Oh God No
Posted on February 5th, 2010 by HTML Mencken
Perhaps the worst music video ever made.
HAZMAT disclaimer: “Starring Pat Boone, Directed by Roger L. Simon”. Cliff May gives it a thumbs up.
I watched it all the way through. My retinas are bleeding, and I just know my DNA has already begun to mutate. Tell my girlfriend I love her. Goodbye, Sadly, No.
Not getting out of the boat. Life is too damn short to watch music videos with Pat Boone.
Hell, I’m gonna go watch Cameo’s “Word Up” just to wash the image of such an abomination from my mind.
STAY IN THE BOAT. STAY IN THE BOAT. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, MONTRESOR, STAY IN THEEeeeeeaaaaarrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhh…..
Arrgh, and he’s relying on Auto-Tune!
Auto-Tune is to music like shaky hand-held camera is to TV and film. Just a way to disguise how much you suck.
Day ruined. Hate all living and growing things. Hate the blind idiot god in the sky.
Thanks, HTML!
Well, that disguise isn’t working too well.
The sad, sad arc of Pat Boone’s “career”: Going from having a dick in a box to being the dick in the box.
Jennifer, Pat is neither as useful nor productive as a dick.
I’ll say it again: This will clean all the horrors of the Pat Boone world from your mind.
Wait, wait, not that one! That one sucks!
Watch this one instead!
Damn you to hell
I managed 35 seconds… you got to know your limits.
Nope, not entering the water. Not. No. Nyet.
The problem with you loony libs on this site is that you don’t understand the concept of satire and parody. Can’t you see how hilarious it is?
I made it about two minutes in. I barely managed to close my browser, what with the blood shooting from my eyes and all.
Sweet Jesus, that’s horrible.
It’s got a good beat and you can dance to it.
Why does HTML hate us?
Ha. I am allergic to mangoes. Sometimes, that’s a good thing.
Stabbity stabbity stabbity
The B side of this one’s called “Shut Up, That’s Why!”
He can’t even SING. Pat Boone’s RIGHT THERE. He’s one of the worst persons on earth but at least he can carry a fucking tune.
Desperate attempt to engage with the subject: HOW CAN THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES “TALK TOO MUCH” HE’S THE COCKING PRESIDENT YOU STUPID FUCKS
“You Talk Too Much”?
A wingnut cover of the 50’s song, dedicated maybe to Obama?
The iron wall of Websense keeps me away from the mangoes in any case.
I shall resist!
HOW CAN THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES “TALK TOO MUCH” HE’S THE COCKING PRESIDENT YOU STUPID FUCKS
Wow. I guessed it.
These people are getting really sad when they’re that predictable.
The original You Talk Too Much was an insult to women. This version insults humanity.
Oh the humanity!
It’s funny because black people are singing what white people are thinking.
Someone tell that off-key Step N-Fetchit that I want my damn hair back! And why didn’t they just let Pat do the song in black face? It would only have been slightly more offensive.
It’s funny because black people are singing what white people are thinking.
You know, while I was watching that I forgot for a moment he was black.
I’m sick and tired of the direction this country is going in. It’s considered perfectly acceptable for blacks to make racist comments about whites and to refer to white people as “white boy” or “honkey” , but God forbid if a white man refers to a black as a “nigger” or “boy” or a “jiggaboo” or a “porch monkey” or a “mud man”.
Despite freedom of speech they would be charged with a hate crime. Yet our nation’s politically correct establishment not so much as bats an eye when a black makes racist or generalized comments about whites.
Is there something wrong with this picture? I know us conservatives are just simple hardworking folk who view things in black and white, so do you think maybe you liberals can explain to me why this is acceptable?
Or are us conservatives missing something here?
… he was black.
I think we need to ask for proof of that.
Or are us conservatives missing something here?
yes.
Nice mangoes.
You guys want some? I think I can reach them from the boat…what are those big scaly things swimming in the river?
Autotune? That’ll keep me in the boat.
Or are us conservatives missing something here?
A proper grammar, for a start.
Or are us conservatives missing
somethingeverything here?Tightened that up a bit, Artie. And, the answer is “yes.”
Going from having a dick in a box to being the dick in the box.
In fairness to Boone, he was promoting his failed fast food chain. Funny how Jack works better in that name than Dick…
Despite freedom of speech they would be charged with a hate crime.
No they wouldn’t. Point to one instance where somebody was charged with a hate crime for using a word, without an underlying crime of some kind.
Jezz, would you whiny bastards sack up?
