There’s Got To Be A Porning After

K-Lo, like a traditional upstate New York roast-beef sandwich, is a bit soggy on the bottom though on a roll.

Anonymous [Kathryn Jean Lopez]

The piece we published today on the devastating effects of pornography has kept a steady stream of e-mails coming into my inbox.

Make that ‘a steady stream of e-males coming into my inbox,’ and it…uh, ooh, er, BHUU-AAARGHLPF [splattering] oh my god it’s GLAAA-UUUORP [splattering] all up in that FLAAA-ghnr-AAAAA-hkn-AAAAA-snkf-AAAAA-ALPHfspt [extended multidirectional splattering] ulp, cough, ah, heh.

Some telling devastating tales. Some confessions.

Make that ‘some telling of devastating people’s tails whilst hearing confession’ and HUUUOLP-glarf [splattering, clonk, bounce-bounce-roll-roll] Wow, I think I just coughed up my skull.

Some adamant defenses of pornography from frequent users.

re: pornography, hey k-lo, don’t drink don’t smoke what do you do? best wishes, Adam Ant

re: re: pornography, also k-lo, what do you fap-fap-fap-fap-fap-ahh! sorry, needed to squirt one out while thinking of myself in a big, fluffy pirate shirt. best wishes, Adam Ant

re: re: re: pornography, um k-lo, I think it’s BLAAAAA-oogah [splattering, clonk, bounce-bounce-roll-roll] heh heh now i can pee in my skull. no, that’s somebody else’s skull, wait, WTF? Adam Ant

re: re: re: re: pornography, hooty-hoo, me again. this skull has a mustache so it must be john stossel’s and i’m going to make it say the communist manifesto. that okay with you, stossel? oh hi adam, hey didjever notice clowns, in the beep-beep car? what a bunch of clowns! wakka-wakka hi i’m john stossel heh heh. well better get started. wakka-wakka, phil spector is haunting europe. later kid, Adam Ant
PS i’m worried about my nephew ike. he seems so defeated.

Bleg [Jonah Goldberg]

Hey, I need to research something for my newspaper column but don’t have time to look it up, so send what you’ve got via email. UPDATE: uh, I mean also send the name of the thing I need to research. there’s no time to look it up. it’s in that notebook over there marked…wow, gotta go, walking dog walking dog goin’ thataway dog dog
04/01 01:57 PM

Ergo bibamus [Victor Davis Hanson]

Say, Hanson here. Where might Jonah have gone so hasteningly, for he and I were about to catch a production of ‘Once Upon a Barstool’ if you know what I mean. Hmm, notebook. Says it’s a BHUU-AAAURGHLPF [splattering] uh, uh, ee, FLAAA-AAA-AAA- [splattering] -AAA-AAA-AAA- [360-degree roto-hurl barfnado] -AAA-AAAULPHsp mind erased go floor [plunk] eep
04/01 02:07 PM

Hi Guys [Rich Lowry]

Hey, who threw up, erased Hanson’s brain, and left this notebook of aaaagh kerplunkity bounce bounce bounce roll roll stairs bunkita-bunkita-bunkita-bunkita-whappita-bunkita-bunkita-bunkita-plaf roll roll bunkita-bunkita-bunkita-bunkita-bunkita-bunkita-bunkita-bunkita-plat roll roll curb roll [truck horn] [unpleasant crunchy wet noise] [gasps, shouts, dog barking]
04/01 02:12 PM

Some cries for help.

elp [Rich Lowry]

hepl
04/01 02:14 PM

Please feel free to keep them coming.

Ooh, mine’s coming. …No, wait: She’s actually trying to run with it?

I’ll report back here before too long.

Oh come back, it’s ‘getting too long,’ woohoo.

Good night for now.

Well, if there’s a knock on our door, we’re feigning a stroke. Just saying.

 

Comments: 493

 
 
 

Damn you Gavin.

I’ll never eat beef-on-weck again.

“shudder”

 
 

Damn you, I think I actually hurt myself laughing.

 
 

With this and the /b/tards post, I think you’re trying to help people with their diet resolutions by turning their appetites off forever.

 
 

Heh, way to stand and deliver*, Gav.

*do you see what I did there? DO YOU???

 
A Streetcorner named Desire
 

Scene 1

[Dishevelled man enters confessional booth] [sound of scratching]

[Dowdy nun-like person – no hijab – waddles into adjacent booth]

– What is it, my child?
– Er, okay, is this Sister Immaculate Chastity? I need to speak to the Sister.
– It is I.
– Okay, I gotta porn confession.
– Go on.
– I used to think porn was icky. And it objectictifed women and was… corrupting, I guess.
– And?
– I don’t know now. The garden-variety Playboy, Hustler material that was never okay with me. But actual real live stuff, that’s a whole other thing.
– You mean porn films?
– No. I mean actual live stuff.
– Sex shows?
– But not any sex shows. Mainly lesbian-bondage sex shows.
– GET OUT OF HERE, MICHAEL, GET OUT!! If you must, the Family Values and Real American Confessional Booth brought to you by Sarah Palin PAC is down the corridor, turn left and left again. But do not bring this filth to me.
– Hey, I’m not Michael Steele, and in any case, Michael Steele did not go to a lesbian bondage themed club on January 19. For the record, Sister.
– Okay, I am sorry, this stuff makes me mad. Please go on.
– I said mainly lesbian-bondage sex shows. But not only this. I just saw the most aweso… I mean I just saw a show with, erm, how to I put it, young dudes.
– Chippendales?
– Younger.
– How much?
– Think Levi Johnson minus 10 years.
[silence.]
– And I was totally arou…
– Enough! Shh. I need to think.
[Silence]
– Okay. To tally your sins then, we have pornography, homosexuality and pedophilia.
– I’m really sorry.
– Don’t apologize. Leave the building now. Turn right, walk two blocks and take a left. About 150 yards, go in the main entrance and start talking.
– Is like a shrink or something?
– No. But they will fix you up properly, if you know what I mean.
– A clinic?
– No, it’s the local Catholic Church

 
 

If the blog is a-rockin, don’t come knockin.

 
 

The destruction of the universe is nigh as the matter and anti-matter of K-lo and the word “sex” approach ever closer.

Say your prayers.

 
 

The destruction of the universe is nigh as the matter and anti-matter of K-lo and the word “sex” approach ever closer.

Cue the Jaws music.

 
 

If anyone has confessed to jerking off over a picture of K-load I will personally smash his skull in.

I’m big into acts of mercy.

 
 

The fact is why don’t you faggots shut up?

 
 

Breaking news: Stross and Doctorow to write Atlas Shrugged sequel.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Oh nasty! I kept waiting for the punchline of that Michelle Malkin fanfic piece (a la “I Fucked Ann Coulter in the Ass, Hard”), but it did not come, so to speak. And it was pretty much the most boring erotica I’ve ever read.

 
Ted the Slacker
 

If anyone has confessed to jerking off over a picture of K-load…”

Will add this to the list of things I never thought I’d see in writing but the natives of Sadly No proved me wrong.

 
 

Ann Coulter has an ass? I must examine the photos more closely…except that I must not.

 
 

So…
Miss K-Load, moved by an anonymous letter about the the horrible family-ruining powers of porn, has invited people to send in their own anonymous confessions about their porn addictions. But. I mean.

Someone could write ANYTHING, no matter how lurid and she’d accept it as the gospel truth.

There must be some mistake. My birthday isn’t for MONTHS.

Oh well, who am I to turn down such an unexpected gift.

Dear Miss Lopez,
I never thought looking at a Playboy when I was 15 would lead me to a life of tentacle porn addiction and destroy my marriage.

A young, devout Christian woman such as yourself won’t know what tentacle porn is, so I will tell you…

 
Ted the Slacker
 

Now here’s a question… what prompted K-Lo’s porn-bleg? A clue: “I recently went to a press conference for a Witherspoon Institute study”

Oh Chunky Reese, must you?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Ann Coulter has an ass?

I could be mistaken, but I believe that “ass” is a euphemism for “asshole” in this case, and I am quite certain Coulter has one of those, if not two.

Honestly, I am not a fan–it’s pretty vile, even for Coulter, and pretty misogynist. (No, Ann Coulter is not a man, and if someone’s going to make tranny jokes, they should at least be funny, if not original). /killjoy

 
Release the Kraken!
 

Lets get one thing straight right now. Kraken-porn has tentacles in it, but it is not tentacle porn.

 
Release the Kraken!
 

Only one more day until the tentacle…er, Kraken is released. I’m so excited I could plotz.

 
 

In other Rand-related news, editor David Hartwell (who lives in nearby Pleasantville) reported a weird humming emanating from the grave Rand shares with her husband Frank O’Conner in Kensico Cemetery in Valhalla, New York. Said Hartwell: “I think she’s become a Dean Drive.”

*SNERK*!!!

okay, that cheered me up.

Dean drive for those of you who don’t get the reference.

 
Spengler Dampniche
 

This is the filthiest post I’ve ever seen, anywhere in the internet. I’ve been abusing myself like a choirboy for an hour now, fapping with a brutal, jackhammer action of the entire arm and shoulder.

Just FYI.

 
Lingus the Cunning
 

Dear National Review,

I never thought it would happen to me, but..

 
 

BTW:

Anonymous [Kathryn Jean Lopez]

Anony-FAIL.

 
 

Gavin,

For putting K-Lo in any proximity to pornography earns you a skull-fucking.

STOP IT!

 
 

I’ll never eat beef-on-weck again.

Ahhhhhhhhhh, Buffalo.

 
 

Dean drive for those of you who don’t get the reference.

A motionless movement? Sounds like the Naderites.

 
Spengler Dampniche
 

Dear Ms. Lopez,

I can’t tell you what a relief it is to finally get this load off my chest.

Like a lot of normal, attractive, healthy guys with a fairly large penis, I like to work on my motorcycle on Sundays after Church. I’m no gearhead like that filth that broke Sandra Bullock’s heart. But I like to strip down the transmission and oil up the crank myself, that kind of thing, nothing major. I just like to feel the warm oil running down my well-muscled forearms and the resistance of steel against flesh as I twist the tool in my fist.

The tools I use belonged to my father, who was in the Navy. Boy, was he in the Navy. Even years after he left the service, he’d wear his old uniform down to the waterfront bars.

It just so happens the garage is separate from the house, as I live in an old-fashioned neighborhood of scrumptious 1920s bungalows with spacious backyards and immaculate front lawns. So I have some privacy in there. My wife is reliably in the house mixing her first cocktail around that time.

I was going through dad’s old tools, looking for a socket wrench, when I noticed the bottom of his box was loose. So I lifted it up. There was a false bottom! A secret compartment.

Inside were several grubby manila envelopes. I unwound the string with quaking, grease-blackened fingers. Out fell sheaves of photographs. Not printed stuff from a magazine, but actual snapshots. Of dad and his Navy buddies, and some other people.

At first, I thought it was pictures from Mardi Gras or something. There was nudity. A lot of it. And people in costumes of some kind, a lot of masks, and things with straps and buckles. Then I found pictures of dad and the others dressed as Nazis. They were obscene, these pictures. It took my mind a while to even grasp what I was looking at.

I’m no prude. I like to thrust my hefty cock into my wife with a steady, insistent force that builds to a pulsing, gut-wrenching climax, usually holding her down while she writhes and spits in my face, because she’s very much not into lovemaking. I once tried to talk her into anal, in fact, and she demanded we go to couples therapy. I guess you could say she’s a little bit of a prude. But when I aw these pictures of my father, I about threw up.

They were all black-and-white, those shiny, yellowing prints with the deckled edges you’d expect to find in an old shoebox in the attic. There was father, his immense, dark organ poised at the rim of some young woman’s anus, spewing ropes of glistening white slime while a burly fellow dressed like a policeman stroked his cock, tongue extended to catch the sour ejaculate. There was father again, a couple of naked showgirls twisting his tits while a man and a woman shared his cock between their mouths, lips locked on either side of the glans with a dab of cum beginning to emerge from the gaping aperture in dad’s gorged helmet.

There were dozens of such pictures. Ass-ramming, throat-stuffing, men and women tangled in a triumphant chaos of cum-streaked limbs, gender all nonsense now as they sucked at each other like greedy vampires. Sometimes there were terrifyingly young people, girls with breasts hardly budded, boys with scarcely any curls at the base of their pulsing, rigid penises. I felt like I needed to vomit.

But when I groped for the trash can, I felt a surge of insistent pleasure at my groin. I was hard as a rock! Instead of vomiting, I grabbed my member with both hands, smearing engine oil all over it until it was black and glistening like the shaft of the huge sailor in some of the pictures. I stroked and stroked and came with such force my back arched uncontrollably.

Well, that was that. At first I studied those pictures and pleasured myself. Then I started collecting. I amassed a huge pile of old hand-made pornography. Started collecting 16mm home movies, too, and set up a projector in the garage. My wife became suspicious, but as I stopped demanding sex from her, she didn’t ask too closely.

Then one day, the Girl Scouts came to the house. I was alone back in the garage. Heard the doorbell and told them to come around to the garage, where I was (for once) just working on my motorcycle, stripped down to my tee shirt because it was a sultry day. The girls —

My wife is here. Gotta go.

 
Ted the Slacker
 

OT, and too long, but this sort of thing gives me the lulz…

Malkini wants the poor, brutalized and enslaved CEOs of Fortune 500 companies to go Spartacus on something or other. HCR I think, but whatevs. Anyways, after explaining teh legendary symbolism, the comments are magnificent:

On March 31st, 2010 at 5:33 pm, vickisoup said:
I wish I was a businessowner. I’d be Spartacus!

Yeah! That’s totally what made Spartacus heroic!

On March 31st, 2010 at 6:57 pm, maddmatt3131 said:
We should all go Spartacus on the 21st. How about a Nation wide strike?

Hell yeah! Nothing like showing some CEO solidarity with some down-the-line French behavior!

On March 31st, 2010 at 9:14 pm, Ignatius Reilly said:
At some point, our intentions to resist this government become so serious that it is no longer prudent to express one’s full exasperation in public forums….

Huh, too scared to say “I am Spartacus”. Tough audience.

On March 31st, 2010 at 10:30 pm, englishqueen01 said:
Remember what happened to Spartacus and his followers, though. Not pretty. Apropos, but not pretty.

Um, yeah, “I am Spartacus.” *

*This shall in no way be taken as proof I am Spartacus.

On March 31st, 2010 at 11:56 pm, love2rumba said:
Remember what happened to Spartacus and his followers, though
Spartacus and his followers committed the fatal error of over-reach. Blart blart etc

*I am Spartacus.” *

*With a small wiener.

On April 1st, 2010 at 2:01 am, Republicanvet said:
The others that should also be standing with the CEO’s are any shareholders in those companies, or anyone contributing to a retirement account that may be invested in those shares.

“Who isn’t Spartacus?”

 
 

The whole article was the usual pearl-clutching nonsense from those who claim silly things with great gravitas but aren’t able to cite any actual… harm. The author cites here husband’s affair as evidence of her husband’s falling to the allure of porn, but that’s an odd thing to say about someone who fell for someone who is just the run-of-the-mill standard of beauty that’s not just found in porn but also in Hollywood movies, Greek statuary, and the beaches of Rio. In other words, someone had an affair and the wronged party blames porn. Not a flesh-and-blood person and another flesh-and-blood person, but the pixel and paper and video people found in porn.

