So you’ll be voting for Bachmann then?

Welcome to my political party, “Scorched Earth”.

Yes. She’s the perfect choice. Moose Eater would suffice as well. Also Huck.

My worry is that the GOP will nominate a semi-competent technocrat like Romney who will simply turn us into a full-blown corptocracy. If you’re going to crash this puppy, it’s better to do it hard and fast rather than slow and drawn out.

I don’t even understand why wingnuts get angry about CBS, NBC, et al. Those channels are as dull as porridge. What’s there to hate?

But yeah, Fox News…the final hypothesis in my Theory of American Politics: Scream loudly enough, act stupidly enough, act as motherfuckingly CONFIDENT as possible that your fantasy world exists, and people will eventually come to believe you. People respond to confidence. I’d be less disgusted if I thought that the wingnut crowd was smart enough to be cognizant of proving this theory, but as has been said, it’s more animalistic instinct than anything.

God Damn you , Brad, I was getting all happy over Pimpy and the Lawyer’s Kid getting their asses busted and the apparent anti-Palin resurrection, and then I get this in my lap, like a big steamy albatross turd.

insurrection, not resurrection. Although anyone who hates teh Sarah enough to ruin her campaign qualifies as Jesus in my book.

Well, Fox is the only one that claims to be telling the truth and accuses everyone else of lying.

Yeah, I saw this earlier. How the fuck do you run a country when a substantial number of people believe a propaganda outfit is the only legitimate source of information?

My worry is that the GOP will nominate a semi-competent technocrat like Romney who will simply turn us into a full-blown corptocracy.

Call it the Berlusconization of politics, though perhaps stripped of the Dirty Old Man element. The GOP seeks its Sebastián Piñera.

Yeah, I saw this earlier. How the fuck do you run a country when a substantial number of people believe a propaganda outfit is the only legitimate source of information?

It seems to work well for the Chinese.

Also, I’m still of the opinion that Obama will win in 2012. If you look at graphs comparing unemployment and presidential popularity, the matchup is ridiculous. And things don’t even have to be better, just improving. Things will be better by 2012, and if they’re not, it probably doesn’t even fucking matter who we elect.

It seems to work well for the Chinese.

How the fuck do you run a country democracy when a substantial number of people believe a propaganda outfit is the only legitimate source of information?

Fixded myself.

Also, I’m still of the opinion that Obama will win in 2012. If you look at graphs comparing unemployment and presidential popularity, the matchup is ridiculous. And things don’t even have to be better, just improving. Things will be better by 2012, and if they’re not, it probably doesn’t even fucking matter who we elect.

The rabid chimp has his pulse on the Heartland, baby!

My worry is that the GOP will nominate a semi-competent technocrat like Romney who will simply turn us into a full-blown corptocracy

It doesn’t get much more evil than the British Empire at its slave-powered, genocidal, homophobic, satanic mill heights of global domination. They all fall down eventually.

@FelMonk — yeah he might win but the chances of getting anything big done during his time are all but over. This is why I want them to just pass the damn health care bill, so at least I’ll have SOMEthing to look back on and say, “Welp, at least we got universal health care, goddammit.”

But if not? Ehn. Bring on the collapse!

If the GOP injects a chimp with rabies and puts it on a stump to screech for hours on end we would notice the difference exactly how?

totally relevant and oh, so funny:

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/01/26/us/politics/26teaparty.html?partner=rss&emc=rss

Yeah, the Teabaggers are going to re-make American Politics.

Seems to me as soon as ‘baggers started to win elections, the Corporate Powers were going to snuff them the fuck out. Regardless of how much corporate choad the idiot rabble munch, it’s a greater threat than the politicians they already own.

If the GOP injects a chimp with rabies and puts it on a stump to screech for hours on end we would notice the difference exactly how?

You’re right. And I suspect that the chimp likes them fancy organic bananas that libruls love to eat. Make that bastard sign the purity pledge!!

Anyone here from New Zealand with room in their basement? There’s three of us, and we’re pretty low maintenance. Willing to be token Americans serving as a warning to all mankind in exchange for room, board and meals.

Seems to me as soon as ‘baggers started to win elections, the Corporate Powers were going to snuff them the fuck out.

Yeah that’s going to be amusing. Also it will be fun to hear Fox News telling us that the government is our friend again.

