The Most Boring Lone Wolf Terrorist EVAR
Posted on March 6th, 2010 by D. Aristophanes
Okay, I get that this John Patrick Bedell character is yet another example in a growing trend of white guy terrorism that the MSM won’t ever actually call terrorism.
But Dave Neiwert’s sensible commentary aside, I’m just finding it difficult to get all worked up about a guy whose manifesto went unnoticed because it’s the dullest thing ever written by any human being anywhere.
Then there’s this video, which criminal psychologists directly tasked with determining Bedell’s motives will no doubt spend the next few months making excuses for why they haven’t yet watched it all the way through, even though it’s less than six minutes long:
I’m not clicking on that. IT”S A TRAP!
It’s a trap to make you verrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry sleeeeeeeppppppppyyy
The communists at mises.org have much to answer for.
Just say no to fiat information currency.
BRING BACK THE INFORMATION GOLD STANDARD!!!!!
Stick men standing on top of blue and yellow information currency units are the Jews of Liberal Fascism
Once again, an engineer.
The video’d be way funnier if the “money units” were called “boners” instead.
Comment on his youtube page for this video:
This pussy started blasting at the Feds?! Sounds fishy
Hollister, California: famous for motorcycle rallies, haybalers, and now this guy.
The video’d be way funnier if the “money units” were called “boners” instead.
Make it so!
This pussy started blasting at the Feds?! Sounds fishy
Wait, what? Only real men shoot at cops? So that means… it was a conspiracy to make cop-killers look like pussies?
Oh, youtube. Never mind.
why do some of the stick men have more little blue poops under them than the other ones and why are some of the poop pellets yellow and also i don’t think there is a market for blue and yellow poop WORST BUSINESS PLAN EVER
Trouble following J—’s link? Try this one. It’s at the top of the page.
And, he was an engineering _student_., damnit. Not an engineer thank you very much.
btw does this guy qualify as ‘an hero’?
Calling this guy a “terrorist” is a real stretch. We need to be careful about overusing the word until it loses all meaning.
why do some of the stick men have more little blue poops under them than the other ones and why are some of the poop pellets yellow
You obviously didn’t make it through the presentation. The blue poops are information packets and the yellow poops are money, money money…
Best. Bloggingheads TV. Video. Ever.
Oh look, Esther is talking again.
why do some of the stick men have more little blue poops under them than the other ones and why are some of the poop pellets yellow
The stick men with the little blue poops were the ones who ate Smurfberry Crunch.
You obviously didn’t make it through the presentation. The blue poops are information packets and the yellow poops are money, money money…
No wonder the guy went nuts- he should have been pulling down some PHAT LEWT.
Badgers! And they’re dancing! Awww, so kewt.
At 3:55 the little stickmen are stoned out of their gourds.
Seeing as the Media are goading all those angry white guys with small penis’ to go out and shoot them some Feds, its understandable when the same media folks just whistle a little tune and look the other way when one of their acolytes goes batshit insane, and follows their well-intentioned advice.
k, I tried. Couldn’t finish. Did anyone WATCH THE WHOLE THING HEH INDEEDY? Does he say why blue POOPs are worth real money?
The blue poops are information packets and the yellow poops are money, money money…
I have GOT to start checking the product before I flush.
I made it through the whole video and I’m still awake. What do I win?
From his dull podcast
Guidance on mental health issues is indeed lacking.
The guy was a big pothead, too, which probably didn’t help his obvious looniness. Back when I used to alter my own consciousness, I can’t say I’d have understood what the fuck he’s talking about in this video, but I probably would have dug the really cool animation.
I made it through the whole video and I’m still awake. What do I win?
A whole lot of yellow POOPs.
I watched the video the whole way through. Trust me, Steve Jobs is watching and taking notes.
This tragedy could have been avoided if his father had procurred a hooker for his 18th birthday. (I mean the shooter, not Steve. Although.)
Oh, and welcome back Batman. Now, can the Lunch Lady make a comeback?
The guy was a big pothead…
REEFER MADNESS!!!!11!!!##1!
