Is there enough booze in the world to get those guys laid?

Sadly, no.

Let me jump in right here and say that B^4 is quite fetching in a cro-magnon way. And I’ve watched him maneuver deftly among people of the female persuasion.

proof of which is that both of his posts are way funnier than mine

Not the titles.

If I can’t get laid, then where’d this baby come from?

Rusty Shackleford said,

March 3, 2010 at 14:41

If I can’t get laid, then where’d this baby come from?

Not only can’t you get laid, but you stole a baby!?!?! Is there no end to your liberalness? I bet you plan to eat that baby….

Spontaneous generation?

Babies are only tasty in fetus form.

Dude. I’m not a dude. And I’ve never had a problem getting laid.

And last time I checked smart funny guys usually do ok with the ladeez.

Babies are only tasty in fetus form.

As the great cinema philosopher Fat Bastard once observed, they are the “Other, other white meat.”

If only I had figured out the patented up-on-the-backstroke technique. I’d be swimming in pussy then.

As it is, all I ever do anymore is your mom.

somehow we have always managed to avoid turning a video camera on ourselves after drinking countless shots of tequila and then posting the results on YouTube.

Harumph. Speak for yourself.

Althouse’s poor choice of video drunkblogging makes me worried about what she’ll film on her honeymoon.

Yeah, I went there.

Tsk tsk, Tintin. I’ll admit that I missed this in the original post, but one of Althouse’s commenters has you dead to rights:

Hey, wait a minute. I thought Althouse’s detractors accused her of swilling box wine. Smoking Loon clearly comes in 750ml bottles.

They should get their stories straight.

What an OUTRAGE! I demand that you formally apologize to Althouse immediately.

My guess is that, from the looks of him, Treacher’s last successful sexual liaison was a spot of unwelcomed frottage with a possibly-female passenger on a crowded Metro train.

No, no, TinTin! Treacher’s last sexual encounter, according to his own wild-eyed accusations, was with the backend of a Presidential Secret Service SUV!

Which he had to walk back when the vehicle in question turned out to be a low-level State Department functionary.

Let me jump in right here and say that B^4 is quite fetching in a cro-magnon way. And I’ve watched him maneuver deftly among people of the female persuasion.

Sounds like he’ll make an adequate wing man for me.

Smoking Loon clearly comes in 750ml bottles on YouTube with a glass of merlot.

FIXED!

So back in the 60s they traded away the right to use “fun”, cede all the drug abuse, sexual adventurism, individualism, making your own fun to the dirty fucking hippies in order to make a dark pact with Sauron to get a wholly unearned title of “seriousness” and grave logic wholly dependent on how they don’t do those things and wouldn’t be caught dead near them…in public or at least with a semblance of pride.

That was the ancient blood contract they forged with the media demons in exchange for 50+ years of hippie punching.

Now they want to do the same lazy half-assed job on “fun” and demand inclusion into that club too?

I’m sorry, senor, senorita, either you’re going to have to step up your game enough to top the most extreme person you deem liberal or you’re just going to have to go home empty-handed and pathetic. Or try adopting liberal values towards independence, moderate drug abuse, and consensual informed and mutually respectful sex…bwah, just kidding, you’re fucked, lush and sad sack.

I say, do any of you know anything definite about this chap, Kaus? Hear he’s planning to run against Boxer in California. I seem to remember hearing something rather unsavory about him.

Ann does have nice juicy saggy tits, I must say, like rotting mangoes.

I seem to remember hearing something rather unsavory about him.

He stars in Frank Capraphilic movies.

If you stare into her eyes long enough, you can see 3 out of the 9 levels of hell.

DISCLAIMER: I am not responsible for any demonic possessions that occur after staring into the Althaus. By clicking that link you waive all rights you had on Earth.

Wait that’s really her, not a photoshop?

Wait that’s really her, not a photoshop?

Yes.

HOT STUFF COMIN’ THRU!!

Best line from Roger Ailes:

Kausforsenate.com and kaus2010.com are unregistered, as is votegoat.com. The lack of preparation on Kaus’s part is stunning

Anyone thinking what I’m thinking?

If you stare into her eyes long enough, you can see 3 out of the 9 levels of hell.

You’d see all nine if it wasn’t daylight out and her nictitating membrane wasn’t lowered.

I see Ann got a new hairdo for her next big “party.”

