I Got Your Nuts Right Here
Thomas Friedman, The New York Times:
A Tea Party Without Nuts
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
† Cf. Frank, Thomas, “Harsh Realm, Mr. Sulzberger” The Baffler (Winter-Spring, 1993) 12-13
‡ Mr. Friedman explains the broken political system in Washington:
My definition of broken is simple. It is a system in which Republicans will be voted out for doing the right thing (raising taxes when needed) and Democrats will be voted out for doing the right thing (cutting services when needed). When your political system punishes lawmakers for the doing the right things, it is broken.
Our definition of ‘broken’ is also simple. It is a system in which Republicans will be voted in for doing the wrong thing (subverting the principal rôle of representative government, viz. protecting the rights of citizens against lawless and unaccountable private power), and in which Democrats will be voted out for not doing the right thing (raising and deploying sufficient quantities of Hell).
Americans are often motivated to vote for the party that’s doing a thing, and fall easily into a fan relationship with winners who are out for the win, as opposed to losers who are being scored upon. The right figured this out sometime in the ’90s, and have since learned to either spin every outcome as a victory (the rational transaction that leads to headlines of the familiar category, ‘Democratic Landslide: Good For Republicans?’) or, often more usefully, to spin a non-win outcome as a shocking and brazen attack by sneering liberal malefactors who have trampled every rule of human decency under their muddy clogs right in the middle of your good carpet, forcing decent Americans to rise up heroically as one to protect the last precious shreds of the American freedoms that are being spit on and giggled at by traitor leftist miscreant bla, etc. wah-wah, accuse, threaten, preen. That is, they present failure as an incitement to victory, as a press opportunity for WWE trash talk and a chance to let issues drop and to broadcast the main message: The liberal evildoers at war with America remain on the loose.
That is, pace Friedman, when your political system rewards lawmakers for disrupting your political system, it is broken, bonked, borked, brokez0red, baked, Brookingsed, and in sum, we are through a glass, Blankley.
The. Radical. Center? Center?
OK, I got off the boat because, shame on you, Gav, there really is no shorter here and the mangoes were not only not juicy and sweet, they were pecans.
Teabagging without nuts! What would be the point?
Teabagging without nuts! What would be the point?
It takes balls to Teabag without nuts!
Thomas Friedman – 21st Century cob nobbler.
My definition of broken is simple. It is a system in which pundits will be hired by newspapers and TV networks for being partisan propagandists, and remain hired despite unbroken track records of falsified predictions.
the mangoes were not only not juicy and sweet, they were pecans.
Or at least pecan-esque in the sense of being brown and wrinkled, anyway.
OK, I got off the boat because, shame on you, Gav, there really is no shorter here and the mangoes were not only not juicy and sweet, they were pecans.
I’m never trusting you again. I got off the boat. Those were PEANUTS and I am ALLERGIC.
cob nobbler
If that stache were a little thicker, he could be a knob gobbler and we’d never know.
Those were PEANUTS and I am ALLERGIC.
Those weren’t peanuts and thank you!
Tom Friedman relies on experts:
My mean-spiritedness knows no bounds.
My definition of a broken system has somewhere within it the clause “It is a system in which hack pundits compose vapid missives from the comfort of their sprawling estates, and instead of being relegated to Blogspot obscurity, get published in the New York Times”
Those weren’t peanuts and thank you!
Well, now I’m DEFINITELY never trusting you again.
Well, now I’m DEFINITELY never trusting you again.
Have a peanut.
His lack of a button down shirt speaks truth to power.
Have a peanut.
Oh, thanks!
…
…
…
HEY! NOT COOL!
His lack of a button down shirt speaks truth to power.
Right? Such a radical…centrist!
Friedman: “… guaranteeing that every American is covered by health insurance, but with market reforms to really bring down costs.”
Because everybody knows liberals love high medical costs.
Is radical centrist a euphemism for stupid asshole? Was there a memo I missed?
Jesus I hate that man, but if he can achieve anything in the instant runoff or what have you voting reform arenas more power to him.
I’ve been waiting forEVA for the stache to lay out his Very Informed analysis on the word broken. Now I can sleep at night. Thanks Tom.
Interesting that he only gained this passion to “break the oligopoly of our two-party system” once the Dems gained control, though.
This one taxi driver told me broken was when you couldn’t get up off the floor to defend the carpet of democracy from muddy malefactoring sabots because you were drunk with power and revenge and being victimized and throat-rammed which is when things you don’t want are rammed down your throat and you just have to swallow it.
Yes he did.
It was in Bangalore.
Instant run-off could change everything. Or at least make it much more entertaining. Either would be ok by me.
But Friedman is a wanker. And needs a shave.
