Rolling Out The Summer Product Line

If the wingnuts can have nasty T-shirts, then so shall we!


[beaming innocently]

All in the next couple of weeks. (We’ve been working like little ugly elves.)


mikey said,

June 1, 2006 at 9:35 pm
Hmm. I don’t like the whole rope thing because of the KKK conotations. Seems like maybe the focus group is a little, well, taken aback around that one. What else ya got?

Oh, lots. Here’s another one:



Bradrocket adds: Here’s the inspiration for Gavin’s shirt, for those who require context:


Also: Gavin, has Pinko Punko trademarked the term “Cobag” yet? ‘Cause amigo, we can make a damn fortune off that design…


Comments: 88


Strange Fruit, indeed.


So you don’t like conservatives, therefore you make shirts to express your hatred against them and recommend that they be killed?

Imagine a shirt like that except with the word “nigger” in the place of conservative. You can’t imagine it, can’t you? But conservatives aren’t worthy of the same rights as others, now are they?


Um, maybe I’m cofused, but it looks this could be taken as a threat rather than snark. sorry


But I don’t want nasty shirts, I want ones with kitten bombers and cats driving. *pout*


Witty, but it’s pretty bleak, don’t you think? I’ve never seen a shirt lauding the lynching of a liberal (it’s kind of sickly Ironic, too).


Cameron, Khonsu I am glad to see that I am not the only person appalled by this image.


I’ve never seen a shirt lauding the lynching of a liberal (it’s kind of sickly Ironic, too).

Maybe it would help if Gav posted IMAO’s super-hilarious “Rope. Tree. Journalist.” shirt. That provides the necessary context.


Um, maybe I’m cofused, but it looks this could be taken as a threat rather than snark. sorry

Again, I direct you to IMAO’s “Ropetreejournalist” ha-ha laughfest shirt.


Ouch. Do’ya mean journalism students, too? You know, because it seems they’d want to nip us in the bud.


Hmm. I don’t like the whole rope thing because of the KKK conotations. Seems like maybe the focus group is a little, well, taken aback around that one. What else ya got?



¿Ees eet no too much to ask that all of la retórica eliminationista remain on the Republiculo side of the fencing?

Eenstead, try thees:

-Orange Jumpsuit.

Some Assembly Required.

or thees:


Some Assembly Required.
(spine not included een DLC Models)

Let thees leetle thugs keep their obsession about elimination to themselves,
they only do eet because they can no breeng-teh-funny.



I agree w/ El Gato & the other focus group members. We can’t rely on a random viewer getting the context; I sure didn’t. (Although I assumed there was something like it from the comment about wingnuts having their nasty shirts.)


I would put forward the idea of making a parody of their “Celebrate Diversity” shirt with either a picture of the overwhelmingly caucasian Republican Congress or with the names of companies owned by the corporate oligopolies thanks to the “free market” tactics of the right. Or perhaps a WW3 shirt with the Republican “W”.

I could have made a Coulter joke, but this shirt actually seems like it’s doing my job for me:


I had never heard of IMAO, so I went to see what it was. Right there, front page a couple of gems. First, do these people even know ABOUT irony? Not just the definition, but the CONCEPT?? Here’s a quote:

Why do we pay Kos any attention? Not only is he a despicable human being, he’s yet to successfully help any candidate win office. He may have a lot of fringe nuts behind him, but they’re still fringe nuts.

Umm, dood? KOS has fringe nuts behind him? And who the HELL are the peeps reading THIS CRAP:

Some Marines may have massacred civilians at Haditha, so now everyone is getting “values training.” Oy. I had the “Don’t Indiscriminately Kill Children” training at work, and it was really boring. I completely zoned out after about ten minutes of it. I didn’t get a thing out of it, and, if you asked me when it’s appropriate to open fire on children, I honestly don’t know.

And don’t care.

Nope, I really enjoy Sadly, No. And I don’t want it to be anything like IMAO.

