But if they promise to stop fucking around, who will do it? Huh?

Those arounds aren’t gonna fuck themselves, ya know.

GovernOr, DA.

And the incumbent can simply have a campaign slogan “Shit happens”

Stan Mann for Governer
‘Let’s Stop Fucking Around With Spelling’

Sarah Palin For President
‘You Know You Want To Fuck Me’

Watch me split this fucking rail!

but but but that isn’t nice and reasonable and bipartisan and inoffensive! Waaah! How did it poll? What’s the focus group say?

First things first. Every Dem seeking office in a red state should change his name to something like Stan Mann. Or Bill Bilder. Or, seriously, the former Mayor of Austin, Will Wynn.

getting shit done

Is that a new productivity trend? Where do I sign up for your newsletter?

Y’know, this reminds me of an ad campaign, a guerilla marketing campaign for a clothing store, I think, that was around in New York City back in the 60s and 70s. There was a guy holding two handfuls of crap, and the tag line was “Tired of the same old shit?”

The Different Drummer. That was the store.

Slab Bulkhead gits it done!

Grafty McRich for Senate
“Don’t Fuck With Me: I can Buy Your Ass”

Now I understand everyone’s shit’s emotional right now. But I’ve got a 3 point plan that’s going to fix EVERYTHING.

Politics/Media current slogan:

SSDD

Up in quaint old LEAFS SUCK, we had a mayoral candidate that could have used that advice.

Republican slogan:

Fuck Shit Up

My fellow Americans: PENIS.

I’ve got a 3 point plan that’s going to fix EVERYTHING.

1. No taxes whatsoever
2. At least 2 more wars
3. Divine Providence will help with the rest

Current congressional mission statement:

“When it comes to fucking around, we don’t fuck around”

Limpy Entitledman McIncumbent III for Senate
‘Don’t Change Whoreses In The Middle Of A Stagnant Pond’

For all Democrats looking to appeal to the base,
“I’ll kick Lieberman in the nuts to pass health care.”
Or the simpler, more elegant and more general,
“I’ll kick Lieberman in the nuts.”

How are we all not consultants?

“I’ll kick Lieberman in the nuts.”

Interest, newsletter, u.s.w.

Republican slogan:

Fuck Shit Up

FSU.

No wonder they love Bobby Bowden so much.

I’ve got a 3 point plan that’s going to fix EVERYTHING.

1. No taxes whatsoever
2. At least 2 more wars ????
3. Divine Providence will help with the rest PROFIT!

Fi-diddly-ixed!

Nathan Bedford Stonewall E. Lee for Senator for the Great State of Mississippi: “I’ll fuckin’ git it dun while cuttin’ yer fuckin’ taxes!”

Fuck Shit Up

Veiled 88 Fingers Louie reference?

This is all veering dangerously close to Larry The Cable Guy territory.

Now dat dere was funnay, Ah don’ care whoyare!

Zippy McFly for Mayor
“I Won’t Fuck You, Unless You Ask Nicely Or Have Big Hooters.”

“Do You Mind If We Dance With Your Dates”

From Citizen_X’s link: “World’s Largest Sausage reports and tips from RoadsideAmerica.com visitors and Roadside America mobile tipsters. Some tips may not be verified. Submit your own tip.”

Veiled foreskin reference?

Veiled/Blatant/Samething

So the Democratic Party (state? I think so…) called me last night to solicit a donation. I told the nice lady that I wasn’t prepared to donate right now because I’m pretty much disgusted with the party top-to-bottom.

She ignored that and jumped into her spiel about how the special interests were going to fund the Republican challenger to Patty Murray and blah blah blah and could I perhaps be put down for a smaller donation?

I said no, I wasn’t ready to donate right now.

“One last thing Mr. Chowder, [blah blah blah special interests] so could I put you down for a yet smaller donation?”

I said, “You don’t seem to understand. Right now I can’t tell much difference between the Democrats and the Republicans. I won’t be contributing.”

Click.

I’ll go find a way to send Patty money directly because she’s awesome, but the party needs to be sent a message.

It’s pretty stinky upstairs – so even though this has been done before:

Every, every day, our Lord is testing us.
If he wasn’t testing us how would you account for the sorry state of our society, for the crimes that plague the big cities of this country – when he could sweep this pestilence from the face of the earth with one mighty gesture of his hand?
If our Lord wasn’t testing us, how would you account for the proliferation these days of this obscene lack of getting shit done, with its gospel of kickin’ back and fucking around?

Well, fuck me gently with a chainsaw … but I’ll not only VOTE for the first crazy bugger who runs under a “Holy Shit, We Are All So Totally Fucked” banner – I’ll bloody well FUNDRAISE for them.

Considering my innate abhorence of disequilibrate election-funding, that’s really saying something, more or less.

Republican slogan:

Fuck Shit Up

I heard they actually had chosen two slogans … just couldn’t ever decide which one they loved more.

GOP 2012 – Hate-Fucking America Until We Disembowel It.

Are we NOT all consultants, histrogeek? Or are we DEVA?

Garry Allyn Demanty for Ombudsman

“I’ll Fuck Ducks”

I’m partial to “Bitches Get Shit Done”, myself.

“I’ll kick Lieberman in the nuts.”
Get in line.

John Smith: Just About Out of Bubblegum

“Unqualified” seems like a good slogan. At this point, I’d vote for that person. Then again, I voted for Zippy the Pinhead in ’88.