Goddammit, Brad, now we can’t make fun of Kristol View Persuasion in the last thread without looking like we’re late to the party.

Bill Kristol.
~

Donald Graham and “Pinch” Sulzberger, also.
~

The simple fact you say you are means you aren’t.

HAHA

Sadly, you’re asking the wrong question: it’s not “Who deserves to die?” but “How many of these human scum can we allow to continue living?”

Immediate & painful death should be the default condition. People should have to provide a reason their existence should continue. Good luck w/ that, most of you!

This asshole who lives in shiny surfaces and will NOT stop copying me.

Only in reverse. Scary sicko ain’t he?

Why do they call them ‘side-door’ panels when cars don’t have front doors?

Sadly, you’re asking the wrong question: it’s not “Who deserves to die?” but “How many of these human scum can we allow to continue living?”

Yeah, I can’t even being to narrow it down. Maybe we should start with Rush since he has the largest following?

Oh, and speaking of, have y’all seen this: Rep. John Lewis (D-G.A.), a hero of the civil rights movement, was called a ‘ni–er.’ And Rep. Barney Frank (D-Mass.) was called a “faggot,” as protestors shouted at him with deliberately lisp-y screams.

Looks like the mainstream DC journalists are finally getting it, too.

I vote for the Legacy of Saint Ronald of California. Can a concept be put to death? PLEASE?!

Dubya.

Maybe we should start with Rush since he has the largest following?

The shitheels would float another stoolie to the top.

Shouldn’t the be all about Brad’s Big Fat Secret Wedding?
~

I vote for the Legacy of Saint Ronald of California. Can a concept be put to death? PLEASE?!

How about we trick righties into funding stem cell research, reanimation, reverse zombification, etc, for the purpose of bringing Reagan back to life then WHOOSH! TO THE DEATH PANEL!

I vote for the Legacy of Saint Ronald of California. Can a concept be put to death? PLEASE?!

How about we trick righties into funding stem cell research, reanimation, reverse zombification, etc, for the purpose of bringing Reagan back to life then WHOOSH! TO THE DEATH PANEL!

Surely we can get George Soros to fund the invention of a time machine that would allow us to, ya know, “death panel” Reagan the first time around.

How about Saint Ronnie’s Blessed Frock, which was never removed when within the sacred crypt of the holy Oval Office, also, too?

I just talked the neighbor. Friendly guy, smart, a lawyer but right-wing as fuck. Worked on the McCain campaign and gave “Songbird” Mac the legal max. Luckily he is far outweighed on this block by liberals so he get lots of friendly jibs at the annual block party.

Anywho, he acknowledged it’s going to pass on Sunday (somebody bookmark Doofus’ prediction), but added it will go to the SCOTUS right away and be overturned.

That should be good. Since SCOTUS has already made countless rulings surrounding the commerce clause, it’ll be another chance for John “I’m not lying when I say I respect precedent, and I’m not just saying this to get confirmed!” Roberts to do it again.

Ooh, ooh, pick ME Brad! As long as it’s death by chocolate. Or snoo-snoo. And if it’s both, you can put it on YouTube….

People should have to provide a reason their existence should continue. Good luck w/ that, most of you!

Without me, my clothing would collapse in a pile on the floor. My continued existence is necessary to prevent untidiness.

Surely we can get George Soros to fund the invention of a time machine that would allow us to, ya know, “death panel” Reagan the first time around.

It was already tried, but Hinckley missed.

Oh come on, that’s easy: anybody who has ever uttered the phrase “death panel” in earnest.

People should have to provide a reason their existence should continue. Good luck w/ that, most of you!

Without me, my clothing would collapse in a pile on the floor. My continued existence is necessary to prevent untidiness.

I make some mean hummus. I think that’s reason enough.

Whatever randomly-selected infant Mom is having play me in public. Seriously, WTF? Aren’t I like three now?

It was already tried, but Hinckley missed.

To quote my dear mother: “I cheered. The only thing that upset me was that he missed.”

Surely we can get George Soros to fund the invention of a time machine that would allow us to, ya know, “death panel” Reagan the first time around.