Wait, does this mean that we can’t use the tried-and-true “Well potheads never went crazy violent so it should be legalized” argument? Shit. One more reason to hate the fucker.
So he basically just ripped off my video for my upcoming single “Punctuating the Gedankenmuffin (butsothenanyway)”
Wait, does this mean that we can’t use the tried-and-true “Well potheads never went crazy violent so it should be legalized” argument?
Only if they can prove he was a pothead who went crazy rather than a crazy who smoked pot.
At least that’s my two poops worth.
i don’t think there is a market for blue and yellow poop
Little though I know about the confectionery trade in the US, still I suspect that you are wrong.
The pot probably did not contribute to his violence, but may have been a significant factor in his boringness.
Yeah, he’s *white*. Calling him a terrorist risks making the word loses its meaning of “brown person of a strange religion”.
Please don’t feed the Esther.
Yeah, he’s *white*. Calling him a terrorist risks making the word loses its meaning of “brown person of a strange religion”.
Don’t forget ecoterrorists, who may look just like you and me, but are every bit as dangerous and freedom-hating as the ordinary terrorists. Daywalkers, I believe they’re called.
The first thought I had while watching the video: Is this the love child of Paul Lynde and Alan Greenspan?
Three upsides to this:
1. No innocent bystanders were hurt.
2. Looks like the cops who were shot will be fine.
3. The resident proto-glibertarian has been AWFULLY FUCKING QUIET of late.
(Resident = In my house. Not on this blog.)
According to an article in Salon, the guy has a history of mental illness. He was bipolar. Pot doesn’t make people violent. It doesn’t prevent the kind of manic/psychotic episode that allows a person to think that they’re going to single-handedly blast their way into the Pentagon and take down the government either.
Angry manic people and machine guns are a bad combination no matter how you cut it.
Dear Mr. Future Right Wing Terrorists,
K-Street! The place you want to be flying planes into and waving 9MMs at is K-Street!
m,kay?
Shit, Arky, you’ve got glibertarians in your house? You’ve got to take care of that situation, those things breed! Not naturally, of course, but with some pot and Jaeger you could be looking at a colony in a few years.
Shit, Arky, you’ve got glibertarians in your house? You’ve got to take care of that situation, those things breed!
Yeah, Arky, you need to get them hooked on Bioshock and let the slowly creeping self-awareness knock the Rand out of them.
Angry manic people and machine guns are a bad combination no matter how you cut it.
Now that’s just terrorist talk.
The best way to eliminate glibertarians is to play “fetch” with a Robert A. Heinlein book and then lock the door before he comes back. Why not Ayn? Well, I don’t want to be the one responsible for you throwing your back out.
Oh, bless it. This is why I love you guys.* The first thing I thought when I saw this is “Why are those stick figures standing atop multi-colored poops?”
*Please don’t hold this against me. I’ve been drinking.
The “big government”-hating gunman acted alone. Nobody gave him any ideas.
Also, I think part of the reason the damn ideology has survived for so long is that it’s always had a sort of “outsider” feel to it, and that turns plenty of people onto it who don’t realize that it is dead-set against their own interests. If the glibbies want to present themselves as confused old men who write like power tool instruction manuals and might blow your face off with the handgun tucked down their waistband if you make any sudden movements around them, the better.
This was one of the funniest fucking things I’ve seen this week. With that bland, for-your-information voice and the relentless repetition of “information currency units.” Millions of people will watch this and they’ll all say, “The hell with it. I’ll go to the library.”
Oh look, Esther is talking again.
Yeah, but this recent incarnation of Esther must be fake. The spelling is too good, there is too little of the valley-girl-cum-tweet-speak and there have been no recent name- or location-drops to make us aware of her allegedly “elite” educational circumstances.
Of course, the idea of an Esther groupie taking up the mantle just makes me sad, but there you go.
Okay, I just watched, like, 10 seconds of the video. This dude thinks he invented the concept of information currency? Hokay.
Also at the Mercury News:
No word yet as to whether or not he was a member of the engineering community.
