Does that mean I might be able to find a job?

Sweet!

Well, thank goodness!

Here’s to our new socialist pair-o-dice!

She is filled with moron particles.

The ad betrays the way bureaucrats, drawn to central planning (namely because they get to do the planning), think. Plus, it shows why we’re being lobbied so heavily about the Census forms, which most people fill out as a matter of course. Fill out the Census, and get something for yourself, even if it’s a bus you don’t intend to ride.

Yes, because counting people to figure out where services are needed most is elitist and faggy. Much more reliable is the GOP method of ladling out pork to favored business interests in states with majority-insane populations. The beauty of the GOP way is that insane people never seem to mind that they’re footing the bill for the class elites in their neck of the (back)woods at their own personal expense…because they’re insane, and those local rich guys agree with the way the loot is divvied up, and they’re smart guys, so it must be a good way to do it.

Does she actually believe that businesses don’t use census data to get information about their prospective markets?

Don’t conservatives usually claim to be Constitutional originalists?

I don’t mind these loons refusing to be counted to the extent it keeps their hands out of Uncle Sucker’s wallet, but it does kind of suck for the non-insane people in those states.

Don’t conservatives usually claim to be Constitutional originalists?

Doesn’t stop them from railing on about how we need to privitize the Post Office, one of the few things the constitution explicitly spells out is something that the federal government should probably do.

It’s sure taken them a while.

Americans just don’t realize how threatening information is.

Americans just don’t realize how threatening information is.

Just yesterday, the 200th and 217th digits of pi mugged me at knife-point.

Have the Cornerites found out Dora is in on the plot too?

Listen Children! Absolute cleanliness is Godliness! Balanced food for body-mind-soul-spirit is our medicine! We can no longer live half-slave, half-free, mindlessly filling out census forms while blind to the Moral ABC of All-One-God-Faith! For we’re ALL-ONE OR NONE! ALL-ONE! ALL-ONE!

Have the Cornerites found out Dora is in on the plot too?

She’s a FUCKIN’ FOREIGNER! Lives in a god-damned jungle with a monkey!

THIS SHALL NOT STAND!

Doesn’t stop them from railing on about how we need to privitize the Post Office, one of the few things the constitution explicitly spells out is something that the federal government should probably do.

Or from having raging hard-ons(hards-on?) for the permanent army it spells out the federal government shouldn’t do. But wouldn’t you think anyone with two braincells to rub together would eventually figure out that hey, we aren’t really originalists if we think the government should do these unconstitutional things and shouldn’t do these constitutional ones? No, wait, I see the flaw in my logic there, forget I asked.

The beauty of the GOP way is that insane people never seem to mind that they’re footing the bill for the class elites in their neck of the (back)woods at their own personal expense…because they’re insane, and those local rich guys agree with the way the loot is divvied up, and they’re smart guys, so it must be a good way to do it.

The yay-hoos aren’t footing the bill, though- it’s people like myself who live in the elitist, un-American socialest (sic) states who send money to their squalid little banana-republican backwaters.

Fuck the South, indeed.

If operated as a business, Metro would know how many buses it needs without the census

???

because, uh, red blooded american businesses don’t need no stinkin’ information???

or maybe it was badgers

If operated as a business, Metro would know how many buses it needs without the census

Trick question: if it operated as a business, it would get out of the mass transportation field and would therefore need no buses.

The best part is how she thinks that private businesses simply just know through the magic of TEH MARKETZ what the demand is for their products and services. Unlike a lot of these wingnuts, I actually work for a for-profit company, and I use government data all the freakin’ time to help forecast demand, because I really don’t want to waste money trying to sell Widget A to people who can only afford Widget B. So many of these idiots have no real idea of how the free enterprise system that they worship actually functions in practice.

Dr. Bronner skrev :

> ALL-ONE!

I like Bronner’s liquid peppermint soap, especially in summertime.

I think of the “Essene” exhortations on the label as being sorta like the
late, lamented “Chex Press” reading material that was once “published”
on the backs of the boxes of Ralston Chex breakfast cereals.

Isn’t the Independent Women’s Forum Phyllis Schlafly’s old outfit?

I always associated IWF with Christina Hoff Sommers.

For we’re ALL-ONE OR NONE! ALL-ONE! ALL-ONE!