Is radical centrist a euphemism for stupid asshole? Was there a memo I missed?
No, I think “Conservative” is a euphemism for stupid asshole. Radical centrist is a euphemism for a sore loser fuckhead trying to act like he’s not being a sore loser fuckhead. This is damage control–once they start to see things equalize, even to the tiny extent that this HCR bill does just that, they will now try a different method of maintaining the status quo–like trying to slide the idea of centrism over to just short of being a raging caveman teabagger.
Man, Friedman is straight trippin’ these days. At least I know how to put some lipgloss on that pig and strap it in some Versace fuck-me heels and just pimp the ever lovin’ fuck out of it. How come this chump got the trillion dollar book deals while I’m languishing out here keepin’ it real? It’s like yeah, NAS had Illmatic but then the Jigga man come along and it’s like pure genius every time out. In this metaphor, Friedman is NAS and I’m the Jigga man.
Whenever I do the Chuckles Rose Comedy Hour the producers and makeup people are all like “Ooooh Ezra thank God it’s you. You’re so dreamy and Thomas Friedman was just on last night stinking of cheap Scotch and Drakkar Noir” and I’m like “Word. That’s coz I’m the future of Corporate Friendly Centrist Progressivism and that chump is from the Jurassic Age or whatevs.”
ike trying to slide the idea of centrism over to just short of being a raging caveman teabagger.
Well, hell, his idea of a “radical centrist” is basically Obama, so, like, I think we’re already there.
Or what Ezra said.
The radical center is “radical” in its desire for a radical departure from politics as usual. It advocates: raising taxes to close our budgetary shortfalls, but doing so with a spirit of equity and social justice; guaranteeing that every American is covered by health insurance, but with market reforms to really bring down costs; legally expanding immigration to attract more job-creators to America’s shores; increasing corporate tax credits for research and lowering corporate taxes if companies will move more manufacturing jobs back onshore; investing more in our public schools, while insisting on rising national education standards and greater accountability for teachers, principals and parents; massively investing in clean energy, including nuclear, while allowing more offshore drilling in the transition. You get the idea.
Erm… that all seems pretty, you know … liberal.
This guy seemed to really have his shit together when he wrote “From Beruit to Jerusalem”. Its a shame he lost his mind.
I suppose it could be that he is trying to redefine the center as being more liberal. That seems a charitable interpretation, I wonder if I can claim it on my tax return.
A Tea Party Without Nuts, by friedman unit
in six months we will be able to tell if this is possible
Did some quick edits, the significant one being the last line of this passage:
That’s much more to the point, I think.
Well, hell, his idea of a “radical centrist” is basically Obama, so, like, I think we’re already there.
Which is why us libz is all so goddam angry all da damn time! Word.
Critics: Finance reform bill fails consumers
Analysis: The bill headed to the full Senate will change very little for banks, Wall Street and financial firms
government by bucket of warm piss
His policy proposals define what would be the center-right of a sane country and is the center-left of our own country. In theory, he could arrive at his “rational center” by lopping off the extremists from both ends, but in practice we can exclude every single Republican member of Congress and still have a health care that further limits women’s reproductive rights and does not cover all Americans.
In other words, if he wants his “radical centrism” he should work to primary conservative Democrats and drive Republicans to extinction.
spin every outcome
gresham’s law as applied to politics
Boy, do high paid pundits love to jack off about fantasies of centrists and moderates rising up in a middle of the road revolutionary fervor to fix the problems what ail us, and it never ever happens, instead we get these jackass conservaDems and preening fake ‘deficit hawks’, because, you know what? Money fucking matters in politics.
Erm… that all seems pretty, you know … liberal.
I might buy into this a little if I had seen it before Sunday. At this point, however, I’m comparing this little lucid moment to a long chain of psychotic war cheerleading and thinking that Gavin’s most brilliant analysis is accurate.
Isn’t Condorcet mathematically superior to IRV? I read that once on the internets.
IRV is probably simpler, though. Lazy people could still vote as they did before, just picking a first choice and not bothering to rank the rest.
Still. Single payer health care, full recognition of same-sex marriage, and marijuana legalization will all happen in America before the either of the two major parties allow something that could threaten their power like this. For the moment, primaries seem to be working fairly well for lefties as a way of kicking out some of the worst assholes in the slightly-less-evil party.
Whenever I hear the words “instant runoff” it immediately conjures images of a downpour overflowing a hog waste holding pond.
Not that I have anything against the concept of instant runoff voting.
Now that that’s out of the way, Friedman is an idiot and will always be an idiot. The problem with our politics isn’t that the center isn’t being represented; with the current Dem majority what we have a center-right government.