In the world of people who are self-aware, unlike that of this psychologist who wisely does not give her name for the professional harm that would result, porn is just about looking at naked people and reading about their exploits, indulging in some fantasy, and maybe exploring a bit of the kinky stuff you’re too unsure if you’d like to even approach it with your significant other. As for it being addictive, that’s a load of crap. I’m not addicted to porn, I just like it. I also like news, blogs, facebook, television, movies, yoga, hiking, being naked, baths, showers, swimming, sunlight, and fantasy novels of various quality. All of those things can affect a marriage, relationships, work, education, social interaction with others, and child-rearing, but only porn would ever get singled out as the cause of an affair (except for facebook, especially if you’re an investor in MySpace) or a reason to seek therapy.

Such bullshit. A study, no, a meta-study, no”a 2000 meta-analysis of 46 published studies put out by the National Foundation for Family Research and Education at the University of Calgary” (sounds like a non-partisan agency for whose who don’t think that “Family” is code for “Fucking Christians Who Don’t Like Fucking”) said porn is bad, so I guess they think porn is bad. Great conclusion. My own study shows that my meta-analysis of the fucked up marriage of the author is the fault of marital discord. Sorry about your marriage, anonymous psychologist, but I think your husband is lying to you about his struggles with porn just because you’re a sap who wants desperately to believe he’s addicted because it’s too hard for you to admit that your husband likes to look at other women. He’s a shit and a liar, but you’re a sap. My other meta-analysis suggests that saps have an easy time finding new husbands who meet their needs, so get yourself out there and get that better man who will tell you all the lies you need to hear.

 
 

Spengler Dampniche said,
April 1, 2010 at 15:37

I was all set to close my office door and, um…

And then I saw you addressed this to K-Lo! ACK!

 
 

jon said,
April 1, 2010 at 15:51

I’m not addicted to porn, I just like it.

Jon? Jon Stewart?

 
 

What’s weird about this article is, the guy confesses to having had a porn “addiction” that not only predates his marriage, but his puberty.

OK, fair enough. Some men are addicted to porn. It’s part of why porn consistently is the most popular topic on the Net and porn sites are about the only sites that make a paying customer model work.

But here’s the weird part: he was clearly addicted to porn when she and him met, dated, and got married. He was addicted when they fucked enough times to spawn.

And yet, somehow, it’s porn’s fault for their divorce. Clearly, at one point, she satisfied the rest of his life enough that he didn’t run off with some big-titted hottie and now she doesn’t, but rather than take a long hard (pardon me) look at herself and maybe see how she’s changed, she takes the easy way out and blames porn.

I’m not saying porn had nothing to do with it. What I am saying is that porn gave him an escape route and facilitated his meeting someone who he was able to get out with.

That relationship is pretty much doomed from the get-go as well. Facilitation usually blows (pardon again) up in the facilitator’s face, as I can attest from more than one personal experience.

She’s a naif, and she’s counseling people?

 
Trilateral Chairman
 

Hey, I need to research something for my newspaper column but don’t have time to look it up, so send what you’ve got via email. UPDATE: uh, I mean send the name of the thing I need to research. there’s no time to look it up. it’s in that notebook over there marked…wow, gotta go, walking dog walking dog goin’ thataway dog dog

This may be the best summary ever of Jonah’s oeuvre. I really did laugh out loud, which was probably not the best impression to make on my boss just as she was returning from Passover, but there it is.

 
 

For putting K-Lo in any proximity to pornography earns you a skull-fucking.

Hey! This skull has a moustache!

Ik!

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Spengler Dampniche said,
April 1, 2010 at 15:37

I’m glad I’m not at work today, because this post would totally get me, uh…fired. Yeah. Fired.

 
Spengler Dampniche
 

You know who ELSE’s skull had a moustache?

 
 

You know who ELSE’s skull had a moustache?

John Stossel?

 
 

On April 1st, 2010 at 2:01 am, Republicanvet said:
The others that should also be standing with the CEO’s are any shareholders in those companies, or anyone contributing to a retirement account that may be invested in those shares.

…and anyone else who feels like being a fucking kapo.

Don’t worry, if you work FOR them you’ll be spared! Never fails!

 
Spengler Dampniche
 

Incidentally, I did send my little confessional along to K-Lo. Hoping for a prompt response.

 
Trilateral Chairman
 

She’s a naif, and she’s counseling people?

Yeah, I cringed when I saw that she was a psychologist, because her sheer lack of insight is just painful. That said, I don’t think it’s entirely her fault–the dissolution of a marriage is a difficult thing to handle, and we’re all blind about something or other. I think the problem is that the article went through the usual “editing” process at NRO, by which I mean that K-Lo liked the overall sense of the article (porn=bad, which is about as insightful as she can get) and therefore didn’t see any need to determine if any of its assertions were, well, sensible or true. To wit:

Imagine a drug so powerful it can destroy a family simply by distorting a man’s perception of his wife.

Simply? There’s no other issue here?

Picture an addiction so lethal it has the potential to render an entire generation incapable of forming lasting marriages

I suppose I can picture that, but I don’t see what it has to do with porn. An ENTIRE generation incapable of forming lasting marriages? ALL of us? Good God. I’ve looked at porn. I’ve been happily married for nearly 10 years now. Some of us aren’t addicted.

Consider a narcotic so insidious that it evades serious scientific study

A quick search of the ISI Knowledge Base reveals at least 8 published studies on the effects of pornography IN 2010 ALONE. (And yeah, I did just search for “pornography” at work.)

and legislative action for decades, thriving instead under the ever-expanding banner of the First Amendment.

I…what? Does she not know anything about the 2257 laws?

I’m hoping that she counsels people on an entirely unrelated issue–say, learning differences–or has the sense to refer people out if they come to her with a problem related to porn.

That relationship is pretty much doomed from the get-go as well.

That was my take as well. Porn isn’t the source of the problem in this case, nor is it the problem itself. Rather porn–and the big-boobed blonde, for that matter–is a *symptom* of the problem.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

And yeah, that column is crap, and the “studies” it cites are crap. All this kind of thing does is make people want to watch the kinkiest porn they can stand just to prove her wrong. Or is that just me?

 
 

Porn isn’t the source of the problem in this case, nor is it the problem itself. Rather porn–and the big-boobed blonde, for that matter–is a *symptom* of the problem.

I’m no psychologist and even if I was, I would never presume to Fristagnose this guy from my armchair, but it strikes me that he has some deep-seated issues with his self-image and with coming to grips (sorry) with his inability to transfer his lust to his partner.

I like porn, but I like it because it helps me and the current woman in my life have better sex. It fires my imagination and stimulates me. But I can see a point in any relationship where porn would mean more to me than to the woman in question, and it would have nothing to do with the porn itself.

 
 

All this kind of thing does is make people want to watch the kinkiest porn they can stand just to prove her wrong. Or is that just me?

I’ll bring the popcorn. And the restraints.

 
 

Behind this pseudonym lurks someone who worked in the commercial porn industry for a decade or so, and keeps track of this kind of crap.

The new approach (pushed by that scumbag Dr. Drew, among others) is that you prove how ‘bad” porn is for you by following the addiction model.

If you follow the linkz, you get the sad story of “anonymous” whose hubby literally follows the old “Reefer Madness” road to hell and perdition.

But this is all the same old pseudo-science of Comstock with a new “addiction” twist. Note that Tiger Woods went into “rehab” and now Jesse James went into “rehab” and the professional psychiatric associations agree with us professional pornographers, this is sheerest fuckwit bullshit. It’s based on pseudo science, and I guess the global warming denialist scientists who’ve been laid off are now gravitating to the “porn is a horrible horrible addiction, like drugs,” school of neo-censorship.

I’d like to be funny about this, but I’ve watched people I know go to jail over this, even though nobody has ever been able to ‘prove’ that anyone was harmed. Only Federal agents in Blind Fuckwit, Alabama, which is where they buy and then try (as in trial) porn, because any decent population center (outside of Censornatti) couldn’t find a jury who’d convict.

Oh, and that asshat stooge of el Bushé, Mary Beth Buchanan, who specialized in this crap back during the Reign of Terror is now running for Congress in Pennsylvania.

Jeebus.

 
 

Note that Tiger Woods went into “rehab” and now Jesse James went into “rehab” and the professional psychiatric associations agree with us professional pornographers, this is sheerest fuckwit bullshit.

Sure. It’s done for public consumption. It makes them appear to be “dealing” with the problem (and its possible that behind the walls they actually are), but the sole act of committing themselves to treatment is meaningless unless it’s done with commitment on the part of the individual to get healthy.

This is true of any “rehab” center, tho. I have a friend who was in both Smithers and Hazelden, and both times happened to have Billy Joel as a fellow resident. This was years before he was finally clean of his alcoholism.
He didn’t check himself in, he did it on the advice of his attorney/manager/agent as a way to show to the money folks who’d be funding his next project that he was reliable and wouldn’t lose their money unnecessarily.

When he finally realized that he was in desperate need of help, when his own daughter (if the stories I’ve heard are true) basically intervened, that’s when he got clean.

It’s the same thing with JJ and Tiger: they aren’t going to get clean until they own up to their own problems, and it’s not about the sex. It’s about adoration.

 
Spengler Dampniche
 

Fristagnose

WIN!

 
 

You know who ELSE’s skull had a moustache?

John Stossel?

Tom Friedman?
John Bolton?

ZOMG The mustaches! They’re alien invaders!

 
 

I am amused by those who loudly insist “all porn degrades women.” Not the kind I like.

 
 

Gary Ruppert said,

April 1, 2010 at 13:26

The fact is why don’t you faggots shut up?

Whoa…hit a nerve, I see.

Whatsa matter, Gary? Don’t like it when people expose your crush for the dumbshit that she is? Sort of reflects on you, doesn’t it?

 
Addicted To Addiction
 

I feel a mild urge to defend Dr. Drew slightly. The whole sexual addiction thing was a network invention. He shouldn’t have gone along with it, but prurience sells. His actual sex-rehab practice isn’t about sex addiction, but uncovering childhood abuse and abandonment that manifests itself in an inability to have mature relationships.

That said, what’s on the package is what’s in the box. He sold himself short by not calling the damn show “victims of child abuse acting out through sexual profligacy.”

Having offered that, I think he, along with many other professional addiction-is-everywhere players, overuse the term “addiction” to a degree that is dangerous. Psychology doesn’t seem willing to examine the boundaries of addiction, but just add everything into the mix as it comes along. People are diagnosed as addicted to driving cars, now, and scrapbooking. Instead of acknowledging our world is so out of whack that everybody is grasping at whatever relief they can get. And is it addiction, or sheer over-supply? Is it the phenomenal availability of resources that’s doing it (whatever “it” is)?

It was a lot harder (so to speak) to say someone was addicted to porn back when “porn” was a stack of magazines or some playing cards with dirty pictures on the back. We’re wallowing in the universal availability of absolutely everything. In such a situation, addiction loses its meaning, unless it’s a medically provable kind of addiction like heroin, alcohol, or tobacco.

But hey, I’m addicted to smelling my own farts, what do I know.

 
 

It’s the same thing with JJ and Tiger: they aren’t going to get clean until they own up to their own problems, and it’s not about the sex. It’s about adoration.

Nuh uh, it’s pr0n’s fault. Every bit of it. 95% of 82% of all spouses who failed to cheat did so before the invasion of interweb pr0nography.

 
 

You know, they’re remaking Pr0n with modern special effects and shiny new motorcycles.

 
 

We’re wallowing in the universal availability of absolutely everything.

There’s the key, I think: novelty. Between so much free time (like the Teabaggers) and so much disposable income, we have behavior that mimics addiction.

Give these people more to do and more reason to do it, and these addictions disappear.

 
 

You know, they’re remaking Pr0n with modern special effects and shiny new motorcycles.

I’m shocked this was not a porn movie.

 
 

I’m shocked this was not a porn movie.

It does have Olivia Wilde in a skin-tight costume with glowing highlights. As well as some dude I couldn’t be arsed to look up in a skin-tight costume with glowing highlights.

 
Like Trogdor, The Goddamn Batman Comes In The Night
 

Spengler Dampniche’s contribution was simply masterful.

It’s possible to get addicted to porn, just as it is to get addicted to anything that gives you pleasure, but the “treatment” that people like Woods and Jesse James get into is really just sackcloth and ashes updated for the new millenium, and has nothing to do with the real work of recovery and addiction treatment. It has less authenticity than James Frey.

 
 

It does have Olivia Wilde in a skin-tight costume with glowing highlights.

Thirteen? From House?

Oh man, WHY cant this be a porn movie?????

 
 

So the inevitable porn version will be “Pron – Lesbocy”?

 
 

It does have Olivia Wilde in a skin-tight costume with glowing highlights.

Thirteen? From House?

PARDON?

Linkage?

OOk?

Guh?

(too bad though it wasn’t Lisa Edelstein, though… *rawf*)

 
 

So the inevitable porn version will be “Pron – Lesbocy”?

A long time ago, in what seems like a different world, I went to see “Ain’t Misbehavin” on Broadway with my father. As we were walking through the late-70s wonderland of sleaze that was Times Square, we passed a movie theater showing “Misbehavin.”

 
 

Cameron and Thirteen should have a scene in the shower together, where Cuddy “interrupts” them.

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…

 
 

Thirteen? From House?

Oh man, WHY cant this be a porn movie?????

Google images will show her frontal in Alpha Dog…Not that I would know something like that. I was asked ot pass that along from a coworker.

 
 

AHHHH FUCKNUTS

fuckin’ Websense…

now I gotta wait until I get home!

bleh! I HATE BEING RESPONSIBLE

 
 

I HATE BEING RESPONSIBLE

In that case…I have this friend, see, and he could use some greenies…

 
 

Google images will show her frontal in Alpha Dog

Oh. Well. Yes. There is that.

 
 

I HATE BEING RESPONSIBLE

Many Teabaggers live off the dole.

 
 

If only I could reliably start my day laughing so hard.

 
 

As we were walking through the late-70s wonderland of sleaze that was Times Square, we passed a movie theater showing “Misbehavin.”

I’m shocked there was never a showing of “Pussies” or “Miss Guys-on” or “Les Jizz”…

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

I just can’t view pornography in the same light after clicking on the previous /b/ vs Hutaree thread.

1D6 SAN loss, indeed!

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

We hates El Cid, we does… but we hates ourselves more for not reading the thread before posting.

 
 

B^4,

Did I read correctly that the next Sekrit Syunse Klub meeting will be about molecular cooking?

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Picture an addiction so lethal it has the potential to render an entire generation incapable of forming lasting marriages

World of Warcraft?

Did I read correctly that the next Sekrit Syunse Klub meeting will be about molecular cooking?

Yeah, the lecturer will be making chicken molecule poblano.

 
 

SHIT–how in the fuck did they find out about that one? We went to great pains to make those appear to be visibility tape for drivers.

Well, back to the old drawing board, as they say.

Perhaps it’s time to accelerate Plan 9 from Islamofacistan.

 
Addicted To Addiction
 

So that’s a homeopathic recipe? One molecule of chicken feeds 10,000?

 
Spengler Dampniche
 

Can anybody develop an automatic nym-reversion script?

 
 

I guarantee you, 99 out of 100 men, if they suddenly turned into Tiger Woods (and all that entails), would become sex addicts. Because men are dogs (sorry, Rick Santorum).

