Kickner Kuhnspiracy
Jeffrey T. Kuhner, The Washington Times:
Impeach the president?
The ‘Slaughter Solution’ would violate the Constitution
- The “stain resistant” pots who are viciously blaxploiting ordinary Americans in a shoeshine-slathering hot tar rampage are unprecedented in literally being pot-shaped holes punched in the fabric of space through which oozes the pure, sentient blackness of Hell. Yet flabbergastingly, in their demented fury to de-cook your food, these pots seek to anally rape into law the totalitarian Hitler-Marxism of the kettle-blackness libel.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
1 Title explicitly cf. while shaded a bit with cf., only accidentally cf., and pieces of kite, the materials you never catch-uh.
:Þε∞ Whutzip? No, I’ve got over that Thomas Kuhn phase. I was having too many observations that didn’t fit into his theory.
My new tag since then is LaOcoön, ’cause it’s right in the series of those LaReference names, and also ’cause it’s a Trojan Horse filled with the serpents of diacriticism. Because do you know who will pronounce it right, even after seeing the diacritical perched right there trying to be friends with them, like in coöperation? You know who, you know who?
Noöne, that’s who. Bahaha! Goodbye, I must sustain myself with the flesh of the Chocodile.
Not only did I get off the boat but I read the comments and now Gavin I can never forgive you.
The Moonies who comment their are evil and very very stupid. I now know what it must have felt like to live in Germany in the ’30’s.
There not their. My grammar must be correct for the coming revolution.
Also it’s spelled “Moönies”.
The coming revolution will be supported and televised by FOX and will be between rightwing terrorists and progressives standing up for the establishment. Ironic innit.
Yes Smut but I don’t know how to make that little sideways colon above the second O. At least that’s what your moms said.
Yes Smut but I don’t know how to make that little sideways colon do that thing it does. At least that’s what your moms said.
[This second version is funnier, please delete first version Gavin]
You cut-&paste from someone else’s little sideways colon. At least that’s what SHUT UP SMUT
Umlauts are the sideways colons of linguistic fascism.
Nice to have those Fall links.
Damn, you’re like the Coast Guard, getting off the boat so much!
Damn, you’re like the Coast Guard, getting off the boat so much!
He’s a regular Jacques Cousteau!
I was Frist twice at the same time. This never happened before in the history of Sadly No! I was interested, interested, then not so interested and then interested again.
B4, did you know how to spell that name or did you have to Google it?
[Warning: It is 6 A.M., I have not slept yet, I toast you B4, AWS, and Smut Clyde with this vodka tonic. “To those with no lives . . . Cheers!”]
{clink}
(college students beating on apartment doors across the hall at 3 am here.)
Hmm. West coast. Are they pissed off or are they looking for booze? Ask them and I shall await your reply.
o/t, but it was teh gey that caused the Srebrenica massacre
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2010/mar/19/gay-dutch-soldiers-srebrenica
Well, that was two hours ago. It woke me up. After that, insomnia takes hold.
B4, did you know how to spell that name or did you have to Google it?
Cousteau? I used to love watching his show when I was a golden-haired moppet!
Hmm. West coast. Are they pissed off or are they looking for booze? Ask them and I shall await your reply.
I think they are looking to start an orgy!
What do you think you are going to do, jump on a plane, find out where his dorm is, mooch some booze, fly back and come to bed? You really are an idiot gocart!
I used to love watching his show when I was a golden-haired moppet!
Did you flap your arms around wildly like a spastic when he came on?
Oh, wait, moppet. My mistake.
Did you flap your arms around wildly like a spastic when he came on?
Oh, wait, moppet. My mistake.
At first I took this to be a question about Jacques Cousteau LARPing, but then I read the second sentence.
And then the seven-headed whöre of Babylön will rise up and inaugurate her öwn reality tv show. Henceförth and yea, verily, the Chick pamphlets will rain fröm heaven like licörice öut öf a twö-licörice train cöllisiön, and wöe untö yöu that blaspheme and södomize and the Mark of Ham and Ëggs sayeths that ?bämäcarëër will ruin the wages öf the starvling säplings that hail the almighty Umlaut.
Sköäl.
And pass the älmönds, bitter thöugh they bë.
Yäy! Very Lee!
In retrospect, arming their soldiers with only wooden shoes and large wheels of gouda was probably a mistake also.
Uhh. I’m pretty sure that first belief was not mistaken. And Russia isn’t exactly threatening to invade Europe either.
You know what is also good (notice I didn’t say gouda) for cutting up cheese? A Swiss army knife. The corkscrew is also perfect for wine. Why didn’t the Dutch get the Swiss involved. Pfft, the Dutch are so stupid.
We need better Shorters, Gav, else we’re giving them hit.