The problem is that they’re all owned. And not by us. And that’s about to get a whole lot worse.
Friedman wouldn’t identify the corporate ownership of government as the issue of course, because he’s one of the owners, and that whole arrangement has worked out pretty well for him, as it has for all the media-celebrity types. So the problem must lie elsewhere.
Yeah, when he says “equity”, “social justice” and “market reforms to really bring down costs”, he probably isn’t thinking what I am thinking…
Tommyboy man though, srsly, sorry to hear about your wifey’s financial problems. G-Unit Vidal said once that hypergamist marriages are usually the happiest. That’s how come E$ is always on the lookout for a chick from an even more privileged background than my own. Hey McMeggerz, bag that face and gimme a call. Between us we can pull down every lucrative pundit sinecure, EVERY LAST ONE, in the known universe. The McSweeneysization of politics, 4 real.
Yeah, when he says “equity”, “social justice” and “market reforms to really bring down costs”, he probably isn’t thinking what I am thinking…
You were totally thinking tort reform, right?
Obama won the presidency by tapping the center
He won by tapping the center, but he’s governing by ramming his package down the rightard’s throats.
Friedman wouldn’t identify the corporate ownership of government as the issue of course, because he’s one of the owners, and that whole arrangement has worked out pretty well for him, as it has for all the media-celebrity types.
It is kind of amazing that “[w]hen your political system punishes lawmakers for the doing the right things, it is broken” doesn’t include that as a central cause of that brokenness and something in dire need of fixing. There’s none so blind as those who make out like bandits for refusing to see, I suppose.
Turtlenecks are the Jew of liberal fashion.
PEANUTS… err… PENIS!
Why would moderates rise up and revolt against anything?
They’re *moderate*. Right there in the name, folks.
I can’t remember the last time the rallying cry of “WE WANT THE STATUS QUO! WE WANT THE STATUS QUO!” attracted anyone outside of Washington or those political hacks who pop up every so often, hoping Michael Bloomberg will make a quixotic run for President so they can rake in the consulting dough unify the two parties. You cannot be radical and a centrist. It is a goddamned contradiction in terms, but I guess The Mustache of Wisdom has a compulsion to write about it at least once every two weeks.
Yeah, one side thinks that we should bribe the insurance companies not to dick us over, and the other side thinks giving government-paid health insurance to anyone was something Hitler did to the Jews. Or how about the conflict between the people who acknowledge global warming’s existence and others who think it’s a conspiracy by Al Gore and polar bears to Destroy The Biblical Truth About The Earth And American Civilization As We Know It? Where’s the “radical center” there, Tom?
TV Tropes has a term for this: the Golden Mean Fallacy
I’m done now.
Why would moderates rise up and revolt against anything?
They’re *moderate*. Right there in the name, folks.
Excuse please…
You were totally thinking tort reform, right?
Yeah… and flat taxes for “equality” and being able to sell prisoners to wealthy people as “social justice”.
Help! Moderate radicals are not threatening the status quo! The authorities aren’t sending out water cannons!
Moderate radicals are demanding that you turn your darn stereos down! Especially when driving after 8 pm!
Moderate radicals are mad as heck, and will not be taking it much more!
If I don’t make it out of here alive, tell my wife “Hello.”
God damn that sumbitch is stupid. Friedman must be there as a wingnut welfare legacy, because nobody would seriously read his drooling dipshittery.
Droll drooling douchebag dipshittery, at that.
A broken system is one where those consistently wrong on everything are lauded as champions and the truth-tellers who get it right against all odds and objections continue to be marginalized/ignored. That the MSM operates from the same template only amplifies the dysfunction.
i don’t douthat drooling duplicitous douchhat dipshittery dislodges a downpour of doubloons
Hey snarky liberals: Some people see the broken and do nothing, some people are in the broken and don’t know it but Tom is LIVIN’ the broken and if he could just figure out what it all means would have plenty smart stuff to say.
Moderate radicals are saying ” Put the potato peelings in with the plastics, mother lovers”
God damn that sumbitch is stupid. Friedman must be there as a wingnut welfare legacy, because nobody would seriously read his drooling dipshittery.
Someone doesn’t know their recent history very well. Friedman made his bones by writing facile, semi-coherent stories about the Middle East. From an early age, Friedman was able to combine an ability to bedazzle with bullshit, a slightly-better-than-half-assed knowledge of Middle Eastern history (although how he got through St. Antony’s is beyond me), and a seething Zionism that has always been cheerfully accepted in the American media. He was basically in the right place with the right credentials and the right skill set at the right time. He was able to write columns (and then books) about an Important, Scary region that upper middle class yahoos could take with them to skim on planes and while falling asleep on vacation.
