Cock Shit Fuck iPad
Posted on April 6th, 2010 by D. Aristophanes
If you purchased an iPad you are a conformist tool. Those who did should never comment here again, except to apologize.
Takapu, I choose you!
Yes, I’ve been drinking.
Comments: 199
(comments are closed)
Wait, who wrote that? Let me try to deduce the origin of this post … on my iPad!
Oh, it was me. Blackouts suck …especially when they don’t support Flash!
Flash is for sissies.
An Open Letter To Pope Benedict:
Dear Sir:
I am interested in fucking little boys. However, it has come to my attention that the authorities frown upon such behaviour. Still, I have it on good counsel that the position I seek within your institution comes with the fringe benefit of an unspoken guarantee that my particular predilections shall go unmentioned to law enforcement, as it were, should my desires get the best of me, re: fucking little boys.
Please confirm your attention to this detail by means of a sign upon receipt. Pretending I have never brought this detail to your attention shall suffice as that sign.
Yours,
Jesus
Why the hell would most people even buy it in the FIRST place?
Same goes for the iPP-ODD (pronounced the John Larroquette way), rather than some other mp3-player.
I’m sure they’re fine products, and that they perform about as well as advertised as any other line of electronics, but it’s so fucking creepy how, on the internet at least, they’re made into some sort of fetishistic totems and, fuck-help-me, status-symbols. Granted, I’m beyond OLD now, being thirty and all, and not american, but the people I know get along fine without these holy talismans that seem ubiquitus in american tv-shows.
“Why the hell would most people even buy it in the FIRST place?”
Quoting myself, the above line applies to the Catholic Church as well.
Or any church or religious belief really.
But Pope Jobs covering up rape of little kids? HA!
He’d make it “fashionable!” and “creative!” and all the li’l “independent fashionistas” would excuse any anal fissures away.
If Jobs ran the Vatican child molestation interface, you could suck but you couldn’t fuck … no multi-tasking!
this conversation is kinda getting out of hand
D. Aristophanes.
Oh, sure you could! But you’d have to sign up for the anal-tunes, too!
iTourettes
u gots it
And I don’t really have anything against Apple that I don’t have against any other creepy corporation (Microsoft included, just to advert any “MY OS CAN BEAT UP YOUR OS!”).
It’s more about the disgusting fetishism, which is not just about certain ITEMS any more, but about certain COMPANIES and BRANDS.
Patriotism was bad enough.
In the future it’ll be about aligning yourself with your portfolio.
I want an iPad, but I can’t justify it. I do think it’s somewhat overpriced, but no worse than an Amazon Kindle DX. And I think it’s got a ton of potential for hobbyist use, if Apple lets it happen.
I also want an iPod Touch, because my PalmPilot is reaching the end of its useful life and I don’t want to replace it with a smartphone. The Touch is literally the only thing left on the market that fills the same function, and by all indication it’s got better games.
And I really don’t like people who have such visceral, knee-jerk Apple hate. If the platform’s not your thing, fine. If you don’t like the closed architecture, fine. But if all you’re going to do is rant and rave about how Apple users are sheep and conformists and wimps and posers, SHUT THE FUCK UP. Many, many Mac and iPod/iPhone users use their equipment to do real work and are really, really sick of hearing it.
iPad would be a great design if it was a real puter. i already haz a iPhone
but it will be worth it if it kills teh flash. flash iz ebul
Oh, and iPad = the new TRaSh-80 Model 100. Look it up and marvel at the design paralells. Also the part about extreme portability and insanely long battery life.
If you purchased an iPad you are a conformist tool.
Fine, but will it blend?
“but if all you’re going to do is rant and rave about how Apple users are sheep and conformists and wimps and posers, SHUT THE FUCK UP.”
Well, it’s not ALL I’m going to do, but it certainly fits a large swath of morons I know who won’t shut up.
“Many, many
Mac and iPod/iPhone users use their equipment to do real work and are really, really sick of hearing it.”
I totally agree.
And that’s the thing.
A tool is a tool.
No need to somehow elevate it to a fetish.
I’m antiquated, yet ambidextrous: this comment was submitted on a 6 y/o iMac, but I have no practical conception of this “iPad” artifact to which you refer.
Still do most of my Photoshopping and other workaday stuff on the Great Satan PC , though. Is that abnormal?
Also, the iPad would be good for:
-DJing
-electronic sketchbook/CAD workstation
-table games (chess, poker, etc)
-interactive digital picture frames
-sound editing (and possibly video, depending on how much memory you have available)
-various types of kiosks
-making salsa
Also, iPhone OS 4.0 may allow application multitasking… it’s still a little speculative at this point, but I’m sure someone will figure out how to run Linux or NetBSD on it if that doesn’t come to fruition.
(Although given Apple’s near-suicidal removal of adult content from the App Store, I don’t entirely trust them not to screw something up.)
Oh, and to totally abandon any tech-wars…
You do all know that actual notebooks and pencils actually still exist?
And that if you’re too scatterbrained to actually check what you yourself wrote a day or two before, you probably shouldn’t be involved with anything that might impact other human beings.
And no, this is not some “luddite” opinion; it is actual concern that the human race might die out if we forget to breathe if we haven’t set aside time for it.
These are tough Jobs, but somebody’s gotta do ’em. The Gates of heaven will open for more varied souls than the fundies would have you believe…
Reading the book of Jobs will let you glide ‘n’ slide right into the Gates o’ heaven!
No lubricant needed, since both are slimy to start with… for NO-ONE’s pleasure!
Reading the book of Jobs will let you glide ‘n’ slide right into the Gates o’ heaven!
Well, there was a little bit more than that involved.
heh.
This thread’s getting a byte too lubricious for me, so g’nite!
I’m holding out for the Maxi-iPad.
Yep.
Gates and Jobs slashfic.
I hope you’re happy Aristophanes! I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPYyyy…
wait… waIT… WAIT !!!! NOOOOO! Point that pod of yours away from me .. please…
before it starts casting! nooo !111 arghghhaa
My partner got one, and downloaded the BBC versions of Life onto it for me. Enjoy your Oprah narration, suckers! (My DVDs don’t come until June. I don’t think I could put up with Oprah that long, honestly. WTF, Discovery Channel? You gonna get Christian fucking Slater to narrate a doc series next? Oh, that’s right, you already did!)
Also about a billion of my favorite books. Sure, it’s a toy. But it’s kinda cool anyway. The cat was feeding the aquarium fish by bumping his nose against the screen to get at them. The laughs we got out of that alone go a fair way to justifying the purchase.