Just sayin


melior (in Austin)

Don’t forget the cute little baby tees for the younguns!

My Daddy is a Yellow Underwear Chickenhawk

Future Junior 101st Keyboardist Battle Commander

And the bilingual Messican frriendly versions!

No Me Gusto Jorge Arbusto

melior (in Austin)

You know, it’s possible to be even more direct.

I’m Scared Of Brown People

Help! Save Me From Teh Terrorist Suiciders! Waah!

Jesus Hates You Cause You’re Not Rich And White Like Me

Stop Having Sex, It’s Icky


Reagan in a diaper.
Abu-Ghraib-style guy (hooded with wires) in Lady Liberty crown and torch.
Shirt with “What’s the last thing that went through Barbara Olsen’s mind?” on the front and a picture of an airplane fuselage on the back.
Picture of Osama with moniker “I destroyed the WTC and all I got was away with it”
Photoshoped Rick Santorum in Joan Crawford Drag, with wire hanger or ax
“Jesus would have: thrown you out of the Temple” or “:burned your Mega-Chruch to the ground”


But if I put a Cobag sticker on my car, isn’t that like calling myself a Cobag? I don’t wanna call myself a Cobag.


I’m down with all of El Gato Negro’s suggestions, ditto melior, JiuNoon and Chadwick.

Civil Liberties? We don’t need no stinking Civil Liberties.
Don’t you know that 9/11 changed everything?

It was necessary to destroy America, in order to save it.


How ’bout:


Some Jack Daniels


But if I put a Cobag sticker on my car, isn’t that like calling myself a Cobag? I don’t wanna call myself a Cobag.

It’s designed to be put on other people’s cars…


Republicans, Lies, Graft.


Put a picture of Jacky boy in his black fedora on it, and you’re golden.



Spoof Ad for O’Reilly’s *special* Hummus mix

Pseudo military shirts assigning ranks (General, Lt., etc.) for the War on Christmas

“Ann Coulter could change a Queers mind- You know, if she were a woman.”

Condoleeza photoshopped onto an Uncle Bens-esque “Instant War” box.

Laura Bush photoshopped into Marie Antionette Drag

Ari Fliescher, Scott Mclelan, and Tony Snow pictured side by side with the gaping sex-doll mouth photoshopped onto all three.

Conservative Christian: n. Satanist with Tacky-Ass Thomas Kincaid painting.


With the inability of these folks to understand irony, sarcasm, or any other of the more subtle forms of humor, I think something along the lines of

If you voted for the asshole, then you’re an asshole too.

might work. Good title for a country song, too … I’ll get right on that.


Condoleeza photoshopped onto an Uncle Bens-esque “Instant War� box.

Oh, we got in trouble for that with Steve Gilliard. Aunt Condi’s Insta-white Rice, or something.


This pleases me.

An idea: rather than a noose, perhaps a silhouetted hanging elephant, swinging softly against the backdrop of a clusterbombed village?

The image loses some of its pithiness, yes, and graphically it’s probably a tad more difficult. (This can also work with a chickenhawk, but that’s only if Ed Morrissey hasn’t taken all the fun out of it.)


Ah, I should have said “simply” a noose, as certainly one is required to hang an elephant.


“Cobag” so needs a Wikipedia entry …



I was way ahead of you with those first shirts.

However, I dislike the increased use of cobag instead of douchebag. People who have to use colostomy bags have trouble enough using them without being reminded of wingnuts every time!


(No racist intent with Condoleeza, but I understand- how about!… Condoleeza in “Condi Drew and the Case of the Missing Yellowcake”.)

Judge. Jail Sentence. Republican.
Some Assembly Required

Laura Bush’s car has killed more people than my sex life.

James Dobson thinks about sucking cock more than I do.

Picture of Governor Arnold. Beneath that Ruler section clipped off at 2 inches. Beneath that: “Don’t Do Steroids.”