If we’re all one, why do they make such a production of counting us with this census stuff?

There’s a socialist hiding under every rock!

Saw the pic at the top and thought “what, yet another humorless dildo thread?”

I am all for conservative avoidance of the census- I would love to see Bachmann, in particular, lose her seat due to paranoia.

Is she suggesting that countries like the USSR and China exceeded the U.S. in statistics gathering on their population? ‘Cause, that’s pretty un-American.

I would love to see Bachmann, in particular, lose her seat

That would be sad in a way – it’s probably her best feature.

Maybe, juuuuuuuuust maybe, the bus company would use the census data to figure out their market penetration (given her persona, perhaps she be less familiar with that topic, in a general way) as well as where the people live in order to run their business better. But, hey, she’s writing for NRO, do you believe she has time to think?

I’ve got to admit, I kind of like Michelle Bachmann for being able to so regularly plumb the depths of crazy in the U.S. House.

That would be sad in a way – it’s probably her best feature.

Buttmen for Bachmann.

B^4 – heh.

Not nice enough to get me to vote for her, but if she’s going to be standing there anyway we might as well make the most of the view.

It sometimes seems to me that a significant quantity of thorazine, added to the water supply in Republican voting districts, might admirably improve the state of political discourse in the US.

It’s like they took the “OMG, Janet Reno’s jackbooted thugs are planning to kick in your front door” paranoia from the early Clinton era and turned it up to eleven. I’m sure the ethnic background of the current president doesn’t have anything to do with that.

Anything that right wingers don’t like is against the Constitution. It need not be the actually written and signed “Constitution”, but the Constitution of their hearts.

The best part is how she thinks that private businesses simply just know through the magic of TEH MARKETZ what the demand is for their products and services.

It’s very simple. In a census-free world, a bus company run like a business would buy one bus and drive it around to see where people were waiting for a bus. It would pick up people until the bus was full, then run out and buy another bus, and repeat the process until it had enough buses for all the people who wanted one. Who needs government intervention when you can find out all this information just by driving around?

Just yesterday, the 200th and 217th digits of pi mugged me at knife-point.

e was standing in the corner, pointing and laughing.

So let me see if I understand, central planning bad because SOSHULISM and CORRUPT POWERMAD BEEROCRAPS!!!one1! Afterall, INVISIBLE HAND!!! SUPPLY AND DEMAND so FUCK YOU CENSUS.

Holy figgity fuck. We’re talking about buses. Transit. It’s fucking mass transit that she thinks should NEVER BE CENTRALLY PLANNED.

Sweet IPU, may her glaring pinkness remain invisibly hidden, I have got to learn to stay in the boat.

e was standing in the corner, pointing and laughing.

Acting all natural-like. i pretended nothing was happening.

What the free market demands is more randomly directed, unpredictably timed buses. That would work.

You’re either on the boat or not on the boat.

Hmm… let’s see: Representation in Congress (the House, specifically) is determined by the Constitutionally mandated census.

Wingnuts and ‘baggers in droves refuse to turn in their forms, making it look like America’s “red state” populations all plummeted — and thus they get less representation. Plus, a great many programs are determined by population numbers, and so their ‘socialist’ gov’t kickbacks also drop like stones down a dark well.

In short, by refusing to participate in the census, they’re limiting their own power and influence. A self-correcting system, in other words. I’m not seeing the downside…

You know who else got the trains to run on time?

e was standing in the corner, pointing and laughing.

We’ll see what’s so funny when there’s a log up e’s ass.

You know who else got the trains to run on time?

Veiled D-KW’s mom multiple orgasm reference?

You’re either on the boat or not on the boat.

I would’ve been on the boat, but someone gave my ticket to T-Pain.

ONOES, maths puns. This is all going to break down into sniggering about the Euler Identity.

This is all going to break down into sniggering about the Euler Identity.

My old hockey league had a team that wore Edmonton uniforms with their name, “Eulers,” proudly displayed. My team wore No-Stars colors with “Soylent Green.”

This is all going to break down into sniggering about the Euler Identity.

No, we’ve already passed peak Euler.

