The Whole Of The Oof1
Hello Internet, whatcha knowing? We’ve come to watch Con Yankee D’oh!ing.
Confederate Yankee, Confederate Yankee:
Obama Questions Palin’s Nuclear WisdomHe simply doesn’t know when to shut up:
We used to know somebody like that, but then he shut oh no he’s back.
Adam Yoshida, AdamYoshida.com:
The Moral Case for Supervillainy(The following is an extended excerpt from something I’m working on – kind of a Galt speech for a character. Basic concept – a real life sort of “Bond Villain” who runs an ‘evil’ corporation that tries to overthrown foreign governments and the like for profit and that is building a SuperWeapon on its island. What I think of this really depends on my mood).
Yoshida is so right-wing, Galt is going him.
I see that Mr. Aristophanes has already dealt with this particular Confederate Yankee jaunt, with the Obama and the Palin and the so forth. But there’s an interesting story in how this post began with one thing and led to another and so on, and someday perhaps it will be known.
One thing, though, is that it’s been a while since Constant Reader2 has seen the fireplug-looking ping on the radar that denotes an attempt toward relevance by Mark Levin. So when the following piece turned up someplace a couple days ago, it was like 2008 all over again — which is to say, I got all into it before noticing that the piece actually was from 2008. I mean, but hey.
Mark Levin, The Corner:
The Obama TemptationI’ve been thinking this for a while so I might as well air it here.
Ew, Mark! Woo. Holy God, I’m gonna go crack a window.3
I honestly never thought we’d see such a thing in our country – not yet anyway – but I sense what’s occurring in this election is a recklessness and abandonment of rationality that has preceded the voluntary surrender of liberty and security in other places. I can’t help but observe that even some conservatives are caught in the moment as their attempts at explaining their support for Barack Obama are unpersuasive and even illogical.
I read that paragraph three times, and then just a moment ago I stopped typing and read it again, and I think Levin is saying that Obama is going to Anschluss America like Hitler ange… um, like he ist or rather hat ein…uh, or probably einer Anschluss gehaben, uh, mit Austria. Only Obama is going to… Wait. Does one anschlussen something or schlussen it an?
I’m just going to bust in here for a moment. When people say we’d all be speaking German today if not for some wartime tactical mishap, some weather event or Allied codebreaking triumph, I think I probably wouldn’t. I think I’d be pointing at things and going “arrr!” a lot, barring some pedagogical miracle of the nature of von Braun’s breakthroughs in rocketry.
I also think there are probably tons of people in Germany and surrounding nests of the German language — places where the ‘we’d be speaking German today’ threat was imperfectly averted — who do just that, struggling under the stigma of mental disability when the only thing wrong is that one day they began a sentence such as “Wenn er aber auf der Strasse der in Sammt und Seide gehüllten jetzt sehr ungenirt nach der neusten Mode gekleideten Regierungsräthin…” and the verb never came.4
There is a cult-like atmosphere around Barack Obama, which his campaign has carefully and successfully fabricated, which concerns me. The messiah complex. Fainting audience members at rallies. Special Obama flags and an Obama presidential seal.
Levin is like one of those people, except instead of pointing and going “arrr!” he’s best imagined as perpetually spinning in his chair with stubby legs out and sock feet wafting, braying like Danny DeVito in Batman Returns. And instead of a verb never arriving it was vindication.
A graphic with the portrayal of the globe and Obama’s name on it, which adorns everything from Obama’s plane to his street literature. Young school children singing songs praising Obama. Teenagers wearing camouflage outfits and marching in military order chanting Obama’s name and the professions he is going to open to them.
That’s scary, because you’d see these disembodied teenager heads floating by with swinging disembodied hands, and you’d be like “OH MY GOD! What happened to their…” then you’d be like, “Oh right, camouflage.” But that first few seconds would be super-scary, especially if they were singing some scary song for teenagers to be marching around singing, like for instance “O-ba-ma-ma-ma, me-be-a-trial-law-yah, O-ba-ma-ma-ma hey-ey-ey-ey-ah. Oh yes, the country version. No, because it’s like those low rider cars with the custom hydraulics that bounce up and down at stoplights. It’s funny at first, but then you realize: If someone will do that, then what the hell else are they capable of?
An Obama world tour, culminating in a speech in Berlin where Obama proclaims we are all citizens of the world. I dare say, this is ominous stuff.
Three things I’ve learned as an adult: Nuff never said half those things, sometimes Will says fire at you, and Say has amply proven himself. Let’s rejoin Confederate Yankee, and with rejoinders withal:
He simply doesn’t know when to shut up:
We used to know someone like that, but one day the bell said “ding-dong,” and on the doorstep was a +8 Cheetah Skin of Knowing, alas.
President Barack Obama on Thursday made clear he was not going to take advice from Republican Sarah Palin when it comes to decisions about the U.S. nuclear arsenal.
Palin, the former vice presidential candidate, has not been shy about criticizing Obama’s policies and this week weighed in on his revamped nuclear strategy, saying it was like a child in a playground who says ‘punch me in the face, I’m not going to retaliate.’
“I really have no response to that. The last I checked, Sarah Palin is not much of an expert on nuclear issues,” Obama said in an interview with ABC News.
Palin’s view of nuclear weapons was shaped by her stint as the commander in chief of the Alaskan National Guard, our first line of defense against Soviet nuclear weapons. Obama has held his same views since he was a stoner college student and has showed no signs of maturing.
Which of the two would you trust?
Well, I’d have to say that I… Wait a second here, the Soviet Union collapsed in 1991.