 
 

Because men are dogs (sorry, Rick Santorum).

Really?

 
 

El Cid said,

April 1, 2010 at 12:54

With this and the /b/tards post, I think you’re trying to help people with their diet resolutions by turning their appetites off forever.

When I saw this in the other thread, I wondered if the two ideas could be combined. One can imagine the emails the /b/tards would send.

 
 

so lethal it has the potential to render an entire generation incapable of forming lasting marriages

Huh? Lethal?

entire generation? I better get my ass into rehab then, hadn’t I?

 
 

Really?

Yes, really. And I speak as someone who has been faithful to my wife of 20 years, while still harboring fantasies of fucking around on her. And if I were in Tiger’s position (ahem), i.e. money, fame, good looks, and the availability of desirable women, I don’t know tat I’d be able to not take advantage.

 
 

I guarantee you, 99 out of 100 men, if they suddenly turned into Tiger Woods (and all that entails), would become sex addicts. Because men are dogs (sorry, Rick Santorum).

Would they also suddenly crave watermelon and fried chicken and start driving badly?

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

SHIT–how in the fuck did they find out about that one? We went to great pains to make those appear to be visibility tape for drivers.

It’s even worse, comrade, they’ve figured out that the 2010 Census is just a ploy to tag their houses for later GPS-guided missile strikes.

 
 

Yes, really. And I speak as someone who has been faithful to my wife of 20 years, while still harboring fantasies of fucking around on her

That’s being human, not a dog. I promise that women harbor many of those same fantasies, and women cheat on their spouses/boyfriends quite often as well. We just don’t point and say “See, see–told you–they all dogz!”

 
 

Because men are dogs

From shitmydadsays…

“I like See’s candy. Put me in a See’s store, I’m eating candy. The whole world is Tiger’s See’s store, and the candy is vagina.”

 
 

Would they also suddenly crave watermelon and fried chicken and start driving badly?

Possibly watermelon, fried chicken and pad thai.

 
 

It’s fortunate that when men cheat they only cheat with other men because I would hate to think that women enjoy the boinking. Certainly my experience is that THEY DO NOT.

 
 

It’s even worse, comrade, they’ve figured out that the 2010 Census is just a ploy to tag their houses for later GPS-guided missile strikes.

Nooooooooo! I guess we underestimated their threat detection capabilities.

 
 

From the Bastard’s link:

One of the most distinctive technologies highlighted in the “Star Trek” franchise was the ability of the Federation/Star Fleet to find all of their people any time they wanted. The way Star Fleet did this was to have this little pin on their chests. This particular technique would apply more to microchip technology than to the GPS system in my view. Still, it is clear the NWO watched Star Trek and took notes.

The sneaky NWO watches TV!

 
 

That’s being human, not a dog.

There’s a difference?

 
 

I promise that women harbor many of those same fantasies, and women cheat on their spouses/boyfriends quite often as well.

Well, sure. But I still remember telling my wife, many years ago, that when a man walks down a street, he automatically sizes up the women he passes in terms of their sexual attractiveness. She couldn’t believe that this was true of all men, and certainly not true of women. I don’t know if it’s true of women, but I do think it’s true of most men.

 
 

I will tell you plainly, the NWO controlled American military wants these GPS markers so they can launch Predator Drone missile attacks, the aptly named HELLFIRE missile I might add, against a long list of undesirables here in CONUS, continental United States.

MALL NINJAS, HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Well, then, cripes, you idiots, you just invalidated any arguement you could possibly have for using the 2nd Amendment for defending yourself! Morans!

 
 

Harry Burns: You realize of course that we could never be friends.
Sally Albright: Why not?
Harry Burns: What I’m saying is – and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form – is that men and women can’t be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally Albright: That’s not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry Burns: No you don’t.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: No you don’t.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: You only think you do.
Sally Albright: You say I’m having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry Burns: No, what I’m saying is they all WANT to have sex with you.
Sally Albright: They do not.
Harry Burns: Do too.
Sally Albright: They do not.
Harry Burns: Do too.
Sally Albright: How do you know?
Harry Burns: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally Albright: So, you’re saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry Burns: No. You pretty much want to nail ’em too.
Sally Albright: What if THEY don’t want to have sex with YOU?
Harry Burns: Doesn’t matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.
Sally Albright: Well, I guess we’re not going to be friends then.
Harry Burns: I guess not.
Sally Albright: That’s too bad. You were the only person I knew in New York.

 
 

Pr0n=Evil?

Wonder how K-Lo feels about being 100% sympatico with radical feminism?

PS – only a dimbulb would click a link marked “aaaagh” … a dimbulb like me … yeah, thanks for the Malkin slashfic you SICK BASTARD. That Hutaree forum’s looking pretty good right about now — perhaps the gentle ministrations of Tubgirl can wash away the reeking fetid ooze that now roils around inside the howling vortex of torment where my soul used to be.

Maybe.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

I will tell you plainly, the NWO controlled American military wants these GPS markers so they can launch Predator Drone missile attacks, the aptly named HELLFIRE missile I might add, against a long list of undesirables here in CONUS, continental United States.

I plan on making PHAT L00T selling home chaff kits to these morans.

 
 

Well, then, cripes, you idiots, you just invalidated any arguement you could possibly have for using the 2nd Amendment for defending yourself! Morans!

No, it just means that they have a constitushunal to their own hellfires.

 
 

Breaking news: Stross and Doctorow to write Atlas Shrugged sequel.

That was pure win.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

It’s fortunate that when men cheat they only cheat with other men because I would hate to think that women enjoy the boinking. Certainly my experience is that THEY DO NOT.

Eesh. Either you need to find a better quality of lady to boink, or you should watch more porn and try to pick up some tips. (Note: most women aren’t really into the butt stuff–be sure to ask first).

 
 

Um. Yeah. Am I the only one who is certain Anonymous is about as real as the girl in Go Ask Alice?

 
 

I will tell you plainly, the NWO controlled American military wants these GPS markers so they can launch Predator Drone missile attacks, the aptly named HELLFIRE missile I might add, against a long list of undesirables here in CONUS, continental United States.

What I love about this quote is that they used the military acronym CONUS, rather than saying US. The juxtaposition of military jargon (as a way of lending weight to what they’re saying?) with the paranoid fantasy that predator drones will home in on lapel pins distributed by the NWO is full of win.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Well, sure. But I still remember telling my wife, many years ago, that when a man walks down a street, he automatically sizes up the women he passes in terms of their sexual attractiveness.

How the fuck do you people get anything done?

 
 

Tiger’s problem, (IMHO) is the same as other self-absorbed, entitled jackasses. It’s no different from David Vitter or John Ensign or Bill Clinton. They simply have a very distorted sense of entitlement, and don’t give a single shred of a shit about the damage they do to the people they claim to love. Every human (regardless of gender) harbors sexual fantasies about other people–could be movie stars, models, a neighbor, spouses siblings, etc…) For some, it is just a matter of being an incorrigible dog. For most, it’s a power issue. Not everyone handles power that way.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

PS – only a dimbulb would click a link marked “aaaagh” … a dimbulb like me … yeah, thanks for the Malkin slashfic you SICK BASTARD.

C’mon, jim, even though you know it’s wrong, you know it’s so, so right.

 
 

How the fuck do you people get anything done?

Posting here counts as “anything done” right?

 
 

Why can’t the NWO just use Mapquest and Google Earth?

BTW, we are apparently to assume the CIA has all the addresses and personal information of all the terrorists in Afghanistan, since evidently that’s the only way to target Predator attacks. DURF DURF *headdesk headdesk*

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

They simply have a very distorted sense of entitlement, and don’t give a single shred of a shit about the damage they do to the people they claim to love.

Exactly. And the whole “men are dogs” argument bugs me, because it’s used by both men and women to excuse men’s behavior and/or paint men as irredeemable, untrustworthy assholes when it comes to sex.

I, personally, think there’s also an element of people being pushed into monogamy who aren’t ready for it or who really don’t want it, but because it’s the socially acceptable thing to do, they do it. This doesn’t excuse their behavior, but it does make me wish that people could accept a more complicated notion of human relationships.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Posting here counts as “anything done” right?

*looks at unfinished paper and dirty kitchen*

Sure! Why not?

 
Oregon Beer Snob
 

he automatically sizes up the women he passes in terms of their sexual attractiveness

Oh good, I thought that was just me.

The other thing that I find amusing as I get older — pretty much all the women around my age (40) or younger (that aren’t obese) are hot. This is obviously not possible, so it must be something in my brain. And note that the window grows along with my age.

When I was younger, say mid-teens to mid-twenties, there was a much smaller subset of women I found attractive. I find it odd and also somewhat comforting that my view has changed. I wonder if this is an evolutionary trait or just me.

I’m short and bald (but incredibly fit and with a huge penis — one of those two is true) so luckily, since I’m married, I seem to be completely invisible to the opposite sex, so I just wander along enjoying my view on life.

 
 

I, personally, think there’s also an element of people being pushed into monogamy who aren’t ready for it or who really don’t want it, but because it’s the socially acceptable thing to do, they do it. This doesn’t excuse their behavior, but it does make me wish that people could accept a more complicated notion of human relationships.

Agreed–although they may enter into these things with every intention of being faithful, and then fall away later.

Still, though, it’s easy to sit in judgement and make self-righteous claims behind the electronic veil. It’s yet another to live that life of power and fame and marriages that are scrutinized every second. I suspect that many of the marriages we watch crumble on television are as real as reality television.

 
 

The other thing that I find amusing as I get older — pretty much all the women around my age (40) or younger (that aren’t obese) are hot. This is obviously not possible, so it must be something in my brain. And note that the window grows along with my age

I’m 40 too, and I can tell you that that phenomenon is not restricted to just you. Luckily, I have an overwhelming fear of being a creepy, leacherous old man, and manage to keep that under control (I hope). It is also becoming increasingly more difficult to discern age–all women under about 35 in appearance seem to be the same age as my 16 year old daughter. It can be a miserable existence at times.

 
 

Sorry, various. “porn addiction” can only be got from fucking unicorns.

The notion that masturbation is the same as shooting heroin and can be dealt with in the same manner is a very dangerous slippery slope. I will agree that people have lots of problems with sex and fantasy. But the problem is the actions, not the thoughts.

This is a very old human problem, and this psycho-pop notion that if you’re either cheating on your wife or sneaking into the basement to jerk off to porn can be cured using the same techniques as curing alcohol or substance abuse is nutso.

Watch out! The claim (as the convocation of pseudo-scientists that Sam Brownback brought to D.C. a couple years ago) is that “orgasm” releases DRUGS into your system, and, therefore, it’s a DRUG ADDICTION problem.

Worse, the bit that really bothers me (as in loony U. Texas Dr. Bob Jensen’s “Getting Off: Pornography and the End of Masculinity”) is that ultimately, you are only allowed to have masturbation fantasies that are approved by WOMEN.

Sorry, but that kind of genital fascism is creeping out now, and this is the time to nip it in the bud. If you’re jerking off to porn instead of fucking your wife, there’s a problem, but it ain’t just one party’s fault, and BOTH points of view need to be represented.

And sex is not an “addiction.” It’s the means by which we reproduce the species, and has a long and illustrious history. Twelve-step programs aren’t the answer. Counseling may be valuable, but this “addiction” paradigm is as dangerous as it is crazy.

Don’t even put up with it in conversation. Men will ALWAYS look to spread their seed. That’s how we’re hard wired. There are no perfect answers, but the notion that we are all going to be faithful and monogamous all the time with our Playboy bunny and her Prince Charming is sheerest bullshit.

You want an “oppressive, sexist fantasy”? Try looking at the ‘soul mate’ mythology and the cult of endless romance.

Get a grip.

And you know where I mean.

 
 

How the fuck do you people get anything done?

We count on our underlings – i.e., women – to do it all for us.

looks at unfinished paper

OOOH! What topic? I’m sure with all the massed brainpower here we can make it worse.

 
 

Agreed–although they may enter into these things with every intention of being faithful, and then fall away later.

Which is to say that we often let social pressure and cultural conformity guide these decisions, without taking a look at how we truly feel about being “tied down” (See what I do here, with the social stigmas and cultural pressure and the…?). I would suppose that men and women deal with that internal struggle differently. Some cheat, some get WAY too into things like World of Warcraft, some become insufferably passive aggressive, some quit taking care of themselves…etc…

 
 

it does make me wish that people could accept a more complicated notion of human relationships.

You want complicated? You should see Actor’s mother haggling over change, tax, and tips.

 
Trilateral Chairman
 

I wonder if this is an evolutionary trait or just me.

No, it’s happening to me too (I’m in my mid-30s). Fortunately, it’s counterbalanced by a general diminution in the *intensity* of my attraction to women. All of the women in the lab next to me are good-looking, in my current estimation, but I’m not smitten. It’s more like “Hey, she’s cute/hot,” and then back to business. This is a nice change.

It is also becoming increasingly more difficult to discern age–all women under about 35 in appearance seem to be the same age as my 16 year old daughter.

This is NOT a nice change, and it’s happening to me too. Since I have the same fear of being a creepy and lecherous old man, it’s led me to adopt a certain…formality?…when talking to women, because it’s really sort of jarring when I realize that my conversational partner (whom I found cute) is actually a full years my junior.

It’s even more jarring to realize that I’m old enough that an attractive woman CAN be twenty years my junior without me being a pedophile. How did I get so old?

 
 

How the fuck do you people get anything done?

Multitasking?

And the whole “men are dogs” argument bugs me, because it’s used by both men and women to excuse men’s behavior and/or paint men as irredeemable, untrustworthy assholes when it comes to sex.

Well, that wasn’t my intent. Obviously, you don’t have to act on every urge, and men who respect their partners can keep it in their pants, regardless of whatever attractions they feel. But it’s just as reductionist to pretend that men aren’t prone to those feelings.

I don’t know, maybe it’s just me. I blame my addiction to porn.

 
 

ZOMG The mustaches! They’re alien invaders!

For the last time, put on your freakin sunglasses!

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

looks at unfinished paper

OOOH! What topic? I’m sure with all the massed brainpower here we can make it worse.

Now, T&U, aren’t you pissed that the proprietors installed that anti-spam software? HA HA!

 
 

The notion that masturbation is the same as shooting heroin and can be dealt with in the same manner is a very dangerous slippery slope.

I dunno. I tend to stay away from hillsides when I’m whacking off.

 
 

As long as we’re Roto-Rootering the thinkbox, this just in from the “I’m not sure what the worst part of this is” department.

 
Oregon Beer Snob
 

The other thing that I find amusing as I get older — pretty much all the women around my age (40) or younger (that aren’t obese) are hot. This is obviously not possible, so it must be something in my brain. And note that the window grows along with my age

I’m 40 too, and I can tell you that that phenomenon is not restricted to just you.

I feel so validated, this has been a good session here at Sadly No’s April 1st Psychology Extravaganza and Porn Festival. Avoid the deep-fried twinkies booth, it’s not what you think.

Luckily, I have an overwhelming fear of being a creepy, leacherous old man, and manage to keep that under control (I hope). It is also becoming increasingly more difficult to discern age–all women under about 35 in appearance seem to be the same age as my 16 year old daughter. It can be a miserable existence at times.

I have your same fear of being the creepy lecherous old guy. I don’t have kids, so thankfully the whole “she could be my daughter” thing has never been an issue, but I can see how it would be.