Tintin of Sadly, No!
666 Traitors Row
French Fagistan
Dhimmiland

You scurrilous rapscallion,

The greatly esteemed and quite vivacious Professor Althouse was merely applying her enormous intellect towards an issue that concerns us all. The problem related to the obvious excessive alcohol consumption of the Chief Executive of These United States of America. Indeed, it is readily obvious to all and sundry that there can be no possible alternate excuse for the clear lapses in judgment he has displayed.

And yet, in response to this civic exercise, this favor granted upon us by the wonderful grande dame herself – you unleash a crude and callous attack upon her person. Although I expect nothing more than baseless ad hominem attacks from the likes of someone who must be either French or a fag, or possibly both – the sheer viciousness of your attack has crossed a line of behaviour with such velocity that it needs to be addressed.

Were you an honorable man, I would appeal to your sense of justice and be satisfied with swift and decisive action, followed by a timely retraction preventing the spread of the seed of your vicious rumour. However your actions have shown you to be untrustworthy and certain precautions, a prophylaxis say, must be taken. I am, however receptive to your needs. I understand that you do not wish to be seen as someone who flits between positions, who oscillates back and forth with repeated thrusts and jabs that are constantly pulled back. I propose to assist your movement, perhaps with some social lubrication of sorts – anything that will render it easier for you to penetrate back into the realm of acceptable behavior. For that purpose, I suggest a meeting where the two of us shall face off mano a mano. Perhaps at the lovely location featured in the photograph in your previous post.

Jim Treacher.

Anyone thinking what I’m thinking?

Uh, imma librul, I, like, don’t think and stuff.

Best line from Roger Ailes

I thought it was the subhead of his blog: Not The De Facto Leader of the GOP

I’m not offended by her drinking. I’m offended by her pairing of red wine with Cheetos. Everyone knows that a nice, grassy, sweet sauvignon blanc is the natural complement to the subtle saltiness of Cheetos.

Oh, I think Althouse’s drinking and posting videos of herself on YouTube should be heartily encouraged. Comedy gold.

socillates back and forth with repeated thrusts and jabs that are constantly pulled back.

Veilliant

Best line from Roger Ailes

This is the *good* Roger Ailes of the North, not the Wicked Ailes of the West.

Anyone thinking what I’m thinking?

Uh, imma librul, I, like, don’t think and stuff.

Well, um, “votegoat.com” seems like a natural URL for the Photoshopping skills of the S,N! crew, so if we pooled our money together, maybe returned a few deposit bottles, and whored ourselves out like Breitbart, we might scrape enough loose change for a few months worth of comedy subversions.

This is the *good* Roger Ailes of the North, not the Wicked Ailes of the West.

I gathered that from, well, reading his blog’s disclaimer. It’s still a great line!

OK, just making sure the not-so-subtle point was made. I’m sure he hears that mix up at least a dozen times a week.

Wuzza-wuzzup, loony libs? Da Cool Coach is here to say YOWZA!, is Awesome Althouse ever the smokin’ sack of lovely ladybits! Ya gotta believe that I’d SPREAD my love, formerly reserved for Tebow, all over her up and down and all over, just like the conservomentum will retake Crazy Congress in 2010, followed by kicking the Obummer out in 2012! You best be believin that Da Cool Coach downs box wine like it’s goin out of style, which is never what Da Cool Coach is! Badoodle-boo-yeah!

Hear that, loony libs? It’s the conservative comeback, comin down the track! Urban out.

2 things:

Ann: Nice jugs int he screencap

#2: I would have gone with ‘Cool Colt’ instead of King Cobra, as we all know, negroes love menthol, and what better way to get it than in malt liquor. Especially when drinking to excess.

Wait that’s really her, not a photoshop?

Ah, but the cheetos…

Subtle, Tintin. It’s like there are layers of sublime snackfood meaning.

My guess is that, from the looks of him, Treacher’s last successful sexual liaison was a spot of unwelcomed frottage with a possibly-female passenger on a crowded Metro train.

Fortunately the female in question was a model in one of those ads for Gold’s Gym.

Awesome Althouse ever the smokin’ sack of lovely ladybits!

She is, but not in the way you mean.

Is there enough booze in the world to get those guys laid?
Sadly, no.

Is Treacher saying that Althouse is a bigger slut than TinTin? That it takes less wine for her to put out than the gang at “Sadly, No!”?

For some reason, and it must be his hulking muscles, rugged good looks and his former military career, but whenever I read the name “Jim Treacher,” I think “Jack Reacher” of Lee Child fame.