I’m holding out for teh Manopause Rapture, which suits my procrastination-prone nature to a T, an I, an E, an M, an A, and so on for 21 other time-burning characters.
Actually, to be fair, it’s probably perfect for me if it did flash. I won’t carry a phone, paranoid, and I always have at least two books and my iPod with me. Since I take the bus everywhere, I spend a lot of turned-up-early time in doctors waiting rooms, which almost always have wifi. I’ll get this one when the newer and shinier one comes out, and that’ll be fine. Hopefully by then someone will have hacked it to run flash.
Also, I’m not drunk, but I am improperly medicated.
I will be waiting for the iPadQS, which will have legs and follow me like a dog. And love me, LOVE MEEEEeeeee. (is whiskey friday over yet?)
stackozone.
I dunno.
But fer me here in the viking-lands o’ denmark , it surely is vodka time!
Even though it isn’¨t even noon yet, but i’¨m cleanin’ my oven an’ it smells, so I sorta hafta drink. and driiink…
Sidhe, in my experience improper medication is the only worthwhile kind.
‘Course I’m speaking as an improbably fortunate mid-boomer with no significant health issues– and incidentally, no medical insurance for the past thirty years.
its not that they are bad products (iz got an old Iphone), its the whole religious type fetishism that goes with them. My iphone pisses me off on a number of occasions, but mention that to an apple geek and they react like you have suggested going watch a snuff porn movie (not that i would know, mind you).
I love saying to them; ‘its just a fucken phone/computer….’…..
Also, have you noticed, every movie that there is a computer, its a god-damned Apple……
As for the music, the Iphone/Ipod sucks, Sony is a lot better…
Lol, I can’t believe anyone would read words off any kind of interconnected network. Why would anyone want a portable device for that? Lol.
And wtf? You can’t read a book with paper? Or sketch with paper? Or read the news with paper?
Wtf, lol, get some paper.
Buying stuff that works for you from a seller you trust is for retarded squares. I can’t believe anyone would do that. I like pain.
Sony is a lot better.
I have just summed up the thread (and the next 30 posts after this one). Now we can move on to the puns and concern trolling?
I have books which I’ve owned for forty years. I have books that are over one hundred years old. If your idea of a book is something you won’t be able to ever read again a decade from now, go for it.
Also to, Flash can’t go obsolete soon enough, imho. How about just some fucking compliant HTML5. Shock, horror.
INORITE, Kiernan?
Why on earth wouldn’t anyone be satisfied with just carrying around one or two 100 year old books? That’s all you’ll ever need anyway.
People that don’t read books on paper are retards.
You know what else paper used to be good enough for? Porn. Yeah. I can’t believe you retards don’t want your porn on paper.
Paper is good for cleaning up too.
Carrying around hours or days worth of porn in your pocket used to seem like some kind of Holy Grail. Now that it’s a reality, I’m totally against it. What happened? Maybe I just got old. Maybe it’s marriage. Either way, porn is completely stupid if it’s not erotica zines and old Hustlers.
Oh, and just so you don’t accuse me of being a Luddite or something, I said the same thing when Usenet got alt.sex.stories. No one wants to use some interconnected global medium to share stuff that gives you a boner.
Boners are passé, and would be a lot better with paper.
Brian X:
That’s like saying the National Socialist Workers Party could be a force for good if Hitler would just let it happen.
Thinking about how great paper is, and how boners could be a lot cooler, I thought, “what if you could combine the two?” Hasn’t someone come up with a perfect origami penis?
Well if there was some kind of interconnected global “web”, I bet I could find someone else that had the same idea.
Whoa! http://www.metacafe.com/watch/391624/origami_penis/
Lol, yeah, John Hughes. Apple are like Nazis. Good one! Apple would make a lot more money if they switched to newspaper publishing or at the very list, a hip porno mag like Hustler. Lol.
But seriously, guys. Businesses should not be judged at all on how well they make money. They should only be judged on stuff that makes them cool, like how unpopular they are, or how un-useful their products are. I can’t believe anyone, especially retards, would buy something they thought was useful. How gauche.
There I go again, using words like thought and useful. They are too subjective, so from now on they mean exactly what I say they mean. When you think something is useful you’re wrong, unless you think exactly like I do.
Only paper is useful.
Sheesh.
Yeah, man. TOTALLY!
If you don’t purchase every new product that comes out ON THE DAY it comes out, and if you don’t vigorously defend it on random websites, AND you don’t wait Pavlovianly for patches you are just SUCH a fuckin’ Luddite!
See?
I too can mimic the extreme of.. oh hey, I didn’t have to.
You did it for me!
Wait, wait, guys? Where’d you all go?
How am I going to be entertained if no one else is here making funny Nazi references. Is it all up to me?
Computers are Theft.
iTunes is the Hitler or Liberal Fascism.
Are you still there? Is this thing on? Well I can say one thing is for sure. Sadly, No would be a lot more useful it it came on paper once a month like The National Review or Hustler.
Sheesh.
The funny thing, hell… THE INCREDIBLE FUCKING THING…
is that no rabid fanboy actually showed up before… well, you.
Whew, thanks HMDK, I was twisting in the wind there. Pavlov’s dog is a good reference, but there isn’t enough Hitler in it. Try harder!!
The joke really is on you (or is you), since I don’t recognize your name from around here, is that I’m not a fanboy — but on the other hand, keep going! Keep going!
This is meta-humor. You are the joke.
I… I don’t really have to, Sheeshy.
If you’d actually read the thread, you’d have noticed that your remarks are completely unwarrented.
This whole thread is a troll. D. A. is trolling you. And you took the bait, you went for it! You’re basically the first post:
Bah, tag fail is me. But the point stands, this thread is a troll. And you bit.
Sheesh. Literracy ain’t optional.
And you still don’t get it, Sheesh.
That maybe I have an opinion that isn’t the same !?!?
WOW!
And the funniest thing to me is that you’ve failed to even be funny in an accidental way, which must be some sort of record.
I disagree with some things some megacorp does, I make fun of it… Yes… So?
And I especially like this:
“I’m just saying you can do better, you know, like maybe Brian. Put more Hitler in there!”
WHAT’S THIS! SOMEONE DARES TO POINT OUT THE OBVIOUS??!
HEH! THAT’S LIKE POINTIN’ OUT HITLER DID THE HOLOCAUST AND MARMADUKE ATE ALL THE CHILDREN!
