The Self-Shortering Of Argie McBargle
Megan “Two Sheds” McArdle, The Atlantic Monthly:
Politico’s ‘Doc Fix’ Memo: Fake, But Accurate?Mar 19 2010, 3:37 PM ET
Update: Please READ THE POST before launching into your attacks. Hint: the headline is name checking a famous quote, not suggesting that this was a valid idea. Had you read the post before beginning your cringe-inducing denunciations of my “hypocrisy”, you would have, um, known that.
Let’s look at the post again. Nope, there’s not much for us to do here but add some formatting. This process is for you in some way, uh, Matt.
But hold on. Megan, I know you’re there; I can smell the x-tini vapors from the ginger- pomegranate- anger- and cackletinis, as well as from the underlying home-alone buzz of narcissistinis from the bottle marked “I’m not the bottle; you are.” Turn on your voice recognition input-output software for a minute. I think it’s under ‘accessibility.’ O hai! Here comes our friend Colin Abomscaire. Let’s get him caught up on things.
Check, test, ahem. Nope, there’s not much for us to do here but…mmm, prepare to play this Tales from Topographic Oceans compact disk, and add some formatting. The formatting is for Matt, see?
For Matt, see, Colin?
CD, See, Colin?
For Matt, see, Colin?
Enter: Yes.
Yes. Are you sure? Yes.
…Is the band whose compact disk is playing, or not, Megan, hello are you there? Welp, guess we’ll see if this slows her down at all, not that any physical or moral boundary ever seems to.
She might be a Mac user, since magazinos, journalists, and people paid as journalists often are, and I don’t know how you do this to a Mac, but it’s probably something like, Apple can erase your hard drive remotely at any time, but you aren’t allowed to access any folders without going to the Apple Store, where an admin will add privileged user credentials to your service plan. There should also be, if I’ve perceived these things correctly over the years, a shockingly easy way to do it by typing ERASE SESAME or something, that old-school Mac people are now generationally familiar with, but that’s now mounded over on the Internet by ten million forum discussions in which recent Mac users debate questions like, “My Mac isn’t working. Should I press squiggly-something?” or “What does the ‘control’ key actually control? If it’s programs, why is there also one on the opposite side?” Oh right, the formatting:
Shorter Megan “Widey McGyre” McArdle:1
Above: Arthur Rackham, illustration from McAlice’s Atlantures
in Montherland (1907)
Megan “Lit & Stretchy” McArdle,2 The Atlantic Monthly:
Politico’s ‘Doc Fix’ Memo: Fake, But Accurate?
- Update: Please READ THE POST before launching into your attacks. Hint: the headline is name checking a famous quote, not suggesting that this was a valid idea. Had you read the post before beginning your cringe-inducing denunciations of my “hypocrisy”, you would have, um, known that.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
One of those read-the-rest-ratings, such as people do, would only step on the beautiful fading resonances of her final chord. It would be a number like no. I mean by this the number, no, which is defined as zero except without all that non-nothing stuff that zero has stuck in it, such as the ability to denote decimal places. You may ask, “How many decimal places does the blop-blop, something with the jim-jam…” and if you’re discussing the number, no, the answer is not even none, not even zero decimal places. The answer is, “How many decimal places does the blopNO.” And if they start talking again, you say, “By mathematics, talk equals NO.”
That’s how you’d have to truthfully answer, and it’s about what an objective read-the-rest rating would have to be. Also, is it me, or does The Reincarnation of Peter Proud sound like an Edwardian stage production with lots of, you know, Being Earnest, if you varda my palare?3
1 Cf.
2 Cf.
3 Porn version: The Reërection of Dixie Rection. I go now to eat of the Diareëse’s Peanut Butter Cup. I have for her a song:
Waah do you fill me up (fill me up),
Nutter Butt, baby, just to let me down?
I quote Ezra Pound:
“Either move (or be moved),”
I ain’t whist-lin’ Dixie-
-Rection’s a didgeridoo…
O-oh, a canned demand: (a map, Lacan),
Maná-la-pan, ma candy-rú.
What? You’re lookin’ at me like you got a nanimus against the human spirit.
I wrote a play about people’s nanimosity. It’s about a guy named Lart who’s sitting on a bench. Lart, Poor Lart, it’s called. “Lart, poor Lart.” And Lart sees his friend, LaVie. “Say, LaVie,” he says. And LaVie answers, “Come see Cumsah,” because Cumsah is their friend. And LaVie opens the laundry bag he’s carrying and inside is a giant bag of cheese popcorn, a couple big tubs of ice cream, and about a hundred Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, along with DVDs of Albert Ayler, Sun Ra and his Arkestra, and Pharoah Sanders, and some toy cars and army men and a mini strobe light; and Lart is like, “Bong voyage!” LaVie says, “Bong march, eh?” but Lart jingles his keys. “To da coupe!” they say.