My hope was to use the “we’ll research to bring Ronnie back!” to get righties to support government-funded stem cell research(abort one for the Gipper!) and perhaps even health care reform, but perhaps the two-pronged(veiled possum PENIS reference?) approach would be better.

My hope was to use the “we’ll research to bring Ronnie back!” to get righties to support government-funded stem cell research(abort one for the Gipper!) and perhaps even health care reform, but perhaps the two-pronged(veiled possum PENIS reference?) approach would be better.

Makes sense. But time machines are cool, so there’s that.

I just realized that my mom was 7 years younger than me when Reagan was shot. For some reason, that’s kind of a mindfuck.

It was already tried, but Hinckley missed.

To quote my dear mother: “I cheered. The only thing that upset me was that he missed.”

That’s funny, because my sainted grandmother’s response was “The motherfucker needed more target practice.”

I just realized that my mom was 7 years younger than me when Reagan was shot. For some reason, that’s kind of a mindfuck.

I’d say – my mom was 36 years older than me her whole life.

(sorry couldn’t resist)

(plus I should say my ma was 36 years older than me for her whole life after I was born.)

People should have to provide a reason their existence should continue. Good luck w/ that, most of you!

I AM A SPECIAL SNOWFLAKE.

That’s funny, because my sainted grandmother’s response was “The motherfucker needed more target practice.”

That’s fucking awesome.

I think my mom prefaced it with “This is not very Christian, but…” or “This isn’t nice, but…” I think I was about 8 or 9 when she said it, and I just shrugged. Even then I realized what a huge fucking asshole that motherfucker was.

My younger brother, on the other hand, thought that Daddy George was the shit. He even dressed up like him.

Oh, and speaking of, have y’all seen this:

All on one sign held by a teabagger, I see:
– “I didn’t vote for the socialist”
– a terrible pun about “change”
– an illustration of a donkey shitting out the head of Barack Obama with a Hitler moustache

I’m so confused. And I’m pretty sure I’m not drunk enough to be imagining that last one.

That’s fucking awesome.

I should have added that “target practice” was the only portion of that sentence that she said in English.

I just realized that my mom was 7 years younger than me when Reagan was shot. For some reason, that’s kind of a mindfuck.

I’d say – my mom was 36 years older than me her whole life.

As I said, time machines kick ass.

But really, it is weird to me that she had three kids, one of whom was 8, by the time she was my age.

it is weird to me that she had three kids, one of whom was 8

Yeah, giving birth to an 8-year-old is strange.

Damn, forgot to nym-jack Xecky.

I vote for the Legacy of Saint Ronald of California. Can a concept be put to death? PLEASE?!

I don’t see why not, since we seem to be at war with one.

@N__B

Damn, forgot to nym-jack Xecky.

_ew_

People should have to provide a reason their existence should continue. Good luck w/ that, most of you!

I exist to aggravate N__B, which is such an important job that I was raised from the dead to continue doing so.

Troofie, of course. All we have to do is wait for him to show up to fight Actor in New York, then grab him. Death by package-shoving.

*sigh* Fine, pedants. I’ll just go back to the homework I was avoiding.

Don’t worry, T&U. N__B does that to everybody.

He has to fall off buildings for a living, which would make anybody lash out at others.

OK, T&U can live, if she shares her “mean hummus.” (And if it’s mean.)

As to letting zombies & initials live, merely to thwart untidiness, or to aggravate the untidiness thwarter, since I’m in a good mood & really didn’t expect to become the default decider (But of course have known for yrs. that all must pass in judgement before me.) as long as your mutual aggravation continues to amuse me, you may live.

I’m beginning to think the toughest choice is not “live/die,” but “die/sterilize & allow to continue laboring for the glory of the state.” That is a tough call!

death is too easy for some people i have in mind

can i get on the “grill rather bulky loudmouthed right wing radio clowns slowly on a griddle like st lawrence until the fat is rendered out of them and made into perfumed french soap for poor people in trailer homes to use” panel?

Just for shits and grins, I’ll say “Atrios”.

But only if the death panel uses a guillotine.

Are forced homo abortions part of the bill as well? If so, can I get in on it? I need a career change.