You know what’s hilarious to me? People who try to convince me that Windows is superior because it’s for Serious Business Work. But the main example of this superior computing power always turns out to be video games.
I won’t fetishize my music player if you won’t fetishize your hatred of it.
Stupid thread is stupid.
iPod : IPad :: TV remote : Giant TV remote for Grannys
No no, you miss my point (still). I was very explicit. You were trolled by the OP. D. Aristophanes trolled you. We’ve already had the OS wars on Sadly, No! You are late to the party (not that I don’t expect history to repeat it self, a prediction I went so far as to make in my first post on this thread).
So pick a side, or an anti-side if you want to rehash it when the Apple fans wake up. Feel free, but so it’s funnier, please remember to add in more Hitler.
It’s an operating system, not a freakin’ religion.
It’s like I hear an echo or something.
How soon we forget.
Sheesh.
No, I actually GOT your point the first time.
I just decided to shit on it, because, well, manure is fertilizer.
But seriously, what I like (read: vomit over) most about this thread,
is that if you read all my posts, you’ll see that I’m not actually some ultra-anti-apple whatever, nor anti-tech, yet …. what’s that? That’s what this all about?
Nothing about nothing?
Very well.
Mrs. Dash r00lZ.
Chef Paul suXX.
I would be willing to try out all sorts of technological toys if given merely a few million dollars with which to buy them.
It’s an operating system, not a freakin’ religion.
True, but if L. Ron cold start a religion based on hooking up people to ohmmeters, it seems to me some enterprising soul could make a fortune with a church of Apple. I assume part of the founding myth would focus on Eve offering Adam the Apple, which he turns down and is cast into the BSOD.
On a different note, I started my business 18 years ago and have been looking for a small computer I can take with me to a site with electronic versions of drawings, mark the drawings up, and transfer the annotations back to my work computer. The first implementation worth a damn is an app called Aji on my ipod touch; the same app on an ipad might actually realize that idea. So yeah, there are potential uses. As for books, I tend to just carry a paperback on the subway.
The subway is for ignorant cunts. Surface transit rules.
The subway is for ignorant cunts.
Dating pool.
I don’t get how the iPad isn’t just a big iPod Touch.
Eeeeeep.
Scar my tattered brain no more with your punishing dildo thread!
I’m not even sure I should TRY reading this one at work.
I don’t get how the iPad isn’t just a big iPod Touch.
Per my first comment: it sort of is, but this is a case where a quantitative change has qualitative effects.
I’m trying to convince myself that I must have it, but since I have an iMac and and iPhone, it’s kind hard.
The more people complain about the iPad, the more I wish I had some reason to buy one.
As for books, I tend to just carry a paperback on the subway.
Elitist!
~
Look, if you wanna buy some useless hunk of shit because it’s shiny, good for you. I’m just not particularly fond of the move toward a closed system. I doubt I’ll buy another Apple product for a while once my iPod poops out.
And I know this is a trolly thread, but SERIOUS T&U IS SERIOUS.
DA’s jealous! DA’s jealous! DA’s jealous! DA’s jealous!
Wanna see mine? Wanna see it? Huh? Huh?
Nope, can’t touch this!
DA’s jealous! DA’s jealous! DA’s jealous!
Fuckit. I’m going to start communicating by making marks in the dust with a pointed stick.
Fuckit. I’m going to start communicating by making marks in the dust with a pointed stick.
Heh. My iPod is a second-generation Mini–I might as well be listening to music on a Victrola.
I’m a big ol’ boring luddite.
I want my cell phone to make phone calls on, so I’ve got zero interest in iPhones and related gimmicks.
I like regular books, magazines, and comics, and I really don’t care to have ’em on a reader. Partly ’cause I’d feel silly reading an iPad on the terlet.
I like having a normal computer, because Apple’s products (shh, don’t tell) really kinda suck, frequently don’t work right, and don’t run a lot of the programs and games that I want them to run.
But I do love watching Apple fanboys soil themselves in joy over a piece of overpriced plastic. Spend harder, fanboys, it’s the only way Jobs will know of your pure and undying love!
Jobs’ intent behind the iPad is more nefarious than most have posited.
By upscaling and upsizing the iPod/iPhone, he’s introducing tens of millions of people to the experience of the Mac OS, one piece at a time. Don’t believe me? The iPad has already sold a million units before Monday and a million apps have already been downloaded from the App Store.
Integrating an intermediate step between iPod and iMac is essential to the Apple ideal of turning the entire home into an information/entertainment nexus, using Apple products at the core.
Apple has taken control of markets that have long languished with inferior products and turned them on their ears, making the Apple entry the must-have item in that market. It will do the same thing to the netbook with the iPad.
And you’ll notice how, even if you own a Zune or a Droid phone, it’s now nothing more than a clone of the iPod or iPhone, which sort of puts the lie to the whole rant about Apple products. Apple may have its haters, but those haters are also admirers.
I’m trying to convince myself that I must have it, but since I have an iMac and and iPhone, it’s kind hard.
I had the same thought when it was first announced.
Then I saw one in action, for real, no gimmicks. It’s a must have. My eyes are too old for the fucking iPhone screen and I’m tired of trying to spread my fingers to make the text bigger.
And you’ll notice how, even if you own a Zune or a Droid phone, it’s now nothing more than a clone of the iPod or iPhone, which sort of puts the lie to the whole rant about Apple products
Hey, I have no problem with taking the best of what Apple has to offer, charging less for it, and letting me do more with it.
I don’t hate Apple. I have a lot of respect for their attention to design and usability. The iPod and iPhone were awesome and revolutionary. That doesn’t mean that I’m particularly impressed with what they have to offer now.
once my iPod poops out.
That usually happens about ten hours after you eat it, although YintestinalMMV.
Star Trek promised me computers I could talk to, so what do I get? Telephones you fucking type on!
For you iPad haters, a brand spanking new video:
http://www.blendtec.com/willitblend/videos.aspx?type=unsafe&video=ipad
That usually happens about ten hours after you eat it, although YintestinalMMV.
Uh, I think I need to go to the doctor, then…
That doesn’t mean that I’m particularly impressed with what they have to offer now.
And that’s fair enough and is why there’s a free market out there for people who agree with you.
Steven Fry, the actor, wrote a really nice article for Time Magazine this week which tries to come to grips with Apple fanboism. He was one of the first Brits with an Apple computer, and only the second non-Apple employee to own an iPad.