I am so tired of the direction this country is going in, with the kids and their big pants and their rap n roll music and their Lady Googoos and their economy Privis cars and their not insulting people of other races. Why is that?
Less than ten seconds with the sound off… escaped the fate of your average H.P. Lovecraft protagonist by that much.
Point to one instance where someone has actually used the word “honky” since, oh let’s say 1976.
Here a miss, there a miss,
Everywhere a miss miss
Old McGregor is a tool
e-i-e-i-oh
With a “nigger” here, a “nigger” there,
Here a nig, there a nig
Everywhere a nig nig
Old McGregor is a tool
eeeee-iiiiii-eeeeeee-iiiiii-oooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Couldn’t they have hired people who could actually sing?
I’ll ask you liberals two questions and I demand an answer for each of them.
Why is it considered acceptable for black people to make generalized or racist comments about white people but it isn’t considered acceptable for white people to make generalized or racist comments about black people?
And
Why is black culture considered “cool” and “hip” while white culture is considered “boring” and “uncool?”
If you liberals will answer these two simple questions then I will at least have respect for you.
Jezz, would you whiny bastards sack up?
Really, Artie…nut up or shut up.
Shorter Arthur McGregor, and in fact, nearly all Republicans:
“How come blacks can call me a name but I can’t call them a name? HOW COME? It’s not Faaaaiiiiiirrrr!”
Mark D said,
February 5, 2010 at 17:42
Excuse me, are you black?
I’ll need to see your papers please…
And I DEMAND PIE!
I’ll ask you liberals two questions and I demand an answer for each of them.
go pound sand, with your demand. Ask nicely and we won’t gut you like a fish.
I’ll ask you liberals two questions and I demand an answer for each of them.
I’m not your dad and yes, I left her a tip.
If you liberals will answer these two simple questions then I will at least have respect for you.
and you’re lying.
Point to one instance where someone has actually used the word “honky” since, oh let’s say 1976.
here
Oh. Wait. 1976? Damn. Missed it by four years!
Couldn’t they have hired people who could actually sing?
well, they ARE Republicans….
I DEMANDS satisfaction, suh! Answer my questions! Address my posts!!! It all hinges on my almighty respect for you!!!!!!1111one1!!!1!1
Lookity! The troll is demanding!
Awwwwwwwwwwww, innit cute when they stomp their feet? Now, if he’ll only hold his breath for an hour or so….
Perhaps the worst music video ever made.
Does Tintin agree? I believe he is the authoritay…
We’ll know if TinTin drags it out in the vid war with Thers.
Never mind McDouchebag, did anyone see the PJTV video listed below the Pat Boone one, with Gov. Perry going to the shooting range with right-wing bloggers? Among them was Bretibart–yes, THEY GAVE BREITBART A FIREARM! And he says, “I seriously need a gun in LA, what with ACORN and the SEIU.”
O no Ted, we shouldn’t foster an intramural YouTube war…
THEY GAVE BREITBART A FIREARM
“In entertainment news, Andrew Breitbart came in fourth in the Upper Class Twit of the year competition, when he failed to miss shooting himself in the face.”
Somehow, I am not surprised that Breitbart considers community organizers and service employees to be a threat.
SERIOUS self-esteem issues.
If my demand is not met then I will continue to have disrespect for you liberals.
If it weren’t for white people bringing the negro to the new world in chains and establishing European colonies in Africa than the negro would still be living a miserable existence in caves.
I DEMAND BRANES!!!!
…just not that mcGregor fellow. stanky, is all.
Next time, Breitbart’s going to open fire on Sudanese protesting the use of child soldiers.
If my demand is not met then I will continue to have disrespect for you liberals.
somehow, I suspect we will find a way to live with that.
Does being hung like a black guy count?
If so, than this:
… becomes a paper-trail penis reference.
Next time, Breitbart’s going to open fire on Sudanese protesting the use of child soldiers.
…and shoot himself in the other foot.
I’m sick and tired of the direction this country is going in. It’s considered perfectly acceptable for blacks to make racist comments about whites and to refer to white people as “white boy” or “honkey”
Shut the fuck up, honkey.
Does being hung like a black guy count?
I’m a Viking. I don’t impress easily.
If so, than this:
I’ll need to see your papers please…
… becomes a paper-trail penis reference.
Damn. I was going to use the “long form vault copy” joke, but I’ve been trumped!
If it weren’t for white people bringing the negro to the new world in chains and establishing European colonies in Africa than the negro would still be living a miserable existence in caves.