So. Every time you add a row of stick men, the price of the information goes up as if it became more valuable for some totally inexplicable reason. It’s all very orderly, I’ll give it that.
valley-girl-cum-tweet-speak
Interest. Website. Newsletter.
I’m just saying, when we try to politicize the actions of a single lone, disturbed man, we are literally doing exactly the same thing the other side is doing http://patterico.com/2010/03/04/pentagon-shooter-anti-bush-nut-case-and-911-truther/ . Say what you want to about Patterico, he’s a very smart guy. To be honest, next to Ezra and the guys at Balloonjuice he’s probably one of my favorite bloggers.
A Vallejo teenager allegedly shot himself in the testicles Thursday afternoon, police said.
He must have been feeling testy.
He must have been feeling testy
My favourite line from that very short news item is the last one:
D’uh – no shit Sherlock. I mean Detective Sherlock. d00d’s got a bullet hole in his scrotum.
Tell me of your home world, Esther.
A Vallejo teenager allegedly shot himself in the testicles Thursday afternoon, police said.
Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase “ball shot.”
Or, he was getting ready for spring training and wanted to throw out the first ball.
I got a whole sack of these things, really.
A Vallejo teenager allegedly shot himself in the testicles Thursday afternoon, police said.
I guess he figured he’d go after the low-hanging fruit?
ZOMFG!!!!
Does this raise terrorism to the level of performance art?
Oh, wait. I guess it already was.
C
First there were wingnuts, now this kid has a winged nut.
I’m calling 911, InsaneInTheCheneyBrain, ‘cos you are on fire!
I guess he figured he’d go after the low-hanging fruit?
Left or right? You have omitted the crucial details.
dear mr bedell,
i watched you video with interest, and it convinced me that capitalism could indeed be a viable framework for economic actvity, and i sincerely hope that somebody tries out your system of exchanging “products” for “money units” someday. however, i’m afraid you totally creep me out.
yours,
also creeperz me outz since stuff of my own is distributed through sourceforge. now i have terror nerd cootiez!
According to this article in the Huffington rag
Curiously, Bedell also proposed in 2004 that the Pentagon fund his own research on smart weapons. The 28-page proposal outlined his idea for DNA nanotechnology research that might “provide significant new capabilities for the Department of Defense and the individual warfighter.”
A font of bright and useful ideas.
http://roostershamblin.wordpress.com/ would you please spend a few minutes reading my blog about all things chicken. I have been raising more than 50 breeds of chickens 40 years.
I can’t wait until genetic weapons are available to the individual warfighter (read: lone-wolf aka terrorist)! That will be a brave new world. If I had socialized healthcare (or giant yearly bonuses) I would see someone about the ensuing depression.
See what I did there? I’m tying it all together!
Oh wait, I can’t believe I left out a testicle pun. Damnit!
“Yeah, Arky, you need to get them hooked on Bioshock and let the slowly creeping self-awareness knock the Rand out of them.”
I’ve never played the game but I listened to an argument between two friends about the cause of the destruction of the super-duper randian society in bioshock, one comment from the libertarian side of the argument was ‘it is implied in the game that the reason it collapsed was because someone wasn’t adhering to the rules of the society’, so I wouldn’t count on it curing any rand style personality disorders.
Oh
waitnuts, I can’t believe I left out a testicle pun. Damnit!That work for ya?
I had blue poop once when I ate my birthday party crepe paper.
That’s all.
Haven’t played the game either, but my understanding is that Rapture collapsed because of the proliferation of magical hands that shoot bees. Not sure we can draw any lessons from that, except for maybe something about gun control — especially if the guns shoot bees.
Hey Looch,
That’s exactly the sort of crack I was shooting for.
That one was just hanging out there.
Left or right? You have omitted the crucial details.
Only his tailor knows for sure.
“The resident proto-glibertarian has been AWFULLY FUCKING QUIET of late.”
Not to worry, “Esther” is filling in his shoes quite nicely.
“Esther” is filling in his shoes quite nicely.
With poop.
Not sure we can draw any lessons from that, except for maybe something about gun control — especially if the guns shoot bees.
If we outlaw bee shooters, only outlaws will be able to shoot bees.