And since the play isn’t a Kia Sephia or a Geo Prizm, you might not want a giant spoiler for the end, so I’ll just tell you the day-new-mon of Act One. At Cumsah’s house, they’re all waiting for GoDonuts, ’cause Flat Amir and Estra gone out for some, except “nothing very definite,” according to Amir. Lart commiserates with his friend Les. “Lart, poor Lart,” says Les. “Les, miserable Les,” says Lart. And all this is going on, and then, just as LaVie is getting into a whole unfortunate thing with this big palooka Shawn, Plus-Sized LaMame shows.
You’re lookin’ at me like you don’t have a raisin debt.
You need to go out and find your raisin debt. This is just cheese news, but I owe a lot of my raisins to gourmet food gatherings like the Savoir Fair and the SoupCon. All the tetta-tets and P.A. dettairs, talkin’ about Chef Doovers, and Mater Dotel, and Sue’s Chef and their chefsty cuisine. It’s true. Helped me to set up my me’s in place. I used to be like, “I’m glad this is fo’ Grah, ’cause I wouldn’t like none myself.” Now I just love it how the S-car go.
Horse derfs. Now, I prefer those at the beginning of a meal. Amuse ghouls — those can upset your stomach, but if you’re a ghoul, I guess you won’t mind the squirrel eyeballs and stuff in ’em. The ol’ can of peas, a moose bush. Oh, look at the time: Dick’s wheat cans. Nerf. I gotta go; it’s nearly findy-sickle, and my show is on. …On Shonté; it’s a show on a girl named Shonté. Sure. Oh, me too. Ta-ta! Or as they say in La France: Late ‘Ta,’ Same Wah.
Dear Gavin,
Can you please stop with the unreadable oh so self consciously clever hyper-referential, hyper-discursive style that you’ve adopted over the last year or so? Just write the goddamn post-modern novel you so clearly mean to write, and otherwise write in clear, simple sentences when, as here, you are trying to make an actual valid point. Seriously dude, the endless self-indulgent “wit” only diminishes your generally decent arguments.
Pearls? Oh no, not for me thanks. I’m stuffed.
an i doan unnerstand them french girls get all mooney eyes but then all they say is shut da door
Boy, I’ll say. How many times can you win the Internets in one week? This is fabulous stuff. It makes my brain hurt. Also.
I would send you money just for writing this, but I can’t until Monday, since I left my credit cards in another city.
So I find myself waiting, forgot dough.
I agree with lancelotlink. This is Serious Business. Meggerz has some very serious points and, I trust you’re aware, they must be addressed.
I do hope to see more somber, good old fashioned Puritan coherence and a more lapidary argumentative style in your next post, should the world so long endure. Premise, premise, premise, and then, ineluctably, conclusion.
Yours in Christ,
kCs
A brilliant deconstruction of McMegan’s efforts to loose the dreck.
Thinking. Footnotes. Brain. Hurts. Make. Stop.
Dear Gavin, can you please stop…
Dear complainant,
How is
I can smell the x-tini vapors from the ginger- pomegranate- anger- and cackletinis, as well as from the underlying home-alone buzz of narcissistinis from the bottle marked “I’m not the bottle; you are.”
unreadable?
Though I might suggest the addition of a McCargarita glass rimmed with pink Himalayan Salt (the only kind she eats, apparently).
Somewhere in California, Mark Z. Danielewski is blushing,
loose the dreck.
Let me guess the source of the quote…the Yiddish translation of “Release the Kraken!”?
WARNING: Post contains grapheme language and umlaut situations.
tales from topographic oceans: you thought to yourself, even as a 11 year old, this has to be as bad as it gets–as bloated, as unselfconsciously stupid and inane, as embarrassingly album-art=lyrics+music. that this must be the nadir of the 70s (even rounding Asia INTO the 70s, when they may have been 1980), everything so fattened with sub-intellectual pathetic idiocy…
then someone did 2112, and the universe took a shit-vomit on itself.
and this, friends, is why they invented The Fall.
the universe took a shit-vomit on itself.
This does not sound desirable.
I’d listen to Tales from Topographic Oceans 6 times a day if it meant there were no FoxNooz & right wing radio.
2112? Fucking inflation…
I ate at 2112 once, to placate a young cousin. Worst restaurant food I can remember and I came very close to punching out a blue-skinned alien.
