Steyn Brings On Teh Funny


ABOVE: Titian, Portrait of Doge Marco
Supremazia Bianca del Canada (ca. 1575)

Shorter Mark Steyn, America’s Shittiest Website™
Four Guys Named Mo

  • Isn’t it freaking hilarious that, just like all black guys are named Leroy, all Muslim guys are named Mohammed?

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™


 

Comments: 344

 
 
 

Yeah it is

(*Weren’t the Four Mohammeds a Yemeni male vocal group from the Fifties? If memory serves, they had the Arabic hit with “Stranger in Paradise”, from their LP Mo-ments to Remember.)

That’s just fuckin’ hilarious alright.

 
 

And I’m sure in Islamofascististan, they get off on all the people in America named John. Or Bob. Or Dick.

 
 

How come books that contain a homophone for “Steyn” in their titles are also about racists, except they are self-hating racists “passing” for white? Hmmm? What does this tell us about the human Steyn himself? And isn’t the use of the word “homophone” in a sentence about Mark Steyn just TO FUNNY FOREVAR?!!?

 
 

Lots of Mexicans named Jesus.

 
 

Or Bob. Or Dick.

I think they’re more concerned with Bob on Dick, as well as more interested.

 
 

Someone should quickly check to see if this guy named after an Apostle has any Peter, Paul, and Mary records before he starts throwing stones.

 
 

That might be because Mohammed is their version of Mark. Kind of because it is a big name in the religious text they follow. Kind of like how many of the male names popular in America and England are based on the english translations of the names of the apostles, names such as John or…Mark.

I know, crazy a-rabs, right?

 
 

On the other hand, nobody wants to name their kid Mark if their last name is Steyn. The stigma is worse than Hitler.

 
The Non-Lester The Giant Ape Memorial Barbecue
 

Off-topic slightly, but the Right is on to our vast conspiracy:
http://hillbuzz.org/2010/01/29/an-open-letter-to-anyone-attacked-by-trolls-and-puma-hunters/
Keep it on the down-low. We’ll meet by the Tree of Liberty at midnight, water it with the usual mixture, and decide how to proceed.

 
 

For example: juggler marksteyn on Twitter says he’s ” Not even remotely that Mark Steyn. “

 
 

Unless Mark Steyn the Other can keep five balls in the air, he has no business calling himself a juggler.

 
 

balls …juggle…teabaggers… There’s something there but I can’t quite put my finger on it…

 
 

Y’all could have some fine socialest funded nanny state cradle to grave funded database oriented fun with this here thingamajig.

I can’t decide if Mark’s middle name should be “The Shit” or “The Human.”

Perhaps both!

 
 

Refreshing the NRO link to catch the inevitable update: “Some far left alleged humor site tries to take me to task for my Mohammad comment by pointing out America’s own share of common names. Yeah, well…FALSE EQUIVALENCE!!!!!!11!”

 
 

Someone’s been ba-a-a-a-ad…

This unified theory of Hillary supporter oppression is missing some groups. You forgot about ACORN, that plant Orly Taitz (you know that Rahmbama-Eamonn Axelouf are paying her to make Odummy critics look bad, don’t you???), and Goldman Sachs. Once the true scope of this conspiracy is exposed, the silver-tongued imposter’s government will be toppled, the Bohemian Grove will burn, and the Bildenburg Group will resume control of the global financial system. I’m privy to the details of how this will play out as I’m an infiltrator in the Oba-fraud administration, and I’ve seen Obeelzebub’s secret presidential orders modifying the Presidential Succession Law of 1947.

 
 

Two balls in the mouth is worth five in the air.

 
 

Swiped from Lester’s HillBuzz link, btw. Such a nice piece of work, it just seemed to cry out for memorializing before the censors caught on and zapped it. It actually got serious responses.

his secret amendment to NSPD-51 will put in place an individual who will restore the Bildenburg Group to its rightful place. Only then will the disastrous errors of the Bush-Obama cabal be righted.

Heh!

 
 

I always thought Steyn himself was a big ‘Mo.

 
 

Hilarious!! Or I should say “Hillaryarious”!!!

From the comments:

I am so glad to see you fighting. I am proscuting the Obots who set my tree on fire back in July of 08. We have to make these people stop this sort of behavior when they set my tree on fire it could have caused several houses all with children to burn. They didn’t care they wanted me to take my PUMA signs down and stop bashing Obama.
They caught the men finally and I am waiting for their trail to start.
Keep up the fight Boyz

 
 

I’ll never forget the famous comedy trio of Larry, Curly and Mohammed. Curly would say “Woop! Woop!”, Larry would poke him in the eyes, and “Mo” would cut off both their heads. Good stuff.

 
 

This is a great opening paragraph:

Going Rogue: An American Life
By Sarah Palin
(HarperCollins, 413 pages, $28.99)

What’s not to like about Sarah Palin — for a conservative or a Republican? Her autobiography makes it abundantly clear why the liberal United Nations-hugging big-government socialist fascist gangster capitalist atheist God-hating running dogs don’t like her. But conservatives?

 
Mary, the Mother of God
 

Let’s see, in America the last name is called the “surname” and the first name is called the “Christian name.”

So what’s St. Mark’s point again?

 
 

I can’t decide if Mark’s middle name should be “The Shit” or “The Human.”

I checked several sources (2) and there was no mention of Steyn’s middle name. I’m pretty sure it’s Richard.

 
 

We’ll meet by the Tree of Liberty at midnight, water it with the usual mixture
I will reluctantly force myself to drink quantities of beer so as to provide my share.

 
 

I always thought Steyn himself was a big ‘Mo.

Your wish is my command.

 
 

On the other hand, nobody wants to name their kid Mark if their last name is Steyn. The stigma is worse than Hitler.

“Eee wye enn, mein Fuehrer. Dutch ancestors on the mother’s side.”

 
 

Isn’t “Mark Stain” redundant?

 
 

I’m pretty sure it’s Richard.

After Saint Richard of Chichester, of course. A godly, Christian man.

 
 

Off-topic slightly, but the Right is on to our vast conspiracy:

Got on the boat, and ZOMG! PUMAs going to Breitbart to vent their spleens?

 
 

The Breitbart thread is hilarious (hillary-ous?) I love how the author explains that PUMA stands for “People United Means Action”. I seem to recall that they were the ones who declared “Party Unity My Ass”, determined to see McCain win the election if they couldn’t have their candidate.

 
 

There’s a cute joke at the beginning of David Zucker’s An American Carol

I call bullshit.

 
 

I can’t decide if Mark’s middle name should be “The Shit” or “The Human.”

Why choose when you don’t have to, I always say.

Henceforth, he shall be known as Mark “The Human Shit” Steyn.

 
 

If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice, Jennifer.

 
 

Got on the boat, and ZOMG! PUMAs going to Breitbart to vent their spleens?

Got shout-outs from InstaStupid, Michelle Merkin, and Robert Stacy McRacist to boot:

http://www.rumproast.com/index.php/site/comments/a_faq_about_hillbuzz_vs._rumproast_and_me/

Yeah, that’s a sure sign of a right-wing ratfuck operation.

 
 

Come on, if Iris is on Breitbart, you must acquit.

It makes no sense!

 
 

I’m pretty sure it’s Richard.

Dick Steyn has a certain ring to it.

 
 

Fresh stupid:

http://althouse.blogspot.com/2010/01/i-want-to-acknowledge-our-first-lady.html

Let’s put to the side the fact that Michelle Obama has chosen — as her signature issue — telling us our kids are fat. (I mean, thanks a lot. Laura Bush was all about telling kids to read. Why did Michelle go with “you’re fat”?)

Lots of high-quality photo analysis, too – you know, kinda like BAGnewsNote, only stupid.

 
 

Althouse fancies herself to be quite the decoder of body language and facial expressions, does she not?

 
 

It’s amazing how much they loathe Obama. And for what? What has actually happened in this past year that would NOT have happened under President McCain?

Cash For Clunkers.

Plus: McCain would have bombed Iran during the election riots.

So much hatred, for that?

 
 

Hatred for “other”. Liberals are not conservatives.

 
 

It’s amazing how much they loathe Obama. And for what? What has actually happened in this past year that would NOT have happened under President McCain?

McCain would have had a stroke because of all the shit he had to deal with, especially when his policies would have made things far worse; then we be sitting here with President Sarah and the First Dude calling the shots.

For some, a nightmarish vision of apocalypse; for Republicans, morning in America.

 
 

It’s amazing how much they loathe Obama. And for what?

Interesting question, which ties in with some thoughts I had about the Republican caucus retreat slapdown. Which now that I have a blog, I’m gonna post over there, but I will whore it here when it’s posted, oh yes, I will.

 
 

Fresh [althouse] stupid:

Freshly posted in her comment thread.

I can see why you’d be offended, Ann. I mean, how many people keep telling you you’re an alcoholic, but will you listen? Of course not. No self-respecting alcoholic ever does.

 
 

Let’s put to the side the fact taht Laura Bush has chosen-as her signature issue-telling us our kids are dumb. (I mean, thanks a lot. Michelle Obama is all about telling our kids to exercise. Why did Laura go with “You’re dumb”?)

Holy shit, that was easy.

 
 

I can see why you’d be offended, Ann. I mean, how many people keep telling you you’re an alcoholic, but will you listen? Of course not. No self-respecting alcoholic ever does.

Win!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 
 

Paul over at Althouse’s whine bar said…” I think that ultra-gloss lipstick Michelle wears is not flattering.”

I thought the exact same thing about Laura Bush’s vampire red lipstick. it was the only one she ever wore. Hideous!

 
The Kid from Kounty Meath
 

You know who ELSE had something unflattering on the lower half of their face?

 
Smiling Mortician
 

PUMAs going to Breitbart to vent their spleens?

Well, yeah, but they’re not real PUMAs. That is, they are, probably, but not the real real PUMAs but rather the, y’know, *wink wink* PUMAs.

Shit. Actual groups of real people who are entirely fictitious confuse me.