But if not? Ehn. Bring on the collapse!

as long as I get ONE MORE CHECK before, so I can buy a new Apple Tablet….

The most trusted name in TV news, the only one that more Americans trust than distrust, is…Fox!

That’s only because they’re the only ones who’re willing to reveal the truth about the nefarious all-encompassing satanoprogressive George Bernard Shaw plot to destroy Truth and America by controlling the education system, the media and the Intertubes.

That’s only because they’re the only ones who’re willing to reveal the truth about the nefarious all-encompassing satanoprogressive George Bernard Shaw plot to destroy Truth and America by controlling the education system, the media and the Intertubes.

John D. Rockefeller was a commie!!!!!!!!1!1!

John D. Rockefeller was a commie!!!!!!!!1!1!
Well, compared to this shit.

democracy was nice while it lasted

i must have missed it while i was brushing my teeth

I don’t see what the big deal is. The people without sense trust the news, the people with sense don’t. More people without sense watch Fox, so there you go. Be interesting to see trustworthiness based on ranking rather than yes/no.

Cripes.

According to the headline over at MSN.com, Pimp Boy is an “activist filmmaker”.

I suppose that’s one way to put it, if, y’know, you’re willing to shit all over the terms “activist” and “filmmaker”.

And the Marching Morons march on…

If the GOP injects a chimp with rabies and puts it on a stump to screech for hours on end, I will vote for that goddamn chimp.

This is the right wing version of a “Yellow Dog Democrat” – except that for them, the Rabid Chimp Republicans will not settle for less. Senile Chimp? RINO! Schizophrenic Chimp? Liberal!

Rabies: When only contagious insanity will suffice.

zrm, this one’s for you.

Well, compared to this shit.

I agree with everything she says, except for this:

I believe in the market.

Well, I believe in Angelina Jolie’s desire to have deep, passionate sex with me, but that won’t get me laid either.

I will not vote for any candidate who uses words. Words are elitist.

Where’s that Damien kid from The Omen? Didn’t he eventually run for President?

Jan
27 Man, whatever

Posted at 0:00 by Brad

um, are you in, like, yurrip er sumpnin, brad?

um, are you in, like, yurrip er sumpnin, brad?

Supreme Court sez it’s okay.

Willing to be token Americans serving as a warning to all mankind in exchange for room, board and meals.

I’m holding out hope that a European zoo will take me in and put me on display as “The once mighty, but now endangered, American”.

You know who else was a crazy, kooky wingnut? Hitler.

I’ll bet you $5 this kid gets a Fox gig as soon as he gets out of jail.

BTW, that link I posted up there for zrm?

Hilarious.

Stop making fun of Trig Palin.

Stop making fun of Trig Palin.

It’s OK, his mom has officially been designated as a RINO. Anything goes.

BTW, that link I posted up there for zrm?

Hilarious.

Agreed. Love the sign for “zombie.” Also, “eat your brains,” too.

I don’t see what the big deal is. The people without sense trust the news, the people with sense don’t.

Seems about right. People who watch Fox think it’s the gospel truth, people who watch CNN know its bs

And also. Depending on how the question is phrased, I might have to say I trust Fox more than other network news. I absolutely trust that Fox will be lying wingnut bastards, whereas I really don’t know what NBC might do on any given day.

How the fuck do you run a country democracy when a substantial number of people believe a propaganda outfit is the only legitimate source of information?

When did we become a democracy again?

When did we become a democracy again?

When the Suprmem Court decided that corporations were people. Ever since, the “people” have spoken, with their wallets.

Actually, “Suprmem” actually sounds better and more accurate.

Suprmem

yes, many people have been confused by this. actually, it was the superman court that decided that superheros are people too and can use their superpowers to advertise on teevee

the supreme court has been busy this month drinking jagermeister shots in aruba and practising the limbo on an all-winter junket paid for by a “mr exxon”

Wait ’til you see our election campaign for Rabid Chimp.

the supreme court has been busy this month drinking jagermeister shots in aruba and practising the limbo on an all-winter junket paid for by a “mr exxon”

Would it then be impolite to hope that Scalia and company engage in some drunken cliff-diving, say, off their ninth floor hotel balcony?

Time to re-read Seven American Nights, as it seems to portend our destiny.

come on, Jennifer. I’m not a monster.

well, I guess technically I am….

It was great. I love the one with the gaming characters too.