Apparently, some of us white folk here in America still do.
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA ::cough:: HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA ::hack:: HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA ::wheeze:: HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA … HA HA HA HA HA HA … ::cough:: … HA HA HA HA HA HA … HA HA … HA.
Ahem.
refer to white people as “white boy” or “honkey”
what gets me is how much this upsets the clenched-sphincter poutrage racist crowd.
Coffee — > Monitor
Well, Arthur is no Gary Ruppert, but he finds a theme and flogs it mercilessly. I give him a 54; 63 if you’re into S&M.
also; cue Brandi in 5..4..3..
Sigh. And to think some misguided people have had the temerity to accuse you of racism, Mr. McGregor. Lawdamercy, I do declare!
You know when I want answers I usually say “please” but I guess that’s why I get disrespected.
If you liked that, you might also enjoy Alonzo Rachel’s “Healthcare Reform Will Not Be Televised.”
Hey Artie?
I need you to audition for me. Can you repeat this please?
“Switching to Geico Insurance: So easy a caveman can do it”
You know, maybe the troll has a point, and white people should have a right to complain about racism against them …
… just as soon as they are: sold by competing tribes/taken to a different continent by some other group of people … treated as property instead of as human … forced to do manual labor under fear of corporal punishment/death … flogged mercilessly and/or killed for the slightest offense … considered by the law to be only three-fifths human … allegedly “freed” yet still enslaved socially and economically … forced by law to use separate, and often inferior, facilities wherever they go … beaten and/or lynched for sitting in a seat reserved for/saying something impertinent to/looking at a white person … kept from voting due to the color of their skin … banned from marrying anyone else without permission … and just generally treated worse than the average cockroach by others simply due to their skin color.
As soon as all that happens, then yes, white conservatives: you can bitch all you want about racism and how it has so unfairly and harshly impacted your life.
Until then, you can kindly shut … the … fuck … up.
Thank you.
“I’m sick and tired of the direction this country is going in. It’s considered perfectly acceptable for blacks to make racist comments about whites and to refer to white people as “white boy” or “honkey””
So you don’t like “white boy” or “honkey”. How about mick” , “dago” , “kraut” , “hebe” or “spic” ?
Or do you prefer to be called “ignorant cocksucker” , since you’re a conservative?
I am the luckiest motherfucker on the face of the planet. It wants to force me to sign up before it will let me see the video. The want of a simple key has saved my sanity!
Word up!
Time to play the lottery, Snowwy. This is your day!
Looks like Artie chose the ‘gutting like a fish’ option.
he chose….poorly.
You liberals think you are so clever with your glib answers and pathetic attempts at humor. Your failure to answer the questions I previously asked only proves the overall failure of liberal ideology to provide any worthwhile answers to the current state of racial relations in the United States.
Sadly, I didn’t have that problem.
And I made it almost a minute … which should qualify me for some kind of medal.*
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go grab some industrial strength cleanser and pour it into my ear canal.
brb
(*Kinda like the Presidential Medals of Freedom Bush handed out, but to those who actually, ya know, earned it.)
The conservative answer to race relations:
“Can we please start calling black people ‘nigger’ again?”
worthwhile answers to the current state of racial relations in the United States.
as opposed to racist cobags who just want to continually find rationalizations and confirmation for their hatred and bigotry.
The Republican Party’s only solution to race relations has a tendency toward …the final, shall we say?
I am become Zo, destroyer of music.
Your failure to answer the questions I
O, we’ve answered them.
Just not to YOU.
To be plain, it’s because you are a racist cobag.
Your failure to answer the questions I previously asked only proves the overall failure of liberal ideology to provide any worthwhile answers to the current state of racial relations in the United States.
Artie, we have a pretty good idea of what the problem is.
It’s you. And you hold the solution. A bottle of bleach and a funnel.
Altho if we can just get our shotguns before you run too far, you’ll have our answer shortly.
Hah! Genius video. Where to start?
First, Post-American Bandstand! Get it? As in, “What happened to my country?” Oh my god, brilliant.
And then second, it’s black singers singing about the president…because he’s BLACK!!!
And finally, the message itself: “You talk too much.” Like, Obama is all talk and no action. Because it’s so true! The man can’t get anything done!
Roger L. Simon: You’re a winner indeed.
Hey, Artie? You got a big something stuck in your brow there…
Oh. It IS your brow…sorry…
A Quote for the occasion
“Silky Johnson: Reach for the sky, honky!
Slave Master: Honky?