But he took a step back to try to understand why Apple products engender such adoration:
He goes on, but his point is essential to understanding why you’ll get my Macs (all eight of them if you count phones, laptops, iPods and my soon-to-be-delivered iPad) when you can pry them out of my cold dead hands.
I don’t have to think. I don’t have to defrag and then be struck dumb by a file that refuses to defrag (see last thread). I turn it on, it boots up, and I do the work I need to do. If I have a problem, the machine itself will fix it during the boot process (including quick defrags). The most I have to do is clear cookies out of my browser every once in a while, or at worst, repair file permissions, which takes about fifteen minutes.
Do they crash sometimes? Sure, it’s happened over the course of the years, altho my current five year old machine has never crashed and the last crash in my household was when my daughter forgot that laptops don’t play nice with liquids. Pop the install disk in, run Repair Disk, and usually a bad sector is roped off and I’m back running.
I’m forced to use a PC at work, mostly because the CEO has always used a PC and feels its a business machine.
But with the iPod and iPhone, he now owns a Mac or two, and I suspect once he gets his iPad, we’ll start to see the occasional Mac around the office.
It’s all part of Jobs’ plan.
actor212:
I’d chuck my droid phone in a minute if I could manage to get a Verizon based iPhone. Because it is a status symbol? No, because it is a better interface. I love my Droid, but I love my wife’s iPhone more.
I don’t understand why some people are so anti-Apple. I’m no fanboi, but I have used apple products for my home computer since the late 80’s. I have also used windows products in my work place since the 1991. They are just tools to be used however you see fit.
If you want an iPad, buy one. If you don’t want one, STFU and let people enjoy theirs.
Don’t like the closed architecture? STFU and buy a Linux box.
Don’t like the white box? STFU and buy a dell.
Don’t like Cheerios? STFU and buy wheaties.
Nobody is “pulling a gun to your head” to force you to buy one.
STFU? Yeah, STFU.
to be clear, that rant above is not directed towards you actor, but to the dum-dums who think that they are being slighted in some way by my decision to use apple products (or eat cheerios).
‘spread my fingers’ is the socialistic walrus of the fazcshist internet rape poruon….
Apple users are the Jews of Cory Doctorow fascism.
to be clear, that rant above is not directed towards you actor, but to the dum-dums who think that they are being slighted in some way by my decision to use apple products (or eat cheerios).
Hey, I don’t give a shit. Buy an iPad! Buy 10! I really don’t care.Everybody makes consumer choices based on their own needs and preferences, and if the iPad fills those needs and preferences, I’m glad. But I’m not going to pretend like I don’t have some issues with it, or that the media narrative surrounding it doesn’t drive me batty.
actor212 said,
April 6, 2010 at 15:29
That’s cool. And I can’t say that I don’t think the comic book app is cool (despite my reservations about the actual use of content). Seriously, if it does what you want it to do, that’s awesome.
the media narrative surrounding it doesn’t drive me batty.
Every minute the MSM spend on the ipad is a minute they don’t spend on celebrity gossip.
ygdpmmeh,
I understood who you were aiming for. No harm, no foul.
Apple users are the Jews of Cory Doctorow fascism.
Uh…I though Cory Doctorow was the Jew of Cory Doctorow fascism.
T&U,
I will confess to some moderate unease with the way Apple has hawked this product through the very media that is hawking content on the iPad, like NBC (which is rumoured to be buying an iPad for everyone in the news division), Time Magazine (which has one of the best “hit the ground running” iPad sites) and even ABC-TV (which featured the iPad as a product placement in at least two shows I know of last week, and Disney has another great ipad site).
Every minute the MSM spend on the ipad is a minute they don’t spend on celebrity gossip.
But I *wanna* hear about all the Neo-Nazis Jesse James has fucked!
TruculentandUnreliable:
I totally understand the media narrative driving you batty. That’s not, however, what many here are railing against.
People are railing against the closed architecture, the lack of features or the price.
If you don’t like any of the above, STFU and use a pencil and paper.
For the record, I don’t have an iPad, but would buy one in one hot minute if I had the extra dough. ‘Cause, you see, it would be a fun thing to have that is shiny and would make me look cooler than you.
By the way, what “issues” do you have with it, other than the media narrative?
But I *wanna* hear about all the Neo-Nazis Jesse James has fucked!
If you had an ipad, you could watch TMZ all day long!
Run rings around you logically!
I agree with Stephen Fry.
Sent from my HitlerPhone
Uh…I though Cory Doctorow was the Jew of Cory Doctorow fascism.
No, Cory Doctorow is the Jew of Cory Doctorowism.
Ye gods. Sober yet, peeps?
Sent from my HitlerPhone
You know who else has a Hitler phone?
That’s right: Dan Riehl!
“Then I saw one in action, for real, no gimmicks. It’s a must have. My eyes are too old for the fucking iPhone screen and I’m tired of trying to spread my fingers to make the text bigger.”
actor, that’s prolly the big draw for me too. I like to hang out in the family room with my iPhone (often lurking here) and an iPad would make that so much more, um, readable.
I like to hang out in the family room with my iPhone (often lurking here) and an iPad would make that so much more, um, readable.
And youporn.com wouldn’t be a fucking mobile site.
I mean, I’d be able to watch YouTube videos.
And youporn.com wouldn’t be a fucking mobile site.
I mean, I’d be able to watch YouTube videos.
You really think you get more respect for YouTube than YouPorn?
If you don’t like any of the above, STFU and use a pencil and paper.
…By the way, what “issues” do you have with it, other than the media narrative?
So, wait…if I don’t like something, I’m not supposed to express an opinion on it? I’ll keep that in mind next time we make fun of wingnuts.
I have a serious problem with the model that Apple is putting forth. Now, I know that I don’t have to participate in that model, but we all know that Apple is at the forefront of consumer technology innovation. They are trendsetters, and I’m not fond of the type of trend this technology could set. This isn’t to say that’s a foregone conclusion, of course, but I think it’s helpful to think about the ways that human beings interact with technology and how that will shape us in the future.
The other issue I have isn’t with the iPad itself, but the way that we treat new, shiny shit. This stuff has an environmental and social impact, and I hate hate hate the way we’re moving toward electronics as being disposable consumer goods. I realize that ship has already fucking sailed, so I guess my crankiness regarding the iPad in that respect is misplaced.
Plus, I just like to be contrarian. So there!