“Pere Ubu said,
January 27, 2010 at 0:25
Cripes.
According to the headline over at MSN.com, Pimp Boy is an “activist filmmaker”.”

Yeah, they’ve also referred to the teabaggers with signs comparing Obama to Hitler as “concerned citizens”. They are neither concerned, nor very good citizens. You know who else was a concerned citizen…Hitler, that’s who. Also shutup thats why.

I like to think that is some sort of sample bias in the poll questions.

I also like to think about sticking my head in a microwave if there’s no sample bias in the poll questions.

Nate Silver, my very being is in your hands.

I’m normally a glass half empty kind of guy, but this poll doesn’t phase me at all. It simply reflects a reality I accepted a long time ago: right wingers are credulous lightweights. If you look at the breakdown, you’ll see that the repugs believe fox in the same way creationists believe the bible, whereas libs are more skeptical of all sources. This is news?

Ah! Yes, Itchy!

Thanks. I needed that.

it is also worth remembering the study that said that people who watched a variety of sources were better informed than the ones who got most of their info from Fox. I would imagine the skepticism of ALL sources feeds into that.

If you’ve got a brain, you no longer trust any news source. If you’ve got NO brane, you trust Fox.

FAUX Nooze, the news broadcaster who sued for their right to lie.
~

idiocracy is prophecy.

ive been saying it for years.

idiocracy is prophecy.

ive been saying it for years.

my god weve lost our ability to spell and punctuate.

Fox News – As fair as a Florida election. As balanced as Ann Coulter when she’s off her meds.

Poll: Public fed up
with Washington
Seventy percent say the government isn’t working well, according to a NBC/WSJ survey

about the same state of mind that led octavian to make things run more efficiently

If the GOP injects a chimp with rabies and puts it on a stump to screech for hours on end, I will vote for that goddamn chimp.

I’m sorry, I refuse to compromise.

The chimp has to wear a ballgown before I’ll give my vote away.

actor is biased against bike-riding chimps.

Do people even watch TV anymore?

A friend forwarded me a study about the media, the Iraq war and America. I’ll try to find the report again, but in a nutshell, there were two trends;

1) The more conservative the media outlet, the more popular it was (Fox being at the top of the list, NPR being the least).

2) The more conservative viewers’ news channels were, the more likely they were to be misinformed about the Iraq war.

Which makes sense – the more sensationalist and propagandist the media outlet, the more enjoyable it is to watch. It just so happens that most Americans prefer to watch the news for entertainment or to have their ego stroked than to actually get information. Just one more reason why we’re so completely out of touch with the rest of planet Earth.

The chimp has to wear a ballgown before I’ll give my vote away.

I’ll see your ballgown and raise you two wetsuits.

This should properly go in the last thread but fcuk it: Teh fukcing pelicans!

Ok, serious point I think this poll is not a representative sample.

Liberal – 14%
Moderate – 47%
Conservative – 39%

Democrat – 36%
Republican – 35%
Ind – 29%

That’s about 10% too conservative, 5% not liberal enough and 5-10% not independent enough and 5% too Republican.

I’m going to poke around a few more recent polls that ask those ideology/party affiliation questions. There’s a reason they say “19 times out of 20.”

If the GOP injects a chimp with rabies and puts it on a stump to screech for hours on end, I will vote for that goddamn chimp.

So why didn’t you vote for Bush?

Pollster’s party ID averages:

Democrat – 32.1
Republican – 23.1
Independent – 37.4

Only Rasmussen has Republicans over 30% or outnumbering Independents.

Ah, I get much closer numbers if I look at the Party ID of “registered and likely voters”

Which would be fine if this poll said “likely voters trust Fox the most” but isn’t so true when you’re talking about all Americans. And the PPP poll was limited to Registered voters.

The prophet has returned from the wilderness!!

How long have I been advocating nihilism, both from that soap-box on the corner, back in the day, & more recently, here on the Internazz?

Huh? How long, people?

And did any of you listen? Oh, no, it’s all: “Let’s call our representatives, they’ll pay attention.” “The system works!” ad nauseum. There’s one born every minute.

*googling* Ah, there you are.

I used to think Idiocracy was a portrayal of our likely future. Now I’m thinking more like The Road.

Maybe more like Idiocracy combined with Groundhog Day, except never ending.

It’s like Ben Affleck’s line from Boiler Room: “Act as if.” You can sell anything if you can “act as if” consistently and confidently.

