Catchphrase: FAIL
Posted on April 19th, 2010 by
Sadly, No! favorite and friend Ross Douthat attempts to coin a new catchphrase while working extra hard to avoid using ours:
Has Benedict done enough to clean house and show contrition? Alas, no.
FAIL.
Sadly, Nein!
I guess he won’t Douthat.
Ross fails in everythign in his little life….
Douthat’s recent output includes a column about priests boning altar boys and a blog post titled Toward a Hung Parliament. It appears that Ross has a certain something (i.e. PENIS) on the mind, and by a certain something (i.e. PENIS) I mean PENIS.
So it’s true that in spring, a young conservative’s fancy turns to thoughts of PENIS.
Regrettably, negative!
Unfortunately, not!
Douthatly, Ben!
So it’s true that in
springschwing, a young conservative’s fancy turns to thoughts of PENIS.Fixed!
Wholly, shit!
Lamentably, nay!
Tragically, denied.
Melancholicaly, contraindicated.
However, a detailed examination of the actual conditions reveals an unwanted disconnect with the aformentioned optimal situation.
Morosely, nope.
FYI: SN! is the second thing that comes up when you Google the word “no.”
Schadenfreudily, unlikely.
Woefully, nuh uh.
For zrm: Wait, Wait! Don’t Eat Me!
Sorrily, Not!
Schadelich, Nein!
Cheerlessly, no way!
We have a catchphrase? Is it an internets tradition?
Anyways, I’m on a deadline so I disclaim everything in advance.
Oh, BTW – happy “The Citizen Militias Are Just a Bunch Of Harmless Boy-Scouts And Talk Radio Is Just Talk Day”.
I really really hope I’m not right about the teabaggers being V2.0 of this shit.
Step up to the plate Ann Althouse!
With death, but you know, it’s all just politics.
Ross-FAIL = redundant, and saying the same thing twice.
Maestiter, ne!
dolorously, non.
Adlysay, Ohnay.
Also, you know who else had a birthday tomorrow?
Sedih, tidak ada!
And the first if you googlez sadly.
Althouse: “Oh! It’s a memorial for human beings who died 15 years ago. We are remembering them, and that brings Bill Clinton, who was President in 1995, to the fore. There was nothing partisan about who lived and died in the Oklahoma City bombing. Children — individuals who never thought about politics — died that day.”
GO FUCKING FUCK YOURSELF, ALTHOUSE. Fucking seriously. What the fuck is “partisan” about telling people not to be violent, you Paula-Deen-looking, boxed-wine-drinking asshole?
(Apologies to Paula Deen, who is annoying as shit but does not deserve to be associated in any way with Althouse).
PS: Methinks the lady doth protest too much, no?
Teh Heritigy place:
“Uh yeah, back when we proposed pretty much everything that’s in Obamacare, we fucked up. Now watch this mulligan!”
Some conservative dude:
Holder iz blaxs0r gives me butthurt.
Daily K-Lo:
We can’t have two dark people talk to each other.
And the first if you googlez sadly.
Y’all are collaborating with the Sochulist Google to get your rantings at the top of these searches, aren’t you?
With death, but you know, it’s all just politics.
Althouse puts on a clinic in projection and stupidity. Good job, girl. My only suggestion would be to try giving sober writing a shot someday.
Who says Mr. Chunky-Witherspoon can’t write well? He’s adept at:
Imagery – The drip, drip, drip of sex abuse cases from Benedict’s past
Use of metaphors – The more recent smoking guns, though, offer more smoke than fire.
Subtle innuendo – Catholicism needed the magnetic John Paul, master of bold gestures and moving acts of penance.
My only suggestion would be to try giving sober writing a shot someday.
She’d actually smell the crap she makes in her pants, then.
magnetic John Paul
Was he the north Pole or the south Paul?
try giving sober writing a shot someday.
I think Kerouac’s greatest novel was written when he had the DTs, so who knows what Althouse could churn out?