 
A concerned citizen
 

We’ll meet by the Tree of Liberty at midnight, water it with the usual mixture, and decide how to proceed.

Brawndo: it’s got what democracies crave.

 
 

dammit Jennifer, if you’re gonna whore the new blog, can we morans who forgot to bookmark it and have short term memory deficit have a link or something?

 
 

Hey, just because our nmes are ‘mo-ish’ doesn’t make us all terrorists.

It makes some of us more like stooges.

 
 

Well, yeah, but they’re not real PUMAs. That is, they are, probably, but not the real real PUMAs but rather the, y’know, *wink wink* PUMAs.

The “real” PUMAs are pretty sketchy themselves, as far as I’m concerned.

 
The Non-Lester The Giant Ape Memorial Barbecue
 

but I will whore it here when it’s posted, oh yes, I will.

Jennifer, you whore like nobody else. I respect that in a woman. That, and smelling like bacon.

 
 

Hey, just because our names are ‘mo-ish’ doesn’ make us any more like terrorists than it does like stooges.

 
 

Althouse goes all po-mo, leaves content behind, drops off the end of the earth, from LG&M.

 
 

Will the “real” PUMAs please shut up?

 
 

Well, yeah, but they’re not real PUMAs. That is, they are, probably, but not the real real PUMAs but rather the, y’know, *wink wink* PUMAs.

Shit. Actual groups of real people who are entirely fictitious confuse me.

Poe’s Law. Ain’t it a bitch.

 
 

The Breitbart thread

the dead giveaway with this thread is that it promotes a video that, while it claims to be a message from people that voted for obama and are now “disappointed”, moves quickly to the most obviously wingnutatious of anti-progressive talking points imaginable

these PUMAs don’t sound at all like real hillary-supporting PUMAs to me, nuh-uh

 
 

A coworker asked how she ought best to answer her 4-year-old’s question, “Why does (her uncle) say mean things about the President?”

I suggested, “Some people only like vanilla, sweetie, and chocolate makes them very, very afraid.”

 
 

say mean things about the President

and when did this awful habit of promoting corrisive and melodramatic lies about the president of the united states get started?

about 1790

and it has never stopped…

 
 

Nice ‘shop. Steyn looks remarkably like “Don’t” Douthat. Separated at birth?

 
 

Let’s put to the side the fact that Michelle Obama has chosen — as her signature issue — telling us our kids are fat.

Aw, poor Annie feels left out. Don’t worry, hon, we all know that when you sit around the house you really etc etc.

 
 

these PUMAs don’t sound at all like real hillary-supporting PUMAs to me, nuh-uh

They’re saying pretty much the same crap about Obama that the right-wing said about Hillary & her socialist Hillarycare, yada yada. Hmmmm.

 
 

Okay, these four Hasids walk into a bar and they’re all named Stein… except one has changed his last name to Yutz.

 
 

Yutz

eh, m’sieu, you mean to cast asperges on mah yutz, eh?

 
 

http://roostershamblin.wordpress.com/ would you please spend a few minutes of your time and check out my new blog. I am a farmer who has been raising more than 50 breeds of chickens for forty years.

 
 

Wow. A chicken blog. Gotta love the internet.

 
 

doesn’t have anything on Disapproving Rabbits.

http://www.disapprovingrabbits.com/

 
 

raising more than 50 breeds of chickens for

big bucks?

buck!

buck!

buKAWWWW!

 
 

There’s also a fucking weather web site.

http://thefuckingweather.com/

 
 

I respect a man who treats his meat source well, unlike despicable factory farmers.

Go chicken blogger!

 
 

Althouse fancies herself to be quite the decoder of body language and facial expressions, does she not?

Remember the onion rings? Good times….!

 
 

There’s also a fucking weather web site.

too bad they don’t have a fucking iPhone app.

 
 

I am a farmer who has been raising more than 50 breeds of chickens for forty years.

I gotta admit, the link is more tempting than anything that Josh Fulton puts up.

 
 

So the City of Vancouver and provincial government are telling citizens how they should dress and behave during the Olympics when the rich tourists descend. They don’t care about the homeless, the lack of affordable housing, the appalling cuts to public health care, 30% rent hikes for seniors living in long term care, layoffs of doctors, nurses, teachers…but heaven forbid we offend a tourist during the five ring circus that’s costing billions!

 
 

i mean to refer to this blazingly obviously wingnut-generated video

God help me, I had to snark on this:

0:01 “A Message to Democrat Pols”
You’d think someone so concerned with the state of the Democratic Party would use the proper term. Oh well…

0:06 “On November 4, 2008… We gave you power.”
See what happens when a group of butthurt and slightly insane people have delusions of grandeur?

0:14 “In the House. In the Senate. And in the Oval”
Wait, we control stock car racing now? Schweet! Can’t wait to see Jimmy Johnson behind the wheel of the Daily Kos Ford in the Daytona 500.

0:21 “We voted for hope. We voted for change.” (with requisite Fairey Obama posters)
Re-he-heally? ‘Cause last I heard, these people were either abstaining or voting for McCain, y’know, ’cause Obama was black didn’t bow to Hillary.

0:47 “Balance would be restored”
Soooo, Barack Obama=Anakin Skywalker?

1:14 “So we elected you. We regret it.” (interspersed with pics of Reid, Pelosi, and Obama)
I have a regret brewing myself…

1:21 “So in 2010, You. Will. Lose. Big” (words flying over your head Michael Bay-style”
If I see John Cusack flying a plane between toppling giant Obama statues, I swear to God I’ll go postal!

1:25 “No more taxes. No more spending. No more socialism.” (subliminal O sign to hammer and sickle)
NO MOAR WIRE HANGARS EVERRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!111!!1!

1:31 “We tried to warn you. But you wouldn’t listen”
(as Stinky Whizzleteats) I told ya I’d shoot, but ya didn’t believe me! Why didn’t ya believe me?

1:35 “So now you will pay. Why?”
Well, first of all, I think I’ve already done quite enough penance you might think I need over the past 95 seconds. Second, as to “Why?” I guess it’s because Obama failed to magically produce chocolate flavored rainbow leprechauns on January 21, 2009.

1:38 “FREEDOM”
Heyheyheyheyheyyyyyy… who let Mel Gibson in here?

1:40 “You’re a THREAT”
You, ahh, misspelled “treat”.

1:41 “To our economy. To our health care. To our individual liberties.”
Yes! Yes, I salute them, too. And if Democrats show any spine, we might actually preserve them against “concerned citizens” like you.

1:46 Quick shot of the flag, the Statue of Liberty, and… theatre masks?
What. The. Fuck?

1:48 “You bet”
I KNEW IT! Sarah Palin, put down the Premiere Pro and step away from the computer.

1:49 “the farm. Government takeovers. Bailouts. Liberal policies.”
Jersey Shore. Hulk Hogan. The Arizona Cardinals. That “PAnts on the Ground” guy.

2:05 “Tax. Spend. Redistribute.”
Lather. Rinse. Repeat. There you have the opening groupchant for the Tea Party Nation convention.

2:11 “We’re BROKE”
Damn! And I was gonna ask you to spot me a $20 ’til payday.

2:21 “+10% Unemployment”
And I roll a 7 and an 8. I block your troll charm and pull a Common Sense potion from my Pack of Holding.

2:24 “And now you want. Our health care?”
I just want your sex. I want your love. C-c-c-c-c-c-come on!

2:31 “Backroom deals. Payoffs. Blatant and shameless BRIBES.”
(as Karnac the Magnificent) Name three ways a Fox News personality pays for sex.

2:37 “We’ve had enough.”
I feel ya, dawg. But I’m gonna stick this through to the end.

2:41 “We’re taking our country back”
…to the future! (cue Huey Lewis song)

2:46 “We’re coming after YOU”
Well, every parade needs someone to follow the horses.

2:56 “AMERICA RISING”
Finally! After 234 years, it’s about time we got our act together.

Jiminy Christmas! That was painful.

 
 

Apologies for the logorrhea, guys, but I had to do a blow-by-blow snark on the PUMA video.

 
 

Poultryblogwhoring? In my Sadly, No!?

It’s more enjoyable then you think.

Now I know not only the shocking truth (AROO BREAKING AROO AROO) of the poultry conspiracy to replace cats & dogs but also their hideous occult cannibalistic rites! The NRO could learn a thing or three from Rooster Shamblin! What can I say … my brain’s an omnivore.

Titian, Portrait of Doge Marco
Supremazia Bianca del Canada

Sorry there, eh?

Not that he doesn’t have dipshit fanboys in Canuckistan – LOL DOMINION OF MILK IN BAGS LOL – once you’ve re-elected both this con-artist & his ideological bastard clone, you’ll export ANYTHING.

Your wish is my command.

Not to knock on the post art – it gives Frankensteyn a distinct cuteness that both he & his writing utterly lack … but I like this more.

 
 

his ideological bastard clone

When Harper writes his “memoirs” he’ll have to title it Going Prorogue.

 
 

There’s a cute joke at the beginning of David Zucker’s An American Carol in which the Osama wannabe, staking out a scene with his men, calls over his shoulder to one of his minions: “Mohammed!” And approximately 78 of them shout back, “Yes?”

Mark Steyn, ladies and gentlemen! He’ll be here all week. Try the goat.

 
 

And the most common last name in the world is Chen, but just how many Mohammed Chen’s are there?

 
The Non-Lester The Giant Ape Memorial Barbecue
 

Badger, that was a masterwork. If this was a forum, I’d flag that to stay at the top of the page.

 
 

LOL Rooster Shamblin was over at Kissing Suzy Kolber as well. I should check the comments at my blog.

It’s actually kinda neat. I know more about chickens after 30 seconds of surfing his blog than I ever thought I’d know. So I got that going for me. Which is nice.

 
 

i’m gonna start a social networking platform for disappointed idealists and angry right wing hero-followers, called “bitter”. a communication on it will be called a “bleat”

 
 

i’m totally in favor of any blog that promotes “chicken intelligence”. if george bush had had more of this we wouldn’t be in the fix we’re in…

 
 

George Bush has more of ‘turkey intelligence’. You know, the kind where they stare up at the falling rain, with their mouths open, until they drown….