Now I’m thinking more like The Road.

Nah, Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome, baby! Bring on Masterblaster!

How long have I been advocating nihilism, both from that soap-box on the corner, back in the day, & more recently, here on the Internazz?

I put the nihilist site in my KILLFILE! And every other site is NEXT!

I mean, seriously, can’t you see Mary Landreau on one of these motorcycles?

Special Agent William Seward Burroughs (Codename: CUNTPASTE) reports:

IN LAST RESORT THE TRUTH

The scene is Grants Park Chicago 1968. A full scale model of The Mayflower with American flags for sails has been set up. A. J. in his Uncle Sam suit steps to a mike on the deck.

“Ladies and gentlemen it is my coveted privilege and deep honor to introduce to you the distinguished Senator and former Justice of the Supreme Court Homer Mandrill known to his many friends as the Purple Better One. No doubt most of you are familiar with a book called African Genesis written by Robert Ardrey a native son of Chicago and I may add a true son of America. I quote from Mr. Ardrey’s penetrating work: ‘When I was a boy in Chicago I attended the Sunday School of a neighborhood Presbyterian church. I recall our Wednesday-night meetings with the simplest nostalgia. We would meet in the basement. There would be a short prayer and a shorter benediction. And we would turn out all the lights and in total darkness hit each other with chairs.’

“Mr. Ardrey’s early training tempered his character to face and make known the truth about the origins and nature of mankind. ‘Not in innocence and not in Asia was mankind born. The home of our fathers was the African highland on a sky-swept savannah glowing with menace. The most significant of all our gifts was the legacy bequeathed us by our immediate forebears a race of terrestrial, flesh-eating killer apes . . . Raymond A. Dart of the University Of Johannesburg was the strident voice from South Africa that would prove the southern ape to be the human ancestor. Dart put forward the simple thesis that Man emerged from the anthropoid background for one reason only: because he was a killer. A rock, a stick, a heavy bone was to our ancestral killer ape the margin of survival . . .And he said that since we had tried everything else we might in last resort try the truth . . .Man’s original nature imposes itself on any human solution.’

“The aggressive southern ape suh, glowing with menace, fought your battles on the perilous veldts of Africa 500,000 years ago. Had he not done so you would not be living here in this great city in this great land of America raising your happy families in peace and prosperity. Who more fitted to represent our glorious Simian heritage than Homer Mandrill himself a descendent of that illustrious line? Who else can restore to this nation the spirit of true conservatism that imposes itself on any human solution? What candidate is better fitted for the highest office in the land at a time when this great republic is threatened by enemies foreign and domestic? Actually, there can be only one candidate: The Purple Better One your future President.”

To “The Battle Hymn of the Republic” an American flag is drawn aside revealing a purple-assed mandrill (thunderous applause). Led to the mike by Secret Service men in dark suits that bulge suggestively here and there the Purple Better One blinks in bewilderment.

The Technician mixes a bicarbonate of soda and belches into his hand . He is sitting in front of three instrument panels, one labelled P.A. for Purple Ass, one labelled A. for Audience, a third P. for Police. (Crude experiments with rhesus monkeys have demonstrated that small currents of electricity passed through electrodes into the appropriate brain areas can elicit any emotional or visceral response: rage, fear, sexuality, vomiting, sleep, defecation. No doubt with further experimentation these techniques will be perfected and electromagnetic fields will supersede the use of actual electrodes imbedded in the brain.) He adjusts dials as Homer’s mouth moves to a dubbed speech from directional mikes. The features of other candidates are projected onto Homer’s face from a laser installation across the park so that he seems to embody and absorb them all.

“At this dark hour in the history of the republic there are grave questions troubling all our hearts. I pledge myself to answer these questions. One question is the war in Vietnam which is not only a war but a Holy Crusade against the godless forces of international Communism. And I say to you if these forces are not contained they will engulf us all.” (Thunderous applause). “And I flatly accuse the administration of criminal diffidence in the use of atomic weapons. Are we going to turn a red and blue ass to the enemy?” (No! No! No!) “Are we going to fight through to victory at any cost?” (Yes! Yes! Yes!) “I say to you we will win if it takes ten years. We will win if we have to police every blade of grass and every gook in Vietnam (Thunderous applause.) “And after that were going to wade in and take care of Chairmen Mao and his band of cutthroat slave drivers.” (Thunderous applause.) “And if any country shall open its mouth to carp at the great American task well a single back-handed blow from our mighty Seventh Fleet will silence that impotent puppet of Moscow and Peking.