Update: I stand corrected. Palin does not have any experience with the AANG. The 49th Missile Defense Battalion AANG, Fort Greely is (literally) the first line of defense against Soviet nukes with 25-30 anti-ICBMs, but they do not report to the governor.
Uh-huh, and the second line of defense against Soviet nukes is the not-existing of any of them. Wait a second here, the Alaska Air National Guard has 25-30 anti-ICBM whats, exactly?
Prediction: Being wrong doesn’t make Our Mr. Yankee any less right.
Obama? Still utterly untrustworthy, and getting more so every day.
Update: And she zings Dear Leader… again:
Ach, too predictable. Let’s try another.
Confederate Yankee, ConfederateYankee.com:
So Who Really is More Dangerous for America?A fraudulent showman who twists people’s emotions with falsehoods in order to get rich as Bob Cesca alleges, or a radicalized neophyte ideologue with his own extensive record of fraudulent and deceptive statements and a residence at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue?
Well, this is more of a challenge. Is one of them Obama?
1 Cf. Waterboys.
3 Not one of your cheek-flappy rooty-toots, either, but a full-throated, indeed double-barreled whapper-dapper of a trouser rouser.
4 The verb dragging from the end of this sentence, if Twain is not making things up again, is begegnet.
the verb never came.
Always a tragedy, but at least the sentence is sans wet spot.
Fort Greely is (literally) the first line of defense against Soviet nukes with 25-30 anti-ICBMs
“Fixed defenses are monuments to the stupidity of man” – George S. Patton
Not one of your cheek-flappy rooty-toots, either, but a full-throated, indeed double-barreled whapper-dapper of a trouser rouser.
Let too many of those go, and you’ve shat a perfectly good pair of pants.
Man, I wish there were a way to insert these assholes into the alternate reality where McCain won the election and croaked right after the inauguration leaving Palin in charge.
OK, maybe that’s cruel but I haven’t had my daily dose of caffeine and I’m cranky.
and the verb never came
What if we threw a war and the verb never came?
Delayed verbgasm is frustrating, but what if someone drops dead in the middle of a sentence before saying nicht? Then you’re not just confused, you’d take the complete opposite meaning.
Sorry, what? My head just exploded from the dissonance of a Waterboys reference and a Paul Simon reference in such close proximity.
Oh noes, I left out Art. Sorry, dude.
Oh noes, I left out Art.
You and every public school in the country, sister.
I () how many islands this cruise () to look at, I am the boat not out of () don’t care stops getting. No mangoes.
Not a big surprise, with foreplay like that.
Doesn’t TIDOS Wankee have a federal building to blow up somewhere?
And despite this Bobo Wens goof being laughed at non-stop for hours – let’s take a look at it again:
BWAaaAHAHahahhahHAHAHAHhhaHAAA…*breath*…BWWaaAAHAHAhaHAhahahAHAHA!!!one111!!*wipes tears from eyes*!!1
Off-topic, but if anyone buys this for me, I will be their BFF for, like, EVER.
Damn you, Till! Here I was thinking that since it was Sunday morning everyone else with their minds in the gutter would be asleep or in church.
For additional guffaws, check out the comment thread in that new Bobo Wens’ post:
O_o <BWAaAAaaHaHhahaHAHahaHAAHAHAH!!!lol!111!!2!!!!
If being wrong is wrong, I don’t want to be right.
Sich mit ebbes anschliessen, isn’t it? Fuck, my German’s rusty.
And Bo-Bo is a Fotze. Auch.
Sich mit ebbes anschliessen, isn’t it? Fuck, my German’s rusty.
Wait, wait, I think I know this joke.
“The peanut was a-salted.”
Ja?
My hovercraft is full of eels.
The anti-ICBMs might be anti-nuke nukes. The idea is, you detonate a nuclear weapon high in the atmosphere as an ICBM is passing by and fry its electronics so it can’t detonate. Nobody knows if it actually works and you end up killing your own radar installations (to say nothing of civilian electrical appliances) into the bargain.
My hovercraft is full of eels.
I still say, that with the right book for a prop, and with John Cleese’s delivery of the line, “if I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me” would fucking work as a pick-up line.
we’d all be speaking German today if not for
That’s not my department.
Let’s be honest, the Obamania phenomenon, especially between election and inauguration time, was a little ridiculous. I get that he’s not Bush and that’s a wonderful thing, and I get that electing a black president was a huge deal in the United States, but still, so much wild enthusiasm over someone we barely knew, and who hadn’t had a chance to do anything extraordinary yet? Hey, I voted for the guy, but I still thought some of the movement was silly.
Throw enough bullets in the target’s general direction, hope one of them hits the actual target and shrug at the collateral damage. Sounds like Palin foreign policy all right.
Let’s be honest, the Obamania phenomenon, especially between election and inauguration time, was a little ridiculous.
Let’s be a bit further honest in that your concerns regarding the phenomena being kind of kitschy and ridiculous, is nowhere near Levin’s concern that it was the start of a new Hitler Youth.
Also, being brought up in the 90s, my only pictures of a “black president” were either Morgan Freeman or Deebo from Friday being left with the bag when a giant catastrophuck meteaor or planet-devouring space monster were coming to destroy Earth.
That Barack Obama was a) young, b) not Deebo from Friday and c) only being left with the bag when a giant catastrophuck of a financial crisis was coming to sodomize America; were all a significant improvement from the media-created image of the first black President.
I still say, that with the right book for a prop, and with John Cleese’s delivery of the line, “if I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me” would fucking work as a pick-up line.
You must be really young son because I’ve seen this line used dozens of times without any success. I don’t remember any books used as props and it could be that gals your age might be unfamiliar with the routine, hence, YMMV. Give it a try though. It would be a good band challenge to see who could be the first one to score using nothing but this as an opener. (Hint: bet on the bass player)
Update: And she zings Dear Leader… again:
And I would think the response to that should be: “She simply doesn’t know when to shut up.”