 
 

For the last time, put on your freakin sunglasses!

The goggles, they do nothing.

 
 

Oh, and that asshat stooge of el Bushé, Mary Beth Buchanan, who specialized in this crap back during the Reign of Terror is now running for Congress in Pennsylvania.

At least I can find some measure of solace in the fact that she’s not running in my district.

 
 

Fortunately, it’s counterbalanced by a general diminution in the *intensity* of my attraction to women.

I have yet to experience this, but I’ve observed it. My second Broadway-musical-with-my-father comment today: we went to see “Chicago” when it first opened. There were a bunch of very good looking women on stage in semi-bondage outfits, dancing Fosse-style, which is to say, a cross between modern dance and stripping. One chorine was stunningly beautiful. During the intermission, I said to my father something like “Did you notice the woman on the left with long brown hair?” His response: “Yes. She’s quite limber.”

 
 

It’s more like “Hey, she’s cute/hot,” and then back to business. This is a nice change.

Weird. I’ve noticed this too since I turned 40. Lot’s of cute women out there but they just capture my glance for a minute and then on with my day.

 
 

Perhaps 40 is the onset of adulthood.

 
 

OT – Lesbo S&M nightclubs have consequences.

 
 

Yeah, the lecturer will be making chicken molecule poblano.

I was hoping for plasma soup

 
 

As long as we’re Roto-Rootering the thinkbox, this just in from the “I’m not sure what the worst part of this is” department.

That’s fine pile of FAIL.

 
 

I guarantee you, 99 out of 100 men, if they suddenly turned into Tiger Woods (and all that entails), would become sex addicts.

Feh. I don’t need to be half black, half Asian to do that. I just need a good woman.

And by “good” I mean baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad

 
 

The most savage take on porn I’ve ever read was written by someone who I’m pretty sure didn’t set out to crusade against porn: David Foster Wallace, in his essay “Big Red Son”.

 
 

Certainly my experience is that THEY DO NOT.

Funny, that’s what your mom said.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

OOOH! What topic? I’m sure with all the massed brainpower here we can make it worse.

Management and decision-making in academic libraries. It’s as dull as you can imagine. Once I’m done with it, I have three more to go!

Well, that wasn’t my intent. Obviously, you don’t have to act on every urge, and men who respect their partners can keep it in their pants, regardless of whatever attractions they feel. But it’s just as reductionist to pretend that men aren’t prone to those feelings.

I know, and I didn’t mean to come off all pissy. Sorry. It’s just that human sexuality is complicated, and statements like that seem to dismiss women’s sexuality in general, and women with high sex drives in particular.

 
 

he automatically sizes up the women he passes in terms of their sexual attractiveness

That’s simply not true.

I’ve found it to be more efficient to reject the real uggos out of hand.

 
 

It’s just that human sexuality is complicated, and statements like that seem to dismiss women’s sexuality in general, and women with high sex drives in particular.

I’m sure I speak for all the hetero men here when I say that none of us dismiss women with high sex drives.

Too soon?

 
 

looks at unfinished paper

OOOH! What topic?

I think she meant the wee-wee pad.

 
 

OT – Lesbo S&M nightclubs have consequences.

Although the Family Research Council can go ahead and step back and fuck it’s own face, I have to admit to childish glee when these Republican FUCKS get nailed acting all like human and stuff. It just makes their sanctimonious preaching about family values all the more awe-inspiringly hilarious. (Did I just make up a word there?)

 
 

You should see Actor’s mother haggling over change, tax, and tips.

She haggles?

Dammit, that bitch owes me coin!

 
 

Management and decision-making in academic libraries.

Fire anyone who understands the literature, since they’ll be inefficiently wasting their time reading. Make sure that your index database has typos in the tags/categories, otherwise people will find what they’re looking for and disturb your neat stacks. talk to your maintenance men to make sure that the HVAC systems emit a high-pitched whine.

See how easy that was?

 
 

Perhaps 40 is the onset of adulthood.

God, I hope not, I’m twelve years overdue.

 
Obama's Secret Police
 

If you want to have some fun, go to your friendly Army Navy Surplus, buy half a dozen helmets, paint them UN blue and stencil “UN” on either side, then scatter them along the roadside

snicker

 
 

It’s just that human sexuality is complicated, and statements like that seem to dismiss women’s sexuality in general, and women with high sex drives in particular.

I!

W? N?

 
 

I guarantee you, 99 out of 100 men, if they suddenly turned into Tiger Woods

I really think this is countered by the pretty large amount of rich folks who don’t go completely bananas. People still have affairs – which is ordinary behaviour – but even the billionaires can be startlingly dull.

 
Oregon Beer Snob
 

Man, that picture of Perkins at the TPM link absolutely screams “c’mere alter boy, I have a present for you in my pocket.”

[insert joke about the kind of ‘research’ that goes on in his family, here]

 
 

If you want to have some fun, go to your friendly Army Navy Surplus, buy half a dozen helmets, paint them UN blue and stencil “UN” on either side, then scatter them along the roadside

I am SO doing that. Don’t fucking think I’m joking. God, if this made the news…here in Spokane, WA we got lots of these Bircher tards. I’m so doing this.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

*sigh* I suppose that’s what I get for being serious about sex…

 
 

Perhaps 40 is the onset of adulthood.

God, I hope not, I’m twelve years overdue.

I figure by the time I’m 65 I’ll finally be a mature, responsible adult.

 
 

T&U, no offense taken, and I want to say that I’m very grateful to the women I’ve known in my life with high sex drives, or else I might still be a virgin.

 
 

I suppose that’s what I get for being serious about sex…

around immature men.

 
 

National Review Has “Symposium” On Black Unemployment, Apparently No Blacks Included
http://www.oliverwillis.com/2010/04/01/national-review-has-symposium-on-black-unemployment-apparently-no-blacks-included/

 
 

I knew a girl once who used ME. Yes, I know it must be hard to believe with all the bad PR I’ve been getting lately but it’s true. Women use me all the time. They think I’m going to lavishly throw money and gifts at them because…well, mostly because I told them I would when in reality I was just tryin’ to get mah dick wet. Know what I”m sayin’, Kiiiid?

But anyway, as I was saying, sometimes I’m too tired for sex and I walk into a nearby Dairy Queen (love the chicken basket), order and the next thing you know 20 people want their boobs signed. Now, I’m not saying I’m addicted to sex but on one of these occasions I banged the FUCK out of a mom, her sister and her sister’s daughter — all in under 2 hours! They even took a picture with my Wood. I signed it for them and wished them luck; they were having some marriage issues.

Look, what I’m getting at is sometimes, in the 21st century women have just as much power in the realm of sex as men. They say Yes or No — whether we listen is up for debate but it is their decision. They determine where and how often the dirty samba happens. And, they determine whether or not it becomes an affair or just a one night stand or marriage.

Word of advice for the ladies, if there are any, reading this: IF YOU HAVE AN AFFAIR WITH A GUY, DO NOT GO PUBLIC WITH IT. YOU AREN’T GOING TO MAKE ANY MONEY (well you may but it’ll be Slut Money).

 
Oregon Beer Snob
 

around immature men.

I’m only 40, what do you expect of me? Sheesh.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Fire anyone who understands the literature, since they’ll be inefficiently wasting their time reading. Make sure that your index database has typos in the tags/categories, otherwise people will find what they’re looking for and disturb your neat stacks. talk to your maintenance men to make sure that the HVAC systems emit a high-pitched whine.

Well, you know, qualified people cost a lot of money. Much easier to pay a communications student $8 an hour to help you out. Now, the databases usually aren’t librarians’ fault–that’s the fucking journal publishers’ problem. The HVAC thing is totally true, plus, they try to make florescent lights as unflattering and noisy as possible. I did learn that in Library School.

The worst thing about it is the academic literature in this field is, uh, not robust. It’s kind of embarrassing.

 
 

@ TruculentandUnreliable

This society is scared shitless of sex, which is why all conversations descend into cheap smartass jokes or bad double entendres.

Use a gun, maybe go to jail.

Use a penis, be marked and branded for the rest of your life, register as a sex offender, and have to pass out leaflets if you move into any neighborhood.

Only a crazy society would come up with that. Blow somebody’s head off while ripping off a store? How come we don’t make THOSE offenders register as human killers and pass out flyers?

The priorities give away the shrieking fear of sex. 15 will get you 30. Blowing somebody’s brains out? Not so much.

 
 

I suppose that’s what I get for being serious about sex…

I take my sex very seriously!

 
 

Perhaps 40 is the onset of adulthood.

I’m an adult?

FUCK.

 
 

I suppose that’s what I get for being serious about sex…

…around immature men.

Speak for yourself, Woody. I’m overripe.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Fire anyone who understands the literature, since they’ll be inefficiently wasting their time reading. Make sure that your index database has typos in the tags/categories, otherwise people will find what they’re looking for and disturb your neat stacks. talk to your maintenance men to make sure that the HVAC systems emit a high-pitched whine.

PROFIT!!!

 
 

I knew a girl once who used ME.

It’s not sporting to blame the wife for your affairs, Tige.

 
 

Blowing somebody’s brains out?

*suddenly recalling a girlfriend who, in fact, could do that*

 
Trilateral Chairman
 

Perhaps 40 is the onset of adulthood.

God, I hope not, I’m twelve years overdue.

I figure by the time I’m 65 I’ll finally be a mature, responsible adult.

I was feeling pretty good about my maturity level. Then I heard the news that Anna Paquin has come out as bisexual, and immediately a part of me went “AWESOME!”

So I figure I need to get a bit older yet.

 
 

Look what happens when you sleep till 2PM EST: You miss out on the lovely, talented, kinky, sexually experienced, overall amazing lover Kathryn Jean Lopez discussing Pr0n…

The woman really knows her way around both the male and female bodies. The shy act is just that — an act.

 
 

actor212 said,

Blowing somebody’s brains out?

*suddenly recalling a girlfriend who, in fact, could do that*

Anna Nicole Sith said (in the same quoted comment)

This society is scared shitless of sex, which is why all conversations descend into cheap smartass jokes or bad double entendres.

Game. Set. Match.

 
 

The priorities give away the shrieking fear of sex. 15 will get you 30. Blowing somebody’s brains out? Not so much.

Note also that you can only do one of those options with the state’s sanction.

Guess which?

 
 

It’s not sporting to blame the wife for your affairs, Tige.

First off, this is Tiger’s Wood. The one who’s *really* in charge. To be honest, there have been a couple of tournaments that Tiger had to go to the locker room just to wail on me for a little bit because there was this slamtastic blonde winkin’ and such at him and I almost made him ball her right there.

Anyway, “actor”, I’m not blaming Tig’s wife, I’m blaming the slores who –on occasion– literally threw themselves onto me, Tiger’s Wood.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

The priorities give away the shrieking fear of sex. 15 will get you 30. Blowing somebody’s brains out? Not so much.

Yeah, you’re probably not going to get me on your side for this one. I do think that we have fucked up attitudes toward sex in this society, and I also have a serious problem with registering sex offenders, especially without any regard for the crimes they committed. That said, I don’t think that sex crimes are treated seriously enough. This isn’t because I’m not comfortable with sex; in fact, I think it’s because I *am* that makes this an important issue for me.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I was feeling pretty good about my maturity level. Then I heard the news that Anna Paquin has come out as bisexual, and immediately a part of me went “AWESOME!”

Really? I didn’t see that one coming. (Heh, coming).

 
 

This society is scared shitless of sex, which is why all conversations descend into cheap smartass jokes or bad double entendres.

Game. Set. Match.

Right, cuz a COMEDY blog is where one can find serious discussion of sexual predilections…

This ain’t Dan Savage, baby. Get with the program.

 
 

That said, I don’t think that sex crimes are treated seriously enough. This isn’t because I’m not comfortable with sex; in fact, I think it’s because I *am* that makes this an important issue for me.

I assume you are not Catholic, T&U.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

The woman really knows her way around both the male and female bodies.

Dude. I just threw up in my mouth.

 
 

Anyway, “actor”, I’m not blaming Tig’s wife, I’m blaming the slores who –on occasion– literally threw themselves onto me, Tiger’s Wood.

No one told you to stand up and don’t give me the whole “it’s polite to stand when a woman enters” crap.

 
 

(Heh, coming).

Childish.

 
 

Jeez, if we can’t make smartass jokes or bad double entendres about sex, it kinda takes all the fun out of it. We’ll all end up as K-Lo, rooting out every instance of inappropriate discussion of the dirty, nasty perversion that is human sexual response.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I assume you are not Catholic, T&U.

No, I am not. Thank the baby Jesus. I have enough issues as it is.

 
 

I’m overripe.

What? Nobody touched that one?

I’ll give it a go:
I guess that explains all the fruit flies.

I’ll be lurking all week. Try the veal.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

I do think that we have fucked up attitudes toward sex in this society

Prurience and Puritanism are a weird mix.

No one told you to stand up and don’t give me the whole “it’s polite to stand when a woman enters” crap.

Poor bastard was called to the blackboard!

 
 

What? Nobody touched that one?

Yea. I was pretty surprised, too. I figure they were leaving it for B^4

I guess that explains all the fruit flies.

Let’s see the judges scores….7….7….8….10 (from the Russian judge)

 
 

No one told you to stand up and don’t give me the whole “it’s polite to stand when a woman enters” crap.

I have boundary issues. As in: “I wonder if she likes to be choked mid-coitus?” or “To do, or not to do..it in the butt, that is a great question” or “Gags — just for the gimp?”

 
 

Actor 212:

I go back to funny now.

Q: How many celebutards does it take to make a reality show?

A: People don’t want celebutards making reality. They want celebutard sex tapes.

 
 

I’m overripe.

What? Nobody touched that one?

Really like your peaches, wanna shake your tree.

 
 

I do think that we have fucked up attitudes toward sex in this society

Prurience and Puritanism are a weird mix.

It comes down to capitalism.

No, really. I’m serious. The puritanical attitude in this country would dominate if it wasn’t for the fact that there is this whole “porn=profit” meme in capitalism.

You can have one or the other, but you can’t really have both.

Note that this doesn’t mean you have a libertine society if you have porn. Europe is a far more religious continent than North America, but they’ve managed to balance sexuality and religion by understanding that they are not mutually exclusive. You can have both, because one is not the equivalent of the other.

You can enjoy the flesh because spiritually, you understand that sex is not about Jesus, it’s about creating and maintaining relationships with your lover(s).

In America, we don’t even want to try to come to grips (sorry) with that distinction.

 
 

The woman really knows her way around both the male and female bodies.

Dude. I just threw up in my mouth.

I knew Kat in high school before she went Galt and got all that ugly surgery. She said, “it’s for my career.”

Whatev. She stole my virginities but she didn’t have to steal my heart, too. Also.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Prurience and Puritanism are a weird mix.

Indeed. Which reminds me of the one mortifying “sex talk” I had with my father: “Some guys just want to get in your pants.” The only guys I was hanging out with were on my debate team, so he really didn’t have to worry.

 
 

ANS,

We can have both a serious discussion about sexuality AND the yucks. That’s what I love about this place. It stimulates my creativity.

See what I did there?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

The puritanical attitude in this country would dominate if it wasn’t for the fact that there is this whole “porn=profit” meme in capitalism.