“Another question is so-called Black Power. I want to go on record that I am a true friend to all good darkies everywhere.” (To wild applause a picture of the world-famous statue Natchitoches Louisiana flashes on screen. As you all know this statute shows a good old darkie with his hat in his hand and is dedicated to All Good Darkies Everywhere.) Homer’s voice chokes with emotion and tears drip off his purple nose: “Why, when I was fourteen years old our old yard Nigrah Rover Jones got runned over by a laundry truck and I cried my decent American heart out. And I have a deep conviction that the overwhelming majority of Nigrahs in this country is good Darkies like Rover Jones. However we know that there is in this country today another kind of Nigrah and as long as there is a gas pump handy we all know the answer to that.” (Thunderous applause.) “And I would like to say this to followers of the Jewish religion. Always remember we like nice Jews with Jew jokes. As for Nigger-loving Communistic agitating Sheenies well just watch yourself Jew boy or we’ll cut the rest of it off.” (That’s telling ‘em Homer.) What about the legalization of marijuana? “Marijuana! Marijuana! Why that’s deadlier than cocaine. And what are we going to do about the vile America-hating hoodlums who call themselves hippies, Yippies, and chippies? We are going to put this scum behind bars like the animals they are.” (Thunderous applause.) “And I’ll tell you something else. A bunch of queers, dope freaks, and degenerated dirty writers is living in foreign lands under the protection of American passports from the vantage point of which they do not hesitate to spit their filth on Old Glory. Well, we’re gonna pull the passports of those dope freaks.” (The Technician pushes a sex button and the Simian begins to masturbate.) “Bring them back here and teach them to act like decent Americans.” (The Simian emisses, hitting the lens of a Life-Time photographer.) “And I denounce as Communist-inspired rumours that the dollar collapsed in 1959. I pledge myself to turn the clock back to 1899 when a silver dollar bought a steak dinner and a good piece of ass. (Thunderous applause as a plane writes September 17, 1899, across the sky in smoke.) “I have heard it said that this is a lawless nation that if all the laws in this land were truly enforced we would have thirty percent of the population in jail and the remaining seventy percent on the cops. I say to you if there is infection in this great land it must be cut out by the roots. We will not fall into slack-assed permissive anarchism. I pledge myself to uphold the laws of America and to enforce these hallowed statutes on all violators regardless of race, color, creed, or position.” (Thunderous applause.) “We will overcome all our enemies foreign and domestic and stay armed to the teeth for years, decades, centuries.”

The Simian bares his canines, shits on the deck, and wipes his ass with Old Glory.

A phalanx of blue helmeted cops shoulder through the crowd. They stop in front of the deck. The lead cop looks up at A. J. and demands: “Let’s see your permits for that purple-assed son of a bitch.”

“Permits? We don’t have any permits. We don’t have to show you any stinking permits. You are talking suh to the future President of America.”

The lead cop takes a slip of paper from his shirt pocket and reads Municipal Code of Chicago . . . Chapter 98, Section 14. . . “No person shall permit any dangerous animal to run at large, nor lead any such animal with a chain, rope or other appliance, whether such animal be muzzled or unmuzzled, in any public way or public place.” He folds the paper and shoves it back into his shirt pocket. He points at the Purple Better One: “It’s dangerous and we got orders to remove it.”

A cop steps forward with a net. The technician shoves the Rage Dial all the way up. Screaming, farting, snarling, the Simian leaps off the deck onto the startled officer who staggers back and goes down thrashing wildly on the ground while his fellow pigs stand helpless and baffled not daring to risk a shot for fear of killing their comrade. Finally the cop heaves himself to his feet and throws off the Simian. Panting, bleeding, he stands there his eyes wild.

With a scream of rage the Purple Better One throws himself at another patrolman who fires two panicky shots which miss the Simian and crash through a window of the Hilton in the campaign headquarters of a conservative Southern candidate. A photographer from the London Times is riddled with bullets by Secret Service men under the misconception that he has fired from a gun concealed in his camera. The cop throws his left arm in front of his face. The Simian sinks his canines into the cop’s arm. The cop presses his gun against the Simian’s chest and pumps in four bullets. Homer Mandrill thuds to the bloody grass, ejaculates, excretes and dies. A.J. points a finger at the cop.