Damned second handers, always trying to leech our
precious bodily fluidsproductivity.tt;dw (too tacky, didn’t watch)
I’ve heard on the Internets that this guy was also very concerned about the Secret Flying Masonic Power Orbs that brought down Building 7 (HTE CONTROLLED DEMOLITION STORY IS CIA MISINFO – WAEK UP SHEEPLEZ!).
“A Vallejo teenager allegedly shot himself in the testicles Thursday afternoon, police said.”
Follow the bouncing ball!
Also too, looks like someone got a little helping hand from the Liberal Gotcha Media during her recent debut on Leno as the next Henny Youngman.
LAUGHTRACKGATE!
You know, the more we rag on Palin the more sympathetic she gets. Letterman and Olberman have already helped prolong her career indefinitely. If we’re not careful, we’re going to chuckle our way right out of the progressive agenda and into President Mooseburger.
Keer ker keegle you cum-guzzling DemocRATs! May your gift’s religious belief hurt your basic need, you irredeemably odious nudist-lipses!
Aren’t all terrorists boring?
I mean, if’n you gotta blow shit up or open fire in a government building – i.e., make a federal case of it – just to get some fucking attention, then you must be boring the living fuck outta people.
Am I right?
.
Dear crazy dudes: I do not approve of you killing innocent people. I do not approve of you flying planes into buildings, firing randomly at government employees, or sending bombs through the mail to people you pretty much drew out of a hat. All of these things are bad things to do, and I do not approve.
But having said all of the above, I have only one request of you: if you absolutely have to do something really fucking nutty, please please please spare us your “manifesto”. You have nothing interesting, new or original to say. You are a confused and disturbed individual, not an intellectual or an original thinker. You don’t have “insights”. You’re not blowing the lid off shit. You are a creepy loser. If you must do your crazy shit, do it, kill yourself, and be done with it. Don’t bequeath a fucking boring-ass thesis to posterity, because nobody but other creepy losers will ever take the slightest interest in it.
Thanks in advance.
Don’t bequeath a fucking boring-ass thesis to posterity, because nobody but other creepy losers will ever take the slightest interest in it.
Which accounts for why this thread on S,N will hit at least 150 posts 🙂 (jk guys)
Bedell also proposed in 2004 that the Pentagon fund his own research on smart weapons. The 28-page proposal outlined his idea for DNA nanotechnology research
Drexel managed to leverage his magical-thinking nanotech bullshit into a profitable career of predicting singularities that are always just around the corner, so why not Bedell?
Esther is on a Rolle … rimshot!
Which accounts for why this thread on S,N will hit at least 150 posts 🙂 (jk guys)
I didn’t watch his shitty video, nor will I ever. This dude will never be anything to me but a joke who thankfully took no lives but his own. I will forget him by tomorrow morning. The only thing that could account for all the posts is:
1. Lack of new threads.
2. Feeling superior to creepy loser dudes is fun.
Nom de Plume – also little stickmen with yellow poops.
And money units. Many many money units.
My latest bloodsucking rock flinger just died immovably and with all the cannibalistic shit here a bloodsucking rock flinger story would make my week. What he had was a swollen wing and if I had the money he would have lived many more weeks. I’m sure you know a bloodsucking rock flinger needs endurance but I had no endurance left.
And, he was an engineering _student_., damnit. Not an engineer thank you very much.
That’s right. Actual engineers to live down only include Herbert Hoover, Osama bin Laden, and Joe Danelo.
Re Rapture: There’s no question in my mind that the collapse was intended as the inevitable result of the uber-randian society: once genetic enhancements and cheap weapons went on sale, everyone bought to keep up with the neighbors they didn’t trust. No morality other than money leads to damned fine fps.
literally doing exactly the same thing
Well, it’s good to know we’re not metaphorically doing an analogous thing. That would require the ability for abstract thinking, wouldn’t it?
Leno added a laugh track when she was on his show.
His way of being sympathetic I guess.
A Vallejo teenager allegedly shot himself in the testicles Thursday afternoon, police said.
Bet he won’t have the balls to do that again!