Fucking whore. I had to get out of the boat cuz it’s ostensibly my job n (BTW, I quit) and whaddayahave?
“(The other major reason, as far as I’m concerned, is that Politico posted it; one assumes that they vetted it somehow)”
Yeah, and one would also assume that basic sentence construction would be in the skill-set of a “professional writer;” one would be wrong, so very wrong, as far as I can tell, which is pretty far, given that i’m a professional blog snarker.
No, to be fair, it is pretty much unreadable.
In non-news news: Megan got pwned. And won’t cop to it.
In other news, sun rose in the East.
**Stretch**
**Yawn**
**Scratch**
Hey, there’s some kinda vote happening today, right?
“(The other major reason, as far as I’m concerned, is that Politico posted it; one assumes that they vetted it somehow)”
Hanx for getting out of the boat.
~
When CGI weenies construct a dubious universe around the “camera” to get just the perfect shot, I get cranky. When Gavin chainsaws both semiotics and the English language to make it fit around a series of exponentially redonkulous puns, I giggle like a kid on Christmas. Does this make me a bad person?
“Hey, there’s some kinda vote happening today, right?”
STFU. You’re going to make them kill Captain Clown, again.
Some of the esoteric humour escapes me too, but I take delight in the knowledge that it also goes over McMegan’s head. For a snob like her, being mocked in a sophisticated way, one too subtle even for her to be sure she understands must really be irksome. I picture her reading it several times, furiously googling the key phrases that seem to be literary references, and still unsure she gets the joke being made at her expense.
Is this group in contrast to a real or hypothetical group of CGI machos or CGI hep cats?
You libruls only have a few hours left until the TeaTardocalypse.
I picture her reading it several times, furiously googling the key phrases that seem to be literary references, and still unsure she gets the joke being made at her expense.
I would say this makes her brane hurt but that assumes some facts not currently in evidence. Being a ditz is hard work sometimes.
TeaTardocalypse.
The Great Soiling is anon.
to loose the dreck.
Is there a WordPress plugin to make the site go all Pee-Wee’s Playhouse Secret Word freaky whenever someone does this? That would be cool.
Only a few hours left to stock your mobile vehicles with all the Depends undergarments that your local warehouse shopping clubs provide — without your help patrolling the streets ensuring that the TeaTardicans are properly equipped, a giant hygienic threat waits to brown our nation’s streets.
a giant hygienic threat waits to brown our nation’s streets.
Is this what they mean when they talk about “watering the tree of liberty?”
Is this group in contrast to a real or hypothetical group of CGI machos or CGI hep cats?
All. One. Dude.
You libruls only have a few hours left until the TeaTardocalypse.
I guess I should hit the tea shop early, then.
I liked the format, too. Maybe next time a unix joke?
They heard this one time on a radio show that the ‘tree of liberty’ lives in the sewers, ever fleeing from one soshullist un-Constushull plot to the next, so they figure if they help, um, ‘water’ and ‘feed’ everywhere, at least a few of them have to be near the ‘tree of liberty’ in its underground haunts before one day it emerges and
kills all the negroes and homos and yankees and college typesrestores good Constushull gubmit like we had inthe Confederacythe Articles of Confederation asGodRonald Reagan intended when he created this country.How long until one of them photoshops a hammer and sickle onto the flag?
James Clyburn just said that they’re “still short” on the votes they need.
Not looking good for big government liberals!
wow this weak really pulled all the stops with its panel of 5 middle aged white men
I got off the boat ’cause there might be somethin’ big in the water and
shorter whatsherface: “I did all this reading about why doc.fix might be real, and before I could post, everyone else says it might be bogus. I’ll pretend I care whether its bogus at the end, but I’m gonna post as if its real in the beginning. What are libs gonna do, release the Kraken on me? I think not!”
I hope the Orange Boner has brought extra spray with him to redo the undercoating when the tears burn much of his current coat off.
Afraid I agree with Lancelotlink. I haven’t been able to fully comprehend a Gavin post at least since Obama was elected, if not longer. Reading this blog should not be like work unless you are prepared to pay me for doing so.
“Fake but Accurate.” Yet another “forgery” that served the Bush Administration needs.
I hope the Orange Boner has brought extra spray with him to redo the undercoating when the tears burn much of his current coat off.
He should go with some colloidal silver to bring that orange hue down a few notches.
“Fake but Accurate”?
Then why did Dan Rather lose his job?
Sam donaldson is surprisingly sane and cogent, even acknowledging bi-partisanship is na gonna happen. Deeply unserious of course.
so, *sniff*, so you’re saying I won’t be able to retire on the proceeds of selling my LP copy of Tales From Topographic Oceans?
