To Mencken, With Love
… because you of all people will appreciate this. So I’m at a late-winter/early-spring house party in the outer outer Mission and my No. 1 son, Sandy, all of 10, is out in the tiny backyard scaring up frogs or whatnot, and a couple folks go out for a smoke, one of them being his godfather, and Sandy gets it in his head to pop out from a bush and scare him, the godfather, with the line: ‘I’m the ghost of Barry Bonds!’
A top 10 all-time quote from Sandy, and oddly ironic, because after all the fussing and fighting of two to three to four or so years ago, really, who and what and where is Barry Bonds?
He’s a ghost. I laughed and cried — but not really. I just had another beer and kind of processed the whole cosmic joke of it all.
PS Sammy Sosa is a white woman.
ARRRRRRR!!!!
http://www.cristgaming.com/pirate.swf
That was childish
What can I say? I’m an 8-year-old at heart.
Go to bed! Or read this and weep:
http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2010/03/15/100315fa_fact_cassidy
Because it really, really sucks and is bad reporting and if you care about those sorts of things, you will weep.
Seriously, that is the worst piece of doggerel I have read in quite some time, and I would caution even species of birds I really detest not to shit on it, out of a sense of fair play.
Also, bats.
So, everything’s hunky dory again because the banks are making lots of money and unemployment is at a manageable 10%, and if it wasn’t for those damn auto bailouts WE’D BE MAKING MONEY!!!
Feh. Made it through the first page, I’ll take your word for the rest.
And now I will go to bed. Interview with yet another temp agency tomorrow, although I’ve already been told that I’m probably overqualified for the job they’re looking at for me. Double Feh.
It’s shorthand for “I’m the ghost of Barry Bonds’ Hall of Fame hopes.”
Awesome story.
The ghost of Baseball Present.
.
ARRRRRRR!!!!
The “You are a idiot” for a new generation.
You guys are so lucky. Down here in L.A. we have another whole season before our kids can start telling jokes like that about Manny.
It looks like somebody’s glued Geithner’s feet and hands to the wheel. Who could resist givin’ it a spin?
Hey CA,
For a while I bounced around unemployed and overqualified. I started lying on my resume in the sort of opposite way you’re supposed to. Give that a shot if you get desperate.
Hey, CA, hang in there. And yeah, dumbing down your resume may help. I know exactly what you are going through. One of the reasons people don’t higher us “over-qualified” types is that they fear once the economy picks up, we will scoot. I think many employed folks don’t understand (or can’t allow themselves to understand) just how bad the job market is. Finding a way to communicate the fact that you are looking for work that will give you safe haven for the 18-24 months it will take the economy to really pick back up may be a helpful gambit. That and finding places you really want to work and getting a foot in the door anyway possible.
And begging. Lots of that.
CA, if you dumb it down enough you could get a job at worldnet daily or Renew America. I hear Brietbart needs a new “investigative journalist.”
😉
Barry Bonds is the jew of steroid fascism.
BREAKING! (Flashing Drudge Light)
Todd Palin uses evil socialist lubrication.
http://www.themudflats.net/2010/03/05/sarahs-socialist-snowmachine/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+TheMudflats+%28The+Mudflats%29
“The world’s most famous snowmobile racer in the history of the world, former almost-one-term Alaskan First Dude Todd Palin has lots of sponsors. What company wouldn’t want to have their logo slapped on the side of the most famous piece of snow machinery on the planet? Mystik Lubricants sure does. But, it looks like the Palins may be padding their pockets from a surprising source. It turns out that Mystik Lubricants is owned by… wait for it … Citgo. Yes, that same Citgo that’s owned by Venezuela. Socialist Venezuela. Socialist, Hugo Chavez lovin’, Venezuela.”
Barry Bonds is the jew of steroid fascism.
Funny – he doesn’t look jewish.
I hear Brietbart needs a new “investigative journalist.
Is it just me or is Hanna Giles a cutie?
Is it just me or is Hanna Giles a cutie?
*ralph*
Is it just me or is Hanna Giles a cutie?
*ralph*
She’s a cuticle. Push her down with a wooden stick.
*ralph*
Wait! When I say “cute” I’m assuming she’s also “mute”.
*quick subject change*
Glenn Greenwald is a real smart guy.