We. Can’t. Always. Trust. The. Shorter.™
Wait, this is important. Where can you still get Chocodiles?
@Kill Surf City
On the Chbanks of the Chnile, silly.
(Nearly said in the Cheverglades, but those are Challigators.)
In Australia of course you can find the biggest ones in the world: The mighty salt water Chocodile
Damn, the “Slaughter Solution” wasn’t what I’d hoped.
MY COFFEE DONE GOT COLD THIS IS AGAINST THE CONSTITUTION AND WE NEED TO GET BACK TO THE GOOD OL’ DAYS WHEN RONALD REAGAN RAN THE CONFEDERACY
Chocodile Hunter!
PENIS
Challagators?
~
The mighty saltwater chocodile.
Chall-I-gators. My bad.
It’s difficult spelling when you’re both evil, brain-dead AND dead.
I meant THREE reasons. Evil, brain-dead, depressed about my lawsuit and dead. Oh, wait. (Screw it.)
Challigators: They feed on Chnascar Drivers in the Cheverglades.
The Chevroglades?
Where do bad cars go when they die?
~
Cocoadiles?
Sirius,
I believe a safari is in order. Who’s with me?
Morning Penis Reference!
PENIS.
Look: they’re all Chreptiles, and that’s good enuf for Chme.
Not getting out of the boat. But I am curious how something Congress does is an impeachable offense for a President.
How are the mangoes, anyway?
Isn’t challagator that chocolate-covered twisty Jewish bread?
We iz in ur Shrubaneezas
decohesioning ur trupes
So as of this morning Pelosi hasn’t managed to lineup 216 votes, despite the best efforts of that botox soaked witch. Eric Cantor this morning said he “feels good” abut the upcoming vote, and said Pelosi is counting her chickens before they are hatched, as it were.
Are you feeling nervous yet, liberals? Is there a little voice in the back of your head that says this might not pass, after all? Don’t worry. If you admit it now perhaps i will not gloat too much when this goes down in flames on C-SPAN, and Obama has to come out and admit total defeat!
Buktmarcked.
~
“that botox soaked witch”
So how long have you hated women? Did this start before or after you started taking it up the ass?
And the best part is I’ve never demonstrated I’m full of shit or anything!
Leave us all thank “One Day Until the End of ObamaCare” for bringing it to our attention that certain individuals are engaged in unhatched-chicken-counting.
Bookmarks come from eggs, apparently.
Here is how it will go down tomorrow. First, your public option and your death panels will be voted on, and they’ll fail. You’ll be disappointed, but “no big deal, change can’t come overnight” will be your comment. Insurance company regulations will go down in flames, and a little nervousness will creep in. The usual suspects will fall into the usual categories. As the day drags on, health insurance subsidies, student loan reform, and (much to your horror) the Medicaid expansion will be too close to call.
My advice at this point to you will be to go to bed. You will wake up to a world where the poor still die from common colds and the Great Liberal Freakout will be on.
Bookmark this, liberals, as this is exactly how it is going to go down. You will be wonder how the hell I was able to call this.
Huh. I never noticed before how Pavement’s Slanted & Enchanted was influenced by The Fall.
Thanks, Gavin!
.
Kuhner’s first sentence:
The very pillars! Under assault!!
Yow!!!
The very pillars! Under assault!!
I too am a pillar assault.
THE LITERAL PILLARS OF OUR DEMOCRACY ARE LITERALLY UNDER ASSAULT!!!
Pillars are the Jewish-owned shop windows of architectural fascism.
So this is the Great Liberal Freakout. I did wonder.
The Republicans are right, there’s no way we’d pass an Obamacare bill.
You know, apart from the one the same Representatives already passed.
I don’t know about you, but I’m totally freaked.
Brown must look good on you, eh?
Am I the only one who initially read “Kuhnspiracy” as “Kihnspiracy”, and thought of The Greg Kihn Band?
Wait, maybe you shouldn’t answer that.
The “Slaughter” rhetoric has its intended result by the raging TeaTards:
THROWIN’ BRICKS THROUGH WINDERS IS TOTALLY CONSTUSHALL, UNLIKE THE DEMON-CRAPS WITH ALL THEIR DAMN ‘VOTING’ AND ‘MAJORITIES’ AND OTHER UN-CONSTITUTIONAL ANTI-CONFEDERACY SEDITION
ANY LEGISLATION NOT GETTING 60 VOTES BY RONALD REAGAN IS UNCONSTUSHALL.
So this is the Great Liberal Freakout. I did wonder.
Somehow, I expected more sex and drugs.
THROWIN’ BRICKS THROUGH WINDERS IS TOTALLY CONSTUSHALL
The Foundling Fathers overthrew the British tyranny of the Kaiser by throwing bricks through his window at Pearl Harbor.