Fear of a Barack Planet.
Also, point one of them there nukes at Vera Cruz, too. You never know when the great great grandson of Pancho Villa will ride into Texas. We must be prepared to instantly retaliate for every slight suffered in our past, and when we’re elected that’s what you’ll get!
“recklessness and abandonment of rationality that has preceded the voluntary surrender of liberty and security in other places.”
Which happened with George Bush, Homeland Security, warrantless wiretapping, etc., etc., etc.
Well, yes. I’m perfectly satisfied that Obama isn’t a threat to our freedoms, I’m just saying…
Movie trivia in my wheelhouse! James Earl Jones played the President in “The Man” which I liked but critics panned (Burgess Meredith the bad guy, a racist southern senator)and then “Putney Swope” ended with the Presidency (didn’t see it).
Well, one can be voted away.
Where did this whole one-world government phobia come from? Was it Left Behind, or earlier like some Birch Society tract?
The anti-ICBMs might be anti-nuke nukes.
Bobo Wens Is, at this very moment, hard at “work” on an Anti-Anti-Missile-Missile Missile. The only breaks he takes are when his lust/crush/hard-on for Natasha gets the best of him, and he has to take matters in hand.
Bobo Wens Is, …
I guess for consistency (or verb/subject agreement, or somethin’), I should have called him Confederate Yanker.
We see Brigadoon. they see the Crescent. Everywhere.
I still say, that with the right book for a prop, and with John Cleese’s delivery of the line, “if I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me” would fucking work as a pick-up line.
Oh, dude, I don’t know about that. I’d imagine that a) 1 out of about 100 women would get it, and b) an even smaller number would respond to it.
Also, maybe the female Monty Python nerd contingent behave differently where you live, but in my experience, we tend to avoid scenes that require pick-up lines and if we are there, we are listening to our iPods and studiously avoiding any conversation. You’re better off making snarky remarks about the idiots surrounding you, IMHO, though that is also a strategy that could backfire.
Though *maybe* if it were a Hodgman book and/or a Reagan family paper doll book, it would work…
I think it was a reaction to the international nature of socialism; the upper class blew it into a monstrous conspiracy to create a one-world government, thus playing right into the nationalist and racial fears of a lot of their electorate. Since then, various people have been simply picking up the paranoid threat and adding their own variations.
Off-topic, but if anyone buys this for me, I will be their BFF for, like, EVER.
ILLUSTRATIONS BY AL KILLGORE! ZOMG!
a radicalized neophyte ideologue
Awful awful awful.
Ideologues are by definition radicalized. And the neophyte? I don’t think he means it to describe ideologue, since all wingnuts in good standing claim that Obama was radicalized since birth (maybe even before!) by his mother and grandparents (and his father too, if his father really is Malcolm X). I’m guessing neophyte is a reference to the number of years Obama has held elected office compared with the number of years Beck has been on morning zoo radio and performance art television. Which of course is a spot-on equivalence.
And don’t forget, Palin’s experience as a smalltown mayor! That trumps working on nuclear disarmament with Richard Lugar.
The fact is, their is proof that Obama is a socialism and also with the far left Marxists like Malcolm X and Hitler, he was not born in USA and he is the agent provatuer of the international movement to loot the sucessful nations of the world and spread the wealth around, HE SAID THAT HIMSLEF. Now liberals may apologise for him and even say he is actually conervative but no he is the hardest farthist left president EVER and is leading USA to the SOCIALISM and using biased left media and leaving God out, also did you know he used drugs and had sex with a man in alimo for money and is trying to hyde it, yes the MSM cover it up but we have the truth hear in the heartland.
Fake Gary is less than entertaining.
The fact is, did you know that Michelle Obama hates America, or unleast until her husband took over, and that she has big arms and is a lesbian? The health care and the socialism is for taking money from white people and giving it tolazy black people to buy there votes and keep them dependants on the welfare and to keep marxists in power while the productive go Galt becaus eh have no reason to produce with the parasytes taking it all and destroying America.
a man in alimo
Davy Crockett?
“The fact is, their is proof that Obama is a socialism and also with the far left Marxists like Malcolm X and Hitler, he was not born in USA and he is the agent provatuer of the international movement to loot the sucessful nations of the world and spread the wealth around,”
As opposed to the successful nations of the world becoming successful by looting everyone else? Shocking, and outrageous!
The fact is, when Palin takes over USA by vote or by rallying patriots and the military to stop mthe yousurtpion of the the consitution, whatever works if you ask me and remove the forien liberal cancer of socialism, you liberals will be going to camp, I can’t wait.
“As opposed to the successful nations of the world becoming successful by looting everyone else? Shocking, and outrageous!”
That’s class war and you now it.
I myself have had just about enough of It behooving me all the time.
T&U wrote:
Off-topic, but if anyone buys this for me, I will be their BFF for, like, EVER.
That was a NSFH site — I have a two-year-old, dammit!
Woman, if anyone bought that for me — or WarriorBabyGirl — I’d nuke them from orbit. Six or seven times, just to be sure.
The “R” word is an expletive in the Toaster household, and HerrDoktorToaster asks cabbies to take him back to the “Butcher of Guatemala Airport” when he’s sent to DC.
One worldism is okay if the one is a nice corporation. Don’t be mean. Corporations are people, too, and if they try hard and pull themselves up by your bootstraps, then why shouldn’t one run the world?
They should make a class warfare RTS.
Sometimes the envelope pushes me.