Seriously, even for a die-hard like meself, it’s a rough listen, which is probably why I haven’t played it in a couple of decades.
furiously googling the key phrases
That would involve Megan making actual effort and engaging in research, two things she has firmly established by now she does not particularly care for. It’s much easier to just dismiss all critics by claiming they misunderstood her point, preferably while breaking up sentences with a dreadfully condescending “um” or “you know.” It’s kept her seat warm at the offices of the Atlantic this long; don’t see why she should change anything now.
Design your own Orange Boner end result color. Mix his unnatural orange hue with colloidal silver grey-blue or other skin penetrants. It’s minutes of fun for the whole family!
colloidal silver
Here’s the kicker, liberals:
Mitch McConnell said the Senate still has to pass the reconciliation parts of the bill before it becomes law. If it fails in the Senate, the House could have to take this up AGAIN.
Republicans in the Senate are going to slow, slow, slooooow this down by offering useless amendments, making them read the whole thing again and again, making useless motions, etc, etc, etc.
We can drag this out the whole summer!
Then why did Dan Rather lose his job?
No kidding. Dan may have got the better deal, though, since TV news was already heading to tabloid country even then.
At this stage in my life, I’m not at all surprised anymore by the proliferation of right wing shitbag ideologues used as commontaters and pundits and experts in various mass media.
I am, however, still somewhat shocked at how such completely effortless, lazy, not even pseudo-qualified shitbags as McAddled manage to rope in not just one but media-spanning ‘expert’ positions.
My god, the whineless simperers on NPR and Marketplace Brought To You By GE have her on as an ‘expert’, and she can literally know zero about a subject but gets to interact on it.
In better news, Joan Walsh is a bit tired of Pat Buchannan doing his drag show act as workin’ class Joe.
Silly dumbass, have you not learned? If you shout angry right wing opinions, this makes you a working class hero.
You ain’t got to be all poor and shit, with your lousy job and whatnot — you jes’ got to act like you like pickup trucks (I DRIVE A TRUCK), hate college perfessers, love bombin’ the shit out of some brown people, and like whatever rotating assortment of rural REELAMURKA pastimes are big in small areas.
However, Walsh should be denounced on the floors of Congress for her clear racism, because quoting TeaTards’ racist statements and suggesting that they indicate racist sentiments is, of course, racist.
Mitch McTortoise may need to have to borrow some of his colleagues’ tissue and lozenges after his tearful recovery from having had THIS HUGE OBAMA PACKAGE RAMMED DOWN HIS THROAT.
O/T penis glow fun. At least glow fun.
DeMint expects House to pass health care bill today
South Carolina senator expect bill to pass despite GOP opposition
Buktmarck this, teatards!
~
“O/T penis glow fun. At least glow fun,”
Green fluorescent protein is the most fun protein…. for straight males anyway. (or gay females, I suppose.)
The Tragically Flip says:
“I picture her reading it several times, furiously googling the key phrases that seem to be literary references, and still unsure she gets the joke being made at her expense.”
Nah. Megan’s A LIBERTARIAN. What cares she what people think? What cares she about what’s really real? You don’t assume the nym “Jane Gault” by subjecting your pwecious widdle subjectivity to the test of whether it actually “plays” in the real world.
Being a libertarian means never having to say, “Wait. Really?”
That’s just the point. She’s an expert in the field of not knowing jackshit about anything. Millions of Americans have come to trust her ability to show a total lack of comprehension in all areas of public policy. There’s even talk that she’s being considered for the Nobel Prize in Snot-Gobbling Ignorance.
This makes her very well-qualified for modern television news analysis.
This makes her very well-qualified for modern television news analysis.
Or the Republican nominee for Preznit.
That ought to do wonders for your “spiteful, obstructionist, Party of No” image. Pur-leeez, Bre’r Wingnut, don’t throw us in that briar patch!
Once the house passes its vote, the Senate bill will just need Obama’s signature to be law. If the Republicans block the reconciliation sidecar somehow, they won’t block Obamacare.
making useless motions, etc, etc, etc.
Troofie knows a whole punch about useless motions, one suspects.
Fap, fap, fap.
Or a “bunch.”
Those motions are still a hella lot more useful than anything Megan does at her keyboard.
When Gavin chainsaws both semiotics and the English language to make it fit around a series of exponentially redonkulous puns, I giggle like a kid on Christmas. Does this make me a bad person?
Yes, but the first step is recognizing you have a problem.