“Arrest that Pig” he screams, “Seize the assassin!”

A.J. was held in $100,000 bail which he posted in cash out of his pocket. Further disturbances erupted at the funeral when a band of vigilantes who call themselves the White Hunters attempted to desecrate the flag-draped body as it was carried in solemn procession through Lincoln Park on the way to its final resting place in Grant Park. The hoodlums were beaten off by A.J.’s elite guard of Korean Karate experts. The Daughters of the American Revolution who had gathered in front of the Sheraton to protest the legalisation of marijuana were charged by police screaming: “Chippies! Chippies! Chippies!” And savagely clubbed to the side-walk in a litter of diamonds, teeth, blood, mink-stoles and handbags.

As the Simian was laid to rest under a silver replica of The Mayflower a statue of the Purple Better One in solid gold at the helm, A.J. called for five minutes of silent prayer in memory of our beloved candidate: “Cut down in Grant Park by the bullets of an assassin . . .A communistic Jew Nigger inflamed to madness by injections of marijuana . . .The fact that the assassin had, with diabolical cunning, disguised himself as a police officer indicates the working of a far-flung Communistic plot the tentacles of which may reach into the White House itself. This foul crime shrieks to high heaven. We will not rest until the higher-ups are brought to justice whoever and wherever they may be. I pledge myself to name a suitable and worthy successor. We will overcome. We will realize the aspirations and dreams that every American cherishes in his heart. The American Dream can be must be and will be realised. I say to you that Grant Park will be a shrine for all future Americans. In the words of the all-American poet James Whitcombe Riley

‘Freedom shall a while repair
‘To dwell a weeping hermit there.’”

I’m probably repeating half teh comments, but wish to sound off, and seeing as this is my interweb, I shall.

I have turned a corner, or turd a corner: the best thing that can happen now is to hit bottom. We need President Palin — no, better, President Bachmann. We need war with Iran. We need a Great Depression. Balls to the wall: this nation is not going to get it, until it gets it in the cubes.

Let’s cancel income taxes, make corporations into real, actual persons, to be played by celebrities, and have reality shows that follow them around. Let’s only fund the military and cancel Social Security and Medicare because they’re not gummint programs anyway. I want the wingnuts to start shooting. Pitched battles with the ATF and so forth. Once a couple of teabaggers die in a pool of unfired ammunition, they’ll wise up. Old people? Fuck you, you senile, selfish, gutless assholes. Die already, if you don’t want funding for schools and medical care for poor kids. Let’s have every retail store in the nation operated by Wal-Mart. Let’s have paramilitary contractors instead of police. Let’s ban all abortions and make Jesus H. Christ be the centerpiece of every edumacational program in the country. Let’s nuke the Palestinians and Kabul, too, and maybe the parts of Pakistan they don’t want anyway. I could go on — I probably will — but at this point, I want every mountaintop blown apart for coal, I want every river clogged with industrial sewage, every school floured with asbestos, every voting machine jiggered to put the Republican in office, every time.

In short? Let’s finish this thing. I’m tired. I’m sick of it. And nothing will change until everything changes.

Of course it’s easy for me to say — in April I’m looking at farmhouses in rural France… Something with a big barn, a stream running past for hydroelectric, and enough land to grow a few rows of cabbages. Fuck it.

Oh, and every woman has to get a massive boob job, and every man has to dye his hair the same walnut stain color as John Boner’s. And fuck you. And fuck me. Fuck everybody.

Thank you, also.

And–

…and every man has to dye his hair skin the same walnut stain citrus hand solvent cleaner color as John Boner’s…

Fiksd

Just for the hell of it, On Topic: Polls concerning “Whut ‘Murkins Believe” are pretty much meaningless. Don’t 60% or 70% believe that “Angels R Reel?”

Fuck, 60 million of the Ameritards voted for Nixon.

Hey, if Andy McKenna, the immediate past chairman of the Illinois Republican Party, can run for governor as a political outsider, anything might be true.

Jennifer! I love the “Eat Your Brains” video! Then again, I love all zombie references, including ZRM, because of this:
http://www.amazon.com/Rise-Again-Ben-Tripp/dp/1439165165/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1264562632&sr=8-1
That’s right, beeyotches! This September, a Sadlynaught unleashes ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE on the world.