Fake Gary –
That’s some industrial strength incoherence ya got goin’ there (you betcha!), but you’re (or, just fer you, “your”) no Floyd Alvis Cooper.
Indeed it is. Being waged by the successful nations against the unsuccessful ones.
I honestly never thought we’d see such a thing in our country – not yet anyway – but I sense what’s occurring in this election is a recklessness and abandonment of rationality that has preceded the voluntary surrender of liberty and security in other places.
He wrote this in 2004, right? Right?
So Who Really is More Dangerous for America?
A fraudulent showman who twists people’s emotions with falsehoods in order to get rich … or a radicalized neophyte ideologue with his own extensive record of fraudulent and deceptive statements and a residence at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue?
Man, these guys are projection MACHINES, everything they now say they most hate when they lyingly claim Obama exhibits it is what they loved about Bush, whom they praised and defended as if he were a king.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/us_congress_jobs
This is cheerful. Apparently, concerns about “fiscal responsibility” trump pretty much everything in today’s government. Which might be nice in the abstract if we weren’t in the middle of the worst recession in years; obsessing about fiscal responsibility when so many people need jobs or assistance is like refusing to buy expensive medicine in the middle of a Black Plague.
Particularly love the Arizona Republican smugly declaring “I think we’re going to see a much greater commitment to fiscal responsibility now” – yeah, because that’s what you guys are known for, isn’t it. Every Republican president we’ve had since the takeover of the party by movement conservatives has made the deficit skyrocket, and he’s done it with unnecessary wars and unnecessary tax cuts. And now that someone actually wants to use the people’s money to help the people for the first time in God knows how long, suddenly you’re some kind of fiscal hawks. Yeah. Right.
…and the verb never came.
Not a big surprise, with foreplay like that.
You kidding? The pre-verb foreplay in that sentence is extensive, and with all that talk of “velvet and silk” and “on the street” and “shamelessly,” well, if that verb never came it’s because it had slipped out for a cold shower.
Only Nixon can go to China, and only a democrat can balance the budget.
Woman, if anyone bought that for me — or WarriorBabyGirl — I’d nuke them from orbit. Six or seven times, just to be sure.
Oh, sorry. I thought the sock garters and patriotic underwear were funny. Too soon?
HerrDoktorToaster asks cabbies to take him back to the “Butcher of Guatemala Airport” when he’s sent to DC.
Oooh, I like it. Much better than my strategy of calling it National and pretending like I have no idea what people are talking about when they call it R3@#@! National.
This is cheerful.
If you’re some kind of weird masochist. *cry*
There is a cult-like atmosphere around Barack Obama, which his campaign has carefully and successfully fabricated, which concerns me. The messiah complex. Fainting audience members at rallies. Special Obama flags and an Obama presidential seal.
How awful. Why can’t they just have billboards all over the highways saying “BARACK OBAMA, OUR COMMANDER IN CHIEF”, and light all his official photos so that he appears to have a halo around his head, like real American leaders do?
LOL. I have a roommate that does that.
You kidding?
Sure, a lot of good elements – but delivery is key. And with all them guttural u’s and k’s and ch’s. Gehüllten by itself is almost enough to kill a boner – and I’m a big proponent of “no glove no love”.
Unless you’re into saliva-play.
Seriously,who are these obamabots I can’t even find any on the internet let alone in real life.
I think a lot of liberals, even those who really like Obama, feel the pressure to “prove” that they’re not just blindly worshiping Obama as the Republicans and Tea Partiers keep accusing them of.
So not-blind-worship is central to the point of blind worship.
I mean, I feel like if you’re going to be a pundit you should try to stay above the whole “They disagree with me even though I proved them wrong, they must be subservient sheep!” With conservatives this is pretty pandemic. But it also really bothers me with Glenn Greenwald.
anti-ICBMs
I imagine, somewhere in the Alaskan wilderness, silos in photographic negative, with shadow missiles lurking inside. When the
SovietsRusskies send the waves of ICBMs over the pole, the antis will be launched, to collide with them and rub them out* in a gigantic matter / antimatter explosion.*veiled masturbation reference
Advice from Big Hollywood:
Therefore James Hudnall.
a man in alimo
Davy C
rockett?Advice from Big Hollywood:
From the comments: “Tina Fey owes her career to Sarah Palin.”
LOLWUT? And Will Ferrell owes his career to George W. Bush, too, I’m sure.
Nobody evidences the masochistic taste for anger among conservatives as much as Mark Levin. Not only does he tend to sound like his head has already exploded, but he does it with a voice that makes sheet metal scraping on concrete sound melodious. And he has an audience for this!
He simply doesn’t know when to shut up
Right, because the best time to shut up is when you’re being interviewed on network television and the interviewer directly poses a question to you.
And you’re the fucking POTUS.
jesus good god fucking christ (yea I’m goin to HELL) Mark Levin’s thing is so horrendous that it should be tagged as infectious waste. Far from there being a cult of Obama, the man is being slammed hard from the extreme right as well as the left–and for good cause for some of his shit in my lefty opinion–so he’s hardly been given a pass on anything, much less being worshipped. Oh such bullshit. And as far as the media they naturally gravitate to power, because there is an obvious symbiotic relationship, and the POTUS has been granted most of the power in our current configuration so the MSM is gonna to be fawning no matter who ‘s the president. Well fucking duh.
Also too, one day I hope to retire and be able to follow all of Gavin’s links and research all of his brilliant puns and allusions but for now I have to just skim the beauteous surface.
HerrDoktorToaster asks cabbies to take him back to the “Butcher of Guatemala Airport” when he’s sent to DC.
Um, is that Dulles or National?
