsored overthrow of democracy in Chile, everybody?
9/11 …
Henry Kissinger is a pseudo-intellectual and a fraud. “Kissinger the great diplomat” was just a character, a media creation, like “Reagan the Great Comminicator,” “George W. Bush, the resolute decider,” “McCain the maverick.”
It was all bullshit, spread around like manure by the so-called liberal media.
I keep seeing “Scalia, the great legal scholar,” but you know better if you’ve read him.
And what does the so-called Liberal Media do to Democrats when the time comes to create a “Character”? We get “Al Gore the pathological liar”.
Thanks a lot, Liberal Media!
“Henry Kissinger
How I’m missing yer
You’re the doctor of my dreams
With your crinkly hair and your glassy stare
And your machiavellian Schemes
I know they say that you are very vain
And short and fat and pushy but at least you’re not insane
Henry Kissinger
How I’m missing yer
And wishing you were here
Henry Kissinger
How I’m missing yer
You’re so chubby and so neat
With your funny clothes and your squishy nose
You’re like a German Paroquet
All right so people say that you don’t care
But you’ve got nicer legs than Hitler
And bigger tits than Cher
Henry Kissinger
How I’m missing yer
And wishing you were here”
this thread Godwined by Eric Idle.
[…] Consider this: [Seymour] Hersh, though, does tell a story at Kissinger’s expense, but I doubt that the Doctor will find it all that amusing. In September 1970, at about the time when he was urging that the Sixth Fleet be used to plaster the Palestinians (and just imagine how much nearer that would have brought a peace agreement), Kissinger charged into the office of H.R. Haldeman. He bore with him a folder of the now-traditional aerial-reconnaissance photographs which depicted various structures on the island of Cuba. “It’s a Cuban seaport, Haldeman, and these pictures show the Cubans are building soccer fields… These soccer fields could mean war, Bob.â€? Haldeman inquired for more details of the doctor’s signs and portents. “Cubans play baseball. Russians play soccer.â€? From this meeting, Kissinger cranked up the United States to a condition approaching full alert, until even Nixon realized that it was a false alarm. Unrepentant in his memoirs, Kissinger himself says that “in my eyes this stamped it indelibly as a Russian base, since as an old soccer fan I knew the Cubans played no soccer.â€? They do, of course, very enthusiastically. The World Cup is a big event in Cuba, and any visitor can testify to the popularity of the game. I’m retelling the story at such length because it illustrates several things about Kissinger that often escape comment. First, his singular faith in his own judgement, and his peremptory way with subordinates. Second, his love of crisis and drama — one might say his need for these things. Third, his ingratiating pseudodemotic style (â€?as an old soccer fan,â€? forsooth). Finally, his ignorance. Cuba, it seems, joins that roster of less imposing cultures, a nearby country of which he knows nothing. […]