I completely agree. Which is why I find it funny that liberals are blamed for all the sex on teevee. That’s on you, cons.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

She stole my virginities

All of them? Wow, I guess she was something…

 
 

Really like your peaches, wanna shake your tree.

Wingnut Bossman has that as the ringtone on his cellphone.

Not that line, but the song.

True.

 
 

..The only guys I was hanging out with were on my debate team, so he really didn’t have to worry

See? If we could just figure out a way to make “smart is sexy” at 17 instead of 40.

 
Zombie Frank Zappa
 

In a poll of 100 women, when asked the question “Would you have sex with Tiger Woods”, 99% reported “not again”.

 
 

I guess she was something…

She could lick the chrome off a bumper.

Not that I’d, you know, know.

 
Galactic Dustbin
 

Listening to this woman’s heartfelt story of her ex’s porn addiction, has made me swear off internet porn for life, then I saw this:

Then I heard the news that Anna Paquin has come out as bisexual,

damn you Sadly No!

 
 

Actor 212:

Sadly, I didn’t see what you did there. Not your fault, tho.

Too much personal happy-making has just now made me go blind.

Foolishly, I didn’t heed the warning signs when my palms started growing hair.

Woe is me. Alas, that I have fallen victim to such a wretched fate and will have to sell pencils on the street corner.

 
Trilateral Chairman
 

The puritanical attitude in this country would dominate if it wasn’t for the fact that there is this whole “porn=profit” meme in capitalism.

And HAS dominated, from time to time. I’m no expert on the history of this (Anna?) but my impression is that the Internet essentially acted against the puritan trend by making it much harder to regulate the distribution and content of porn.

Regardless of the cause, I do know that there’s been a general trend towards explicitness–the magazines I peeked at as an early teenager never showed anything like penetration or oral sex, but now you can find that stuff anywhere. It’s hard not to find it, sometimes (though Google’s filter is pretty good), but that’s a different problem.

 
 

Anna Paquin has come out as bisexual

Waste of a good set of lips.

 
 

I do know that there’s been a general trend towards explicit

That’s true in any media.

Oddly, it’s not the liberals to blame. The owners of those media are all conservatives out to make a buck.

 
 

See what I did there?

Mind you, this is not a proper post-sex comment.

 
 

Anna Paquin has come out as bisexual

Waste of a good set of lips.

Wait! What the hell am I saying!?!?!?!

 
 

Mind you, this is not a proper post-sex comment.

I usually just do the “I nailed ya” dance.

 
 

Europe is a far more religious continent than North America

You sure about that, actor? I thought the opposite was true.

 
 

I usually just do the “I nailed ya” dance.

When I was a carpenter, like Jesus, I did the same dance.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

If we could just figure out a way to make “smart is sexy” at 17 instead of 40.

A couple of guys who came back from college my senior year said, “You got hot!” I was like, dude, no. You got less dumb. And I stopped wearing glasses.

 
 

She stole my virginities

All of them? Wow, I guess she was something…

Every. Single. One.

I need a tissue.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

See what I did there?

Mind you, this is not a proper post-sex comment.

What about during sex? No? Shit, I need to come up with some better dirty talk, then…

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

The only guys I was hanging out with were on my debate team, so he really didn’t have to worry

Being master debaters, they were always too self-absorbed.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Every. Single. One.

I need a tissue.

For your nose, I hope.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

She stole my virginities

All of them? Wow, I guess she was something…

Every. Single. One.

She sure had you pegged.

 
 

Europe is a far more religious continent than North America

Let me expand on this: Europe is officially a far more religious continent than North America, with its stupid “separation of church and state” doctrine.

De facto, that’s probably changed as the EU has sort of forced religions and governments to decouple. But the de-religiosity of the EU is a fairly recent development.

My suspicion is, in America, religion is more enforceable as a social construct in communities, which makes it an obligation as opposed to a belief system. Yes, lots of Americans go to church and yes, the atheistic population of Europe is probably a lot higher as a percentage, but I think once you equivalize the two societies and factor out non-religious pressures influencing people’s identifications, Europe is probably more religious than America.

 
 

When I was a carpenter, like Jesus, I did the same dance.

I’ll just passover that, my son.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

She sure had you pegged

Well done.

 
 

TruculentandUnreliable said,
April 1, 2010 at 20:33
Dude. I just threw up in my mouth.

OMFG that just made me so hot…

Scuse me–gotta go the the bathroom…

 
 

De facto, that’s probably changed as the EU has sort of forced religions and governments to decouple. But the de-religiosity of the EU is a fairly recent development.

I think having lived through centuries of inter- and intra-religious warfare probably had a lot to do with it, too.

Probably Europeans overall are just as religious, if not moreso, than Americans, but prefer to keep it out of the public sphere as much as possible. My sense is that most Europeans don’t really care for mixing religion and politics, seeing as how that really didn’t work too well in the past.

 
 

My sense is that most Europeans don’t really care for mixing religion and politics, seeing as how that really didn’t work too well in the past.

This is central to my point.

 
 

I seem to have been kicked.

Which is funny, in a sexistential sense.

 
 

She sure had you pegged

On Tuesdays and Thursdays, yes.

 
 

Which is funny, in a sexistential sense.

I see horny people, all the time.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

http://www.nationmaster.com/graph/rel_chu_att-religion-church-attendance

We’re tied with Belgium?!!! Dirty liberals really *have* taken over this country!

 
 

http://www.nationmaster.com/graph/rel_chu_att-religion-church-attendance

I would have guessed Spain charted higher, and maybe France, but that’s pretty much the distribution I would have figured.

 
 

I see horny people, all the time.

I used to see horny people all the time. Now, though, I don’t see so well.

I should have paid heed when hair started growing on my palms, but I didn’t and now I bitterly regret all that self-pleasuring that landed me in my pitiable state.

 
 

Which is funny, in a sexistential sense.

I see horny people, all the time.

Actor, you win. Well done.

 
 

Utah

Utah it too? I thought I was the only one who saw horny people all the time.

 
 

I seem to have been kicked.

Which is funny, in a sexistential sense.

Just one of the mysteries of the orgone.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orgone

 
 

I think having lived through centuries of inter- and intra-religious warfare probably had a lot to do with it, too.

Probably Europeans overall are just as religious, if not moreso, than Americans, but prefer to keep it out of the public sphere as much as possible. My sense is that most Europeans don’t really care for mixing religion and politics, seeing as how that really didn’t work too well in the past.

I think you’re on to something here–I wonder if keeping your faith to yourself became so ingrained in the culture as a result of the days when a political shift might mean those who were found to share your religion were summarily massacred.

As Actor said, since we supposedly have religious freedom here, (meaning we’re free to be religious just like all of our neighbors, we’ve relaxed a little about running our fat mouths about it, or sticking bumper stickers on our cars that could only have been written by someone with a 3rd grade level education.

 
 

A different story here, as non-church attenders presumably identify with their religion anyway. France, for instance, appears to have far fewer atheists than the bible-thumping US.

http://www.nationmaster.com/graph/rel_rel_all-religion-religions-all

 
 

Utah tyou saw a puddy tat. But they didn’t call it a ‘cat’ exactly.

 
 

Utah tyou saw a puddy tat. But they didn’t call it a ‘cat’ exactly.

Nope. I was featured in the 42nd Street production of “Pussies”, where the big number was “Mammary”.

That was never covered by Streisand or Manilow, by the way. Well, maybe Streisand.

 
 

You want complicated? You should see Actor’s mother haggling over change, tax, and tips.

Once again the Foreskin Holocaust raises its head.

 
 

I understand they’re going to produce a sequel to The Vagina Monologues. It’ll be called The Vagina Dialogues, but it’ll mostly be pussy farts.

 
 

Once again the Foreskin Holocaust raises its head.

I see what you do here.

 
 

It’ll be called The Vagina Dialogues, but it’ll mostly be pussy farts.

Or dykes with mics.

 
 

That was never covered by Streisand or Manilow, by the way. Well, maybe Streisand.

I think you’re RIGHT. It’s coming to me. Yes. I seem to recall it started:

Mammaries
Like the corners of my behind
Misty watercolor mammaries
and the way we purr

 
 

Mammaries
Like the corners of my behind
Misty watercolor mammaries
and the way we purr

Well, wrong show, that was The Way We Purr.

This one was “Mammary, all alone in the shower/I can play with my kittie/Removable showerhead”

 
 

This one was “Mammary, all alone in the shower/I can play with my kittie/Removable showerhead”

Wasn’t the lead in that played by Farrah Faucet?

 
 

Wasn’t the lead in that played by Farrah Faucet?

Yes. She played “Grizzled Bella”. “Ol’ Toot-around-me” was played by Wesley Pipes.

 
 

shit–fywp

Let’s try that again:

BAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!!!!

 
 

This one was “Mammary, all alone in the shower/I can play with my kittie/Removable showerhead”

Wasn’t the lead in that played by Farrah Faucet?

With Anthony Perkins as Raging Granny.

 
 

EXPLODING BREASTS!

The Ultimate Gag Gift.

 
 

Real breasts are theft.

 
 

from tsam’s link:

“This is a really a bad distraction at a time when we have the Obama administration on the ropes and we are making great gains,” said Ken Blackwell, vice chairman of the RNC’s platform committee and former candidate for chairman.

Yup, they’ve got Obama right where they want him, what with health care reform being defeated and all.

 
 

Yes. She played “Grizzled Bella”. “Ol’ Toot-around-me” was played by Wesley Pipes.

The Rump Bump Tugger was played by Richard O’Steele, who later went into porn films, as I recall.

 
 

rest of comment eated…

Yup, they got Obama right where they want him, what with health care reform being defeated and all…

 
 

Question: Are you REALLY ready for the coming Zombieocalypse?

Really?

 
 

Oops, I meant tags not closed. User error. Going off to have lunch now…

 
 

Real breasts are theft.

That’s what I told her when she refused my offer to pay.

 
 

Sorry, I got the name slightly misspelled: It was Rump Bump Bugger.

 
 

Sorry, I got the name slightly misspelled: It was Rump Bump Bugger.

In a triumph of crssogender casting, Skimbleshanks was played by Mary Lou Retton.

As a sop, they changed the name to Limbershanks.

 
 

“This is a really a bad distraction at a time when we have the Obama administration on the ropes and we are making great gains,” SO desperately need another bullshit wedge issue, and yet seem to be taking them away from ourselves said Ken Blackwell, vice chairman of the RNC’s platform committee and former candidate for chairman

Parsed for Great Justice and Clarity.

 
 

Did I read that the Family Research Council had already urged followers not to contribute funding to the RNC because of the strip club?

This incident ought to solidify the impression in those folks’ minds that there truly is no difference between the two parties and that only the Teabaggers offer salvation.

Which we should encourage.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

BAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!!!!

Sometimes, I get the impression that Michael Steele is pulling off the greatest, most insidious ratfucking operation in the history of American politics.

 
 

hey sadlyno, tell me more about drill baby drill. sarah palin sure is an asshole for talking about drilling offshore. thank god obama is a progressive – the environment is saved!

or, for the 10,000th time, coyly snipe at some hapless conservative blogger who doesn’t even believe their own baloney, anyway.

 
 

the sad story of “anonymous” whose hubby literally follows the old “Reefer Madness” road to hell and perdition.
But this is all the same old pseudo-science of Comstock with a new “addiction” twist

The p0rn industry does squick me out to some extent, on a puritanical / philosophical level. I don’t like the way that the product is sold to meet a customer’s cravings, but in fact increases those desires rather than satisfy them (or so I am advised by friends).

This objection does not carry much weight, however, since it also applies to so many other products of the modern economy — cigarettes, plastic food, airport thrillers… You’d think that conservatives would be celebrating the p0rn industry as a success story of the consumer economy rather than complaining about it.

 
 

thank god obama is a progressive – the environment is saved!

IT IS!

Unless, you know, you live in a redneck coastal state…

 
 

Sometimes, I get the impression that Michael Steele is pulling off the greatest, most insidious ratfucking operation in the history of American politics.

Oh, dear lord. You mean the GOPpers are into fucking THEM too?!?

 
 

You’d think that conservatives would be celebrating the p0rn industry as a success story of the consumer economy rather than complaining about it.

It’s interesting that you raise tobacco as another industry that manipulates demand.

So does alcohol.

And yet, apart from a few extreme religious zealots, you never hear the right complain about the legality of using the only products that, when used as directed, stand a good chance of killing you.

I’ve never heard of someone jerking off to death.

And believe me, I’VE TRIED!

 
 

the paranoid fantasy that predator drones will home in on lapel pins distributed by the NWO is full of win.

Oh God, what if we make them FLAG PINS? If they wear them they’re toast, if they don’t they’re TRAITORS.

I’m overripe.

What? Nobody touched that one?

Who would want to touch that rotten thing, it’s probably slimy.

Too late?

And personally I think “porn addiction” is probably a load of crap, but as someone up above said it’s a load of crap that points to bigger issues (so to speak). A really big one(YES, I KNOW) is that many people don’t have very realistic ideas about love, marriage, commitment, etc, and don’t talk seriously about such things early enough in the relationship. Crap, what was the other thing… you people with your thread stamina…

 
 

drillbabydrill said,

[not worth repeating]

Er, this thread is about fucking, not drilling oil wells. You wanted the thread one over. First star on your right, and then straight on ’till morning.

The “drill baby drill” we’re talking about here doesn’t smell like dead fish.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

hey sadlyno, tell me more about drill baby drill.

It’s the best trap Obama could have laid for the GOP, they can’t oppose this policy in knee-jerk fashion, and the proposed drilling locations (Atlantic seaboard?) will be sure to cause any Mid-Atlantic Republicans to do a double-take.

Keep telling yourself that Obama is falling, emo-boy.

 
 

sarah palin sure is an asshole for talking about drilling offshore.

Fiqq’d.

And no, dumbshit, Obama is not a progressive. We couldn’t GET a progressive elected in this country thanks in part to dumb twunts like you.

 
 

Actually, I’m delighted to read this. If this is where the Republicans plan to rally, heaven help them. Porn is popular, porn is beloved, porn drives technology and it can only be pried from a lot of fans’ dead cold hairy hands. “We have a very informed electorate,” as Gore Vidal said back in the 1980s. “They may not know where El Salvador is, but they certainly know where there genitals are.”

 
 

Er, this thread is about fucking, not drilling oil wells.

Wasn’t the Huttaree thread about “drilling oil”, as it were?

 
 

Should have been “their” genitals, sorry.

 
 

Wasn’t the Huttaree thread about “drilling oil”, as it were?

It was full of goo, to be sure.

 
 

If we could just figure out a way to make “smart is sexy” at 17 instead of 40.

And, yet again, the topic is Willow Palin Rosenberg.

 
 

And it was pretty much the most boring erotica I’ve ever read.

and that, frankly, is saying something…..

 
 

Oh, I know, the anonymous woman being a shrink. As Kia pointed out at alicublog, this woman has NO empathy or even understanding for her husband, she acts like his feelings etc are important only insofar as they happen to her, and as someone said above, he’s been “addicted” to porn since a teen and she never suspected, she never saw it coming even though the guy’d MOVED TO THE FREAKING BASEMENT?!! Worst. Shrink. EVAR.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Fark.com got hold of this story.

The Farkers have some good points. Namely, who the fuck pays for porn?

 
 

Wasn’t the Huttaree thread about “drilling oil”, as it were?