Don’t hate man, don’t hate. It’s like I told Brooksy and Chuckles Rose the other night over drinks at The French Laundry, we’re all in this together. The important thing is, we live in a country where anybody can be born into a hyper-privileged family and still manage to succeed as a highly paid, respected pundit using nothing more than their brains, family connections, and willingness to ram their tongue warm, wet, and willingly up the ass of whomever happens to be handing out cash and column space.

We live in a beautiful world and I love each and every one of you beautiful people, even the ones who are totally fucking fucked. Anyway I’ve got shit to do (trying out some new vegan recipes, listening to the new secret album Karen O recorded just for super-special people like me, gotta crank out a few more “Go Team Rahmbo” columns) but remember, the E$ Booty Patrol Tour is coming to a town near you, assuming a town near you has a world class hotel and somebody handing out some truly fucking mindblowingly staggering speaking fees.

Shalom!

Here is how it will go down, libs.

First, your beloved leader will pick Temple over Cornell. When that game ends you’ll think “Okay so a 12 beat a 5, weird but not the end of the world.” Then the Villanova result comes in and the nervousness will start to creep in. I saw your precious leader’s longform bracket on ESPN and I know he picked Villanova (or, as he wrote, simply “Nova”, think about it) to advance.

Now, just look at the Old Dominion/Baylor score. Look at your leader’s bracket. You may as well go to bed, libs. Tomorrow you wake up in a new world.

Here is how it will go down, libs.
Present for the Truth Troll next time he’s reminded of his predictive acumen.

I think it’s not that hard to come up with a list of people who should face the DPs. Someone else can decide who, I want to decide how.

Wot, no Antonin Scalia? Might have the most long-term beneficial impact.

Time machines: bad idea

I think it’s not that hard to come up with a list of people who should face the DPs. Someone else can decide who, I want to decide how.

Veiled, uh, DP reference.

Also, it didn’t take long for the “the LEFT totally faked the racism to make us look bad” meme to crop up. I am currently avoiding homework by arguing with this chick who says: “you focus overly much on the Huff Post, CNN, NBC, etc. The one Tea Party I’ve been to was not at all bigoted or whatever. And I have loads of friends who go who are not, either. Which leaves me wondering who those few weirdos are who show up. And I wouldn’t put it past some on the left to stage something like that.”

It’s on my friends Facebook page, and she’s only friends with her because of their common interest in vintage clothes. Our theory is that she likes vintage clothes because she wants to dress up like an Ayn Rand character.

Veiled, uh, DP reference.

Death Panels (note to self–Spell things out)

Obviously, I need to watch more porn.

My bad.

Obviously, I need to watch more porn.

My bad.

That’s cool. That sentence just had all sorts of very graphic implications, some of which I may or may not have played out in my mind. *ahem*

I call Dr. Pepper “DP,” but that’s because I have a dirty mind.

“DP” could also mean “Doughy Pantload” which would be the most obscene connotation of all.

BTW, what dirty thing does “DP” stand for? I thought I knew all of this stuff; apparently I’m not up on my acronyms.

BTW, what dirty thing does “DP” stand for? I thought I knew all of this stuff; apparently I’m not up on my acronyms.

Double penetration. Which is exactly what it sounds like. Also, Director of Photography!

OK, now that that’s all cleared up, I’d like to get back to the topic I declare to be at hand, i.e.: How does one er, execute, the task of the Death Panel once a nominee has been selected?

Random objects appear in my mind’s eye. Bowling balls, wood chippers, vats of bubbling tar.

I’m just spitballing here.

Think people!

If the death panel is not funded by George Soros, I don’t want any part of it.

Double penetration

You mean like, stabbing a guy twice? Cool.

“You mean like, stabbing a guy twice? Cool.”

Yup…”stabbing.”

Of course, the Canadian experience is that death panels, as a government run program are horribly inefficient and the waiting list to be put to death is very long.

Alberta has been experimenting with privatizing its death panels which is having some success.

Et tu, Brutus? Et tu, Cassius?

Random objects appear in my mind’s eye. Bowling balls, wood chippers, vats of bubbling tar.

I think the method of execution should be adapted to the person who is being executed.