Update: Please READ THE POST before launching into your attacks. Hint: the headline is name checking a famous quote, not suggesting that this was a valid idea. Had you read the post before beginning your cringe-inducing denunciations of my “hypocrisy”, you would have, um, known that.
Fed dinks don’t talk too well.
Hokay.
1. ME-gan says there’s all sorts of reasons to think that the doc fix memo is fake.
2. In fact, one of the strongest reasons for believing it not to be fake is the fact that Politico posted it and one assumes that they vetted it somehow. Although the fact that it has been retracted means that the “vetting process” missed something. In fact, if Politico’s actions are supposed to be some sort of bellwether for authenticity (you can stop laughing now) – the retraction makes the memo seem that much more fake.
3. HOWEVER the memo says things that ME-gan believes are true (that Dems want to ram dirty backroom deals through).
Therefore, it is entirely reasonable for ME-gan to claim that Dhimmicraps are evil and dishonest and corrupt and full of shady shadiness and double-no-good. I mean, the memo may well be fake – but that it seems so believable to ME-gan means that all of ME-gan’s prejudices against lie-beral phaggortzes are totes reaffirmed. And anyone who sees a flaw in that argument didn’t RTFP – because, like, MEgs denounced the rightbloggeristas oh-so-harshly by pointing out that even if thought they are right (Dems are profoundly and inherently EVIL), they shouldn’t use a likely hoax to support the point.
Do I got that right?
Congressman Pence said to “stay tuned” on the Republican tactics to kill this bill today. He’s got a secret plan.
How is
I can smell the x-tini vapors from the ginger- pomegranate- anger- and cackletinis, as well as from the underlying home-alone buzz of narcissistinis from the bottle marked “I’m not the bottle; you are.”
unreadable?
It’s not, and it’s bloody brilliant.
Hats off for the polari reference. A great and dead slang I had the opportunity to hear in London when I was just a cabin boy. Awesome.
McArdle, not so much.
Whoah, that last sentence got grammar no using in pants sense making sub par lick-my-nuts-infinity. I blame Dems for all their shady backroom ramming through of huge packages.
Republican secret plans always work out perfectly! You Jew cocksuckers.
Yeah, but after burning through all those pixels expounding on the many reasons why she feels that the doc fix memo is “fake, but accurate,” she concludes with a brief exhortation to the teabaggers to please, please, please not use talking points from the memo because it might be a fake which makes it totally different from Rathergate because SHUT UP THAT’S WHY. Also, too.
Or perhaps McArglebargle is actually a meta-irony ninja. You decide.
My complaint isn’t with Gavin, who is too clever for me, which is my own damn fault. My beef is with the inevitable “Hey, I got that one reference!” in the comments.
“Dude, ‘Made him an offer he couldn’t refuse’, that’s from ‘The Godfather’, right? Ha ha, ‘An offer he couldn’t refuse’! I get it! I totally remember that quote from ‘The Godfather’! Good job, Gavin, I thought I was the only one who’d heard of it!”.
Why does it hurt when I go like this?
“Dear Gavin,
Can you please stop with the unreadable oh so self consciously clever hyper-referential, hyper-discursive style that you’ve adopted over the last year or so? Just write the goddamn post-modern novel you so clearly mean to write, and otherwise write in clear, simple sentences when, as here, you are trying to make an actual valid point. Seriously dude, the endless self-indulgent “wit” only diminishes your generally decent arguments.”
Quit clownin’, dawg.
So, srsly, my morning pandiculations accomp’d, all shuffling around with the winkers at half-mast, hum-te-tum, check the internazz for tidbits of news and information that suggest what changes the world has undergone whilst I slumbered, bim-bom-biddle-um… Oh, what have we here? Fever pitch in Washington, Democrats unite to lift single teaspoon an inch off the floor. Neat. They call that cooperation on Sesame Street. Republicans denounce spoon-lifting as end of universe event likely to trigger actual Biblical apocalypse. Hum! Well. Sippy-sip tea. Realize am hung over from Holi party yesterday, somebody released the Kraken in my head. Kraken took dead sailor-studded dump in mouth. Okay but so no news even though it’s big non-news. Hem.
Funny how the news isn’t the news any more, on left or right of spectrum, it’s just editorials with the opinion removed. Probably a profound thought, should write that down for when feeling tip-top. I know, will check Sadly, No, hoping to find witty elliptical posts that loop all over the place with much sound and fury, signifying somebody’s an asshole. Also will check own posts from recent days to see if anybody else admired my slashfic of Bill Clinton getting his cock stroked by angry troll.
Ah! Look! One of those very elliptical humor posts, and it even mentions extinct British theater/fag slang I used in my second novel to make it just so authentic and alive.