FWIW most DC locals still call it “National”
Um, is that Dulles or National?
Excellent point.
Substance McG –
There’s a theory somewhere that “conservative humor” is an oxymoron. Having now read, thanks to you, three of the “brightest” lights in the conservative comics constellation – Mallard Fillmore, Prickly City, and Hudnall & Lash’s idiocy – it has become painfully clear that the extent of their “wit” is to take some mindless, screaming, vile, vicious anti-liberal or anti-Obama rant, pretty it up, and attempt to pass it off as pithy political comment. When Ted Rall was doing stuff not one-quarter as vile, the Reichtards wanted him in jail for treason. (Yeah, OK, I’m taking poetic license here.)
In a perfect world, some guardian of sanity would find these imbeciles, grab them by the collective throat, and slap them repeatedly until they realized what fucking jerks they are. Unfortunately, the universe would probably end before Breitbart and his soulmates got a clue.
There’s a theory somewhere that “conservative humor” is an oxymoron.
Of course. Any humor that doesn’t subvert the dominant paradigm isn’t funny…it’s just bullying.
On cue, Muir and Hudnall/Lash at the top of Big Hollywood.
Yeah, I forgot Muir. Maybe ’cause his stuff is so amazingly stupid.
Of course. Any humor that doesn’t subvert the dominant paradigm isn’t funny…it’s just bullying.
Well, since – according to the Reichtards – the dominant paradigm is now Islamocommunofascistic socialism, then they must be funny. And we lefties are the bullies (Pelosi and her gavel, Obama going against the wishes of the nation, John Lewis mentioning being called a nigger – bullying tactics all), then I guess Breitbart is perfectly justified.
Now please excuse me for a minute while I go smash my fingers with a 24-oz framing hammer, as punishment for writing that last paragraph.
All conservative humor is humorous, though not in the way it is intended.
On cue…
That’s amazing! Now call for a leaked Johansson-Reynolds sex tape.
Well, since – according to the Reichtards – the dominant paradigm is now Islamocommunofascistic socialism, then they must be funny.
Well, any loss of privilege in these motherfuckers’ world means that they’re being oppressed. Not being able to get away with using racial slurs=LYNCHING.
Yoshida is so right-wing, Galt is going him.
So, has the meme been changed to Going Yosh? That has a real nice ring to it. Like, Timber Challenger Palin.
Looky what I found- an online e-
peenpoll rating for Breitbart from Time for your voting pleasure. I’m amazed they still exist.Is Going Yosh the same as Calling Earl?
Is that like going commando, only fat and wheezy and tripping over your own shoelaces and ending up end-up in a shit moat somewhere?
Forgot the linky to Breiblart popularity poll.
Forgot the linky
I rated for Kaká.
[url=http://www.boingboing.net/2010/04/09/video-pelican-bites.html]FYI[/url]
FYI
Well, any loss of privilege in these motherfuckers’ world means that they’re being oppressed. Not being able to get away with using racial slurs=LYNCHING.
So I guess my random ball-kneeing of repubs must be the equivalent of nucular war.
So I guess my random ball-kneeing of repubs must be the equivalent of nucular war.
I thought that’s why you did it.
Also, making fun of their penises* is totes like the Holocaust.
*Not that I’ve experienced a Republican penis up close. I rely on imagination and anecdotal evidence.
Not that I’ve experienced a Republican penis up close.
One of my great regrets in life is that I’ve never had sex with a woman I hated. Not forced sex, but something like (today) a one-nighter with a good-looking teabagger. I feel as if my experiences are incomplete without that flavor of self-loathing.
I rely on imagination and anecdotal evidence.
Y’know, I’ve never even wondered. Until now. Thanks a lot.
I feel as if my experiences are incomplete without that flavor of self-loathing.
Dude, I have plenty of self-loathing to share with you if you are lacking.
Although I have to say that I have wondered what it would be like to hatefuck a Patrick Bateman-type…I would have to be really, really, REALLY drunk before that could happen, though.
Y’know, I’ve never even wondered. Until now. Thanks a lot.
Oh, sorry. But they’re obviously making up for something, right?
“recklessness and abandonment of rationality that has preceded the voluntary surrender of liberty and security in other places.”
Which happened with George Bush, Homeland Security, warrantless wiretapping, etc., etc., etc.
Unfair. The police state was set up by patriots. The half-assed health care reform was created by fascists.
Although I have to say that I have wondered what it would be like to hatefuck a Patrick Bateman-type…I would have to be really, really, REALLY drunk before that could happen, though.
I stopped buying ipecac, since grudgefucking Ann Coulter is much quicker and easily as effective.
Not that I’ve experienced a Republican penis up close. I rely on imagination and anecdotal evidence.
But…why? For the love of Spag, why?!
I rely on
imaginationa microscope and anecdotal evidenceThere ya go. Fixt.
Ah, well, it doesn’t matter to Cracker Yank if things are true or not. It’s what he believes that’s truly important.
Palin might need help getting dressed every morning, but, she’s a wizard at all things Presidential, because CY believes it’s so. She likely knows less about the AANG or any military affairs, for that matter, than she does about interstellar spaceflight engineering (dilithium crystals are expensive, dammit!).
I used to believe in the tooth fairy and Santa, too, but, not after the age of five or six. For a grown man to believe the equivalent is, well, just kind of embarrassingly revealing.
But…why? For the love of Spag, why?!
I thought everybody did this. Yes? No? Just me?
Are we there yet? I have to go Galt.
Just me?
Speaking only for myself, I try to think as little as possible about Republican reproductive equipment.
All conservative humor is humorous, though not in the way it is intended.
You keep using this…humor. I don’t think it means what you think it does.