 
 

2:24 “And now you want. Our health care?”

WTF?

They think Obama and the Democrats in Congress want to take away the health care they don’t have by giving them [marginally, due to the watered down bill] better access?

Are they fucking insane?

I mean – even though I am sorely disappointed in the goddamn bill, at least if it passes, I know I will be able to cover my 21 year old kid a few years longer with my dependent coverage, thanks to the fucking lousy goddamn bill.

What the fuck to they think they PRESERVE by staying with what they have now?

Are they fucking shitting me? I work for a lefty public employer and have a so-called “Cadillac” plan. And you know what? My employer is talking to our bargaining units about “cutting benefits.”

You know what the fuck that means. And if my pussywhipped lefty public employer is doing that, what do you suppose the corporate private guys are doing?

“Now you want out health care” my ass – you stupid motherfucker, your goddamn boss is going to take it away from you within 5 years, if we stay the same way we are now.

fucking idiot.

 
 

George Bush has more of ‘turkey intelligence’. You know, the kind where they stare up at the falling rain, with their mouths open, until they drown….

Hmm….maybe we can talk about Palin-style “turkey intelligence” when they allow themselves to be stuffed upsidedown into aluminum funnels to have their throats cut, while Caribou Barbie blathers about how much “fun” this is.

 
 

Oh, hells.

How much wine have I had?

 
 

The Red Badger of Courage said,
February 1, 2010 at 4:46

Sir or madam, I salute you. That was very well done.

 
 

Ummmm. maybe the reason Michelle is telling us our kids are fat is because……THEY’RE FAT.

Yeah Laura told them to read, all right—so they wouldn’t grow up and sound like her husband. But all that sitting around reading, y’know, doesn’t burn too many calories.

With 2 out of 3 people in this country now medically obese, and one in 3 kids born in the year 2000 destined to be diabetic, I would say Michy’s hit upon a timely issue. But what do I know?

 
 

Althouse fancies herself to be quite the decoder of body language and facial expressions, does she not?

I ate an onion ring today. But not really. Ya know what I mean?

 
Quivering Quim (In Drag)
 

@Lesley

Yeah, I saw some of that stuff starting to go down when I visited Vancouver, BC this past summer.

Vancouver impressed me by being fabulous, relatively safe and friendly to the tourist, and while they had a wino/crackhead district, like every city, the problem seemed fairly well managed/contained. Going Full Republican (remember Philly!) on the poor/homeless/layabouts seemed gratuitously nasty and a little sign–as if anyone needed one–that maybe the “Olympic visitor” is a giant elitist douchebag who really deserves to be shot by Sandinistas and carted off to the dump, not tea-bagged and salad-tossed by fawning local magistrates. Fuck the Olympics.

I was also non-plussed when some tourguide tried to impress me by saying that some cookie cutter highrise hotel had a “Princess Diana” suite–excuse me, I’m from that country that had the Revolution, remember that? Why should I give a fuck about some poncing wealthy welfare family and their spawn? (Oh yeah, and I’m Irish anyway. FUCK the British royal family.) Fuck them.

Oh, and no thank you for starting up that fricking Portland–Vanc, BC train TWO WEEKS after I went, so I had to transfer in Seattle to “thru-way” bus, oh how scenic, lemme ride on an interstate highway and make a pit stop at a sleazy duty-free store on the border. Fuck that noise. (And yes that was BC’s fault not Amtrak’s because SHUT UP–No really, it was BC’s fault. They said it would cost them a hajillion dollars to have customs officials on the inbound train. Because they only screen visitors on trains, not in cars or in airports. Right.)

Obambi just gave Wash State half a billion to enhance Cascades service. Step it up, Canucks.

 
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon
 

I seem to recall Arnold Schwarzenegger and the first iteration of Bushes being very concerned with the fat children we had back in the early 90s. And from what I hear, our kids of just gotten fatter and less healthy since.

But oh no, Michelle Obama called the fat kids fat, so now they’re not really fat, and what gall does that woman have, harumph harumph uppity uppity.

 
 

Lesley said,

February 1, 2010 at 4:28

http://www.fuckingrepublicans.com domain is available.

Maybe one day we hear the other side of the various republican sex scandals. Atleeast the ones that involve people instead of animals or wetsuits.

 
 

Reference to “An American Carol” drove me right back into the boat. Cum Steyn’s been typing with one hand again.

 
 

…and if they were all name Yusuf?

…and were indoor water fitting engineers??

 
 

late to this party, as usual, and i havn’t read the rest of the thread, but does anyone approvingly quoting Baron Dickhead @ GoV not need to hang his head in shame…

 
 

I seem to recall Arnold Schwarzenegger and the first iteration of Bushes being very concerned with the fat children we had back in the early 90s. And from what I hear, our kids of just gotten fatter and less healthy since.

But oh no, Michelle Obama called the fat kids fat, so now they’re not really fat, and what gall does that woman have, harumph harumph uppity uppity.

See, Arnie and the Bushes (another comedy team?) just wanted kids to bulk up so when it came WOLVERINES!!!11 time they’d be able to rise up and cast off their Soviet oppressors and conquer the world for clean white kids and etc and also.

While Ms. Obama is a icky you-know-what liberal who’s furthering her husband’s dark Satanic plans to destroy America by insulting their kids, or something like that.

 
 

While Ms. Obama is a icky you-know-what liberal who’s furthering her husband’s dark Satanic plans to destroy America by insulting their kids, or something like that.

I always thought Allan Bloom was a satanist.

 
 

So the City of Vancouver and provincial government are telling citizens how they should dress and behave during the Olympics when the rich tourists descend. They don’t care about the homeless, the lack of affordable housing, the appalling cuts to public health care, 30% rent hikes for seniors living in long term care, layoffs of doctors, nurses, teachers…but heaven forbid we offend a tourist during the five ring circus that’s costing billions!

and your surprised why? Teh olympics long ago ceased to be anything about sport, but just one big corporate fuckfest and swing dick competitions for mayors…

 
 

I DRIVE A TRUCK!!!

In a six-day span just before the US Senate election, Republican Scott Brown collected nearly $450,000 from donors who work at financial companies, a sign the industry is prepared to spend heavily in the upcoming midterm elections to beat back new controls and taxes President Obama wants to impose.

The donations, from hundreds of financial executives, far exceeded what Brown received from doctors and others in the health care industry in the final days of the campaign. While Brown saw donations from all quarters explode in mid-January, as polls showed him closing fast on opponent Martha Coakley, the donations from financial workers coincided with several key developments that would affect their companies.

Teatard powers, ACTIVATE! Form of, a MALE CENTERFOLD!

 
 

They’re going crazy at Atlas Juggs about an OFA flier somebody handed out at an Ohio school. The freepers are going nuts also.

 
 

I fell out of the boat. Stupid me.

I’m still trying to figure out what the hell the point of Mark “Dick” Stain’s article was? There’s a lot of Muslims named Mohammed?

Jesus, Dickstian! There are a lot of crackers like yourself named Mark. Or, John! Or, James!

Whatever! Who reads this shit anyway? Does someone in the NRO subscribership sit down with coffee, crack open Dick Stain’s latest article, and go ‘hmmmm? Lots of muslims named Mohammed this morning. Maybe . . . that’s how I tell which ones they are!”

Gawd. I have this mental image of Mark Dick-Steyn at his desk with a feed bag fitted over his mouth, and he’s puking in it. They cut it open, let the puke splat on the page in front of him, and print THAT.

 
 

Are all Jews named Steyn?

 
 

except one has changed his last name to Yutz

Scuse MAH yutz!

 
 

i’m gonna start a social networking platform for disappointed idealists and angry right wing hero-followers, called “bitter”. a communication on it will be called a “bleat”

Post-modern blart, FTW!

 
 

#

actor212 said,

February 1, 2010 at 18:38 (kill)

Are all Jews named Steyn?

Well, Oy!Tube has this.

 
 

God help me, I had to snark on this

He won’t help you … but hell’s bunions, going by the fisking tutorial you laid down up yonder, perhaps He should be hitting you up for some help with His storyline instead!

Everyone’s a critique, but … I think He really chumped the plot out by around the onset of the Industrial Revolution, & that Glasnost was nothing more than pulling a planetary four-leaf-clover out of his omni-assedness, His smirking “hey, I meant to do that” belied by any hint of a second such serendipitous fluke ever echoing it.

 
 

They’re going crazy at Atlas Juggs about an OFA flier somebody handed out at an Ohio school.

First part amkes perfect sense; “They’re going crazy at Atlas Juggs” is pretty much S.O.P. over there.

What’s an OFA, though, and why the crazy over it?

 
 

2:31 “Backroom deals. Payoffs. Blatant and shameless BRIBES.”
….
In a six-day span just before the US Senate election, Republican Scott Brown collected nearly $450,000 from donors who work at financial companies

Republicans, fixing what they broke by breaking it into even tinier pieces.

 
 

THIS OFA?

My, but they’re just on the cutting edge of outrage, aren’t they.

 
 

…and think of all the Johns in the U.S., and all the johns who confuse everything because they are not John. It’s not John Doe without a reason. John Dillinger, John Sununu, Johnny got his gun, Johnny come lately, John Yoo, the john, Johnny Appleseed, Johnnie Walker, John Deere, Porta-john, Johnny Reb, and there are also the subversive Johns who spell their name J_o_n, (abbreviation for Jonathan,) and others who pronounce Jon as Yon. There are so many bad Johns that we may as well round all of them up and put them in camps where they won’t be able to do harm.

 
 

Atrios linked to this article about Colorado Springs. Sounds like the ultimate Randian paradise – low taxes, no public services, and poor people can go fuck themselves, please:

This tax-averse city is about to learn what it looks and feels like when budget cuts slash services most Americans consider part of the urban fabric.
More than a third of the streetlights in Colorado Springs will go dark Monday. The police helicopters are for sale on the Internet. The city is dumping firefighting jobs, a vice team, burglary investigators, beat cops — dozens of police and fire positions will go unfilled.