Rush Limbaugh would have to overdose on Viagra and/or exercise himself to death; Bill Kristol could be dosed with radiation like the children of Iraq; Glenn Beck could be read the Book of Mormon until his brain explodes(?).

I mean, death panel committee member is a typical cushy government job. They have a union even, and dragged our system to a halt when they went on strike a couple years back. Numerous old people are still waiting to be put to death from that backlog.

Bill O’Reilly could be rubbed with a falafel until all his skin debrades.

Save the DP for Pat Robertson – he should be buggered to death.

Christopher Buckley could be shitcanned from the family business and forced to endure 19 martini lunches with Christopher Hitchens and Martin Amis. Oh, that’s an accurate description of his life as it now stands.

How does one er, execute, the

first, all loudmouthed right wing commentatoes are sent to gitmo and held without trial because hey! it’s just like being in miami beach and you even get gourmet chicken dishes for dinner n stuff

secondly, they are all waterboarded because it’s not so bad and sean hannity even volunteered to try it so shut up

then something happens to them next but it’s a secret and if you ask what happened to them it’s gonna be ‘why do you hate america?’ buster so don’t get me started

then we wait and see who objects to hannity, limbaugh, and beck suddenly disappearing off the face of the earth and we use the patriot act to read their email, tap their cellulite phones, access their private business records without warrant or notice, etc.

then they get the same treatment as above, and so on ad infinitum

but i don’t know why you are objecting to your friends these terror suspects being disappeared to gitmo because it’s just like being in miami beach and you want to give civil rights to terrorists? and why do you hate america so shut up

tap their cellulite phones

Holy crap, I’ve been paying for a phone all this time and I have one already built in?

Numerous old people are still waiting to be put to death from that backlog. I heard Yucca Mountain was repurposed for elderly storage to hold said backlog.

Bill O’Reilly could be rubbed with a falafel until all his skin debrades.
Then dropped into a tank full of sharks.

Numerous old people are still waiting to be put to death from that backlog. I heard Yucca Mountain was repurposed for elderly storage to hold said backlog.

That puts a whole new spin on the “aliens” in the trunk in the original Repo Man.

What are we, ANIMALS? Torturing our political enemies? We’ll use ativan and potassium chloride for our conservatives like a civilized people.

Holy crap, I’ve been paying for a phone all this time and I have one already built in?

i also have a smell phone so i can call the dogs

What are we, ANIMALS? Torturing our political enemies?

Animals don’t torture…they just play their food. Here kitty…and then the double penetration!

Hm, we still need some sort of ironic dethmethod for the loudest anti-immigrant dickweeds like Loud Obbs.

Maybe something involving taco pushcarts. I got my dinner at one in Salt Lake City’s Sugarhouse neighborhood – the cart was labeled TACOS DON MARTIN though the proprietor neither oonted nor groonted the entire time I interacted with him. The preparation of my meal sounded very strange, though, like

Shklikt! Thlup! FwappidafwappidafwappidaBAP!

Hm, we still need some sort of ironic dethmethod for the loudest anti-immigrant dickweeds like Loud Obbs.

They seem pretty obsessed with foreign entities penetrating their space…

Hm, we still need some sort of ironic dethmethod for the loudest anti-immigrant dickweeds like Loud Obbs.

Stuffed fulla candy and whacked at as a pinata?

Xecky –

Were his 1st and 5th toes pointed skywards?

Were his 1st and 5th toes pointed skywards?

Now that you mention it, yes. And his hair stuck straight out in two long puffy cones.

All the teabaggers currently on medicare. First.

All the teabaggers not on medicare. Second.

All the teabaggers

Death by multiply-resistant staph, or is that one reserved for young-earth creationists?