I was just thinking about how the Goddamn Batman, while he was in Vietnam, mixed diet cola and fortified wine. You know, Goddam batman ‘Nam tab mad dog.
T&U:
Oh, sorry. I thought the sock garters and patriotic underwear were funny. Too soon?
The rat bastard cost me my financial aid (and I had three younger siblings for my parents to put through school). It’ll be too soon when I’m 93 and doddering.
For you, however, it’ll be fun. I’m sure. I hope.
Woodrowfan:
Um, is that Dulles or National?
FWIW most DC locals still call it “National”
As do I; but I’m kinder to both cabbies and sommeliers than my spouse.
***
OTOH, my daughter may have killed my MacBook right after my previous post (an incident involving a gurgling cod), so I’m pretty sure she’s going to be cruel to politicians and cabbies and sommeliers and waiters. And a foot taller than me when grown.
The fact is, you are all liberal faggots and not funny so shut up.
I have wondered what it would be like to hatefuck a Patrick Bateman-type…I would have to be really, really, REALLY drunk before that could happen, though.
I need to read more carefully. I thought you said “Patrick Buchanan type” and I was going to have to shun you.
In a sane world, someone who said that Palin knows more than Obama about nuclear issues because she was governor of Alaska and that the president should just “shut up”, a responsible and caring friend would take them aside and suggest that they get some professional help. In opposite world, people get payed not only to say this shit, but to repeat as if it’s a real knee-slapper we should all either laugh along with or have a stroke over.
Goddam batman ‘Nam tab mad dog.
LOL
(only palindromic response I could think of off the top. It fits.)
Leave me out of this one. You’re on your own.
Oh, my. What other sorts of pitchers do they make?
Not to mention Catchers.
…a good-looking teabagger.
Don’t get out much, do you? Should she also excel at short-form spelling and grammar?
I was just thinking about how the Goddamn Batman, while he was in Vietnam, mixed diet cola and fortified wine. You know, Goddam batman ‘Nam tab mad dog.
Nasty stuff, gives you air-raid diarria.
Obama flag? Does he mean the flag that turned out to be the flag of Ohio?
This is good.
John Derbyshire gets invited to a panel at UPenn law school to talk about racial disparities in education & employment, and he responds that, hey, just so you know, I’m of the opinion that blacks’ failure to achieve is biologically determined, ’cause of, you know, Africa ‘n shit.
Yes. Exactly what “one” would expect to observe when starting with the assumption that the blackies are all a bunch of African young buck primitives.
Ladies & gentlemen, I give you , John Derbyshire, racial expert in paleoanthropology with a specialty in Riemannian mathematics and National Review screeds.
Shorter: ‘Sorry n***ers, but Nature dealt you Hamites the wrong deal, not me, so, yeah, I’ll have fries with that, darkies!’
Nasty stuff, gives you air-raid diarria.
Heh.
Ladies & gentlemen, I give you , John Derbyshire
This latest fargument from the Derb has restored to me the white-hot hatred that filled a corner of my soul throughout CheneyBushCo. Thanks, Derb. I hadn’t even realized I missed it.
Your reaction is biological, and is entirely what one would expect to see from people from where ever it is you’re from. And shut up, also too.
Coming Soon:
Larry Flynt’s Teabagger Magazine featuring Teabagger of the Month
Ladies & gentlemen, I give you , John Derbyshire
EW.
Palin’s view of nuclear weapons was shaped by her stint as the commander in chief of the Alaskan National Guard, our first line of defense against Soviet nuclear weapons. Obama has held his same views since he was a stoner college student and has showed no signs of maturing.
Which of the two would you trust?
…
Update: I stand corrected. Palin does not have any experience with the AANG. The 49th Missile Defense Battalion AANG, Fort Greely is (literally) the first line of defense against Soviet nukes with 25-30 anti-ICBMs, but they do not report to the governor.
Hee hee hee!
Ha ha tigris, no backsies!
Ladies & gentlemen, I give you , John Derbyshire
You keep it. If I wanted a big pile of shit, I would get a few big dogs
Seriously? It looks, you know, used. Why else is it so dirty and rumpled? If I can’t return it, I’m regifting this mofo.
Ladies & gentlemen, I give you , John Derbyshire
Ah, the phrenology gambit. That shit never gets old, now does it?
Shorter Derb: “They ain’t white, they ain’t bright!”
You keep it. If I wanted a big pile of shit, I would get a few big dogs
Nah. You want a horse. A big one.
Update: I stand corrected. Palin does not have any experience with the AANG. The 49th Missile Defense Battalion AANG, Fort Greely is (literally) the first line of defense against Soviet nukes with 25-30 anti-ICBMs, but they do not report to the governor.
They do not report to the governor of Colorado. Or Alaska for that matter. And first line? That would be the ballistic missile subs that patrol for three months at a time out nearer the shores of those who would nuke us. And none of those motherfuckers are based in Alaska (or Colorado) and they don’t serve under the command of the governor either.
TiDoS Wankee has layers of stupid welded on to a core of pure moron alloy.
The missile battalion at Ft. Greely reports to the mayor of Greely. Duh.
as an alien here, I’m curious: all the comments on ConfYankee’s Palin post went- where, exactly?
Wrong Greely!
Also: CAMPAIGN ’08: THE ALASKA GOVERNOR
September 06, 2008|Julian E. Barnes, Times Staff Writer
WASHINGTON — Seeking to buttress the foreign policy credentials of Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, Republicans have repeatedly cited the vice presidential nominee’s experience as commander of the Alaska National Guard.
As governor, Palin oversees military units whose duties include serving overseas, search-and-rescue missions across the state’s vast landscape and manning key elements of the U.S. missile defense system at Ft. Greely.