I’m buying 10 iPads … one for every member of my immediate family, two for me, another one to leave lying around for guests, and four more just to throw directly in the garbage! Plus one more for good luck.
Not buying an iPad, but I hope it’s understood that the Amazon Kindle DX is now a big plastic turd.
“I mean, I’d be able to watch YouTube videos.”
Nope. Too late. We caught ya.
“I’m buying 10 iPads … one for every member of my immediate family”
Long lost sister here–hand extended!
okaithanksbai!
I’m not fond of the type of trend this technology could set
Apart from your valid environmental concerns (which is one reason why you still can’t get my 1993 model Performa 6360CD out of my hands, despite the fact that I barely use it to run the lights in my house when I’m away), what trend are you concerned about?
“Not buying an iPad, but I hope it’s understood that the Amazon Kindle DX is now a big plastic turd.”
Yup.
I’m buying 10 iPads
I’m tipping every waiter and bartender with one in 2010.
You really think you get more respect for YouTube than YouPorn?
*blushes*
I only watch it for the articles.
I mean, the college courses.
Nope. Too late. We caught ya.
Damn.
I deny that I’m the editor in chief for MILFMia
Still no coverage of Debbie Schlussel’s fraud fight against Sean Hannity & Ollie North’s bullshit ‘charity’ scam on veterans?
Rightfight!
Plus, I just like to be contrarian.
Nuh-uh!
I’m buying 10 iPads
I’m tipping every waiter and bartender with one in 2010.
Shit damn hell, I’ma gonna buy a box every month. Until the iPon breakthrough* that is.
*STS
o/t; but Jonah looks into his other fetish;
Twelve Reasons the Burger King Should Be King No link, its too sad
“I also want an iPod Touch, because my PalmPilot is reaching the end of its useful life and I don’t want to replace it with a smartphone. The Touch is literally the only thing left on the market that fills the same function, and by all indication it’s got better games.”
Same here. I’ve gotten years of service out of my Visor Prism (oh, hush! It works great for me…:)), but I dropped/repaired it a few months ago, and it’s slow to register touch-screen entries. Since I don’t need a smartphone, the Touch is really the only game in town that performs the functions I need. As for the iPad–nope, not happening. Too expensive, and I just got a new laptop for the same price that does far more stuff. And I stare at screens all day as it is, so I sure don’t need another one. As well, I feel like the NYT communter who asked why on earth she should get such an obvious thief-magnet.
Karma police, arrest this Dan
His Hitler Phone is making me feel ill
“Twelve Reasons the Burger King Should Be King No link, its too sad”
He has stock in it?
He supports BK by eating 10 bacon double cheeseburgers a day?
That’s two right there. I don’t even need to read.
“By upscaling and upsizing the iPod/iPhone, he’s introducing tens of millions of people to the experience of the Mac OS, one piece at a time.”
I figured that was what he was up to when he introduced the iPod. Look how many people got one who 1) normally couldn’t afford an Apple product or 2) didn’t want to switch over from PCs. Very ingenious.
Vannity
I’m so pissed I didn’t come up with this one first.
Look, people. This is the best fulfillment to date of the grail of home computing, the “internet appliance” that is bog-simple to set up and use for the purposes which most people use it for: Facebook, LOLCats, and porn. (And for all you “it’s just an oversized iPod touch” mockers out there, are you really happy watching your Shaved Wet Lesbian MILFs or whatever on a screen the size of a playing card? Really?)
It’s also the fulfillment of an ideal that Steve Jobs has been working on for more than a quarter-century, which again is that of the personal computer that is literally as easy to use as a coffee maker, and since you can’t hack your coffee maker (well, except for a tiny percentage of you), this too is a closed system, as was the original Macintosh. That didn’t stop people from hacking the Mac from day one, ditto for the iPhone being “jailbroken” within days of the first one being released into the wild. And it even gave those who did so a little bit of a frisson at sticking it to The Man in the Black Turtleneck! See how everyone wins?
If that’s not for you, fine. Whinging about the Apple zombies harshing your mellow really just signifies that you’re buying into the hype too, just from the other end. You still have the Macs with command lines and everything. I’m on the fence myself, since for a couple hundred more than the high-end iPad I could get a laptop that I can install and play big-boy games on. But, I tell you what, I tried one out at Best Buy last night and it was fiiiiiiiiine. After I’d been playing around for a bit, doing the testing-my-favorite-sites-for-Flash-fail thing, I noticed that the other three demo iPads were all being played with… and then, looking behind me, I noticed a young woman waiting very patiently for her turn. I smiled and handed it to her. That’s right, I helped recruit someone to the dark side! Resistance is futile! Mwah ha ha ha!
Truculent:
So, wait…if I don’t like something, I’m not supposed to express an opinion on it? I’ll keep that in mind next time we make fun of wingnuts.
I don’t think this is a valid response.
Making fun of wingnuts because they are attempting to push programs and ideas that are detrimental to public welfare does not equate to making fun of a plastic bauble because you don’t like the price point/features/marketing campaign.
If you’re against technology based on the environmental impact, then apple is not the only chuck of floating plastic in the sea (so to speak). There are so many consumer products producers that are guilty that to limit it to Apple is disingenuous.
Plus, I just like to be contrarian. So there!
Hey, me too! It’s what’s for breakfast.
Certainly no offense intended, if indeed any was taken. I just like to say STFU. I’m childish that way.
Great, another geekazoid flamewar *yawn*.
FWIW, even if I had the loose cash and an overwhelming lust for the newest bright ‘n shiny, I wouldn’t buy the first generation. Just wait, within a year or two, Apple will roll out iPad II, which will run Flash, can run multiple apps simultaneously, will have a phone function and a camera and cost about the same. In the meantime, Compaq will introduce its own hand-held touch-screen tablet PC that has all these features at half the price. Within 5 years, you’ll be able to get a pad computer from a gumball machine, and still get gum.
(And, FYWP: posting 2 comments in a 24-hour period is not “too fast”.)
Very ingenious.
His scheme took a bit of a hit with AppleTV, to be sure…I mean, the first release was a garbled mess, you needed a computer to interface with the iTunes store, it couldn’t handle wide-screen TVs, and so on, and the re-release, while technically better, hit a field of crickets and all but disappeared.
He’ll probably revisit that whole idea by turning the server into a TV set, because Apple has always been about streamlining the experience, even if it means having a monopoloy on the hardware.
He supports BK by eating 10 bacon double cheeseburgers a day?