Whenever I see Treacher’s name, I’m reminded that his blog was first called “Mother, May I Sleep With Treacher?”

Um….NO?!?!!!!!!!

And that tells you really all you need to know about Jim Treacher to know he’s a complete and compulsively moronic asshole.

I will bet any amount of money, or any prize possession I own, that I got laid more before my junior year in high school than Jim Arthur Treacher has his entire pathetic, greasy, lonely existence.

The fact I don’t look like an overweight Kevin Spacey playing a fat, lonely, bitter wingtard probably has something to do with it.

Actor, I’d love to believe you but its hard to take someone seriously when their blog’s format is so fuct up.

Y’know…this petition only has 150 signatures on it…maybe we could show Jimmy some special love.

Esteev, I’ve been working with Blogger on the formatting issues. I’m forced by my job to use only my work e-mail (SEC regulations) and posting by email is not as intuitive as you might think when Micro$oft word is involved.

By the way, ignore the “registration” feature. It doesn’t verify email addresses, so you can spoof freely.

SEC regulations

The SEC still regulates?! Umph.. you learn something new erryday.

Hymen Popp said 1 minute ago (unverified)
It\’s clear that Sean could not possibly have jogged, since he hasn\’t seen his sneakers since he was a wee lad and only 30 pounds overweight. The State Department really does deserve an apology from Mr Treacher for damaging the rear bumper of their vehicle in his feebel attempt to assassinate the President, believing this was a secret Service vehicle.

Now cut that out!

The SEC still regulates?!

Believe it or not. We got hit with fines because the possibility of having a communication that wouldn’t be logged in our email servers existed.

Didn’t matter that Goldman Sachs robbed us blind, nooooooooooo, but forget to cross an i or dot a t in an email….

Now cut that out!

Uh. Who? Me?

Y’know…this petition only has 150 signatures on it…maybe we could show Jimmy some special love.

Wait. Jim Treacher is not the dude’s real name? What the fuck kind of pseudonym is “Jim Treacher”???

Speaking of blogs, mine has a sad. There are two new posts up, one of which features not only zombies but also PENIS. My blog is demoralized that the winebox lady has more readers than it does:(

believing this was a secret Service vehicle.

I think Treacher thought it was one of these.

Jennifer, I would gladly visit, but I’m blocked by our firewall.

When I get home.

Ann does have nice juicy saggy tits, I must say, like rotting mangoes.

She must’ve been something before electricity.

Man, I would totally tap that hottie in the wheelchair, but then again, I’m into that shit…
http://www.paraprincess.com/Home.html
[fapping relentlessly]

Jennifer, I’m an avid reader! I especially like the paraphrased dialog between the vampire and his dinner.

I’ll link to my own snapshot taken 10 minutes after the featured image of Althouse, because I’m so vain Carly Simon once wrote a song about me.
http://lh3.ggpht.com/_4v7fLJoD-gM/S43YSzzKgeI/AAAAAAAAAys/p4cbs4UppYY/outhouse_bong.jpg

Didn’t matter that Goldman Sachs robbed us blind

But Actor, they are too big to fail and I assume that you aren’t sooooo… tough nuggies.

Oh, Jennifer — yes, also. Reader. Enjoy your stuff. If you were in a wheelchair I would totally tap that shit also, too. And as such.

Sadly, No! crew members also don’t do drunk blogging (well, not usually anyway)

This rule does not apply to commenters.

Aw, thanks guys!

I suppose at some point if I do have a bunch of regular readers I’ll switch from bitching about how no one reads our blog to how I’m under too much pressure to feed the blog.

But Actor, they are too big to fail and I assume that you aren’t

That’s not what DKW’s mom said.

I suppose at some point if I do have a bunch of regular readers I’ll switch from bitching about how no one reads our blog to how I’m under too much pressure to feed the blog.

..and then there’s the trolls; the lovely, lovely trolls…

..and then there’s the trolls; the lovely, lovely trolls…

I kept mine to a minimum, and considering how many people I’ve pissed off, that’s an accomplishment.

I did it a sneaky way: whenever someone trolls me, I copy their IP from the moderation board.

Word gets out, people stay away. That’s not to say I won’t allow disagreement (Dennis is one of my more regular commenters), but trolling is not allowed.

Ask not for whom the asshole trolls:
It trolls for thee.

Treacher got hit by a car and broke his knee? Since it was a federal employee, I hope the limit he can sue the government for pain and suffering is knee-capped.