But foreign deployments of Guard units and the operation of national defense assets like the Ft. Greely missile interceptors are not the responsibility of state governors. Those functions come under the regular U.S. military chain of command.
Commanding the Alaska National Guard is hardly an insignificant job, military officials say. Still, they acknowledge that it provides little, if any, foreign policy experience.
Whut? Iz yoo peepul tryn to tell mee that the miss-syle base ain’t got to check with the Yazoo City Grater Metropollitan Uruh in order to do whutever it duz wif da miss-sylez?
Curses, foiled by tigris’ attention to spelling. How about this Greely then. It’s not even in the US, people!
as an alien here
Gray skin, big head, bigger eyes? Or Canadian?
I’m curious: all the comments on ConfYankee’s Palin post went- where, exactly?
Into ill-tempered aether.
It’s just ignorance stacked upon ignorance with this clown. Did he actually think that any strategic weapons would somehow be the under the purview of a Governor? I suppose that, as he seems to think that Russia is still “Soviet,” the answer might actually be “yes.” Wow.
By that same logic, I’d say yeah.
—–
The fucking Derb needs to be airdropped somewhere in the eastern DRC, broke, and left to his own devices. I’m sure his superior shiny white ass will do just fine.
Did he actually think that any strategic weapons would somehow be the under the purview of a Governor?
Anyone other than me suddenly think about how the atomic war started in Sleeper?
When you deploy overseas in a National Guard unit you are tasked to the active duty military and under the overall command of an active duty officer.
I once commanded a detachment of KC-135s deployed to Istres, France (tough duty but someone had to do it). I reported to a full Colonel from another Guard unit who in turn reported to an active duty General at 15th Air Force.
The governor of my state was not in the chain of command.
He disabled them after being carpet bombed with all that creepy liberal logic and stuff. Apparently his commenters don’t know when to shutup either.
Did he actually think that any strategic weapons would somehow be the under the purview of a Governor?
Yes, and we should trust her because she has all this experience. PS she doesn’t have all this experience.
Yes, and we should trust her because she has all this experience.
Even if she had experience, who cares?
As I said to a contractor once, “Yes, you’ve got a lot experience. You’ve been doing it wrong for twenty years.”
I may have to watch that again. Haven’t seen it in forever.
I was kind of thinking that after we had that whole messy Civil War thing, the federal government might be a touch wary of giving something like launch codes to individual Governors. I mean, they might just be crazy wackadoodles connected to secessionist groups. I know, far fetched, but… What’s that you say? Really. Hmmm.
DKWs mom, etc.
I was kind of thinking that after we had that whole messy Civil War thing, the federal government might be a touch wary of giving something like launch codes to individual Governors.
Yeah, the toughest part of Reconstruction was getting the ICBMs out of the south and into the border states. Wait…
Personally, I love the idea of Huey Long with nukes.
DKWs mom, etc.
In D-KW’s mom’s defense [!], even when done wrong, sex is still pretty good.
As I said to a contractor once, “Yes, you’ve got a lot experience. You’ve been doing it wrong for twenty years.”
Or as it’s said by the dwarves in Pratchett’s Discworld novels, “My bum has been a bum for a very long time, but that doesn’t mean I have to listen to anything it says.”
Hmmph. I seem to have forgotten the dramatic “time passed” segue with the soft focus and repetitious arpeggios.
Then again, looking at certain Governors, Palin aside, maybe not so much time has passed after all.
How does one avoid hearing what their bum says? Earplugs?
Istres, France (tough duty but someone had to do it)
Is that near Beaumont-sur-Mer?
I seem to have forgotten the dramatic “time passed” segue with the soft focus and repetitious arpeggios.
The best of these – by which I mean the one so bad it made me long for sporks to remove my eyeballs – was in AI: “And then a thousand years went by.” WHAT? I’ve sat through an interminable two hours of crap and you do this to me?
Earl might have been more fun, though.
In D-KW’s mom’s defense [!], even when done wrong, sex is still pretty good.
Her wicked case of ear crabs says otherwise.
Or…
Her wicked case of ear crabs says otherwise.
Earplugs?
Serendipity is a serendipitous thing.
That’s the way, uh-huh uh-huh, I like it, uh-huh uh-huh.
It’s stupid enough to argue that Palin has a particular bit of knowledge about nuclear issues because she was governor. Tell me nobody actually thought that she had command of any part of nuclear forces. Lie to me if you have to. That makes about as much sense as giving a mayor the launch codes.
Tell me nobody actually thought that she had command of any part of nuclear forces. Lie to me if you have to. That makes about as much sense as giving a mayor the launch codes.
I can’t tell you that, but I *can* tell you that even Jonah Goldberg thinks that the whole “commander-in-chief of the Alaska National Guard” thing is stupid.
As much as giving the Mayor of Fresno the launch codes.
Well, closer to Charlotte, but still.
CY corrects marginal error regarding chain of command, leaves huge “Imaginary Soviets About To Abduct & Collectivize Trig Any Minute Now” fuckup intact. Doesn’t quite top zapping away all those nasty vicious LiberulMoozlimFacist reality-oriented comments, but still … that sure is hella funny.
Methinks our own Fake Gary could learn a thing or two from that boy.
My default thesis is that on the fateful day when his BBQ grill fell over, Owens’ head was directly underneath it.
i can see russia from my pants
STOP MAKING FUN OF TRIG PALIN!
i can see russia from my pants
When I look at your pants all I can see is Uranus.
How does one avoid hearing what their bum says? Earplugs?
It’s avoiding the listening to it that matters, I guess.
STOP MAKING FUN OF TRIG PALIN!