I’ve long toyed with the idea of opening one of those “We sell high-fat food to piss off libruls” restaurants, and then hiring actors to portray stereotyped libruls who will pout and cry about all the fat wingnuts eating the high-fat food.
‘Cause Jonah would show up, eat himself to death, and leave everything to me in his will.
my iPhone spent part of last night inside a fish….
Just wait, within a year or two, Apple will roll out iPad II
I sold my first iPhone (3G) on eBay for $200 more than I paid for it.
I WELCOME release 2.0!
my iPhone spent part of last night inside a fish….
Zombie fish needed to make a phone call?
Didn’t read most of the thread (and I’d like someone, maybe Steve Jobs, to compensate me for the few minutes I *did* spend), but, on the topic of Mac/PC flamewars, I’d like to announce the following:
I’M USING PARALLELS ON A MACBOOK PRO.
What now, bitches? What now?
I haven’t owned an Apple computer since 1983. Right now I can’t see the need to buy an apple product. That said, I wouldn’t go “oh, take it away and sell it! Get it out of my sight!” if someone made a gift of an iP{[ao]d|hone} to me.
Actor, you have a valid point. I had a friend who bought 2 of the very firstest iMacs when they came out (the ones that looked like R2D2 dyed like Easter eggs): One to use, and the other to keep in its original, factory-sealed packaging as a collector’s item. I lost touch with him over the years, but if he still has it, I’ll bet it would fetch a few shiny dimes today.
I had a Mac classic for a number of years. Worked fine for basic documents, etc.
Then when I had to buy a computer, I just couldn’t work up to pay more money, even though the Mac would have been nice.
This device (iPad) I don’t see for me right now, since I’ve already got a mobile internet connection and what I think is a really good laptop, and, holy god, I don’t want to live my entire existence with the internet stapled to my forehead.
It’d be really cool if I got one for free, including service, but if I were rich, I’d give it to my Mom and she’d probably have loads of fun with it.
Your mom has loads of fun with things that cost a lot less than an iPad, my friend.
That’s true. But I’m not rich, either, so it’s sort of a moot question. I’d probably also get her a trip around the world or whatever, but that’s not on the timetable yet, either.
Your mom has loads of fun with things that cost a lot less than an iPad, my friend.
Some of them even pay her.
Some of them even pay her.
In POGS.
In POGS.
iPOGs
In POGS.
In iPOGS.
Hey, maybe I should refresh more often.
Hey, maybe I should refresh more often.
That’s what his mom said.
Do you carry iPOGs in iBAGs?
Do you carry iPOGs in iBAGs?
About 2003 I went looking for a laptop knapsack. The one I liked was designed for ibooks (I had a PC laptop at the time) and was called the “iBag.” It sounded then, and it sounds now, like an unfortunate piece of OR equipment.
I thought the thread title was just to get the maximum hits on Google.
It sounded then, and it sounds now, like an unfortunate piece of OR equipment.
Sorta like a Foley catheter, only less clinical.
I do find Apple-hate (which is different from perfectly legitimate Apple criticism) amusing, but then again I own Apple products, which probably biases me (plus the fact that I did Apple tech support at my workplace back in the mid-90s when my first career flamed out).
That said, I’m not an OS fundamentalist. I’m getting ready to buy Windows 7 and install it on my iMac because I can run things *cough*EmpireTotalWar*cough* with Win 7 that I can’t run with Mac OS right now. *shrug* Right now, I can’t justify the expense of an iPad and if I could, I would at the very least wait until the 3G version came out (which should be pretty soon). iPhone? It’s a very nice device, but my carrier (T-Mobile) doesn’t offer the iPhone, the iPhone is expensive, and my BlackBerry does about 80-90% of what I’d use an iPhone for, so my next phone will probably be another BlackBerry. I may even go retro and not get another smartphone.
Repig,
It’s not even the highest rated post with this exact title and this exact text!
http://www.spotlynx.com/node/6176
“I have a serious problem with the model that Apple is putting forth. Now, I know that I don’t have to participate in that model, but we all know that Apple is at the forefront of consumer technology innovation. They are trendsetters, and I’m not fond of the type of trend this technology could set.”
The trend I hate Apple setting is the “tech innovation is only for those with goo-gobs of discretionary income–everyone else has to wait a year or more till said innovation trickles down (or rich folks’ cast-offs hit eBay.)” If I remember my American entrepreneurial history correctly, the vast majority of game-changing innovations were made available to the mass market a lot faster than Apple unleashes theirs. Sure, automobiles were at first a rich person’s toy, but once they were mass-marketed, innovations usually went directly to the masses via each year’s new model. If Apple is so brilliant and unique and all, why can’t they make all their products more cost-accessible?
“The other issue I have isn’t with the iPad itself, but the way that we treat new, shiny shit. This stuff has an environmental and social impact, and I hate hate hate the way we’re moving toward electronics as being disposable consumer goods.”
I was under the impression that Apple’s items not only last a while, but get snapped up on the used-electronics circuit. Dunno how recyclable they are, though–or what programs Apple has in place to ensure that…
As for Apple nostalgia, I bought a Mac back in 1984. Paid the student (me entering grad school) discount package price of ~$2400 for a 128KB Mac, their printer, and an external 400KB floppy disk drive. The external drive was absolutely necessary because if you didn’t have it, many operations meant endless – REALLY endless – swapping of the floppy from the machine’s drive. And this was considered a Great Deal.
My (computer science major) roommate got the brand-new 1200 baud modem when it first appeared. We were in HEAVEN. Many times the alarm clock would ring at 5:55AM so that one of us could trudge to the computer (we shared the modem), dial up, log on to the school mainframe, and then go back to sleep for 2-3 hours. This was so we could keep the low overnight connect rate (as long as we stayed connected, which was never a problem in the old days of the Telephone Monopoly)
It’s not even the highest rated post with this exact title and this exact text!
I certainly hope that all the thousands of hippie freak, Stalinist Socialist Nazi Liberal Anti-American types that lurk here KNOW WHAT TO DO about this deplorable situation!
Sure, automobiles were at first a rich person’s toy, but once they were mass-marketed, innovations usually went directly to the masses via each year’s new model.
That’s not true.
Take the latest innovations in cars: radar. You’ll only find that shit on Lexuses or Mercedes. This is a crash avoidance sensor that scans the road ahead and stops your car, whether you’ve hit the brakes or not.
Nearly every innovation on cars has appeared in high end vehicles first.