The parks department removed trash cans last week, replacing them with signs urging users to pack out their own litter.

Neighbors are encouraged to bring their own lawn mowers to local green spaces, because parks workers will mow them only once every two weeks. If that.
Water cutbacks mean most parks will be dead, brown turf by July; the flower and fertilizer budget is zero.

City recreation centers, indoor and outdoor pools, and a handful of museums will close for good March 31 unless they find private funding to stay open. Buses no longer run on evenings and weekends. The city won’t pay for any street paving, relying instead on a regional authority that can meet only about 10 percent of the need.

“I guess we’re going to find out what the tolerance level is for people,” said businessman Chuck Fowler, who is helping lead a private task force brainstorming for city budget fixes. “It’s a new day.”

http://www.denverpost.com/news/ci_14303473

 
 

Have they decided when to change the name of the place?

 
 

“I guess we’re going to find out what the tolerance level is for people,”

An ambiguous sentence from Mr. Fowler – I guess he means “what people’s tolerance levels are”, but you could also easily read it, given the situation, as “tolerance FOR people”.

Which, if you’ve read Rand, you know is never high for an Objectivist.

 
 

Have they decided when to change the name of the place?

Don’t know, but Ithink “Galt’s Gulch” is already taken. Maybe “Bushopolis?”

 
 

Pere,

Not getting out of the boat (no matter the size of the mangoes), but I assume they’re talking about this OFA, which by itself is enough to stir up the crazy.

If somehow a flier got into a school I can just imagine (and will only imagine) how wound up they are.

 
 

Jesusville would also be suitable.

 
 

I assume they’re talking about this OFA, which by itself is enough to stir up the crazy.

“We want our money back from Wall Street”?

ZOMFG ITS SOCILAISM!11`

(no matter the size of the mangoes)

Veiled breastages reference?

 
 

This story may explain something about the unwillingness of Colorado Srings residents to fully fund their police department:

COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. — Police in Colorado say they arrested a 28-year-old man accused of passing out in a McDonald’s play area and telling his two children to bite the officers who were trying to arrest him.

Colorado Springs police say officers had to use a Taser on Joshua Alger to subdue him Wednesday after he allegedly passed out drunk at the fast-food restaurant.

Police say Alger refused officers’ orders and at one point told his children to “bite the officers’ faces off.”

Police say Alger has a previous arrest warrant for failing to appear in court on a charge of obstructing a police officer. He now also faces charges of second-degree assault on a police officer, resisting arrest, and marijuana possession.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,584199,00.html

 
 

Jesusville would also be suitable.

Gilead?

 
 

Jesusville would also be suitable.

Jesusville would also be suitable.

Perhaps Gay Jesus would be willing to lend a hand:

http://www.RockyMountainCatholicMensConference.com/

 
 

Developing: Don Juan busted for heroin baloons!

The officers found 60 “pre-packaged balloons of heroin and arrested the driver and passenger.”

Police said the passenger in the vehicle was purchasing “three balloons of heroin” from the driver.

Both the driver and passenger were arrested.

Police identified the pair as Ramon Rivera-Islas, also known as Carlos Castaneda, and Sandra Lewis. Their ages and hometowns were not released.

http://www.denverpost.com/news/ci_14262922

Damn drug-dealing hippies and their radical ’60s philosophy.

 
 

Police say Alger refused officers’ orders and at one point told his children to “bite the officers’ faces off.”

“ATTACK THEM, MY MINIONS!”

 
 

“ATTACK THEM, MY MINIONS!”

Why is daddy callin’ us “unyuns”?

 
 

Why is daddy callin’ us “unyuns”?

Veiled Althouse vagina reference?

 
 

Gilead?

In my case, Lungychest.

 
 

Althouse vagina

Certainly not a funyun.

 
 

There’s a joke here available about children and “The Ring”, but damned if I know what it is.

 
 

Althouse vagina

Certainly not a funyun.

…more like a fungus.

 
 

Actual historian challenges Doughy to a debate; will Jonah’s deadlines keep him from accepting?

http://www.hnn.us/articles/122744.html

Just a reminder of what Jonah’s busy schedule is like:

http://tbogg.firedoglake.com/2009/12/29/hello-i-must-be-going-i-cannot-stay-i-came-to-say-i-must-be-going/

 
 

Gilead?

In my case, Lungychest.

Vaporub: the Balm in Gilead.

(OK, now THAT’S obscure…)

 
 

Speaking of drunks and cops. This is the 2nd greatest celebrity mug shot after Nick Nolte. Rip Torn tries to “rob” a bank. A freind of mine wrote the article so I’m giving him some unsolicited blog whoring.

http://www.registercitizen.com/articles/2010/01/31/news/doc4b650c07afe3e509910001.txt

 
 

Althouse vagina

Certainly not a funyun.

Though it does have the greasy crunch of a funyun. It would be irresponsible….

 
 

Actual historian challenges Doughy to a debate; will Jonah’s deadlines keep him from accepting?

This argument was already tattooed across your book, which I read closely and completely. I am glad I did, for negative examples are always useful in class. I believe that, only in this way, will Liberal Fascism “catch on in academia itself.”

Ohno, he din’t! *snapsnap* *fingerwag*

 
 

Though it does have the greasy crunch of a funyun. It would be irresponsible….

I’ve heard tell it smells like one, too.

 
 

This is the 2nd greatest celebrity mug shot after Nick Nolte. Rip Torn tries to “rob” a bank.

When I saw that photo on the news today, it took me a second to realize it wasn’t Rip Taylor.

 
 

Sorry for the double blogwhore today. If I had seen that article earlier, I would have skipped Proctor’s post.

 
 

it took me a second to realize it wasn’t Rip Taylor

“Hey! Can I come in and rob the bank a lil’? Look, I brought a big prop! Laugh, damn you, it’s FUNNY!”

(admittedly influenced by MST3K’s “The Rip Taylor Trio”…)

 
 

Actual historian challenges Doughy to a debate; will Jonah’s deadlines keep him from accepting?

Too fabulous for words.

“ATTACK THEM, MY MINIONS!”

Why is daddy callin’ us “unyuns”?

Mini onions. Cuz you’re tiny.*

Rip Torn tries to “rob” a bank. A freind of mine wrote the article so I’m giving him some unsolicited blog whoring.

Too too weird, but holy crap, he put in his home address!

*tasteless joke removed FOR THE CHILDREN.

 
 

Rip Torn is in Studs Terkel’s Working. A fine example of a badass.

 
 

This is the 2nd greatest celebrity mug shot after Nick Nolte. Rip Torn tries to “rob” a bank.

Poor Rip Torn. All he was trying to do was to expose the bank’s lack of responsiveness to its customers in not letting them have access to their money whenever they needed it. Typical of the Liberal Media to call it a “crime.”

 
 

Always relevant:

Memorable quotes for
“The Larry Sanders Show” Arthur After Hours (1995)

Arthur: This is Scotch whiskey; Glenlivet; single malt.
Arthur: When you die, you’ll go to heaven. You say “Hello” to God, and when God says “Hello” to you, this is what you’ll smell on his breath.

 
 

“Let’s put to the side the fact that Laura Bush chose — as her signature issue — telling us our kids are stupid and illiterate. (I mean, thanks a lot. Michelle Obama is all about telling kids to live healthily. Why did Laura go with “you’re dumb”?)”

OMG ANN. You’re SO RIGHT.

Yeah, late to the party. SHUT UP.

 
 

God damn, and someone already made the exact same joke. I need to be run over with the boat. Carry on.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Too too weird, but holy crap, he put in his home address!

Who’d be crazy enough to stalk a heavily armed drunk with impulse control problems?

 
 

Speaking of repeating, Steyn does a lot of that with his own material:

http://mediaculpapost.blogspot.com/2010/01/mark-steyn-deja-vu-deja-lu.html

 
 

In 2008 State Trooper Roy Dungan followed Torn as he drove a 1994 Subaru Legacy with a Christmas tree tied on top on Route 44.

None of this was particularly weird, of course, except he drove the tree around in July.

 
 

I gotta admit, the link is more tempting than anything that Josh Fulton puts up.

Or that tedious jurassicturkey guy. Hmmm. All. One. Douchebag?

And sure it’s wrong to command your kids to rip the po pos faces off. I don’t like to see young ones involved in that kind of stuff. But what else was the guy to do when our idiotic nanny state’s laws don’t allow us to bring our TEH FUCHING FERRETS into restaurants?

 
 

the double blogwhore

I’m guessing that costs extra and requires a change of sheets.

 
 

None of this was particularly weird, of course, except he drove the tree around in July.

One year we missed the after-Christmas free tree pickup, so we stuck the tree in the garage and forgot about it. The following year, I stuck it out on the curb in the dead of night on the day after Christmas. It was a bit dry.

 
 

I’m guessing that costs extra and requires a change of sheets.

I’m just lucky my insurance is paid up.

 
 

Wait, wait, ok, so I was at the buffet with my friend Edward and when I went back for seconds I saw hit was out of Bacon so I asked “would you like some Mo’Ham, Ed?”

Am I redeemed now?

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Douhat wrote a column on sex ed.

I think he favors an impotence only approach.

 
 

Or that tedious jurassicturkey guy. Hmmm. All. One. Douchebag?

You figger if he’s just trying to get hits for AdSense or something that the chickens would be CRAZY.

 
 

Douhat wrote a column on sex ed.

Chunky Reese Witherspoon wept.

 
 

“would you like some Mo’Ham, Ed?”

Fozzy Bear would be so proud…

 
 

Just a reminder of what Jonah’s busy schedule is like:

“Deadline”…You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

 
 

“Fozzy Bear would be so proud…”

I am forever living in the shadow of my farther.

 
 

I am forever living in the shadow of my farther.

You were an altar boy too?????

 
 

Douhat wrote a column on sex ed.

Dude, that’s just wrong.

“Do as I say, not as I don’t do”.