Stupid PC Republicans. Guess you can’t put lipstick on a Trig.
My default thesis is that on the fateful day when his BBQ grill fell over, Owens’ head was directly underneath it.
Trust me, he was stupid long before that.
So. Their already legendary hero Reagan single-handedly defeated the Communist Menace, by arming Bin Laden, bankrupting America w/ wasteful “defense” spending, & then tearing down the Berlin Wall w/ only his bare teeth & throbbing organ, his hands having been tied behind him by a Democrat Congreƒs & traitorous liberal media, yet that chinless cretin (A self-styled “military investigative reporter” or some such; not clicking to PJMedia or wherever to find it.) refuses to give Ronaldus Magnus any credit, & insists the Soviets are still pointing missiles at us? A slap in the face to the Amiable Dunce. Shame, Bob Owens!
Quick clues for reactionaries: You don’t anger us w/ your common-sense, your proud ignorance & your stupidity, no matter how much you pretend to believe you do. It’s pity & amusement. (Some liberal saps may feel twinges of guilt after the schadenfreude; that’s liberals, what can you do?)
Keep it up. Please. Energize your 25% (on a good day) base & alienate everyone else.
Enjoy 2010. It’ll be your next-to-last gasp, no matter the result.
From way back up on the page,
Right, which is the main difference between left-wing and right-wing populism – the one appeals to the actually victimized, while the other appeals to those who imagine that they’re being victimized but actually aren’t. It’s more complicated than that, but that’s the essence of what it comes down to.
Which, in turn, has practical consequences in terms of how to deal with them. Left wing populists, you can appease by simply identifying their beef and addressing it. IE the threat of race war in America was defused when minorities were given civil rights, the threat of communism in Europe was defused when the system gave workers a voice and a basic safety net, left wing terrorism south of the border’s taken a dramatic plunge since most of those countries went democratic in the last twenty years…
But that sort of thing just doesn’t happen on the other side of the aisle. You can’t simply identify and address their beef, because their beef is invariably something that DOESN’T ACTUALLY EXIST. Joe the Plumber became a national icon by claiming that if he had an income level he doesn’t have, he’d be suffering from tax hikes that don’t exist. Right wing talk media make a living bullying the mainstream media into skewing right, then complain that the media has a left wing bias anyway. Then there’s the death panels, the birth certificates, the weapons of mass destruction and all the rest of that good stuff. There’s nothing anyone can say that’ll satisfy these guys, anymore than you could satisfy the people who once thought their countries were being secretly controlled by the Jews.
Not a happy prospect. It seems like such a dumb fucking question; how do you deal with such a vast victimization complex when it doesn’t have the slightest basis in fact?
My guess is you have to address the psychological need that is served by feeling victimized. But I doubt you can do that on a macro basis.
Right – because we’re talking about problems that if anything, require psychiatric treatment more than political action. And of course you can’t do that on a macro basis, because aside from the practical problems, it would be taken as a literal declaration of war on conservatism. But still, there’s a lot of truth to it.
Bad news from the continent;
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100411/ap_on_bi_ge/eu_hungary_elections
Nazis. I hate these guys.
No, when I said “Nazis,” that wasn’t hyperbole or slander, just a very literal description. And please note that unlike their comrades in France and Austria, these people haven’t even bothered to update their prejudices (e.g. Arabs and Africans). Nope, it’s j00z and Gypsies, just like old times.
In their defense there probably aren’t a lot of Arabs banging down the doors to get into Hungary. So who else are they gonna blame? Whitey?
In other news:
Fire still hot.
Water still wet.
Lieberman still a gangrenous choad carbuncle.
Personally, I love the idea of Huey Long with nukes.
Personally, I love the idea of Huey Lewis with nukes.
But…why? For the love of Spag, why?!
To quote Transmetropolitan, I get bored. A lot.
Personally, I love the idea of Huey Lewis with nukes.
I think it’s written as “Huey Lewis and the nukes.”
I need to read more carefully. I thought you said “Patrick Buchanan type” and I was going to have to shun you.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH NOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I may be sick, but I’m not *that* sick.
‘Scuse me, I’m going to go vomit now.
He disabled them after being carpet bombed with all that creepy liberal logic and stuff. Apparently his commenters don’t know when to shutup either.
for such a tough talker, he really is a big pussy……
I see yosida is still start raving mad…. its good to know that among all the change, somethings stay the same…
Gary Ruppert said,
April 12, 2010 at 0:28
The fact is, you are all liberal faggots and not funny so shut up.
I wonder…you guys think maybe the whole Gary Ruppert identity is like a ZipCar? You know, you sign up on a website, and they tell you where to pick up the ID and you can tool around the net in it, and then when your time is up, you park it and tell GaryRuppert.com where you left it so the next guy can take it out for a spin?
Off-topic, but if anyone buys this for me, I will be their BFF for, like, EVER.
I’M BLIND!!!!!!!!!!!
You must be really young son because I’ve seen this line used dozens of times without any success.
Ah, but deed u yoos da Hongaryan ekkcint? Dot’s verked for mein.
what
Goddam batman ‘Nam tab mad dog
Sdrawkcab ti daer
Word games, eh? You know who else was into word games?
In D-KW’s mom’s defense [!],
Everyone stands up for DKW’s mom.
I bet someone’s mentioned this already, but it bears repeating:
was there a particularly LARGE amount of threat of a Soviet first strike across the Arctic in 2007?
Not Arabs, no.
What’s green and purple and commits lots of crime?
Whose only power is wasting your time?
Hrm. I’m just glad it wasn’t him started the explosive fungal wordplay. We can finally see the power of a non-Actor212 rot canon.