Apple and the environment:
They used to have a horrible reputation but they’ve taken some steps towards improving it:
http://www.apple.com/environment/
If rich yuppies hadn’t spent ungodly sums in the 1980s on then ‘exotic’ coffees, I doubt these days the average coffee available in the grocery store or in restaurants would be different than the Folgers instant crystals or powdered bitter crap it all used to be.
My (computer science major) roommate got the brand-new 1200 baud modem when it first appeared.
I was watching the movie “Hackers” over the weekend, filmed in 1995, and one of the characters was in awe that Angelina Jolie’s character had….get this…a 28.8 baud dial-up connection.
How things change.
If rich yuppies hadn’t spent ungodly sums in the 1980s on then ‘exotic’ coffees
Quit blaming me for Starbucks, a’ight? I hated that shit then, and I hate it now. I like Folgers back then. It worked as actual fuel in the morning.
“That said, I’m not an OS fundamentalist. I’m getting ready to buy Windows 7 and install it on my iMac because I can run things *cough*EmpireTotalWar*cough* with Win 7 that I can’t run with Mac OS right now.”
Windows 7 is right terrific–and this is coming from someone who recently needed a new laptop, was fed-up with PC issues, and wasthisclose to going Apple.
I’m a big ol’ boring luddite.
I want my cell phone to make phone calls on, so I’ve got zero interest in iPhones and related gimmicks.
Ha! My phone is still permanantly attached to the wall and all my conversations on it still travel through the magic wires.
Ha! My phone is still permanantly attached to the wall and all my conversations on it still travel through the magic
Looxury!
When I have ta make a phone call, I toss the other can to the recipient!
Ha! My phone is still permanantly attached to the wall and all my conversations on it still travel through the magic wires.
I have a phone in my garage that has an actual rotary dial! It’s one of those old heavy black plastic bastards, with a receiver that can also be used as a weapon, and 2 brass bells inside that you can hear ringing clear in the house, which is a plus when I’m using noisy tools like the bench grinder or table saw.
Love it!
Just a quick thought on the iPad 3G: I have heard Internet DJs broadcasting from their cars using iPhones. SparkFun sells microphones for the Touch, as I think does Belkin, so it would be a lot easier to do this from an iPad.
Will it blend?
I thought the title was an homage to this.
Reggie Watts iz crazee
We woulda dreamed o’ havin’ can.
“Nearly every innovation on cars has appeared in high end vehicles first.”
Blast–really? I stand corrected. Time for a American entrepreneurial history refresher course..
It would need two independent audio outputs (one for program, one for monitor), otherwise no, it won’t be. There’s already a product like that for (zomg) Windows Phones. It uses a split-mono adapter, so you can have one mono output for program and one for monitor. Well that’s fine in some clubs with crappy audio systems, but it’s not good for any other application. http://www.mixhdj.com/
Unless, that is, when you say “DJ” you mean the dumbshits that think crossfading their ipod playlist counts as DJing. Then, yea, there’s an app for that.
I was under the impression that Apple’s items not only last a while, but get snapped up on the used-electronics circuit. Dunno how recyclable they are, though–or what programs Apple has in place to ensure that…
Yeah, Apple products have a pretty good resale value. I traded in my iBook G4 for a new Intel Core Duo iMac, and got a decent discount as a result. More than I thought I would.
Windows 7 is right terrific–and this is coming from someone who recently needed a new laptop, was fed-up with PC issues, and wasthisclose to going Apple.
I’ve also heard this from folks in the know. So I’ll have a Windows 7 partition to run games and such on, and a Mac OS partition for everything else. Win!
“If rich yuppies hadn’t spent ungodly sums in the 1980s on then ‘exotic’ coffees…”
Just because someone is broke doesn’t mean they are unable to appreciate or use the new. One could make an excellent case that broke folks need innovation more than rich ones because the former lives’ are much harder.
The people who note that the Touch is the only device in it’s segment on the market currently are right, however, I think that when my Nokia N800 becomes somehow unusable I’m going to eBay another N8x0 device. I don’t understand why Nokia did not make a non-cell version of the N900, but they didn’t.
I cannot bring myself to use any mobile iProducts, simply because as a hobbyist programmer I do not appreciate $100 a year for a development license plus the code signing requirement. As much as I see myself as a platform pragmatist these days (I use Linux but I develop using Mono–open source version of .NET, I am trying to learn Mac OS development) I cannot get past this.
That and the Nokia platform uses almost exactly the same APIs as most desktop Linux systems, so I can take almost-unmodified applications and run them.
Oh YEAH?! Well I’m running VMWare Fusion on a Mac Pro, with one screen showing Windows XP for the stupid Windows only stuff I have to have for work, and another screen with OpenSolaris for Java and Oracle development and management of all the Solaris servers I have to deal with. And another screen just ’cause I can. So there!
But my phone is a Blackberry with an actually button keyboard ’cause I like to push buttons. And I’ve never purchased digital music through iTunes, I subscribe to emusic for that. Pigeon hole me now LIBS!!!!
Oh, and ZOMBIES!!!1!one!!!
I bought an 80G iPod four years ago and never had one problem with it. I wish it would break so I’d have a legitimate excuse to buy one with more memory, ’cause I got like 200-something gigs of music. I also got a Samsung Mythic, which has internet access and Wikipedia, so I finally achieved my boyhood dream of owning a Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. Now, if only a spaceship would come and get me to finalizes the deal.
I fucking hate conference calls.
Anyway. Apart from your valid environmental concerns (which is one reason why you still can’t get my 1993 model Performa 6360CD out of my hands, despite the fact that I barely use it to run the lights in my house when I’m away), what trend are you concerned about?
With the normal environmental concerns about computers comes the fact that this thing is disposable; you can’t replace the battery, so when it’s done, it’s done. You can’t physically repair it at all.
Additionally, this disposability, along with the hype of products, enables Apple to sell more shit to people that they don’t necessarily need.
As far as using the device itself, Apple seems to hate DRM until it interferes with its business model. You can’t do *shit* with this thing unless it’s pre-screened and approved by Apple. Obviously, this isn’t the only device that has this problem, but the fact that it’s a growing trend and has been applied to something so popular does alarm me a little.
And I can’t figure out how it’s any more useful than any other product on the market. It only has ONE USB port. It doesn’t even play Flash*, FFS, and it’s twice as expensive as a netbook. The platform’s not new, and it’s not going to replace the laptop. I just don’t get it.