Picture of Midwestern white guy holding clearly labeled Agriculture Subsidy. Beneath: Welfare Queen. (Could do a line including military contractors, etc.)


What about people who use douchebags? In the words of Abigail Adams to her husband, “Consider the ladies.” That’s why I love “cobags”–it’s gender-neutral. I do sympathize with your concern, though. Use of a douchebag is not representative of a serious and troublesome routine; it’s purely elective, not to mention unnecessary. I do regret that it seems someone must necessarily be put out no matter what vilely humorous epithet we construct.


Does “scumbag” just not carry enough negative resonance to work? I’m more than willing to disrespect Spertmatazoa-Americans, but only if there’s a good reason.

(Perhaps we should ask liberal colostomy bag users their opinion- I imagine a few might see the humor in dripping their waste into a cobagz open mouth…)


Shirt image: Simpering, 1950’s woman.
Text: “Oh! If only the government controlled ALL parts of my life, not JUST my reproductive rights!”

Shirt image: An airplane similar to the AIRPLANE! “curly plane” with the words “Powerline Airlines” on the side.
Text: “Oh stewardess! I speak Groganese!”
Possible text on back: “Red-state ass mama don’t got no brains anyhow! Hmmph!”


Yes, because we all know that we should imitate the wingnuts. They’re such great role models.


I agree with mikey–bad connotations, the rope thing. But there could be a useful spin on it: “White sheet, scissors, conservative. Some assembly required.” Or something like that. Call a spade a spade.


That first poster should say: “Conservative. GI Kit. Iraq” but that is probably way too subtle for the wingnuts


Not so much imitation as satire, although I think the line gets more and more blurred as the comedic mind supposedly “evolves” in this country.


All this goes to show is that the Democrats have no true leadership and have reverted to a lynch mob mentality. All conservatives are KKK, hang ’em! Send ’em to the Gulag!

Democrats disgust me.


Witty, but it’s pretty bleak, don’t you think? I’ve never seen a shirt lauding the lynching of a liberal (it’s kind of sickly Ironic, too).

Never, Khonsu?

Oh, and Shoelimpy™©, in light of the above, just who is suggesting that a certain class of citizens deserves no rights by virtue of their political leanings?

Seriously, if the right is going to engage in eliminationist rhetoric, they shouldn’t be surprised when they find that some liberals are “Not Ready to Make Nice.”


Cell Phone – I.E.D. – Neocon … some assembly required ….

Just a thought.


Eh, it’s funny, but the people the joke is aimed at are so thick that they’d just take it as further evidence of the “unhinged” left.

I’d rather have a Pastor Swank shirt, personally. Maybe with, to quote Dr. Myers daughter’s blog, “Homophobes are gay” on it.



Front end loader required

Now, you can’t say that’s eliminationist.


I noticed that the adorable journalist-rope tshirt in size small and 3X were already sold out. I am getting images of 300# parents & kids in matching tshirts.


Front: ” A Quiz:” — pictures of Coulter, Malkin, et al.

Back: “Who shall be first up against the wall, come the revolution?”


I think you should change it to say “NeoCons” instead of “Conservatives.” Because traditionally, hanging is for traitors. Or maybe you could have an image of a chair & a rope with the words, “Got Rove?” or “Got NeoCons.”

I sincerely believe the top tier of Bu$hInc – the actual architects & profiteers – should be apprehended & tried for international war crimes & sent to the Hague.

Perhaps that seems harsh but they are literally traitors. Their fidelity is only to a cabal of multinationals & each one of them who swore an oath to defend our Constitution has commited high crimes, let alone misdemeanors. They’ve tortured- in our name.

And so many people have died as a result of their lies. On both sides.

So yeah. Hang em High.