It didn’t hurt that he married an incredibly well connected heiress to an enormous fortune.
He said the Right things to the Right people (things like “Yes, Charlie Rose, I’d love to do your show,” and “Yes, David Brooks, that tie looks very fetching on you”) and made the Right friends. If you are ever curious about how to win friends among the media elite, I suggest you read some of Bob Somerby’s old stuff–all you have to do is change a few proper names around. What worked for Russert in the 90s also worked for Friedman in the 80s.
Friedman was always hard to pin down, until his Moment of Clarity in the Bush years. I mean, it was always abundantly clear he was a dipshit (if you ever want a wonderful way to waste an afternoon read some of Taibbi’s takedowns of Friedman) but the wingnuttiness was somewhat in check until Friedman was already hyper-establishment friendly.
He’s basically a legacy of middle class pandering and rabid Zionism. From there, he was always able to latch onto the next big thing (the internet! globalization! GREEN!) and really sink his jaws into it just in time to be dragged along with the gravy train.
Moderate radicals are comtemplating the possibility of perhaps saying something snarky on the internet in response to a batshit teabagging dumbfuck. Tomorrow. Y’all better watch the hell out.
Tom is LIVIN’ the broken and if he could just figure out what it all means would have plenty smart stuff to say.
Livin’ la Vida broka?
Hm. I was just gonna say that his shirt is incredibly lame.
You have to be a real ass-hat to criticize the system based on the outcome, rather than the process. There is plenty of evidence that the system is broken: low voter participation, high dissatisfaction with both parties, little general understanding of the political process, increasing concentration of wealth, stratospheric incarceration rates, and lopsided service in the armed forces, for example. Those are all quantifiable measures of whether everyone is really getting a chance to say their piece, and there are probably better ones.
What Friedman does is like crying that the rules are unfair because his team isn’t winning. He has pulled a set of policies out of his ass that he deems “reasonable” and anyone who disagrees is an “extremist”. Whelp, dipshit, that’s democracy. You get your chance to argue your views same as everyone else – except you get a nationally syndicated column.
Obama won the presidency by tapping the center
Can’t exactly blame him. I’d tap that too.
Well you can fly first class and be an ass
I drive a Rolls Royce ’cause it’s good for my voice
But you may fool the children of the moderation
No you may fool the children of the moderation, no no no – yeah!
FYWP!
Moderate radicals are mad as heck, and will not be taking it much more
THAN IS REASONABLY CONVENIENT FOR ALL CONCERNED.
Fiqqst.
Radical Centrists vs Liberal Fascists vs Compassionate Conservatives in a Super-Colossal Three-Way Battle of the Hacktacular Nonexistent Political Entities!!!
Someone notices that Mark Noonan has tired of all the dang libruls makin’ up these threats against Congresspeople types when it’s really just all
ACORNunion thugs.There are such things as radical centrists and moderate extremists — there are quite a few movements and governments around the world which have killed in order to maintain centrist governments against, typically, leftist challenges.
Obama won the presidency by tapping the center
but he cheated by biting into it first to see if it was caramel or creamy nougat
Someone notices that Mark Noonan has tired of all the dang libruls makin’ up these threats against Congresspeople types when it’s really just all ACORN union thugs.
It’s true. Planned Parenthood also murdered Dr. Tiller just to make the papers.
Noonan: I call BS on all such stories. We know the stories of racial epithets at the Capitol on Sunday were false, and its my contention that all the more recent accusations are also false…. Furthermore, we know from experience – and Matt from personal experience with union thugs – that the violence comes from the left.
When righties DO commit violence, it’s fake or they’re insane or they’re REALLY TRULY lefties because SHUT UP.
Yeah! Sixteen tons of stupid packed into one little post – I’d forgotten how great Mark Noonan is. How come this place hardly ever links to him these days?
We’re on to your game, liberals, and we’re not having any of it.</em?
Awww shit. Who the fuck told him?
This guy is as sharp as a marble. Nothing gets by him. You hafta get up earlier than that to catch him out, by golly. I'm going shopping for another false flag.
fyfingers.
Hey has anyone else noticed that my alma mater, CORNELL, is rocking like a hurricane in that tournament thing with the hawt guys and the bouncy balls? This proves something or another about the culture. Wish I’d taken more philosophy classes now so I could have learned what Ayn Rand would say about all of this.
Shorter Friedman: I think we need radical centrism, which has two planks to its platform:
(1) The platform of the Democratic party of the USA, in toto
(2) Warp drive technology…er…sparkly unicorns who emit rainbows from their hindquarters…er, instant runoff voting.
Longer me: Did you notice there are two kinds of “right things to do”? Republicans raising taxes when needed, and Democrats cutting social programs when needed. My mathematically inclined brain insists that just one of these can, in theory, be sufficient.