THROWIN’ BRICKS THROUGH WINDERS IS TOTALLY CONSTUSHALL
Damn right! Way to water that tree of liberty, guys!
Granddad! You stole that from that movie “Friday”!
Brick thrown through window in Slaughter’s Falls office
fertilizing the tree of liberty with the night-crystals of liberty!
Those selfsame bricks are being thrown by the challigators and chocodiles hiding in our very midst.
When not throwing bricks, they are chewing away at the very literal pillars of our Chococracy.
Even now, they are drawing up their nefarious schemes on their tasty choc-boards, plotting for the resurgence of the Confecterate States of America!!!! If you don’t believe me, just ask Michelle Bachman, who’s even brain-deader than me!
Gosh, when we told the teabaggers that Rep. Slaughter should be “slaughtered”, we had no idea they would resort to … violence!
By the way, we wanted to reiterate to Obama that our favorite random Shakespeare quote is “Beware the Ides of March”. Not that we are in any way suggesting that someone assassinate the President, wink wink.
Linnaeus:
If you check the links, you’ll see that Gavin referenced it in the footnotes too.
So … no.
.
.
The Confederate Wankee is calling Obamacare treason and wondering if people are buying more guns for rioting.
Et tu, Brutes?
Anna Nicole Sith: … they are chewing away at the very literal pillars of our Chococracy.
Which makes Count Chocula very sad.
.
Thanks, JGabriel. I totally missed that link. Damn small font!
Which makes Count Chocula very sad.
Him and Cocoa Chanel both.
I certainly hope the teabaggers will riot–it’s about time that conservatives were on the receiving end of tear gas and riot batons for a change.
more proof that teabaggers are morons.
Enter This Into The Omnilogue Of Stupidity!
Any legislation not completely written by Focus on the Family, the Heritage Foundation, and the Audio-Animatronic Ayn Rand Ride from the Randland Resort & Smoking Paradise and presented to Congress by a TeaTard dressed in Revolutionary Era garb is UN-CONSTUSHALL.
Audio-Animatronic Ayn Rand Ride from the Randland
Resort & Smoking ParadiseCombination Brothel and Abattoirfiqqst for more disgustingness
–it’s about time that conservatives were on the receiving end of tear gas and riot batons for a change.
And even worse, on the receiving end of GOBMENT BENFITZ.
Gub’mint cheese makes the best omelets. 😉
Has anyone everthrown tantrums like this after losing an election?
Especially right after they stole one?
Bitter Scribe – they throw tantrums even after they win.
I’m not qualified to say whether any other bunch has ever acted like these idjits, not being much of a history buff, but this really is quite a spectacle and I’m glad it’s getting videoed for posterity.
B-b-but Senator Brown! Stinging rebuke! Didn’t you listen to Massachusetts?! One senate seat switching sides counts eleventy brazillion times more than the GOP getting crushed in 2008. And the fact that they’re currently as popular as contracting some loathsome flesh-eating STD. Also.
Re-defenestration of bricks is the Redistributive Reparations of Liberal Glazierism.
wouldn’t that be transfenestration or possibly enfenestration?
Re-defenestration of bricks is the Redistributive Reparations of Liberal Glazierism.
Kristallvormittag.
Alas, I come not to praise Count Chocula, but to Frankenberry him.
(Anybody got a spare pair of ears they can lend me? I can have them back to you by Monday.)
I think that Pelosi already has the votes lined up, but that she’s not going to tip her hand by how many. The number of reps who’ve already “I wasn’t going to do this, but I reached deep into my own heart to wrench a yes vote out of it” in the last two days shows me that the bandwagon is about to leave the garage and the seats on it are being filled. The neocon-teatards are trying to maintain the suspense, because hey, anything could happen in the tournament. I expect a surprise defection from the R-side. And by R-side I mean their side not our side and also R as in Release the Kraken!
Gavin, what ever you’re taking, I’d like to try it. That is, unless it’s beets or creamed corn or lima beans.
Just because he’s posting it in every thread he can find; My own re-post!
Are you feeling nervous yet, liberals? Is there a little voice in the back of your head that says this might not pass, after all?
Oh thank Darwin Troofus said the above; he get’s EVERYTHING wrong! So “Obamacare” is about to pass!
Bookmarked!
Incidentally, that projection is really getting out of hand now, Oh-never-to-return-again liar. That little voice? Only insane violent right wingers like you hear such voices, y’know…
WIN.
I goes wherever I wants, kthxbai.
P.S. Anyone seen Johnny Depp?
~
some 40 grown men strain under the weight of a massive vagina
I officially deny that that is DKW’s mom.
.
.
.
It’s Actor’s.
Had to get out of the boat to see how Congress passing HCR made it an impeachable offense. Sorry as I am that I did, here’s the money quote:
So Unprecedented! Unheard-of!! Illegal! And! Unconstitutional!