Sippy-sip the tea! Now post response. Now read comments. First comment is total fail! Oh noes, as the cute kids used to say when they were pretending to be cats on the intersphere. Failpost!
Now my day is sad. Please, chillun. Please. We take our teh funneh undiluted here, raw and robust. Let us fall by the wayside, broken, dazed, who cannot complete the obstacle-strewn mission to follow the imaginary white rabbit. Let us take little side-trips to places gay and strange! But let us not imagine this is a place for timid setups and punch lines and direct observational laffs about Megan McArgy-Bargy’s personal appearance or grammatical foibles. Let us instead spin like the moon-bims of Krazy Kat into a wild universe of intersecting things that intersect.
Thank you.
“My complaint isn’t with Gavin, who is too clever for me, which is my own damn fault. My beef is with the inevitable “Hey, I got that one reference!” in the comments.
“Dude, ‘Made him an offer he couldn’t refuse’, that’s from ‘The Godfather’, right? Ha ha, ‘An offer he couldn’t refuse’! I get it! I totally remember that quote from ‘The Godfather’! Good job, Gavin, I thought I was the only one who’d heard of it!”.”
FUCK YOU BITCH IT’S ME AND MY LOVE OF POLARI YOU’RE MOCKING ON! I JUST MAILED YOU A BIG SHIT IN A BOX!
spilled my tea there.
Don’t harsh our buzz, Nom de Plume. It’s hard enough trying to keep up with the big dogs here; getting a reference is like getting a gold star on your spelling quiz after flunking the science test. Just a pat on the back to keep you trying.
My beef is with the inevitable “Hey, I got that one reference!” in the comments.
And just who made you get out of the boat?
Oh. Never mind.
~
Megan:
This thing I am talking about: nobody should talk about it.
I’ll have what Gavin is having.
Don’t let fish in the boat.
~
Incidentally, “kerfuffle:” overused political word of the year, 2009? Thanks Megan, for keeping it fresh and vital. For 2010 it’s going to be “paltripolitan.”
Now is the best time to release your kraken. Or, if you’re looking to make a change, come on down and check out our great lineup of new and pre-owned krakens.
Who ate little Preview?
Something I’ve been wondering: why does she look so much prettier in this Photoshop than she actually is?
Everybody’s hotter when they’re eight years old, man.
Still works for me on FF 3.6–maybe yours went Galt.
MSNBC says Stupak may have changed to a “yes.” Interesting.
Oh, I see. The problem was on my end. Carry on, lil krakens!
Stupak himself would never have been born, except his old man’s loads were so sour his mom decided to let him decorate the beef place instead of doing the right thing for posterity and swallerin’.
RTFP
Buzzflash: Reading the full post does not change anyone’s perception based on the title alone. Further lengthening her self-shortering through an update. I take it Gavin’s just doing the same thing here.
Also, does anyone remember the Schiavo memo? Hinderaker, after a valiant attempt at transcendental mediation, hypothesized that the memo was a fake. It did look pretty silly. Guess what! REAL.
MSNBC is saying that Blart Stupak will vote yes because Obama gave him a reach-around in his executive order. So it’s all over, the bill will pass easily.
Bookmark it libs
No, no, don’t change a thing. I read Gavin’s post and it sent me straight through the gates of delerium.
Butting in here to ask the authors will give us a new thread for the health care vote.
I think watching teatard heads explode is worthy of its own convo space. Anyone need popcorn? Vodka? A grope and then a tickle fight?
CNN says Stupak is STILL A “NO!”
Suck it!
FOX NEWS also says Stupak a “NO”!
“CNN says Stupak is STILL A “NO!””
From the Corner:
Suck harder.
Man, that Gavin is so deep and meaningful as to be practically meaningless. You dont talk to Gavin, you listen, man. If I use the force to read his posts, I can see he agrees with me, and we understand each other man. We understand what you little brains cannot.
Bloody Sunday is of course the reference to the massacre of 13 people by British forces during a peaceful protest march in Northern Ireland in 1972.
As it happens, the UK government of the day was the administration of Conservative PM Heath.
It’s over, libs! The Republicans said they’re going to kill this bill, and they’ve been wrong about that so many times before, so they’re clearly due for a win!
“Suck it!”
I smell something. What is it? Fear? Desperation? Poop?
Has McArdle ever, anywhere, admitted that she might be wrong, or even that it might be possible for decent people of conscience to understand her and yet still disagree? Do you think she even pulled this, “You obviously didn’t read what I wrote” crap when her professors graded her essays in school?
I read Gavin’s post and it sent me straight through the gates of delerium.