1: Crimes of Teh St00pid

Circle 1-The Very Serious People
Circle 2-The Employees of Fox News/Limbaugh Show/NRO/AEI/Thinker/etc
Circle 3- Right-wing bloggers
Circle 4- Ranroids/Paultards
Circle 5- Fundies

2: Crimes of Teh Angry

Circle 6- Teatards
Circle 7- Neocons

3: Crimes of Teh Evil

Circle 8: Politicians
Circle 9: Banksters

Sadly, I am at present time too bored to think up suitable punishments. Besides, I’m sure that you fellows, far more intimately familiar with the ways of POOP and PENIS and DP and DKW’s Mom than I, can do a better job of that.

abandon all brains ye who enter here

That puts a whole new spin on the “aliens” in the trunk in the original Repo Man

There is still only one Repo Man. That new abomination, is called Repo Men and bears no relation to the classic film of the 80s. In fact I plan to protest outside the theater for the cheap trick of using a name so close to the 7th greatest film of all time. I will be the only protester. The only sad, lonesome, inexplicable protester yelling angrily at a line full of people born years after the film whose honor I’m ostensibly defending came out and who have never, in fact, heard of said film. But the life of a feckless slacker is always intense.

to think up suitable

every single wingnut in the universe wakes up tomorrow as a desperately poor, pregnant teenaged black woman

That new abomination, is called Repo Men and bears no relation to the classic film of the 80s.

Wait. There’s a re-make/sequel to Repo Man?????

Um… can’t we just shove a giant package down their throats? It’s not like they haven’t been expecting it for a year and a half now.

“Most deserving?”

C’mon, that’s a tough call–I can’t narrow it down much beyond “everyone who has ever contributed to Clownhall.” If I had to pick one wingnut, though, it would be Orson Scott “Proposition h8” Card–what better choice for a DP than a virulent homophobe?

Random objects

Who is this Random, and do what does he object?

Also, the thread seems empty without the usual concern trolling.

Wait. There’s a re-make/sequel to Repo Man?????

No. Just two suspiciously similarly named films. The new film, RepoMen, seems to be a Randroid wet dream about a future in which people can buy organs if they need a transplant but so then, if they can’t make their payments, these badass blacksuited repomen come and repo the organs. I hear the working title was Moral Hazard Enforcers but didn’t test well.

Randall Terry should be crushed under one of these, by being forced to carry the big punanny all by his lonesome:

In the morning, children carry a small vagina to the Ogata shrine. Later, some 40 grown men strain under the weight of a massive vagina while carrying it to the shrine in the main parade. They’re followed by two smaller vagina litters.

I saw that movie once, except it was actually just a scene in a larger movie, called Liver Donors, Inc.

Howdily ho, looney libs! I can’t tell you how ecstatic I am that Fucking Kansas got fucking beat. Those hilarious basketball players, weeping their little baby eyes out that the Best Team In Murka is done, out, gone, beat down, losers like the losers they ever were, WEEPING on the court, well, it just makes me smile with mountains of schadenfreude. Yes, I am rejoicing in the anguish of others, but they’re from Kansas so it’s okay. Next best thing to seeing Virginia Foxx pushed feetfirst into a meat grinder.

a Randroid wet dream about a future in which people can buy organs if they need a transplant but so then, if they can’t make their payments, these badass blacksuited repomen come and repo the organs.

Oddly enough, also the plot of the 2008 “Repo! The Genetic Opera”.

Oddly enough, also the plot of the 2008 “Repo! The Genetic Opera”.

Indeed. Which I also didn’t see, but which did have the virtue of looking much tighter and shinier.

They’re followed by two smaller vagina litters.

Must have awesome business cards.

Bad eyes, thought that was ‘lifters’, never mind.

which did have the virtue of looking much tighter and shinier.

Had the non-virtue of starting out as an emo Rocky Horror wannabee and abandoning any kind of internal logic, replacing “plot arc” with “random sequence of events providing excuses for characters to burst into song”.

Also, the thread seems empty without the usual concern trolling.

I promise to do better once I’ve mowed the lawn. Let me finish this beer though.

which did have the virtue of looking much tighter and shinier.

Woo!

Wait, sorry, thought you were still talking about the vagina litters.

Dude, we can just release the…you know…on them, dude.

The fact is, you liberals had better be careful. If you get this health care rammed down our throats by extraconsitutional means like deem and pass and not having a 80% majority, you are farting the will of the people, and you will rape the worldwind of a revolution that you will sew. The Tea Bag Patriots will rise up and take America back on Monday Morning. Bookbark it.