And again, if it serves a good purpose in your life, I’m not going to judge you for buying it. I’m just confused and a little disturbed by the hype surrounding something that doesn’t seem to be that useful.
Oooh, forgot my little *!
One good thing I will say is that this will probably speed the growth of HTML5 and move us away from fucking Flash. But I’ll wait to jump on the non-Flash bandwagon until HTML5 is much more ubiquitous.
HTML5 is broken as there is no blink tag.
Thankfully we can still create our own <blink> tag with a little CSS and scripting.
And man I wish WP would let me do that here, there’s nothing like a big dose of <blink> to brighten up a thread.
So, wait…if I don’t like something, I’m not supposed to express an opinion on it? I’ll keep that in mind next time we make fun of wingnuts.
I don’t think this is a valid response.
Making fun of wingnuts because they are attempting to push programs and ideas that are detrimental to public welfare does not equate to making fun of a plastic bauble because you don’t like the price point/features/marketing campaign.
What if I think it’s a step (or at least represents a step) toward a society I think will suck? I’m not trying to be a drama queen, here. (Well, maybe a little). At the very least, it represents some of the worst things about consumerism.
If you’re against technology based on the environmental impact, then apple is not the only chuck of floating plastic in the sea (so to speak). There are so many consumer products producers that are guilty that to limit it to Apple is disingenuous.
Sure, I get that. I don’t limit this critique to Apple, though. I also think that if you’re going to consume something that does cause an environmental impact (which is pretty much everything), it should have some value, and not just be new/pretty/shiny.* I know those aren’t the only reasons people are buying iPads, and I’m certainly not saying that I’m perfect when it comes to my consumer choices, but the whole campaign around these things seems grossly consumeristic.
Certainly no offense intended, if indeed any was taken. I just like to say STFU. I’m childish that way.
No problem! It is, after all, just a computer. 🙂
*I actually am not fond of the aesthetics of the iPad, btw. I especially find the size to be kind of awkward.
Fucked up the italics on the first part there. Whoops.
If I ever get around to catching up with today’s technology and drag myself kicking and screaming into the century of the fruitbat I will definitely get one of these!
If I break out my aging HP TC1100 tablet down the pub, somebody invariably says “oooh, is that that new IPad?”
Yeah, it’s the “new” IPad.
It doesn’t even play Flash*
A-fuckin-men. Flash has caused me more problems downloading
porn videosgames and apps in Firefox than anything else.Apple annoys me, but Microsoft annoys me more. But I hate Apple fanboys much more than I hate the company [Steve Jobs brilliance does not cease to amaze me]. I like linux, but their fanboys suck too. Basically, I hate everyone
So is the iPad basically a touch-screen notebook computer? Are laptops to go the way of the walkman?
No one got the PENIS reference?
No need to somehow elevate it to a fetish.
No one got the PENIS reference?
If only it had included a reference to plaster.
Do you know what my favorite thing about the iPad is?
Everything.
Everything.
Jobs is standing over your desk with a gun, isn’t he?
Jobs is standing over your desk with a gun, isn’t he?
His gun is digging into my hip.
Nerd fight!
Look at those pocket-protectors fly!
If the phrase much ado about nothing didn’t exist, someone would have had to invent it to describe the level of hyperventilation that has accompanied the latest gadget from Apple. You can’t blame the company for going with what works – “iPad: Just A Really Fucking Big iPhone, Without The Phone” wouldn’t exactly move a lot of units.
The attempt to equate “clicking & dragging” with “workin’ in a coalmine” has been a source of great jocularity for me personally, likewise the sales campaign that equates a sexy user-interface with Reinventing Teh Computer.
Apple’s fortress mentality & cultishness really rub me the wrong way – & I’m still hearing slags of PC products in 2010 that haven’t been relevant since 2006. My laptop defrags automatically without any prompting, & I haven’t had a PC crash in many years – when I did it was because I was being a dipshit with the registry, not because of any inherent weakness of the OS. Same goes for malware & viruses – no problems with either for many years now.
All the problems I have now (besides FYWP) are either due to Firefox having the odd spasm of cyber-PMS or my modem being a catatonic bastard … modems are the hardware that need serious updating, not PCs.
I’m going to hazard a guess that “I don’t have to think” isn’t really a positive point in one’s favor in regards to using computers, especially if you’re using one for work or to do your taxes … being an elitist arugula-loving liberal heathen, I think thinking is a good thing.
Not thinking can lead to death by fork-related injury – or worse, working for National Review Online.
I’m going to hazard a guess that “I don’t have to think” isn’t really a positive point in one’s favor in regards to using computers, especially if you’re using one for work or to do your taxes … being an elitist arugula-loving liberal heathen, I think thinking is a good thing.
You clearly misread my intent, which is that I don’t have to think about the PC when I’m doing my work on my Mac.
I chalk that up to the unintelligence of being in the herd.
Bay of Arizona:
Not exactly. It can be used as such, but it’s really meant to be more of a satellite workstation for your main computer as well as a gaming system. Like I said at the beginning of the thread, it’s easiest to understand it as a spiritual successor to the TRaSh-80 model 100 — a lightweight portable computer with all the basic functionality, no frills, and a whoppingly huge battery life. It’s also somewhat of an answer to the “that’s all I can do with my ebook reader?” problem.
Honestly? It’s not revolutionary. But it is definitely an evolution, as well as a convergence of three different strains of the ultraportable computer world (PDAs, ebook readers, and tablet notebooks).
I use a Mac. It’s a computer. Works good for art. I have an Iphone. Does exactly what I want it to do, which is play the Tower Madness game and not get phone reception in my area. Because I fucking hate cell phones and I don’t want to talk to anybody.
I can’t imagine wanting an Ipad. What the hell is it? It’s just a big screen for rubbing with your finger. So it does everything my phone does except get phone calls? Brilliant. My phone already does that.
You know what I want? I want some kagenius to come up with a pair of glasses that do all this shit and have a spatial reference capability so I can just point around in the air instead of rubbing the screen like it was a giant, flat clitoris.
I’ll buy one of those. And I’ll wear it around in public.
rubbing the screen like it was a giant, flat clitoris
You make this sound like a bad thing, but you DO realize this is my entire “pick up chicks” strategy for later this month?
my iPhone spent part of last night inside a fish….
Wasn’t me.
Unless he was talking dirty, then it might have been me.
Do you know what my favorite thing about the iPad is?
Everything.
fuck off twat