Jonah Goldberg Summarized

Everything you need to know about Jonah Goldberg in one quicky post:

Murtha [Jonah Goldberg]

In an interview with CNN he stays on message. There’s no reason necessarily to think we needed troops in Iraq to get Zarqawi and “we cannot win this.” Video and transcript here.

UPDATE: A reader writes: “Murtha actually said “we cannot win this militarily”.  His qualification is crucial, and it’s dishonest to ignore that.”

Fair point, though I hardly think I was being dishonest in pointing people to the video and transcript.

Posted at 4:48 PM

Or put another way, “I hardly think I was dishonest for giving people a false impression and hoping they wouldn’t check my sources.”


Comments: 21


I thought this was D, Pantload personified (he’s Francis):

Francis: Today’s my birthday and my [controlling mother] says I can have anything I want.
Pee-wee: Good for you and your [controlling mother].
Francis: So guess what I want.
Pee-wee: A new brain?
Francis: No. Your bike!


Sure, Jonah made a mistake but only because it didn’t, strictly speaking, correspond to reality. Jonah caught up on another “narrowly factual objection.”


Whaaa…???!!!?? Goldberg writing outright lies in a deliberate, dishonest attempt to distort Congressman Murtha’s statement??? No way. Surely you jest…



Jonah is such a hack. The official conservatarian line is that Murtha is “gleeful” when he says this. As long as it is bad news, and Murtha is ‘gleeful’ about it, then it does not matter what the truth is.


I think Jonah doesn’t actually understand what “dishonest” means. Unsurprising for today’s conservatives.


Do you remember when Jonah posted something making fun of some kids, with a later retraction along the lines of:

“Upon further reading, it turns out those kids were retarded. Um, sorry.”

He’s a fucking pratfall waiting to happen.

What’s that? He’s published in the L.A. Times? Aiyeeee!


“We cannot win this” is, sadly, a more accurate description of the situation in Iraq today. So what will it be, Sunni strongman or Shia theocracy aligned with Iran? You decide!


Yup that’s the doughypants load in abstract, nice catch.


So what will it be, Sunni strongman or Shia theocracy aligned with Iran? You decide!

Unfortunately, I’ll take widening regional conflict for a hundred, Pat…


Worst. President. Ever.

So guess what I want… Your bike!

If you want a bike and you pray for God to give you one… well, that kind of religion doesn’t work.

But if you steal a bike and ask God for forgiveness… hey, that kind of religion works!


This reminds me of that raddled old fortune teller, Donald Rumsfeld, who told us we’d find WMD in the basement of the Alamo…


Do you guys ever dissect Mallard Fillmore? I’ve been trying to decide which is more irrelevant, Jonah or Mallard Filmore. I mean, Jonah is just one among hundreds of pathetic blow-hole pundits suffering from chronic Conservative Honesty Impairment. But Mallard Fillmore is the conservative Doonesbury, filling a very important niche for conservatives who like to read the funnies but will go ballistic if the quotas for conservative representation is not met. (And you have to admire the Mallard Fillmore guy’s persistence. His chances of writing something witty or drawing worth a shit are slim, but he never gives up.)

So I would have to give Mallard Fillmore props over Jonah Goldberg.

Now, Prickly City is a whole other kettle of fish. Jonah Goldberg is more relevant than Prickly City. I hope he uses that on the jacket of his next book.

Johan Goldberg:

“… more relevant than Prickly City.” – Hoosier X

I like it! Complimenting people makes me feel all warm inside.


Jonah Goldberg is also funnier than Mallard Fillmore. There is a certain entertainment value to watching someone talk out of their ass.


I read Prickly City, it doesn’t suck nearly as bad as either Mallard Filmore or Jonah Goldberg, and is the diet Coke of evil while they are the concentrated arsenical mine tailings of evil.


Hell, skull-splitting, dry-heaving migraines are funnier than Mallard Filmore. Sex for Food has been terrible news since 2001 or so when it first came out, and he only discovers how bad it is after Haditha?


Mallard Filmore isn’t even worth dissecting. At least Day by Day is hilariously bad and stereotyped and thus good fodder for mockery. Filmore is like an elephant’s graveyard of funny. It’s where conservative humour goes to die.


Mallard Fillmore:
Ugly, badly drawn, not funny. Hell, I read every funny in the paper, including Rex Morgan, but I skip over the lying duck.

Day by Day:
Also not funny, but the dood gets points for being pretty damn good at drawing slutty, hot chix.

Just Sayin’



Jonah Goldberg:
“I hardly think…”


Well, oddly, uber-lefty site Alternet did the exact same thing as Goldberg in slapping this headline on the link to the NYT story: Murtha: “We Cannot Win This…It Is A Civil War…Al Qaeda Is A Small Part Of This”….


From this:

“Fair point, though I hardly think I was being dishonest in pointing people to the video and transcript.” — Jonah Goldberg

We can extract this :

“I was being dishonest” — Jonah Goldberg

Or even this :

“I hardly think” — Jonah Goldberg

Fun game!


It still utterly kills me that the LA Times dumped Robert Scheer for this grease stain. Kills me.


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