A man writes a hundreds articles, so they call him a journalist. But should he fellate just one goat (allegedly), he is forever called a goat blower.

So one can only assume that once having earned the moniker (allegedly), he would have little incentive to stop blowing goats. It is more than a little curious that he is never seen in petting zoos /during daylight hours/. It would be irresponsible not to speculate.

Jimbo “Sean Medford” Treacher couldn’t get laid back when he was stalking the furries and plushies at ComicCon, why does anyone think he could get laid now that he’s Tucker’s little lapdog? At least when his fulltime job was trolling the comics messageboards his humor had a point, but now that this odious wingnut is trolling for links on Althouse’s blog (when he’s not attacking SUVs with his knees) the funny just keeps failing.

Jim/Sean is a perfect illustration of the axiom that wingnuts always fail upward.

why does anyone think he could get laid now that he’s Tucker’s little lapdog?

That’s precisely why he can. I hear Tucker’s a top.

he’s Tucker’s little lapdog

There’s lots of peanut butter involved.

when he’s not attacking SUVs with his knees

Why didn’t I come up with that? I really must hone my viciousness.

Ah, to be unencumbered by the curse of self-awareness.

On a more juvenile/ha ha funny/let’s all laugh at buttsex level…these very well be the dirtiest headlines in the history of family print journalism:

Colon receives tender

Steelers tender tackle Colon

Does anyone know what the “Tender Tackle Colon” is? Is it like the Dirty Sanchez? And how come I can never get mine in there when it’s tender?

Anyone need an editor? I promise I’m a thousand times better than the NY Timepiece.

OK, I braved the rotting mangoes to kick Treacher in the knee:

@Jim Treacher

Why don’t you go out and attack more government property with your other knee, you humorless dildo?

cerberus–

You mean the 1760s, shirley.

Dennis is one of my more regular commenters…

You have my sympathy.

Oh, Jim Treacher. Trading sexual insults with the Sadly, No! crew is like getting into a shootout with a SWAT team.

BS, are you saying the only thing ever stiff on Jim is his cast?

My guess is that, from the looks of him, Treacher’s last successful sexual liaison was a spot of unwelcomed frottage with a possibly-female passenger on a crowded Metro train.

Or an un-crowded SUV, anyway.

*snerk*

http://www.ihumpedyourhummer.com/blog/category/video/

If it were me I’d not link to the SN and TB posts because they’re embarrassing. But Ann is so needy of attention, and so narcissistic she links anyway. Kinda like she drinks anyway.

ihumpedyourhummer.com

Well, I’ve always said they were a substitute for insufficiency in the manliness department…

Look, this is the Internet. A fight about who is more able to get laid … it won’t end well.

http://www.ihumpedyourhummer.com/blog/category/video/
Looking at that URL, I thought it must be made up. Imagine my delightful surprise when I clicked through.

Look, this is the Internet.

….the tubes can only be filled so much before they burst.

….the tubes can only be filled so much before they burst.
That’s what your mom said.

That’s what your mom said.

Nah uh! That’s what your mom said! Gotchaaa!!!

Gotchaaa!!!
Egads! Now I am shamed and humbled.

It quite reminds me of my last BDSM session with your mother.

OT, but hey.

So now we know what they do when they should be jailing the guys at Goldman.

Hell, I could do that.

Could. I said could.

….touche

Gah. FYWP. A lot.

Anyhoo…

Your regulatory agencies at work.

http://dealbreaker.com/2010/03/sec-supervisor-surfed-tranny-porn-to-cope-with-stress-of-the-job/

triple fywp

Your mother is getting old.

Once more with feeling.

Yah, it was the “stress of the job.”

“Wait that’s really her, not a photoshop?”

A fellow I used to work with once went to see Christopher Hitchens speak at the University of Toronto. He was sitting at the halfway point of a crowded auditorium and told me that he could smell the alcohol reeking off of Hitchens even from distance.

I can now do him one better: I can smell the booze off of L’il Annie Outhouse through the monitor of my computer just by the merest glance at that photo. Yikes.

Totally shopped. WTF would An Outhouse have a glass of water handy?

Ohhh, a chaser for the Jaeger shots just out of frame, eh? Okey dokey, I retract my earlier claim.

Waqit! In homage to An Outhouse, I never said it was photoshopped.

I feel distinctly uncomfortable with a discussion of “getting laid” being in such close proximity to that picture up there.

Prithy tell, P U, to which picture do you refer? Which of those is the object of your obsession?

The SEC still regulates?!

See my link above.