But it won’t be 300 pages. It’s like 800 pages long.

Do I have to change my nym again now that I outed myself?

Hep Tete, to me that approach is like letting an evil genie out of a bottle to show people why it’s a bad idea to let evil genies out of bottles. They may swear off doing it anymore, but at some point you still gotta get the genie back into the damn bottle. America desperately needs social reforms at a fundamental level, but are we really convinced that the only way to solve it is through total annihilation, or that that won’t end up creating more problems?

Testing, testing… New nym. Hey, everybody should preorder that other guy with a similar name’s book so he can afford a French house and then everybody who knows the secret Sadly password (PENIS, BADGERS) can stay in the spacious barn in return for peonage.

Oh sorry, Felonious, didn’t realize anybody was actually reading my — I mean the other guy’s comments. Yes, it’s absolutely letting the genie out of the bottle, and the part I didn’t mention is this: the genie in this case is the death of the fucking environment, so if we’re not fixxoring it now, we’re never going to do it. Total annihilation = better than Olive Garden coupons for lifetime supply of free garlic bread, at this stage in the game.

Also again.

I’m dominating this thread.

Like “Ben Tripp” is anybody’s “real” name. Pocket saw through “Dover?”

Outside chance: You’re not related to Arthur D. III, are you?

It is an unlikely name, whoever he is. All Tripps are related at some distance, as there aren’t many of them. I mean that’s what this one person I know told me anyway. Including Linda, that frigid cow.

I’m dominating this thread.

I think the rule is three posts in a row & you’re self-outed as a sad loser in the proverbial basement somewhere who has nothing else to occupy his time. (Are you, then, Andrew Blartblart?)

I miss Troofie , by the way.

All joshing aside, congratulations on getting knocked uppublished. Too bad you have to wait nine months ’till it arrives.

Lester (because I’m just too busy a zombee to keep track of all the fargin negatives) I better be getting a creative consulting fee on that….

I think the rule is three posts in a row & you’re self-outed as a sad loser in the proverbial basement somewhere who has nothing else to occupy his time. (Are you, then, Andrew Blartblart?)

LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!

I used to think Idiocracy was a portrayal of our likely future. Now I’m thinking more like The Road.

If the collapse comes, I would expect something more like cyberpunk. A handful of fabulously wealthy and utterly unscrupulous potentates at the top; a “middle class” of corporate drones living in gated communities and arcologies willing to suffer any indignity or commit any atrocity to hold on to their status by their fingernails; and howling chaos outside the walls.

But, in homage to our recently published author (congratulations, No Longer Lester!) I would also accept the zombpocalypse.

Accelerate the country’s descent into anarchy by voting for the craziest, kookiest wingnut the GOP rolls out in 2012.

Born to Republicans. Voted for Ron Genocide in 84, radicalized by Rev. Jackson in ’88. Spent the next decade trying to do just that. Didn’t work. Voting for Al Haig was worth the disappointment though.

Troofie is often strangely absent from threads where we are discussing real world examples of how pathetic and mendacious movement conservatives are. If he shows up, it will be to attempt to change the subject.

Oh wait, I confused the threads, he should be all over this one as it validates his precious Fox news.

God Damn you , Brad, I was getting all happy over Pimpy and the Lawyer’s Kid getting their asses busted and the apparent anti-Palin resurrection, and then I get this in my lap, like a big steamy albatross turd.

Job Description. Read the FAQ.

I have had a great day at work if only one big steamy albatross turd has hit my desk.

As for the laptop, here’s a pro=tip for all you Dell fans out there: Don’t pour a glass of red wine into the keyboard. Trust me on this.
~

Of course it’s easy for me to say — in April I’m looking at farmhouses in rural France… Something with a big barn, a stream running past for hydroelectric, and enough land to grow a few rows of cabbages. Fuck it.

Just to be safe, I’ll be building a little hut on that floating garbage continent in the Pacific, subsisting largely on plankton and rainwater. I’ll probably sail to shore in fifty years to see how it all went down.

Bookmark this!

yeah, pour it into the disc drive.

dammit, comment-blocked by a Big Bald Bastard!!

You lie!

I think your post time is the perfect finishing touch — the zero hour.

http://motherjones.com/politics/2010/01/ross-douthat-new-york-times-conservatism
This has to be some other Ross Douthat — or the writer is a fuckwit. Worth reading… About halfway. Then you’ll need to wash.