Please. Don’t. I’m having nightmares about it, as it is.

 
 

his feelings etc are important only insofar as they happen to her

Which part of “conservative writer” was unclear?

 
 

We’re tied with Belgium?!!!

HOT!

 
 

It’s the best trap Obama could have laid for the GOP, they can’t oppose this policy in knee-jerk fashion, and the proposed drilling locations (Atlantic seaboard?) will be sure to cause any Mid-Atlantic Republicans to do a double-take.

I can’t wait until he announces that we’ve nuked Iran.

 
 

The “drill baby drill” we’re talking about here doesn’t smell like dead fish.

Well, actually….

 
 

For your nose, I hope.

She even took his nasal virginity?! Whoa.

 
 

Oh nasty! I kept waiting for the punchline of that Michelle Malkin fanfic piece (a la “I Fucked Ann Coulter in the Ass, Hard”), but it did not come, so to speak. And it was pretty much the most boring erotica I’ve ever read.

Actually I was somewhat surprised at the obsession with intercourse being wet and his focus on Michelle’s pleasure. I mean, it is Malkin fanfiction, but still. Maybe the kinky part was all the references to her “famous smile” or basically any reference to her mouth at all. Because every time I see her face l think “Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.”

 
 

IT IS!

Unless, you know, you live in a redneck coastal state…

Heh! What did those red state retards like to say during the Cold War? Oh yes, I remember. “Better dead than red”. How ironically appropriate.

 
 

Because every time I see her face l think “Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.”

Really?

I think of carp.

 
 

Really?

I think of carp.

Really?

I think of this:

I’m guh rawk ya wuld…

 
 

Oh nasty! I kept waiting for the punchline of that Michelle Malkin fanfic piece (a la “I Fucked Ann Coulter in the Ass, Hard”), but it did not come, so to speak. And it was pretty much the most boring erotica I’ve ever read.

I kept waiting for his hand to creep down, and down, and into those little lace panties, where he finds a lil sumthin taped under…

 
 

this woman has NO empathy or even understanding for her husband, she acts like his feelings etc are important only insofar as they happen to her

When your working day consists of pretending to have better insight into your clients’ issues and thought processes than they do, you have little pretense of better insight left over for your home life.
Naturally you put the blame for your husband’s unfaithfulness upon a non-existent social problem, to show that you view your own responses with that same objective, penetrating insight.

Unlke Arky upthread, I have no problem at all in believing that ‘Anonymous’ is real.

 
 

I’m guh rawk ya wuld…

Needs more cow valve.

 
 

Needs more cow valve.

After seeing that last night, the missus and I had to agree that even without the blow, Robin’s still got it.

 
 

I think of carp.

Fishing for a “koi” pun, aren’t you? I say NO.

When your working day consists of pretending to have better insight into your clients’ issues and thought processes than they do, you have little pretense of better insight left over for your home life.

I don’t think that’s a universal truth of psychology/psychiatry/wevs, but dang, she, the InstaMissus, that Santy person, Krauthammer, etc, make me think it might be a hemispheric truth. Might be fake, sure, but all too easy for it to be real.

 
 

Robin’s still got it

It blows me away, even tho it took him a moment to warm up, that he’s still as fast and funny as he is. The combination of age, health, and rehab would have knocked a lesser comic on his ass (hint hint, Andrew Dice Clay).

I’ve always wanted to sit down with him for ten minutes and just talk about whatever popped into his head.

 
 

o hai m bak

I aint gonna read through 286 fucking comments – especially since I see badgers – so forgive my not knowing what the fuck y’all are on about today.

I was wondering last night – it used to be, I thinkm, there were only pig valves. What did the Jews and Muslims think of that?

 
 

I think of carp.

Fishing for a “koi” pun, aren’t you? I say NO.

No, not at all. Everytime I see her face, I immediately think about carp.

Carp

Malkin

Separated at birth?

 
 

Separated at birth?

Or perhaps not…

 
 

*suddenly recalling a girlfriend who, in fact, could do that*

you mom doesnt count

 
 

I always thought hers were removable.

Those group dicks don’t just suck themselves, you know.

 
 

*suddenly recalling a girlfriend who, in fact, could do that*

you mom doesnt count

I said girlfriend, not wife.

 
 

“Topeka” is cute. Has anyone noticed the other April 1 thing?

Results 1 – 10 of about 246,000 for guinea worm. (at warp 8.77)
Results 1 – 10 of about 503,000 for monkfish. (79.45 jiffies)

 
 

Those grouper dicks don’t just suck themselves

There we go

 
 

I said girlfriend, not wife.

sorry…….

but the point still stands?

 
 

You know who ELSE’s skull had a moustache?

Ahem.

 
 

Results 1 – 18 of about 8,310,000 for jelly [definition]. (0.61 times the velocity of an unladen swallow)

 
Oregon Beer Snob
 

OT (is there a T anymore?): Dark Side Of The Moon arranged for the 8-bit Nintendo Entertainment System.

While I’m not sure if this is great or awful, as both a geek and Pink Floyd fan, I approve.

 
Dr. Seymour Pathology
 

The first time I diagnosed a behavior as caused by addiction, it felt good — I was giving someone a context for their problem, as well as a model of how to deal with it. Also an excuse, but that’s impossible to avoid. After a few more, though, I started diagnosing more and more things as being the results of addiction: antisocial behaviors, neuroses, phobias, you name it. I couldn’t get enough of it! Then it got to where if I didn’t diagnose something as an addiction before lunch, my day was basically crap.

 
Trilateral Chairman
 

Also, Gmail is undergoing a vowel outage at this time. “A,” “E,” “I,” “O,” and “U” are all down; they’re still checking on “Y”.

 
 

Meanwhile, from Wikipedia’s “Did You Know” today:

… that residents of Castleford, England, were incensed when their council tried to eliminate Tickle Cock?

I would THINK SO.

 
 

Dr. Seymour Pathology said,

April 1, 2010 at 23:32

Is it normal for me to love people I don’t know, doctor?

 
 

OT (is there a T anymore?)

Free your mind and the T will follow.

 
Bob "Confederate Yankee" Owens
 

Carp

Malkin

Separated at birth?

Ah thinks dat dey boat got purty moufs.

 
 

A mouth only a Confederate smoker of dick could love…

 
 

Somewhat on topic: Hutaree guy nicknamed “Pale Horse” makes video, hilarity ensues:

But Sickles, who in those videos identified himself as a member of the Ohio Militia, may also have a lighter side. The accused plotter looks to have starred in a deeply Not Safe For Work movie, filled with cursing, mock violence, pot jokes, and sound effects conveying flatulence. Sickles appears entirely naked but for a mask of President George W. Bush that obscures some, but not all, of his genitalia.

In the film, Sickles’s chubby, tattooed character finds himself attacked by an enormous creature which appears to be half man, half duck. “Scar my tattered body no more with your punishing dildo mallet,” Sickles exclaims at one particularly dramatic moment.

http://tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com/2010/04/scar_my_tattered_body_no_more_with_your_punishing.php?ref=fpblg

Somehow I can’t bring myself to watch the video, seeing as it contains images of the person pictured in the nude. I just had lunch, and am not ready to re-taste it.

 
 

“Scar my tattered body no more with your punishing dildo mallet,” Sickles exclaims at one particularly dramatic moment.

Who among us hasn’t b urst out with that very phrase in a moment of passion?

 
 

Nice balls, Felix.

 
 

“Scar my tattered body no more with your punishing dildo mallet,

Quitter.

 
 

OT (is there a T anymore?)

I want a shirt and I got the skills and gear, so I’m about to burn a screen and get it the fuck done.
Great phrase.

Always. Trust. The. Shorter.

Straight line across the front. Sans serif font.

What else is needed?

 
 

More movies need farttracks

 
Turbine Yukon Palin
 

I genuinely thought I’d read “she-males” in that line.

That doesn’t help matters at all.

BLOF BLURGH vomit noise, etc

 
 

More movies need farttracks

Adjust your pre-theatre diet.

 
 

Turbine Yukon Palin said,
April 2, 2010 at 0:33

Beautiful name, Turbine.

 
 

Is it normal for me to love people I don’t know, doctor?
Superficial, anonymous interactions across the WWW are DESTROYING TIGRIS’ RELATIONSHIP.

 
 

Superficial, anonymous interactions across the WWW are DESTROYING TIGRIS’ RELATIONSHIP.

All that fame, adulation and big bucks have gone to Tigris’ head.

 
 

esteev, if you were born to Sarah Palin, your name would be:
Timber Challenger Palin

 
 

Substance, yours would be: Tape Boise Palin

That has “president” written all over it.

 
Timber Challenger Palin
 

This has a nice ring to it. Do I have to file paper work to change my nym?

 
 

Call me Beretta Hockey Palin. Although, I like the one I get when I use the name that appears on my fake Kenyan birth certificate: Mustache Warthog Palin.

 
 

I’m Falter Locust Palin.

I dunno… just doesn’t have that je ne sa quois

 
 

Olivia Wilde in a skin-tight costume with glowing highlights

Meh, I finally get to see it and it’s not as exciting as I thought.

Needs more Cuddy.

 
 

Meh, I finally get to see it and it’s not as exciting as I thought.

If it was Olivia Hussey I might get a little excited:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/sesshoummaru/4273085493/

Yeah, I’m old.

 
 

I shit you not, my real name came back:

Chop Meth Palin

WTF?

 
 

Yes, there are NSFW pics of Ms. Hussey out there, but…whatever.

 
 

There’s Got To Be A Porning After

One twisted and melted vibrator is quietly hidden away.

 
Skunk Grunt Palin
 

I wuz robbed

 
 

If it was Olivia Hussey I might get a little excited

Why… um…

errr…

…pardon me, the boobies distracted me. What were we talking about again?

 
 

I would be Chin Trout Palin

No relation to Michelle Malkin

 
 

Superficial, anonymous interactions across the WWW are DESTROYING TIGRIS’ RELATIONSHIP.

OMG, I can’t stop, it’s like an addiction! STOP JUDGING ME!

All that fame, adulation and big bucks have gone to Tigris’ head.

Science demands we make sure by repeating the experiment.

 
 

National Review Has “Symposium” On Black Unemployment, Apparently No Blacks Included

And K-lo is talking about sex.

These things are very much alike.

 
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

If we could just figure out a way to make “smart is sexy” at 17 instead of 40.

And, yet again, the topic is Willow Palin Rosenberg.

Heh. I’ve thought smart was sexy ever since I understood what sexy meant, pretty much (and Willow is never far from my mind, especially when the trolls show up. I say “bored now!” when I press the little “kill” link.)

In other BTVSish OTitude, I just had a nice chat with a smart and hawt coworker who’s from the Carribbean zone and has an accent just like Kendra the Vampire Slayer. I want to see if I can get her to say “Mr. Pointy.”

 
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

I want to see if I can get her to say “Mr. Pointy.”

Though of course the trick is what do I want her to say it about.

 
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon
 

So, on the topic of porn and Republicans. The Republican National Convention is supposedly looking at Tampa, Florida for their location in ’12. Now, there’s a curious thing about the Tampa region that some folk might not know, and it is that we have a rather remarkable ratio of strip clubs, porn stores, and adult entertainment venues per square mile.

Now, I’m not saying that there’s going to be a massive influx of Republican sex scandals in the aftermath of the 2012 RNC, but don’t be surprised if they find at least one Republican political figure in two wetsuits, dildoes in multiple orifaces, and a blase stripper trying to feign interest.

 
 

Now, I’m not saying that there’s going to be a massive influx of Republican sex scandals in the aftermath of the 2012 RNC, but don’t be surprised if they find at least one Republican political figure in two wetsuits, dildoes in multiple orifaces, and a blase stripper trying to feign interest.

I am assuming this is why they are considering Tampa in the first place, no?

 
Ezra in the hizzy
 

I’m Taupe Armageddon Palin. YAY for that/

 
Ezra in the hizzy
 

btw, I’m using the reverse-lookup Palin babyname generator to find all of youse and check your countertops.

 
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

I am assuming this is why they are considering Tampa in the first place, no?

I’d bet this way. I’m sure their location scout knows what the people want.

 
 

Althouse pulls a “Leave Britney ALONE!” for the teabaggers.

http://althouse.blogspot.com/2010/04/propagating-notion-that-tea-partiers.html

 
Oregon Beer Snob
 

I’m short and bald (but incredibly fit and with a huge penis — one of those two is true)

Now that I’ve had a few post-work pints of IPA, I can admit it — I’m very distressed that nobody expressed an interest in my newsletter.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

especially when the trolls show up. I say “bored now!” when I press the little “kill” link.

I do that, too! Yay, BTVS nerds!

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I’m short and bald (but incredibly fit and with a huge penis — one of those two is true)

I have great interest in this. Do you have a website? Perhaps a newsletter?

 
Spengler Dampniche
 

“perhaps the gentle ministrations of Tubgirl can wash away the reeking fetid ooze that now roils around inside the howling vortex of torment where my soul used to be. ”

I find that to be a beautiful, lyrical sentence.

That said, you bitches need to chillax, because all men are literally dogs. It was in Discovery Magazine last week. That’s why dogs are man’s best friend.

 
Spengler Dampniche
 

No response from K-Lo, by the way.

 
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon
 

I do that, too! Yay, BTVS nerds!

I do that, and then stick knives into a chained-up David Boreanez doll.

 
 

Ann Althouse has apparently never seen a trail marked by stone cairns.

 
Trilateral Chairman
 

But Sickles, who in those videos identified himself as a member of the Ohio Militia, may also have a lighter side. The accused plotter looks to have starred in a deeply Not Safe For Work movie, filled with cursing, mock violence, pot jokes, and sound effects conveying flatulence. Sickles appears entirely naked but for a mask of President George W. Bush that obscures some, but not all, of his genitalia.

I watched it. Wow. A few points:

* The video has scenes that suggest *actual* teabagging, albeit quasi-inadvertently, which is almost too good to be true.

* I’m reminded of J. B. S. Haldane’s statement that “the Universe is not only queerer than we suppose, but queerer than we *can* suppose.”

 
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

I do that, and then stick knives into a chained-up David Boreanez doll.

Well, everybody does that.

Don’t they?

 
 

I want to see if I can get her to say “Mr. Pointy.”

Just take your hat off.

 
Oregon Beer Snob
 

I’m short and bald (but incredibly fit and with a huge penis — one of those two is true)

I have great interest in this. Do you have a website? Perhaps a newsletter?

I love you!

 
Trilateral Chairman
 

The video has scenes that suggest *actual* teabagging, albeit quasi-inadvertently, which is almost too good to be true.

I meant “too good” as in “too bad.” Just to be clear. If you watch the vid, you’ll know why I’m qualifying what I said. Yow.

 
 

The reason the TV commercials are so overwhelming in negative depiction of men is now hard to fathom. I’ve been working in the tech/entertainment field for decades. The “creative” departments in LA and New York City are predominantly gay. In some shops, you’d better not apply unless you’re gay.

The depiction of hetero men in the media is an ongoing war of revenge.

You know what, shoutingthomas, I like you. You’re not like the other people here in the trailer park.

 
 

Well, everybody does that.

Don’t they?

Anyone who ever made the mistake of watching Bones has probably considered sticking knives in the original.

 
 

you bitches need to chillax

i’m chillactic

 
 

So what does porn withdrawal look like? Surely those addicts in rehab are undergoing withdrawal from an addiction.