I just assume Gavin is a master of some dadaist poetic form that I don’t understand and let the words wash over me.
They also said Iraq has oodles of WMDs and ACORN is all about pimpin’ dem hoez, so you know it must be true.
CNN: “Rep. Bart Stupak still a ‘no’ updated 2 days ago”
If you search the site, as of right now there are no articles with any content more recent than yesterday.
Fox: “Stupak, Dems Close to Deal
Dem opposed to abortion says he is close to agreement that would allow him to vote for health care bill”
[Kathryn Jean Lopez]
UPDATE: Politico has Stupak as a yes, “according to senior Democratic aides.”
Thank Christ our friends on the Right are taking matters of governance seriously for once, not just as a team sport, the point of which is to win, regardless of policy outcomes.
This is why I’m not longer much interested in what we do, as a nation, to sort ourselves out. For a century or more, we’ve taught Americans that results = scores, not results = consequences. Now we’re hurtling towards a consequence-laden world that doesn’t keep score.
Then again, most of the parts of the world that are competing directly with us have universal health care, so maybe they’ve all been inoculated with smartypants hormones or something.
The fact is, if this is passed, you liberals will be responsible for the bloodshed as a third American Revolutions ignites in the Heartland to Restore The Consitution.
Right, and all 60 million people living in the Midwest rise up as one and attack the coasts where the remaining 300 million people live. Carnage! I call fake Gary. Fruit hanging low, even for him.
“if this is passed, you liberals will be responsible”
That is the heart of the problem with the right. They feel we are responsible for what they do. That is how a child thinks.
What is it? Fear? Desperation? Poop?
It is all of these. We call it trepidespereces.
Man, that Gavin is so deep and meaningful as to be practically meaningless. You dont talk to Gavin, you listen, man. If I use the force to read his posts, I can see he agrees with me, and we understand each other man. We understand what you little brains cannot.
It’s a masturpiece.
Hey, pal, it’s not the liberals’ faults that the conservatives are revolting.
I still substitute “the Giant Elf” every time I hear Megger’s name. It never fails to make me laff. I’m stupid like that.
And this?
“By mathematics, talk equals NO.”
lick-my-nuts-infinity-plus-good.
I learn so much from Gav’s posts.
Longer Megan: Okay, it’s a fake promulgated by a bunch of liars but I just want to believe it so bad, I think that’s just what I’ll do!
…the conservatives are revolting.
They’re also raising a fuss.
It is all of these. We call it trepidespereces.
Good, but needs more POOP and more FEAR OF A BLACK PENIS.
My try: Despinegripenipoobia
Yeah, I’m really terrified of a revolt led by Limbaugh and his fellow chickenhawks. Will they crap themselves before or after they flee across the border? Only time will tell.
I still substitute “the Giant Elf” every time I hear Megger’s name. It never fails to make me laff. I’m stupid like that.
I still think of the title to that one post: “Are You There, Failure? It’s Me, Megan.”
Shit!! I missed the 2nd revolution??!! Dammit! I was only out of the country for 3 weeks. So, who won?
Copromelanomedorthophobia. Fear of poopy black PENIS.
Would you believe that the answer to that is supposed to be “socialism?” SRSLY. It’s like the last 40 years never happened.
Bloody Sunday is of course the reference to the massacre of 13 people by British forces during a peaceful protest march in Northern Ireland in 1972.
Sorry. I ain’t defending what the British paras did that day or the subsequent whitewashing of the incident, but that protest was hardly peaceful.
It was the result of the introduction of Truck Nuts.
Are you William Gaddis?
Demonstrators can be kept peaceful only by the liberal application of 2×4’s, or the application of 2×4’s to liberals.
but that protest was hardly peaceful.
I stand corrected, but it’s still telling that Troofus thinks this is a good reference to use for defeating health care legislation.
Speaking of which, the teabaggers are apparently trying to force their way into the house chamber to disrupt proceedings. But since we all know that teabaggers are paragons of virtue who would NEVAR stoop to such tactics, it must be SEIU thugs pretending to be crazy cloud-shouters or sumfin.
house vote just crossed 216…
sorry, just a vote as to whether they’ll vote? ODD.
First they proposed miniscule changes to my shitty, expensive health insurance, and I said nothing, because my health insurance sucked. Then they proposed vanishingly modest improvements to unemployment benefits, and because I had a crappy job already, I said nothing. Then they decided to tinker at the edges of student loan policy, and because my kid’s still in high school, I said nothing. Then they came for me, and I was like, “what?” and they were like, “dude, right?” and I was like, “oh shit, no way,” and because of some reason, there was nobody to be like “hey, um, that’s not cool” for me.