I’m concerned by the lack of concern trolling.

::pearlclutch::

RELEASE THE CRACKERS…

…Oh, viewing today’s news, guess that’s been done.

THE CONSTUSHIN DON’T ALLOW FOR BLACK MEN TO RAM THEIR HEALTH PACKAGE DOWN AMERICA’S ACHINGLY DESIROUS UNWILLING THROATS

I nominate the jerkoff who goes into public toilets & leaves a grand whopping total of two sheets of butt-floss for the next poor schmuck.

You know who you are … & we’re coming for you, motherfucker.

I nominate the jerkoff who goes into public toilets & leaves a grand whopping total of two sheets of butt-floss…

That bastard! Around here it’s because he’s used the rest of it to build a nest on the turlet seat to protect his own precious hinder. And he leaves the nest there after he departs (and defarts.)

I nominate the jerkoff who goes into public toilets

LEAVE LARRY CRAIG ALONE!!

Fake Gary is trying much too hard.

heh. I said “hard”

I honestly don’t know what freaks people the hell out so much about public toilets. I’ve been sitting on them all my life, unwrapped, and I’ve never caught AIDS or syphilis or whatever these folks thinks lurks within the porcelain.

THE CONSTUSHIN DON’T ALLOW FOR BLACK MEN TO RAM THEIR HEALTH PACKAGE DOWN AMERICA’S ACHINGLY DESIROUS UNWILLING THROATS

Headline from the LA Times:

“Obama visits Capitol Hill for final healthcare push.”

It’s just aaaaaaaaaall about the President’s package, innit?

Tomorrow is perhaps the last chance to save the American Republic before it is transformed into socialistic, left-wing “progressive” cult under Obama.

Tomorrow, we will decide whether health care is to be left between a doctor and his patient or if the heavy hand of Big Brother will intervene and tell us what doctors to see, what drugs to take, what procedures we are allowed and not allowed to have, and what our place in the rationing line should be.

Tomorrow freedom itself is on the line.

Tomorrow, we will prevail and defeat Obama care once, and for all!

O heavy hand
Of Big Brother,
Don’t intervene
With me
Don’t tell me what doctor
Or drug can be mine
Don’t you tell me
What procedures
I can take.
O heavy hand
Of Big Brother,
I do not wish
To know my place
In the rationing line.

— Poem by Lee Trotsky from Arizona

Tomorrow, chillun
Freedom on the line.
O freedom!
O freedom!
Freedom on the line.

Tomorrow, chillun
We will prevail.
Prevailin’!
Prevailin’!
We gone defeat dat Obammycare.

— traditional negro spiritual

Obama visits Capitol Hill for final healthcare push

Obama can show up to push his huge package as hard as he wants, over and over and over, but America just doesn’t have the capacity to swallow his aggressive moves.

The defeat of Obamacare will be the beginning of the Republican Wave of 2010! Get ready for Speaker Boehner, and the effective end of Obama’s Presidency.

The fact that the international date line is earlier than anywhere in the 50 U.S. states means that HCR is unconstushull.

The Great Liberal Freakout starts tomorrow and I don’t have a thing to wear. Deary me.

…or if the heavy hand of Big Brother….

So you’re deep-throating the President’s package and getting a handjob from Big Brother? Hawt.

Hey look out mama
The defeat of Obama
Is gonna be happenin soon
The Republican wave
His agenda gonna stave
Not gonna listen to this coon.
It’s such a no-brainer
Gone be president Boehner
Americans his will to obey
Obama and minions
Don’t need no opinions
2010 gonna be a new day.

— Goin’ Galt by Led Zeppelin (Zeppelin VIII)

So you’re deep-throating the President’s package and getting a handjob from Big Brother?

Nah, Big Brother just likes to watch.

You’re going to be shocked tomorrow, liberals.

I have the inside line that the Republicans have a LOT of tricks up their sleeves.

You better hope this doesn’t pass, because if it does, the end result will be even worse than when Barney Frank and Chris Dodd caused the recession through government intervention with the housing bubble with Fannie and Freddie.

Learn Econ 101!