I also note that cuts to the military budget are emphatically NOT listed among the set of possible right things to do.
Tommy has been running this con for way too long, the marks are starting to pile up, still willing to believe. That must be the ‘radical center’ he’s talking about. The Creaturette won’t let me run my ‘preacher hustle’, says it’s too much like Tommy and his ilk. Dammit.
Moderate radicals are saying ” Put the potato peelings in with the plastics, mother lovers”
Yeah yeah, once we’re finished with the potatoes.
Moderate radicals have a charge of 0.5!
But if they killed, they must be leftist. To suggest otherwise would be in violation of Noonan’s Axiom.
Yhe [hrase moderate radicals reminds me of a contest that the Glove and Mail (that’s a Canuckistani newspaper) was having to finish the sentence “As Canadian as…”
I don’t recall who won, but the entry that I liked best (next to entering your mom) was “As Canadian as possible under the given circumstances”.
If there’s a country that embodies the ideal of moderate radical any more than the True North Strong and Hockey, I don’t know what it is.
We have universal single payer health care.
Correction, it was the CBC. Also apologies for the bad tipynigs. SCUSE MAH FIN-GAHS!
Wish I’d taken more philosophy classes now so I could have learned what Ayn Rand would say about all of this.
I can tell you what Socrates would say: “BOING!”
Is he serious with that Title?
In other news, Pamela Geller is supporting a group whose members are alleged to have stabbed someone in the torso in a pub in Bolton.
http://atlasshrugs2000.typepad.com/atlas_shrugs/2010/03/uk-violence-erupts-fascists-uaf-and-muslims-descend-on-patriots-edl-and-police.html
http://www.theboltonnews.co.uk/news/5077173.Man_at_pub____stabbed_by_league_supporters___/
Excuse me, but “rôle?” We don’t use that faggoty circumflex BULLSHIT here. You can get away with your basic acutes, maybe the occasional umlaut for humorous mock-Norwegian effect, but I’m not having that circumflex here, you pretentious, turtleneck-wearing, pipe-smoking “oh just leaning my elbow on the fireplace mantle looking at this scuffed up album jacket of an original pressing of Sonny Rollins’ “Freedom Suite,” my impeccably parted hair gleaming under a blanket of ironic Brylcreem” peckerwood.
Oh, I know, let’s get back to basics and pansy up the whole language with crap like “encyclopædia” and “cause célèbre” and “gemütlichkeit,” while we’re going all socialest and free abortions for everybody and whatnot.
I don’t even give a shit about so-called Thomas Friedman and whatever he was on about. Not if we can’t all coöperate and write proper English.
See what I did there? That’s called fucking COMEDY.
Bravo, sir. Well-played indeed.
S.E. Cupp said,
March 25, 2010 at 2:06
Have you no shame, Madam? At long last, have you no shame?
In other news, Pamela Geller is supporting a group whose members are alleged to have stabbed someone in the torso in a pub in Bolton.
Hey, Pam, do you know who the UAF was founded to oppose? The FUCKING NATIONAL FRONT PARTY. You know, those people who are actually, like, FASCISTS? The EDL–you know, the guys you are defending–are THEIR FUCKING FOOTSOLDIERS. All I have to say is: a) go fuck yourself, b) stop talking shit about shit you know nothing about, and c) GO FUCK YOURSELF.
OMG I am so pissed. She is such a cuntscab.
Gaaaahbuggerfuckbollocks! I jumped right out of the boat and Friedman was waiting for me with a big hot cobwebby load of gelatinous manchowder, right in my face. What an asshole. The radical center! He’s so outside the box he’s like not even near the box, he’s in the next room with the jug, man.
Friedman’s genius is he’s the most intelligent stupid person in America. He’s right at the very tippy-top of stupid, almost normal, like a precocious 5-year-old. And because of that, he sounds off on stuff that the rest of us rightly mock as stoner talk, such as “dude, what if gravity went backwards? We’d fly into space, but so would the atmosphere, so we’d survive, and it would be like one vast prog rock video, right?” only what Friedman does is tie that back so some current events topic like “write three paragraphs on why it is difficult for politicians to make major policy changes,” and because he’s an adult man answering questions generally aimed at sixth graders in Social Studies class, he sounds extra-clever to people that aren’t much into deep thought. Like, apparently, the editors of the New York Times.
I fucken hate him.
They came to protest the encroaching oppressive sharia law and jihad
First they came to protest the encroaching oppressive sharia law and jihad, and I did not speak up, for I was not a…
Wait, what?
Spengler Dampniche–Dude, you’re on a roll tonight.