 
 

“Do as I say, not as I don’t do”.

Come on, that’s not fair. I hear Ross is as hun as a narwhal.

 
 

I hear Ross is as hun as a narwhal.

#insert “Rock Lobster” reference

 
 

I hear Ross is as hun as a narwhal.

Except he suffers from “Floppy Spear” syndrome.

 
 

I hear Ross is as hun as a narwhal.

Actually, that would explain a few things, like how he got such a weird outlook on sex.

He misunderstood “poon” to mean “harpoon”…

 
 

Well it’s got to be better than his column, “On Ed sex.”

 
 

James Hudnall on Avatar:

In Avatar we have the progressive’s favorite kind of traitor. The kind who sells out his own people. Avatar’s “hero” is a Marine who decides alien poontang trumps your entire species. He condemns his planet to slow destruction rather than allow them to continue to over-zealously mine some ore. His own troops, who he was supposed to represent, get slaughtered and the rest of his people get shipped off and humiliated so he can get rid of his puny white body and become a big blue stud. Sounds like the worst case of white guilt/penis envy ever imagined.

 
 

God I hate Douthat. What a doughy squish.

 
 

Portrait of Doge Marco

Git along, l’il Doge…

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Chunky Reese Witherspoon wept.

Nah, she laughed.

 
 

Thank you WordPress fairies!

 
 

In Avatar we have the progressive’s favorite kind of traitor. The kind who sells out his own people. Avatar’s “hero” is a Marine who decides alien poontang trumps your entire species.

Sounds more like a Young Republican at Texas A&M who just got his latest check from daddy…

 
 

Know what John Belushi was in Animal House? A TRAITOR TO HIS SCHOOL.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

I hear Ross is as hun as a narwhal.

#insert “Rock Lobster” reference

Nah, it’s Douhat, so “Soft-Shelled Crab” is more appropos.

Aplogies to Fred, Cindy, Ricky, Kate et al.

 
 

In Avatar we have the progressive’s favorite kind of traitor. The kind who sells out his own people. Avatar’s “hero” is a Marine who decides alien poontang trumps your entire species.

Oh, yeah, like no conservative has EVEREVER betrayed anyone anywhere for some cooch.

And if we’re going to get analytical there’s a whole semester’s worth of baggage in that sentence, from the implied Vietnam reference to the wingnuts once again being all Procrustean w/r/t Hollywood, not to mention the “perverted liberals” trope, the slam against environmental concerns, the ever-popular “why don’t the gooks realize the multinationals are here to HELP them?”, AAAAAAnnd the brand-new Becksian “progressive traitor” meme, fuck you very much FOX News.

 
 

^^^ — “sentence” = “paragraph”.

It’s tough to have to break off in the middle of a thought to attend to the real world. Damn real world!

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

In Avatar we have the progressive’s favorite kind of traitor. The kind who sells out his own people. Avatar’s “hero” is a Marine who decides alien poontang trumps your entire species.

Meanwhile, how about the conservatives’ favorite kind of traitor patriot?

 
 

Yeah, all the Marine would have had to do was to sell the aliens weapons to support a reactionary rebellion on a nearby world and *hey presto* “Avatar” becomes the new favoritest conservative movie evar.

 
 

“Avatar” becomes the new favoritest conservative movie evar.

Better: take the money from selling the weapons and use it to support a right-wing rebellion on a third planet in a different quadrant. INSTANT BOX-OFFICE SMASH!!

 
 

I might have missed it because I was rolling my eyes at that point, but was unobtanium going to save the lives of people on Earth?

 
 

unobtanium

I prefer the term “plotadvancium”.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

I prefer the term “plotadvancium”.

Macguffinum

 
The Kid from Kounty Meath
 

The way you make “Avatar” the favoritest conservative movie ever is keep it exactly as is, but have an epilogue where Stephen Lang’s character gets an airport in D.C. named after him, and then they unveil a statue that makes John Boehner’s preserved head cry.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

He condemns his planet to slow destruction rather than allow them to continue to over-zealously mine some ore.

Jim, Jim, Jim… it’s not real.

I may have to see this movie, it sure is pissing off the righties.

 
 

Sounds like the worst case of white guilt/penis envy ever imagined.

Funny, I thought that was the conservatard reaction to Obama’s election.

Oh, and several hours ago I was, um, interrupted by the cable guy, which caused me to rush-post my last comment, which should have been, “I hear Ross is hung like a narwhal.” And should have been accompanied by the following:

I hadn’t realized how immensely valuable their tusks had been. I was in Greenland as the world economy really began to slide, and it made me think about how we assign worth to certain objects, and why.

http://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/Abigail-Tucker-on-In-Search-of-the-Mysterious-Narwhal.html

And, yes, in case you were wondering, Abigail Tucker is Mrs. Ross Douthat.

That is all.

 
 

I might have missed it because I was rolling my eyes at that point, but was unobtanium going to save the lives of people on Earth?

In the sense that mining the unobtanium was going to greatly profit the company that sent the miners to Pandora, and if they didn’t get it they were likely going to go bankrupt due to all the money and resources they had expended…so I guess if corporations are people then that makes perfect sense.

 
 

“In Avatar we have the progressive’s favorite kind of traitor. The kind who sells out his own people. Avatar’s “hero” is a Marine who decides alien poontang trumps your entire species.”

I don’t get it, is the main character supposed to be Charles Lindbergh or Oliver North?

“I might have missed it because I was rolling my eyes at that point, but was unobtanium going to save the lives of people on Earth?”

Well, I read a Bill Whittle argument back when the Iraq War was in full swing saying that since our entire society was built on oil and couldn’t function without it, it was hypocritical of liberals to say that they wouldn’t shed blood for oil. (Not that the Iraq war was about oil, OF COURSE not and you’re a terrible unpatriotic lousy stinking commie if you say it is, but hypothetically even if it was you’d be a terrible unpatriotic commie for thinking that wasn’t OK.)

Maybe that’s what the the man’s trying to say – that our survival depends on stealing resources so it’s unpatriotic not to. (Course, developing our own energy sources right here at home goes way over the line. So does exploiting foreign resources in a way that respects the locals’ sovereignty).

 
 

OK, WTF?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ypofPUZtxZU

Watergate Jr. imploded…

These are the last days of disco, baby…

These decadent bastards are going down…

It’s like dialogue from a bad 70’s porno. And the giant gulp of water at the end is perfect.

 
 

And, yes, in case you were wondering, Abigail Tucker is Mrs. Ross Douthat.

That is all.

That’s enough, dontcha think?

 
 

so tell me libs, what is the downside of tort reform and increased competition among insurance companies? i’ll wait.

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm?

answer: there is no downside. so how come it scares you guys so much?

free clue: socialism

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

so tell me libs, what is the downside of tort reform and increased competition among insurance companies? i’ll wait.

The inability to sue the motherfuckers who poisoned your kid with cadmium-tainted toys for punitive damages.

Really, moron, you speak of Trojan Horses, but you fall for them every time.

 
St. Kid from Kounty Meath
 

You can’t expect Troofie to have sympathy for anyone who has children, and is therefore capable of getting laid.

 
 

you libs should learn to drop the pretenses and just get real. your own prez knows how to be a good boy and play ball. you guys should learn to follow suit.

 
 

increased competition among insurance companies?

You mean like the public option?

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

You can’t expect Troofie to have sympathy for anyone who has children, and is therefore capable of getting laid.

I’ll put this in terms he can comprehend. Troofie, if tort reform passes, you will be unable to sue the manufacturer who used lead-containing paint on your buttplug for punitive damages when you get lead poisoning.

 
 

God’s Own Truth said,

You don’t exist.

 
 

Just because I said so, by the way. I’m an unemployed, friendless, closeted-gay misogynist whose last visit climaxed, no pun intended, with me indulging my rape fantasies. But I somehow think I can give anyone else advice.

 
 

address my point libs. if your own prez is willing to be a good boy and play ball, why can’t you?

 
 

A straw man is a point now!

 
 

address my pointI’m an attention whore libs

 
St. Kid from Kounty Meath
 

Because unlike wingtards, whose ability to speak after all those hours they spend per day sucking the corpse of Ronald “High Treason” Reagan’s dessicated cock is an inspiration to us all, we don’t decide something is right just because “our guy” does it.

 
 

“your own prez knows how to be a good boy and play ball.”

Wow. Wonder if there was a reference there to the good ole’ days when –

Anyways. Troofie, what’s the downside of having a health care system that covers the entire population and costs significantly less money – as in, for example, the health care system of every other country in the free world?

Answer; there is no downside. So how come it scares you so much?

 
 

Well said, St. Kid.

 
 

hey libs your prez invokes the spirit of reagan constantly. why can’t you all learn to be as smart as that boy is and understand that reagan won the cold war and turned the economy around?

 
St. Kid from Kounty Meath
 

Considering that time you were very obviously jacking off to the thought of war with Iran, why the massive crush on the guy who sold them arms? I mean, I know, the South American nuns weren’t gonna rape themselves, but even so.

 
 

turned the economy around

you fail to notice that it is now pointed the wrong way

 
 

reagan did what was necessary to defeat the greatest evil at the time, which was communism. barry o has said as much. if even your beloved prez is big pimpin’ out regan’s legacy you should all learn to be bright boys like that.

 
China, North Korea and Cuba
 

All hail Reagan defeating the greatest evil at the time!

 
 

“why can’t you all learn to be as smart as that boy”

Initial suspicion confirmed – a bona fide racist in addition to everything else.

 
 

i was the subject of an experiment that amped up my already-blatant white supremacist rhetoric and stripped me of the ability to understand basic fucking capitalization/the proper spelling of the name of the president i’m gay for. i am become ULTRAWINGNUT.

 
 

OK, time to wake up the janitor at Sadly Central and get the next post up. This thread has acquired the Stench of Truth.

 
 

Initial suspicion confirmed – a bona fide racist in addition to everything else.

just like a looney lib to cry racism at the drop of a hat. after the last few weeks i’m the first to admit that barry hussein o is a stone cold pimp. now that we’ve taught him his place i think we might just have a good few years while he keeps our throne warm for us.