Silky Johnson: “Honky” is a racial epithet. It was made popular in the 1970s by a man named George Jefferson. You see, he and his wife owned a dry-cleaning business, so they moved on up to the east side, to a deluxe apartment in the sky. They finally got a piece of the pie. “
Damn, there sure are some extremely masochistic Sadlynauts around here!
Um … the URL itself mentions both Pat Boone, & the not-exactly-awe-inspiring “Zo & The Zoettes” – whatever the fuck a “Zoette” is – & yet you STILL clicked it anyway?
Ai yi yi!
Sorry, no euthanasia for you today – I’m afraid only good girls & boys who inspire mercy get to have a mercy-killing … enjoy your living nightmare.
“Your failure to answer the questions I previously asked only proves the overall failure of liberal ideology to provide any worthwhile answers to the current state of racial relations in the United States.”
I’m sorry Artie , were you saying something? I had trouble hearing it through your hood.
Fixed.
The Canadian Version of Arthur
“Former MP Jim Pankiw had two messages for reporters who accepted his invitation to a press conference Thursday.
“Yeah, I’m running in the next federal election in Saskatoon-Humboldt as an independent,” the 43-year-old chiropractor told a roomful of journalists after a series of introductory remarks about his personal background and views on what he considers to be “race-based privileges” for aboriginal Canadians.
http://www.leaderpost.com/news/Pankiw+announces+return+politics+says+doesn+need+media+federal+riding/2522918/story.html
“And I will win,” he said. “And I don’t need the media.”
No federal election has been called.
Pankiw told reporters he’s had a strong work ethic ever since childhood, when he worked after school on his father’s farm near Unity. He described living in a basement and sleeping on an inflatable mattress in Toronto as a young man, working evenings and weekends at a hospital while studying to be a chiropractor. He continues to work six or seven days a week, he said.
“And what really pisses me off is that I pay taxes and the government takes my money and gives it to people, other people, who don’t have that kind of a work ethic. They get free housing, free education, free health care — holy Christ, hunting and fishing privileges, going to university for free, while I was sleeping on a concrete floor. This has to stop. This is ridiculous.””
“– whatever the fuck a “Zoette” is ”
Just some skanks that took time out from their pole dancing to appear in Pat’s lame video.
I got an answer for Artie with regards to his problems with race relations:
Artie, life ain’t fair and so sometimes you win, and sometimes you lose and right now, you perceive your brethren are losing.
Man up, pull up your Huggies and work a little harder at being a man. This is America. Hard work is supposed to be its own reward, and if you are working hard and not getting ahead, instead of blaming the other guy who is working just as hard as you, blame the system that’s deciding you’re a pussy.
(I use “pussy” with all due respect to my vaginally-enhanced sistren)
WTF was that?
In my defense
OK I have no actual defense for following the link.
Hmm…break tags showed up correctly in preview. Oh well. WP fail.
The sad, sad arc of Pat Boone’s “career”: Going from having a dick in a box to being the dick in the box.
Holy crap, we’ve been Dickrolled!
And Interclue tells me I only get to watch 6 PJ videos for free before I have to sign up and shell out, so I think I’ll forgo this one to make sure I don’t waste any of my 6. Because that would be tragic.
so I think I’ll forgo this one to make sure I don’t waste any of my 6.
Hm. By that logic….
tells me I only get to watch 6 PJ videos for free before I have to sign up and shell out,
huh. told me I got 9.
So either tig has been hanging out at PJTV on the sly, or they are courting the zombie demographic.
Or do you prefer to be called “ignorant cocksucker” , since you’re a conservative?
While not all ignorant cocksuckers are conservative, all conservative cocksuckers are ignorant.
While not all ignorant cocksuckers are conservative, all conservative cocksuckers are ignorant.
The Venn diagram shows a surprisingly large overlap, however.
So either tig has been hanging out at PJTV on the sly, or they are courting the zombie demographic.
Or they believe white males are oppressed and deserve a break.
Scott,
Bahhahahaha. That’s LeVar Burton in that Word Up video. Brilliant. I always liked Candy better as a song, but that does bring me back.
And weren’t we just talking about the whole 80s-all-night-cocaine-and-sex-parties thing in another thread?
I wonder, Zombs, whether other Interclue users may be watching the allotted videos so I don’t have to. Now that’s the kind of high-level service one doesn’t often get in today’s high-tech marketplace.