(can’t believe nobody used this one already)
Another Republican bites the dust.
I thought a Vallejo teen would have different orbs to shoot.
can you fix the james wolcott link in the sebroll please? its pissed me off one too many times. oh, and i love the site. it makes me laugh once or twice a week 😉
A Vallejo teenager allegedly shot himself in the testicles Thursday afternoon, police said.
I would call that “self critiquing”.
I would call that “self critiquing”.
Or at least give a new meaning to the word “go(-)nad.”
A Vallejo teenager allegedly shot himself in the testicles Thursday afternoon, police said.
It’s a sad state of affairs in this country when our health care crisis forces citizens to resort to crude self-vasectomy procedures.
We need a redistribution of information currency units to address this appalling situation!
Isn’t it likely that the kid in Vallejo watched the stickmen poop and wanted to end it all?
A Vallejo teenager allegedly shot himself in the testicles Thursday afternoon, police said.
Or at least prevent future generations from facing such despair.
Cut and paste PHAIL
Okay, information currency units may be a bit drab. But look how they can be spiced up.
From Wikipedia mirror site Bazpedia.
They’ve convinced me. We need to base our currency on something off intrinsic value. Not worthless paper, not shiny metals…I’m thinking human organs.
Of, too.
Esther is on a Rolle … rimshot!
Shut up, Fred Sanford, you old fish-eyed fool!
Another Republican bites the dust.
At this point, wouldn’t it be easier just to keep track of the Republicans who aren’t self-hating closet-cases?
Wow, so the dude basically discovered how pyramid schemes work! Awesome!
Pyramids made of marijuana bricks. Awesome and stinky!
One desired result of my effort is (will be) billions and billions of carefully cultivated, highly valuable cannabis plants growing throughout the United States with complete security of property.
Why didn’t he mail out seeds, or plant them everywhere instead of shooting people?
OT: I think it’s wise to assume that this little kerfuffle won’t amount to a pigeon-fart in a hurricane in the long run … but I sure hope I’m wrong.
Why didn’t he mail out seeds
If you substitute guns for seeds, that’s the plot of Chester Himes’s unfinished masterpiece Plan B.
You know guys, if you watch that vid
intentlystoned, you’ll eventually find something cooler to watch on youtube.ALSO, points to whoever can remember that other attack that happened
a really long time agoa few weeks ago involving a plane.A Vallejo teenager allegedly shot himself in the testicles Thursday afternoon
Now, is it “allegedly” becoz he may not have had testicles in the first place or becoz it “allegedly shot” is a hip new euphamism for jackin et?
I’m thinking human organs.
Ah, so our friend in Vallejo was involved in commerce.
“The gun is still outstanding, police said…”
Well, it WORKED, yeah. But don’t you think that sends the wrong message?
Ah, so our friend in Vallejo was involved in commerce.
Very short-sighted commerce. He took the profit from a pair of testicles instead of waiting for the dividend of millions of perm.
I suggest a modification of his schema wherein “Information Currency Units” are replaced by “Paranoia Quanta”. Thereby making all 9/11 conspiracy theorists incredibly wealthy and allowing them to go Galt and get the hell out of our faces.
Good lord (I’m going to adopt the turkey’s justification for this “information currency market” for a second):
The only justification for the existence of this so-called market is that the recipient of a file (aka “consumer”) is that they can prove they paid for it?????!!!!
So all thieves only receive value from the goods they steal when they own up and confess????
Lunatic doesn’t begin to describe this line of thinking. (I will leave aside for the moment that this is identical to the content industry’s thinking on DRM generally)
The communists at mises.org have much to answer for.
Not if their committee is invisible, they don’t.
I don’t know about you guys, but I’m much more interested in reading “Chicken Talk” than watching some glibby fruitloop’s XTube porno. Did you know that using crowing hens in your breeding program increases the chances of their offspring slicing you up like some sort of goddamn gallinaceous ninja?
Did you know that using crowing hens in your breeding program increases the chances of their offspring slicing you up like some sort of goddamn gallinaceous ninja?
Um, I didn’t.