I almost forgot my anger at that twunt Pam Gellar. Almost.
This guy is as sharp as a marble.
You have to get up early in the afternoon to put one over Mark Noonan.
Mark my words, libs, Pam Geller will be found strangled someday, her throat stained with Cheetos powder. There will be evidence of an attempted rape that didn’t quite work out.
And on that day, one J. Goldberg will disappear.
Friedman’s genius is he’s the most intelligent stupid person in America. He’s right at the very tippy-top of stupid, almost normal, like a precocious 5-year-old.
Taibbi? Is that you? Weren’t you just kvetching about having a deadline the other day?
He’s right at the very tippy-top of stupid, almost normal, like a precocious 5-year-old.
I know of one precocious 5-year-old who writes much better stuff than teh Stache.
And you are on a roll tonight. Golf clap.
Truculent, I’m telling you, I’m a new man since I’ve been working out.
Check out my guns.
What about those, huh? All my T-shirt sleeves are totally stretched out. I’ve been on the gear, of course, AAS and A-bombs, human chorionic gongadrophin and the whole bit, and my lean mass is unstoppable. I’ve built slabs of rock-hard muscle onto a burly frame of sheer power. Vein definition is off the hook. Chiseled striations carved into every group — I’m telling you, I have unleashed monstrous explosions of dense, thick meat over every inch of my torso, legs, and arms. And you can, too. I’ll teach you how. Become a JUGGERNAUT OF MUSCLE!
I have unleashed monstrous explosions of dense, thick meat over every inch of my torso, legs, and arms. And you can, too. I’ll teach you how,/i>
That’s okay. I’m not really into bukkake.
TAG FAIL. I even saw it in the preview and couldn’t stop it because I’d already hit submit! Motherfuck.
No words for this other than Darlene Click at proteinwisdom is a horrible human being.
Tag fail is a nightmare. I even have the bbcode extra thing that does insta-tags, and I frig them up anyway. And that time I tried to make stars and left off the vital semicolon? Forget it.
That Darlene Click thing? NO MANGOES THERE. It’s a TRICK OF THE LIGHT. Goddamn, that is one hideous and extremely revealing cartoon.
No words for this other than Darlene Click at proteinwisdom is a horrible human being.
Hooooooooleeeeeeeeeeeee shit. I know y’all make fun of TRIGGER here, but goddamn, that needs a trigger warning. Seriously.
I should have noted that was via LGM
Apologies, Truculent. It is worse in its way than 2g1c, innit?
Okay, I’ve given it some more thought, and Jim Sterling has convinced me that I’m against Healthcare Reform. Because nobody should be consumed by a hypnotic bipedal cobra
Apologies, Truculent. It is worse in its way than 2g1c, innit?
Not your fault. As soon as I saw “proteinwisdom,” I knew I should have stayed in the boat. And yes, 2g1c was disgusting, but this was horrifying on the level of staring into Dick Cheney’s eyes. Ugh. Obviously, “Darleen Click” a) has never been a rape victim, and b) has NO SOUL.
The “ice dong” part was pretty cringeworthy, too.
That Darlene Click thing? NO MANGOES THERE. It’s a TRICK OF THE LIGHT. Goddamn, that is one hideous and extremely
revealingracist fucking cartoon.You know.
The “ice dong” part was pretty cringeworthy, too.
It was that. I think that man needs a visit from Junkpuncho the junk-punching alpaca.
Because nobody should be consumed by a hypnotic bipedal cobra
BEWBS.
I’m sorry, what?
Wait, were you just distracted by Nurse b00bies?
As a leftsist lib I’m inclined to the whole consensual privacy of your yadda yadda but teh Nurse? Eeeeeuuuuuwwwwww.
Junkpuncho the junk-punching alpaca…
LOL!
Oh, man. Just when you thought it was safe….Palin doubles down*:
Rumproast
*satire of course, but didn’t you need to take a minute to ask yourself if it’s really true?
Wait, were you just distracted by Nurse b00bies?
Shutup. I’m ashamed enough as it is. Beer goggles.
In other news, Pamela Geller is supporting a group whose members are alleged
Pam Geller supports actual literal Nazis. In other news, the sun rises in the east.
Might a radical center explain why there may be no Peak Wing-nut?
The point isn’t that she supports actual literal nazis. It’s that she supports actual literal Nazis who commit actual literal crimes of violence against other people.
YOU KNOW WHO ELSE SUPPORTED LITERAL NAZIS???