Srsly though – there’s a list of things even hardcore conservadorks agree that gubmint should be centrally planning – fire fighting, road building, massive standing armies with the ability to drive cruise missiles through specific windows a thousand miles away. I always believed that transit was on that list. It’s transit. It’s. It’s. ARRGGGHHHHHHH!!11!one1 Teh Stupid MAKES WANGCHUCK MAD!11!!one!!

What the free market demands is more randomly directed, unpredictably timed buses.

Ah! That explains the operating standards of the old Houston MTA.

“It need not be the actually written and signed “Constitution”, but the Constitution of their hearts.”

You know how some people have their “mornin’ constitutional” after a cup of coffee? That’s the constitution they are referencing. Although bowel movement conservatives tend to prefer tea.

I always believed that transit was on that list.

But, but… you know what kind of people use mass transit…

You know, why is the gubmint doing the census anyways. Wouldn’t that be a whole lot more efficient if we just let teh Market determine how much representation each district gets in Congress? I mean, d’uh – it’s called supply and demand.

i swear to god, i think the republican party has been holding back on us and is only now unleashing their vast reserves of teh stupid

And I don’t understand why so many conservatives are religious. I mean really, one d00d created teh whole of everything? Talk about centrally planning TO THE MAX. A good Hayekian would scoff at the very idea of G-d. No wait, all enlightened people who know to avoid Teh Road 2 Surfdoom are also by definition AWESOME PATRIOTS. Therefore, they should be taking up arms to fight against teh religiositudeness.

Don’t conservatives usually claim to be Constitutional originalists?

If you’re talking three-fifths of a President and no wimmin’ votin’, yes, they are strict Constitutional literalists. Your right to state facts in public, where teabaggers’ tender white ears might hear such blasphemies against their God-given beliefs, not so much.

Could we goad them into burning their census forms in public, like the war protesters of old burning their draft cards? Because watching Rep. Bachmann’s job literally go up in smoke would be sooooooo coooooool!

Constitution?!?! Holy central planning! We gotta get rid of that noise ASAP – after all, if teh Market can’t provide you with governance and whatnot, then it shouldn’t be provided. INVISBLE HAND!!11!one!

“‘If we don’t know how many people there are, we won’t know how many buses we need.’ Yes, you will….If operated as a business, Metro would know how many buses it needs without the census.”

You’re all missing the point. GOD will tell them!

And I don’t understand why so many conservatives are religious.

Religion isn’t a complex set of beliefs or an unbending moral code for most of these guys. To them, religion is just a license to be an asshole operating under the protection of an all-powerful god.

I’m really trying to picture how a market driven local transit company could function.

First, they would only run particular, clearly profitable routes

Second, they would never have enough buses, and would instead raise prices so that each bus was full, but that lots of people could not afford transit

Fuck any routes that serve poor people

Buses would run much less often

Yes, you could run a profitable bus company, but it wouldn’t be an effective transit system for a city. It would cherry pick profitable routes, and not give a shit about the externalities of traffic and hardship caused by the loss of other routes, or reduced service of buses.

OT
GOAT BLOWING!!!

Unlike a lot of these wingnuts, I actually work for a for-profit company, and I use government data all the freakin’ time to help forecast demand, because I really don’t want to waste money trying to sell Widget A to people who can only afford Widget B.

This. I work for a Large Medical Corporation that owns and operates hospitals and medical clinics. We HAVE to know who is where so we can get a sense of what proportion of services to offer. If we’re opening a clinic in, say, a middle-class elderly community, we’ve got to have enough cardiologists, orthopedists, and ophthalmologists. If it’s a younger population, say immediately post-college, you have a smaller clinic and you tilt the balance a little more towards psychiatry and ob/gyn. The group in between needs extra pediatricians. Lower-income areas need a bigger ER/trauma unit (though they don’t always get it). A lot of this comes from the Census. What, does she think we guess blindly? Throw darts?

What, does she think we guess blindly? Throw darts?

Hey, it works for writing columns at NRO!

Yes, you could run a profitable bus company, but it wouldn’t be an effective transit system for a city. It would cherry pick profitable routes, and not give a shit about the externalities of traffic and hardship caused by the loss of other routes, or reduced service of buses.

Yes, and if a route became unprofitable, it’d be shut down without warning or recourse. You live near the J40 line and you depend on the bus to get to work? Too bad; fuck you. Find another job or move.