 
Lurking Canadian
 

I am assuming this is why they are considering Tampa in the first place, no?

I was living in Philadelphia when the RNC convention happened there (must have been 2000). Judging by the massive, one-shot increase in the density of stripper, escort and massage parlor ads in the free local paper that coincided exactly with the beginning of the convention, I assure you that Philly’s sex workers certainly thought that was the criterion they use to choose where to hold the convention.

 
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

Hm, this thread seems to have petered out.

 
 

Hm, this thread seems to have petered out.

Veiled Catholic sex scandal reference?

 
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

Veiled Catholic sex scandal reference?

Could be, but I meant it as a plain old peener ref.

 
Spengler Dampniche
 

Humorous picture from Cowalker. You win the all-caps Nym contest.

 
 

Technologist Repine the Purple Scabbardmaker
Flicker Shador the Unprincipled Large Hawk
Hitforgiveness Cimerajne the Stunted Psychologist
Wharton the Obnoxious Sommelier
Rugs-Presentations the Fuzzy Vily
Bernie-Melinda Canyons
Kasandra Glimpsed the Miller
Confronter Preside-Metaphysics
Reggie-Rebbeca Cloywnolchan the Rabbi Loew’s Golem
Syble-Fonda Swinger the Small Land Herbivore
Asia-Danilo Intrinsic the Father Wet Nurse
Heide-Isobel Gilbert the Naked Landlord
Rebecka Carries
Kool Chas the Delicious Pale Flenser
Natividad-Evelin Transmission-Stylishness
Rachel-Cleotilde Mommy the Exquisite Anteater
Blackberries Eccentricity the Death Goat
Qualifying Insights
Creamed Cable
Wib Mee the Clinical Steer
Defied Positives the Odorous Giant Red Ant
Jamel Pig-Shuttered
Foo
Quesheepskin Bimonthly
Tookvupl Indictment the Hotelier
Alene-Cher Plujeep
Waf Masonry
Evandor Faulty-Divisible the Mushy Sinewy Mugger
Zula Need the Incarnate Envy
Rabbi Kidopeklkleque Bibliophile-Bedtime the Pagan Nomadic Human
Preebo Challenges the Echinoderm
Volunteering Keli the Esoteric Oryx
Jaytte Klooyise the Rocky Needler
Ashli Tins the Mesmerist
Faytoney Droopy the Outrageous Domestic Worker
Staff Sergeant Headway-Avouch the Poignant Violist
Netouhouvplu the Dizzy Aardvark
Spoilage Feebly the Authoritarian Snail
Zut
Cuddly Pulses the Sorrowful Vicar
Eavesdroppersfee Illicit

 
 


Rabbi Kidopeklkleque Bibliophile-Bedtime the Pagan Nomadic Human

Easy for you to say.

 
 

Well, you know K-Lo will get hers in the end.

 
 

Oh you crazy dreamer.

 
 

Which end? I can think of five or six, although it makes me queasy to do so.

 
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

I can think of five or six, although it makes me queasy to do so.

To quote the post:

BHUU-AAARGHLPF [splattering] oh my god it’s GLAAA-UUUORP [splattering] all up in that FLAAA-ghnr-AAAAA-hkn-AAAAA-snkf-AAAAA-ALPHfspt [extended multidirectional splattering] ulp, cough, ah, heh.

 
 

Well, you know K-Lo will get hers in the end.

Which end? I can think of five or six, although it makes me queasy to do so.

Okay, I’m eating here. You are not helping.

 
 

Lan-Jeanmarie Jeneva’s Coconut Water Oatmeal

Ingredients:
1 cup barbarian, dried
2 pints ethereal coconut water, crushed
1 can string cheese
3 cups green mature adult brain, wakefully stuffed
5 sticks sugar
1 tablespoon unsweeted chocolate

Sacrifice a nearby pleco or a creature of similar size. Discard remains furtively. Cream the barbarian with a large mallet. Use a food processor to mix the string cheese with the coconut water. Slather resulting mixture over the barbarian. Toss – very persuasively – the green mature adult brain, sugar, and the unsweeted chocolate. Smush everything together. Curry as if your cork depends on it. Serves 13.

 
 

Wharton the Obnoxious Sommelier

Seriously thinking of adopting this one. Sure, there are funnier and weirder ones on the list, but Obnoxious Sommelier is something real, something I can aspire to. I can feel it in my bones.

 
 

Bernie-Melinda Canyons

It’s pronounced that way, but it’s spelled “Raymond Luxury Yacht”

 
 

Raymond Luxury Yacht

“No way no five-cent-tipper owns no yah-chit.”

 
 

Pornly Taitz:

I got a phone call from a producer who pitched an idea of a reality show, revolving around my campaign and juggling it with the rest of my work and life.

I get a lot of different offers. Some, like Penthouse magazine, is a “no” right away.

 
 

I get a lot of different offers. Some, like Penthouse magazine, is a “no” right away.

Her Oily Taters are not for sale.

 
 

So what does porn withdrawal look like?

Happens right before the “money shot”.

 
 

Some, like Penthouse magazine, is a “no” right away.

mikey will be bereft.

 
 

Kasandra Glimpsed the Miller

Sounds like a medieval porn tale.

 
 

An Orly Taitz reality show would be awesome! Maybe Sarah Palin could “interview” her.

 
 

An Orly Taitz reality show would be awesome! Maybe Sarah Palin could “interview” her.

A real Mensa mashup, that.

 
 

An Orly Taitz reality show would be awesome!

Except that Orly and reality just don’t seem to mix. What am I saying? Reality shows and reality don’t seem to mix either, so I suppose it would be ok.

 
 

Preebo Challenges the Echinoderm

Well crap, there goes that book idea.

Lan-Jeanmarie Jeneva’s Coconut Water Oatmeal

Coconut water oatmeal actually sounds pretty good, but my recipe for it would call for some oats.

 
 

Spoilage Feebly the Authoritarian Snail

Erk Erksome’s sekrit identity.

 
 

Well, you know K-Lo will get hers in the end.

I’m a 1st Amendment absolutist but isn’t that like shouting “Fire!” in a crowded theater? I mean, people could get trampled to death trying to escape.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Still on porn? Geez, even I can’t talk about it this much…

 
 

I KAN HAZ NEU TREAD PLZ?

 
 

I KAN HAZ NEU TREAD PLZ?

Not cute enough. Hang from a tree branch and try again.

Still on porn? Geez, even I can’t talk about it this much…

Not sexy enough. Hang from a tree branch and try again.

 
 

Still on porn? Geez, even I can’t talk about it this much…

Any discussion of K-Lo and sex is the anti-porn. It repels people away from porn.

Scars them, too. For life.

 
 

Scars them, too.

Ooooh. HOT.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

N__B said,
April 2, 2010 at 16:28

This made me laugh.

Today I’m working on “Librarians as Collaborators.” Why do I have the feeling I’ve basically written these same papers throughout my grad school career? Oh, because I have? Makes sense.

 
 

Today I’m working on “Librarians as Collaborators.”

Nazi-loving bastards with their “catalogs” and their “stacks” and the shushing of innocents.

 
 

Every time you don’t start a new thread Jesus kills a kitten.

Won’t you think of the kittens?

 
 

Won’t you think of the kittens?

Great, now you’ve made everyone hungry. Mmmm, catatouille…

 
 

Roast pussycat livers!

 
Barbara Gordon, FKA The Goddamn Batgirl, Used To Be A Librarian, And Crimefighting Wasn't The Only Thing She Wore A Sexy Costume For, Tell You What
 

Librarians are collaborators… in sin! Ask one about the banned book list sometime.

 
 

New thread or I start posting hutaree style porn links…

 
Xecky Gilchrist
 

Mmmm, catatouille…

I love catatouille with a tall cold glass of catatonic.

 
 

Barbara Gordon, FKA The Goddamn Batgirl, Used To Be A Librarian

I apologize for my response being only semi-porn but [drool] Yvonne Craig [/drool]…even when not painted green.

 
 

Barbara Gordon, FKA The Goddamn Batgirl, Used To Be A Librarian, And Crimefighting Wasn’t The Only Thing She Wore A Sexy Costume For, Tell You What

I am very interested, nay, intrigued if you will. Please post a link to your website and add me to your newsletter mailing list.

Sincerely,
Chop Meth Palin Wolverine Hockey Sled Bad-Motorscooter.

 
 

I read the most *EHRM* interesting Batgirl porn a while back… still have it archived somewhere for *EHRM EHRM* reference…

 
 

OT, if there is a T, but McMegan has up a rant that not only is about her wedding, but also about her Randian desire to privatize the Post Office.

It’s begging for snarky comments. I’ve done my part.

 
 

Jennifer – Meghan’s Randy Desires is on topic.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Librarians are collaborators… in sin!

And that’s why I want to be one, especially a high school librarian. My life’s mission is to corrupt as many youth as possible.

 
 

My life’s mission is to corrupt as many youth as possible.

Take them out of the refrigerator, leave them on the counter, and wait a few days. PHEW-EE.

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

McArdle should take her umpteen square wedding invites to a UPS Store and report back to us on how much they charge her to deliver them throughout this fair land.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

OT, if there is a T, but McMegan has up a rant that not only is about her wedding, but also about her Randian desire to privatize the Post Office.

OFFS. First off, I can bet you five dollars that if she had paid attention to the invitations’ description, she would have seen that it requires non-standard postage. Our invitations were square and we knew that we would have to pay a little more to ship them. So, we planned ahead and got the right stamps at the main branch. Additionally, I find it funny that people like her complain about how expensive and inefficient the post office is, but then expect every branch to offer every service. Finally, GET THE FUCK OVER YOURSELF. Jesus Christ.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

McArdle should take her umpteen square wedding invites to a UPS Store and report back to us on how much they charge her to deliver them throughout this fair land.

Yes. And if she has relatives living in rural areas (yeah, right), she should find out if they have to drive a half-hour to a distribution center between the hours of 8 am and 5 pm Monday-Thursday and 12-4 on Fridays to pick up her dumbass invitations.

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

True story: a few days ago, a friend of mine went to Dunkin’ Donuts for some donuts, and they were OUT OF DONUTS.

Just proves the private sector is inefficient, bloated, doesn’t work, etc.

 
 

a friend of mine went to Dunkin’ Donuts for some donuts, and they were OUT OF DONUTS.

Did they have bikini-clad John Galts suspended on small platforms over tubs of water for Dunkin’?

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

Also, the local KFC never has any grilled chicken, and the espresso machine at the bookstore coffee shop is always “down.”

UP AGAINST THE WALL, MOTHERFUCKERS

 
 

a tall cold glass of catatonic.

Good for what ails you, if what ails you is malaria-ridden mice.

McMegan has up a rant that not only is about her wedding, but also about her Randian desire to privatize the Post Office.

She admits there are a lot, and they’re non-standard, but a private business would totally have had been able to help her in a similar circumstance! I hope she similarly waits until the last minute to get fifty odd-sized bridesmaids clad and assumes her local dress shop will have enough dresses on hand so she can just waltz in and out.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

And, seriously, if this is the biggest problem this dumbshit encounters in planning her wedding, she should count her fucking lucky stars.

 
 

True story: a few days ago, a friend of mine went to Dunkin’ Donuts for some donuts, and they were OUT OF DONUTS.

Just proves the private sector is inefficient, bloated, doesn’t work, etc.

Another true story. Once upon a time, there was a guy who started a war and didn’t have the government staff to properly execute the mission. So he hired a private security company comprised largely of military and police washouts. This company thought it would be teh awesome to gun down a whole bunch of innocent civilians for their mastubatory kicks. So they did. Then they managed to evade any prosecution for it.

Bloated? Well, maybe the staff members
Inefficient? Reportedly, their massacre was precise, quick and extremely deadly–the very epitome of efficient.

 
 

OT, if there is a T,

There is sadly a shortage of T ever since these guys showed the world how to really throw a T party.

 
 

Bloated? Well, maybe the staff members

Oh, I’d say there’s a good possibility.

Wingnuts come in only two models – thin skinheady types or bloated Pigmanoids.

 
 

I went to Waffle House once, and they were out of waffles.

But seriously, this stupid bint is arguing that a private business would have to shut down if they ever ran out of any particular thing some people want to buy. I can’t count the number of times I’ve left a half-filled shopping cart in a store aisle and just walked out, after finding that they were out of at least 3 or 4 of the items on my 8 or 10 item shopping list.

Shit happens. Sometimes the grocery store doesn’t have shallots or mushrooms or whatever it is I want to buy – according to McMegan, that should be enough to put them out of business.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Shit happens. Sometimes the grocery store doesn’t have shallots or mushrooms or whatever it is I want to buy – according to McMegan, that should be enough to put them out of business.

In short, she is an entitled brat who wants what she wants when she wants it.

 
Wyatt Watts III
 

Meghan’s Randy Desires is on topic.

I’ll say it is! Add maybe an adjective or two and a couple of minor changes in punctuation (all changes from McArdle are in boldfont), and you have:

PRIVATE POST OFFICE

A Naughty Memoir

by Meghan McArdle

The post office lady is, it turns out, only allowed to put ten shall we say “envelopes” through shall we say “the machine” at once– and while our wedding is very, very intimate, it’s not that ahemsmall.

Fine, give me the stamps, I said breathlessly.

No, she said, purring coyly I don’t have the right stamps.

 
 

Pigmanoids.

HAHAHA!! That’s the funniest word I have heard in months!

 
 

In short, she is an entitled brat who wants what she wants when she wants it.

Well, so am I. Hence leaving the shopping carts half-filled in the store aisles. Except in my case I don’t use it as an excuse about how much more efficient the store would be if the government took it over; I just recognize it as “sucks to be me” at that particular moment. My thing is that it’s not worth it to me to stand in line to buy a few things when I know I’m gonna have to go somewhere else to buy all the things they were out of, and stand in line there as well. So I just leave and save myself the amount of time I would have to wait in line to checkout at store A.

 
 

But seriously, this stupid bint is arguing that a private business would have to shut down if they ever ran out of any particular thing some people want to buy. I can’t count the number of times I’ve left a half-filled shopping cart in a store aisle and just walked out, after finding that they were out of at least 3 or 4 of the items on my 8 or 10 item shopping list.

Two words: Black Friday.

Let the government try some shit like that

 
 

If AIG were a private company they would…

Oh. nevermind.

 
Heckuva job, whitey
 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Except in my case I don’t use it as an excuse about how much more efficient the store would be if the government took it over; I just recognize it as “sucks to be me” at that particular moment.

Well, exactly. “I what want I want when I want it” doesn’t make a particularly good political position, but libertarians try to make it so.

The Online Computer Library Center is the Hollerith Abteilung of liberal fascism.

Okay, you got me. I really want to be an “information professional” so I can help classify and catalog conservatives for the impending FEMA camp roundups.

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

Why does theatlantic.com require a cumbersome registration process to comment? Dammit, I don’t want to go through all that shit; I’m feeling snarky NOW.

If they were a private company they’d go out of business.

 
 

I think we’re all entitled brats when we’re shopping at a stores, at least to some degree. I’m fine with it until I’m standing in line behind someone who wants to argue about the price on a can of peas, get the manager involved, and act like the store is literally trying to drain their savings by not honoring what they perceive to be the correct price. In most cases, it turns out that the bitchy bitch bitching about the price is wrong.