People are sensitive about hanging as a metaphor, by the way.


how about a picture of saddam in a turban and the words kill saddamma bin laden


or don’t blame me, i voted for nader

or 100,000 iraqis beyond the reach of tyranny


Or, for all you Tick fans, there’s always this route:


On behalf of my clients, The Arbor Society and International Rope and Twine, Inc., I must insist you refrain from defaming through false association the good name and reputation of ropes and trees. You have been notified.

Trenton Law Firm
(Injured? Call Today!)


I would respond to some of the comments that are being directed towards me, however it appears that I am under special moderation thanks to our hosts.


All I have to say is Gavin, Brad, Travis, Retardo, you guys are and will always be the most brilliant people on the planet. Love the poster, love the bumper sticker. I think if anything the poster is not strong enough, we should have a picture of a gun with the words Gun. Conservative. Brains splattered all over the asphalt. Some assembly required. That would be da shiznit! Boo-yah!


“or don’t blame me, i voted for nader”

Nader voters unite!


A picture of Jonah Goldberg asking, “Just what is a cobag anyway?”
Pastor Swank responding, “I am not really sure.”


Assasins Brown Cobagzzz!!!111!! Global….



I hate to be the one to do this, but: The Truth About Brad R.


So, is Shoelimpyâ„¢ back with annie, because I’m gonna kick his ass for what he did to my little rose-flower. I also love how context is completely absent from his/its empty head. Thanks, Shoeâ„¢, thanks for stealing annie’s bank card and being a turdmuffin.

Also, a golden onion wiener to the first person that applies to and sends Three Bulls! a picture of: COBAG sticker attached to Hummer, H2, Expedition, Armada, F350, etc. This is a dangerous mission, possibly skirting the boundaries of the law. We are not responsible for your behavior, but will post said photo as a warning to the rest of you that such behavior will be rewarded with virtual onion rings that are valueless in real world dollars.


Shirt image: An airplane similar to the AIRPLANE! “curly plane� with the words “Powerline Airlines� on the side.
Text: “Oh stewardess! I speak Groganese!�
Possible text on back: “Red-state ass mama don’t got no brains anyhow! Hmmph!�

I don’t think anyone outside of this site is gonna get that one. Kind of a nieche market there.

Charlotte Smith

I always wanted to make a “Spot the Terrorist” T-shirt with a picture of Timothy McVeigh surrounded by pictures of ordinary folk who just happen to be swarthy-looking. I expect – nay, hope – that someone’s beaten me to it 🙂

Mo's Bike Shop

Pic of flight-suit-george + “Mission Creep”{

pseudonymous in nc

So you don’t like conservatives, therefore you make shirts to express your hatred against them and recommend that they be killed?

Only if you volunteer to be first, performance troll.

pseudonymous in nc

Actually, Bradrocket, I’d prefer:


Some Assembly Required.


Hey, I notice shoelimpy commented above. Does he have any explanation for his abandonment of Annieangel?


I always wanted to make a “Spot the Terrorist� T-shirt with a picture of Timothy McVeigh surrounded by pictures of ordinary folk who just happen to be swarthy-looking

This is beautiful.

Or Eric Rudolph with, “We all know what a terrorist looks like.”


Shoelimpyâ„¢ outed BRad R. at his place, and he’s back in the blogging saddle with double-a because they have a new merch store together. Of course, you can get an awesome “I Hate Shoelimpyâ„¢” T-shirt, so things are still unclear.


Also, I need to reiterate that the connection between a cobag and someone that has to use one is tenuous. Can one really argue that a bag of poop is not disgusting, no matter how unfortunate it is that someone has to use one because of a bad disease? Being an actual bag of poop and having to use one to poop are completely different, and I respectuflly stand against the language police on this one.


Do I detect the proverbial chirping of the proverbial cannibal crickets, Senor Shoestimpy?


I just lobotomized an alligator.

Now it’s a Republican.


How ’bout this? A T-Shirt with, in large font, the words “call out if you read Newsmax [or substitute some other wingnut publication].

Then, below that, in much smaller font, so I’ll know to instantly discount your opinions.