That fuckin’ Friedman is about to be busted for Theft of Intellectual Property. Many years ago he was watching the Superbowl at Tim Russert’s house and Tim was passed out. So Tom was going ‘um hum’ while Big Russ was yakking “I’ve been driving that fuckin’ truck down the same fuckin’ roads for twenty five fuckin’ years and its like the whole world is flatter than I fuckin’ remember it.” Ding dong hooper doo hooper dee badda bing badda boom and bob’s your uncle and Tommy’s writing shit about your television makes your world flat and your ass fat. He’s been pumping that teat for ten years now and no one’s come back for seconds.
YOU KNOW WHO ELSE SUPPORTED LITERAL NAZIS???
Leave D-KW’s mother out of it. I’m only willing to discuss figurative, metaphorical, mythical, and possibly similic nazis.
OT, I’m trying to get my landlord to rekraken my lease. No luck so far.
LAVRENTIY BERIA?
OT, but I think my wife just got drunk-dialed by her psychiatrist.
This is turning into a weird evening.
Click in effect writes “People already call us racists, so let’s stop trying to hide it.”
Charming, charming people.
Tom Friedman’s car is weaving all over the road and a highway patrolman pulls him over and says “Dude, what is your malfunction?” Friedman says “Don’t blame me! The mustache was drivin’!” The cop says “Why would you let a mustache drive a car?” Friedman says “I was busy looking six months down the road!”
TALL HIRED HOP, that’s who!
OT, but I think my wife just got drunk-dialed by her psychiatrist.
…hey babe…I wanna see you naked…no, not naked…just wearing your freudian slip…
Ho-lee-shit, I’m using that in my next book.
Ho-lee-shit, I’m using that in my next book.
Go ahead, it’s too odd for real life.
no, not naked…just wearing your freudian slip…
LOL! um, heh.
From the graphic atop this post, may we surmise that Steve Jobs grew a really ugly ‘stache before he went to MacWeird and introduced the iFail?
And, also, too. As if what followed weren’t enough of a clue that Friedman is in possession of a thoroughly pedestrian mind, there’s that title.
A Tea Party Without Nuts? Even your garden-variety moron knows you can’t teabag without nuts.
I tried to read Hot, Flat and Crowded.
I felt stupidly lost, for about five minutes. Then I realized that I really *was* reading gibberish.
I suppose it could be that he is trying to redefine the center as being more liberal. That seems a charitable interpretation, I wonder if I can claim it on my tax return.
According to my research, Tom Friedman’s charity toward the radical center left of tea baggery has no fair market value, thus no deductible value as an asset. I’m sorry, possibly you could apply some depreciation offset if you lump him in with your 8 track player, Sears Dacron Polyester turtlenecks and grandpa’s Naugahyde recliner.
Also Attention those on the East Coast!
I have received a request to announce that the East Coast Chapter of the Radical Center is having their first organizational meeting and rally at the First Congregational Church basement on Main Street next Wednesday at 6 pm sharp.
Dinner is potluck. Discussion will follow immediately after, please stay for the rally afterward where the youth group will put on a play: “Going green doesn’t have to mean going Red.”
“And on that day, one J. Goldberg will disappear.”
So, the Freemasons will have had him lobotomized?
… stabbed someone in the torso in a pub in Bolton.
In fairness, tho’, who hasn’t? On my last visit to the UK, they made me cock-punch some guy in a Midlands pub before they would even stamp my passport!
you have to peal and place before you can repeal and replace
All I’ve got to say about that is this.
“And on that day, one J. Goldberg will disappear.”
So, the Freemasons will have had him lobotomized?
How could you tell?
Friedman is so dumb he thinks AV frees people up to vote for “centrists”.
No, dummy, it lets you write:
1. Workers struggle
2. Communists
3. Socialists
4. Greens
5. Democrats (holds nose)
When your political system punishes lawmakers for the doing the right things, it is broken.
Li’l Tommy obviously needs to find himself a cab-driver or CEO who can tell him that political differences exist in part due to disagreement over what are “the right things”.
Out here in the real world, believing you are doing the right thing does not automatically mean it is the right thing. Someone who once told the sand people to “suck on this” deserves to have this lesson beaten into him.
Teabaggers without nuts? That seems about as likely as democrats with spines…
All I’ve got to say about that is this.
Please. Jerry Colonna had many talents. Friedman’s only talent is analingus.
Radical Centrists are going to dial it up to 6.5!!! or maybe even 7!!!!!!
and – *sigh*, T&U, Spengler, et al – I come here mostly to admire you all.
Radical Centrist, driving: the median’s being mean to me.
I tried to read Hot, Flat and Crowded.
Its a real dirge of a book. Its a good topic, but boy-oh-boy does it go on and on, incoherently about fuck all….
Radical Centrists need a nap.
Radical Centrists agree, Shep Smith is adorable.
The radical centrist revolution will not be televised. Until the 10 o’clock news, and even then only as a filler story.