But, but… you know what kind of people use mass transit…

HITLERS!

Well it certainly is enraging to see a god damn wingnut welfare recipient working for a Scaife/Coors/Mellon/Rich Fuck charity publication lecturing others about the virtues of the free market.

Yes, NRO, please show us how the free market works and dissolve into bankruptcy. Hays can find out the utility of buses as she trudges to the minimum wage work that awaits her outside the warm cocoon of professional movement conservativism.

These fucking tools.

It must be said: This thread is so much better than the other one.

And I love the idea of encouraging these folks to not fill out their census forms. I hope it catches on — is their anything we can do to encourage the teabaggers to get on board? If Glen Beck endorsed the idea, we’d be golden, but I’m not sure that Bachmann will get the same results. We can hope…

@Jennifer

“majority-insane populations”

That’s a really fine phrase and lots of people should steal it.

Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-daa
Da-da-da-DA-DAH
BACHMANN!!!

OT – In case you haven’t heard, Maoist maniacs want your salt!!!

Capital idea- goad the wackos to avoid the census! They can really be revolutionaries! Fight the power! Rise up against the oppressors! Cast off the chains off the central planning overlords! Rise up from their knees and stop teabagging! Change their voting district into something wonderful and useful! Self-gerrymandering- a new concept on US politics! Who needs ACORN? We have TEABAG!

It must be said: This thread is so much better than the other one.

I was going to say pretty much that.

Plenty of win in here.

Could we goad them into burning their census forms in public, like the war protesters of old burning their draft cards? Because watching Rep. Bachmann’s job literally go up in smoke would be sooooooo coooooool!

We really need to subtly troll this into the wingnut meme-o-rator. I can think of little that would be more awesome.

I’m just wondering what the idea is behind this. The only vaguely worthwhile endgame for them sticking their nuts in the woodchipper like this is to scream foul at the end of it all as a ploy to discredit the whole census. I just don’t see that working out for them, though. It’s just fucking weird.

I’m all for letting them try, though. Burn, baby, burn.

You don’t have to fill out the Census. (Not in the Constitution, y’know.) And you don’ have to pay no taxes or nuthin’, neither.

Crazy Shelly sez so.

Her “Don’t fill out the census” rant is elsewhere. And once she realized what she was saying, & remembered that the very existence of her gerrymandered district is in peril, she copped out on that too.

“e was standing in the corner, pointing and laughing.”

Acting irrationally, was e?

i thought i saw somethng, but must have imagined it.

Obama invented the census, too? Sweet! He’s like a one-man inventing machine of things that have existed for decades!

Okay, libs, imagine this: what if your body was controlled by a single, all-powerful (at least, to you) entity? Oh, and it consumes about 1/5 of your energy, and if it takes almost any damage at all, you die.

Would that be, like a brain or something? My second guess is a very large, sensitive, and vindictive tapeworm.

if it takes almost any damage at all, you die

Unless you’re a right-wing ideologue, in which case you & your relatives collect wing-nut welfare forever.

Hey, now. Leave DKW’s mom out of this.

Oh this is going to be so clever. I can hardly wait until the punchline is revealed. I’m almost shaking with anticipation. I bet it will cause me to rethink my whole belief system.

I have nothing funny to add.

I’m not the greatest supporter of the Colonialist Insurgent Government in Washington, but I’ll wager it can, and has, taken rather more punishment in its history than “almost any at all” without “dying.” Little things like Civil Wars, Depressions and World Wars.

This phonetic initials chap seems to be talking out of his arse.

It will be hysterical if wingnuts are statistically underrepresented in the Census due to large numbers of them refusing to participate. Then, when the redistricting of seats (particularly at the State legislative level) reduces their representation, they can be vindicated as the Census conspiracy bears its rotten fruit. They’ll have been proved right! And they’ll be disenfranchised by their own stupidity. It’s win-win.

So we’re not supposed to cooperate with the census because the gubmint might have information on where we live, how many people we have at home, and what our income is?

And….they can’t buy this information even if we skip the form?

Capital idea- goad the wackos to avoid the census!

Instant illegal aliens!

The Teabaggers are a bunch of wimps!

THIS is how you protest government!