 
 

will somebody please turn the economy in a different direction so that it isn’t pointed at me?

 
 

You called him a boy three times and are now reveling in having “taught him his place.” And you’re not a racist. Right, Troofie. You go right on telling yourself that.

I love how you think the White House is a “throne,” too.

 
 

You called him a boy three times and are now reveling in having “taught him his place.” And you’re not a racist. Right, Troofie. You go right on telling yourself that.

I love how you think the White House is a “throne,” too.

jeez i just meant that he’s a bright boy and that now that we’ve got him housebroken he may turn out to be one of the good ones. why are you libs so sensitive?

 
 

I also love to rant about how Europe isn’t snowy-white like God intended anymore, I referred to the president’s prepubescent daughters as “Chicago thugs with nappy hair”, and I’ve referred to immigrants as “spics” multiple times.

 
 

while he keeps our throne

…my estimates show about 12 years until the next Giant Republican Fuckup And Meltdown

 
 

We know what you meant, Troofie. We also know what it means when black people are referred to as “boys” to be house trained like poodles.

 
 

Ronnie Rayguns didn’t defeat communism. It collapsed of its own weight. Gorbachev deserves as much “credit”, if that is the right word, for it. Ronnie also presided over the last “greatest” financial debacle in US history before the current one, namely the savings-and-loan implosion your taxes are still paying for, and made speeches about how we in the US treat terrorists the way we should — as criminals — and give them fair trials. Troofie never learns, does he?

 
 

Bah! Poodles are French, and therefore faggy. I only fuck them when I’m REALLY drunk.

 
 

“your own prez knows how to be a good boy and play ball.”

Even if this were true, we’re not the party of authoritarian fellatio and don’t bow and scrape to the orders of party leaders. And though I’d expect Reagan not to taste all too fresh anymore, I still wish you joy.

 
 

I love how you think the White House is a “throne,” too.

Throne-related extrusion is a big part of every troll’s life.

POOP!

 
 

ok i’m out so if anyone else posts as me they’re just nymjacking. a parting shot i just love how upset you libbies get when i point out that we’ve got your boy trained–all we need to do is crack the whip and he knows his place. so much fun to see your hopes dashed so fast and so hard. how’s that public option looking? lol. how’s closing the detention camps looking? lol.

oh it’s a good year to be me.

 
 

perhaps the wingnut could explain to us HOW ronald raygono “defeated communism”, exactly…

…made a speech about a wall, uh, …

 
 

The funniest thing about people like Troofie is to take things like this and compare it to the lofty rhetoric of GOP leaders talking about how Republicans are the party of racial equality and Lincoln and MLK and company would have been diehard Palinistas.

Then the base rolls around and it’s all Jefferson Davis from there on in.

 
 

Republican Retreat Smackdown makes Boehner cry. Bookmark it.

 
 

Because unlike wingtards, whose ability to speak after all those hours they spend per day sucking the corpse of Ronald “High Treason” Reagan’s dessicated cock is an inspiration to us all, we don’t decide something is right just because “our guy” does it.

GODS DAMMIT YOU PRE-STOLE MY COMMENT.

 
 

given the ironclad certainty of nomination and gushing devotion that “the base” is dedicating to the quitter from wasilla, i can’t imagine that they’ll be too happy when the GOP establishment inisists on somebody on the order of Smiley McMormonpants

 
 

perhaps the wingnut could explain to us HOW ronald raygono “defeated communism”, exactly…

no. Short answers etc.

 
 

i can’t imagine that they’ll be too happy when the GOP establishment inisists on somebody on the order of Smiley McMormonpants

I don’t know I will be able to stockpile enough popcorn for this….

 
 

explain to us HOW ronald raygono “defeated communism

since communism is an economic theory, I imagine it is somewhat similar to how they imagine fighting a war on a tactic….

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

given the ironclad certainty of nomination and gushing devotion that “the base” is dedicating to the quitter from wasilla

I dunno, she seems to be caught up in the flak from the Teabagger Convention brouhaha.

 
 

i can’t imagine that they’ll be too happy when the GOP establishment inisists on somebody on the order of Smiley McMormonpants

That’s why I’m starting to think that Palin is the most elaborate ratfuck operation in history.

 
 

I dunno, she seems to be caught up in the flak from the Teabagger Convention brouhaha.

Oh, she still has a sizeable group of true believers who will tolerate no wrongthink when it comes to Super Sarah. It just proves that the Teabaggers are such a diffuse group that even if one faction settles on a candidate to support, the rest of the movement will splinter into irrelevance.

 
 

Palin’s a grifter who’s only interested in money – her PAC is buying her own books, fattening up that royalty check for her.

 
 

Palin’s such a con-artist she’s not even writing her own Facebook posts. Worse, she doesn’t even read them:

http://www.themudflats.net/2010/02/01/the-many-faces-of-palins-facebook/

On Tuesday, January 26, 2010, Sarah Palin wrote and signed this statement on Facebook:

Women’s Rights groups, like NOW, commendably call out advertisers and networks for airing sexist and demeaning portrayals of women that lead to young women’s diminished self-esteem and acceptance of roles as mere sexed-up objects.

On Thursday, January 28, 2010, Sarah Palin told Greta Van Susteren:

I mean, there are so many offensive commercials out there and, um. There’s commercials out there that belittle women and demean them and make them feel like sex objects and I haven’t heard a whole lot of protest from N.O.W. on that.

 
The Non-Lester The Giant Ape Memorial Barbecue
 

I wouldn’t discount Palin as a contender for the Oval (to quote the teabag video dissected above)… She’s totally malleable, for all this mavericky talk. You just need to manipulate her rather than give her direct orders, which only adds about 35 seconds onto any directive.

But I think it’s more likely we’ll end up with a couple of flash-in-the-penis types like Mitt Ruminant for prez and Brown The Truck Driver for vice, with Palin riding herd on a promise that she’ll be Secretary of State or similar. Not that she knows what that job is. They’ll tell her she’s president of the Congress, probably.

However, I could see a Romney/Lieberman ticket, too. It’s mostly about the psychodynamics at the moment — Palin shows how shallow the GOP bench is.

Insert funny punch line here.

 
 

i think I would be most terrified of Lieberman heading up a ticket. That’s what we should worry about.

It would piss us libs off, too.

 
 

Unfortunately, Lieberman doesn’t drive a truck.

 
 

“Palin’s such a con-artist”

Yeah… and she kind of embodies the phoniness of American politics post-1980, where all you have to do is get up on a pedestal and wave the flag, the cross and apple pie. (I mean those were always good form for candidates, but you weren’t able to get elected on those alone back in the old days).

I did have a faint glimmer of hope in 2008 that Sarah Palin was the right wing finally going too far for the American people, but the last half year seems to indicate no such luck – even if Palin herself never makes it to a high position, someone as empty as she is will. I’m just wondering what the next crisis will look like – sooner or later we’re going to hit a snag that we can’t recover from, and no amount of winking, moose-shooting or “Now watch this drive” heroic poses is going to save it.

 
 

Oh, she still has a sizeable group of true believers who will tolerate no wrongthink when it comes to Super Sarah. It just proves that the Teabaggers are such a diffuse group that even if one faction settles on a candidate to support, the rest of the movement will splinter into irrelevance.

Which ones are the Anabaptists? I would definitely say the more disillusioned, Paulite wing.

 
 

I wouldn’t discount Palin as a contender for the Oval

I would. The negatives are just too obvious and she bad-mouths the press non-stop. A Republican who says nearly nothing you can pin him down on like Mitt Romney is probably the contender.

 
The Non-Lester The Giant Ape Memorial Barbecue
 

Substance, you’re probably right — but we have yet to put the ultimate caricature in the job, like HITLER for example. People really will go all the way to the regret horizon before they’re ready to mend their ways. Until we have a POTUS that makes Junior look like Steven Hawking, we haven’t arrived. Palin fits that bill. Didn’t Vonnegut write a book about this?

 
 

The negatives are just too obvious and she bad-mouths the press non-stop.

Those are considered features, not bugs in Greater Wingnuttistan.

 
 

Bush wasn’t at the regret horizon? He wound up hideously unpopular.

Plugged this the other day though, a review of Palin’s book which seems to fall on your side of the point:

Are there other traits a president should have? […] What about intelligence? Sure, intelligence helps—maybe. Quick, name one presidential decision made in the last 16 years, i.e., during the Clinton (Yale, Yale, Oral Roberts) and Bush (Yale, Harvard) years that you think was either right because the president was intelligent or wrong because he was not intelligent enough. Okay, take your time (oh, and sorry, I meant oral sex, not Oral Roberts).

 
 

Those are considered features, not bugs in Greater Wingnuttistan.

I agree, but Greater Wingnuttistan is not large enough to get someone elected. You need to be something other than odious to a large enough crowd to get you elected.

 
 

You need to be something other than odious to a large enough crowd to get you elected.

You need to be the lesser of two odii.

 
 

Garfield could so beat Lieberman in a general. Not the primaries, though…

 
 

You need to be something other than odious to a large enough crowd to get you elected.

Think “Nixon 1968” and you’ll get the general feel of what the GOP 2012 campaign will be like. In ’68, odiousness was enough. Of course, having Wallace siphen off the (then) Southern Democrats helped.

 
 

Think “Nixon 1968? and you’ll get :

hair on your palms
a sudden urge to bomb Cambodia
indicted
Israelis on your Entebbe

Choose carefully!

 
 

If it’s Palin vs. Obama then Palin loses unless some buildings get bombed.

 
 

Substance, you’re probably right — but we have yet to put the ultimate caricature in the job, like HITLER for example.

Sigh. No one references the classic examples anymore.

 
 

Battling the sea is a lot like the war on terrorism.

Horses in the Senate!

 
 

Horses in the Senate!

We already had Chthulu. Horses are a step backwards.

 
 

If it’s Palin vs. Obama then Palin loses unless some buildings get bombed.