*ralph*
Wait! When I say “cute” I’m assuming she’s also “mute”.
Well, aside from her general odiousness, she’s not uncute. But she pretty much looks like any 20-year-old coed I see on campus every day. I’ll bet she even goes to class in Juicy sweatpants.
Then again, I like my ladies curvy and, like, smart, so I may be a little harsh.
Barry Bonds? He some famous soccer player or sumpin?
juicy sweatpants
Eeeewwwwww
I’m the ghost of your RSS feed!
Glue mascot.
so I may be a little harsh.
No, you’re not. I was just being superficial. 🙂
Barry Bonds? He some famous soccer player or sumpin?
No, he’s a PR manager for the Palin’s. He created the art of propping up you kids in front of cameras in order to deflect the insane amount of negative attention you may be receiving.
Glue mascot.
I thought they were government issued securities to pay for The One’s socialest agender.
Glue mascot.
I thought he was a debt securities spokesdude.
Sumbitch. DKW’s was much, much better!
DKW’s was much, much better!
That’s what your mom said.
Wow, DKW is butter because he’s on toast! or is that on a roll… Hmm. is that a cat over ther…
Speaking of toast (??), Mark Thiessen’s a moran.
PENIS.
Funny – he doesn’t look jewish.
Neither did Rod Carew.
It turns out that Mystik Lubricants is owned by… wait for it … Citgo. Yes, that same Citgo that’s owned by Venezuela. Socialist Venezuela. Socialist, Hugo Chavez lovin’, Venezuela
OH LAWDY LAWDY his snow car done got the SOCIALIST COOTIES! He gunna have to take it out back an’ SHOOT IT like AH did wi’ mah ’88 Ford I put SHIT-GO gASS in last year!
PENIS.
St Peter’s of Peterborough, indeed!
Yeah, well, my kid created an entirely new species of dinosaur. And he’s five. So I win.
🙂
Okay … sorry for the blogwhoring. It’s just that, as a Royals fan, I can’t talk about baseball without wanting to weep like a little girl who just lost her dolly (the toy, not the thing that helps you carry heavy objects). They’ve had so many poor decisions and so much bad juju since ’85, they just can’t seem to get back in gear. And it just never seems to end.
Sure, they get some good players like Greinke every once in a while, but those are few and far between. Most of their high draft picks flame out, and most of the free agents they get are washed-up and/or overpaid.
It’s like the Red Sox* used to be … before they won and became the new, Yankee-like arrogant douche bags they are today.
(*This applies to the new-found Sox fans who are just bandwagon-jumping assfaces, not the original, from-the-area Sox fans, whose hate for the Yankess always made me view them as kindred spirits.)
t’s just that, as a Royals fan, I can’t talk about baseball without wanting to weep like a little girl
As a Yankees fan, I take pride in the idea that you think we’re “arrogant.” So I guess I am arrogant! Twenty*ahem*seven.
Greinke is amazing though. If only he didn’t hate himself so much.
Barry Bonds is the Bear Jew. The Ghost of Barry Bonds is like a skinnier man swallowed up by ‘roided Barry, as if he’s wearing an exoskeleton made of meat. Seriously, his hat size went up–what’s up with that? Did the muscles on his scalp get that much bigger? Does he have a scowl that can crack a walnut?
Is it just me or is Hanna Giles a cutie?
Esteev, don’t even THINK of contributing to her legal defense fund!
As a distinguished Navy
mancrustacean once said, “IT’S A TRAP!!”Izza TWAP!
Esteev, don’t even THINK of contributing to her legal defense fund!
Don’t worry Quadruple B, she belongs in jail, I would just like to greet her when she gets out.
Don’t worry Quadruple B, she belongs in jail, I would just like to greet her when she gets out.
Conjugal visits, my boy!
Fucking iPhone. Fucking WP.
Tried to say this earlier, when it was temporally topical but nooooooo!.
Juicy sweatpants
EEEeeeewwww!
Actually, it has nothing to do with the winning (except for 1980, thanks to that batting practice pitch Gossage served up to Brett — the first game I remember watching on TV). It instead has to do with a certain type of Yankees fan.