In 2000 I remember there were advocates for the poor and homeless (who are usually undercounted) who wanted to used some statistical methods to get more accurate figures. RWers were claiming liberals wanted to “guess” at the numbers and bygum, the Constitution called for counting everybody and that’s what it mean, COUNTING. The Census, done properly had to count everybody! In 2010 they claim that actually counting the people is a Commie-Nazi-Socialist-Klingon-Cylon plot?

Is there a single rightwinger that is not some combination of evil-lying-stupid???

Is there a single rightwinger that is not some combination of evil-lying-stupid???

Sure. Dick Cheney is pure evil, Glen Beck is pure liar, and Sarah Palin is pure stupid.

Plus, think of what will happen when they don’t fill out the race portion. It’ll be head-a-splode time when the new demographics of the nation are revealed.

Dick Cheney is pure evil, Glen Beck is pure liar, and Sarah Palin is pure stupid.

But Cheney’s lied, Beck’s not smart, and Palin is pretty evil too.

Plus, think of what will happen when they don’t fill out the race portion. It’ll be head-a-splode time when the new demographics of the nation are revealed.

Somewhere–I’m going to pull a Goldberg and say that I can’t be bothered to find where because I’m busy–one of the wingnuts advocates filling in “American” for the race portion. About a quarter of me finds that to be an interesting idea, in part because the existing racial categories are so preposterous. The other three-quarters finds it chilling because you just *know* that, down the line, the righties are going to start suggesting that Certain People don’t really qualify as American.

Plus the whole idea of forging a new racial identity is creepy; it’d give a rather unpleasant flavor to concepts like “un-American” or “the American people.”

So we’re not supposed to cooperate with the census because the gubmint might have information on where we live, how many people we have at home, and what our income is?

Just got the form yesterday. It doesn’t ask about income.

And….they can’t buy this information even if we skip the form?

But that’s capitalism! If they buy it through the Free Market(tm), it’s automatically not creepy anymore. Businesses would never do anything wrong because it would hurt their bottom line, you see.

Also, in typical Goldberg fashion, I found the wingnut mentioned in my last post in less time than it took me to protest that I didn’t have time to do it. It’s Mark Krikorian, who gets creepier by the day.

What if your body was controlled by a single, all-powerful (at least, to you) entity? Oh, and it consumes about 1/5 of your energy, and if it takes almost any damage at all, you die.

Dear J.R.F.

Thank you for your submission, but we are already planning to publish a piece like that by Philip K. Dick. We look forward to not hearing from your in the future.

Very truly yours,
Amazing Science Monthly

In 2000 I remember there were advocates for the poor and homeless (who are usually undercounted) who wanted to used some statistical methods to get more accurate figures. RWers were claiming liberals wanted to “guess” at the numbers and bygum, the Constitution called for counting everybody and that’s what it mean, COUNTING.

To be fair, they also protested against the “long form,” which asked a whole lot of (fairly intrusive) questions. The idea of scrapping the race question, while not entirely crazy, is another example of the willful blindness of conservatives. I presume that if they ever succeeded, they’d start arguing that there wasn’t any evidence for racial disparities in anything (because of course they’d deliberately failed to collect that evidence). It’s something like the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (I think it was), which believes that if it can’t see you, you can’t see it and are therefore no threat.

It’s something like the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (I think it was), which believes that if it can’t see you, you can’t see it and are therefore no threat.

It was the RBBBOT, and it was even more insidious: if you couldn’t see it, it couldn’t see you as prey.

But that’s capitalism! If they buy it through the Free Market(tm), it’s automatically not creepy anymore.

In which case, they can get my video selections, my library borrowings, and my preference to speed a little on the Thruway!

But it’s not intrusive at all, nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnoooooooooooo!

But Cheney’s lied, Beck’s not smart, and Palin is pretty evil too.

I’m distinguishing cause and effect. Cheney lied in the service of evil, it’s impossible to tell what Beck knows because he lies every time he opens his mouth, and Palin’s evil is the result of her being too dumb to understand…anything.

You know who was socialist? The Romans, that’s who. (And the Han Chinese, but we all know Asiatics tend to the left.)

So See No Evil, Hear No Evil, And Evil?

It was the RBBBOT, and it was even more insidious: if you couldn’t see it, it couldn’t see you as prey.