Like a rug!

A little late to the party, but this poll doesn’t mean a damn thing. In the first place, almost nobody watches cable news. I think the combined ratings of all the networks, even during major events (like 9/11), barely breaks ten million. That’s about 3% of the population for those keeping track. The regular viewing numbers are considerably below that. There’s also the small fact that Fox viewers cling to their network like a lifeline, since it reinforces their worldview so assertively, so they literally swear by it.

By contrast, who the hell is passionate about CNN? A few liberals watch Olberman and Maddow on MSNBC. But it’s not their fucking lifeline. The poll results are skewed due to the vastly greater importance with which conservatives imbue Fox News.

Only old people and well, some middle aged people and a few younger people have landlines anymore. Even a smaller number will sit on the phone willingly and answer idiotic questions about politics. An even smaller and possibly dimmer number will stop what they are doing and find a robotic call interesting enough to listen and follow prompts.

Old people living and dying on Social Security and tend to be more gullible (a lot of it a generational/cutlural thing), people who are sick, drunk or high and have no idea what day it is and people who are at home answering the phone because they haven’t mastered many other skills, do not represent the majority of Americans.

I don’t give a damn what they say. I’ve done phone work and cranky old people, mentally challenged and drunks and stonies are all you get during the day and often at night as well.

I don’t think the apocalypse is here quite yet, although its yurking around the corner, like an old hungry misquito

kate said,

January 27, 2010 at 7:37

Only old people and well, some middle aged people and a few younger people have landlines anymore.

WOULD THIS BE THE SAME DEMOGRAPHIC THAT POURS WHINE INTO TEH KEYBOARD?

Stay offa mylawn™, kate.
~

what’s all this i hear about giving landmines to old people? is this where the death panels come in?

Exactly, TV.

Next thing you know, they make us get special set-a-lights just to watch Johnny Carson.
~

“Only old people and well, some middle aged people and a few younger people have landlines anymore. Even a smaller number will sit on the phone willingly and answer idiotic questions about politics. An even smaller and possibly dimmer number will stop what they are doing and find a robotic call interesting enough to listen and follow prompts.”

The less people have landlines, the more people have internet news. In my case, that’s mostly Associated Press, Reuters and AFP (via Yahoo news) – less frequently, I’ll go straight to the web sites of the Washington Post, BBC, Le Monde or Al Jazeera.

But a lot of people only read politically slanted news, or read the headlines and scarper off to their pet website to be told What It All Means – thinking especially of projects like PJM. The internet’s the ultimate free market in terms of news agencies; people get to pick whatever appeals to their prejudices, which means less and less people out there are getting any facts. I don’t know how that can be reversed, but it’s definitely not a reassuring trend.

The only reason I have a cell ‘phone is so I can call the cops on those punks on my lawn w/o going back in the house, you little bastards!!

u should still be embarrassed ur state is represented by someone as clinically stupid as Scott Brown. Chussettians have not been this embarrassed since the Ravens game.

M. Bouffant said,

January 27, 2010 at 8:58

The only reason I have a cell ‘phone is so I can call the cops on those punks on my lawn w/o going back in the house, you little bastards!!
====================================

Two latte, we have set fire to all your shrubberies!
~

Those losers commenting at Smirking Chimp have been propounding the “vote Repub to accelerate nation’s demise” plan for ages.

No shrubberies, just cacti. Some of those oily ones burn well though.

Knew a black guy (For realz! I did.) in ’68 who was going to vote for George Wallace for the very same reason. That really sucks, when you can’t even vote your own nation into oblivion! Maybe this time.

Seventy percent say the government isn’t working well, according to a NBC/WSJ survey

Since government is supposed to be the problem, isn’t this good news?

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!

It kills when the same bozos that bitch about big government bitch because that same government hasn’t created them a job.

Damnit, America, collapse already. The coyote ran off the cliff long ago, why won’t you look down to see you’re pedalling air?

i loved this post, i have sent it everywhere. i never used to believe in soul-mates, but now i wonder….no more perfect phrase exists for this than “my sentiments *exactly*

bravo, bravo…and well-written

“If the GOP injects a chimp with rabies and puts it on a stump to screech for hours on end, I will vote for that goddamn chimp.”

Too bad. Bush is term limited.