High crime!1!! Misdemeanor!!!
Yawn. Good luck with that, pubbies.
Ray Harryhausen is the Willis O’Brien of stop-motion fascism!
Happily, Ray is still with us, according to the Wikiwakiwoo.
i have seen johnny depp, quite recently. he drops his kids off at school like a regular guy. a regular guy with a driver, but a regular guy sort of.
what confuses me is this: johnny depp, lead singer of influential band mark e. smith and the kihn/sith, has just released an album called “the slaughter solution”? first track is called “throw my out the window you botox soaked whore”? and he’s done this in a Lacanian context?
i need to keep drinking pot.
Pillars are the Jewish-owned shop windows of architectural fascism.
I tried to bring down society but I attacked the pilasters by mistake.
What are pilasters, anyway? I thought they were a kind of flower.
They’re followed by two smaller vagina litters.
I imagine a “litter of vaginas” as something like that scene in a Jim Woodring comic where Frank’s pupshaw spits out a swarm of miniature pupshaws. But if ‘litter’ is the correct collective term, then fine.
Poor Tw00fie, he knows in his heart that his sad, orange Boehner is no match for our mighty liberal Weiner.
It would open Mr. Obama, as well as key congressional leaders such as Mrs. Pelosi, to impeachment.
This article is currently #1 in the Google search for “congressional leader impeachment”.
Wackyweedia is not sure whether Pelosi et al. are actually eligible for impeachment by the CONSTIDUSHON:
Happily, Ray is still with us, according to the Wikiwakiwoo.
Ray Harryhausen is one of my heroes. Pushing 90 and I bet it’d still take a dozen sword-swingin’ skeletons to knock him down.
something like that scene in a Jim Woodring comic where Frank’s pupshaw spits out a swarm of miniature pupshaws.
Woodring is another one of my heroes. Few people with such challenges as he has make them work so nicely as a career.
obPOOP: POOP
As any fule kno, Ronald Searle was also 90 recently and should be one of anyone’s heroes.
Having read that THC is not water-soluble, I once tried distilling pot. The resulting brackish-looking stuff didn’t seem to pack a buzz that was any different that regular drinking, but it did result in a nastier hangover.
Next time I’ll just bake some damn brownies.
Ronald Searle was also 90 recently and should be one of anyone’s heroes.
I forgot to send flowers chiz chiz chiz
Ok, so the bill passes – without the Slaughter rule, by the way.
Fine.
I’m a middle class wage earner. My health care insurance is through my employer. It is good insurance.
How exactly do I benefit here? I can see my taxes go up, my employer is pressured to drop my insurance, my medical care gets crappier, and the country spends another trillion dollars it doesn’t have.
Or maybe I’m just not being snarky enough.
Wannabe Snark said,
I like pie!
Good start!
Damn, the “Slaughter Solution” wasn’t what I’d hoped.
Before the bill becomes a law, the Senators must come down this hallway on the conveyor belt towards the rotating knives…Was that not in line with your plans?
Has anyone everthrown tantrums like this after losing an election?
I think you could describe 1861-1865 as a worse temper tantrum caused by losing an election.
Helping Smut
“i need to keep drinking pot.”
You know what’s good, pot tea with a touch of honey. Seriously.
Before the bill becomes a law, the Senators must come down this hallway on the conveyor belt towards the rotating knives…Was that not in line with your plans?
MY plans did not include soundproofing in the last few yards of the corridor.
I forgot to send flowers chiz chiz chiz
Hommage to Nigel Molesworth.
‘Has anyone everthrown tantrums like this after losing an election?”
I dunno. Do preschools have class elections? I can see a 2-year-old getting REALLY pissed she didn’t make treasurer.
Kuhner has a point. That needs to be addressed by the deluded supporters of this horrible totalitarian administration. Before it’s too late. You libs just don’t understand. That writing everything in short sentences like this. Makes whatever fallacious horseshit you use to defend your thesis. Very, VERY powerful, because of all the extra drama. Just ask Starship Captian James T. Kirk.
KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!
Impeach Obama for the actions of Congress? Obviously, Kuhner failed 8th Grade Civics.
@jim:
“the deluded supporters of this horrible totalitarian administration”
You may have been sleeping, but Bush and Cheney are no longer in the White House.
That said, I believe that you’ve limned the core of their political base quite succinctly. Well played, sir!
I didn’t know that anybody here knew about the politburo facade behind “Kicker.”
You know what would open Obama to impeachment? A Republican majority in the House. That’s pretty much it. Conviction would require a Republican supermajority. If they had that, and if my aunt had balls, they’d be able to impeach him, and she’d be my uncle.
Those selfsame bricks are being thrown by the challigators and chocodiles hiding in our very midst.
I know this is kind of late, but I always preferred chocaimans.