Apologies to Paula Deen, who is annoying as shit
If you’d ever tasted how much salt she puts into the swill she serves you’d probably be less likely to apologize to her. Her shop has delivered food to this office that included butter beans (lima beans for you non-Southerners) with ham hocks. The damn beans were saltier than the ham… I loathe the bitch. (Don’t get me started on her accent, which gets thicker and thicker and thicker and phonier and phonier and phonier.)
neither. he was the elusive magnetic monopaul.
who knows what Althouse could churn out?
I see what you do here.
She’d actually smell the crap she makes in her pants, then.
And probably discover those delicious biscuits she’s been eating were coasters.
Don’t get me started on her accent, which gets thicker and thicker and thicker and phonier and phonier and phonier.
RIGHT? She’s like the Sarah Palin of the fucking South.
And yeah, her food looks disgusting. No, Paula, those biscuits do not need butter, cheese, AND mayonnaise on them.
thicker and thicker and thicker and phonier and phonier and phonier.
Veiled phone-sex PENIS.
And probably discover those delicious biscuits she’s been eating were coasters.
Biscuit synchronicity!
And probably discover those delicious biscuits she’s been eating were coasters.
Biscuit synchronicity!
She was just Jung and restless and bored.
Douthat, try this:
Woe, to my readers.
or
Somehow, I get paid for this.
or
Someone, stop him.
or
Immadoosh?, yes.
And yeah, her food looks disgusting.
I used to be amused by her show because of the endless supply of butter and crap she put in her recipes. Then one day it quit being funny.
No, Paula, those biscuits do not need butter, cheese, AND mayonnaise on them.
She has a cardiologist prepped and ready for the angioplasty on stage left during every show.
Then one day it quit being funny.
FRUIT COCKTAIL? EWWWWWW. That offends me much more than donut bread pudding.
Actually, I think donut bread pudding could be kind of good. You’d need stale donuts, of course, and I think cake donuts would be better.
Nigella Lawson has a chocolate croissant bread pudding recipe that I tried back in the day, and it was fucking amazing. It’s on my list of top five most delicious things ever.
And condensed milk, too? Gross, Paula. Gross.
OTT, but 15th anniversary of the Murrah Building renovation. Will the conservative info-bubble (blogosphere, Limbaughgosphere, et cet) be commemorating the day, or are they going to turn to other topics, such as the unparalleled evil of Obama? I ask this as someone who isn’t going to be tuning in to find out. Heard that McVeigh got extreme unction before they gave him the hot shot, so he’ll be waiting for us in Catholic Heaven.
No, Paula, those biscuits do not need butter, cheese, AND mayonnaise on them.
Wonder why the South leads the country in cases of adult-onset diabetes?
Wonder no more.
At least it’s good buisness for the pharmacy, what with the Lipitor and insulin and gemfibrozil and metformin and statins and all like that there.
Nigella Lawson
*swoooon*
AND she’s got some meat on her. WHAT. A. WOMAN.
Will the conservative info-bubble (blogosphere, Limbaughgosphere, et cet) be commemorating the day, or are they going to turn to other topics, such as the unparalleled evil of Obama?
Or both?
Is she hammered the whole time she’s on stage, or just slow? I’ve only seen her a few times, but she cracks me up acting drunk and getting jiggy, and eyefucking all the young men on the show.
Is she hammered the whole time she’s on stage, or just slow? I’ve only seen her a few times, but she cracks me up acting drunk and getting jiggy, and eyefucking all the young men on the show.
I seriously thought you were talking about Althouse for at least a full minute.
I Would Do Anything For Love (But I Won’t Douthat)
Douthat möchte Screiber sein
ist er fähig? Schade, nein.
Douthat’s talk of a hung parliament inevitably calls to mind Harry Hutton’s classic post “She Gasped As His Parliamentary Mace Sprang Loose“.
I seriously thought you were talking about Althouse for at least a full minute.
Heh! Sorry. I was talking about the Duchess Paula. But it’s sort of cool when you find a statement that you can insert either name and have it work.