THE REVOLUTION IS HERE! To arms, comrades!
QUOTH THE RAVEN, “NEVARMOAR!”
WOLVERINES!!!eleventy!
I am neither a Gaddis or a Gavin. But you already knew that. I’m just an overpaid carpenter who enjoys the site and pipes up every once in a while.
Cheers!
Hats off for the polari reference
Polari Bible project.
I’ve got a new post up with both Temple Grandin and furries, in case anyone’s kicking around looking for something to look at.
I stand corrected,,,,
No you don’t. There were some kids throwing rocks at a barricade and some rumors of an IRA sniper in the area (never proven), and one report of a member of the IRA firing a pistol at the troops but not until after the first protester had already been shot. The protest itself was overwhelmingly peaceful and the people killed were all unarmed. Many shot in the back or the back of the head. And no British soldiers were even injured. To say the protest was “hardly peaceful” is utter bullshit.
Therefore, it is entirely reasonable for ME-gan to claim that Dhimmicraps are evil and dishonest and corrupt and full of shady shadiness and double-no-good. I mean, the memo may well be fake – but that it seems so believable to ME-gan means that all of ME-gan’s prejudices against lie-beral phaggortzes are totes reaffirmed.
Ah. So this is a return to the “The story about my opponents was completely false, but the fact that I believed it is proof of their moral baseness rather than of my own gullibility” riposte.
At last S.C. understands.
Try a dip in the ocean, Smut. The water’s fine!
~
Mangos are all very well but I’m not getting out of my hugbox.
i’m not gonna judge the doc.fix until i learn whether it will be an infix or a postfix
Watching Karl Rove lose his mind and start holding up charts and shouting “Address mah points libs!” is nothing short of sweet sweet nectar. Makes it all worth while.
James Clyburn just said that they’re “still short”
stupak on teevee now to announce his yes vote
BOOKMARK IT, SOMEBODY!!!!
I second that! With my REAL pseudonym.
With my REAL pseudonym.
Damp niches promote fungal growth. FYI. Also.
The itching is fierce, but the red patches make me look like a leopard!
i’m not gonna judge the doc.fix until i learn whether it will be an infix or a postfix
Reverse Polish Notation is the Gleiwitz Incident of Hewlett-Packard Fascism.
Gavin’s frenetic fugue of footnotes for polyglots: Genius!
The haters are right. It does feel like some sort of special club initiation when you can let the voices coalesce into fleetingly recognizable motifs.
That is, of course, central to the point.
As with all art forms, arguing that other people shouldn’t enjoy it is missing the point. What’s next? Blue notes and syncopation are ruining jazz?
Shorter Lance: “I do not understand this sophisticated and complex prose what has been tossed with what I suspect is high non-randomness onto my virtual Internet page thingie. Because I do not understand it, I do not find it amusing. Because I do not find it amusing, this means it is bad.”
Shorter shorter: “There is a Megan McArdle hatched every minute.”
Shorter shorter shorter: “What in the fuck do all these fucking people think is so fucking funny?”
I’m sorry, but the only art form I recognize is poop.
the only art form I recognize is poop.
There was a great exhibit this morning. But I flushed, so you missed it.
Philistine!
Gavin’s frenetic fugue of footnotes for polyglots: Genius!
Gentlemen, you can’t make puns and wordplay here! This is a humour blog!
Apparently the bill has passed. I’ve been more excited passing a stool, but at least the wingnuts will say funny things.
Things I hate about modern discourse (part 32,746):
1. The phrase “name checking”
2. The need to, um, insert the same placeholders into our, like, writing that we, um, strive to remove from our talking. Ya gotta love it!
Yes, but the choice is either to intersperse one’s writing with um, hesitations to signify that the contents of one’s blog-posts are, um, provisional and half-thought-out, the equivalent of um the hesitations as one thinks at the same time as speaking; or to finish thinking before blogging, and to check the resulting thoughts for coherency and compatibility with reality.
My Inner Sick Fuck wants to see MOAR oh so clever, hyper-referential, hyper-discursive, 719-dimensional prose here, not less.
Reference basement amateur performance-art bands from the 1970s that were only ever witnessed by nine people – all of whom were too baked to even remember the show!
Quote unpublished manuscripts from reclusive 1920s Dadaist poets whose very existence is apocryphal!
Klingon-Etruscan translinguistic paranomasia!
Zen-Koan-formatted Nietzschean fart-jokes!
Bring it on, man!
ESOTERICA, FUCK YEAH!!!
A+ WOULD READ AGAIN
NEEDS MOAR BORGES