My death panel is going to be flame mahogany with a kind of dentil-cut shelf under the frieze. There’s egg-and-dart trim, gilded, around the top, which is upholstered in green leather with a matte finish.

It sounds loud, I know, but remember because of the height of the jury stand, you don’t see the top from the plaintiff’s area, or even the gallery.

With the red carpet, it’s going to be beautiful.

OT — no-one could possibly have expected that the anti-science alternative-medicine nimrods would find Jonah Goldberg’s afflatus so sympathetic.
Homeopathy is the Jew of Nazi Medicine.

…not only is [science-based] medicine ineffective for a host of neurological conditions, it is murderous. It is mass murder. It’s genocide. It’s the American Holocaust.

Naturopathy is the Sikh of Communist Shoemaking.

I have the inside line that the Republicans have a LOT of tricks up their sleeves.

No, no, you’ve got it backwards; a “trick,” in the vernacular, is the one PAYING for the sex, which would make Republicans the tricks (see: Vitter.)

Unless you’re saying that they know a lot of other tricks to do with the steely, throbbing socialist package aside from having it shoved down their throats.

In case anyone missed it, Greenwald critiques Castiglione Klein’s latest Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Sycophancy today http://www.salon.com/news/opinion/glenn_greenwald/2010/03/20/health_care/index.html .

I propose the classic death panel: one hangs by ones fingers from a cliff while the Furies beat their wings about one’s head.

Isn’t that part of your job?

I don’t deal with the Furies until after I send out an invoice.

…and what our place in the rationing line should be.

Guess who’s wait just got a little longer?

Oooh the agony of waiting in line!!

The Horror
The Horror

I’m Melting!
I’m Melting!

What a world!
What a world!

Here is how it will go down tomorrow. First, the glans and frenulum will come in, and they’ll be socialest. You’ll be disappointed, but “no big deal, Obama can’t come overnight” will be your comment. The foreskin will go red, and a little nervousness will creep in. The usual suspects will fall into the usual categories. As the night drags on, the shaft, the mucosa, and (much to your horror) the testicles will be too close to deny.

My advice at this point to you will be to try to go to bed. Just try. You will wake up to a mouthful of health care package and the Great Troll Freakout will be on.

Bookmark this, Troofie, as this is exactly how it is going to go down. You will be wonder how the hell I was able to call this.

Guess who’s wait just got a little longer?

WHOSE. Off to the grammar re-education camp with you, you counter-revolutionary.

one hangs by ones fingers from a cliff while the Furies beat their wings about one’s head.

That’s kind of weird, but as long as none of the Furies is Cigarskunk, I can put up with it.

Wait – how many “r”s?

Look at your glorious leader’s bracket and weep http://games.espn.go.com/tcmen/en/entry?entryID=3288143

No better than 2 of his projected Final Four teams even have a chance at making the Final Four. How can we expect a man who couldn’t even predict the Kansas upset be expected to successfully socialize medicine?

I heard there won’t be a trophy handed out this year anyway. To make things “fair” the trophy will just be cut into 65 pieces and everybody will take a piece. Your government in action, libs.

Poe rears his head, I can’t tell if the above is parody.

“As the night drags on, the shaft, the mucosa, and (much to your horror) the testicles will be too close to deny.”

AHAHAHAHAHA sorry, immoderate laughter.

It was parody. Little love though I have for Obama, it should be noted he’s currently leading ESPN’s “celebrity bracketologists”, which includes such noted luminaries as Mike Golick and Tony “Stat Boy” Reali. It was the upsets of Georgetown and K.U. that killed him, and even as we speak Rahm is hard at work making sure nobody from Ohio University or Northern Iowa ever works anywhere in this country again and when the IRS gets done with the audits their credit ratings will be so trashed they won’t be able to get a Blockbuster card.

Looks like the mainstream DC journalists are finally getting it, too.

They’re afraid that they won’t be invited to all the right parties if they ignore it.

Health Care Protesters Hurl Verbal Epithets At African American Lawmakers

Department of Redundancy Department approves of this headline.

The best thing about this whole kerfuffle is that, by saddling HCR with the “Obamacare” moniker, the Republicans will remind voters that their party sucks balls for generations to come.

I nominate Dick Cheney and his colostomy bag.