And condensed milk, too? Gross, Paula. Gross.
Are you kidding? Deen puts melted butter on her houseplants when she waters them.
At least it’s good buisness for the pharmacy, what with the Lipitor and insulin and gemfibrozil and metformin and statins and all like that there.
And grapefruit juice!
I Would Do Anything For Love (But I Won’t Douthat)
Ahem
I’ve been known to watch Paula Deen’s Food Network show in the past, usually just to see if that day will be the day she has a massive coronary on the set, but one time she made something good: Brownies. No, they didn’t have pot in them (easy enough to fix).
They’re just standard brownies, but you only pour half the batter in the baking pan, then gently lay in THREE FUCKING HUGE SYMPHONY CHOCOLATE BARS on the batter, then cover them. (Symphony bars are the Hershey’s bars with chunks of toffee in them.) Bake normally.
They’re really quite tasty, if a bit much. I like to make them whenever there’s any sort of work potluck, just to watch the “oh, no, I shouldn’t, I’m watching my figure” folks say “but maybe I’ll have just one” and then the whole batch is gone in five seconds.
Of course, Paula couldn’t stop there, she then pulled out a huge third-pan size brownie, put it on a plate, put vanilla ice cream on it, smothered it in whipped cream, and then put a sprig of mint on top. Yeah Paula, a brownie with a chocolate bar in the middle is just not quite rich enough, put some more crap on it, perhaps a drizzle of melted butter too. At least you added the mint for your daily serving of vegetables though.
sprig of mint on top
Parsely and mint: rednecks’ idea of salads.
I took a light swing at him, while throwing a nasty uppercut at the biggest dick on the internet North Dallas Thirty:
Comments?
Comments?
I can smell the burning hair from here.
This is the wrong fucking thread.
The drip, drip, drip of sex abuse cases from Benedict’s past
Can be treated now with PENIScillin.
I’m afraid it’s even worse.
I saw this at Barnes & Noble this weekend, in Savannah.
I blinked so hard in disbelief I almost lost a contact lens.
To express less than optimal results from the endeavour, the answer is in the negatory.
toexpresslessthanoptimalresultsfromtheendeavourtheanswerisinthenegatory.com
Atlas No’d.
Drearily, it is untrue.
K sozhaleniyu, nyet.
ZOMG! He really said, “The drip, drip, drip of sex abuse cases from Benedict’s past …” Un-fucking-believable.
Mordantly, Nope!
But he swears he only got it from a toilet-seat – no, really, honest!
After which most people with a functioning conscience would immediately resign, wisely refusing to associate with such an odious gang of criminal shitheels – & start looking for media exposure to raise the pressure on them to do the right thing. Ratzo Teh Magic Hitlerjugend Pope shrugged & went back to passing the collection-plate.
Unhappily, Nuh-Uh!
The drip, drip, drip of sex abuse cases from Benedict’s past
EW.
Leider, nicht!
Ungluecklicherweise, Nein!
Miserabile, haud
Beda?rinde, Neniu(j)!
Bedaŭrinde, Neniu(j)!
See, it’s funny if you repeat it.*
*FYWP
In the 1990s, it was Ratzinger who pushed for a full investigation […] only to have his efforts blocked in the Vatican.
From the wording there you’d almost think that Ratzinger was not part of the Vatican at the time, but rather was a brave Quixotic outsider.
Is Douthat writing anything apart from a series of apologia for Ratzinger’s career of cover-ups? — each excuse becoming “no longer operative” (as they used to say in the Watergate days) as a new story comes to light of the then-Cardinal’s skills as a bagman, and requiring replacement with a new rationale?
I mean, is the NYT paying him to work as a full-time Vatican apologist? I would have thought that they could get the propaganda straight from the Vatican for free, and probably it would be expressed in better English.
“The drip, drip, drip of sex abuse cases from Benedict’s past …”
Shot of penicillin will clear that up.