And only if those bombers were proven to be Weather Underground types. More likely it will be the Tim McVeigh/militia/teabagger crowd.

 
The Non-Lester The Giant Ape Memorial Barbecue
 

Oh, McGravitas, have we already forgotten about billion-dollar ad buys? Just reefine odious, win win win.

Bush was not at the regret horizon. Srsly, think Hitler, Chamberlain, Mussolini — that was a trifecta right up the fart pipe of the world. If the Smirkmeister had managed to do all the damage he did, and THEN we were invaded by Mexico and a zombie plague swept the nation, he’d be there.

He was the worst president, no question. But we’re talking about disaster-level management that’s on par with the Schism of Rome, Romulus Augustus, the Spanish Inquisition (unexpected), the French Revolution, the Russian Revolution, the Children’s Crusade — Bush was a small-time piker, and his efforts were dreadful — but not epoch-making.

Regret horizon is Palin becoming president and immediately deciding to round up everybody that talked shit about her and have them executed. Which I could see happening.

That’s odd, I have an erection.

 
The Non-Lester The Giant Ape Memorial Barbecue
 

And Caligula, sorry.

 
 

Think “Nixon 1968? and you’ll get the general feel of what the GOP 2012 campaign will be like. In ‘68, odiousness was enough. Of course, having Wallace siphen off the (then) Southern Democrats helped.

With all respect, Nym, I think you’re off base here. Nixon won in 1968 by hiding his odiousness (odium?), which was easy enough to do with “Look over there! Hippies! Scary black people!”

As for Wallace and the Southern Dems, I don’t think many of them would have gone for Humphrey, who, after all, made his bones as a champion of civil rights. Wallace probably hurt Nixon as much as he helped him.

 
 

Battling the sea is a lot like the war on terrorism.

Take that back! At least I acquired sea shells for all my efforts. That accounts for something.

 
 

once we let your boy barry o up in the house he’s been a pleasant surprise. we barely have to crack the whip at all and he gets it. i’d vote for palin if it were palin vs barry “big pimpin” o, but to be honest in that election we can’t lose.

 
 

Oh, McGravitas, have we already forgotten about billion-dollar ad buys? Just reefine odious, win win win.

I really don’t think there’s any prospect, ads or no. Dan Quayle was not nearly as stupid as she is and he became synonymous with dumb.

 
 

perhaps the wingnut could explain to us HOW ronald raygono “defeated communism”, exactly…

He was there when the gun got too heavy for Gorbachev’s hands.

 
The Non-Lester The Giant Ape Memorial Barbecue
 

Hmmm. Troll mentions “cracking the whip” in re: president of color. Similar to “shoving homosexuality down our throats” meme? Hmmmmmm?

 
 

oh c’mon i’m trying to compliment your boy “big pimpin'” about how quick and easy he learned his lessons once we started laying down the law. can’t i even say something nice about barry o for being one of the good ones?

 
 

oh c’mon i’m trying to compliment your boy “big pimpin’”

Nice to see that James O’Keefe has retained his internet posting privileges.

 
 

With all respect, Nym, I think you’re off base here. Nixon won in 1968 by hiding his odiousness (odium?), which was easy enough to do with “Look over there! Hippies! Scary black people!”

As for Wallace and the Southern Dems, I don’t think many of them would have gone for Humphrey, who, after all, made his bones as a champion of civil rights. Wallace probably hurt Nixon as much as he helped him.

Points well taken, Bitter Scribe.

However my opinion is that we haven’t seen the worst of wingnut ugliness yet. The GOP most likely won’t win with a Nixon ’68 strategy. It maybe their only arrow in the quiver, though.

 
Hunter S Thompson
 

Don’t get me started on Humphrey, the only son of a bitch I’ve ever covered who could give Tricky Dick a run for his money for crookedest creep who ever ran for office.

 
The Kid from Kounty Meath
 

Well, the Republicans in ’68 also had the remarkable good fortune of the most articulate, appealing progressive voices getting shot by crazy guys. Call me overly cynical, but I doubt they can think back to the Ambassador without thinking “We should be so lucky. Also.”

 
 

If it’s Palin vs. Obama then Palin loses unless some buildings get bombed.

Well, I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. But, seriously, does anyone think the standard “Republicans are tougher on terrorists” talking point would actually WORK when it’s Sarah Palin as the Republican?

This is the woman who quit after people made jokes about her. Would anyone in their right mind – even the most hidebound Republican – think she should be CoC in a time of war?

It would be an interesting experiment, to see how that would play out in America’s psyche.

 
 

It would be an interesting experiment, to see how that would play out in America’s psyche.

You’ll need my informed consent first!

 
 

It would be an interesting experiment, to see how that would play out in America’s psyche.

I am America’s Psyche.

 
 

G, I think you’re overestimating the voters. You’re talking about the country that thought George W. Bush – the guy who wet his pants at the thought of serving in a war zone, and ran every single company he ever touched right into the fucking ground – was a qualified and competent war leader and actually reelected him on that platform. No, Palin’s perfectly good material for a “tough on terror” campaign.

 
 

Chris, George Bush dressed up as a hero. That was enough to fool the rubes. But Palin cried and quit when they called her a slutty flight attendant, and she picked a fight with an 18 year old boy and lost. The whole right wing is now defending Poor Her against the meanies who call her names.

If they can change gears and hold her up as the equivalent of Grendel’s Mother, then we’re in some serious delusionary times.

 
 

Steyn also deserves a poke in the eye for his abuse of the title of the Louis Jordan song “Five Guys Named Moe”.

 
 

Chris, George Bush dressed up in a theatrical costume as a fighter pilot, and the rubes loved him. But Palin cried and quit her job after people made nasty photoshops of her and called her a “slutty flight attendent.” The Wingnuts are constantly defending Poor Her as their favorite victim of media meanies.

It would be interesting if they could change gears suddenly and inflate her from the girl whose honor they want to defend into the Grendel’s Mother of war.

 
 

“It would be interesting if they could change gears suddenly and inflate her from the girl whose honor they want to defend into the Grendel’s Mother of war.”

Man… nothing the right does can surprise me anymore, nothing, but I hope to hell you’re right that that’s impossible even for them.

 
 

But, seriously, does anyone think the standard “Republicans are tougher on terrorists” talking point would actually WORK when it’s Sarah Palin as the Republican?

What would matter in that race is who would be disliked more. Just can’t see that being Obama without some obvious disaster to pin on him.

A really shitty economy could be one thing, but the Republicans have painted themselves into a corner on handing out benefits that people need, so I don’t think that’d work.

 
 

Substance – clicked on your link to that review of Palin’s book, and at first I thought it was going to be sublime snark:

What’s not to like about Sarah Palin — for a conservative or a Republican? Her autobiography makes it abundantly clear why the liberal United Nations-hugging big-government socialist fascist gangster capitalist atheist God-hating running dogs don’t like her. But conservatives?

Then I saw that the guy writing it served under Reagan as chairman of the FTC, and he ends up basically endorsing Palin as What America Needs:

Sarah Palin is still young, still blessed with the gifts of determination and resolve and true American grit. She has time to reload. And her best days, like ours, may be yet to come.

Which means that he was being totally serious in that first paragraph.

Words fail me. I think Poe’s law should be repealed.

 
 

He even repeats the “liberal United Nations-hugging big-government socialist fascist gangster capitalist atheist God-hating running dogs” bit, probably because it’s so easy to type.

 
 

Yesterday my giant toad Skip died correctly. When the welder opened Skip up she found a riot shield jammed in Skip’s ear. I’m sure you know a giant toad demands marriage but I had no marriage left.

 
 

Hopefully you didn’t drop your load on the giant toad.

 
 

Oh, and have you hugged your United Nations today?

 
 

Timestamps are funny. Where I am it’s 11:23, yet in the Sadly, NoVerse it’s 9:06.

 
 

Make that 9:07. And I think four posts in a row is a sign of something seriously wrong with me.

 
 

Sarah Palin…has time to reload.

There’s a scary thought.

Everybody run! The ex-governor of Alaska’s got a gun!

OK, I’m out of here. G’night folks, and don’t forget to waste your tipster.

 
 

yr revolution is over, looney libs. the bums lost! CONDOLENCES!

 
 

If it’s Palin vs. Obama then Palin loses unless some buildings get bombed.

Even then, Obama would win. After her recent behavior, she wouldn’t get on the ticket. She is good for getting the knuckledraggers all het up, but beyond that she is a liability, and the powers that be in the GoP know that. She wont even get a sniff of it. Romney and his magic underpants remains the best bet for the GoP.

 
 

Hey, I resemble those ‘Mo’ terrists. Not all us Moe-like people are terrists, some of us are actually more like stooges.

 
 

I wouldn’t rule out the Huckster yet, either. He’d make an interesting bit of balance for that yankee Mitt.

My guess is that someone comes out of the woodwork next year. It sort of has to be that way. All their retreads are damaged.

In other news, I’m trying to figure out what this means.

A Justice Department news release said Jim Letten, U.S. Attorney for the Eastern District of Louisiana, recused himself from the case a day after the Jan. 25 arrests in Democrat Sen. Mary Landrieu’s office in New Orleans.

So, the Bush appointee cuts and runs. I wonder why. Is he worried that if he prosecutes and wins the teabaggers will see him never rise above dog catcher again? Maybe the GOP told him to tank the case and he can’t bring himself to do it, knowing it will be seen for what it is and relegating him to dog catcher as well. Diaper Dave apparently released all the holds he has had on Obama’s appointees in LA that he was threatening to keep unless and until Letten was renominated as USA. Timing’s interesting if nothing else.

I don’t know, but it should be fun to hear what they come up with for the reason.

 
 

For connoisseurs of the American id, the 2012 Republican presidential primaries are going to be a four hootenannies and a hoedown. I fully expect them to forgo the typical debate format and jump right to slapping raw meat on their heads and speaking in tongues.

 
 

So, the Bush appointee cuts and runs. I wonder why.