Good to know, good to know. Uh, helpful.
Without ninja chickens how will we defend against the next terror attack or nut with a gun? What if there were a ticking time bomb in America’s basement(used for storing surplus baseballs, apple pies, and your mom) and it could only be found by ninja chickens? Why do you hate America?
like some sort of goddamn gallinaceous ninja
We were talking Turkey in the last thread. Please try and keep up.
I can’t believe I forgot to plug the chicken blogger in that blogroll amnesty thread.
(Thanks for the very nice things said, Djur.)
Every chicken has a secret ninja waiting to come out. I thought everyone knew that.
their offspring slicing you up like some sort of goddamn gallinaceous ninja
interest, newsletter, website….
Plus,
Gallinaceous Ninja is playing Weds night at the Double Door.
P00P.
A Vallejo teenager allegedly shot himself in the testicles Thursday afternoon, police said.
He’s a swinging single now!
Well, It’s the banality of evil, I guess.
“I suggest a modification of his schema wherein “Information Currency Units” are replaced by “Paranoia Quanta”. Thereby making all 9/11 conspiracy theorists incredibly wealthy and allowing them to go Galt and get the hell out of our faces.”
I concur, bundle the more stable conspiracies with the nuttier conspiracies into one giant Conspiricay Information Unit Default Swap product, insure it with AIG and sell it to the National Bank of Iceland at a “fair” market price. What could go wrong. Its gold Jerry.
No word yet as to whether or not he was a member of the engineering community.
watch it….
Yeah, watch what you say about engineers. Those guys are crazy, and they would kill you as soon as look at you.
Since we’re getting down to a trickle… why not observe Glennzilla pwning his commenters. This is why Glenn is pretty awesome. Gentlemen, BEHOLD!
Yeah, watch what you say about engineers. Those guys are crazy, and they would kill you as soon as look at you.
Or so we would have architects believe. Crazy? or cray-zee?
All that we are
Is all that you’d love to be
All that we know
Is hate and machinery
We’re engineers
Chevron Corp.’s Pensive French Angelfish Quiche
VINCI Free Mite Guacamole
Xoyplfairy Arla’s Fresh Mexican Cheese Porridge
Cardinal Reddish’s Amago Paprikash
American International Group, Inc.’s Paradise Fish Macaroni
Hon Hai Precision Industry Co. (Ltd.) Lemur Paprikash
Wassolprooqu Ivy’s Port Salut Cheese Pilaf
Mr. Kumkih Dusti’s Rhinoceros Ball
Sampling’s Crystal Quagga Marinade
Katlyn-Maybell Billet’s Table Cream Jambalaya
Toucrmouy Daniela’s Fiddler Crab Patty
Fiddler Crab Patty was a lovely lass, was she.
Thanks again for my nym, btw.
You’re welcome of course.
Toucrmouy Daniela’s Fiddler Crab Patty
I make mine with real fiddlers.
I make mine with real fiddlers.
Meaning, of course, the kind in this video (around 2:15):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TC2ZElZEAa4&NR=1
Bonus: this video contains the worst rap ever. Ever. Even the young cons couldn’t produce a rap this bad.
That was awful but I love that fiddler. His name is James Graseck. In the early 90s he used to play nearly every weekday morning at the top of the escalator leading up from the 7 train to Grand Central Terminal. I would give him some money once a week or so. I asked him if he’d play at my wedding but he was already booked. Then there was the hippie woman who sang a falsetto Amazing Grace over an over again day after fucking day on one of the balconies at GCT. Seriously, it sucked and for hours that’s all she sang. If anyone manages to find a video with her in it and links to it I’ll track you down and fuck you up.
HA!! Roy Ashburn is my sister’s state senator!!! Oh my, how we laughed and laughed….Seriously though, there were only two things Ashburn needed to do to have a good chance of moving on to another government position, and he blew both of them: never, ever vote to raise taxes, not even if it would save your mother’s life; and never be caught being gay. And of the two, raising taxes is probably the worst–his career in California ended last year when he was one of only 3 GOPers to end the legislative stalemate and vote to pass the budget.