Too verbose?


Thees area behind the ovalado containing the word how-joo-say “cobag”:

She should be bright, republiculo, rrred.




T-shirt idea : Picture of John Stuart Mill – caption – “I never meant to say that the Conservatives are generally stupid. I meant to say that stupid people are generally Conservative. I believe that is so obviously and universally admitted a principle that I hardly think any gentleman will deny it.”


you guys are lame.

picture of an anthropomorphized elephant, a bullet hole between the eyes.


“it stood between me and my country.”


Several shirt/poster ideas

1) picture of post-Katrina body floating facedown in floodwaters with caption – Bush’s “Culture of Life” –

2) picture of Cheney as Elmer Fudd in the WB cartoon circle. Top half of circle says “Major League Asshole” Bottom half says “Big Time”

3) collect/list GOP monikers

God’s Own Party
Greedy Old Pigs
Kool-Aid Drinkers
Crooks and Liars

~ follow with ~

A “Turd Blossom” by any other name would smell as foul


personally, ive always wanted a tee shirt with william tecumseh sherman on it. then everyone who says that “the rebel flag is my heritage” can have a response of “this is mine.” also, i like the idea of “yo momma so dumb, shes a republican.” then again, im permanently stuck in 1994.


Nice, simple, straightforward:

Osama’s Head, with the caption

“I don’t know where bin Laden is. I have no idea and really don’t care. It’s not that important. It’s not our priority.”
– G.W. Bush, 3/13/02


I like Fezzik’s suggestion– though the caption could also be used with a WTC silhouette that has above it “Remember 9-11” ala the shrieker conservative shirts that are intended to provoke an emotional response in favor of the GWOT.


Or, to go GuinnessGuy and Fezzik (are there rocks ahead?) one better, have an image of the WTC burning on 9/11 with the “Dead or alive” gag-inducer up top and the “not our priority” quote at the bottom.


Oh, what a capital suggestion, J.A.– I’ve never actually seen one of those; the conservatives in my neck of the woods have the good taste to avoid wearing such exploitative clothing in general.
Still, the greater the contrast, the greater the effect, and therefore I suggest we add a “Never Forget!” in there and call it a job well done.


Shelimpy, et al.

I think the “Rope ,Tree, Conservative” thing is fair game. Fuck this faux civility issue that the right wingers are always crying about through one side of their mouths while spewing some really hateful shit from the other.

Turning the other cheek might work for Jesus, but it won’t get us anywhere dealing with the assclowns who claim to be His followers

i take it you’ve never seen the ever so cute amusing and innocent “Liberal Hunting License” that some of the wingnuts have popped out here and there

No, no implied threats there. Heaven forbid we get the idea that there are wingnuts out there who mean us harm, right?


ShOelimpy (sorry, last post was a typo, honest)

here’s another one from cafepress:

and another one

wait… am i detecting a theme here?

who knows, maybe I’m just imagining these things


[…] UPDATE to the UPDATE: Just so’s not to cheat you of Sadly, No!’s original art, here’s a link to the original. Of course we have a screenshot. What do you think we are? LIBERAL?. Posted by Emperor Darth Misha I @ 10:41 am | […]


[…] If you go to the Sadly, No! main page, there are four buttons at the top. One says “Store.” If you click on it, you get to a Cafe Press store with some items for sale bearing the logo: Rope. […]


[…] By the way, the idea to sell these items occurred to the Sadly, No! folks back on June 1, 2006. The commenters were largely appalled at the “parody”: Shoelimpyâ„¢ said, […]



Hamas/Hezbollah/Al Qaeda/CAIR…

Some Assembly Required.


[…] You can see the never-sold, voted-down parody T-shirt that used to be in our store which hasn’t even opened yet here. […]


Wingnut Trolls.

Some Application Required.




Sherman BBQ Tour of the South

Sadly, no picture (on the site)….

I am SO tempted.


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