If someone is from, or lives near, NY, or grew up in the 1940s, or think Derek Jeter is just dreamy, then fine. They have a connection to the team, whether through pride of place, or through following their childhood idols/fapping material.
But about 90% of Yankees fans just root for the team because it wins. Those folks are nothing but bandwagon-jumping fucktards who don’t deserve an iota of respect with regards to their fandom. They have no connection to the team or the city, and they have nothing invested in that team winning or losing.
Because they have nothing invested, they’ll bail once the team stops winning.
But when the Yankees
are buying championshipsare winning, those types of fans tend to be mouthy, intolerable douche bags of the highest order since they know they won’t be around when the tables are turned.IMNSHO, that’s not being a fan. That’s just jumping on whatever is popular. (The same thing applies to Dallas Cowboy fans.) But I’m bitter about the economic inequities in baseball, and a bit of an asshole about it, so YMMV.
Regardless, you seem like good people, so I’m willing to give you a pass … even if you are one of those bandwagon-jumping fucktards.
🙂
But when the Yankees
are buying championshipsare winning,Ugh, this tired argument. You know, the players still gotta play, perform, show up (unlike the other NY team).
I’m not a BWJFT! I will say this, and I have before, the Yanks will be in trouble this year or next when they realize how freakin old they are.
Barry Bonds is the jew of steroid fascism.
Funny – he doesn’t look jewish.
That’s cuz his cup makes things look bigger
(veiled penis reference)
But about 90% of Yankees fans just root for the team because it wins. Those folks are nothing but bandwagon-jumping fucktards who don’t deserve an iota of respect with regards to their fandom. They have no connection to the team or the city, and they have nothing invested in that team winning or losing.
Hear hear! Mostly from Westchester, Jersey, and Connecticut, we should add.
The folks who sat thru the Horace Clarke era, they have my sympathies. The folks who panic because “OMG! SECOND?!?!?!?!?”?
Eh, not so much! The definition of a TROO NOO YAWKAH is the ability to, well, hear a manhole cover blow up and shout “Tails!”
Yankee fans would duck.
Sorry, I just couldn’t resist throwing in the “buying championships” line. 🙂
The Yankees are old because they’ve bought more talent then they’ve developed. But whereas some teams would take years to recover, the Yankees can easily just go out and get some younger players and be back in contention in a few years, if not just a single off season.
But a majority of teams can’t do that.
Yes, the Cards and Angels prove you don’t need to spend eleventy billion to win, while the Mets have proven you can spend eleventy billion and still suck (hope Beltran is happy with his paycheck, since he ain’t winning any championships). So I agree that having the biggest payroll doesn’t mean a team will automatically win the Series.
But teams like the Twins, Brewers, and others in small markets* are TOTALLY dependent upon their farm systems, or just getting lucky with some journeyman who has a banner year. For those teams, just a few bad draft picks can send them back years (see: The Royals).
It’s a fucked up system that, much like health care, has to be fixed at some point. It’s just not sustainable.
(* There is a difference between small payroll and small market. The Royals = Small Market, Small Payroll. The Marlins = Small Payroll, Huge Market [Miami]. Too often those get conflated. That is all …)
coffee —> keyboard
“It’s just that, as a Royals fan, I can’t talk about baseball without wanting to weep like a little girl who just lost her dolly (the toy, not the thing that helps you carry heavy objects). They’ve had so many poor decisions and so much bad juju since ‘85, they just can’t seem to get back in gear. And it just never seems to end.”
I’m an old geezer [61]. I discovered my love of baseball when I was 23. It was the Royals. So long ago that Piniella played outfield and Herzog managed the team. Brett was a rookie. The Royals were MY team until 1986 when I put down roots elsewhere. So I witnessed the playoffs against the Yankees, and the Championship.
Now here’s the cruel twist of fate: I put down my roots in Baltimore. I saw the tail-end of Orioles’ glory days. I was here for most of the Iron Man’s career. I’ve seen games in Memorial Stadium and in Camden Yards.
So imagine my suffering. I’m invested as a fan in the Royals and the Orioles.
Oh dear … my condolences.
Camden Yards is really nice — went to a game when I lived in DC. Boog’s, however, is overrated as far as bb
That was supposed to be: “Boog’s, however, is overrated as far as bbq goes.”
Obligatory “FYWP!”