He is an interesting variation on the usual outed GOPer, though. He has never actually denied being gay (when asked in the past, his response has been something on the lines of, “How is that your business?”), nor has he dragged some wretchedly stupid and literal-minded women into the spotlight to Stand By Her Man (he is divorced and never remarried).
He has defended his anti-gay votes by stating that his constituents are conservative, which is truer than anyone who has never spent time in Bakersfield can possibly imagine. It is a swath of pure, unadulterated downstate Oklahoma (the reason why “Okie” remains a fresh term for the denizens). I’m not saying this excuses him, by the way, but what appears to be simple “I got mine and now I’m pulling the ladder up after myself” may be a little (and just that: a *little*) more nuanced than that.
Or of course he could just be a hypocritical self-loathing gay boy. There’s always that.
Who can touch their nose with their tongue? No answers, no new post …
I can. If you count who I own and their noses as mine.
Republicans getting caught drunk outside of gay-bars is par for the course… I think family-values-anti-prostitution political grand-standers getting caught outside of whore houses is even better. In the latter cases there isn’t even a twinge of pity it’s just outright hilarity. I think we’re all fueled by the lulz at hypocrisy, right?
Also, possibly hilarious: the invention of pilates?!
Also to, I cannot touch my nose with my tongue. My wife can. Hers I mean. :-\
I could if I wanted, but I prefer to leave both the tongues and the noses in their respective specimen jars.
I cannot, since residents of my planet have taste and smell receptors in the same organ. But I can touch my light sensor with all of my reproductive members. Let me show you.
OK.
OK, OK, OK.
OK.
Whoa. Like, Keanu Whoa. WHOA.
Whoa-K.
I just googled “tifcas.” And TIFCAS.
Came up empty.
This is an acronymonic representation of “This Is Fucking Cool As Shit.”
How is this not a SFW acronym?
How?
Can we create an Internet Tradition here together, tonight?
Of course we can. We’re SadlyNauts.
Spread the TIFCAS.
“Who can touch their nose with their tongue? No answers, no new post …”
I can, if I push up on my tongue with one hand and down on my nose with the other. (Which is silly and gross, but you didn’t say no hands allowed…)
Dammit. Gallinaceous Ninja was going to be the name of my new band, but now you’ve RUINED IT FOREVER!
1. Shoot self in testicles
2. ?????
3. PROFIT!!!
no hands allowed
i never get to have any fun
Looks like we got a bunch of would-be Gene Simmonses here (except for Sheesh and Snorhagen).
Does the lowest flesh of the external divider between nostrils count as “nose”? It does? I WON! I’M SPECIAL!
I could have saved the guy a whole lot of writing AND possibly his life:
I have GOT to start checking the product before I flush.
If it’s yellow,
let it mellowinvest it in high-yield arbitraged securities.Several readers have asked my opinion of David Brooks’ latest column, in part because for the first time since publication, he mentions my book. I’m glad to see it there, but I don’t think that’s the part worth discussing.
That’s the lede, mind you. You KNOW who the author is.
I can touch my nose with my tongue, but that is a most inefficient way to access boogers.
Um, wasn’t this dude a registered Democrat?
Who can touch their nose with their tongue?
Okay, I did it, but now I can’t get my boot off my face.
This guy doesn’t seem to have understood that the point of currency is that it is fungible. He’s proposing creating a different unit of currency for every single bit of information on the internet. Now that’s what I call crazy.
Or so we would have architects believe. Crazy? or cray-zee?
Pshaw. I cut one as soon as he pulls out his RPN calculator…
The problem isn’t just that these “lone wolf” types aren’t acting without the tacit encouragement of many others, it’s that they’re referred to as lone wolves in the media, which, let’s just admit it, sounds kind of sexy. Even if they don’t actually own a long black leather coat, in their minds they’re wearing one, walking through the rain while swearing an oath to themselves to see this through, no matter what. They might as well be referred to as “killer studs”, which is probably how Pam Geller thinks of them late at night when she’s all alone.
And in other news, the shootings in Washington appear to be the work of a “lone hagfish” terrorist who…