 
 

Hey guys! I found some conservative porn!

Apache Gunship Footage

 
 

If they were a private company they’d go out of business

You MUST register just to post that comment with the backstory…

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

You MUST register just to post that comment with the backstory…

No way, man. You know who else made people register?

 
 

No way, man. You know who else made people register?

The DMV?

 
 

Sometimes the local pharmacy doesn’t have enough medicine to completely fill my prescription, so they ask if I can come back the next day. Gotdam socialist gummint.

 
Michelle Bachmann
 

You MUST register just to post that comment with the backstory…

I will not register! After all, “the Constitution doesn’t require any information beyond that.”

 
 

MOAR BRANES!

Shorter Douchehat: tBagg3rz are so not opportunists like this fuken guy.

 
 

GRRRR

MOAR BRANES!

I can haz html sklz?

 
Oregon Beer Snob
 

We were out of suitable breakfast items at home this morning, and I really want a cinnamon-raisin bagel with cream cheese, but I just have this feeling that the coffee shop across the street is out of them.

I think I’ll write a blog post about how awful that makes me feel, but I think I’ll change it to teh ebul POST OFFICE being out of TEH FREE PRIORITAY BOXEN like last time and GODSDAMMIT SOCIALESTIST FUCKERS! GALT! GLIB! AHRLHSLKHEGOABLARHG!!eleven!

I can haz wingnut welfarez now plz?

And new thread…

 
 

There is a new paranoia coming through the right wing airwaves… that the new health care reform bill madates that everyone gets RFID chips implanted in them within the next three years.

My more lunatic FB friends are starting to post about it…can’t link the main page they are forwarding, but it is essentially this same post: http://www.rr-bb.com/showthread.php?130988-RFID-chip-implants-and-National-Health-ID-in-H.-R.-4872-the-Reconciliation-Act-of-2010

These people really want to start a civil war. Assholes

 
 

There is a new paranoia coming through the right wing airwaves… that the new health care reform bill madates that everyone gets RFID chips implanted in them within the next three years.

You’re absolutely sure that they’re not celebrating getting Pringles chips permanently implanted?

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

You’re absolutely sure that they’re not celebrating getting Pringles chips permanently implanted?

A moment on the lips, forever on the hips

 
 

How dare people call this Socialism!? …It’s Fascism.

AP:

Massachusetts regulators issued their first batch of health care price controls on Thursday, rejecting the vast majority of small business health premium increases sought this year by the state’s major insurers.

Christ, yeah, ’cause that was what the Third Reich was all about – price controls.

*snerk*

Whotta moran.

 
 

Pigmanoids.

HAHAHA!! That’s the funniest word I have heard in months!

***runs away sobbing***

 
 

These people really want to start a civil war. Assholes

Wanting they got. Sufficient testicular fortitude they don’t got.

 
 

***runs trots away sobbing***

fiqqst for greater piggyness

 
 

Shorter Reich wing:

We’ll accept yer goddam “facts” when you pry our fantasy world from our cold, dead fingers!

Agreed.

 
 

Pigmanoids.

HAHAHA!! That’s the funniest word I have heard in months!

***runs away sobbing***

Awww, don’t go…You have to be a BIG pig and bipedal to be a pigmanoid.

 
 

Wanting they got. Sufficient testicular fortitude they don’t got.

Dickless wingnut blob sez (between slobbery lip smacking devastation of a bag of pork rinds):

Yer jes godam lucky I caint get up out this chair or id be bustin yer lip sunny. socalist like you is ruinin my fine cuntry.

 
 

We’ll accept yer goddam “facts” when you pry our fantasy world from our cold, dead fingers!

Special thanks to the MSM for egging the poor retarded kids on with dogwhistles and giving credibility to schizophrenic, dellusive wingnuts…

We should make some sort of trophy for them…

 
 

Isn’t this supposed to be a liberal echo chamber?

Hello?

Is there anybody….out there?

 
 

socalist like you is ruinin my fine cuntry

Isn’t that what…

*ahem*

nope nope not gonna go there… nuh-uh.
.
.
.
Oh, what the hell –

isn’t that what this thread was about to begin with?

 
 

I guess that is the good part about so many of them waiting for Jesus to kill us; they feel they don’t have to.

My question is: if this is what they want, why are they also so afraid of it? They should be out pushing for Marks of the Beast and building Temples in Jerusalem and finally getting Whores of Bablon for those of us who’d really like one. You know, trying to get this show on the road.

 
 

Hello?

Is there anybody….out there?

 
 

Oh, what the hell –

isn’t that what this thread was about to begin with?

All things inevitably come full circle, given time and a propensity for goofiness.

 
 

Massachusetts regulators issued their first batch of health care price controls on Thursday, rejecting the vast majority of small business health premium increases sought this year by the state’s major insurers.

From the Bahston Globe: “Making good on Governor Deval Patrick’s promise to reject health insurance rate increases deemed excessive[IN OHTER WORDS THIS IS A STATE ISSUE], the state Division of Insurance yesterday denied 235 of 274 increases proposed by insurers for plans covering individuals and small businesses…. Insurers proposed base rate increases averaging 8 percent to 32 percent for hundreds of separate products, offering different mixes of benefit designs, copays, and deductibles. ” They also quote a small businessman whose rates were scheduled to go up 18%.

 
 

We’re all too overfed to comment. Burp.

 
 

Special thanks to the MSM for egging the poor retarded kids on with dogwhistles and giving credibility to schizophrenic, dellusive wingnuts…

We should make some sort of trophy for them…

The Golden Punishing Dildo Mallet!

 
 

All things inevitably come full circle

All things sounds pretty flexible.

 
 

All things inevitably come full circle, given time and a propensity for goofiness.

Veiled 2-Wingnuts-1-Cup reference.

 
Oregon Beer Snob
 

The coffee shop had plenty of cinnamon raisin bagels, so the sociofascistislawhatsitarmegeddon is officially called off.

However, meetings will continue to be held at the same location and time, and the newsletter will continue to be published, until further notice.

And I probably shouldn’t mention it at risk of attracting them, but I’m a bit surprised at the lack of, uh, “ol trays” in this “ed thray” …

 
Oregon Beer Snob
 

Ah, never mind, I just had missed a couple of “them” up thread, carry on.

 
 

Insurers proposed base rate increases averaging 8 percent to 32 percent for hundreds of separate products, offering different mixes of benefit designs, copays, and deductibles.

Shorter Insurers:

“Hey! If we have a whole bunch of plans and add-ons, instead of one or two, we can claim ‘personalization’ while making this shit so fucking complicated that we win no matter what they choose! Yow!”

 
 

Special thanks to the MSM for egging the poor retarded kids on

I think you have your trophy already.

If that “violence” on the Tea Party bus on Saturday produced the ‘egging heard ’round the world’ how much more appropriate to ‘egg on’ the media.

Who ought to be the first “honoree”?

 
 

Who ought to be the first “honoree”?

I nominate this fucking piece of shit

 
 

I guess that is the good part about so many of them waiting for Jesus to kill us; they feel they don’t have to.

My question is: if this is what they want, why are they also so afraid of it? They should be out pushing for Marks of the Beast and building Temples in Jerusalem and finally getting Whores of Bablon for those of us who’d really like one. You know, trying to get this show on the road.

I’d suggest that it’s a combination of two things:

1) Nagging doubt that they’ll end up “left behind” because Jesus knows all about their wetsuit collection.

and

2) Fear that their loved ones will end up in Hell because they’re pagan Methodists or some shit like that rather than Real, True Fundamentalist Christians.

Bonus third thing because I’m a liar: fundies are also scared shitless of real persecution, with actual bloody, painful martyrdom and such, rather than American-style McPersecution where someone says “happy holidays” and they get to flip their shit and then sulk about it for months.

 
 

I nominate this fucking piece of shit

Don’t you think that a literal interpretation of “Bonfire of the Hannitys” would be more apt?

(Oh, wait. Liberulz are the cause of all the violence and extremism out there, so I guess I ought to withdraw my suggestion. On the other hand: FUCK him.)

How about this non-violent:”Fucking piece of shit” is entirely too kind a characterization.

 
 

I’d suggest that it’s a combination of two things:

1) Nagging doubt that they’ll end up “left behind” because Jesus knows all about their wetsuit collection.

and

2) Fear that their loved ones will end up in Hell because they’re pagan Methodists or some shit like that rather than Real, True Fundamentalist Christians.

Bonus third thing because I’m a liar: fundies are also scared shitless of real persecution, with actual bloody, painful martyrdom and such, rather than American-style McPersecution where someone says “happy holidays” and they get to flip their shit and then sulk about it for months.

Excellent summation. I would add that deep down, in a subconcious way, they know that reality doesn’t bear out their silly little supersititions. I think that might be why they make up shit like the War on Christmas. If they don’t defend their mysticism vigorously, thinking people will eventually crowd them into irrelevance.

 
 

How about this non-violent:”Fucking piece of shit” is entirely too kind a characterization.

Absolutely true. The bonfire thing occured to me yesterday, but I’ve never seen the movie so I didn’t know how that would be characterizing him.

He is such a fucking pile of teabagger leavings. Glorifying Timothy McVeigh, though, is probably the worst call to violent action I’ve seen to date. How does one not realize that Tim McVeigh and Osama Bin Laden are essentially the same violent murderers, draped in outwardly different “idiologies”? You glorify one, you glorify both.

 
 

sorry for the spell FAIL

 
 

If they don’t defend their mysticism vigorously, thinking people will eventually crowd them into irrelevance.

Seems like “thinking people” is becoming an endangered species.

 
 


they know that reality doesn’t bear out their silly little supersititions

that’s got my vote. I really think they know it’s crap, but they are so butthurt about having to pay some taxes, they have to bring god and armageddon into it. Not to mention, because they further know, deep down, that they are being completely wrong about not wanting to pay their reasonable dues of living in a civilization (that’s how I see taxes, and I bet the rest of you here do, too).

 
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon
 

I can’t count the number of times I’ve left a half-filled shopping cart in a store aisle and just walked out

Ugh, so you’re one of those people. Between the people who do that, and the ones who just leave deli meat scattered around the store (sometimes in the bread aisle, sometimes in produce, occasionally in the beer aisle), my life in grocery retail was… troublesome.

 
 

that’s got my vote. I really think they know it’s crap, but they are so butthurt about having to pay some taxes, they have to bring god and armageddon into it. Not to mention, because they further know, deep down, that they are being completely wrong about not wanting to pay their reasonable dues of living in a civilization (that’s how I see taxes, and I bet the rest of you here do, too).

They see taxes that way too, they just want somebody else to pay them.

 
 

and – ON-T (non-topic) – I need a new nym. What do you think about ‘Eccentricity the Death Goat’*? Does it make me look fat?

*thx to Substance McGravitas

 
 

Telegram for mingo….

I think it’s a perfectly awesome nym.

 
 

Excellent summation. I would add that deep down, in a subconcious way, they know that reality doesn’t bear out their silly little supersititions. I think that might be why they make up shit like the War on Christmas. If they don’t defend their mysticism vigorously, thinking people will eventually crowd them into irrelevance.

Good point. I have noticed that one of the rapture nuts in my family has gotten a lot more vocal about as he got older, so “desperate fear of mortality” is probably a big factor.

 
 

their reasonable dues of living in a civilization

Absolutely – it’s difficult to think of taxes as anything else.

These people are spoiled brats. Most folks that have an inkling of how bad “bad” can be are grateful, humble folks. These prissypants oldsters had a pretty sweet run, like being kids in America when it was the only industrialized country in the world (the others having been bombed ’til the rubble bounced in WWII), and hearing their tales of woe of being out a few bucks most assuredly does not tug at my heartstrings.

A week in Somalia might do these folks a world of good. Some of them might grok the teaching that civilization is a cooperative venture and is not to be taken for granted.

 
 


They see taxes that way too, they just want somebody else to pay them.

or – they think maybe a couple hundred bucks a year should do it – yeah, that’s the ticket. Then they are the first to complain about their local pothole not being filled.

 
 

or – they think maybe a couple hundred bucks a year should do it – yeah, that’s the ticket. Then they are the first to complain about their local pothole not being filled.

I KNOW! Is it not always those people screaming about lack of services and “government waste” and taxes being too high? I get angry with my television for not hiding our shame.

 
 


I KNOW! Is it not always those people screaming about lack of services and “government waste” and taxes being too high

yup. I had to dump the tv long ago.

must leave now – my computer’s broke, and I’m being kicked off the library one. *sob*

 
 

I thought Hannity got as odious as he could be last week, when Die Schlusselkampfwagen called out his bogus “charity”, but holy shit.

 
 

‘Eccentricity the Death Goat’*

Mickey Kaus will be VERY surprised.

 
 

must leave now – my computer’s broke, and I’m being kicked off the library one.

Noooooes! Liberries costs us them taxeses! We hatez taxeses. Liberries shud be paid for with magik beanzez that falls from skyz!

 
 

Noooooes! Liberries costs us them taxeses! We hatez taxeses. Liberries shud be paid for with magik beanzez that falls from skyz!

Ad teh fwee mahktz! Libarrys makes ppl st00pit tax sheep libtardsZ LOL

 
Oregon Beer Snob
 

OT (is there a T anymore?)

I want a shirt and I got the skills and gear, so I’m about to burn a screen and get it the fuck done.
Great phrase.

Always. Trust. The. Shorter.

Straight line across the front. Sans serif font.

What else is needed?

Needs mangoes. Perhaps a nice chutney?

 
 

I think the problem with the porn debate is that it’s polarized, as so many debates are.

Either porn is harmless and empowering, and people should STFU and stop being such shrill prudes; or porn is eeeeeevvuul and makes Baby Jesus weep, and should never be made or looked at by anyone, anywhere, ever.

There’s an in-between, as usual. There’s the dipshit who can’t look at softcore like Beautiful Agony without being hatefully judgmental of their partner’s O-face…and there’s the magnificent bastard who looks at hardcore bondage awesomeness with their partner and uses it to foster love.

The way I saw and had sex was different, before and after easy access to internet porn. Is this bad? Good? Impossible judgment calls. But I can’t be the only one.

We need to admit it can be an addiction, like anything. And that it can make lazy and selfish people distance themselves from real sexual skill and compassion. And it can also be a gorgeous benefit. It’s very likely it has to do with what kind of person they were in the first place, and what kind of partner they’ve roped. But people need to not sweep under the rug, the responsibility that comes with our awesome powers of access to visual puss.

People need to stop hiding behind religion AND “empowerment/sex-forwardness” to justify themselves. You can be a shithead in either camp. A waning in your attractedness to your partner might actually be because of…what did Spengler recently call current television, “yearning T.V.?” I have personally watched people’s sexual tastes, impatience, and indifference to women as humans change as they watch more porn. I’ve also seen people sexually blossom. It depends on the person, and their character. But risks need to be acknowledged along with benefits.

And for those who want to blame porn for their partners being distant–who cares what’s the reason? DTMFA, and find someone who treats you the way you like. Don’t fucking evangelize about how others get off, because you sound like a fucking fascist.

 
 

“And, seriously, if this is the biggest problem this dumbshit encounters in planning her wedding, she should count her fucking lucky stars.”

I can’t wait till we get to hear about the inevitable incompetence and general low-class-ness of every single person privileged to service the golden McArdle spawn. Bridezillas invariably = Momzillas.

 
 

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