Two-Minute Townhall


All you’ve got is this moment. The 21st century’s yesterday. You can care all you want.

Shorter Mary Katharine Ham: In our topsy-turvy moral environment, it’s considered politically incorrect to disparage all Muslims when a deranged Iranian runs his car into a crowd of students, yet a bunch of rich white boys are denied the benefit of the doubt when they’re accused of rape.

Shorter Congressman Scott Garrett: Do you know the facts on medical liability lawsuits? No? Good, because that’ll make my job a lot easier.

Shorter Jeff Emanuel: The law should never subvert the will of a large majority of voters.

Shorter Walter Williams: I’ve had enough of the government intruding into my personal affairs and invading my — whoa-whoa-whoa. Warrantless wiretaps? Phone call database? Slow down just a minute there, my man. I was talking about seatbelt laws.

Shorter Chuck Colson: In Michael Schiavo’s world, autopsies would be performed on the living to find a reason to kill them.

Shorter Michelle Malkin: If this “Jessie MacBeth” character turns out to be as fake as those Dan Rather memos, we can probably dismiss all subsequent questions about troop misconduct in Iraq.

Shorter John Stossel: The poor should pay extra for food, clothing and shelter, because they need those things more than we do.

Shorter Brent Bozell: The Dixie Chicks are only trashing the president because it will help them sell records to all the people who hate him.

Shorter Terence Jeffrey: Passing an “English-only” amendment can’t possibly be racist because Martin Luther King Jr. spoke English.

Shorter Tony Blankley: Let me try my hand at this “humor” business.

Shorter Linda Chavez: You can agree or disagree with Sen. McCain’s politics, but you shouldn’t say you disagree. I mean, not out loud.

Shorter Paul Greenberg: We’ll never fix the immigration problem, as long as people still want to come here.

Shorter Jonah Goldberg: Conditions after Hurricane Katrina weren’t really all that bad, and they would’ve been even more pleasant if it weren’t for the media.

Shorter Thomas Sowell: We should build a wall at the border first, and then deal with all those anchor babies.

Shorter Ben Shapiro: Democrats won’t win any elections by defending the rule of law, preserving civil rights or protecting the environment.

Shorter Jacob Sullum: I’m not so sure that the president’s approval rating is the same thing as national security.


Comments: 19


Anchor babies?

That may be practical for small boats, but I think you’d have to use rather a lot of them to keep your yacht in the harbor.


….everyone does, that’s okay….


I refuse to give them a hit. Is that really what the Pantload is saying? Would’ve liked to see his fat ass reporting from New Orleans.


Now Devastate, Appreciate, Depreciate, Fabricate….


Stossel’s level of sympathy for catasrophe survivors is medal worthy, if that medal is the Iron Cross. What an asshole. I suppose he would defend that guy in Raleigh who, after hurricane Fran, charged an elderly woman around $90,000 to remove the fallen trees. Were Stossel the victim, he’d be screaming like a whiny-ass-titty-baby (credit to The Poor Man Institute).


Surprise, Surprise.. the Liberal anti-FBI stance of the Jefferson apologists is ignored here.

The fact is that real conservatives know that the Democrat Party is a party of corruption, from how they act, to how they act in office.


Sullum’s article is pretty good.

Garrett is my Congressman and he’s scary. Even old time Republican’s up here in Sussex County NJ think his “Jesus chose me.” line of thinking is whacked out. I wonder how his concern about rising Medical costs and how they’re going up for all of us because of the burden on Insurance Companies plays out against Walter Williams’ liberty interest in being thrown through the windshield and onto the highway at a high rate of speed.


the Liberal anti-FBI stance of the Jefferson apologists

like Denny Hastert?


Yeah, can you find one person on here who’s defended Jefferson, Gary?

I think you’re at the wrong Web site. Blindly defending incompetent, corrupt politicians without any regard for fact, public record, or consistency is a Republican thing. In fact, if I remember correctly it was added to their official party platform at the ’04 convention.


Gary is trying to out-stupid the ClownHall Crew.



why do joo torture jourself thees way, eh?

Joo do no even need to read their crappy articles.

Joo could just as easily post all their names up followed by “blah-blah-blah meeeowargh-koff-koff *splatt*” and eet would be just as truthful, no?



You know, that Stossel column looks awfully familiar. I’m too lazy to look it up, but I think he’s actually done a column about that schmuck before. At the very least I know that this isn’t his first “price-gouging = good” column. I especially love how he seems to be arguing that taking advantage of desperate people is morally equivalent to charity.

I second King Spirula: libertarian types like Stossel are always the first to go whining to someone (often the government) when things don’t go their way. Funny, that.


Seems like he wrote the same thing about bottled water price gouging after Katrina, so he is basically plagarizing himself so people don’t know he just phoned this one in.


Having been to Mississippi (3 months after the storm) to help clean up (a drop in a VERY large bucket), maybe Jonah should take his very large posterior down there to do the same and then maybe he’s see that things weren’t so blown out of proportion. It’s still a mess and will be for years to come. Lives were lost and lives were ruined, but I guess because it’s nobody Jonah knows, he can’t imagine that it’s all that bad. Tool.


I suppose he would defend that guy in Raleigh who, after hurricane Fran, charged an elderly woman around $90,000 to remove the fallen trees.

Well sure, because if he charged regular prices, all the tree-removal would have been snapped up by people who wanted to have some extra tree-removal around just in case. By charging exorbitant prices for tree-removal, the tree-remover can ensure that those who need tree-removal the most will be unable to afford it, thus guaranteeing that he will always have plenty of tree-removal in supply for when Richie McMoneybags needs his acacia pruned.


Technically, most of Stossel’s columns for Townhall have been along that same line. They’re all rough drafts, you see. Someday he’s going to make sense.

He’ll still be a gigantic prick, of course.


They’re all rough drafts, you see. Someday he’s going to make sense.

But, then, we won’t be able to afford him

anthony v. cuccia

So, Jerkweed Jonah Goldberg
thinks life after Katrina
was so great does he? What a complete moron! Does he know what a city is like when 80% of its area is flooded and there are no
telephones, potable water
facilities, sanitation, police protection, or places to buy anything? He is clueless.
I have been living in this
paradise for close to 6 months now (actually a couple of miles away since my house is still unusable)
and normal is not a word we
would use to describe life
in metro New Orleans or Gulf Coast Mississippi.
No, it has been hell for most people and Dimwit Leader and his gang in DC
are not making it any better.
If this is how well informed Goldberg is on most issues I wonder why anyone bothers to read him
at all. His credibility
is zero.


Surprise, Surprise.. the Liberal anti-FBI stance of the Jefferson apologists is ignored here.

Why would we be apologizing for Thomas Jefferson? If anything, you wingnuts should be apologizing to him.


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