That was it, damnit. I did say somewhere up there that I was using Jonah Goldberg’s research methods, didn’t I? Uh…I got it exactly backwards, but my point remains, which is central to my point. Or something.

In which case, they can get my video selections, my library borrowings, and my preference to speed a little on the Thruway!

Of course they can, and rightly so. After all, don’t you remember who *else* liked to speed on major highways? Don’t you remember who *made* a national network of major highways SPECIFICALLY DESIGNED FOR HIGH-SPEED TRAVEL IN CARS?

But it’s not intrusive at all, nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnoooooooooooo!

It’s the Executive Acting In Time Of War. Commander-In-Chief of the Armed Forces and all that. Not intrusive, but part of your Duty As An American

Don’t you remember who *made* a national network of major highways SPECIFICALLY DESIGNED FOR HIGH-SPEED TRAVEL IN CARS?

Eisenhower?

This. I work for a Large Medical Corporation that owns and operates hospitals and medical clinics. We HAVE to know who is where so we can get a sense of what proportion of services to offer. If we’re opening a clinic in, say, a middle-class elderly community, we’ve got to have enough cardiologists, orthopedists, and ophthalmologists.

Balanced food for body-mind-soul-spirit is our medicine!

For facial packs, scalp & soothing body rub, add dash on bath towel in sink of hot water. Wring out. Lay over face and scalp. Massage with fingertips.

Acting all natural-like. i pretended nothing was happening.

Like it was all imaginary.

Balanced food for body-mind-soul-spirit is our medicine!

Exceptions eternally? ABSOLUTE NONE!

What is so confusing or problematic (besides profits) about helping people less fortunate. Life is a series of chances and yet those with the long straw seem to want to take short straws to make theirs the longest straw possible.

Veiled? Yes.

What if your body was controlled by a single, all-powerful (at least, to you) entity? Oh, and it consumes about 1/5 of your energy, and if it takes almost any damage at all, you die.

My thetan itches.

We need buses to transport productive people to the camps.

My thetan itches.

Well, maybe you thould thratch it til ith thor.

“The secret purpose of the Census is for the government to get enough information to enable it to end our free-market, capitalist economy and replace it with a centrally planned, socialist economy.”

I got hired by the Census Bureau this morning. EX-cellent!!!! I had no idea my new job would be this much fun. Tremble with fear, ye capitalist pig-dogs.

If operated as a business, Metro would know how many buses it needs without the census.”

You’re all missing the point. GOD will tell them!

Seriously, because a REAL transit business would use the census data, like thousands upon thousands of businesses already do. Maybe this for-profit transportation business also shouldn’t use government-funded roads? JESUS will provide!

I’m really trying to picture how a market driven local transit company could function.

In most places it would probably look like a taxi company, or a charter bus company, or some mixture of the two.

So we’re not supposed to cooperate with the census because the gubmint might have information on where we live, how many people we have at home, and what our income is?

And….they can’t buy this information even if we skip the form?

Buy it? Heck, I have to make sure I send it to them every year by mid-April.

Charl Hayes “thought” process:

“Just because I’m paranoid doesn’t mean that we aren’t becoming socialist. Which reminds me; note to self: Look up ‘Socialism'”.

Charl Hayes “thought” process

There’s the problem right there.

If I believed in God, I might be tempted to think that some of these peoples’ continued existence might an effront to her.

And the fuckers breed!

Don’t you remember who *made* a national network of major highways SPECIFICALLY DESIGNED FOR HIGH-SPEED TRAVEL IN CARS?

Eisenhower?

But it was not his original idea.

Eisenhower?

But it was not his original idea.

How dare you denigrate a great American, calling his a copycat! Why do you hate America so?

The camera has caught Charlotte Hays in a Not Sure if Want moment.

Questions, why is a picture of Dwight Shrute heading this thread? And where are his glasses?

census ?? censme ?? no, censyou !!

nutcases have no ability to sens, therefore, red states will have a lower self-identified population count than actual population, therefore less people representing them, and all the other things that go with it, a win-win for everyone, except the sentient beings living among the censless

These people do realize that if they don’t fill out their forms a Census worker will be sent to their house, right? Plus, sending out Census workers increases the cost of the Census accordingly, meaning it will need even more of their precious tax dollars.

Why must the stupid burn?