Until the 10 o’clock news
It’s 10PM, do you know where your Radical Centrist is?
OT, but I think my wife just got drunk-dialed by her psychiatrist.
I think my gyno accidentally sent a booty text to me the other day. I hate it when that happens!
and – *sigh*, T&U, Spengler, et al – I come here mostly to admire you all.
*blush* Glad my time-wasting has given something back to the world.
*blush* Glad my time-wasting has given something back to the world.
Your angry, capital letters keep me going too, T&U.
Its a real dirge of a book.
Indeed.
And for old times’ sake, the original review that put Taibbi on the map.
o/t, but did anyone see this PoS.
stay classy, fuckheads…
Your angry, capital letters keep me going too, T&U.
Awwww….good to know. I am often told to calm down.
@lobbey: yes, there are a whole list of posts above that mention this. I’m ashamed to say I got out of the boat. I don’t know if it’s racist per se, but it’s definitely offensive.
o/t, but did anyone see this PoS.
stay classy, fuckheads…
Yup.
Ugh, why’d I get out of the boat? Now my sneakers are all wet, will probably shirnk (Tommy knows what I’m talkin’ bout) and I may have been bitten by a carp.
It’s not *radical*, Tommy, it’s *rational*. I know I get those words confused, like, all the time. Oh, and Tommy, put on a tie your giving look like a radical centrists.
put on a tie your giving look like a radical centrists.
See what happens when stop sniffin glue?
I *meant* “Put on a tie your starting to look like a radical centrist.”
Blarg
I don’t know if it’s racist per se, but it’s definitely offensive.
I think it’s racist, but it’s funny (not ha ha) that the first thing that struck me (and struck me HARD) is the very blatant depiction of a rape scene. I’m used to people using the term “rape” metaphorically (which is offensive), but not quite that explicitly.
Then again, what do you expect from a website where threatening to cockslap someone repeatedly is supposed to be the height of hilarity?
Yup.
T&U, is that link NSFW?
T&U, is that link NSFW?
It directly goes to Lawyers, Guns, & Money, so it’s fine. I would say the cartoon itself is SFW, though there is some Statue of Liberty side-boob.
Yeah, that’s what I said. STATUE OF LIBERTY SIDE-BOOB.
From Ted’s Link:
This is a brilliant piece of writing.
Oh, the LG&M link is updated and includes the cartoon itself. So you don’t even have to go to that piece of shit’s website if you don’t want to.
Someone needs to link Ann Althouse to Godlstein and James Lileks and remind her that’s who she’ll be in three years…
Thanks! You *are* Reliable!
Don’t miss this comment in the Lawyers, Guns, and Money thread.
James Walcott on the cartoon.
Someone needs to link Ann Althouse to Godlstein and James Lileks and remind her that’s who she’ll be in three years
As much as I hate Ann Althouse, I think it’s unfair to compare her to Goldstein even in the most superficial way. Yes, she may one day labor in obscurity, but I don’t think she’ll ever be the repulsive piece of shit he is.
Speaking of which, this made me cackle with glee.
Thank you for the heads up, Truckulent.
Thanks also for the link to Taibbi’s review of Friedman. “…emboldened stupidity.”
I was always flabbergasted at the amount of deference that crappy book received.
Yeah, that’s what I said. STATUE OF LIBERTY SIDE-BOOB.
Mmmm. Verdigris hotness….
Don’t miss this comment in the Lawyers, Guns, and Money thread.
D’oh! I’m slow. But it bears re-posting, because it is schadenfreudaly delicious!
Friedman needs to watch “Patterns of Force“, over and over again, preferably under some sort of Ludovico-Treatment-type conditions, until he gets that the nuts in the Tea Party aren’t a bug, they’re a feature. And he doesn’t get to pause the DVD on that scene where Kirk and Spock get their shirts torn off and are flogged.
D’oh! I’m slow.
Nah, check the time stamp. Stereo!
Well, then, someone owes me a Coke!
I think my gyno accidentally sent a booty text to me the other day.
Yea. Accident…
*shifting uncomfortably in chair*
From the better late than never file.
Hot, Flat and Crowded – Friedman wrote a book about his mom?
Hot, Flat and Crowded – Friedman wrote a book about his mom?
Yours was “Pirate’s Dream – Sunken Chest”
I tried to read Hot, Flat and Crowded.
I felt stupidly lost, for about five minutes. Then I realized that I really *was* reading gibberish.
In a past life I occasionally used to go to conferences attended by a lot of IT execs, and you would not BELIEVE how well thought of that book was.
“It’s my tea party and I’ll cry if I want to! You would cry too if someone ate all the nuts!”