That must be why they love the teabaggers so much.

And, besides, what has Cheney’s stoma bag done that’s so wrong? Seems like we ought to empathize with it for having put up with so much toxic shit for so long.

Death by multiply-resistant staph, or is that one reserved for young-earth creationists?

I think I have a new crush.

Newsletter?

every single wingnut in the universe wakes up tomorrow as a desperately poor, pregnant teenaged black woman

Now you’re giving me this dilemma? I can’t have TWO new crushes. Newsletter? Etc. Also, central to my point.

You’re going to be shocked tomorrow, liberals.

Is “Don’t tase me bro” still funny?

Teabagger sign reads “Warning, if Brown can’t stop it, a browning can”

Shorter: “Power flows out of the barrel of a gun.”

Shorterer: Die or I’ll kill you.

I make a median hummus.

Will you let me live n….oops, nevermind.

People, is our nation well and truly prepared for the events of tomorrow afternoon, with the prospect of every single Republican diaper on the continent simultaneously being soiled at once?

Have we run multivariate simulations on this in our secret think tanks? Will the resulting collective stench be so overpowering as to awaken Cthulhu’s minions? Will the Earth’s axis shift fractionally as it did after the Chile quake? Is it possible I might laugh so hard at the teabaggers patriotically enunciating the hard R at the end of nigga at their CINC during wartime that I develop stress fractures in my uvula?

I feel I must point out the delicious irony of the Teabaggers showing their true colors just after Doughy Pantload wrote a column praising them for their seriousness and deep thinking. I kid you not.

I think a special place on the death panel list belongs to Mr. Goldberg. I think he deserves a place in a rising REALLY fascist movement that, at the moment of their triumph, purges certain members of their leadership…by putting them in concentration camps. We’ll have budget to mock all that up, right?

with the prospect of every single Republican diaper on the continent simultaneously being soiled at once?

Not to worry. Science has shown us that the downward force of the soiling will be canceled out by the upward force of all the vomiting, and the Earth’s axis will be safe another day.

My vote goes to Troofie.

Smut Clyde said at 4:49
OT — no-one could possibly have expected that the anti-science alternative-medicine nimrods….

ahem…Nimrods are the good guys…ahem. Those guys are crackers. New Zealand, where the dingleberries are like stalagmites.

The Great Liberal Freakout starts tomorrow and I don’t have a thing to wear.

I suggest going naked, it really puts the “freak” in “freakout.”

I can’t tell you how ecstatic I am that Fucking Kansas got fucking beat.

NOW I have my first nominee!

I have the inside line that the Republicans have a LOT of tricks up their sleeves.

I have the inside line that the Republicans have a LOT of snot encrusting their sleeves.

Tomorrow, we will decide whether health care is to be left between a doctor and his patient or if the heavy hand of Big Brother will intervene and tell us what doctors to see, what drugs to take, what procedures we are allowed and not allowed to have, and what our place in the rationing line should be.

My insurance company tells me exactly what doctors to see, what drugs I’m allowed to take (cheap generics), and what procedures I’m allowed to have. They haven’t actually assigned a rationing number to me yet. And I have to pay them through the nose for the privilege, to the point where I can only afford the coverage for myself and not my unemployed husband, and every penny I pay goes to support another Republican asshole’s aristocratic lifestyle. Apparently Fucking Ignorant Republican Asshole thinks that having the government do the same thing for a tenth of the cost is “socialism.” I suggest that Fucking Ignorant Republican Asshole repay the government for every single thing he ever got from it, starting with (at the very least) the clean water that prevented him from dying of dysentery in infancy, the public-school education his parents would never have been able to pay for (not that it seems to have done him much good, since he’s still a Fucking Ignorant Asshole), and the physical security that patrols the streets and the coasts for him.

I say, as a test case, we try Osama bin Laden under the death panel. Guy’s perfect for it, what with that dialysis machine he’s carrying around. Then we can watch the great conservative freakout begin as they all jump to his defense from execution under the death panel, which means they’re then guilty of high treason for their rendering aid to the enemy in a time of war.

Then we have all of them imprisoned in the FEMA camps, like we had planned.