See its “Post-American Bandstand” because now we are a Marxist dictatorship. Get it? Haha. Its funny because its retarded.
the government takes my money and gives it to people, other people, who don’t have that kind of a work ethic. They get free housing, free education, free health care — holy Christ, hunting and fishing privileges, going to university for free, while I was sleeping on a concrete floor.
Dude, you’re a fucking chiropractor. I couldn’t care less how hard you work, because it just means you’re a hard-working con man. It takes some gall for you to go around accusing other people of being parasites.
And they were no better as a minority party. Remember all those “strongly worded letters” they were famous for writing? Not to mention AUMF.
LOL wow, not only wrong thread. Wrong blog. Woops.
Or are us conservatives missing something here?
Yes, dipshit. This sort of thing involves the imbalance of sociopolitical power. This basic fact is so well known, and been explained at length to moronic conservatives for so many decades that it’s even gotten through Rush Limbaugh’s thick skull so even he has to occasionally acknowledge it when he says incredibly stupid racist things. What your excuse is, is anyone’s guess.
And about the vid: I realize that this is a philosophical question along the lines of Liebnitz’s best of all possible worlds hypothesis, but could Pat Boone theoretically, possibly be a bigger douchebag? And how shallow does the “black people who hate Obama” bench have to be so that that goofball is the best singer they could find?
Side note: Pankiw was once my Member of Parliament…his mailings were something else
That song was pretty white …
artie sounds like a parody troll, listen to the; ‘address my point, libs’ meme
At least one of The Zolettes is in drag, possibly two. But that’s ok. It’s ok to hire fags and niggers and cunts to say racist, sexist and homophobic things about themselves because then it isn’t racist, homophobic or sexist ’cause they are doing it to themselves even though we white folk hired them and told them what to say. Don’t ya see?
All trolls are Poe at this point. Who can tell?
Here’s an animated gif from the video:
http://comicbooth.com/images/boone_dance_sm.gif
Perhaps Pat Boone has done a great service to the intarwebs with this video. From this day forward, the deterrent effect of this horrible, horrible weapon renders all music video wars obsolete!
sweet bleeding christ, that Pat Boone video is so traumatic, i think my testes are attacking each other even now
Its funny because its retarded.
I really don’t want the real Sarah Palin on this thread, thanks very much.
“Jennifer said,
February 5, 2010 at 16:01
The sad, sad arc of Pat Boone’s “career”: Going from having a dick in a box to being the dick in the box.”
BAM–awesome comment!
Olexicon, that guy needs to be stranded on some fly-in reserve in northern Ontario. I’m sure the local Cree or Ojibwe would be very interested to hear his notions of government largesse.
Before they left him on the muskeg to be drained of blood by a billion mosquitoes.
Now wait a minute. I take issue with the description of Chiropractors as ‘con men’. I think a more nuanced description, which would take into account the complexities of real world medicine would be: ‘con men, some of whom can give a really good back rub’.
men, some of whom can give a really good back rub
Interest.
Website? Newsletter?
I can drive him out to the James Smith or Kinistin Saulteaux Nation…trust me this time not being a politician has made him crazier
What, no love for Jan Terri’s “Get Down Goblin”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JqsRFKe3YMA
or her power ballad, “Losing You”?
oh, fuck me. nevermind.
um….did I see Michelle Malkin as one of the backup dancers?
Finally watched it and this amazed me:
PROOF that Auto-Tune can’t fix what’s broke.
I’m always amazed to find out that Pat Boone is not dead.
After seeing this video, I’m not convinced he’s not.
This is the most winningest thread EVAH!
Cleanse palate w/ embarrassment for Pat!
Wait, Pat Boone’s NOT dead? You mean that WASN’T a reanimated corpse we were looking at?
As for the musical number-
sweet lordy-gordy, that was awful. The REAL Joe Jones had a passable voice at least. But what was up with the costumes?
Let’s see: You got the lead singer, playing a guy famous for one hit he had in 1960, sporting a giant Afro the James Brown would have found laughable.
The other guys are sporting a mullet and a ’70’s porn star look.
The woman are dressed like a Mowtown girl group.
And the less said about the choreography, the better.
The outstanding irony of this video is that the only person who seems to have a shred of dignity in it is the President. You look at the footage of him, and then at the cretins bopping around and think…wait-THEY are making fun of HIM?
loozahs.
I am left with one question. WHY?
Let’s thank St. Ronnie of Reagan again for closing the psychiatric hospitals. The internets would not be the same without Roger Simon.
Wow! Creepy old Pat Boone mocking rock and Barack at the same time. That is truly sick and twisted!
Perhaps the worst music video ever made.
Not even close.