Two Three for the price of one!

First, Shorter Michelle Malkin I:

That U.S. Marines are being held in solitary confinement is the ACLU’s fault.

Shorter Michelle Malkin, Version II:

Being held for a few months with access to counsel and visiting rights for your family is just as bad as being held at Guantanamo.

A review of what can be considered teh funny, likely to offend some people edition:

This is not funny:

Michelle Malkin can shoot ping pong balls out of her vagina.

This is funny:

So I grabbed her little sister and pulled her in front of me.
As the bullets began to fly
The blood sprayed from between her eyes
And then I laughed maniacally
Then I hid behind the TV
And I locked and loaded my M-16
And I blew those little f***ers to eternity.

Bonus points: Unlike liberals, conservatives respect the military:

I sent it around to my friends with the caveat not to post it so [Belile] wouldn’t suffer the wrath of the humorless asshat sycophants in charge of the military[.] [Emphasis added]


Comments: 24


My first instinct is to say the way these guys are being detained is excessive. Is this standard for Marines under arrest?

My son spends 24 hours a day locked in a small 8×8 cell with only a small bed, a small stainless steel toilet, and a shelf for some of his personal belongings. He is not allowed to write letters because pens or pencils are considered “weapons.” He is allowed to walk out of his cell only when he showers or visits with his family and attorneys. But when he does, he is shackled hand and foot.


(and just to set the record straight, I am not excusing Michelle Malkin’s gross hypocrisy about suddenly caring about prisoners’ rights. I’m just wondering why these guys need to be shackled like this and kept in 8×8 cells.)



I agree — but is Malkin really so dumb as to be surprised that the Bush administration is happy to detain people who have not been convicted of a crime for an extended period of time? While arguing at the same time that it cannot or will not divulge why, indicate when a trial will take place, or place severe restrictions on them? This is how they work!

The irony of the outrage coming from the author of In Defense of Internment is just extra.


You should never, never, never say “me love you long time” or photoshop it on MMs t-shirt. Never.


Betcha the right will gain just as much sympathy for prisoners out of this as they did for drug addicts after Rusk Limbaugh. I.e., zilch. It’s all whining and special-case pleading out of these asshats–arguments they call ‘treasonous’ or actions they call ‘immoral’ are only so if a wingnut didn’t do them.

Methinks Brad’s probably right about this being excessive detention, but me-also-thinks that this does have more than a whiff of hypocrisy to it. You know, like the little old ladies who bathe in Chanel #5 knockoffs before church.


As in, it’s more than a light aroma. I’m not beating on little old churchgoing ladies. Shocking for a liberal, I know.


– Someone should rat poison in Justice Stevens’ creme brulee.
– I’m going to beat you within an inch of your life and slap my COCK in your face.
– CT at Daily Kos is all thankful that he was Yearly Kos so his family wasn’t around when a truck drove through his baby’s bedroom. Let’s see how thankful he is when the drunk driver comes back for another shot!

NOT Funny, because they are cruel and vicious:
– In some pictures, Bush looks like a chimpanzee.
– Bush is not very artericurlit and he misperpounces a lot of words.
– Steven Colbert.


I do not know for sure, but I’m willing to bet that there are strict regulations for what is required when someone is charged with multiple Homicides. The tendency for gov. agencies is to be excessively cautious so all people charged with a capital offense are treated as though it were a “worst case scenario”. Now, I’m not minimizing the allegations against these soldiers but their crimes occurred under circumstances that are not likely to reoccur in their present surroundings and I think it’s probably safe to say these guys don’t have criminal histories so they really aren’t the worst case scenario from a jailers point of view. So yeah, it’s excessive, but probably required by military regulations.


wow that’s some sentence.


Wen Ho Lee was put in solitary confinement for nine months and then released with an apology from the federal judge who’d been lied to as to what Lee had done (which was nothing, other than piss off wingnut Los Alamos official Notra Trulock, who had New York Times reporter Jeff Gerth wrapped around his little finger). When did Magalagaganalang rise to his defense?


Also not funny….Michelle Malkin has as many abortions as she can because she just loves “Fetus Adobo.”

I don’t ever want to see anyone write something like.


Goldstein takes Malkin to dinner:

“She’ll have the Fetus Adobo, and I’ll have the Cock au Vin.”


Dorothy, I’m afraid your third ‘funny’ example embodies a serious error. That comment (by Daniel Davies of Crooked Timber), as well as the original Harry Hutton post, were dry British humour from dry British leftists. Daniel and Harry are about as far from an American Republican as one could get. That so many Yanks misread them (prim Kossacks with stern clucks of disapproval; inbred sheetdraped hookworm-infestees with rowsing yee-has) only makes it funnier.


In my opinion, we need to form a unit made up of incarcerated soldiers…let them loose on Iraq, “Dirty Dozen” style.


As far as the incarceration goes, it’s important to recognize that it’s all posturing for the media. There is no reason why this guy couldn’t have been confined to quarters. If this had come about before the Haditha revelations, that’s likely what would have happened. But the DOD needs to create the appearance that they are reacting in a very strong fashion to any type of perceived iraqi civilian abuse.

Recomended Reading



In my opinion, we need to form a unit made up of incarcerated soldiers…let them loose on Iraq, “Dirty Dozen� style.

In 2006, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn’t commit. These men promptly escaped a maximum security stockade to the Raleigh, NC underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire… the soldiers who killed all those women and children at Haditha – the H-Team. (They work for Blackwater now.)


Oh great, Michelle Malkin’s vagina.

I was hoping this would be a good day, but I think I’ll start drinking.


I was hoping this would be a good day, but I think I’ll start drinking.

duh duh DUH!..(ie. ominous chord of music).

I don’t drink anymore. Meaning the booze doesn’t actually pass through my gullet. I’ve been on a Stolichnaya drip for weeks now. I highly recommend it.


You know, she could go to Iraq and re-take Fallujah by shooting modified, ping-pong ball-shaped grenades out of her coochie. “Blam blam blam!! Suck on that, Hadji!!1!”

Who would pay her in the movie–that chick from Sideways? Not likely.

Oh yeah. Lindsay Lohan.


“In my opinion, we need to form a unit made up of incarcerated soldiers…let them loose on Iraq, “Dirty Dozenâ€? style.”

Are you sure we haven’t?


I’ve never understood who first looked a pingpong ball and thought “Oh fuck yeah, that’s so hot.” I mean…what kind of nonesense is that? In any case, this post made me squirt my morning Screwdriver out of my nose.


I was once saw a porn movie that had a mock “Gong Show” scene, featuring Wendy O. Williams popping ping-pong balls out of her cooter. They didn’t exactly shoot out but did fly with no small velocity. It was more disturbing than erotic, though.


Urk. I will never enjoy the ping-pong scenes in Forrest Gump again. Actually, I’ll enjoy them a lot more, and laugh for seemingly no reason. In a similar vein, I always get a cheap laugh when my wife drags me along to a fair or craft show. There’s always that one booth where they will decorate you with cute pictures of flowers or rainbows. You know what I mean, the one with the sign that says, “Face Painting, $1.00”. Am I wrong to laugh?


Hey Matt T.,

I think I know the movie you’re talking about, but wasn’t it called “The Bridges of Madison County”? And that wasn’t Wendy O. by the way, it was Maryl Streep. Glad I could clear that up.


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