Prithy tell, P U, to which picture do you refer? Which of those is the object of your obsession?

Well, obsession is the wrong word, but I speak of the one at the top there… *shudder*

BEHOLD THEE CLEEVAGE OF DEATH!

I feel distinctly uncomfortable with a discussion of “getting laid” being in such close proximity to that picture up there.

Maybe the premise is you’re drunk too.

Maybe the premise is you’re drunk too.

EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW

Considering the crowd she runs with, I would guess copious amounts of alcohol are required before anyone is much willing to do anyone else.

Let me see if I have this right. Anne posted the picture above herself, thinking that it was a fine picture of her for the entire Interwebs to view. Who knows, she may have that up on Match.com, too (the only way I would look at a profile with that picture would be to see if was a complete train wreck with Lolz galore — but I digress).
Anyone thinking that pic is a flattering one is by definition standing to close to the bar too early in the day.

It quite reminds me of my last BDSM session with your mother.

YOU were in the gimp suit????

Anyone thinking that pic is a flattering one is by definition standing to close to the bar too early in the day.

An’ yer prommem widdat i-hic-ish? *hic*

Foster Brooks lives!

“I’ve only had tee martoonis. The drunker I stand here the longer I get.”

Iiiiiiiiiiiiii d’no wash yer talk–tal–talkeen bout, Art. *urp*

Let me jump in right here and say that B^4 is quite fetching in a cro-magnon way.

My cave or yours, baby?

Wait. N__B is a chick????

Then who’s “Mrs N__B”?

Oh. Wait. DADT, sorry…

Wait. N__B is a chick????

No, he’s just comfortable enough with his masculinity to serve up some accolades.

No, he’s just comfortable enough with his masculinity to serve up some accolades.

I got full service.

I got full service.

You know who else got full–

No. I just don’t have it in me after hearing about Jon Swift. It’s going to be hard to be funny this afternoon.

No. I just don’t have it in me after hearing about Jon Swift. It’s going to be hard to be funny this afternoon.

Do it for him, what better way to celebrate his life, and the gifts he gave to us all?

http://www.ihumpedyourhummer.com/blog/category/video/

Involuntary orgasms during the cleaning of automobiles. Studies reveal an increasing incidence of sexual climaxes among people cleaning automobiles. In many cases the subject remained unaware of the discharge of semen across the polished paintwork and complained to his spouse about birds. One isolated case reported to a psychiatric after-care unit involved the first definitive sexual climax with a rear exhaust assembly. It is believed that the act was conscious. Consultations with manufacturers have led to modifications of rear trim and styling, in order to neutralize these erogenous zones, or if possible transfer them to more socially acceptable areas within the passenger compartment.

B^4 is quite fetching in a cro-magnon way.
Initially I misread that.

Do it for him, what better way to celebrate his life, and the gifts he gave to us all?

Yea, but all I keep thinking about is his mom. Loses her husband and her son in the same week.

You know who else’s mom I keep thinking about?

Are there enough roofies in the world to get Jim Treacher laid?

Sadly, no.

Seriously, Treacher, you pathetic fatass and bumbling turd, look in a fucking mirror.

I think the reason these corpulent dorks turn so far to the right is based on the same reason why so many wild-eyed Muslim morons become fanatical suicide bombers.

They can’t ever ever EVER get laid. Or ever hope to, at least not with someone conscious.

Hence, all their anger and spite.

You know who else’s mom I keep thinking about?

HITLER!

Your mom’s Hitler, DKW?

Oh, the humanity…………..

Look, I can understand Treacher saying that about you guys, but Tbogg? Has he never seen a picture of the lithe and leggy Mrs. Tbogg?

Look, if you’re an evil right-wing authoritarian fuck-nut troll like Treacher, if the sex isn’t non-cons, it doesn’t count.

Quaker: of course he hasn’t. None of these idiots ever actually does any research to back up their idiotic claims, mostly because if they DID do any research, they couldn’t back up their idiotic claims.

I’m torn. On the one hand, after seeing AA’s latest pic, I wish the Sandman would take my eyes. On the other hand, I don’t want that to be among the last things I saw.

Good god woman is drunk on camera more than Johnny Cash was back in the day and she wonders why people call her a lush?

I do not know whether it’s just me or if perhaps everybody else experiencing problems with your blog. It looks like some of the text on your content are running off the screen. Can someone else please comment and let me know if this is happening to them too? This might be a issue with my browser because I’ve had
this happen before. Appreciate it