Funny, I’d read that the father of one of the Plumber Babies was a U.S. Attorney so I assumed the USA recusing himself would be him (which would make sense; you don’t want Dad in charge of prosecuting Li’l Junior) but it’s not the same guy:

Sen. Mary Landrieu (D-La.) told Politico on Wednesday that William Flanagan, an acting U.S. attorney in Louisiana, “most certainly should be” disappointed in his son, who was arrested for allegedly tampering with phones in the senator’s office in New Orleans.

So, yeah, why is Letten recusing himself? Hmm…wrinkly.

 
 

Many of us “Moe-ish” named people take offense to being associated with terraists by this here .

Especialy us that are bona-fide American patriotic stooges.

 
USA Apple Pie Mom
 

All you liberals loving the One and hating freedom, like these curageus young men arrested for giving uis the TRUTH like the TRITH about ACORN, you should just go away, actually you will when we rise above the land from the Heart Land and vote in conservative Republicans and Tea Bag Party into congress forever and Palin/Brown or Bachmann 2012!

 
USA Apple Pie Mom
 

Also, Obama is a socialest and worse than Hitler

 
 

Sarah Palin says Obama needs to get rid of Rahm Emmanuel because STOP MAKING FUN OF TRIG PALIN.

Really.

 
 

Rahm’s slur on all God’s children with cognitive and developmental disabilities

There’s a joke available there about Democratic lawmakers, but I fear to make it for facing the wrath of Caribou Valkyrie. (oooh, scary!)

 
 

From the glibertarian toolshed, shorter English major Amity Shlaes:

“Peyton Manning plays football. And look, tax cuts… See how these ideas hold together! Awesome!!”

 
 

“Peyton Manning plays football. And look, tax cuts… See how these ideas hold together! Awesome!!”

nope… not getting off the boat… nope nope nope.

 
 

we rise above the land from the Heart Land

Someone drank too much Sterno and watched the Wizard of Oz.

 
 

reagan did what was necessary to defeat the greatest evil at the time

And yet Lady Nancy of the Fellatio still lives…

 
 

From the glibertarian toolshed, shorter English major Amity Shlaes:

I got off the boat. Um, is Miss Amity a drooling, incoherent legacy hire that would have trouble writing a shopping list or is it just me? The idea of “connective tissue” between paragraphs seems to escaped her. Or fled with its hair on fire.

 
 

I never trust a writer who can’t spell “Shales”.

 
 

it just me?

No.

I defy anyone to explain what the fuck she is trying to say.

 
 

In Avatar we have the progressive’s favorite kind of traitor.

Yes, while in Reality, the Supreme Court justices appointed by Reagan, Bush, and Bush have just actually sold our nation to the highest bidder, allowing campaign contributions in from foreign corporations.

Wingers know their party is selling America out and betraying us, so they project that onto a fucking movie as if that makes it go away.

Wankers.

 
 

I’m sure it’s been noted and accounted for but, as Avedon Carol points out, this ChristWire piece is a all time classic…

…Many studies have been done on why the gays love The Golden Girls, but science can’t fathom the moral challenges and social upheaval of those historic times. The 1980s was an epoch of President Reagan’s manly wisdom and the terrifying threat of Cold War annihilation. America had sobered up from the flashy lights of 1970s disco. We were skipping all night cocaine and sex parties to focus on our careers. Spiritual leaders like Jerry Falwell were telling us that Christianity was in the majority again. On the other side, there was a subculture of homosexuality creeping up on our youths. It gave them an excuse to wear tight jeans..

http://christwire.org/2009/10/the-golden-girls-how-one-tv-show-turned-a-generation-of-american-boys-into-homosexuals/

 
 

We were skipping all night cocaine and sex parties to focus on our careers.

There’s a kernel of truth here, of course. The 80s saw the Baby Boomers turn 30 and 35, and accept responsibility for families and such, so yes, money became more important.

Indeed, it became the coke of the 80s.

But here’s the thing: we skipped coke parties to focus on our jobs because Reagan and his thugs forced the issue. Income stagnated or worse, fell behind inflation. Women were forced to work to help make up the shortfall in incomes. Families took three and sometimes four jobs.

And coke became expensive. This is why crack was invented, along with crystal meth.

Idjits.

 
 

To contact the writer of this column: Amity Shlaes at amityshlaes@hotmail.com

Dear Amity:

Work on your comity.

 
 

I fully expect them to forgo the typical debate format and jump right to slapping raw meat on their heads and speaking in tongues.

You know, I keep thinking the pubbies can’t out-crazy their last round of primaries and convention, but they’ve managed to – every single time – since 1980. I’m going to go out on a limb and say they’re not ready for the actual raw-meat-slapping yet, but that there will be 18th-century costumes this time.

 
 

Hubert who?

 
 

I was in elementary school in the 60s but I distinctly remember my mother dismissing The Rolling Stones as “nasty” because of their lyrics and their TIGHT PANTS. I fell for those tight pants even if the lyrics were a little incomprehensible and I didn’t know why I couldn’t stop staring at Mick Jagger’s crotch.

The 70s were the real tight pants/short-shorts decade: I had to wear bikini underwear or a jockstrap if I didn’t want to fall out the bottom of my corduroy Stubbies shorts. It certainly got the attention of those whose I was looking for!

The 80s brought legal adulthood and complete debauchery. I did economize by switching to the new drug: crystal. My black jeans were virtually painted on. It’s a wonder I lived to tell the tale.

My pants got looser in the 90s and I settled into frumpy married-queen mode. I switched from meth to cocktails and marijuana, leaving no turn unstoned.

The Oughts were a transitional period: ending that 21-year non-marriage, re-inventing myself, getting and staying sober despite the urge to FTW. My pants were mostly compression shorts at the gym, without the baggy overshorts the straight boys wore, or flared jeans shredded by queer Italian designers.

The current decade has my pants tight around my slim-again, single, still sober body. The destroyed jeans are for cruising the leather bars. The muscles, commemorative tattoos and piercings still put the fear into the tourists from the heartland (Oh dear, he’s looking at us. I hope he doesn’t TALK to us!), but they’re where the judge can’t see them if that situation ever arises again. I’ll probably never sport a purple Mohawk again, but I”m glad that tight pants are back. They never really went away.

 
 

The 80’s were … were ….

Nope. I can’t remember a damn thing. I will presume it was fun.

 
 

The 1980s was an epoch of President Reagan’s manly wisdom and the terrifying threat of Cold War annihilation.

Mostly because of (or at least in spite of) Reagan’s “manly wisdom”.

Which “manly wisdom” brought us 300 dead marines in Lebanon, an entirely unnecessary invasion to distract us from it, arms for hostages, the mining of Nicaraguan harbors and a cheerful contempt for the rule of law and Congressional limits on Presidential powers that still affects us today.

 
 

Nope. I can’t remember a damn thing. I will presume it was fun.

You too?

I wondered who that was on the next cushion in the opium den at Studio…

 
 

Dear Amity:
Work on your comity.

And stop with the homilies.

 
 

I was in elementary school in the 60s but I distinctly remember my mother dismissing The Rolling Stones as “nasty” because of their lyrics and their TIGHT PANTS. I fell for those tight pants even if the lyrics were a little incomprehensible and I didn’t know why I couldn’t stop staring at Mick Jagger’s crotch.

You somehow knew the Golden Girls were coming*, though, so it’s still their fault you’re gay.

Seriously, though, is GG popular with gay folks? With anyone?

*DON’T THINK ABOUT IT.

 
 

You somehow knew the Golden Girls were coming

Where’s that bottle of Brain Bleach®?

*DON’T THINK ABOUT IT.

Sharight…like THAT was going to happen.

 
 

We were skipping all night cocaine and sex parties to focus on our careers.

What means “we?”

Which “manly wisdom” brought us 300 dead marines in Lebanon, an entirely unnecessary invasion to distract us from it, arms for hostages, the mining of Nicaraguan harbors and a cheerful contempt for the rule of law and Congressional limits on Presidential powers that still affects us today.

But but but he got the government under control and took out teh Commies! WOLVERINES!!!

 
 

I feel VERY uncomfortable with Mick Jagger’s crotch and The Golden Girls in such close proximity on this thread.

Hey, you two! Leave room for the Holy Ghost!

 
 

The current decade has my pants tight around my slim-again, single, still sober body.

Not to be Carrie Nation for anyone else ’round these parts but have to offer props to a fellow recovery artiste. Nice, Butch, nice.

 
 

Not to be Carrie Nation for anyone else ’round these parts

Carrie me back to Old Virginity.

 
 

Carrie me back to Old Virginity.

Oh, to be hung again…

 
 

Oh, to be hung again…

 
 

I wondered who that was on the next cushion in the opium den at Studio…

Maybe not. It’s all blurry; I don’t recall the opium den. I do recall hoovering up mass quantities of Halston’s very excellent blow.

 
 

I do recall hoovering up mass quantities of Halston’s very excellent blow.

Hoover…Halston….blow…I remember that, but not in that order…

 
 

There was a time when I was bartending in SF that me and my co-bartender Hoovered so much blow that a small mountain town in Bolivia adopted us. We got a plaque. But no discount, if memory serves.

 
 

But hey, we couldn’t afford coke cuz we were all growed up, right?

 
 

And OT (wev) there is this for folks gnashing the dental parts over the present administration.

http://www.tnr.com/article/politics/the-quiet-revolution?page=0,0

 
 

cuz we were all growed up, right?

Oh yes, absolutely.

 
 

We were skipping all night cocaine and sex parties to focus on our careers.

At least I’m not the only one to think “Ch-ah, somebody missed out on the eighties I (sort of, in a foggy kind of way) remember.

 
 

I jumped out of the boat but bounced off of the water when I came across a man (?) using the word cute in reference to anything besides a puppy, kitten or attractive girl. FAIL.

 
 

“We were skipping all night cocaine and sex parties to focus on our careers”

That is a complete and utter fallacy. Those things didn’t change in the least. The only thing that gives the appearance of some truth to that statement is the rise of the Moral Majority cult, which made religion and moral dogma a political tool instead of just a device used to torture teenagers.

 
 

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